One More Chance
by tpec1991
Summary: When Edward&Bella met it was love at 1st sight. On their wedding day, Edward makes a huge mistake. Hurt, Bella runs away w/o a trace. What happens when years later he runs into her and discovers that she's NOT with some1 but also she's not ehmm... ALONE?
1. Chapter 1: The Man Who Can't Be Moved

One more chance

**One more chance**

**Hello guys! So, this is my first fanfiction ever. I read a lot of Twilight fanfiction and I always wanted to give it a try. I have been thinking about this story for a while, so I am not exactly making it on the go. I'll like to warn you that English is not my first language, so there might be some mistakes, well... a LOT so please be patient, and if you notice something, please tell me! I am also looking for a Betta reader for this story, so I won't have this problem... If anyone is up for the job, let me know! I'll try to post every sunday, I have hopes that I'll be able to keep on schedule since I know where the story is headed. So thanks again for reading. See ya at the bottom!**

**Full Summary: When Edward met Bella it was love at first sight. They were made for each other. Six months after meeting each other he pops the question. Never doubting her love for him Bella says yes, but, on their wedding day, Bella finds that Edward has made the worst thing she never thought he would do to her. Hurt, Bella runs away without a trace. No one ever knew nothing more about her. Broken, Edward "tries" to go on with his life, but he never stopped loving her. Four years later Edward finds himself on a park, where he bumps into her. What happens when he discovers that she is NOT with someone, but also she is not EXACTLY alone? Will Edward overcome his fears and do what's best to get his family back? Or will he fail and lose what's now EVERYTHING to him? Will Bella ever forgive him? Will Bella give him One More Chance?**

***WARNING* This story contains scenes about non-consensual sex and criminal use of a rape drug. It's not too graphic, just dreams and memories but if you are sensitive to these themes, feel free to skip it. I won't be offended =)**

Chapter 1. The man who can't be moved

_**"The Man Who Can't Be Moved" – The Script**_

_Going Back to the corner where I first saw you  
>Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move<br>Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand  
>Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am? "<em>

_Some try to hand me money, they don't understand_  
><em>I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man<em>  
><em>I know it makes no sense but what else can I do<em>  
><em>How can I move on when I'm still in love with you<em>

_'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me_  
><em>And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be<em>  
><em>Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet<em>  
><em>And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street<em>  
><em>So I'm not moving, I'm not moving<em>

The alarm on my clock tells me it's time to wake up. I don't wanna wake up. I know what day is today, and I don't wanna wake up.

I hit the snoozer.

The fucking alarm rings again.

"Fuck!"

I get frustrated and end up throwing the damn thing against the wall. Dramatic much? Well, believe it or not it happens every year. I guess I'll have to go to Best Buy later. _As every year_. But, who cares? Right?

August 13th, _Fuck. You_.

Before you judge me, let me explain why I am being like this. Today should have been the best day of my life 4 years ago. Funny how things worked out in the end, as of now I'll damn this day for the rest of my existence.

My name is Edward Anthony Cullen, I am a 29 years old pediatrician and surgeon who fucked up big time exactly 4 years ago. See, I was going to marry the love of my life, but it took a few shots of tequila and a fuck-wit like me to fuck up my own wedding… or life I'll say, as she was my life. She still is though, that's why I don't wanna face this day. I can't bear it, even though today isn't much different from any other day -as I am not living anymore- so what difference does it make? She left. Now I barely exist, I just go day by day, minute by minute. I get up early for work; go to the clinic, work, lunch, work, and come back home to a cold bed. _Alone_. What a life. But still, _this_ day is the hardest, but again I know I deserve it after what I did. I'll never forgive myself, so I never expected her to forgive me, or anyone from my family even though they did. I don't deserve any of them.

My family… at first I know they were disappointed, I could see the judgment in their eyes, especially Carlisle, my dad. He was the hardest on me. But they had no other option than support me as they are my family… well, some of them did. Others like my sister, Alice hold what happened against me for a couple of years. After all, I took her best friend away from her. We are ok now, but it took me a visit to the hospital for her to talk properly to me again. Yeah, I am not proud of that, even though I barely remember…

_I was on the floor, watching as the bottle beside me emptied itself all over the carpet in my living room. I heard voices… but I wasn't there. I heard screaming, crying and more screaming, but I didn't make sense of any of it. I wasn't here anymore… I was in my happy place._

"_EDWARD! EDWARD! OH MY GOD! EMMETT HELP ME!" _

_Mom?_

"_FUCK! EDWARD WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?" I think that was Emmet. I felt rather than saw someone feeling my pulse on that vein on my neck, but I wasn't here._

_I was with her, we were at our usual spot at the coffee shop. She was on my lap, her hand in mine, my lips on her temple. My favorite place after her lips, as I could smell her hair at the same time…_

"_ALICE! CALL AN AMBULANCE AND GET A HOLD ON YOUR DAD! NOW!" Mom cried._

"_Fucking hell, Edward! What were you thinking you fucking IDIOT!?" Emmet cried. _

_Emmet never cried. What was happening?_

_She traced her fingers over my jaw and temple in a tender caress and I stole a kiss on her lips… making her giggle. The sound went straight to my chest making my heart flip a couple of times. It was my favorite sound in the entire world._

"_Do you… do you think… he emptied… everything already?" Mom sobbed._

"_I don't know, maybe…" Emmet's unsure voice drifted into my mind but I tried to push it away. I was on my happy place. "but I only see bile… Shit I don't think he ate at all today… but his pulse is really low… as is his temperature… FUCK! ALICE WHERE'S THE FUCKING AMBULANCE!" Emmet screamed even harder, if that was possible._

_We were walking down the street, on our way to our place hand in hand. She was giggling, I was making her giggle with silly antics. It was my favorite job. She suddenly stopped, put her arms around me and pulled me for a kiss._

"_IT'S ON ITS WAY!" Alice cried. "How much do you think he had? Oh my god Edward!" I felt someone touched my forehead._

"_I don't know, but the whole fucking LCBO is close enough." An angry and desperate Emmet cried._

"_Eddie… I am so sorry" Alice sniffed._

"_Edward, c'mon bro!" Emmet urged as I felt someone pushing at my chest repeatedly._

Emmet, I owe him a lot. He practically saved my life I didn't know he had it in him. If it wasn't for him giving me CPR before the ambulance arrived I wouldn't be her right know. He was persistent. He has been there for me along with mom since the beginning. Those first months after she left, they took care of me, even though I could see the hurt in my mother's eyes, her hurt because of my hurting and myself destroying, and the hurt of missing someone that was like a daughter to her. But still she looked after me.

Those first months were hell, I wouldn't listen to anyone, I would start screaming at anyone who mentioned her and throw a fit at anyone who tried to calm me. I stopped working, eating, showering, shaving. They came everyday to take care of those things for me. That's how they found me dying of alcohol poisoning in the middle of my living room that afternoon. Yeah, I know… I am not proud of it. When I started to come around when I got out of the hospital, they tried to engage me into activities with them… simple things, like going to the gym with Em, grocery shopping with mom, or going to the clinic again with dad. Alice even started talking to me again.

But no matter what they tried, I'll never be me again. She left.

When I am not working, surrounded by children, they say I am like a robot, cold and quiet, I think they are right. Me without her… I'm just a body in search of its soul. I wonder if things would be easier if I knew something about her. Like, where she lives now for starters. But that's the thing… I haven't heard anything from her since that day. She just vanished, like smoke. Even my sister knows nothing about her. Sometimes I wonder if Angela -her oldest best friend- really doesn't know anything but she swears she doesn't.

I decide I can't drag this any longer. I've been awake, staring at a spot on wall for an hour by now, -time doesn't mean anything to me anymore- so I get up, and go to the bathroom. I splash my face with cold water, after drying it with a towel I look closely to myself in the mirror and see how time has passed. I can already see the start of some wrinkles on my forehead and in the corner of my eyes. It hurts to actually see how life has go on and I'm still stuck on the same place, but as always I ignore it.

I brush my teeth as I start the shower, beginning my morning routine. I step into the shower stall, grab my shampoo bottle next to hers and put some shampoo on my palm, wash my hair and then my body. As I rub the soap against my torso, my right hand goes down and grab my member. I start with long slow strokes before quickening the pace as I stand down the hot spray, seeking for a fast release, for something to make me feel better at least for a few seconds, I want to forget but as always… after reaching my climax and I am done I feel worse than I did when I woke up. I feel even more empty.

Hollow.

I let out a shaky breath and turn off the shower.

I step out of the shower and go to the walk-in closet next to the bathroom in our room, -yeah, I still call it _ours_, because it is. Even though she is gone, it still is _ours_- I ignore the left side of the closet. _Her_ side -untouched since that day, exactly as she left it. With her navy sweater still on the floor next to her favorite sneakers and that blue blouse that I loved on her about to fall from its hanger- and get a pair of jeans and a blue v-neck shirt from my side. After I put my jeans and shirt on, I look myself in the full length mirror in our room and pass a hand through my hair. I gave up on trying to tame it in high school, so I don't bother to comb it now. Plus, she used to love my messy hair, or sex hair, as she called it.

After putting my shoes on I grab the keys to my car and get the hell out of there. I have no appointments for today. Heidi knows better than to arrange an appointment this day. So I have all day to myself, my brooding and my guilt. Nobody really wants to make me company -not that I would allow it- so nobody bothers me.

After a 20 minute ride from our place I park on Queen St. and decide to walk the rest of the way there. To that Tim Hortons on the corner of Richmond St. near the Scotiabank Theater. When I get there I go inside and order the same: black coffee, no sugar. She would always order her same too: French Vanilla Cappuccino, one sugar, extra hot. How could I forget? She could have anything she wanted.

After I get my coffee I go and sit on the same spot, on a corner against the window, and just watch the people pass by. As always, I retrieve to my own and let the memories haunt me.

"_Fuckfuck, fuckity, FUCKFUCK!"_

_I cursed to myself as I walked hurriedly on the sidewalk. Fucking Em, always changing plans on the last minute. He was supposed to pick me up at mine and dad's clinic an hour ago so we could ride together to mom's new gallery opening, but the fucker forgot to tell me that he would get a ride with Rose. So now__** I**_ _am late. _

_His excuse?_

"_Sorry Ginger, didn't I leave you a message? Rose called, and turns out she was able to come too. She picked me up."_

_Fucking Emmet, the love sick IDIOT. The minute Rose enters into his mind it's as if the rest of the world doesn't exist. Yeah… he's whipped, like really bad… movie, fairytale and shit style. One time he and Rose got into a huge fight and the dude was useless, really fucking useless. He didn't even showered for the whole weekend they were apart, it took Jasper and me to get him out of bed for primal things… like eating and shit. And moving around a guy his size ain't easy let me tell ya. But all the trouble was worth it when we got to see Rose kicking his ass for being such a baby when she got back. Emmet might be a big guy but Rose has the pants in that relationship, she can be really scary sometimes. You don't mess with her. I talk about experience here, I am not just digressing. _

_Anyways, I don't really mind my brother being such a pussy where Rose is concerned, but in situations like this it would be useful for him to use his brain a little bit, don't ya think? Now I am an hour late and have to take the subway because a fucking taxi will take too much time at this time in the late afternoon._

_As I am walking to the subway station my blackberry rings, it's a message from Alice._

_**WHERE ARE YOU! –A**_

_**Sorry, I'll be there in fifteen –E**_

_**WHAT?! Hurry ur ass up here, the thing is about to finish! –A**_

"_Yeah, like that's what I needed to know." I muttered to myself sarcastically, rolling my eyes at no one. "Damn it!" I was about to reply, when suddenly out of my peripheral vision I saw someone coming out from the Tim Hortons I was passing by and slam against me._

"_HEY!" I said._

"_SHIT!" she yelped stepping backwards. But it was too late as her beverage spilled all onto herself._

"_Fuck, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" I said worriedly, as I knew her drink must have been hot._

"_Damn, that was hot!" She screamed, bending forward trying to separate her damped shirt from her stomach._

_That's what she said. I stifled my laugh to my own lame joke._

_Ok, focus Cullen._

"_I'm so sorry, I was on a hurry. Didn't see you" That's when she looked up and I was met with the most beautiful, big, brown eyes I would ever see. _

"_No, it was my fault," She smiled embarrassedly at me "graceful is not exactly my middle name." She snorted the last bit, with a small lovely blush spreading over her cheeks. _

"_Still, let me get you another drink? As an apology? I feel awful…" I asked hopeful, I really felt awful especially when I saw her attempting to dry her shirt with a napkin._

"_Really, it was not your fault, things like this happens on a daily basis to me." She smiled. _

_Damn, she had a beautiful smile too. _

"_Please, otherwise I won't be able to sleep at night." I joked lightly._

"_Yeah sure, not repaying a one dollar coffee would take you beauty sleep away." She joked back. _

_She thought I was beautiful?_

"_Please, let me make it up to you."_

"_I'm fine, really."_

_The chirp on my blackberry alerted me of a new message._

_**It's over. See you at the after dinner. Dad is pissed. -A**_

"_Humor me?" I said spreading my hand in the direction of the coffee shop_

"_You don't give up, right?" She raised an eyebrow playfully. Her eyes dancing in amusement. _

"_Nope" I said, popping the p._

"_Ok. Medium French Vanilla Cappuccino. One sugar, extra hot." She nodded with a smile._

"_I'm Edward." I stretched my hand out to her._

"_Bella."_

"_Are you Italian?"_

_She laughed._

As I finished the last of my coffee, I thought about what happened later, when we came inside so I could buy her a new coffee. We sat on this very table and talked for hours, it was amazing. The things she shared with me, what I shared with her, I even forgot about the after dinner. It was as if we knew each other for years instead of hours. She was 22, I learned that she was an only child, her mom left her and her father when she was 6 years old and never came back._ Bitch_. His father –retired now- used to be chief of police in a small town in the States and never got remarried, she was American but came to Toronto to study English at U of T. She said she wanted something new and different that's why she came to Canada. She had a full scholarship and worked at a café near campus to pay rent. I also learned that aside from being gorgeous, she was smart and funny.

She was perfect.

We exchanged numbers, and for the following couple of weeks we would meet here during our break times. She was about to graduate so she really didn't have much classes to attend to, I on the other hand had recently graduated from med school, earlier than planned thanks to my brains as mom said. In high school, I was kind of a geek… well, not kind of, I _was _a geek. Dad says I am a genius, -after what happened _that_ day I don't really think so – Jasper, my best friend, even jokes that all the brain cells were spend on me so that's why Emmet doesn't have any. Anyway, coming back to the main topic, I managed to graduate earlier from high school and go straight into med school. That's why at 24 I was working at my Dad's clinic as a received pediatrician, with honors and the whole circus.

It took me 2 weeks to ask her out on an official date. I was scared shitless she would say no, that's why it took me so long.

Her answer?

"_You kept me waiting long enough!"_

After rolling my eyes at her, I couldn't hide my smile at her answer, it was so big I thought my face was gonna break in two. That Friday I took her out on our very first date. I picked her up at 7 o'clock at her apartment and took her to Canoe. That was my Mom's favorite restaurant and it's pretty good, so I thought it would be a great choice. I was right. After that, we went for a walk through the city. We didn't realize how much time had passed until we saw that almost every store was closed. I took her back to her place and she invited me in… I know what you must be thinking, and the answer is no. I am a gentleman after all, I wasn't planning anything and I liked her a lot, I didn't want to give her a bad impression of me.

_When Bella ask me if I wanted to come inside, I was frozen on the spot. I didn't know what to do. Of course I wanted to go inside, I couldn't get enough of her and I didn't want the night to end. But what if this was a test? Was she just being polite? Did she really want me to? What should I do? _

_She answered my dilemma._

"_C'mon, I won't bite." She winked at me, I laughed out loud. "I promise I'll be good." She batted her eyelashes playfully. _

"_Alright, but only if you are sure."_

"_I trust you." She said shyly, playfulness gone._

_We went into her apartment, it was small and had Bella all over the place. It was incredible how much I already knew her after only 2 weeks. I sat on the couch on her small living room while she went into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine. She came back with it and 2 glasses, offered one to me and sat next to me on the couch. _

"_So… you like?" She said gesturing to her apartment. I looked to her beautiful profile, marveled at her beauty and happy aura surrounding her._

_Very, I wanted to said but I had a felling she wasn't referring to what I was thinking she was._

"_Yeah, it's a really nice place. You live alone?" I said instead._

"_Well, I used to have a roommate, Angela… I think I told you about her, she's my oldest friend, she moved out a month ago to go and live with her boyfriend." She said smiling. _

_She smiled a lot, she was a happy person. I loved that about her._

"_Any luck finding a new roommate?"_

"_Nah, and I'm not sure I want one. I always wanted a room for my painting. So I think I'll make her room into a studio or something."_

"_You paint?" I asked, looking around to see if there was something made by her on the walls._

"_Yeah…" she smiled. "And no, you can't see anything."_

"_Why?" I said turning to her truly disappointed_

"_I only paint personal stuff, things that resemble important things in my life."_

"_So?" I insisted._

"_If I showed you anything I'll have to kill you after." She winked at me before taking a zip of her wine._

_I leaned over, my eyes zeroing into hers._

"_I thought you trusted me."_

"_I do." She said in a weird voice and I saw her swallow a little before composing herself "That's why I told you that I paint. It's a secret." She whispered the last part playfully._

"_Awww. C'mon, I promised you I'll play the piano for you one day-"_

"_It's different."_

"_How so?" I whispered, tilting my head to the side. Trying to dazzle her into it with the power of my stare, as once my sister told me I had the ability to. _

_She met my eyes, and I was stunned again by the beauty of hers. We held each other's gaze for a long time until something flashed in her eyes and she shook her head a little._

"_Nice try." She smirked, breaking the connection. Huh?_

"_What?" I said smiling mischievously, hiding my grin while a drank from my glass. _

"_I know what you are trying. I am not that easy." She laughed taking another zip of her wine._

"_Damn!" I said in mock annoyance hitting my leg with my palm, she laughed at that. "So what do I have to do to see The Bella's Gallery?" _

"_Nobody sees The Bella's Gallery" She laughed, using the same name I used to her paintings._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_That," she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly "__**Nobody sees the Bella's Gallery**_. _Simple. I thought you were kind of an Einstein or something." She teased watching me from the ring of her glass while she took a zip. _

"_Alright, Alright." I said giving up for now "So you just paint for yourself?"_

"_Mhmm." She said swallowing. _

"_Do you also like to go to expositions and stuff? Or just to paint?"_

"_I like to go to expositions and __**stuff**__" She laughed the last part "Actually there is a new gallery that opened a couple of weeks ago that I wanted to go, but I hadn't have the time. I have seen other paintings of the artist in different galleries and I like her a lot."_

"_Who's this gallery?" I said, thinking if maybe Mom knew the artist so I could get her a private viewing or something._

" "_Breaking Dawn" by Esme Platt. She has a new series called "Eclipse" that I wanted to see." I almost choked on my wine, from all the artists in Toronto she had to like my mother, what are the odds?_

"_Yeah, she is great."_

"_You know her?"_

"_I'll say so" I grinned._

The look on her face when I took her to my mom's gallery the next day was priceless. Before leaving for the night I asked her if I could see her tomorrow, she immediately said yes. After my heart did some flipping thing inside me, -I know, what a girl I am- I told her I'll pick her up at 6pm the next day. By this time the gallery would be closed but I called Jessica, mom's assistant for a favor. I knew she had a small crush on me so she'll do anything I'll ask for, so by the time we arrived Jessica had everything that I asked for ready. In the middle of the main room, -where the "Eclipse" series were hanging- stood a small table for two with a light dinner, wine and candles.

"_Oh my gosh! Are you sure we are allowed to be here?" She asked wide eyed._

"_Yup."_

"_Are you sure?"_

"_I thought you trusted me?" I teased, she laughed._

"_You are going to hold that against me forever don't you?" _

_I liked the fact that she had said forever. _

"_Don't worry about this, we are fine" I reassured her._

"_Really?" She asked with excitement on her voice looking around._

"_Really" I loved making her smile. "Now, tour?"_

_She nodded and I took her hand in mine, when she didn't pull away I let out a sigh in relief and smiled at her, she returned it with a shy smile of her own and I winked at her before pulling her to the farthest end of the room, to the first painting._

_So I began to explain her about the artist's techniques, inspirations and theme of the series that I knew as if I had done them myself._

"…_she prefers to use expressionism lighting, as it gives more dramatics to her paintings… also with this technique she can bring the attention to any part of the painting she wants, something you couldn't do with realism, as the light would have to follow certain path-"_

"_You never told me you knew about art." She asked raising an eyebrow._

"_Well… I grew up surrounded by artists."_

"_Really?" _

"_Well..." I passed a hand through my hair nervously, a habit I got from my dad. "You see… my mom… she is the artist."_

_She laughed. Why is she always laughing at me?_

"_What are you laughing at?" I asked, feigning offence._

"_Figures." She muttered to herself "You are so adorable, thank you for doing all this for me, you didn't have to." She smiled._

"_I know… I like to… though. It's nice to see you smile like that." I said, caressing her left cheek with the back of my fingers with my free hand. She looked down shyly, a lovely blush spreading through her cheeks and neck. When she looked back at me, her gaze held mine once again. Her eyes hiding something big, some emotion I couldn't decipher but that trapped me into her deep brown eyes. It thrilled me, making my heart beat a thousand miles per hour in excitement, joy and fear at the same time. As if my heart knew something that my mind had yet to realize._

"_So… are you going to kiss me now?" My fingers were still against her cheek._

_Huh, WHAT?!_

"…_hmm… shou- " _

_But I was cut short by her lips on mine._

Yeah, she kissed me first, that's how awesome she was. I still remember how that first kiss felt like, what was passing through my mind. I just knew then and there that everything I had been looking for, everything I didn't even know that I wanted, and everything I'll ever need was there between my hands.

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the ever present pain there. _Where are you?... Are you happy?... Are you with someone else?_ I rubbed my face furiously with both hands at that thought, frustration, anger and guilt building inside me. When I looked down and saw my hands were wet I realized I was crying. _Again. _You would think that by being a man I should be handling things differently, that I was being a selfish bastard after what I did, but I just can't. She _is_ my life… when she left, she took everything away with her, and I'm _empty_… I'm nothing without her, _nothing_.

The pain, ugh… the _pain_… it never goes away, it never got easier through the years either, I just learned to exist with it by going numb through most part of the day. After the episode with the alcohol poisoning, I promised my family that I'll never drink like that again, I told them I was sorry and that I would start trying -I don't know what- but that they didn't have to worry about me anymore. So to avoid any future incidents I stopped doing stuff that reminded me of her. I stopped playing the piano, listening to music, watching series, buying fucking Pop Tarts… Only when I was alone at night I would crumble sometimes now. When something or someone would trick it by accident, like if Lifehouse's "You and Me" played on the radio, if "Friends" was on the neighbors TV or if I caught a glimpse of some Pop Tarts at the grocery's store. She was addicted to those, she would make me go and get them for her at the Shoppers on the corner at my street whenever we ran out of them.

So I stopped doing everything that reminded me of her… but coming here, I don't know why… I think that maybe, if I come here enough… that maybe… I don't know, I just have this hope that I'll see her you know? or that I'll run into her someday.

My phone rang bringing me out of my musings. I ignored it, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I realized it was getting late so I got up and left the coffee shop. As I walked through the busy street I decided to walk all the way to U of T. You know?... why not putting some more acid on my scarred heart?

While walking to campus, I remembered what happened the next day after our second date at the gallery. It was Sunday and as every Sunday my family and I would have brunch at my parents' house.

_I was about to ring the doorbell to Carlisle and Esme's when the door suddenly flew open._

"_WHAT'S HER NAME!" My pixie little sister asked, beaming at me._

"_Huh?" I asked stupidly._

"_**Her**__name!" _

"_Well, hello to you too…" I said ignoring her questioning eyes and making my way in to the house. Once inside I headed to the living room with Alice bouncing up and down right on my heels._

"_Don't change the subject, tell me about her!" She insisted._

"_About who? Don't know what you are talking about…" I lied shrugging off my jacket and throwing it into the couch._

"_Awww c'mon! Just tell me! I know you had a little date with a girl at the gallery" Fucking Jessica and her big mouth "How's she like?" My sister pleaded with her bright, big blue eyes and pouty mouth._

_Ugh, I hated when she used the pout on me._

"_How's who like?" Emmet suddenly asked, coming into the living room from the kitchen, hand in hand with Rose -nothing new there- and a PBJ sandwich on the other hand –nothing new there either- and sat on one of the couches with Rose on his lap._

"_Edward's girlfriend!" Alice squealed clapping her hands together._

"_What?!" Emmet and Rosalie asked in unison "Why didn't I know about her?" Emmet continued offended. I just rolled my eyes at them, pulling at my hair at the same time with my right hand infrustration._

"_Fucking Jessica" I muttered to myself._

"_YOU ARE FUCKING JESSICA?!" Emmet screamed really disturbed. I couldn't blame him, Jessica wasn't something to really be proud of. She was your typical no brains, plastic girl type._

"_NO! Of course not!" I yelled immediately._

"_Ugh! Thank god!" Emmet shuddered. _

"_So, who __**are**__you fucking?" Rose piped in._

"_I am __**not**__ fucking anyone." Yet, the horny bastard side of me thought. He was getting bored. Poor guy._

"_No surprise there…" Jasper sang, coming from the bathroom down the hall and sat next to Alice with a smirk on his face. _

_Idiot. _

_I glared at him._

"_What's going on?" Mom asked, coming from the kitchen -with dad right on her heels- carrying a tray of OJ and placing it on the coffee table._

"_EDWARD HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" Alice screeched excitedly._

"_What?" Mom asked looking at me, a huge fucking smile on her face. The woman was glowing, I could see the hope on her eyes. She had been worried that I was a little lonely, with school I didn't really had time to date and after the whole Tanya incident… -I shuddered, better not go there- she might have thought I was done dating and scarred for life._

"_Ugh!" I groaned hating the sudden attention. "Why Alice?! I really don't want to do this now!"_

"_Just tells us her name" Mom pleaded "I want to know the name of the girl who finally melted your frozen heart." She teased, but I could see the light in her eyes._

"_That is… if she__** is **__a girl" Jasper said making Emmet bark a laugh, Rose joining him._

"_Hardy har" I said without humor. _

_Ok, what if I haven't had an official girlfriend for a couple of years? Is not as if I hadn't get some since then. Ok, I know I am not a man whore or anything close to it but I still have the oils changed once in a while you know? I just have been on a dry spell lately. _

"_So," my dad finally spoke "are you really seeing someone?" he asked tentatively._

_At that I couldn't help the fucking smile that threatened to split my face in two. My mom always said I was an open book and anyone could read me easily._

_I yelped at my pixie's sister's joy._

"_AGHHHHHHHHHHH!" Alice squealed, leaving us all deaf for a minute or two. Seriously, how someone so little can have lungs like hers? It was beyond me._

"_It was about time Eddie, welcome to manhood!" Emmet said, I just rolled my eyes at him again. That pretty sure was my answer at everything he said._

_I flipped him off and Mom ignored that, she was a woman on a mission, she wanted information _

"_So, why didn't you bring her today? What's her name? How old is she? Why don't you call her now and ask her to come and join us?" She asked seriously._

"_Are you crazy? You seriously expect me to bring her to this crazy household?"_

"_Hey!" Alice scolded "Don't be a jackass, we are just so happy for you. We love you and you deserve to be happy." She pouted trying to convince me by being all sweet and innocent. Fuck again with that fucking pout!_

"_Don't even try that shit with me, I invented that pout and the answer still is no. At least not yet." I said a little annoyed._

"_AWWWW! Edward, c'mon! you are being a bad brother you know?" Alice pouted again, she was being difficult._

"_Sorry Alice, I won't bring Bella-"_

"_HA! At least we know it's a girl!" Jasper said_

"_DUDE! Why are you still here?!" I said to an amused Jasper. Yeah, he was my best friend and my sister's boyfriend but still I wouldn't think it twice in kicking his ass if he continued to be no help._

"_Bella" Mom mused tapping a finger on her chin. "I like it, is she Italian?" She beamed at this new bit of information._

_At that I laughed._

"_She gets that a lot." I laugh remembering our first encounter "It's actually short for Isabella, and that's all the info you'll get. Sorry, Cullen inquisition is over." I winked at mom and she pouted. DAMN! I hate when she or Alice use the fucking pout, it does break my heart every time and they know it. Little sneaky bitches, but I won't give in this time._

"_I mean it." I said seriously when she wouldn't bulge in._

"_Jerk." Mom sneered teasingly at me._

"_Yeah, love you too mom" I said over my shoulder heading to the dining room and leaving all the fuck-wits behind._

I was sitting on a bench somewhere at U of T in front o a big building when I looked at my watch and realized it was getting late, so I decided to head back to my car. I groaned when I realized how much I had walked but endured the way back. When finally I got to my car, I got inside and headed to Best Buy. When I finally got home I went straight to the fridge, I was starving by then as it was 6 pm already. Time didn't have sense for me anymore as I said before. I could be sitting or staring at something for hours without knowing. Except when I was at the clinic of course, but I was still a complete useless nowadays on my personal life. I made myself a sandwich, poured some juice, headed to the TV room and turned it on on a random channel just to have some noise on the silent house.

Jeopardy was on.

"_MARTIN LUTHER KING YOU IDIOT!" Bella screamed at my TV. It was hilarious. It was Wednesday evening, the week following after my parents' brunch. Since then Bella and I have met everyday at Tim Hortons during our breaks and after my shift for dinner. Tonight I decided to take her to my place and order some pizza. That's how I found myself watching Jeopardy with a flustered and angry Bella beside me._

"_You know honey, you should go to that show" I teased her as I swallowed a bite from my pizza. She tried to punch me in my chest but I caught her little fist in my hand. "Ha! Feisty are we?" I said wriggling my eyebrows at her making her blush at her outburst. Of course I have learned by now that she blushed pretty often. _

_I loved it._

"_You should be careful you know? I can cause an awful lot of pain if intended. Cop's daughter, remember?" she said pointing to herself with her other hand. "But because you are pretty I'll be nice." She lift her chin in playful arrogance. _

_She really shouldn't have said that._

_I threw her back on the couch and started tickling her all over her stomach, ribs, armpits, nuzzling her neck… Damn, she smelled good._

"_STOP!... STOP! PLEASEEE!" She begged between fits of laugher. Yeah, she was ticklish. _

"_What did you just said?!" I asked trying to control my laugh._

"_WHAT… WHAT DID… DID I DO… WRONG?!" _

"_**Men**__ are not supposed to be __**pretty**__, what the hell?" I looked at her incredulously as I grabbed both of her wrists with one hand and held them over her head. "Men are supposed to be __**Hot**__," I kissed her throat "__**Sexy**__," chin "__**Handsome**__," left eye "not…" nose "__**pretty**__." I said with a grimace._

_She laughed even more at my explanation._

"_Release me NOW! Or you'll be sorry" she challenged me._

"_I'll take my chances" I winked at her._

_She eyed me for a second as if contemplating something. Suddenly, out of nowhere she attacked my mouth with hers. To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the year. As the kiss grew in its intensity, my hands released her wrists, grabbing her hair with one hand while the other made its way from her neck to her waist. My hands immediately reacting as if they had mind of their own, roaming along her perfect body. I let out a moan when I felt her little hands travel from my chest down to my stomach, making my heart beat increase and my mind go crazy with that taste of her in my tongue and her sweet scent swirling in my lungs. She started tugging the hem of my shirt, trying to take it off unsuccessfully. I decided to help her, I leaned away and got rid of it in a second, after that she made us roll so she could be on top of me, straddling me on the couch. Fucking excellent, I thought as my hands finally got a grip of her perfect ass and push her against my erection. _

_Yeah, I have noticed her ass before. _

_My girl was perfect from head to toe. _

_Her hands went immediately to my hair -by now I knew she liked to have a hold of it while kissing- tugging it to bring my face even closer to hers, our lips searching each other fervently as she started grinding against me, our chests heaving with their erratic breath and I could feel __**it**__ waking up. _

_Junior was getting pretty excited too soon. _

_I started to feel her up, her fucking noises and amazing kisses turning me on and making me dizzy with lust. My hands traveled upwards, over her waist and all the way up her ribs. One of my hands went under her shirt and I felt her tremble under my touch when my thumbs grazed the swell of her breasts. Moaning my name over my mouth sending shivers down __**my**__ body, hearing her say my name like that. She was so beautiful and sexy I needed more and more of her._

"_Bella…" I started to say, but she hushed me with another deep kiss. "So… beautiful…" I whispered in her ear and she brought my mouth back to hers. Her tongue doing wonders at fucking my with my brain._

"… _and the answer is… MARTIN LUTHER KING!..." I heard the host from the TV say._

"_See… I am always right." She whispered seductively against my lips and I smiled at her._

_Then she was gone. I opened my eyes, confusion running through my mind when I saw her putting her hoodie on and grab her purse._

_What the hell?_

"_Where are you going?" I asked bewildered._

_She came back, leaned down and gave me a chaste kiss on my lips_

" _I said you'll be sorry" She winked playfully at me._

_After a few moments trying to get my bearings, I finally got out of my daze. _

"_Jezebel" I sneered at her with mock accusation on my eyes and she laughed at my expression. _

_God I loved that sound._

"_Sorry, gotta go, I have classes in the morning. See ya tomorrow?" She asked then a little unsure, feeling a little guilty about my new found dilemma that's was threatening to come out of my jeans._

_I shrugged._

"_I'll think about it" I said nonchalantly as I returned my eyes to the TV._

_She laughed and kissed me again, this time lingering a little bit. _

_Not helping with my dilemma. _

"_See ya, pretty boy" She whispered against my lips and I threw her a dirty look before she was out. _

_God, she was stubborn._

_And I loved that too._

_Damn, I was falling hard and fast._

After washing my dishes I went straight into my bedroom, ignoring the room before mine. It has been 4 years since I played and I don't think I'll ever play again. Entering to my bedroom I stripped myself, to my boxers and threw myself on the large bed. No bothering about brushing my teeth or following my usual night routine. I just wanted sleep to take over. As I laid in bed I started to scan the room and stopped to stare at the book on her bedside table.

Where she left it.

I know I said that I stopped doing things that reminded me of her, and I did. But I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of her stuff, or to storage them. I couldn't, the pain in my chest grew exponentially for even thinking about it. I fisted my pillow with both hands and put it harshly over my face. How could I? Her stuff, her clothes -even though they don't smell like her anymore- are reminders of what we had, they are the living proof that she is out there somewhere, that it wasn't a dream. Not that I'll ever doubted of course, something as beautiful couldn't be a product of my imagination, but those things are proof that something, better than god itself was in my life. Of course, until I decided to fuck it.

Worst part is, I don't even know how it happened.

_My hands were covered in blood. I wasn't registering what was going on around me. I could hear people in the background, some of them yelling at me, others trying to talk some sense into me but I wasn't listening. I was kneeled on the floor, staring at the door where she had been not long ago. Alice had tried to go after her… tried to calm her down but she just hugged herself and stepped away from her. Then she stared at me one more time. The pain, hurt, deception and disbelief clear in her eyes, but most of all… betrayal, along with more pain. _

_Then she left. _

_And I lost it._

_I could still hear crying, sobbing, hushed voices and screaming in the background._

"_GET OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Alice screamed._

"_Son… Edward… are you listening?" Dad asked worriedly "Edward, I need take a look at your wounds. Emmet, let him go. I think it's OK now." I didn't realize till then that someone was holding me still._

"_Edward how could you?" Alice scolded me. "Fucking idiot what were you fucking thinking?!" _

"_Alice… now is not the time" Mom sobbed._

"_SO WHEN'S THE TIME? HUH?" Alice screeched "Sorry mom but he deserves this and more. Seriously Edward, congratulations, you just won the Master's Douche title in one morning. What the HELL WERE YOU THINKING! AND IN YOUR WEDDING'S DAY? SERIOUSLY? HOW FUCKED UP ARE YOU?!" Alice was in hysterics now._

"_Edward… please son, I need to know if any bones are broken, please… undo your fists." Dad's eyes tried to find mines but I kept looking at the open door._

"_I hope you burn in hell" Alice spat harshly._

"_Alice… please…" Jasper whispered._

_Her eyes… her __**eyes**__. I saw them, she was afraid of me… she didn't trust me anymore. _

_What happened? _

_WHAT DID I FUCKING DO?! _

_I still don't understand. This morning I woke up to a horrible migraine and felt Bella beside me against my back. At that moment I only thought it weird, as she told me she would spend the night at Alice's as the rule was that the groom wasn't supposed to see the bride the night before until the wedding. I had tried to turn to her but… God, I couldn't move yet because of my fucking migraine. I had hoped it would pass soon though, since I didn't wish to have a hangover on my wedding day, but right then… everything was dizzy so I went back to sleep._

_A while later, I started to gain conscious again, I wasn't as dizzy and was more aware of my surroundings, that's when I felt that something was off. She wasn't as warm, and I couldn't smell her strawberry shampoo. _

_Odd. _

_I decided to wake her up with soft kisses as she liked it, but when I turned over I was met with strawberry blonde hair. _

_I quickly sat up and froze on the spot, at the same time the covers fell from my chest and I realized I was also naked._

_**What the fuck?**_

_I started to panic as realization settle in, eyes going wide and my mind running a mile per hour trying to remember what happened last night. My hands started to tremble violently, my breathe coming out in shattered spasm. At that second the door to the bedroom opened, my head turned in its direction so fast I thought it would fall. _

"_Good morning sunshine!" Bella beamed at me, but her smile faded fast at the expression on my face. Frowning she took a step closer. "Edward? What's wro-" but she stopped short when something moved beside me, her eyes zeroed in that direction, her frown deepening with confusion on her face, then… her eyes went wide when she realized what or __**who**__ it was._

_She gasped. _

I woke up abruptly, panting and sweating to a dark room. Sheets scrambled between my legs on my large cold bed.

Alone.

I closed my eyes, only to see hers. They were full of pain… I made that.

It was my fault.

I cried myself to sleep.

Again.

**Author's Note: Soooooooooo, what do you think? You like? You hate? Do you have any suggestions? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW! I am new at this so I need you advice and opinion ;) Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec1991**


	2. Chapter 2: Forever

**The original chapter has been edited because FFN thought it was too steamy which I think is bullshit. Anyway, I guess we'll have to use our imagination!**

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><p><strong>WHAAT? 100+ ALERTS? I am seriously overwhelmed guys! thank you so much for the ones who reviewed!<strong>

**When I read your reviews I got so excited that I started to write again... sooo I finished earlier than I thought, and here is ch.2 in advance as a christams gift!**

**see you at the bottom!**

**I don't own anything... all characters belong to SM.**

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><p>Chapter 2. Untitled.<p>

"_**Untitled" – Simple Plan**_

_And I can't stand the pain__  
><em>_And I can't make it go away__  
><em>_No I can't stand the pain__How could this happen to me?__  
><em>_I've made my mistakes__  
><em>_got nowhere to run__  
><em>_the night goes on__  
><em>_as I'm fadin' away__  
><em>_I'm sick of this life__  
><em>_I just wanna scream__  
><em>_How could this happen to me?__Everybody's screamin'__  
><em>_I try to make a sound but no one hears me__  
><em>_I'm slippin' off the edge__  
><em>_I'm hangin' by a thread__  
><em>_I wanna start this over again__So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered__  
><em>_And I can't explain what happened__  
><em>_And I can't erase the things that I've done__  
><em>_No I can't_

As I said before I don't really sleep anymore, or "have peaceful sleeps" would be more appropriate. How could I? I try of course, especially because it makes me forget and I can pretend that everything is fine, that that day never happened and that she is with me.

I would dream about her, about our now impossible future, but then I'll wake up and realize that I am actually living a nightmare.

Nightmares are pretty common in my life too. Usually they would start with me chasing after her, crossing that damn door and run in her direction. But I never find her. I just keep running and running on a deserted street that's not even mine. When I realize I am lost, panic will start to rise up in my body and my heart rate increases. I would start to hyperventilate and my knees would give in.

I am afraid, cold, and alone, but it's not because I am lost that I am afraid, I am afraid because I can't find her. I am not cold because of the weather, I am cold because she is not there to keep me warm, and I am alone. She is gone. That's when I would wake up screaming, sweating and panting.

So, whether it was a dream or a nightmare, I would never win. Both will make me realize what I lost.

And still, dreams were better than reality.

It was only 8 in the morning when I opened the door to the clinic –coffee in hand- before anyone else had arrived. As always.

I look at my schedule for the day and see that thankfully, I was almost full. I won't have much time for my own thoughts.

My first appointment was at 9:30 am. Fuck me. I still had an hour and a half to kill time.

After returning the binder to its place on Heidi's desk, I head to my office to prepare for the day. I grab my doctor's coat from the hanger at the back of my office's door and put it on. Then, go into my private bathroom inside my office to wash my hands. Going through the motions, not really thinking about what I am doing, I am on autopilot or some shit like that.

Numb again.

While rubbing my hands with soap, I see blood coming out of the faucet.

_Fists. _

_My fists flying around. Breaking, smashing, throwing everything my hands could reach, the floor, walls, doors, vases, picture frames… I could feel as the glass cut through my skin. But I didn't mind about that kind of pain. Sure, it hurt like a mother fucker but there was another kind of pain that was threatening to end me. And I couldn't make it go away. No matter what I tried, I couldn't overshadow that kind of pain._

_This pain was worse. This pain scarred my soul and left me breathless. I couldn't get enough oxygen into my lungs, so they started to burn. My head was spinning, nothing was making sense. If it wasn't for the intensity of it, I would have thought I was having a sick mother fucking nightmare. _

_But I wasn't. I never knew so much pain could be inflicted to one person alone, and it wasn't even physically, so I could do nothing to remedy it._

_And I was a good fucking Doctor._

_What had I done?_

_What just happened?_

_WHAT DID I FUCKING __**DO**__?_

_Her eyes hunted me. _

_That look, I couldn't erase it from my mind._

_I could hear screaming in the distance._

"_EDWARD! EDWARD! FUCK MAN CALM DOWN!" Jasper screamed at me._

"_IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU!" Alice glared screeching at me._

"_EMMET DO SOMETHING! HE IS GONNA HURT HIMSELF!" Mom cried._

"_BELLA!" I screamed when I felt someone get a hold of me._

"_CALL DAD!" Emmet said struggling "Maybe he can give him a sedative or some shit."_

"_LET ME GO… I NEED TO FIND HER!... EXPLAIN!" I begged._

"_Edward, dude… calm down. You are not going to solve anything being like this. Give her time." Jasper tried to reason with me._

_But I wasn't listening I didn't want to listen to them. I wanted __**her**__. I __**needed**__ her._

"_Bella…" I sobbed as I kneeled on the floor, staring at the door which she just walked out. _

_She left. My pretty girl… she left._

I was brought out of my musings by a tap on my door. I looked up from my desk to find Dad popping his head through it.

"Hello son, can I come in?" He asked calmly.

I motioned for him to come in.

As he sat, I saw how he discretely gave me a once over. To check if I was ok, I guess, he knows what yesterday meant to me.

I was being a complete asshole to my whole family. I didn't return their calls, never looked for them, made them come over to my place every once in a while to see if I was ok. I knew they worried about me and they just tried to help me pass this. But I didn't want their help. I deserved the hell I was living.

Once, Jasper even suggested me to start dating again. To see what else was on the market, to release some tension.

I left him a black eye.

When dad decided there was nothing physically wrong with me, he talked again.

"We missed you last Sunday at brunch." He said.

I didn't know why they still insist. I haven't been at brunch for 4 years and they still invite me and say they miss me. They should be used by now.

I shrugged. I didn't have anything to say.

"Will you come this weekend? Your mother would love it if you came." He pleaded.

I gave the same answer, "I'll see." no compromising myself.

Dad sighed. I knew he wanted to talk to me about something. The brunch thing was an excuse as it was Thursday. He could have told me that they missed me on Monday. He was just making some small talk for whatever he wanted to say. As long as my family was healthy, I didn't give a fuck about anything else he had to say.

And I knew they were, Alice and Jasper were already expecting their first baby. They got married 2 years ago. As for Rose and Emmet, they have been married for 6 years, but had been having trouble conceiving. Four years ago I would be giving Emmet a hard time for this, but I am not funny anymore, so I just silently support them. Also, I know Rose is having a hard time because of this, but she is young, I'm sure everything will be fine.

Dad cleared his throat bringing me out of my musings again, - did I already mention that I tend to go numb and lose myself in my own thoughts?- he took a deep breath and stared at me. I just looked back at him, not really interested. He started to talk, but I wasn't listening. I was numb again. I just wanted my first patient to arrive so I could put on my fake smile for the children and be distracted for a while.

"Edward!" Dad yelled bringing out of my musings. Again.

"Sorry… you were saying?" I motioned for him to continue.

He stared at me dead in the eye and sighed exasperatedly.

"Edward, son… you can't continue like this."

I suppressed a groan, here it comes again. Jesus, fuck off already!

"Edward don't do that!... Damn it! Just listen to me for one minute… Son, life's too short to continue like this… you are almost 30… I've been thinking about retiring in a few years and you'll have to take over the clinic."

"Dad… please." I protested.

"It was your dream, remember?" He continued ignoring my protests. Sadness is clear in his voice. "Expand the clinic make it into a small hospital for children? You need to reconsider this life you are living… Enough is enough… it's not healthy... and it is not going to take you anywhere, you have missed so much already. What happened to your other goals?"

I didn't answer. I didn't want to talk about this.

He hesitated, thinking about his next words carefully.

"Son… you know she'll never come back… Right?" I started to shake my head. I didn't want to hear it. "Edward, wait, listen to me-"

But I didn't, I stood up and went to open the door for him.

"I have an appointment in 10 minutes" I spat.

He stood up, sighed and held the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle finger. After 5 endless seconds he looked back at me, more sadness in his eyes if that was possible.

"You know Edward, at first… when your mother told me what happened, before I tended your wounded fists, I was disappointed in you. I thought your mother and I had raised you better than that… but now… I am just sorry for you… Yes, you made a mistake but you should learn from it and move on. You have paid for it enough. This is not you it has been four years for fuck sakes!" He never cursed.

"She left you because you screwed up, not because she didn't love you or because you weren't good enough. If she could see you now… I know she wouldn't like what you have become, this is not the man she fell in love with. But I have faith, your mother and I have faith… that you'll overcome your demons and guilt otherwise… we didn't do our job as parents. You are strong enough son. We are here for you."

He became quiet while I processed what he had just said.

"Edward, we don't want to lose another son."

With that he walked out.

"Dr. Cullen, your next patient is here" Heidi said handing me a file.

I opened the file to read little Vanessa Wolf's medical history. She was the sweetest girl I've ever seen. She and her brother Seth came here a lot, they both had weak immune systems so they get sick pretty often. Poor kids.

I put my happy doctor's mask on. I had to smile for my next patient, even though I knew it wouldn't reach my eyes.

Emily, Vanessa's mom walked into the examination room with her 3 years old and very sick looking daughter on her arms. It broke my already shattered heart. She looked terrible. Emily smiled worriedly at me, concern for her daughter clear on her face.

"Hello Mrs. Wolf," I said politely. "By the look of things she had a relapse, am I correct?"

"Yeah, I told her not to walk barefoot on the house, but she never listens." She complained.

I took a hold of Vanessa and laid her on the examination table, tickling her a little on her stomach to try and make her feel better. She giggled. I smiled a genuine smile at her.

"So, little Miss I-do-what-I-want-and-don't-listen-to-mommy, can you please tell what are you feeling?"

"My head hurts." She pouted.

I could see her eyes were glazed so I put a hand on her forehead. She was warm. I took her temperature with the digital thermometer.

102 F°, she had a fever.

"What about your throat, does it hurt too?" She nodded. "What about your arms and legs? Are they sore?" She nodded again.

I continued with the examination, made her a prescription and suggested something for her throat.

"If the fever continues after three days call me. But with the medicines I gave her she should be better by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen, I'll go and get them now."

"You're welcome call me if you need anything." I rubbed Vanessa's cheek lightly with my fingers. "Get well beautiful… and do what mommy says, ok?" She nodded "Good, now… you want a lollypop?" I asked.

I smiled when her eyes widened and nodded furiously. Headache forgotten it seemed. We were on the hall by the reception by now.

"Heidi, could you please give this little princess a lollypop? She was pretty good today."

After Heidi gave Vanessa her pink lollypop, Emily thanked me again and left. It was lunch time now so I headed for the lunch room. But before I could enter I heard dad over the phone in his office. He was talking to mom.

"He's _fine_ Esme, stop worrying." Dad said, trying to ease mom. I knew they were talking about me.

"No… …I don't think so, it's been a while since he had an episode… …I don't think it'll happen again, well at least one like that… …I don't know, I tried to suggest it to him but as always he wasn't listening, plus I don't think it'll help if his heart is not in it, and I don't think it will… …Esme, no matter how good Dr. Williams is it won't help if he doesn't go willingly…"

I had enough. I turned around and headed out of the clinic, I wasn't even hungry so I decided to go for a walk.

A shrink. They wanted me to see a shrink, what the hell? Don't they get it? I wasn't crazy, I wasn't even alive so how could I be crazy?

I didn't realize where I was heading until I was in front of it. Tim Hortons. I must have an automatic button or something. This would happen a lot, when I went numb I would usually come here, it was as if I had a pull here. Maybe because of all the time we spend here, I don't know.

I ordered my always and sat where always. Very creative.

While taking a zip from my coffee, I saw a young woman come into the shop with a little girl next to her. The woman was holding her daughters hand while they waited in line. She asked the girl if she wanted anything.

"Do you want anything sweetheart?"

"Mmmmmm… a brownie!" The girl said excitedly, her mom laughed.

"Ok, but you'll have to pay for it" The mother said, teasing her daughter.

"But mommy, I don't have money." The girl pouted.

"Well… let me think…" She tapped her chin with one finger. "I know! If you give me one _big kiss,_ I'll get you a brownie" She smiled at her daughter, who beamed at her mother's proposal and stood on her toes while her mother kneeled to give her a peck on the cheek.

"That was _not_ a big kiss!" The mother accused mockingly at her daughter. "C'mon, you can do better. Give me one like the ones you give daddy." She said wriggling her eyebrows.

The girl giggled and gave her mother another kiss making a popping sound

"That's better" The mother smiled giving her one in return.

When the mother stood up, she caught me staring at their little game and gave me a smile. I "smiled" back and looked away.

Children. The real reason I became a pediatrician more than following my father's steps. I could have been a big surgeon, my profile was perfect for it but I just loved children. I used to be a happier person you know? I would play with them and a child's giggle would bright my day even more. Even before I met her I dreamed of becoming a father. Fuck, I already even had the name for my first boy. I always have wanted kids, lots of them, but now those dreams where that, just dreams. Not possibilities anymore.

Besides, even **if** it was a possibility, who would want a fuck-wit like me as a father?

_After the jeopardy night, I knew Bella and I were ready for the next level of our relationship. What happened in the couch proved how badly I wanted her and I knew she wanted me too. _

_The way her eyes looked at me, lust, passion and something else make me want her even more. She trusted me, I trusted her. We were perfect I knew falling for my pretty girl would be easy. _

_And I couldn't wait. _

_Who was I kidding? I was pretty sure I already was. 3 weeks together, that's all it took. Well, at least that's what I told to myself, but I had a suspicion that it had been less. Since the first moment I saw her, when I bumped into her 5 weeks ago, my heart knew what my mind couldn't register yet. _

_So on Saturday night I took her out to dinner at a small restaurant that I loved, but it was nothing fancy. Café Crepe. We were walking down Queen St. hand in hand like the world around us didn't matter. _

"_Oh my god! I love this place!" She said excitedly._

"_**Finally **__we agree on something." I laughed._

"_I come here often, how didn't I see you before?" She asked._

"_I am a doctor, I am supposed to be healthy, remember?... I just come here when I am happy." I said teasingly in a sing song voice and kissed her shoulder. _

_She blushed. Yes! I loved her fucking blush._

"_I don't think a little bit of sugar will kill you." She said ignoring my comment about she making me happy, but I could see the tugging at the corner of her lips, a smile trying to make its way there._

"_Maybe, I guess I'll start coming more often then," I said as I opened the door to the café for her. "But only if you come with me." I said hopefully kissing her fingers and then bringing her hand to my chest making her blush even harder. She held my gaze, there was something there I couldn't decipher. After a few seconds, when she saw whatever she was looking for in my eyes, she beamed at me._

"_Deal." _

_After dinner we headed to my place, there was a friends' marathon and as it was our favorite show, we decided to watch it together. _

_It was awesome. _

_I have never heard her laugh so hard, and I laughed with her. Her laughter made things to my insides. It was the best feeling, and of course, she was beautiful… my pretty girl._

"_Hey pretty boy, can you pass me the bottle please?" She asked, her eyes never leaving the screen._

_I threw her a dirty look, but passed her the bottle anyway. I guess pretty boy would be my nickname for her now, and as the pussy man I had become, I would accept it without complains. She had me wrapped around her tiny little finger. _

"_I like Emma for a baby girl." She said after she poured herself more whine. We were watching the episode when Rachel gives birth._

"_You do? I don't, I think it's too common now." I said_

"_That's true, but I still think it's a pretty name."_

"_I think yours is prettier" I said smiling at her._

"_Isabella?" She asked, scrunching her nose a little in disgust._

"_I like Isabella too, but I was actually referring to Marie." I said, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious._

"_What for a boy?"_

_At that I stiffen a little bit. She noticed._

"_If you feel uncomfortable by this, we can change subject… I'm not trying to imply anything, I mean… I like you… a lot… I don't even know… if you want children… fuck, I'm not meaning with me… I just-" She stammered nervously, so I cut her off._

"_Isabella, it's not that… Don't worry, I am not uncomfortable by this, and I do want children someday" I said trying to catch her gaze, when I did I continued talking._

"_It's just that… there is something I haven't told you…" I pulled at my hair and stared at her hand on her lap, I took it in mine._

"_What is it then?" She asked curiously._

_I remained quiet, thinking how to approach this._

"_Oh my god!" She suddenly gasped. I lifted my head and was confused by her expression "Are you?... You know?... not able to… I mean, it's Ok… don't be ash-" She started to say, but I cut her short when I understood what she meant._

"_OH! NO!" I said hurriedly "No, don't worry about __**that**__" I said, embarrassment creeping up my face at her thoughts. "It works perfectly fine, you'll see… FUCK!… sorry I didn't mean to say that… Shit!" I could feel my cheeks starting to burn, she was amused by this. "What I mean is… the other night you __**felt **__it. So we are fine there… Damn it!" I face palmed myself at my stupid rambling._

_She just laughed and took my hand away from my face and held it in hers. I brought it to my lips and kissed her fingers, then let our hands drop on my lap next to my other hand which was also holding hers, then I looked at her eyes._

"_Remember I told you about my brother and sister?"_

"_Yeah, Emmet and Alice, right?"_

"_Yes, well… I might have omitted something on that conversation… or someone."_

_She looked back at me, confusion in her eyes._

"_I was born a twin." I told her slowly, her eyes widened a little bit but she remained quiet, she could tell there was more to the story._

"_When we were 15, our parents took us to visit grandma, she lives in Montreal. When we were halfway there it started to rain, it was November so it wasn't cold enough for snow, but it was enough for ice. The car slipped… He died on the impact."_

"_Oh my god Edward... I'm so sorry." She said concern in her voice._

"_It's Ok, it was a long time ago. I guess I didn't tell you because I didn't want to burden you with tragic family stories."_

"_Edward, it's Ok… don't feel like you have to edit or keep things from me. I am here Ok? I know we have only been together for a few weeks, but, we are together in this, Ok? I mean, I… like you… a lot. I feel like I have known you forever. I wanna know this kind of things, I want to __**know**__ you." She gave me a half smile and touched my cheek._

_I smiled back._

_After a few seconds she talked again._

"_What was his name?" She said softly._

"_Andrew" I whispered._

"_Andrew…" She mused. "I like it." She gave me a tentative smile. I beamed at her._

"_Thank you" I said and gave her a deep long kiss._

Andrew, I haven't thought about him in a while. I remember the whole family was devastated. Before her, I think mom thought the real reason I was so lonely was because I never got over his death. Maybe it was true. I don't know. What I do know is that she brought me back to life. Andrew and I had been inseparable, and as all twins tend to be, we were the living mirror of each other. We did everything together, went to school together, get in trouble together, and played together. He will always convince me to help him in all his pranks against Emmet and Alice. He was the leader.

Yes, I still miss him. And I know what my self-desolation must be doing to mom. She was losing another son.

I know, I am an asshole.

I checked the clock on my phone. I was running out of time, so I stood up and walked out of the coffee shop and started the walk back to the clinic.

While I walked I felt something bugging me at the back of my mind. I knew it had to do with what dad told me in the morning, but I didn't want to dwell on it. Now it was not the time, I'll leave it for when I was alone at night.

I walked into the clinic and found mom on the reception talking to Heidi. Probably asking her where I was.

"Hi mom." I greeted her as I entered the clinic.

"Oh! Hi sweety!" She was relieved. Yeah, she was worried about me.

I kissed her cheek.

"What are you doing here? Did you come to see dad?" I asked politely even though I knew the answer.

"Well, actually honey I came here to see you. I haven't heard from you in ages. I tried to call you yesterday…" She smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, sorry mom" I said ignoring the comment about her call. "I am kinda busy right now, my lunch break already finished and I have a patient coming in any minute now." I apologized.

She looked disappointed. Can a shattered heart be more… shattered? Yeah, I guess it can.

"What about I call you later? We can go and have dinner if you want?" I offered feeling guilty. I knew I owed her at least this much.

"You promise?" She was unsure.

"I promise. I'll call you when I'm finished." I promised.

"Ok."

She grabbed her purse, kissed me on the cheek and walked out of the clinic.

Crap.

Well, what the fuck.

I made a reservation for 2 at one of her favorite restaurants and texted her the details.

**Ici Bistro. 8pm. Works for you? -E**

**Perfect! See you there. –M**

I continued with the rest of my day, attending sick children and pretending that nothing was missing in my life. Being a doctor was the only thing I was good at. I was a natural as my father, so I didn't require much concentration and it helped me to take my mind out of things.

Dad didn't bother me again, and I was thankful for that. I was saying goodbye to my last patient for the day when he came to say goodbye.

"I am leaving son, have a nice time with your mother. Tell her to text me when to pick her up."

"That won't be necessary I'll drop her off myself. Don't worry."

"Thank you, see you tomorrow." He said sincerely.

"You're welcome, take care."

I walked back into my office, sat on my desk and let out a loud sigh. It was 7:30, I needed to get going or I'll be late for my dinner with mom. I rubbed my eyes with the heel of my hands and pulled at my hair. I can't believe I was doing this. I just wanted to go home and sleep, to forget that I even exist. I sighed again. Life ain't that easy.

I scanned my desk and my eyes fell on the framed photo of my crazy family and her. It was taken the day I "introduced" her to my family. A kidnapping by their part was more likely. She looked so cute on my pajamas, sitting on my lap, my arms around her waist. She looked so happy, content, that my family had accepted her so easily. I remember her mortifying expression when fucking Emmet dragged her out of my house.

_I woke at the sound of a camera snapping. _

_I groggily opened my eyes and was met with an angel smiling down at her phone. I threw my arm around her and dragged her down to me. She giggled._

"_What are you doing?" I asked against her neck after clearing my throat, I still was half asleep._

"_Just saving some memories" She smiled at me "you are beautiful while sleeping pretty boy, you know that?" She asked innocently. Her eyes were sparkling._

_I laughed "Not as beautiful as you I am sure" I said against her throat. I took a deep breath, inhaling her sweet scent and started to kiss my way down her neck stopping at her chest. She sighed._

_Last night we had made love for the first time. It started innocently, just kissing, reassuring and comforting after our conversation about Andrew, but things started to get heavier and well, we ended at my room._

**[Lemony part left to imagination]**_  
><em>

_"_Edward… take me to bed." She had said.__

_I didn't need to be told twice._

_So now we were lying here together, on this perfect Sunday morning, holding each other in our little bubble. After making love again, we decided to have a late breakfast. I tossed her one of my pajama bottoms and a clean shirt, pulling myself on some old sweats. After lending her my toothbrush I brushed my own teeth and together headed downstairs to prepare us some breakfast. _

_While coming down the stairs Bella jumped onto my back, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms on my neck. _

"_Piggy Back ride!" She giggled._

_I just laughed at her she was so full of life. And I loved her for that. _

_Yeah, I said it I was in love with Bella. At this realization I turned my head and kissed her._

"_What was that for?" She asked._

"_What? Can't a man kiss his girlfriend?" I asked half serious half teasing._

_She beamed at me and kissed me back. It was the first time I have called her my girlfriend out loud._

_After we broke our kiss, I continued our way down with a giggling Bella on my back, but while passing my living room I stopped dead on my tracks._

_What. The. Fuck?_

_There, in the middle of my living room stood Emmet, with a devilish look and a smug smile, next to him was a beaming Alice bouncing up and down, next to her was Jasper with an amused expression on his fucking ugly face._

_You've got to be kidding right?_

_Bella immediately let go of me and I dropped her to the ground. She hid behind me._

"_What the fuck-" I started to say but I was cut short by a squealing Alice._

"_Hi! You must be Bella! Right? I am Alice, Edward's sister!"_

_Bella just mumbled a "Nice to meet you" and grabbed at my arm for dear life, I'm sure she was scared shitless by this assault. Her eyes were wide and she was trying to hide her nipples that were visible under my shirt by crossing her other arm across her body. _

_I was going to kill someone. _

"_Alice…" I groaned "what are you guys doing here?" I complained._

"_We are here to pick you up." Emmet answered for her matter-of-factly._

"_What?" I asked confused._

"_It's Sunday, brunch? Mom told us to come and pick you guys up, she demanded to bring Bella or don't come back at all. She gave me permission to use full force if necessary." Emmet explained. _

"_What do you mean by full force?" Bella asked nervously._

_Emmet just grinned at her._

_This won't be good, I knew that smile._

_Out of nowhere, Emmet stalked to us, grabbed Bella and threw her over his shoulder._

"_WHAT THE FUCK?!" Bella screamed, she didn't know if to laugh or to be truly frightened by the fact that a big guy she didn't know was carrying her out of her boyfriend's house._

"_EMMET! Put her down!" I followed after him, Alice and Jasper tagging along, fury starting to build up my body. _

"_EDWARD!" Bella looked at me incredulous._

_It was when I felt the cold stones from the path that lead to my entry door that I realized I was out of my house, barefoot and wearing only my sweats. _

_Fucking Emmet, he was going to pay for this._

"_Emmet! What the fuck do you think you are doing?!"_

_But he didn't listen to me, instead he walked to his jeep that was parked at the entry of my garage. He pulled the passenger door open and sat Bella on it. By now she was just staring at everyone wide eyed._

_After Emmet buckled her up I groaned and gave in, I didn't stand a chance against that fucking troll, so I climbed on the back of his jeep with a cracking up Jasper and a giggling Alice. I just threw daggers at them. _

_Did I already mention I was only wearing sweat pants?_

_Yeah, I was SO fucking PISSED and I haven't even taken my morning piss. And Bella? Well, she wasn't really on a better condition than me. She had now both arms over her chest._

_Emmet got into his side behind the wheel and turned to Bella. She stared back at him, shock on her face._

"_Ready to meet the in-laws?" Emmet asked wriggling his eyebrows._

_Bella's eyes went bigger that the fucking CN tower._

_He guffawed at Bella's face. She was blushing a thousand shades of red, mortification clear on her face at the realization that she was going to meet my whole fucked up family…_

_On my pajamas._

_Kill. Me. Now._

I made my way into Ici Bistro and found mom already there sitting at a small table on the corner of the restaurant.

"Hi Mom, I am sorry I'm late, traffic." I kissed her on the cheek.

"It's Ok honey, I'm just glad you came." She answered.

Esme Cullen was the most compassionate and lovable person you'll ever meet. She would always seek for the well being of others, and being a mom was what she was born to be. As I knew I was lucky to have her as my mom, I also knew I didn't deserve her.

"Did you order yet?" I asked, trying to make a conversation and be normal for a couple of hours for her.

"No, I haven't. I was waiting for you."

I nodded and took a look at the menu.

The waitress came to take our order. She smiled at me and acted a little bit too more friendly than necessary.

I ignored her.

Mom ordered the same, the Chicken Suprême Beatrix and I asked for the Lobster Bisque & Shrimp Frite.

"Can I also have a glass of your finest wine please?"

"Of course sir, anything else?" she asked looking at me and ignoring mom. For fucks sake! What was wrong with her?

"I'll have a glass too." Mom said curtly.

After the waitress brought our wines mom talked again.

"So, how have you been?" she asked tentatively.

"I've been good, thanks, you?" I said nonchalantly. Trying to stir the conversation away from me, but I should have known better.

"You and I both know that's not true." She said looking me straight in the eye.

Straight to the point, as always.

I know it must have been obvious, even if mom weren't as observant as she is but I couldn't help lying. I didn't want to look weak, especially in front of her, I have put her through a lot enough already.

I sighed. "What do you want me to say then? I don't want you to worry about me, you don't have to, I'm fine."

She gave me a look that said she didn't buy it.

"Ok, I'm not perfect, but I am fine. I just need time." I said as I evaded her eyes.

"Like another four more years?" She spat.

I flinched.

"Sorry honey, I didn't mean it to say it that way." She apologized.

We remained quiet for a few minutes.

Then she talked again, thankfully changing the topic of conversation.

For now.

"Alice and Jasper went to see your dad yesterday they know the sex of the baby." A small smile spread on her face while she looked dreamingly through the window. "It's a girl." Her smile grew wider.

To my own surprise, I smiled too.

A genuinely smile.

Mom's eyes sparkled.

"Alice must be thrilled. Now she'll have her own real life doll to play makeup and makeovers with." Mom laughed at my small joke.

"Yeah, you could say that."

Our food arrived and we ate in comfortable silence, only commenting a few times about the food and about our day. I knew I didn't have to keep up a real conversation with her. She was just happy to be with me.

I was a horrible son.

After 15 minutes, she put her fork down and cleared her throat. Shit, this wasn't good.

"Edward, I wanted to talk to you about something." She said slowly but firm. I had no way out of this.

"Is this about the shrink?" I asked feigning indifference.

"How do you know?" She was surprised.

"Dad never closes his office's door at the clinic." I answered matter-of-factly.

"Oh, well… did you give it a thought?" She asked hopefully.

I put my fork down with a loud clank. She flinched.

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. I could feel anger starting to rise up.

"Edward, I'm not implying anything… I'm not saying you are crazy. Your father and I just thought that maybe it'll help you if you talked to someone. Since you don't talk to any of us, maybe you'll want to talk to someone else?"

"And how would that change things exactly? What's done is done. Unless Dr. Williams has a time machine or some fucking shit like that I don't see how talking to him will change anything."

"Edward, just think about it. You are smart, try and see our point of view. Maybe if you talk to someone, it doesn't have to be Dr. Williams, you may start healing. You have no idea how it pains me to see you throw your life away like this." I could see her eyes starting to fill with tears. "You need to get things off your chest, I know you blame yourself for what happen, but you have to forgive yourself. Enough is enough. I know that Bella" I flinched at the mention of her name. "wouldn't like to see you like this. She loved you too, remember? No matter what happened I'm willing to bet she wouldn't want to see you suffering like this for so much time."

I remembered dad saying something like that earlier.

"I don't think so. You didn't see her eyes." I said quietly, staring at the crumbs of the bread I was crushing with my fingers fall onto my plate.

She took my hand over the table, tears falling down on her cheeks and looked at my eyes with sadness and grief on her own.

"I know honey, and I know that that's what haunts you the most." I looked at her quizzically.

"You kept saying that while you where unconscious in the hospital two years ago." She answered my unspoken question.

I looked away.

"I also know you never intended to hurt her like that." At this I couldn't help my tears anymore, I didn't want to talk about this. She rubbed her thumb on the back of my hand, comforting me, I didn't want comfort, so I took my hand away from hers, lowered my gaze and dried my tears with the back of my hand.

We kept quiet for a while, a bunch of thoughts running through my head.

"Mom," I said tentatively after a few minutes. "I know that you worry… I know everybody worries." My voice was starting to shake. "But you all need to understand… no matter how many times I talk to someone, how many times I see a shrink or… how many people I meet, I'll never be whole… I'll never be myself again. When _she_ left, she took everything away with her." I paused, she was starting to get worked up, her tears coming more easily.

"I made my mistakes, and I'll deal with them on my own way. I know what I'm doing and how this will affect me later, but I won't have it any other way." I paused again, that constant burning in my chest coming to full force, I rubbed at it in vain. I never talked about this, but she needed to understand.

"I'll forever pay for what I did mom, she trusted me… I betrayed her, don't you get that? She gave herself to me and I betrayed that, I broke every promise that I made her on just one fucking night." I said angrily, I paused to take a deep breath, I was about to lose it again and I didn't want to do it in a public place.

After a moment I continued.

"How can I live with myself… knowing that every dream we shared, every conversation we had… every moment we spend together and every promise I made were for nothing? How can I pretend it didn't happen? I can no longer fulfill those dreams and promises to her, but there is one that I still can, and I will keep that promise no matter what… I'll love her forever mom, no matter what all of you try, I'll never feel the way I feel about her for anyone else. She was my life and she left, because of me." I choked the last part "I'll never forgive myself for what I did."

We kept quiet, dinner forgotten.

After composing myself, I asked for the check and threw a couple of hundred dollar bills on the little carpet, ignoring the card with a phone number on it and told the waitress to keep the change. She smiled back, disappointment on her face.

Sorry, taken.

Mom and I walked to my car, we still haven't said anything else to each other. I opened the door for her, she mumbled a thanks and sat on the passenger seat. I got to the driver's seat and headed to my parents home.

The drive was quiet, I knew she was thinking about our conversation.

I on the other hand was wondering if I'll have a nightmare tonight after the day that I had. I preferred to have a dream, even though the pain later was worse, I still preferred to have those little moments of bliss before reality hit me.

Masochistic much?

"Remember what you told me when you found me crying after Andrew's death?" Mom suddenly asked, surprising me by her question. When I didn't respond she continued.

"You said, _mommy, don't cry, I miss him too but I'm here for you. It will be alright._"

I parked outside the house. My old home.

"Now I tell you the same, Edward, it doesn't have to be like this, I miss her too, you have no idea how much. I loved her too, you know? But I am here for you too, and just as you did, I'll walk with you in this bumpy road and I'll never give up on seeing you smile again. I already lost a son, I won't lose another one."

She kissed my cheek and walked out of the car and into the house.

_We came back to my house after brunch, which lasted more than expected. It was past 6 o'clock when we parked at my garage. I was wearing one of my father shirts and Bella had an old hoodie of mine that was at my old house over her, hiding her predicament as she called it. I laughed at her and she glared back. _

"_Did you enjoy yourself?" I asked nervously._

_My family loved her instantly, and for two people who couldn't be more different she got on with Alice amazingly well. They even had a date for having lunch together the following day. I was a little pissed at that. It meant I wouldn't see her until Thursday. When I complained to Alice she just stuck her tongue out at me._

"_They are crazy, especially Emmet, but they are great people. I really liked them, especially Alice and your mom." She smiled at me._

_I felt like walking on air._

"_You staying tonight?" I asked hopefully after a minute._

_She pretended to think for a few seconds, tapping her finger on her chin._

"_That depends, what do you have to offer?"_

"_Well, aside from this" I pointed to myself, she laughed. "How about I make you my famous macaroni and cheese?" I asked wriggling my eyebrows._

"_Mhmmm… what else?" She teased back, slowly bringing her arms around my waist, my hands find their way to her lower back._

"_Chickflick, your pick." I winked_

"_You sure know how to woo me." She said sarcastically, I rolled my eyes._

"_Stay? Please?" I said, making a puppy sad face._

_The things I had to do for this woman! Puppy faces? Really? When did I become Emmet? _

_Oh yeah! The second she cut my balls and I fell for her._

"_Alright, but only if you stop that!" She laughed grabbing my face with both hands and giving me a soft kiss between my eyebrows._

_Did I just discover a new weapon? _

_I beamed at her. It was her turn to roll her eyes._

"_On one condition though, can I use your shower? I really need one after last night and this morning's workout." She winked at me._

"_Sure. Why don't you take one while I make us dinner?"_

_She kissed me turned around, I slapped her ass "Oh, you are so going to pay for that" she called over her shoulder and headed upstairs to my room. _

"_I'm counting on it!" I laughed._

_Just when I was about to open the fridge, my work phone rang. I groaned, please don't be a patient, please don't be a patient._

"_Dr. Cullen here" I answered._

"_Dr. Cullen?" A woman's voice said._

_Didn't I just say that?_

"_Yes, who is this?"_

"_Oh, Dr. Cullen, sorry to bother you, it's Emily Wolf."_

"_Good evening Mrs. Wolf, don't worry about it, how can I help you?"_

"_It's Seth, I think he has food poisoning, but I am not sure, he keeps throwing up and has a high fever." She said, I could tell she was really worried_

"_How much I asked." Heading upstairs for my bag, I guess I'll have to do a house call._

"_104 f°"_

"_I'll be there in ten minutes." I answered._

"_Thank you so much Dr. Cullen, we'll be waiting, I am sorry for burden you."_

"_Don't worry about it, I'll be there soon." I hang up, went into my closet and changed into normal clothes. Then I went into the bathroom where Bella was still in the shower while she attempted to sing Taylor Swift's Love Story. _

_What the Fuck? Taylor Fucking Swift? Really?_

"_Bella?"_

"_Yeah?" she answered over the noise of the water._

"_A patient just called, I have to make a house call, it won't be more than an hour. Would you be ok until then?"_

"_Of course pretty boy, don't worry and since I won't be having some of your fuckawesome macaroni and cheese because I am so hungry to wait that long, do you want me to order something for us?"_

"_Sure, whatever you want," I said as I headed out of the bathroom. "see you in a bit. Love you!"_

"_Love you too!"_

_I walked out of the bathroom and went to grab m-_

…

_WHAT?! _

_I froze, then and there. _

…

_Did we just? WHAT?_

_DID SHE?_

_I went back to the bathroom and found her poking her head out of the shower stall. Her eyes wide._

_We stared at each other. Not knowing what to do or say._

_Then the most amazing thing happened._

_A big fucking smile, so big I thought it was going to break her pretty little head spreaded over her face. Her eyes were sparkling._

_I ran back to her, not caring about getting myself wet and kissed her. Hard. _

"_I love you." I said, my heart beating so fast I genuinely worried it would explode._

"_I love you too." She said back._

I woke up.

My heart still beating fast and a cold feeling spread over my body.

I turned and reached for her, I needed her warmth.

What was this cold feeling?

But there was no one on her side.

I was confused for a second before reality hit me.

She left.

I let out an agonizing scream.

* * *

><p><strong>Sooooooo, what do you think? are you still with me? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I really need your thoughts!<strong>

**By the way, the part where Emmet drags Bella out of Edward's house, is not totally fiction... something similar happened to a friend... It was soo freaking funny! The only difference was that she was wearing her own pajamas =))**

**you can follow me at tpec1991 for sneak peeks and questions or suggestions!**

**"One More Chance" Official Banner link is on my profile! Go and see! =D**

**thanks again!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	3. Chapter 3: What Hurts The Most

**HEY GUYS! sooo, here is Ch. 3**

**I hope this enlightens you about what went on that day... people have asked when Bella will appear... sooner than you think, be patient ;)**

**also thanks to Sandy4321 for your reviews! they made my day!**

**I don't own anything. Characters belong to SM, I just made their life a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 3. What hurts The Most.<p>

"**What Hurts The Most" – Rascal Flatts**

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
>Even though going on with you gone still upsets me<br>There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
>But that's not what gets me<p>

What hurts the most  
>Was being so close<br>And having so much to say  
>And watching you walk away<br>And never knowing  
>What could have been<br>And not seeing that loving you  
>Is what I was tryin' to do<p>

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
>But I'm doin' It<br>It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
>Still Harder<br>Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
>But I know if I could do it over<br>I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
>That I left unspoken<p>

The alarm rings. It's time to wake up. I am grumpy.

I don't want to wake up.

After last night's nightmare I couldn't go back to sleep and I have a terrible headache after all the crying and sobbing.

I know, I am a pussy.

I don't fucking care.

I get up and go to the bathroom to take my morning piss. After flushing the toilet I wash my hands and brush my teeth. Then, after putting my toothbrush on the glass next to hers I look myself in the mirror.

Fuck, I look like a mess, my eyes are bloodshot, I have dark circles under them and I'm as white as a ghost.

Dad is gonna be thrilled.

I wash my face and head to the closet. I put on some black pants and a red shirt. Maybe the red on it would make my eyes look less... uhm red? I don't think so, but it's worth the try. A couple days ago I wouldn't have given a fuck, but after yesterday's conversation with both of my parents I decided to try and hide my pain a little more.

I know, useless.

Fuck, my head is pounding. I go to my nightstand in search of some advil or aspirin. I kneel in front of it and open the drawer, I take the little box and pop to pills into my mouth, after swallowing them without water I put the box back on the drawer and my eyes land on the little velvet black box.

_It was Christmas morning. _

_I was on my music room playing my guitar, waiting for her to wake up so I could give her my present. _

_I was nervous as fuck._

_Would she think it was too soon? We have only known each other for six months, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her since the moment she bumped into me. _

_Well, not exactly at that moment. But you get the picture._

_I was crazy for her. And for some fucked up reason she was crazy for me too. She was practically living with me know. I had even made room for her clothes in my closet as she had more here that at her place, and as Toronto was a damn freezer right now, we spend all the time we had together cuddling on my bed, or downstairs in front of my fireplace in the living room. We didn't go out much, she was on her winter break and when she didn't have to work at the dinner she'll spend the day here at my place waiting for me to get back from the clinic to "warm her up". Her words, not mine. _

_We were joined at the hip._

_I loved our mornings together, when I wake up for work she would wake up too even though she didn't have to, we will have morning sex, have breakfast together and after kissing her goodbye she'll send me to work as happy as a kid on fucking Disneyland. _

_We always met for lunch at the clinic, everyone loved her at the clinic, my dad would stop whatever he was doing to go and say hi to her, he loved her too, especially when she brought freshly baked cookies with her, and when I was off from work I would pick her up wherever she was –if she wasn't at my place, which was rare- and we would come back home._

_Yeah, life was perfect._

_She was the best thing that has ever happened to me, she was my life and I loved her like I've never loved anyone before and I'll ever do. She was my pretty girl, my forever._

_So now I am here, waiting nervously for her to wake up and give her my gift._

_I was playing Lifehouse's "You and Me" when I felt her wrap her arms around me and sit behind me, burring her face between my shoulder blades. I felt her take a deep breath, inhaling my scent. She says she loves the way I smell. _

_I knew the feeling._

_I stopped playing and turned to her, throwing an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer to me._

"_Merry Christmas pretty girl." I kissed her nose._

"_Merry Christmas to you too pretty boy." She breathed, still a little sleepy._

"_Did you sleep well?"_

"_Yeah, but I didn't like it when I woke up and you weren't there." She pouted teasingly._

"_I'm sorry," I kissed her softly. "You wanna go back to bed?"_

"_No, it's ok… just keep playing I love that song." She smiled._

"_I know." _

_I started to play again, with her resting her pretty head on my back and her arms around my waist._

_When the song ended, I put the guitar on the floor, turned to her and laid us on the couch. She nestled on the Bella spot – I swear, she was made to fit perfectly there, her shoulder under my armpit and her pretty little head under my chin- put her little hand over my chest and I started to play with her hair. She hummed contently. _

"_I love you." I said._

"_I love you more pretty boy." She answered with a smile._

"_That's not true, it's impossible." I said teasingly._

_She lifted her head and searched for my eyes. They were happy._

"_I do." _

_Those were two words I hoped she would be saying soon. _

_In front of an altar of course._

_Damn I had to do this know._

_Shit, here we go._

_I took an encouraging breath before speaking again. My heart beating erratically on my chest, nervous, scared and excited at the same time._

"_Then, if you love me more, you'll have to accept my Christmas gift for you without complaints." I said, smiling widely at her, knowing her reaction beforehand. Her eyes went wide before she made a face._

"_Ughh! Edward Anthony Cullen!" Damn, she wasn't happy... but I knew that would happen. She was the only girl in the world who hated presents. "I told you, no presents!"_

"_Awww, like you didn't get me one." I teased her. _

_And of course she blushed, guilt all over her face._

"_Well, that's different, knowing you… I wouldn't be surprised if you got me a fucking airplane." She said with annoyance but with a ting of playfulness in her voice._

"_Don't worry honey, I threw that idea away when I couldn't decide what color would you prefer." I winked, which earned me a smack on my chest. I caught her hand and kissed her knuckles making her eyes soften a little._

"_I'm just teasing love, I didn't get you anything extravagant… I learned my lesson on your birthday." I said pouting playfully._

"_Who the hell gives his two months girlfriend a brand new car for her birthday?" She said exasperatedly._

"_I said I was sorry!" I cried with fear raising up my body. _

_After yelling at me for about 3 good fucking hours, she didn't talk to me for 4 days and cock blocked me for a week. Yeah, I learned my lesson pretty good. Emmet and Jasper had a fit at my attempts to apologize, saying how sorry they were for me as they had been there too. Rose and Alice could be bitches too when they wanted it, and Emmet and Jasper would be dragging their sorry asses all over Toronto to earn their forgiveness too._

"_Anyway, what's up with you and presents?" I asked curiously but she looked away, ignoring my questioning eyes._

_After a minute of thinking, she answered quietly._

"_You are enough for me. You are beautiful, smart, awesome, incredible and perfect. I have anything to offer, and you giving me presents just put me more at disadvantage." _

_She was on top of me, both of her hands playing with the string of the hood of my sweater. Her eyes down casted as if she was ashamed of meeting my gaze. I grabbed her face with both of my hands and made her face me, but her eyes wouldn't meet mine still._

"_Isabella, look at me…" When she finally did, I continued. "you are perfect the way you are, I don't want anything else, you give me everything just by breathing, I can't imagine anyone being more perfect that you, you are my life…" _

_She started crying quietly and I wiped her tears with the pad of my thumbs. After giving her a small kiss I brought her forehead to mine._

"_I love you, more than anything that I can't imagine spending my life with someone else. A life without you would be meaningless, pointless… I can't have that, you make my life worthwhile." I swallowed, I was getting emotional and I could hear my voice shaking. _

_I leaned away and saw that more tears were falling down her cheeks, a small smile playing on her luscious lips, her gorgeous eyes full of emotion. _

"_I always knew that some part of me was missing, and I used to think that that part went missing when Andrew left but, when I met you… I knew it was only you who was meant to fill that part. You are my soul mate, my other half, my everything… Bella, I honestly wouldn't know how to live without you…" _

_I sat up with her straddling me my waist, I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear and gave her a meaningful kiss. When we parted she looked at me curiously, sensing than something was up and I pulled the box out of my sweater pocket. She gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, her beautiful eyes wide in shock._

"_My pretty girl… please… would you make me the extraordinary honor to marry me?" _

_I opened the little box and presented her the ring. The band was made of white gold, with tiny diamonds around it and on the top, a bigger diamond rested along with two smaller sapphires on each side. It was beautiful, just like her._

_She was quiet, stunned by the ring and my sudden proposal._

"_Bella?" I asked nervously._

"_Oh my god" she whispered. "Are you serious?" She asked not taking her eyes from the ring._

"_I've never been more serious pretty girl." I whispered and she looked up to me._

_She was quiet for another endless minute._

"_Yes." She suddenly said._

"_Yes?" I asked incredulous, my heart racing and threatening to come out of my chest._

"_Yes, I'll marry you pretty boy."_

I closed the drawer with a hard bang and stormed out of the house.

What was wrong with me? I thought I was getting better at controlling my emotions and at not letting them interfere with my day, but these last couple of days had been hard. Was it because of the date? I would usually just break down at nights, before bed if my mind wandered for too long, or after a dream or a nightmare.

After the hospital incident I promised myself I would keep in check during the day, going numb through most of it so it wouldn't happen again. But what was going on? I had seen that box thousands of times, every time I opened the damn drawer, why the sudden PMS?

Fuck it.

I roughly cleared some tears away with my hand.

I would keep in check, I didn't want another breakdown. Those days after the hospital, even though they made Alice talk to me again where a nightmare. My entire family lived practically at my house, mom would cook for me, Alice cleaning and organizing the mess I was living in, Emmet would take me to the gym, Jasper would keep my mind occupied with videogames and easy conversation and dad would come to check on me.

It was driving me nuts.

I appreciated their effort… but seriously, I didn't need babysitters, I just had a bad day that day so I promised them I would try to control my emotions. After a while they stopped breathing over my neck.

Kind of, they still check on me only more subtly.

I stopped at Tim Horton's for a coffee before going to the clinic, while waiting in line I suddenly had that strange feeling of being watched. I looked around but saw no one. Then the girl at the cashier called for me.

"Same as always?" she smiled.

"Yes, thank you." I got my coffee and walked out of the coffee shop.

I arrived at the clinic at 8 am on the dot. As always.

I headed to Heidi's desk to check on my schedule for the day and cursed to myself, I only had two appointments for today.

Fuck.

Lots of time for thinking.

Both were programmed after lunch break, so I headed for my office, put my coat on and sat on my couch. I grabbed the book I was currently reading and lost myself on it.

* * *

><p>Two hours later the phone on my desk rang.<p>

"Yes Heidi?"

"Dr. Cullen, here is a woman with a newborn, she wants a general checkup and to start a medical file with you. Can you do it now?"

"Of course Heidi, let her in."

After I hung up, I leaned down and opened the last drawer and grabbed a new file. After hearing a knock on the door I went to open it.

I was about to say something, but when my eye caught the brunet in front of me I froze.

"Hello." She waved sheepishly, I could tell she was nervous.

I didn't say anything, I went blank. Was this really happening?

"Sorry, I hope you don't mind. If it's too weird for you I can go to Dr. Stanley… it's just that… I know you better, and… I know you are an excellent pediatrician." She was looking at everywhere but me.

When I found my voice I finally answered.

"No, no problem… you just took me by surprise." I said, still astonished by her presence as I haven't seen her in years.

"Sorry, I know it's been a while… I hope you don't mind."

"It's ok, come in."

I went to sit on my desk I could tell my hands were trembling when I took my pen and wrote her name at the top of the file.

"I didn't know you got married." I said, looking intently at the file I was currently writing in.

"Yeah, two years ago."

"So, how have you been? I haven't heard from you in a long time." I said trying to smile a little.

"I've been good, thank you. How about you?"

"I'm ok… thank you. So, I assume Ben is the father?" I asked and she gave me a soft smile.

"Yeah… he looks just like him, right?"

"Yes, he does." I smiled back.

Angela, it was so weird to see her again. After she left, I went to her almost every day pleading for any information she had about her. Even though she was her best friend, she never kicked me out or anything, she just told me she was sorry for what happened and that if she could she would help me, but that she really didn't know anything about where she was. She told me she wasn't even answering Charlie.

Charlie, thank god he was retired and didn't carry his gun anymore. But still, he managed to leave me a black eye, I never hold it against him. I tried to call him too when he went back to Forks, looking for her of course, but he stopped answering about two weeks later. So I went to Forks myself, but she wasn't there and he told me if I came again he wouldn't hesitate in using his old gun again.

After writing Angela's baby's information on the medical file, I took little Erick to the examination room. I took his weight, measured his height and did the general check up. Everything was fine, he was 2 months old and perfect.

After answering Angela some questions about breast feeding and stuff we headed back to the reception, we were saying our goodbyes and I started to hesitate, I couldn't decide if asking or not, did I want to know? Would she know something? It has been 4 years and 3 days, did she finally contact her oldest friend? Surely she must know something, wouldn't she? Would she tell me? Was she happy? Was she with someone else? She deserves to be happy, I tried to tell myself. As long as she was happy, it didn't matter what happened to me.

She sensed my struggling and decided to take me out of my misery.

"Sorry Edward." She said sadly. "I don't know anything about her."

I just stared at her.

I didn't know what to say, so she continued.

"I did try to contact her, but I only received an e-mail a few months after that day telling me she was ok, but that was all. I'm sorry." She said, concern in her eyes for me and sorrow at not knowing anything about her best friend.

Because of me.

"Thank you Angela." I choked. Damn, get in check. I cleared my throat. "You have a beautiful baby call me if you need anything." I said and turned to the hall to go back into my office. I didn't want her to see me like this but the tears where already out before I opened the door to my office.

I closed the door behind me, leaned against it and took a deep breath. C'mon Cullen, not here, not now. I looked at my desk a saw our picture. It was taken on Thanksgiving Day at my parents' house, Alice had been excitedly taking pictures with her new camera Jasper gave her on her birthday. She was on my back making a funny face while covering my eyes with her hands, I was laughing at her silliness. It was my favorite picture of us, we looked so happy. Suddenly a wave of rage clouded my mind, I took the picture and slammed it against the wall. The glass broke in tiny little pieces.

I hated this, I hated being reminded of her every minute, the absence of her was everywhere I look, I was afraid every time I went into our house, afraid of having a breakdown if I saw something meaningful, but at the same time I couldn't let go of our things. It would be too painful, not being able to see the remains of our life together would be like making it disposable, turning a page, just like that, and what we had was more than that, it deserved more. What I had with her were the best moments of my life. I was terrified of letting them go as I knew I'll never have something even remotely similar.

Afraid to remember, terrified to forget.

Yeah, that described it pretty good.

I decided I needed to go numb again so I wouldn't lose it here at the clinic, I checked my watch and saw it was still an hour before lunch break.

What the fuck. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to get out of here

Besides, the only real reason I worked now was:

A. It would keep my mind occupied and I wouldn't think of her.

B. I used to love what I do.

C. To not disappoint my parents anymore.

It wasn't really because I needed the money, I had it. My family came from money and Granma Platt left Emmet, Alice and I as their unique heirs of everything she owned.

Which was a lot.

I used to work just for the love of it, because of my love for children, and because of my dream to expand my father's clinic, to make him proud of me. But now, I couldn't see the bright side at anything, I still loved children, but the passion for my job died and my dream vanished when she left.

As I didn't have appointments until after lunch anyway, I took off my white coat and headed off of the clinic. It was unlikely another patient would come unannounced and Heidi could always page me.

I needed air.

When I reached the reception I saw dad talking quietly to Heidi, I could tell he was interrogating her. She must have told him about Angela's visit, when dad noticed me he started to call after me but I didn't listen, I opened the door and exited the clinic.

I went into the damn coffee shop again and got me the same as always.

After texting Heidi to postpone my after lunch appointment I went to sit at the usual table, looking at the people pass by me on the sidewalk through the large windows. While zipping at my coffee, I spotted a woman on the corner of the street with a green scarf.

_I was on my office, waiting for her to go to have lunch together. _

"_Dr. Cullen, Bella is here." Heidi finally said over the intercom._

"_Thanks Heidi, let her come in." I answered back._

_After a moment she came into my office without knocking, like she owned it. Which she did, especially the big couch against the wall._

"_Hey honey." She greeted me._

"_Hey yourself" I said as I got up from my desk and gave her a kiss. _

"_Ready to go?"_

"_Yeah, let me just grab my coat." It was mid November, so it was chilly outside._

_After putting my coat on I grabbed her hand and led her out of my office, in the hallway dad came out of his office and his eyed lighted up at the sight of Bella._

"_Bella! How are you sweetie?"_

_She smiled brightly at him._

"_I'm fine Carlisle thank you, just stealing him" she pointed at me "for a while." She winked at him which made him laugh._

"_Ok, but make sure to return him on time, there still are children that need to be saved." He teased._

"_I will." And with that we headed out of the clinic._

_While walking down the street to a restaurant in the corner with joined hands, I noticed a new item around her neck._

"_New scarf?"_

"_Yeah, I got from a small store near campus. You like?" she grabbed the loose part of the scarf and shook it on the air in front of my face making me laugh._

"_Yeah, it looks beautiful on you" she blushed "I didn't know you like green."_

"_Yeah, it's my favorite color" She said with a small smile looking down at her feet._

"_Really? I thought purple was your favorite color."_

"_Well, it's my __**new**__ favorite color." I could tell there was more to the story._

"_Why the sudden change?"_

_She walked in front of me, stood on her toes and grabbing my face between her hands kissed each one of my eyes. After letting me go, she whispered against my lips._

"_It's the color of your eyes"._

_I beamed at her before kissing her soundly._

_I was so fucking lucky._

The scrapping of a chair being moved in front of me brought me out of my memories.

"I knew I'll find you here." I heard a chirpy voice say.

I didn't say anything, instead I continued watching out through the window.

"So, mom called… she told me you two had dinner last night?"

"What do you want Alice?" I asked quietly, not in the mood for small talk.

"I want my brother to congratulate me for his little niece." She said pointedly and I winced.

Shit, I was an asshole.

I looked back at her and gave her an apologetic look.

"Sorry, Alice. I just… I really don't have an excuse… but, I guess I can blame it to the date, but that would be too selfish… and still it isn't an excuse…"

"It's ok, I'm not really here for that. Just wanted to make you say something else than no, yes, what do you want?" She said, doing a bad imitation of me at the last part.

I scoffed.

After a moment I talked again.

"Congratulations, you must be thrilled for your baby girl."

"Yes!" she beamed "I finally will have someone to play makeup and makeovers with." She said pointedly and I knew for sure she had talked to mom.

I chuckled a little without humor.

"So," she said warily "Dad called me too about 30 minutes ago. Are you ok?"

Fuck. I looked away, I didn't wanna talk about that.

Surprisingly, Alice remained silent too.

For 2 minutes.

"I know it must have been hard… but… Edward I'm worried. Please, talk to me… I don't want you to have another trip to the hospital."

I winced again.

Would everybody please let that go?

Jesus, I just had a really bad fucking day that day.

But, of course they would be worried about that. They were afraid Angela's visit would set me off again.

"Don't worry Alice. I'll never put you guys through that again."

"Is not because of us, Edward, is because of you. We hate to see you hurting."

I just looked away. I didn't want to remember when I finally woke up after the alcohol poisoning. My whole family was there, they were fuck sick worried. I knew I had been close, after gathering my bearings dad explained me what happened and what they did to me. I couldn't look at his face while he told me how close I had been to death. Their faces were the worst part, there was pain, sorrow, worry, insecurity, fear… and pity. I couldn't stand the last one.

"I'm ok." I told her.

"Edward, stop saying that… we know you are not ok. You are just tagging along with life. Enough is enough."

There they were again. _Enough is enough_.

Were those words trending now or what? I was sick of hearing them.

Tears were suddenly falling down her cheeks. I wanted to think it was because of the pregnancy hormones but I knew better, they broke my heart.

"Alice, don't cry. Please, I don't want you to cry."

"Hypocrite." She sniffed.

Touché.

"Alice… I'm sorry, I can't help it."

"Just talk to me! Someone, anybody!"

"Fuck, are you here too to convince to see Dr. Fucking Williams?"

She frowned.

"No, we told them you wouldn't agree to that."

"We?" I inquired.

"Jasper and I."

I remained quiet.

"At brunch last Sunday, dad and mom told us of their idea of you going to… _talk _to Dr. Williams, but Jasper said it wouldn't help, that you don't need a stranger to hear you out, to free you of your guilt, to know about what happened, that you needed someone you trusted… someone who you wouldn't think would judge or try to _fix_ you, someone who loves you and understand. I agreed with him."

I didn't say anything. Shocking.

"Edward, I know I wasn't supportive at first, hell… I didn't even talked to you properly for a while" she said this ashamed "and I'm sorry for that, you are my brother and I should have been there for you, but I was mad at you, I know I shouldn't have… but I hope you understand me."

She took a deep breath while I kept staring at the table, I knew she wasn't short of finishing. She was preparing herself for what was coming next.

"Edward… I understand your pain, maybe I'm not hurting like you but I still hurt when she left. That's why I behaved that way… like you, I lost someone special. You know how school was for me, I never had a real friend until Bella" I flinched at her name "people were hypocrites to us during high school just because of who we were, because of our name and our money, and with her I could see she accepted me because of me. She really loved me and I loved her too, but I know I should have been your sister first."

"What do you mean?" I whispered, still looking down.

"What I mean is that if you wanna talk to me, I won't judge you, because I know how much you are hurting… I have seen you and I know you are sorry because of what happened. I won't say anything, if you need to vent everything that has been bottling up inside you for four years just vent, get it out off your chest… I'm here for you. I won't say anything."

"Is not that simple Alice… Fuck, I don't even know what happened that night… that's what makes it so… more frustrating." I said pulling at the ends of my hair fiercely, my temper getting the best of me.

"Try me. What do you know… or remember." She said hopeful.

Then, I remembered what mom and dad told me yesterday, about her not wanting me to be in pain. Knowing her, I knew they were right but still, I would never forgive myself. So I decided to try, at least for my family, to try to ease the pain even though I knew it wouldn't make any difference. The pain would still be there, no matter what.

I sighed.

Fuck.

I had never talked about this.

"Alice, it's hard."

She remained quiet.

I lifted my eyes at her and saw that she was just waiting for me to continue, she was really going to only listen.

Fuck, I didn't know how to start. I couldn't believe I was doing this in the first place.

Fuck it. Here we go.

"The day before the… wedding… Tyler, Emmet and Jasper wanted to hang out, a last minute bachelor party just he four of us… so we headed to Bauhaus… I didn't want to, but they convinced me anyways… they said I should enjoy my last day of freedom since I didn't want a bachelor party."

I took a deep breath… thinking.

"We arrived pretty early… we were supposed to only be there for a couple of hours."

I passed my left hand through my hair, this was where everything was confusing.

After a minute I continued.

"It was past ten, so I told the guys I needed to head home. I knew she wasn't there… she was with you but I still felt like I needed to go home… I was already very tipsy, but when I was about to leave… Tanya arrived."

I thought I heard Alice hiss, her eyes blackening with rage.

She hated her, everybody in my family hated her. We had dated for a couple of months, but I had wanted to end it within the first week. It was a living hell, but I couldn't dump her like that. Her dad and mom were mines' best friends and Emmet's godparents, so I thought I could manage it for a month or so.

But things started to go bad. She was obsessed.

She would literally stalk me everywhere, she wouldn't give me space. She was choking me. I tried to break up with her but she would always threaten me with suicide and other fuck shit like that. She was crazy and it was becoming scary, one day it became too much. I caught her on some lies and I knew she was an alcoholic but also discovered she was a drug addict. I had enough and went to talk to their parents, so they would seek her some help, they took a hand in the situation and make her go and see a therapist. She stopped stalking me after that.

I shuddered at what happened a couple of weeks latter but didn't want to think about it and came back to the present.

"She came to say hi to us and to congratulate me… she knew I was getting married the next day." I continued but paused again. This was the part I was struggling the most.

"As I said, I was already a bit dizzy because of the drinks so I told them I was going home. I didn't want to have a hangover on my wedding day but she stopped me and insisted on inviting us a round of shots as a wedding present. The guys told me to stay a little bit more so I agreed."

I stared at the napkin I was twisting between my fingers on the table. What an idiot I had been.

"The moment I agreed, I knew I shouldn't have. Something in my gut was telling me to decline, but as the fuck wit I am I still agreed."

I can't believe I was actually talking about this. I've never talked about this before…

"After the round of shots she got us she disappeared." I said as I thought harder, this was the blurry part.

"I stayed with the guys a little more, but I could tell the alcohol was making its thing in me… I couldn't think straight anymore, or move properly. Then everything went black."

I was scowling at the cup in front of me, thinking harder. But everything was black.

"I seriously don't know how it happened Alice… I swear I've been trying to recall that night for years but I can't. When I got my wits after _she_ left I asked Jasper what happened, but he told me that neither him nor Emmet or Tyler could explain what happened. He told me he personally took me outside the bar as I couldn't walk and put me on a cab. He never even saw her outside."

I brought my palms to my face and rubbed it in frustration… what the FUCK HAPPENED!

We were in silence for a few minutes.

"Do you think she drugged you?"

What? I looked at her quizzically.

"With the shots, maybe that's why you don't remember anything." She was seething now. "She is crazy you know?"

I've thought about that before… but I couldn't see why or how she would do that.

"I don't think so, she barks but never bits. She never actually followed any of her threats. She was just… obsessed… with me for a while, I was like her shiny new toy" it was uncomfortable to talk about this "and she stopped after her therapy and the incident. Plus, she never looked for me after that day so I don't think she really planned anything."

"Still, I'm not sure."

"It doesn't matter anyway, what's done is done."

We remained quiet for a few minutes. Thinking of what I just told her.

"Thanks." She said

"For what?"

"For opening up to me, it means a lot." She gave a small smile.

I just shook my head.

The pain was still the same, but now it was mixed with anger as I recalled that fucking night. It always has angered me not knowing how she ended up in my bed.

But I did remember her eyes.

_Bella ran out of my room towards the stairs._

"_BELLA!"_

_I flung off the bed, pulled my pants that were on the floor on and chased after her._

"_BELLA! WAIT!... BELLAAA!"_

_We were at the bottom of the stairs, I could hear hushed voices from the kitchen and from my peripheral vision I saw Emmet and Jasper in the hallway carrying a huge box that contained the center pieces for the wedding._

"_IDIOT!" Bella cried as I took her arm and slapped me._

_That made everyone in the house go quiet, mom and Alice came running out of the kitchen, there was shock on all of their faces._

"_IDIOT, HOW COULD YOU?" She was in hysterics now._

"_BELLA WAIT, I DON'T KNO-"_

_But she turned around and headed for the front door. I went after her and grabbed her hand to stop her. She whirled around and pulled her hand away harshly, slapping me again. _

_God she had good arm._

"_Don't touch me! I don't want you to ever touch me again!" Tears were coming down hard on her cheeks._

"_BELLA I'M SORRY! I DON-"_

"_I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!" she screamed as she covered her ears with both of her hands, a river of tears still on her face. _

_I was starting to panic, this couldn't be happening, this must be a nightmare._

"_Isabella, honey… what happened? Calm down, please sweetie…" Mom tried to sooth her, but she didn't listen instead she took her ring off of her finger and threw it at me._

"_I'M DONE! I don't want to hear from you EVER AGAIN!"_

"_Bella! No! WAIT! Let me-" I tried to speak again, utter fear taking my body._

"_Edward?" a voice said from up the stairs and Tanya popped her head, she was covering her body with my bed sheets._

_There was a collective gasp from my family._

_Emmet and Jasper dropped the box of vases. There was a loud crash._

"_YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Alice screeched and went after her, but Jasper grabbed her in time. Tanya's eyes went wide in fear and hurried back to my room._

_I turned back to Bella, her face covered by her hands. She was sobbing and slowly kneeled on the floor, her pain was too much._

_I ran and kneeled in front of her. I tried to touch her but she flinched away._

"_Bella, please… honey, look at me." I was sobbing too now my voice shaking violently._

_She shook her head, her hands still covering her face._

"_Please baby…"_

_I lifted my trembling hands and reached for her wrists, I tugged at them trying to pull them down. I needed to see her face. When I succeed, her arms went immediately around her, protecting herself. _

_She was sobbing… pouring her guts out, her eyes were bloodshot and she was trying to control her breathing, head down taking deep breaths... _

_Because of me._

"_Bella, look at me… I'm begging here."_

_She looked at me._

_And I wished she hadn't._

_Her eyes… full of raw pain, sorrow, hurt, sadness, disbelief, anger, fear… disappointment. _

_They shattered my already broken soul._

_We stared at each other, for only god knows how long. I didn't know what was happening around me, if my family was still there or if they left us. I didn't care I had more important business here._

"_Bella-" I tried again, but she cut me off._

"_Why Edward?" she whispered harshly._

_I looked down I didn't even know what fucking happened._

"_Seriously, honey… I don't know…" I was at a loss of words._

_She started crying again. I grabbed her face with both of my hands and brought her forehead to mine. She tried to pull away but I didn't let her. I couldn't let he go._

"_Bella, I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened… please believe me!"_

_She was shaking her head._

_I took the ring she had thrown at me from the floor, grabbed her hand and closed it around it, my hand covering hers._

"_Bella, I'm so sorry… please, you have no idea… __**I love you**__!"_

"_Stop."_

_Then she started to stand up, and my head began to spin. She was leaving._

"_BELLA! NO! I SWEAR! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!" I screamed as I took a hold of her legs, I was on my knees… begging her._

"_PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!"_

_She was shaking her head. _

_I wasn't thinking straight, she was leaving, she couldn't leave. _

_I was having a nightmare, this couldn't be real. _

"_Bella, I swear I didn't mean to, I don't know what fucking happened! I LOVE YOU! It's only you! She means nothing, NOTHING!" she was walking backwards, staring at me, I moved in my knees towards her._

"_Edward, why did you do it?" She said harshly in a mix of anger and pain._

_Like the fucking moron I am, I just stared at her._

_I didn't have an answer._

_With a quiet voice, she started talking again._

"_Renne __**cheated**__ on my dad" she said the last with gritted teeth, I flinched "she left us, I had a hard time growing up, we didn't have any money, I worked since I was twelve, saving for college and looking after my father who was broken beyond repair because of what she did."_

_She took a moment to take a deep breath._

"_And still… after growing up in a shattered home, hearing my dad curse to love almost __**every day**__ and me struggling between school and work so I could get out of there, I had hope… I had faith that someday I will find a man that would prove him wrong. A man, who would love me unconditionally and irrevocably. A man, who I could give myself to without hesitation. A man I trusted with my own life…"_

_I looked down, my head was spinning fast, this couldn't be happening._

_What did I do?_

"_You knew this… you knew my fears, my worries, my dreams and my hopes. I trusted you with them, and you just took them and threw them out of the window… I honestly thought you'd be the last man on earth… to ever hurt me like that…" She sobbed._

"_Bella… please… I'm sorry…" I tried without hope._

_She shook her head, grabbed my hands that were at her waist and moved them away._

"_Goodbye Edward…" she whispered, she opened my palm and put something there. _

_I barely noticed._

_I was numb, staring at her, waiting to wake up from this nightmare… this wasn't real, this wasn't happening._

_I heard Alice say something to her, but she didn't even look at her. _

_She just shook her head, hugged herself… looked at me one more time… and walked away._

…

…

_What's going on?_

…

…

_Where did she go?_

…

…

_Her eyes._

…

…

_Why am I not waking up?_

…

…

_Why do I hear screaming?_

…

…

_Why were her eyes so sad?_

…

…

_Wake up._

…

…

_Edward, wake the fucking up._

…

…

_DAMN EDWARD! WAKE UP NOW!_

…

…

_This is NOT happening._

…

…

_FUCK EDWARD! WAKE UP NOWWW!_

_I balled my hands into fist, and something stung in my palm._

_I looked down and saw her ring._

…

…

_She left…_

…

…

_She wasn't here anymore._

…

…

_She left._

_And that's when I lost it._

"Where did you go?" Alice startled me throwing a balled napkin at me.

"Uhmm… sorry… I was just thinking."

She looked at me sadly, she knew what I was thinking about.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

I nodded.

"Did you ever talk to Tanya?" She asked then and I shook my head.

"No."

It wouldn't change anything anyways.

"You know her parents where ashamed of what happened right? They actually think it was their daughter's fault. That she had something to do with it."

"How do you know?"

"I talked to Kate after all the scandal, they actually sent her out of the city until things calmed down. Mom blamed her for everything, especially after Emmet told her about your night out. She is pretty sure she drugged you too. Nobody really blames you, we know you didn't mean to."

"It doesn't really matter if I was drugged or not, I shouldn't have taken that drink in the first place, I knew how crazy she was. I cannot hold the alcohol or… _drugs_ responsible for my actions I still made the decision to go out the night _before_ my wedding and accepted a drink from my _psychotic _ex-girlfriend."

"You might be right, but I still think you have done you share of self punishment. You should start over… I know it's not what you want to hear, but Edward, you need to stop this… You might regret it later."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She was quiet and I could tell she was hiding something. I was about to call her on it but she talked first.

"What I mean is, maybe you are not ready to start a love life again, and maybe you'll never be, I understand that… but that doesn't mean you can't _live_. It wouldn't mean you are not sorry for what happened, or that you love her less, or that you are over it, but you don't have to torture yourself forever."

She took a big breath and stared out the window, she contemplated something for a second and turned her eyes to me.

"Andrew left a big hole in our family… you are the only thing that's left of him, don't waste your life, think about him, he didn't have the chance to grow up, go to college, meet someone… fall in love… you did. It ended, I know it must hurt like a mother fucker, but at least you had it. How many people can say that? He can't. Don't cry anymore because it ended, you have done that enough, smile because it at least happened. Andrew never had a chance to fulfill his dreams, you still can. It wouldn't be fair to him to see you throwing you life away like this, just do something, and make him proud. We can take baby steps if you want."

I knew Alice was probably right. Fuck, she _was _right. But I still couldn't see me hanging out with my friends again or being in a room full of couples and pretending to be happy. I wasn't ready for that.

But what she said of Andrew hit a nerve. I owed it to him, to live the life he was supposed to be living. To be happy at least for him.

"Just come to brunch on Sunday, at least for an hour. Mom would be thrilled and you would give dad a peace of mind. You don't have to talk or be part of any conversation." she was pleading "I promise. Baby steps, remember?"

I groaned.

I didn't want to. I wasn't ready.

"Alright."

Fuck.

Her face was full of fireworks, tears falling down her cheeks again.

Damn it.

"OH! Thank you Edward! Thank you! You have no idea how surprised and glad they will be! Let's keep it a secret!" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Sure Alice."

I can't believe I was doing this.

She clapped her hands, but suddenly something caught her attention out the window behind me. I turned around but saw nothing.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I thought … I thought I saw someone." She said thoughtfully "Anyway, I'll be picking you up at ten, Ok?" She said beaming.

"Alice, I can drive myself."

"Nu –uh sir, Jasper and I will pick you up, I won't let you escape." She winked. She was ecstatic.

Fuck, I guess I was going to brunch.

* * *

><p><strong>See that blue button there? click it.. you know you want to =D<strong>

**Soooo, what do you think? Do you think Edward is guilty? Do you blame him?**

**I hope the "wedding day fiasco" -as Kitkatr put it (which made me crack up) - lived up you expectations... I also hope you understand Edward's view of things... hey, at least he is trying!**

**Bella's engagement ring is on my profile! Along with 2 banners I did for this story...**

**Follow me on twitter tpec1991 if you have any questions!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Leave me a review, and I'll update sooner, I swear they fuel my writing skills ;D**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	4. Chapter 4: Broken

**Hello! my beautiful old and new readers! Thank you soooo much to everybody who reviewed! You have no idea how that makes my day! I'm so glad everybody is liking the story so much so far! I know they are mixed feeling about edward's pain but... he did something really bad after all... but don't worry, have a little faith in me?**

**I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve! and I wish you a happy !**

**Now, let's get down to business!**

**I don't own anything, characters belong to SM, I'm just making their life a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 4. Broken<p>

"**Broken" – Lifehouse**

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart that's still beating

In the pain there is healing

In your name I find meaning

So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on

I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head

I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead

I still see your reflection inside of my eyes

That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

My alarm rings. It's time to wake up.

I don't want to.

But I promised I would try.

I get up, have my morning piss, take a shower and shave. I walk to my walk-in closet next to my bathroom, avoid her side and put on some black pants and a white shirt.

I head out of the house, get in my car and drive to the clinic.

So far so good.

I make a quick stop at Tim Horton's before getting to the clinic for a coffee.

"Same as always?" asks the lady behind the cashier and I think about it.

"Actually, could you add an Apple Danish please?" I said, changing it a little bit. I haven't had breakfast in four years and four days so I might as well get over that too.

Baby steps.

"Of course sir."

I nod.

I walk into the clinic, swallowing the last bit of my Apple Danish and take a look at my schedule on Heidi's desk. It's Saturday so I only work half day and I only have three appointments, the first one is at ten.

Once in my office I prepare for the day, I put my white coat on and wash my hands, then power up my computer to check on my e-mail. When the computer is on I type my password and log into my user's account.

I stare at my desktop's wallpaper for god only knows how long.

It's a picture of us, we are on the beach… we are sitting on the sand, she is between my legs and her back on my chest. It was taken a few weeks before that fateful day.

My heart beat starts to accelerate, I close my eyes and try to breath. Willing the memories to the back of my mind.

C'mon Cullen, you promised you would try.

After a few deep breaths, I open the browser and log into my e-mail account. I erase a few e-mails about non-sense. I'm not in a good mood.

_No, I don't want to join fucking tumblr._

_I don't know what the heck flickr is._

_I don't care about a fucking sales discount at GAP._

I came across to an invitation to a doctors' convention in Ottawa, something about a new virus. They want me to confirm my attendance, the convention was on Tuesday. I'll think about it, usually it was just to promote a new medication and I already knew about the virus, I could handle it. It wasn't even dangerous so I don't really have to go.

Heidi comes in and tells me Emily is here with Seth without an appointment, asking If could see her. I tell her to let her in.

Seth caught her sister's cold I examine him and give Emily a new prescription for him. When they are gone my ten o'clock arrives and I go on with my day. When I am done with my last patient, Heidi tells me they called from the doctors' convention asking for my attendance, I tell her I'll let her know on Monday so she can rearrange my schedule and postpone Tuesday and probably Wednesday's appointments.

Why are they so pushy? And in so short notice?

Mine and dad's name was pretty well known among the health society, so they were always inviting us to all this kind of events, my dad was considered one of the best oncologists in Canada, but he focused only in children. I got my surgeons license a few months ago, I went back to study after the hospital incident, mostly to take my mind off of things, but also to expand my knowledge. Thanks to my brains and my lack of social life I got my license earlier.

Dad was an OB/GYN and an oncologist with a specialty on children, I was a pediatrician and now a surgeon so we made a perfect team. St. Andrew's clinic was pretty well known across Canada, we had patients coming from all over the country. We loved children and we loved what we do, well… at least I used to.

After taking off my coat and hanging it on the back of my door's office, I take my car keys and leave the clinic. Once in the car I put the key on the ignition but I don't turn it on. I take a deep breath and start to think, I need a distraction, if I become moody and brooding again -like I have been doing the last couple of days- I won't make it to brunch tomorrow. Then and idea came to mind.

I grab my phone and call Emmet, he answers within the first ring.

"Who are you and what have you done to my brother?" he answers teasingly, but I can tell there is tension in his voice. I couldn't blame him, I never call anyone, he must think something is wrong.

"Hey Em…" I say in a monotone voice.

"Hey little bro, to what I owe the honor of your call?" He said, still wary but trying to sound cheerful.

"Hardy-har…" I mumble "Hey listen… I was just… I was calling to see if… to see if you wanna go for a run… later?"

There was silence for a minute.

"Ok-ay?" he said unsure "Ok, I'm up for that…" he said more confidently "you know I'm happy that you called Edward, but… don't take this the wrong way man… but are you sure you are Ok?"

"Yes Emmet, I'm Ok... I just thought I could use some fresh air, I need… I need to clear my head a little bit."

"Ok… Wow… Edward Cullen, taking off his drama queen outfit, about time!"

"Too soon for jokes Em."

"Sorry dude can't help it."

I didn't say anything.

"Soo… High Park? Five o'clock?" He asks.

"Sure, see you there… Thanks Em, bye."

"Bye Eddie."

There, I'm going to do something different for today, instead of spending it like any other Saturday –after her of course- self loathing me, sour and broody I'm taking a run with Emmet, another step.

I ended the call and headed back to my place. It was a little after two so I made myself something light for lunch, I didn't want to have dinner too late, I always went to bed early. I took my sandwich, grabbed a coke and sat on the breakfast table in the middle of my kitchen.

The house was quiet… too quiet, I could only hear the noise of my own chewing and the buzz of the fridge. I looked at the clock on the microwave, 2:39 p.m. I scanned the rest of the kitchen having an eerie feeling but I quickly recognize it.

Loneliness.

I haven't felt this alone in a while, wonder why? Nothing has changed, maybe because of my conversation with Alice the day before. She made me realize a lot of things, she made me think of Andrew in another way, not just as my beloved twin that I lost, but as in a person whose life was taken from him and didn't have the chance to live it, and she said_ I_ wasn't living,_ I_ had been given that chance and I was throwing it away.

She hadn't been the first one to tell me that, it seemed that everyone was telling me that lately and I get what they are saying, that moving on wouldn't mean I'm over her, but that I'm just continuing with my path. As if losing my co-pilot but continuing with the journey. But again, they don't understand, I don't think they really get it. It doesn't help things that I don't open up to any of them either. Yeah, yesterday I talked about that day for the first time with my sister, but I only retold her what she already knew, the only difference was that it was from my perspective, I didn't actually told her about my feelings about all this situation and explained my behavior. How can they expect me to continue with my life? Do they really understand what I did? I'm lost, don't they see? Life is just meaningless without her. There is no point, no direction, nothing. Just a vast universe full off stars and distractions, but my sun, my warmth, the beauty, is gone.

She left.

And it was my fault.

I rubbed at my chest in vain, trying to ease the constant burning there where my heart used to beat.

Tomorrow would be hard at brunch, I could already tell how that was going to go. Mom would be all over me, offering me all kinds of things to eat, asking me if I was uncomfortable or if I needed anything, Emmet would be making loud noises annoying me to death, Dad would be watching me closely for any signs of craziness, Alice would be talking to me non-stop about non-sense and Jasper would be giving me his pity slash apologetic look. I should have called him today instead of Emmet by the way. He at least would know when to shut up, and Rose, well… she'll be Rose, period.

When I'm done with my sandwich, I wash my dish, throw the empty can into the garbage and head upstairs. When I'm about to open the door to my room I stare at the last door on the hallway.

Since she moved in I haven't been in that room. She wouldn't allow me, that was where the "Bella's Gallery" was. It used to be a studio but I moved my desk and stuff to my music room so she could have her own space too. She promised me she would show me one day if I was good enough, when she thought I deserved it she joked. I didn't complain too much, after all it was her diary. I understood it so I didn't push the matter too often but the curiosity was always there. I remember the day she officially moved in, how she came back and forth with wrapped canvases. There were a lot, tons.

I shook my head I didn't deserve to go into that room. It was her sanctuary and every chance I had to ever see her soul, in bright colors before my eyes vanished that day. I didn't dare to go there and wouldn't let anyone else go there either, not even the cleaning maid. The first time she came after she left, I gave her specific instructions not to go into that room and never ever to move her stuff, not even her sweater which was still on the floor on our closet next her favorite sneakers. She got the point when I yelled at her once, when she moved her make-up stuff from her vanity table to clean the dust.

I always wonder why she never came back for her stuff, or send someone for them, is not like I wouldn't give them back to her, it would hurt like fuck, it would give a finality to the situation but I would do it. Another thing that gets me is to know that I hurt her so much that she didn't even come back for her things. She left me and everything that was hers behind. How much pain did I inflict in her that she had the need to leave everything behind? Her paintings, clothes, personal stuff? All that was hers?

I guess she just didn't want anything that reminded her of me. I couldn't argue with her.

That realization brought another wave of pain.

_Where are you? _

_Are you happy?_

Sometimes I wonder if she still thinks of me, probably not. I bet she met someone else and that thought kills me every time. But I can't complain, she deserves to be happy. I hope she found that man she talked about that day, I hope I didn't shatter her dreams completely and she trusted again. She deserves anything she wanted. I know it will hurt to know she found someone, but it would hurt way more that she didn't. That I killed her hopes, that I truly took her faith away, that she was alone.

Like me.

Because apart from the pain that I feel and that I'll carry for the rest of my life, I'll always love her, no matter what, and because of that I wish her the best.

I hope she healed.

I sighed and went into my room, took my shirt and pants off and laid on my bed wearing only my boxers. I stared at the ceiling for a while and then checked my watch.

2:58 p.m.

I still had a lot of time before I had to go to Emmet.

"_Baby…" I called after her._

_She ignored me and continued her way upstairs._

_But of course, I followed her like a lost puppy._

"_Bella, c'mon talk to me honey."_

"_Don't __**honey**__ me." She spat as she entered our room._

_She had been this cranky the last couple of weeks, the wedding was next week so she was nervous and stressed about everything, I had told her time after time that she didn't have to worry, that everything was perfect and that Alice would handle anything if something went wrong. But still she couldn't be at ease._

"_Pretty girl, are you mad at me?"_

_She didn't say anything, which meant "yes"._

"_Bella what did I do?" I pleaded, I hated when she was mad at me._

_She continued to ignore me and closed herself in the bathroom. I let out an exasperated sigh and threw myself on the bed staring at the ceiling. A minute later she came out of the bathroom wearing only her underwear and locked herself on the walk-in closet._

_Fuck, she was killing me. _

_We have been out for dinner, so she had worn this beautiful, sexy little black dress that let nothing to imagination, and now that she had taken it off, she was wearing what had to be the sexiest black lingerie ever and by the look of things I won't be able to play with it tonight. _

_Shit, what did I do to deserve this torture?_

_Everything had been fine at first during dinner, but when I was about to pay her mood changed._

_Then it hit me._

_I stood up and walked to the walk-in closet. I leaned my head against the door._

"_Pretty girl, are you mad at me about that waitress?"_

_No answer, that meant "yes". _

_Fuck._

"_Bella… honey… are you jealous?" I asked tentatively. _

_The door flung open, and I had to grab the threshold to steady myself._

_She glared at me, her hands on her hips, one eyebrow arched._

_Fuck, this wasn't good._

_And to make things worse… I had a frigging boner. _

_She was so sexy when she was mad, add to that a black corset with black lace and black laced panties and I was done. She lowered her gaze and saw my dilemma, rolled her eyes and walked past me. I turned around and followed her._

_Fuck, she had a great ass._

_But I already knew that, and she did too. That's why she was giving her back to me. Dirty player._

"_Honey, you know there is nothing to worry about, right?"_

_Nothing. I tried again._

"_Bella, you trust me right? Besides you saw me returning her phone number."_

_She whirled around and pointed a finger at me._

"_So, let me get this right, it __**is**__ Ok for __**you**__ to punch guys in their faces when they are staring at me at a bar, but it is __**not**__ Ok for __**me**__ to be mad about a skank giving my fiancé her phone number. Right?" she fumed. _

"_That only happened once, and he wasn't just staring. God! I thought you were going to be delivering babies at any second there with all that eye-fucking he was giving you!" I said getting angry at the memory. That fucker had it coming. _

_She scoffed._

"_Be serious, please."_

"_I __**am**__ being serious! I can't believe you are mad at me for something like that! It's stupid I'll be yours officially in a week, baby you have nothing to worry about."_

_Then she covered her face with both of her hands._

_Shit. Now I made her cry._

"_Bella? Sweetie, are you Ok?... I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell at you like that…" she cried harder, I felt like an ass "Bella? I'm sorry… Come here baby." I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face into my chest._

"_No, __**I'm**__ sorry… I know it's stupid… I just…" she sobbed._

"_Shh… It's ok honey, I understand." I kissed the top of her head trying to sooth her._

"_I'm sorry, it's just… it's just with the wedding and everything… I'm a wreck of nerves."_

"_It's Ok. I love you."_

"_I love you too."_

_We kept quiet for a while, just holding each other. When I thought the waters were fine again I finally spoke._

"_Soo… about this outfit, I haven't seen it before, is it new?" _

_She grabbed my face and kissed me harshly._

_Let's just say that I loved make up sex._

Emmet was waiting for me in what used to be our usual spot.

"Hey!" He greeted me.

I nodded.

"Soo… ten minutes of jogging for warm up and then we go for an hour?"

"Sure." I answered

"Great… soo ready to get your ass kicked?" he wriggled his eyebrows with a huge fucking smile on his face, I rolled my eyes at him, put on my earplugs and with AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" on the background we took off.

After an hour and a half Emmet and I we back where we started.

"You are in better condition than I thought." He nudged me.

"I still work out three times a week after work." I answered.

"Yeah, but I still won." He said proudly and I just ignored him. "So, do you wanna go for a juice or something?"

I thought for a minute.

What the hell, I was already out.

"Sure."

We stopped at a smoothies and juices kind of place and ordered ourselves something to drink. Then we sat at one of the booths on the other side of the shop.

"Earth to Eddie…" Emmet called.

"Sorry, I was thinking." Or numb would be more appropriate.

"And may I ask what were you thinking about in that big brain of yours Eddieboo?"

"About next week's convention in Ottawa" I lied.

"What about it?" He said before taking a zip from his smoothie.

"I don't want to go, but they have been calling and calling…"

"Dad mention it last week at brunch, I don't think he wants to go either."

I nodded.

After a minute I decide to do a real effort.

"So, how are thing between you and Rose?"

"Things are great." He said, but I could tell something bothered him.

"What is it?"

"I hate it when you read minds like that." He snorted.

I shrugged.

"Is just that… ehmm… she wants, she wants us to take a fertility test."

"And... ?"

"I'm worried… what if there is something wrong down there? Plus, I don't want dad or you to examine my swimmers. That's just wrong."

I huffed.

"Well, thankfully is not my job to examine yours or anybody's swimmers. That would be dad's job."

"Even worse." He muttered.

"How so?"

"Well, it's _dad. _We would be talking about our sex life with him." He shuddered again.

"Emmet, grow a pair."

"Look who's talkin'." He scoffed "When was last time?"

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean."

"I've been busy."

"No, you've been whining." He insisted annoying the hell out of me. It wasn't her business when was the last time I had sex or not.

"Stop."

…

…

"Sorry… too far?" He asked sheepishly.

I didn't say anything, the atmosphere turning tense.

"Sorry." He whispered. He was eyeing me warily, like unsure about something. "I don't like you to be so alone." He said by a way of explanation.

After a moment I shook my head.

"No, I'm sorry… it's just… yesterday… I had a talk with Alice, Angela came to the clinic."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Angela? Angela?"

"Yes Emmet, what other Angela is out there?" I said a little harshly.

"What did she want?" He asked a little nervous "I talked to Alice before coming here, she didn't say anything."

I rolled my eyes, why would she tell him?

"She and Ben had a baby a couple months ago. She wanted to start a medical file with me." I said looking at some piece of fruit on my glass while moving it with my straw.

"How was it?"

"Well, obviously I was surprised I haven't seen her in years." I left out the part when we talked about her but Emmet being Emmet had to ask.

"Did you ask about her?" He asked tentatively.

…

…

"I didn't need to. She could read the question on my face, she just told me she sent her an email a few months after… after that day… that was the last she heard from her."

"Really?" He seemed surprised. Weird. "I thought they were good friends?" He said after a second.

…

…

"So that's why Alice was looking for you yesterday?"

I nodded, looking down.

"She was afraid I would pull out another stunt, like the one a few years ago." I said still looking down.

He was quiet.

"Thank you." I whispered looking back at him, he looked at me quizzically.

"I never thanked you about that, the CPR? You saved me."

"No problem dude." He nudgeed my shoulder with his fist. "Just don't scare us like that again Ok?"

I nodded.

…

…

"Edward, can I ask you a question?" I nodded.

"I know you said you just had a bad day, but… I wonder… what triggered it?" He asked.

…

…

"Her perfume."

I still remembered it like yesterday, it was Saturday, I had just arrived from the clinic and I was in a bad mood so instead of making myself something for lunch I headed upstairs to take a hot shower. To relax a little bit you know? While I was in the bathroom taking my clothes off I accidentally pushed her perfume bottle from her side of the countertop and it fell to the floor, breaking when it landed. Her scent assaulted me, it had been almost two years since she left so the house hadn't smell like her for a while. When I smelled her perfume, a bunch of memories swirled through my brain, the pain came back full force and I couldn't stand it. It was too much to handle.

So instead of taking the shower, I headed downstairs for a drink, I wanted to be unconscious for a while, until the rough part of the pain passed at least. But one drink led to another, and before I knew it I was throwing my guts out.

* * *

><p>I was on my living room, giving me myself a pep talk while I waited for Jasper and Alice to arrive. Yesterday with Emmet had been hard enough, I could only imagine how hard was gonna be today. The chirping of my phone alerted me of a text message.<p>

**We are outside! –A**

I took deep breath to give me some courage and clear my head.

Okay, let's get done with this.

I walked outside my house and saw Alice's yellow Porsche parked behind my Volvo. After locking the house I headed to the car and got into the seat at the back. Alice was already talking before I even got my seatbelt on.

"Hey! Did you sleep well? Emmet called, he told me you too went for a run yesterday?" she asked brightly. Jesus, my family could give Perez fucking Hilton a run of his money. What was up with all the gossip? Yeah I went for a run with my brother. Big deal. To me it felt like it but I wasn't stupid, I know it wasn't… I was the one being a baby about all this.

"Just drive before I change my mind." I ignored her questions.

Jasper turned in his seat to give an apologetic smile.

"Hello, you Ok?"

I rolled my eyes, damn it. I hated the fact that they felt like they had to be like walking on eggshells around me all the time. But I knew it was my fault, god knows how many times I have given them reasons to be like this.

This was one of the things I hated the most, to show weakness in front of my family. At the beginning I didn't give a fucking damn, I wasn't even aware of my surroundings for most of the time. It was after the hospital incident that I started to take my family into consideration.

So today I'll try, I'll try not to brood a lot, I'll smile when I had to and I'll listen to the conversations around me. I'm not saying I'll start to _live _today, but I'll behave normal for them, at least for a couple of hours. We'll get to the live part later.

As soon as I buckled my belt, Jasper took off. It was then that I realized Alice wasn't driving her car.

"Why aren't you driving your car?" Her mood suddenly changed and she glared at Jasper.

Hormones.

"Because Mr. Overly-protective here won't let me." She threw daggers at Jasper. He put one hand on her thigh, soothing her.

"Sweetie, don't be mad at me. You know why."

"What happened?" I asked and they answered in unison.

"Nothing happened."

"She hit a lamp post."

My eyes went wide with worry.

"Alice?"

"I said I was sorry! I swear it came out of nowhere!" She cried with pleading eyes.

"How can a lamp _post_ came out of nowhere? Alice you are pregnant, you have to be careful." I said rather angrily.

"I said I was sorry!"

"She fell asleep." Jasper said and I could hear the worry and frustration in his voice.

"You fell asleep?" I asked surprised with wide eyes, I hadn't heard of that one before. I knew tiredness was part of pregnancy but I had never heard of it being so strong to make a woman fall asleep while driving.

"Fucking symptoms." She muttered, and then started sobbing.

I groaned and started pulling at my hair. Not what I needed, I was getting a headache now and Jasper started to talk non-sense to her to sooth her.

"Shh… sweetie it's Ok… nothing happened, I just don't want you to drive alone anymore Ok? I'm here for you… I love you… please, stop crying… do you want me to get you some cupcakes... ? Before we get to your parents'?" He asked hopefully.

"Pink Velour and Coconut Cream Dream" She whimpered.

* * *

><p>After a quick stop at Cutie Pie &amp; Co, Alice's mood changed drastically and she talked the rest of the drive happily about frosting and shit with 12 freaking mini cupcakes on a box on her lap. I was left with my mouth wide open when I realized that by the time Jazz parked the car in front of my parent's house there weren't any left. Worst part, she didn't even share.<p>

We got out of the car and saw Emmet's jeep behind dad's Mercedes on the garage. We headed to the front door and got into the house. We followed the sound of voices and Emmet's laugh into the kitchen, everyone turned around and out of nowhere Alice yelled.

"Surprise!" and pointed at me, I rolled my eyes at her.

Fuck, I felt like a recovering drug addict who just came out of rehab and was visiting his family for the first time. Mom rushed at me giving me a big hug, followed by my incredulous dad.

Yes, it's me. I came to fucking brunch, get over it. I thought dryly.

"Edward! Oh my god!" Mom said after letting me go, she was beaming, she cleared her tears away with the tip of her fingers.

Ok, this was getting way out of hand.

"Hello Son." Dad patted my back. He wasn't an emotional person.

"Hey." I replied.

"Honey, you should have told me you were coming! I would have made chocolate chip pancakes for you. I think I have some flower somewhere… maybe I can still make the-"

"Mom, it's ok. I'm fine, don't worry about it." I said, but the mention of chocolate chip pancakes did make me regret not letting her know I was coming. They were my favorite and I hadn't had them in years.

"Well, next Sunday then." She said, I was about to say something about _that,_ I didn't want to give her the impression that I'd start coming from now on but she interrupted me. "Ok, everybody move to the living room! Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes!"

Everybody followed mom's instructions and we moved ourselves to the living room next to the game room. My parent's house was huge so they had 2 living rooms, we preferred the one next to the game room, it was cozy and the women could be talking about everything they wanted while we were next to them in the game room. But not today, today we all took a seat in the living room. After a moment of silence, with everybody giving me side glances Rosalie was the first one to talk.

"So Alice, how's the pregnancy going?" she asked, smiling longingly.

Poor Rose, she wanted to be a mom so bad. When Emmet proposed she immediately started talking about babies. Emmet was scared shitless but he knew this about her, she was one of those crazy baby women, worse than Monica Geller, I swear. It was shocking actually, because given her personality you wouldn't think she was the mommy type. Rose was independent, strong, cold, basically a bitch… but she was also so fiercely protective of the ones she loved, and she had a strange way to show it. Like now, I bet she knew I was uncomfortable, expecting all the attention to come towards me, so she directed it to Alice instead.

Rose was never too close to _her_, but as she was a member of the family back then, she loved her too, and when I screwed up everything, of course she gave me a piece of her mind -and that would be putting it mildly- but along with Emmet and the rest -but Alice- she tried to help me. In her way, not hovering, giving me my space, not like the rest. She understood what I wanted or needed. I was grateful to her for that.

"It's great! I'm a little over 3 months, and dad says everything is perfect so far."

"Are you having any crazy cravings yet?" Rose asked with glimmer in her eyes.

"No, not yet." She said avoiding Jasper's eyes, he just snorted.

They continued talking about baby stuff, and I swear to god I was trying but I couldn't help myself. I went numb without noticing. It was Jasper who brought me out of it when he subtly nudged me with his elbow on the ribs. I sent him a grateful look. Even though they were still talking I could tell some of them noticed it, my dad being one of them, but they continued talking like nothing had happened.

Dad continued studying me through the rest of the conversation between my siblings and friends and during brunch. But I got more control of myself during the meal, making small comments now and then. Mom continued throwing food on my plate, always making sure I had enough, and offering me things as they kept coming from the kitchen by Mrs. Yorkie, the maid. I was about to explode, I wasn't used to breakfast anymore and was used to have light lunches.

Still, it was hard not to go numb… especially with so much joy and love around me. Every time I saw Jasper rub my sister's small belly or caught Emmet giving her wife a peck on her lips my insides would shred. I would always look away or stare at my plate. It was hard to see them so care free, enjoying life with their respective others. I wanted to go, but I didn't have my car with me, I guess this was what Alice meant to not letting me escape. I could always hail a cab, but I didn't want to make a scene or worry them.

"I DON'T DO THAT!" Alice screamed between fits of laugher, bringing me out of my… numbness.

"Yes, you do!" Rosalie argued back.

"No, I do NOT slap people's asses when I'm drunk!"

"Yeah honey, you do." Jasper said which Alice blushed.

"No, I don't it's disgusting and wrong" She said more firmly.

"New years?" Jasper said arching an eyebrow at her.

"My birthday party?" Rosalie continued.

"Last Thanksgiving dinner?" Emmet laughed.

Then Rose started laughing so freaking hard.

"Oh my god! Remember that time with the strippers? That was soo freakin hilarious." Rosalie said between breaths.

"What strippers?" Jasper turned to Rose.

"Strippers?" Alice questioned.

"Yeah! The ones at Bella's bachelorette party! Remember?" Rosalie said making me flinch, but the second she finished her sentence she realized what she had said. She bit her lip hard, and everyone fell silent. I could feel rather than see everyone giving me side glances and the tension in the room intensifying.

It wasn't the stripper's part, I had known about them. She had called me in the middle of the party worried about them, feeling guilty. I hadn't like it, but I swallowed my jealousy and told her it was ok, to not worry and to have fun. It was simply the mention of her name that put everyone on their guard. Barely two seconds passed before Alice recovered and talked again.

"Ok, ok… I do _sometimes _slap people's asses, but that doesn't mean I'm a horny drunk! That would be Emmet." She said challenging him crossing her arms in front of her chest, he just shrugged.

"Well… I'm definitely an ass man, that's for sure." He said matter-of-factly which earned him a slap on the back of his head from Rose.

"Do you have any shame? Your parents are here, Jesus…" Rose hissed.

"No he doesn't." Dad said with an amusing look.

The mention of her name brought memories to the front of my mind again. I scanned the room and again I saw joy, love, dreams, hopes… future in my family faces. I rubbed at my chest, I felt as if everything within me was shattering even more, and suddenly I couldn't breathe anymore. I saw the faces of my family and friends again, the light in their eyes, the future was there for them and it made me realize exactly what Alice meant, what everybody has been trying to tell all along. That because I wasn't living I wasn't making my future and that's when I knew _exactly_ what I had lost thanks to my stupidity. I didn't just loose the love of my life, I didn't just ended her hopes and dreams as she had call it. I also ended mine, I already knew this, of course, but it wasn't until this moment that I was actually_ seeing _what I had lost. I had lost my future, I didn't know what was going to become of me, and that scared me to death. I didn't know what I would be doing once my family started their own. Alice and Jasper were already doing it Emmet and Rosalie were trying to. I know I haven't spend a lot of time with my family the past years, but I still knew they were there for me, even if I didn't acknowledge it I felt them there with me. But, how long would that be? I remembered how I felt yesterday during lunch, I had never felt that alone in a while and now that loneliness was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

I could see myself in twenty years, gray haired, old, alone, sitting on my breakfast table trying to get up by my own, probably with a cane. Since she left, I had only focused on the pain I felt and on the pain I inflicted on her, trying not to revive old memories which threatened to end me. I know I said I knew what this self exile would do to me eventually but I didn't comprehend the enormity of it until now. Until now that I saw my grey-haired dad stealing love glances at my mom, or Alice holding Jaspers hand above her growing belly. All their lives were continuing, and I was stuck here, in the middle of the road not knowing where to go, alone, and the worst part was that I couldn't do anything to change that. I was lost. I lost my traveling partner.

She left.

"Edward?"

I know they said they would help me, that they would always be there for me but I know how things can change in one fucking night. One day they would just stop trying, and I couldn't blame them.

"Edward, honey are you Ok?"

They would move on with their lives and I would end up alone. Forever. Alone in our house, full of our memories, full of her, I know I was pathetic for keeping her stuff but I couldn't let them go. Especially now that I knew how alone I would be, and I would need anything left of her to keep my strength to breathe at least.

I would be alone and in misery for the rest of my life.

"EDWARD!" I jumped in my seat, coming out of my musings only to meet my father's glare.

"Shit dad, you scared me!" Emmet complained but dad ignored him, we continued to glare at each other.

I knew what was coming next so I stood up abruptly and took a turn to leave then I heard my father's chair scrapping while he stood up too.

"Edward! You are not leaving I'm still talking to you!"

"Try me." I muttered.

I was passing the living room and about to reach the foyer when I heard a lot of different foot steps behind me. I turned around and saw dad first, behind him the rest of my family. Where they really going to stop me by force?

"What more do you want? STOP FUCKING PUSHING ME! I tried Ok? I tried, sorry if I don't fit in your perfect happy fucking bubble anymore! I did my best, I'm done with this shit, I didn't even want to try! Alice forced me, sorry if I made you think otherwise!" I screamed at dad.

"You call that trying? Coming home and sitting around while doing nothing? You didn't even utter a word the whole fucking meal! Damn it Edward, have you seen yourself in a mirror lately? Do you know what has become of yourself? This is not my son!" He screamed pointing at me.

"Carlisle…" Mom pleaded with him.

"No Esme, it has been _four fucking years! _I had enough of this shit! He needs to move on, it's ridiculous!" Shit, he never swears.

"RIDICULOUS? You know what's fucking ridiculous? That's been _four fucking years_ and you still don't get it! I CHEATED ON HER!... DON'T YOU GET THAT? I cheated on her on _OUR FUCKING WEDDING DAY_!"

My head was spinning, tears falling down my cheeks and my breath caught in my throat when I realized what I had just said. It was the first time I had said that word aloud and it felt even worse. It made it real, my actions, had been real. I cheated on her.

Everybody became silent I never talked about that day, even less about my actions or feelings about it. I took a deep breath to regain my bearings and started to speak slowly again.

"I _humiliated_ her… _embarrassed_ her… _betrayed_ her, _hurt _her, _made_ her less in the cruelest way ever, how do you expect someone to continue when that person knows he has hurt the only person he vowed never to hurt like that? Don't be hypocrites for fuck sakes! You" I pointed at dad "told me yourself you were disappointed in me, you looked me in the eye that fucking day and told me I disappointed you and treated me like crap for months! You made me feel like you preferred that I was dead instead of Andrew! You told me I didn't deserve what I had! Why are you so fucking pushy! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!" he flinched and looked down, something passed across his eyes but I ignored it.

"And you," I turned to Alice "you didn't talk to me for months either! So don't come now and tell me I need to forgive myself, because you couldn't even do it until something bad happened to me. You all knew what I did was wrong. Why now the sudden change? Why is suddenly everybody having the urge for me to see a fucking doctor or to open up? You were all fine ignoring me too, just doing the random check up and shit! Why NOW?"

"Edwar-" Mom started.

"Don't even start with the "_we worry about you"_ crap. I have told you time after time I knew what I was getting myself into. Why is everybody ambushing me now?" I turned to dad "Talks? Talking behind my back to Heidi? Watching my every move?" then pointed at mom "visits to the clinic" then Alice "Tim fucking Horton's' stalking? Brunch kidnappings? Why the sudden urge for me to come out of my shell? I don't want to! It's hard enough to know you all are continuing with your lives, I don't want to actually see it, it's too much! I know it's selfish but that's the only way I can cope with my day, I will NEVER be whole! EVER! Why it is so hard for you to understand that? Why make this harder? Just leave me ALONE FOR FUCK SAKES!"

My head was pounding so hard with all the screaming, I don't think I have said so many words in a while, aside from when I was talking to a patient's parent. Alice was sniffing, mom sobbing, and dad was… guilty? Very guilty. Everybody else was just avoiding my gaze. What the fuck? They weren't saying anything back at me.

I studied them slowly, something was off.

I remembered my own words, I passed them through my head again, I had said them without thinking but now that I thought of them, something had been spot on.

Dad's attempts to talk to me at the clinic, his worry about Angela's visit, Alice's sudden intervention, the look she had during our talk, mom coming to the clinic, Emmet's tension when I called him, I had thought it was because he wasn't used to me calling and thought something happened to me, but if something had happened to me, I wouldn't be able to call, right? Jasper's seriousness towards me and Rose's lack of bitching. Then there was that sudden going on too. What the hell was with that?

And now they were all coming after me when I tried to run away, dad had lost his self, he had yelled and what I thought it had been pure anger I could also tell now there was fear in his eyes, more than worry, he feared something. He was desperate.

Did he fear something would happen to me? I had told them again and again that I wouldn't pull off a stunt like the last one. They knew it had mostly been an accident, I didn't actually want to die literally, I was dead already anyways.

They knew I had worked something up in my head, I was eyeing them wary and I instantly knew they were keeping something from me.

But I didn't dare to ask.

"Alice…" Jasper suddenly murmured, she looked at him with terrified pleading eyes.

"Tell him." He said

Alice just shook her head. Begging him.

"Alice, he deserves to know. He _needs_ to."

"Jasper…"

"If you don't tell him, I will" he interrupted her.

…

…

…

"Tell me what?" I heard myself say.

"It's nothing, I'm not even su-"

"DAMN IT ALICE TELL ME NOW!" I yelled, she took a step back and clutched Jasper's arm.

I was losing my patience, what did I need to know?

"Edward…" dad started but I cut him off.

"I'm speaking to Alice! What do I fucking need to know?" I glared at her.

I know I didn't want to know, but for some reason I couldn't not know, I just had to ask. Apparently I had some masochistic tendencies.

"Edward… honey calm down, perhaps-"

"ALICE!" I screamed again through clenched teeth.

"SHE MOVED ON OK?" Rosalie suddenly yelled at me.

I only stared at her, my brain not wanting to process this.

…

…

"I'm sorry, but she did and it's time for you to do it too, if she did it you should be able to do it too." She said, but even though she tried to keep herself in check I could see the pity in her cold eyes.

…

…

…

Suddenly all air left me when a realization hit me. It came like a meteor on full speed and force and hit me right on my chest, making me breathless and burying me in the center of the earth.

Her stuff.

I had thought the reason why I kept them was because I didn't want to get rid of the memories, that I didn't want to make our relationship disposable, replaceable, that I didn't want to forget her. But now… I realize that the real reason behind all that was because I still had hope, I still hoped that one day she'll knock on my door and take me back. That one day we would have the opportunity to continue our journey together, that she would come back to me and show me the way, that she would take me out of this hole I'm in, that she would give me _one more chance, _to let me make things right for her. I realized I never really gave up on her, that I have been waiting for her all this time.

I've been such a fool.

I turned to Alice and I begged her with my eyes to please tell me fucking Rose was lying, that I heard wrong.

She couldn't meet my eyes, instead she stared down at the floor.

…

…

…

"I'm so sorry Edward…" she sniffed and looked at me, her eyes were full of pain and dread of what she was about to say. "I saw her a couple of weeks ago… she didn't see me but… she wasn't… _alone_… she was wi-"

I had heard enough.

I turned around and walked out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Sooo, who else wants to go after Eddie boy and hug him, and comfort him, and sooth him, and caress him, and kiss him, and touch him... I'll better stop there.<strong>

**Who do you think Alice saw Bella with? What's up with Carlisle?**

**PLEASE PLEAS PLEASE! LEAVE ME A REVIEW! if I get enough I swear I'll have another chap ready within 3 days ;)**

**Thanks again for reading! remember english is not my first language, so have patience with me there... also, THANKS AGAIN FOR READING!**

**saludos!**

**tpec**


	5. Chapter 5: Someone Like You

**HELLO! Sorry for taking so long, but I got back to school this week and you know how that gets... anyway, I have some news! I finally got a BETA! So no more worries about misused words and stuff! So this chapter is dedicated to her and her amazing work! thank you so much Cattinson, the twi-gods sent you my way!**

**Also I wanna say thanks to everyone who reviewed! it really makes my day and motivates me to continue with this story...**

**Also, my awesome beta is helping me to correct the grammar and spelling mistakes from the first 4 chapters if you wanna go and re-read them, I already re-uploaded Chap. 1 if you wanna check that out.**

**BTW... I really think you should listen to the chapters song before or after reading it... this cover is beautiful! and I love this band... **

**http: / / www. you tube .com / watch?v=HzC2-GJu1Q8**

**I don't own anything, character belong to SM... I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 5. Someone Like You<p>

"_**Someone Like You" – Boyce Avenue**_

_I heard that you're settled down,_

_That you found a boy and you're married now,_

_I heard that your dreams came true,_

_Guess he gave you things I didn't give to you,_

_Old friend, why are you so shy?_

_Ain't like you to hold back or hide from the light,_

_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,_

_But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,_

_I had hoped you'd see my face,_

_And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,_

_Never mind, I'll find someone like you,_

_I wish nothing but the best for you, too,_

_Don't forget me, I beg,_

_I remember you said,_

_"Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead,"_

_Sometimes it lasts in love,_

_But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah,_

_You know how the time flies,_

_Only yesterday was the time of our lives,_

_We were born and raised in a summer haze,_

_Bound by the surprise of our glory days._

I've been an idiot. Why was I so blind? Why didn't I see? The pain wouldn't be less of course, but at least I would have been prepared. I've been waiting for her all this time. I never moved anything of her stuff because I thought she would come back and we would go on with our lives.

Together.

I never moved on because I was waiting for her. Unconsciously my heart was doing the opposite of what reason told me to do. I had hoped that our love was so strong that she would eventually come back… WHY DIDN'T I SEE! Why didn't I realize this sooner! I thought I have made peace with what the future held for me, but it turns out that a part of me still waited for her.

As I rounded the corner I hailed the first cab I saw.

"High Park" I told to the driver.

I couldn't go home now, or Tim Hortons for that matter, they surely will be looking for me, and since I shut off my phone they would go on a hunt to all my common places. They would search for me at home and Tim Hortons. Lame, I know. Plus, I didn't want to go; the last place I wanted to be right now would be a place that reminded me of her. I needed to be alone. I needed to go numb as soon as possible or I would go mad at any second. The pain was too much, too strong, it has reached impossible scales. Rivers were already falling down my cheeks and I was trying which was next to impossible, not to sob in a cab with a stranger. But by the glances he was giving me I could tell he noticed something was wrong but had the decency to remain quiet.

She moved on.

Fuck.

_She moved on._

I know I should be happy for her… and I was, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Fuck there should be a new word for the kind of pain I was feeling. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, even the motherfucker who was with her now. He must be a good man -not like me of course- to have won her over. But I knew no matter how much of a good man he is, he would never deserve her. The man who deserves her hasn't been and would never be born. She was the most precious thing that would ever walk on this earth.

And for some fucked up reason I had her, and I screwed up.

I'm an idiot. No, I'm more than that, but there are no words to describe me. My idiocy is beyond this world.

What would I do now? I honestly don't know how to live without her. The past years have been proof enough of that. How did she do it? Where is she? Why did I look for her for almost two years and walked through the city for four and never ran into her, not once? How or where did Alice see her? Why didn't I have the chance to see her one more time? Why didn't I have the chance to change my last memory of her… into a happy one?

The last memory I had from her was of her running away from me, sad, hurt, scared… humiliated… disappointed.

Then, I knew for sure I wanted to see her… one last time, to make sure she was happy, to make sure she was in good hands. She didn't need to know, just for my sanity I needed to be sure she would be all right, that she had her happily ever after. Even if seeing her with someone else would be the end of me, I would end… _satisfied_. Because she did it, she found her happiness. It didn't really matter what happened to me, as long as she was happy.

As I said before, I had masochistic tendencies.

The cab parked at the north entrance of High Park, close to my house. I threw him a hundred dollar bill and got out. I followed one of the paths and lost myself in the small forest in the middle of the city. It was quiet, I could tell rain was about to fall. The weather was humid and I could see big gray clouds in the sky.

Great. Just what I needed.

Finally I got to the place I wanted to go. I reached the hidden path, moved away some branches and followed it. After a few minutes I entered into a small meadow I discovered a couple of years ago. I don't think a lot of people knew about it. The path that led to it wasn't very smooth and it was difficult to see unless you knew about it. I came across it by accident. I walked to the middle of the meadow and sat on the grass, suddenly I felt the first drops of rain on my face.

What did I ever do to deserve this? How could it happen to me? You would think that with my IQ I wouldn't have been so stupid in the first place and wouldn't go out the night before my wedding, but turns out I wasn't as smart as most people thought.

I looked at the darkening sky and sighed.

God I missed her.

As if I wasn't in hell already, why not to make the most of it?

So I did what I have forbidden myself from doing for years. I remembered.

I remembered the way her kisses tasted, the way she would always look at me and out of nowhere she would say she loved me, how she would rolled her eyes at my stupid comments or the way she would smile at me when I did something nice for her, like opening the door for her or get her an Apple Danish. I loved the way she would hum while stretching every morning, how she would turn to me and kiss me good morning, how she would make breakfast for me while I took my morning shower, how she would sit next to me while I played piano for her. I even taught her chopsticks once. I remembered how her hips would move while attempting to dance. I remembered her face, every single plane and angle. She was perfect. Beautiful.

I missed her, I missed our life together, I missed doing simple things for her, I missed picking her up after her late classes, I missed kissing her goodbye every morning, I missed getting her coffee every day, I missed her visits at the clinic, I missed watching Friends with her, going to the grocery store, taking care of her when she was sick. I missed kissing her nose when she was moody, her temple when she had headache, her lips when she said she loved me. I missed fooling around with her, making fun of her, making love to her.

I missed her body, the warmth of it, how she would curl up against me when she was cold, how she would lay her head on her spot, how the smallest things would turn her on or make her blush. I missed her, all of her, I missed Bella, and I missed my life. She was, is and always be my life.

I missed her, so much.

Her voice. Oh my god, her voice.

Her voice was forever recorded on my memory, I could play it wherever and whenever I wanted, her laugh, her giggles, her horrible singing, everything, I still remembered everything of our life together but I didn't allow to myself to ever think of her the way I'm doing now. It hurt too much, I know later at night I would regret giving me this chance, but I couldn't help myself, it was as if I opened a door and suddenly everything came back in full force knocking me out… hearing something about her today, for the first time after 4 years did that to me.

I missed her, I needed her.

But I couldn't have her, I'll never have her again, and still, I only wished I could see her one more time. To save one last memory of her, smiling, I needed to know she had her happy ending, no matter what it will do to me, I needed to know.

But, where was she? Perhaps I'll never get my chance. I'll have to learn to live with that. I didn't deserve it otherwise.

As the rain started to pick up, I brought my knees to my chest and rested my forehead on them.

"What did I do?" I cried. "I can't... can't stand it anymore… where are you? Just… please, one more time… just one... that's all I ask…" I was still sobbing.

I was pathetic. Crying alone? In the middle of a fucking meadow? In the pouring rain? What was wrong with me? Was I part of some Nicholas Spark's novel? Seriously Cullen you have lost the last of dignity you had…

But I didn't really care anymore. I didn't care about dignity, pride or what the fucks. I was already screwed up anyway.

When I heard a thunder I decided it was better to go home. I checked my watch and realized it was later than I thought. I got up and started my walk back home, rain erasing my tears. A few minutes later I was stepping into my foyer I dropped my keys on a nearby table and headed upstairs to take a hot shower. Thankfully my family wasn't here waiting for me on my living room, but I did catch a glimpse of a piece of paper on the table where I left the keys. I'll read it later.

After my shower, I pulled some old sweats on and a sweater. With the rain, even though it was mid august, the weather was chilly. I walked back into my room and threw myself on my bed, not caring about having dinner or calling someone to let them know where I was. I didn't want to talk to anybody I just wanted to be alone. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

><p>The constantly ringing of the doorbell woke me up I glanced at the clock and saw that 2 hours had passed since I fell asleep. I ignored it and closed my eyes.<p>

_Riiing… riiing!_

"Go away!" I shouted to whoever was annoying the fuck out of me.

_Riiiing… riiing!_

Fucker was persistent.

With a groan I stood up and went down stairs. I looked through the peek hole of the door and saw Jasper. Well, it was better than any other of my options. I opened my door and motioned him to come in with my head. He nodded and stepped inside, dripping small drops of rain on the wooden floor. He took off his jacket and hung it in the coat closet next to the entry door and turned to me.

"Beer?" he asked, I nodded.

This is what I liked about Jasper, he would never push, and his presence would only calm me and make me relax. He didn't need words to tell me he was here for me_ if I_ wanted to talk. If I chose not to, he would just hang around making me company, making sure I didn't do anything stupid. We met in college, he was my roommate at the dorms of U of T. We hit it off immediately and become best friends. On my birthday I invited him to my party at my parents' house, there he met Alice and they had been joined at the hip since then.

He walked to my kitchen like he owned the fucking house and I followed him, he passed me a beer and got himself one. Then we sat on the breakfast table. He was giving me my space, he was giving me time to get my wits together so I could talk to him about today.

If I wanted to.

I knew I had to, this couldn't be healthy anymore, I had so much to say but I was afraid I would break down again, not because I didn't want to cry in front of a guy but because I didn't want to cry again today. I seemed that the only thing I did lately was cry like a fucking pussy girl, and I hated it, even if I didn't care at the moment.

We have been sitting at the breakfast table for a while now. He was quiet, going through some magazine that had been at the table.

"Why didn't you tell me until today?" I asked quietly after a few more minutes.

"We were afraid of your reaction." He answered still not looking at me, he knew I was never comfortable with the looks everybody gave me.

…

…

"I don't want to hear specifics just... did she look happy?" I asked tentatively.

"I guess…" then he looked at me "I didn't see her, but Alice told me she was… _tranquil?_" he said doubting, looking at some spot on the table scrunching his eyebrows "... just enjoying the day at the beach." He finished more sure of himself and looked back at me.

The beach, she had been at the beach. She always liked it there, she loved the sun.

"Ok... that's all I want to know."

"As you wish." He said and turned to his magazine.

…

…

"I'm sorry." He murmured.

I nodded and emptied my bottle of beer, after that I stood up, went to the fridge and grabbed another one. When I came back to the table he arched an eyebrow at me and motioned to the new bottle I had just put in front of me. I rolled my eyes.

Fuck! Give me a fucking break already, I learned my lesson!

"I'm fine." I told him curtly.

He continue to stare at me in the eyes for a few seconds, looking for whatever he was looking for and turned back to his magazine.

Damn, it seemed I'll have a babysitter for the night.

Fuck. What the hell.

"Do you want pizza?" I asked.

"Sure." He answered, never leaving his eyes from the magazine. I grabbed my phone and after a quick call to Pizza Pizza I headed upstairs grabbed a book from my music/studio room and rejoined Jasper at the breakfast table.

As I said, this was what I liked about Jasper, he -as Rosalie- knew what I needed, he didn't push anything out of me, he knew I would talk whenever I was ready or do what I needed.

Half an hour later, the pizzas arrived and we ate quietly. Four years ago we would have moved to the living room to watch some T.V. or would be talking about our day, but he knew I couldn't stand T.V. anymore and that I wouldn't want to talk about today. So after finishing our pizzas I talked again.

"So, did they send you to babysit me for the night?" I asked.

"No, I'm here on my own. Your mom came earlier... she didn't want to leave, she was worried because you didn't answer your phone so I told her to go home, that I could handle you." He winked when he said the last part and I let out an exasperated sigh.

Fucker.

"Jasper, you don't have to, seriously... you can go. I'm not stupid, I won't do that again."

"I know you won't."

I looked at him confused.

"Then why are you still here?" I asked annoyed, I wanted to be alone.

"Well, besides of the fact that I love to feel unwelcome" he said sarcastically making me grimace "I promised your mom I will make sure you were Ok, I told her I'll watch after you personally all night."

"Sorry... I didn't mean it like that... It's just... I don't want to be look after, Ok? You all have to stop breathing over my neck. I'm not a child for fuck's sake!"

"Then don't act like one." He said matter-of-factly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What I said, don't act like one."

"I still don't understand." I said, patience getting the best of me.

He was quiet for a minute.

"Do you really wanna hear it?"

I nodded, he sighed.

...

...

"You have to let her go." He said quietly.

I stiffened.

_I didn't want to hear it._

"Edward, you don't have to tell me how much it hurts, I _know_, I can see it in your eyes. I know you feel guilty and that you blame yourself. I know that's what kills you the most, that it was your fault, but you have to _man up_, learn from your mistakes and let her go. I'm not saying that you have to forget her, but that you have to let her go. _You can't keep waiting for her_."

How did he know?

He understood my unspoken question.

"Edward, look around... it's as if she was still here. Her mug is still on the sink for crying out loud! We are not stupid, we know what you've been doing, even if you didn't, we know you _are_ still waiting for her. Edward, she's never going to come back... I'm sorry man."

I pulled at my hair in frustration, they had known, they have been watching me all this years. They have been seeing me hopelessly waiting for her, destroying myself while doing it. It was like watching a movie, the hopeless pussy romantic guy waiting for his lost love to take him back, which she always did. But this wasn't fucking a movie, even less a love story, this was real life and real life sucked, there wasn't a hero, a perfect man or a fucking prince charming, instead... there was me. A crazy, creepy, suicidal, obsessed, love sick guy who desperately and stupidly kept her things on the same place after four years, waiting for her after what he did. He thought she'll come back, stupid guy, I know.

Four fucking years.

"But... there is one thing you can do... I know... I know you wish you had the chance to make things right for her. Well, Edward... you still can, by being the man she believed you where, by being the man she fell in love with. If she saw you now she would not only dislike what she would see, but she will also be disappointed. She believed you strong, confident, sure of yourself. _Be that man_. She _knew you_, she knows you made a mistake, that you didn't do it on purpose. Prove her right, prove her you are not a weak selfish asshole like the one you think you are, and to prove her that you are _that_ man. Do it for her... even if she can't see you, she deserves that. What you did... that's not you. You are not that man you are not a cheater or a play boy. She knows that."

He paused to take a breath, stood up and emptied his bottle of beer. When he was done, he put the bottle on the sink. Then turned to me.

"Let her go... don't do it for your family, do it for her. I'm not telling you to forget her I'm telling you learn, stand up and continue. Make yourself worthy of loving her. You know you did wrong, you learned your lesson by losing her, stop punishing yourself with all this memories of her and your behaviour, you can't keep waiting... Let her go. It's time."

* * *

><p>Jasper didn't stay the night after all. After our one sided conversation, he left me with a lot to think. He knew that would keep me safe for a while. When I woke up the next morning, I made an impulsive decision and called Heidi to postpone or cancel all my appointments from Monday until Wednesday after lunch because I was going to the convention in Ottawa, which was on Tuesday. After the 40 minute flight I hailed a cab to take me to the Fairmont hotel which was where I'll be staying and where the convention will be held. After leaving my suit case in my room I headed outside for a walk through the city. I needed to think.<p>

What Jasper said made me question a lot of things. He said I had to make myself worth of her. He had also said that I have to let her go. Did that mean I have to get rid of her things?

Just the thought made my insides shrink. I couldn't do it. I needed her stuff, I needed her presence. Now that I knew what I had been doing and that she had in fact moved on, it didn't really matter the real reason why I still had them. I just knew I needed them around me. They kept me breathing, knowing she was somewhere out there. She was part of my life, she had loved me. She had been mine.

But I fucked it up.

Damn it Edward! How can you've been so reckless, such an idiot? WHY DID YOU STAY! Why didn't you listen to yourself for once? You knew you shouldn't have stayed, you knew you shouldn't have gone out in the first place!

DAMN IT! What the fuck happened? Why can't I remember how did fucking Tanya ended up in my bed? Why was she even at the bar? Wasn't she supposed to be in New York? That was what Kate said, according to Alice.

But I couldn't really blame Tanya, I still made the choice to stay, she just happened to be there, but... did she hop in the cab with me? Did I ask her to come with me? How did it happen? I never talked to her after that morning, so I couldn't ask her, even if I wanted to Carmen and Eleazar sent her away. She was so much trouble they didn't want to have her in the city anymore. They were ashamed of her, not just because of what happened that day, even though that was the catalyst for them to do something about her, but because of some other stuff she had done. Something about DUI and only god knows what, and her mom, Carmen, being part of the Toronto's elite society and that crap didn't want to know anything more about her, she was ashamed of her troublesome daughter so her dad, Eleazar sent her to some rehab clinic in Vancouver.

Anyway, it wouldn't make a difference to know what happened. Maybe it would only make things worse, to know exactly _how_ it happened.

I crossed the street and saw that on the corner was a Chapters book store. I sighed and headed in, I need something to kill time. When I crossed the entry way I asked a salesman for the novels section. He told me to go to the second floor and then to go right.

I was standing in front of the classic novels and a certain book caught my eyes.

Fuck.

_The water started to boil so I turned off the stove, grabbed her mug and poured the water on it. _

"_Bella? Do you want coffee or tea?" I called at her._

_She was upstairs, curled up in my bed. It was Sunday in the middle of January, it was freaking cold outside so there was no way we were going out. My pretty girl wasn't a cold weather person._

"_Hot chocolate!" She answered back, I had to laugh._

_I took a little bag of instant hot cocoa and poured it into her mug, swirling it with a spoon. When it was done, I grabbed my coffee and headed back to the stairs taking them two at a time. I wanted to be back to my girl as soon as possible. When I entered the room I had to laugh at the sight in front of me. _

_My girl was wrapped up in our quilt like a small cocoon, gloves and hat on. Her beautiful face was hidden in a book._

"_Wuthering Heights? Really? Don't you know it by heart already?" I teased her._

"_Shut up." She said without tearing her eyes from the pages in front of her._

_I put the mug on her bedside table kissed her forehead and stared at her for a second. She was gorgeous, even with only two of my old sweaters on, her pyjama pants and a pair of gloves that make me think of rainbow lollipops, she was out of this world. I could see the small bump on her finger where her engagement ring was hidden by the gloves. I smiled to myself. _

_Seven months Cullen... seven more months and she'll be yours... forever._

_You are a lucky bastard. You know, right?_

_I grabbed another thick quilt from the linen closet at the hallway and headed back to her. I threw the blanket over us and cuddled next to her, resting my chin on her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her. She leaned her head on mine and hummed._

"_Thanks." She said, put her book on her bedside table and turned to me, burying her cold nose on my chest. "You are warm." She sighed._

"_Well... I don't want my fiancé to have a missing toe on our wedding day." I teased making her giggle._

"_I think we will be alright. In the worst case scenario you could just stitch it up again." She smiled at me and kissed my nose. "You are a doctor after all."_

"_I don't think it works like that honey."_

"_Well, it's a good thing I'm not having cold feet then." She said wriggling her eyebrows._

"_I hope so." I said and kissed her cold lips, warming them up, slowly sucking her bottom lip._

"_Mmmmhmmm..." She moaned when my tongue entered her mouth, her hands going immediately to my hair, making me groan. I loved when she did that, it felt so fucking amazing even with her gloves on._

_We continued kissing for a while, her lips going from blue to pink. I was starting to get hot in here. She untangled one of her legs and hitched it around my hip._

"_Are you too cold?" I asked hopefully, I could feel my cock starting to wake up. Damn it, this wasn't the best time for a cold shower._

"_Yes," she said, smirking at my pout and then grinding her hips against me. Little fucker. "But you know what? You did a wonderful job with my mouth... why don't __**I **__try it somewhere else?" _

The ringing of my phone brought me out of my musings.

Dad. Shit.

"I'm fine." I answered.

"Edward?"

Who the fuck else?

"Yes dad, it's me I'm alive. Woohoo." I said without humour.

"Stop it. Where are you? Why aren't you at the clinic?" he said, urgency on his voice.

"I'm in Ottawa, didn't Heidi tell you?"

"Yes, she did... but, are you really there?" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Yes dad, I'm here, I'm not escaping to plan my death or something. I'm fine."

"Don't be like that, you didn't tell anyone you were leaving, and after the way you took off yesterday what did you expect us to think?" I winced.

"Shit dad! I'm screwed up, not suicidal. Get over it, it was a fucking accident!" I heard someone hush me.

I didn't fucking care.

"Sorry... I know... it's just you never miss a day, so I was _concerned_. You never called back or answered our messages."

"I'm fine, I'm in Ottawa staying at the Fairmont, and my room number is 1901 on the 9th floor to the right. I don't have a balcony so I won't jump from one and there is a non alcoholic policy at the convention. Do you need anything else?" I said harshly, frustration and annoyance getting the best of me.

"When are you coming back?"

"Wednesday morning. I'll be at the clinic by after lunch."

"Ok, see you then. Take care son call me if you need anything."

I hung up.

I shut my eyes, brought my thumb and index finger to the bridge of my nose and let out a frustrated sigh.

What I fucking need is for everyone to fucking leave me alone.

I continued to scan the shelves but nothing caught my interest so I left the store.

Let her go...

How do I do that? I'm not even sure what it means. The only thing I know is that I'll never forget her. She is too important she was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. How could I let her go? How do you expect me to let her presence go? I know that was what kept me from moving on, that her presence was everywhere, even if I didn't acknowledge it, she was there. Somehow she was still with me.

_She was everywhere because she was everything to me._

How can you let someone go when that person is _everything_?

Damn it! I rubbed my chest forcefully, trying in vain to ease the pain. That fucking constant pain that would never cease, it was as if there was a fire in the hole where my heart used to beat, it was within me and it slowly burned everything inside me. Slowly and painfully.

I entered into my room and did something I shouldn't do and never did but I needed it, I needed the numbness, I needed to be unconscious for a while if I was going to be talking to doctors and fucking pharmacists later. I took a sleeping pill and threw myself onto my bed.

Alone.

Who cares.

* * *

><p>The pill knocked me out for more time than I thought, probably because I wasn't used to them. It was dawn when I woke again, I had missed the welcoming dinner for the convention.<p>

Good.

It was a little before six, the convention was at 10 am on the main congress room. I still had a lot of time so I went to the gym, without counting that time with Emmett, I hadn't worked out for more than a week. I put on my gym clothes and went downstairs. There were a couple other people in the treadmill so I headed for the weights.

Forty minutes later I was sitting on a bench taking a break. A hotel employee handed me a bottle of water and after thanking him I swallowed all of it. There were more people at the gym by now and I don't know why, but I had that eerie feeling of someone watching me. When I lifted my head to look around I saw a brunet on the treadmill whirling her head around quickly. I couldn't see her face completely, but I could tell she was blushing at being caught checking me out.

It immediately reminded me of her, she would always blush when I caught her staring. I thought it was adorable, she was so innocent and it was a fucking turn on.

Speaking of which, I briefly wondered if I'll ever be ready for _that_... after all it was _that_ that got me into this mess. I just couldn't see myself going out with someone, I couldn't do it, it was wrong and made me feel selfish, like I didn't have any respect for what I did and a hooker wasn't an option. It was also one of them who got me into this situation.

I threw the empty bottle into the nearest garbage can, put a sweater on and went back to my suite. Once there, I saw that a tray with breakfast was on the living room, I chewed a few pieces of fruit and then headed to the bathroom in the bedroom.

By 9:30 am I was ready, I was wearing a grey suit with a white shirt underneath. No tie and one missed button at the top. She loved when I wore suits like that, she said it was fuck hot I only did it because it was more comfortable, but after her confession I wore it like that just to tease her. I looked at myself in the full length mirror behind the door at the bathroom, passed my fingers through my hair and sighed.

I stepped into the lobby and saw a table with the convention's logo and name on it, there were a lot of people nearby. Behind the table sat a girl, whom I immediately recognized as the girl at the gym. She was wearing a black suit and her nametag read Lauren. She was taking list of the people in attendance and giving them a personalized nametag for the convention. I walked and stood in front of her, she lifted her eyes from the list and her eyes widened a little bit in surprise.

"Good morning." She said after clearing her throat. "Are you here for the OPA's convention?"

"Yes, I'm Dr. Cullen." Her eyes widened.

"Oh! You must be Dr. Carlisle Cullen's son, right?" She said standing up.

"Yes, that's me." She stretched her hand towards me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard so much about you too. Edward, right? My name is Lauren Mallory, I met your Dad last week, I'll be doing my residency program at St. Andrew's clinic." We shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well." I answered as politely as I could, I was getting uncomfortable with the way she was eyeing me. She smiled back at me and I dropped my hand.

"So, here is your nametag, the convention starts in fifteen minutes in the main congress room, the seats are reserved, you are in the second row in seat number 8, there will be coffee, tea and snacks at the back if you want."

"Thank you." I said and hang the tag around my neck. She gave me some flyers a pen and a notepad with the Ontario Pharmacists' Association logo on it.

As I thought, the convention didn't bring anything I already didn't know. When it was over, everybody headed for the hotel's restaurant, there were about two hundred and fifty people, too much people for my liking and I was sick of people I didn't know coming to talk to me and ask me about my _surprising_ curriculum and other shit. After all there weren't many 29 year old _doctor's_ with the degrees, diplomas, medical research and shit that I had. They also asked me about my dad and about stuff he had done recently. Some of them even asked why I hadn't written or contributed anything for the Doctor's journal the past four years.

"I've been busy." Was my only answer.

After lunch, I couldn't take it anymore I needed air so I got the hell out of there. I didn't want to go to my room instead I went to the Major's Hill Park which was across from the hotel. The park was outstanding there were flowers and trees everywhere.

I followed a path and walked slowly, for once enjoying what I saw. The weather was nice, warm but not too hot. I watched the kids play and run, chasing squirrels, going after other kids. I could see elder people sitting on benches, enjoying the sun, sharing ice cream with their old partners and marveling at the view of the canal in front of them. Adults where lying on the grass, taking in the sun. There was so much life going on around me, and I wish I could be part of it.

I envied them, all of them. Even the old fat guy at the ice cream stand, he had a genuinely smile on his face while handing a young couple their cones. I was missing so much. It was exactly like last Sunday, when I saw how happy my family was, how they were living their future and full filling their dreams. I was seeing what I lost. I was seeing what life could have been.

I saw a man sitting in the shadow underneath a maple tree reading a book, a woman resting her head on his lap while sleeping. I wondered if that would have been us, if I hadn't fucked up.

A single tear fell from one of my eyes. I wiped it with my right hand.

It hurt so much to see all this love, happiness and joy around me, but at the same time I couldn't take my eyes away. Something was pulling me, maybe because I knew I'll never have it, so all I could do was watch… and pretend.

Do I dare to pretend? To wish? Suddenly visions of us filled my brain. There was me and her, sitting down at a tree, we would be reading together as we often did, with my head on her lap while she played with my hair. I never got too far into my book when she did that, as I would always fall asleep. Another vision, us, grey haired sitting on a bench sharing an iced tea. Then there was another one, another one that took my breath away, instead of the two of us, there were three of us, it was me… chasing a beautiful brunet kid, while she prepared a picnic on the grass next to the playground.

I could tell my hands were trembling, and I was doing the best I could to keep composed. I continued my walk down the graveled path.

A kid. A beautiful boy.

Andrew, I know I haven't talked to you in a while, years… to be exactly, I'm sorry, I know I've been so selfish… but… I hope you know I wish you were still here. You always told me what to do, you were the leader. You knew me better than anyone. You were so happy. You shouldn't have to go, it should've been me. I'm useless. I'm worth nothing. Why was life so unfair? First, I lost you, then… her. I hadn't realized how much I really missed you until now. I feel so alone. We were a team, always together.

Why did I suddenly get so overwhelmed by my deceased brother? I thought I was over his death. It took me a lot of fucking time to stop calling him at night while sleeping, when I was afraid or sad he would always come and make me feel better.

Suddenly, I didn't feel alone anymore. It was strange, like if out of nowhere he was here. Call me crazy, but I had this eerie felling of a pull. I followed it.

Andrew, I'm lost… help me. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to handle my family, how to continue with my life… how to let her go. Please, I can't talk to anyone, nobody really understands, they only give opinions and judge. I wish you had been there, when I needed you the most, and I probably need you more now. We were so much alike, you would have understood, you would have known what to do or say. You would have had an answer.

I guess I haven't thought about you so much these past years because there is only so much pain I could handle. I'm sorry. I'm fucked up. I just wish I had a chance, I wish I had one more chance… with her, I need her, and I need to see her. There is no other thing I want more. Please… help me, what would you do? Would you let her go? Would you look for her? Would you move on? Would you fight? But… what there is to fight for? She left, she didn't want me anymore.

I took in a shaky breath. I could feel a not in my throat, not now Cullen.

Please Andrew… help me. What do I do?

Suddenly I felt someone crash against me. I turned quickly to steady myself and saw a mess of long mahogany hair.

"SHIT!" she yelped stepping backwards. But it was too late as her beverage spilled all onto herself.

I couldn't see her face she was looking down at herself, but somehow… my heart rate accelerated.

"Damn, that was cold!" She screamed, trying to separate her damped shirt from her stomach.

And I froze.

I knew that voice.

"Damn it! Are you blind?" she screamed and looked back at me.

Our eyes locked instantly.

I couldn't let them go. I had missed those eyes so much. I dreamt about them every night.

There were as big as saucers, I bet mine were the same.

…

Was I dreaming? Was this really happening?

…

I couldn't talk, she wasn't in better condition. When she realized what was happening she paled instantly, her hands started to shake.

"Bee-Bella?" I stammered.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a shaky voice and the pieces of my heart shattered when I realized what she had said.

_What are you doing here?_

She didn't want to see me.

"Uhmm… I came to the OPA's convention at the Fairmont…" I answered. I was amazed I could even think of an answer. My brain was in chaos.

Ottawa? What was she doing here? Did she live here? Was that why I never run into her before?

"Oh…" She said.

Her gaze fell behind my back, she was looking everywhere but me. I scanned her, she was wearing a deep blue sundress that fell underneath her knees, her hair fell on soft waves around her shoulders, and she was hardly wearing make-up and wore a pair of well used sandals.

She was breathtaking.

Her gaze returned to me. She was speechless… and… nervous?

"So… how… how are you?" I tried. My brain was still in chaos.

"Uhmm… fi-fine. Thank you."

…

"Do you live in Ottawa now?"

"Well, I-" She was about to say something but a flash of something small underneath us caught my attention.

A girl, a small girl, with a familiar auburn long hair came running towards her. She seemed small, but by the way she moved, even though I couldn't see her face, I could bet she was older than it looked.

"MOMMY! MOMMY!" Bella turned her frozen pale face to the girl.

…

I was… I don't know what I was… I just couldn't move, think or breathe.

…

Mommy? Bella was a mommy? That was impossible…

…

The girl continued to tug at Bella's dress

"Mommy can I get an ice cream? Please please? Pretty please?" The girl begged.

Bella couldn't talk, she stared at the girl and then at me, then at the girl again. Back and forth.

She was pale, her mouth open, trying to say something.

Then another flash of auburn, way shorter hair slam against Bella.

A boy.

"MOMMY! Can I get one too? Please! Please!"

…

…

What was going on here?

…

What was this feeling? What was this? What was this urge to see the kids faces? I started to feel that fucking pull again. A pull towards them.

Bella's wide eyes turned back to me, at the same time the kids turned around too.

And all breath left me.

…

…

…

Green, green was all I saw, two pairs of the greenest eyes I've ever seen.

…

The boy smiled a crooked smile and stretched his hand towards me.

"Hi! I'm Andrew!"

* * *

><p><strong>So, what do you think?<strong>

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	6. Chapter 6: Shattered

**HELLO GUYS! I'll be short... cause I know you are dying for what's next... just a quick thanks to a couple of people**

**LissLove: for recommending my fic on fictionators as pwn of the week! Girl, you are AWESOME! thanks a lot! and also thanks for your lovely reviews!**

**and finally my wonderful betta Cattinson, girl, I don't know what I would do without you! thank you soo much!**

**Also, a huge WELCOME to all my new readers! and I think I must warn you, even I cried while writing this chap.**

**BTW I love how some of you hate Bella for what she did and others think Edward deserves all the pain. It's interesting to see all your points of view and reasons.**

**Ok, I'll stop digressing now...**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 6. Storm<p>

"_**Shattered" – Trading Yestearday**_

_Losing what was found, a world so hollow__  
><em>_Suspended in a compromise__  
><em>_The silence of this sound is soon to follow__  
><em>_Somehow sundown__And finding answers__  
><em>_Is forgetting all of the questions we call home__  
><em>_Passing the graves of the unknown__As reason clouds my eyes, with splendor fading__  
><em>_Illusions of the sunlight__  
><em>_And the reflection of a lie will keep me waiting__  
><em>_Love gone for so long__This day's ending is the proof of time killing all the faith I know__  
><em>_Knowing that faith is all I hold__And I've lost who I am__  
><em>_And I can't understand__  
><em>_Why my heart is so broken__  
><em>_Rejecting your love__  
><em>_Without love gone wrong__  
><em>_Life,__less words,__carry on__But i know,__all i know__  
><em>_Is that the ends beginning__Who I am from the start__  
><em>_Take me home to my heart__  
><em>_Let me go,__and I will run__  
><em>_I will not be silenced__All this time spent in vain__  
><em>_Wasted years,__wasted gain__  
><em>_All is lost,__hope remains__  
><em>_And this war's not over_

_Green, green was all I saw, two pairs of the greenest eyes I've ever seen._

…

_The boy smiled a crooked smile and stretched his hand out towards me._

"_Hi! I'm Andrew!"_

…

…

I just stared at him. The entire world was spinning around me.

…

I was a statue I couldn't move, think or speak. This was impossible, I was imagining things… like the fake visions I was having just a few moments ago.

Staring at the boy, I found myself kneeling in front of him, don't ask how. Apparently my body decided to act without my knowledge. My brain was in chaos, nothing made sense. The kid had my undivided attention.

"He-e-hello… Andrew." I heard myself say while shaking the boy's little, soft hand.

A soft clearing of a throat made us look at the girl, who gave a pointed look to the boy.

"Oh! Sorry, this mah sister, Marie Esme." The girl beamed at me and a breath got caught in my throat.

This wasn't happening. I must be still asleep, how many pills did I take last night?

"Hi!" The girl said at me, waving shyly.

"I'm older." The boy suddenly added with a proud smile which made the girl roll her eyes at him in a very familiar way.

"Only by a few minutes." The girl muttered with a small pout that made my heart shrink.

"Still, I'm older." The boy wriggled his eyebrows at the girl mockingly.

"I'm smarter." The girl answered back lifting her chin, the boy opened and closed his mouth a couple of times.

"I'm older…" the boy said again stubbornly, they stared at each other challengingly.

…

"How… how old are you?" I said, my thoughts still didn't make sense.

"Three and a half!" The girl said cheerfully.

…

Three and a half…

…

I started to count months and years… as if looking at the kids wasn't evidence enough. I just couldn't believe it, this wasn't possible. She wouldn't have done that, right?

_Right?_

My eyes turned back to the boy and again, I got lost in the deep green forest of his eyes. A moment later I turned to the girl and the same thing happened.

All I saw were Esme's eyes… my mother's eyes.

_My_ eyes.

I turned to Bella, asking her with my eyes for help, to help me understand, to explain… what's going on? Her eyes were on mine too, and the look on them confirmed what my heart already knew. What I knew the instant I looked at the kids faces.

My heart started hammering so fast I thought it was going to give in at any second.

Oh my god.

_Oh. My. God._

A single tear fell from my left eye while I fought the sob that was threatening to escape me.

How could she?

_OH MY FUCKING GOD! _

HOW COULD SHE?

Shit! This is NOT happening!

My hand went to my chest, rubbing at the scorching pain there. I thought I knew pain like no other person in the whole universe, turns out it I was wrong again as it was nothing compared to what I felt now.

The fire I constantly felt in that hole in my chest increased tenfold. Burning everything that was inside me. The pain was too much, I wanted to scream, cry, run, hide… do anything to make this pain go away. How much pain can a person alone handle? I thought I have received enough pain this last four years to last a hundred fucking lifetimes.

Wasn't it enough? When was it going to be enough? How much pain is out there for fuck sakes?

I felt the invisible pull again and my gaze fell on the girl.

Marie Esme.

The girl was looking at me very intently, our eyes locked, like she was figuring out something, wondering something… she eyed me from head to toe a few times, I don't know how much time it passed but suddenly, something flashed in her eyes and a sweet smile spread on her little angel's face.

…

She was smiling at me, she looked happy.

…

"So… what's your name?" the boy asked bringing my attention back to him. There was genuine curious on his face.

"Andrew, Marie…" Bella interrupted before I could speak again "didn't you want something sweeties?" She was doing her best to control her voice, her eyes were glazed.

The boy forgot about his question and turned rapidly to his mom.

"Yes! Can I have an ice cream? Please mommy? PLEASE! I'll eat my veggies! I promise!" He pleaded, jumping up and down.

I took my wallet from my back pocket and handed the kid a twenty.

"He-he-re… go… get yourself and… and your sister one." I attempted to smile at him, but I knew it must have been something more like a grimace.

"Thanks!" He beamed at me, took the bill and ran in the direction of the stand. The girl remained for a few more moments, still looking at me in that strange way.

"Thank you." She said, leaned in to give me a peck on the cheek and followed his brother, who was already on a small bench leaning over the ice cream stand looking at all the flavors inside of it.

I stayed on my hunches, my eyes glued to them, a funny feeling on my cheek where the girl had kissed it. It felt amazing, warmth started to spread from that spot where she kissed me to all over my body, easing the pain for a few seconds.

It was the only thing that could bring me out of my stupor… or shock? Of finding out that… that I had… that I was…

A dad…

Shit…

A dad.

I was a dad…

Those were _my_ kids.

_Oh my god!_

_Twins!_

_FUCK! _

_I was a FUCKING DAD!_

_SHIT!_

Now that the kids where somewhere else, I let my tears fall free and covered my face with my hands…

"Why?" I whispered, barely able to open my mouth..

She didn't respond.

…

"Why?" I said louder, forcing myself to speak.

She didn't respond, so I looked at her and the sight pained me. Fuck. She was crying, looking down, she looked scared, ashamed, hurt, guilty… pained.

Fuck! I'm done with the fucking pain! Anger flared within me and I stood up.

"Did you hate me that much? Did you have to hurt me like this?"

"It wasn't like tha-"

"Then WHAT? Was this your idea of get back at me? Your idea of fucking justice? To keep something this important from me? What the hell were you fucking thinking?"

"OF COURSE NOT! I swear it wasn't like that! I was going to tell you!"

"WHEN? When they were in fucking college? Seriously Bella! WHAT WERE YOU THIKING? If this was you idea of fucking revenge, well… congratulations, you just fucking nailed it!"

"HUSH!" She motioned me to quiet my voice, people were staring and the kids were looking our way.

Fucking excellent.

"It wasn't like that." She said in a quieter tone. "Soon, I was planning to tell you soon… I swear, before they started school this fall… they… they asked for you." She looked down.

I looked back at them they were having a conversation between them. Giggling, they were giggling, devouring their ice cream, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. I saved it into my memory.

…

Shit

…

A Dad.

"What did you tell them… about me?" I asked curtly, trying to keep my temper in check.

"Whatever they asked… your name… that you were a doctor… that you live in Toronto."

…

"What about me… not being here… not… not knowing?"

She was quiet, I looked at her. She was staring at them too.

…

"They don't know that... I told them that you weren't here because… because you had to work. I _was_ planning on contacting you, soon… I swear." She was crying and covered her face with her hands. I could see guilt and shame on her face.

I passed my hands through my face and grabbed at my hair.

Fuck.

How did this happen?

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

I cleaned my tears away with the back of my hands.

"Why?" I asked angrily again. "Why did you do it?"

…

She sighed.

"I… I wasn't… _ready_… to see you. I thought… I needed time, but time passed quicker than I thought… Before I knew it, I was on… I was on labor… and it just got harder after that."

I scoffed.

"I can't believe you." I said harshly, turned around and walked towards a bench.

I sat on it and rested my forehead on my joined hands, elbows on my knees and closed my eyes.

All this time… all this time, she kept them from me all this time.

Suddenly the pain was replaced for pure anger. Anger for being so stupid, for not listening to my family, maybe if I hadn't been so self enclosed I would have found out sooner, anger towards fucking Tanya, anger towards everything and everyone, because apparently all the pain in the world was being directed at me right now. But above all… anger towards her. I fucking know I did wrong, fuck… all my self-punishment wasn't for nothing and I could understand to a _degree_ why she didn't tell me, but still… I couldn't help being angry at her. WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME? What if something had gone wrong? What about money? How did she manage? Why did she have to do this on her own? What was she trying to fucking prove? That she didn't fucking need me? That she was able to do it fucking alone? FUCK! I know she was capable of a lot of things, she was smart, strong and self sufficient, but still… having a baby, no… scratch that, TWO babies on her own is a whole other motherfucking thing!

God forbid but what if something had happened to her? Charlie was old and didn't even live on the fucking country. What would have been of them, and what about her? Being a single mom is hard, I have a lot of patients to prove it, and she was a single mom with TWO! Where does she work? Where did she get the money for all the doctors and shit? Did they live well? Do they have home cooked meals every day? Do they have a warm home in the winter? Do they have any needs? Are they healthy?

DAMN IT! I had a lot of questions!

I felt her sitting on the other side of the bench. I opened my eyes but I couldn't look at her. I didn't want to see her at this moment. Instead, I stared at the kids.

_My kids. _

Shit.

"I know you are mad at me…" She started to say.

I scoffed.

"You could say that again." I deadpanned.

She let out an exasperated sigh and turned her body towards me.

"Damn it Edward, could you hear me out please? Let me explain!"

"You didn't give _me_ the chance!" I spat but regretted it the moment I closed my mouth. I shut my eyes.

"I can't believe you just said that." She whispered.

Me neither, to be honest… it wasn't fair. I didn't need to explain anything because there wasn't anything to explain, I did something that was on impulse, I didn't make a decision on it. I just did it and don't even remembered how. She took a decision, and she must have had a reason, even if it wasn't reasonable or fair or if I liked it or not she had her reasons for doing what she did.

DAMN IT! Why?

I let out a sigh. I needed to calm down.

We remained quiet for a while my gaze was lost on the kids. They were playing with other kids, laughing, giggling, running everywhere, they were beautiful… They looked like me but also had some of Bella. Her nose for example.

Thank god for that.

Marie also had her chin and eyebrows, and Andrew had the shape of her eyes but with my eye color. Those were the only differences between them, and they hair length of course, and their height, Marie was surprisingly small for her age. Other than that, they looked so much alike. Twins, like… like Andrew and me.

Fuck. The pain.

"When did you find out?" I asked.

…

…

When she didn't answer I looked at her, she was looking down. Her face contorted with pain and sadness.

Then it hit me.

Images started to come back. The way she hugged herself while leaving, I had thought she was protecting herself, but… her hands had been around her stomach… her mood swings those last couple of weeks, pop-tarts at 4 in the fucking morning…

Shit.

"You… you knew… before?" I gasped.

…

She cried harder and looked down.

"I… wanted to surprise you… on… on our honeymoon." She said quietly and covered her face with her hands.

I have never hated myself this much.

She was going to surprise me… on our honeymoon.

A wedding gift.

Oh my god. I felt like a fucking piece of shit.

That fucking guilt came back full force. I didn't know who I was angry at more. Me, for fucking everything up, or at her, for hiding it from me.

Well… actually I did know who I was angrier with…

Me.

For not being able to keep it on my pants. For being such an idiot, for behaving like a fucking hormonal teenager. I couldn't believe what I gave up when I went to that fucking bar. I couldn't believe what I lost. The fake visions came back, but now we were four, me chasing two kids… Bella preparing a picnic next to the playground...

A family.

I lost _my_ family that fucking night.

That had been the ultimate price to my actions. I lost my dream, my family.

I wanted to sob my guts out, I wanted throw a fucking tantrum, I felt the urge to scream again, to break something, my hands were shaking. I was angry.

I was angry at me, because no matter what I couldn't hate her, I wanted to hate her, fuck! I wanted to hate her so much! She hid them from me, it was her fault I was in this pain, intended or not, she lied to me and I couldn't hate her, because after all it had been _my_ fault that she left, as always it had been my fault, I hurt her… but still… it didn't make it right what she did.

Why did she do it! I couldn't believe this!

FUCK! ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKIN PAIN!

Whoever is up there… FUCKING STOP IT FOR FUCK SAKES!

I rubbed my face with my hands in frustration. Fuck Cullen don't break down now, now is not the fucking time.

"I know you must hate me-" She started to say.

"I don't hate you." I cut her off curtly, I could never hate her. "But you can bet I'm so fucking _pissed_ at you. God Bella, I can't believe you'll do something like this!"

"Edward… I'm sorry, I know I was selfish… but I just couldn't see you, I was mad at you! I didn't want to keep them from you as you think, I wasn't seeking _revenge_… I was _hurt_ I just needed time to face you."

"A memo would have done it." I spat back.

She huffed.

"Damn it Edward! Could you please see it on my perspective for a fucking minute? Do you think it was easy for me?... You humiliated me!" I flinched "Betrayed me! How did you expect me to go back and face you that easy? I needed my time to heal! You hurt me!" She accused.

"And do you think I was lying on a bed of fucking roses? Fuck Bella! I was hurt too! Do you think I didn't regret what I did? Do you think I don't hate myself more every fucking day for what I did? I made a mistake and fucking believe me living without you was enough punishment! I looked for you! I went to fucking forks! I searched everywhere! And you couldn't just popped out your fucking little head and tell me what was going on?"

She stood up abruptly and walked away a few feet from where I was, facing away from me, staring at the kids who were now on the swings, she took deep breaths and after a minute turned back to me. We stared at each other's eyes sensing each other's pain and anger, and I couldn't help but think in the beauty of them, even if they were red from crying they were beautiful. She closed her eyes, breaking the spell and took another deep breath and came back to sit with me. She lowered her head, grabbed her hair with her elbows on her knees and pulled at it in frustration –it broke me to see her like this- then she dropped her hands onto her lap.

…

"Edward… _You_ _cheated_ on _me_, on our _wedding day_… I was _mad_ at you, I… I _hated_ you…" She cried. "I didn't want to see you… I needed time… to heal… I needed… I needed to fall out of _love_ with you."

…

I went numb. Her words brought another wave of pain and I needed a safe place. I knew she must have hated me for what I did, but hearing it… and… hearing that she had indeed fallen out of love with me, it was too much.

It had been all my fault after all. I made her hate me, which made her leave me, bringing her secret with her because she didn't want to see me. I kind of forced her to do it.

"They are coming." Bella warned me –bringing me out of my numbness- cleaning off her face from tears and putting a fake smile on her lips.

I stood up and faced the other way towards the street. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself.

"Andrew!" Bella scolded, I turned around quickly, did something happen to him? But in spite of myself, I had to chuckle without humor at the sight in front of me. Chocolate ice cream was all over his face and shirt.

"Honey, you ruined your shirt!" Bella complained, the boy just made a puppy face.

"Sorry-mommy-I-love-you." He said in one breath pouting even more.

Shit, he was better than Alice.

Bella's eyes softened and she smiled ruefully.

"Ok, but you don't get to use that for two days." The boy smiled and jumped into Bella's lap giving her a kiss on her cheek, staining her with chocolate.

"Hey!" she laughed cleaning herself with her hand, and then she searched into her bag and retrieved a pack of Kleenex and started to clean the boy's face.

…

…

"You sick?" A small voice said and I looked down to see Marie staring at me, concern in her eyes.

I sat back on the bench she was in front of me.

"Why would you ask that?" I asked her.

"You crying… when mommy's sick she cries too."

Bella stiffened beside me but choose to ignore us, still cleaning Andrew's face. I leaned closer to look better at the girl, she was really small, and rested my elbows on my knees.

She was small her skin was pale but creamy like, beautiful. Long big auburn curls waved across her shoulders and on her back, she wasn't skinny or chubby, she was perfect, and when she had smiled at me before, I had noticed the cutest little dimples on her cheeks.

"My head hurts a little" I said, after all it wasn't a lie, and after a day like this I wouldn't expect less. I was drained.

…

"When I'm sick, mommy hugs me… it helps… you want a hug? I can give you a hug." There was worry in her eyes a girl like her shouldn't be worrying for people like me. She should be happy, smiling.

…

"Would you do that for me?" I chocked.

She nodded.

The next thing I knew her little arms where around my neck and I was cradling her little body against me. It was the most amazing feeling in the world, I felt as if all this years of pain, self loathing, anger, hurt and emotional baggage didn't matter anymore, because of this moment.

I loved them.

I loved these kids. I didn't have a choice in it. I knew I would give anything for them, my soul, and my life. It was as if I had a new purpose, finally my life had sense again. In that second, everything fell to place again. I could feel my old self coming out and clamming back my body. Finally, I woke up.

I buried my face in the girl's hair, trying to control myself. I didn't want to sob in front of them even though my body was shaking I needed to be strong for them. I needed to be the father they deserved, even if they didn't know who I was, because they deserved the best of everything. They were the most perfect innocent creatures on this planet.

And they were mine.

Shit, I am a Dad.

With this realization, also came the overwhelming sense of responsibility. They depended on me, I knew Bella must have been doing a hell of a job, but it was my turn to step into my roll. I would give them everything they wanted and needed. I'll protect them, care for them, and love them the way they must be loved.

They were my everything.

They were my life now.

After the quickest 5 minutes of my life, I let her go and I felt empty the moment she wasn't touching me. She looked at me and I could see the start of a tear on one of her eyes. Huh? I guess she was a sensitive girl. I promised myself I would never let anything harm them, not even myself.

"Wow, you sure you Ok?" Andrew suddenly said and I noticed that Bella wasn't looking at us anymore, she had turned her face away, maybe to hide whatever emotion she was portraying now on her face.

"You really look sick," Andrew continued. "You should go to a doctor. Mommy says daddy's a good one, you can go to him." He smiled.

Marie giggled covering her mouth with her hand, and suddenly she jumped on my lap and I instinctively put my right hand on her back, bringing her closer to me.

"I'll be fine, but thanks." I smiled at him.

"You sure you don't want to go to daddy?" He insisted and something flashed in his eyes, hope?

"You are so silly Andrew." Marie laughed I turned my eyes at her, what was that? Her eyes were sparkling.

"Hey! Mommy Marie called me silly!" He whined.

"Marie, careful with what you say, Ok sweetie?" Bella gave a pointed look at Marie.

"Yes Mommy." She said and leaned her head on my chest feeling chastised.

Why was she so comfortable around me? A stranger? Where they used to strangers? Did Bella have a lot of friends for them to be comfortable meeting new people? Men friends?

Shit, I had a lot of questions.

"Who are you?" Andrew asked he was a curious little guy.

I didn't know how to answer, of course I wanted them to know who I was, but now was not the best time for that. Bella and I still had tons to talk about. What they should or shouldn't know. We needed to clear things, plan how best to let them know who I was, because they will know who I was. She saw my struggling and answered for me.

"_Anthony_ is an old friend of mine." She said.

"An old friend? How old? Does he know daddy?" He asked, turning to Bella. My heart broke at Andrew's hope he really wanted to meet me.

Me.

His daddy.

Shit. I was getting emotional again.

Bella hesitated and looked at me for help. She was as clueless as me. Shit this was going to be difficult.

"Yes, I know him." I told him, his little face brightened.

"REALLY?" He asked excitedly.

"Yep" I said popping the p. It had been a while since I did that. Years to be exact.

"Oh! Mommy says I look like him… do I really look like him?" He was so cute being all excited and asking questions. He was really a curious kid.

"Well… you definitely have his color" I laughed at his confused expression. "But you have your grandmother's eyes."

"Nana Esme?" He asked and I was surprised. Damn, how much did Bella tell them, I needed to be careful.

"Ye-e-s… like nana Esme." I said.

"You also know pops?"

"Pops?" I asked confused.

"Carlisle." Bella mouthed.

"Oh, yeah… yeah I know… _pops._" I chuckled it was weird to hear someone call Carlisle pops. He was too serious to be a pops. "He's a doctor." I finished.

"I know! He and daddy have a hospital!" he said proudly and my heart became so big I thought I was going to explode. He was proud, of me. I couldn't bring myself to correct him and tell him it was actually a clinic, he was so happy. A hospital was a long ago dream I used to have. "Mommy says Marie has daddy's brain, but that I'm smart too, so when me grow up me going to be a doctor too and me going to work with daddy and pops!" He continued, and I laughed.

"I'm sure you will."

As I observed him, I couldn't help but to find the similarities between me and my brother. As we were identical twins, you could say he looked like my brother too, but his personality was divided. He was as curious as him, and cheerful. But he was obviously a momma's boy, like me, and also had my sweet tooth. Chocolate ice cream was my favorite one too. He also had my crooked smile and crazy hair, even though it was shorter that mine, I could tell it was going to give him hell.

Sorry kiddo.

It was so funny to look at him, while Marie was more quiet and shy, he was loud and extrovert. He talked a lot too I think you could blame Alice for that one. He also had my hair color, the same skin and complexion as Marie but taller. I was proud. He could protect his little sister when he was older.

Andrew continued to talk and make us laugh while Bella and I avoided each other's gazes, he really was a funny kid. He told me stories about his friends at kinder garden and told me he wanted to learn to play soccer, because he was going to first grade soon and wanted to be on the team.

"Tha's why I want daddy to come home, mommy doesn't know to play and… well… she's a girl." He said scrunching his face at the last part.

"Hey! There is nothing wrong with being a girl." Bella chastised him playfully, pocking him in his ribs, trying to break the tension that suddenly formed.

I wanted to laugh at his comment, -it was true- soccer wasn't for girls. Especially Bella, she could barely walk on straight carpet. But he wanted his daddy to come _home_. He thought one day I was going to come and live with them. My heart shattered even more.

Bella and I needed to talk. Shit I wasn't even sure if they lived here or if they were visiting.

Marie jumped from my lap and stood on the bench. She leaned to Bella and whispered something in her ear.

"Now?" Bella asked her and Marie nodded while blushing. It was adorable.

"What's the matter?" I asked, did she need anything? Was she ok?

Bella hesitated and looked at me.

"Can you stay with Andrew for a minute? Marie needs the lady's room."

"MOM!" Marie screamed in mortification which made Andrew laugh.

"You peed on yourself again?" He laughed.

Marie's eyes turned to me for a second then to Andrew and her pretty little chin quivered, I wanted to go to her and do whatever it took to make her discomfort go away. It broke my heart.

"No, I don't do that." She said looking down.

"Then where were your sheets this morning?" Marie started to cry quietly, small tears falling down her cheeks, she was embarrassed. I didn't know what to do, I was clueless. I just knew I wanted her to smile again.

"Andrew enough!" Bella said firmly, which made Andrew stop laughing. "It was an accident… now, apologize to Marie."

"Sorry." He muttered looking down, and Marie nodded. Then Andrew stood up from Bella's lap on the bench and hugged his sister. I could tell, even though he apparently liked to make fun of her, he cared for her, as a big brother should. I was proud of him.

"Ed- Anthony… would you be alright for a minute? While I take Marie to the lady's room?" She pleaded with her eyes. "Andrew doesn't like to go there." She explained.

"Of course not! It's for girls!" I chuckled, poor kid, growing up with two girls must be hard for him.

"Sure." I said.

"I'll be back in a minute." She told me "Be good." She threw a meaningful look to Andrew.

When Bella and Marie where out of sight, Andrew turn to me and stood up on the bench. Confidence rolling off his little body.

"So, Anthony… I need your help. I need to talk to daddy." He said firmly, hope in his big green eyes.

***gasps* what does he need to tell daddy?**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, as a present I made a new banner of this scene featuring Andrew and Marie Esme and other one about broodyward, they are on my profile... GO and SEE!**

**You can find me on twitter tpec1991 come and say hi! I'll follow back!**

**Please please please! leave a review! I need your thoughts!**

**saludos!**

**tpec**


	7. Chapter 7: Storm

**Sooo, I'm updating earlier... I hope you don't mind ;) Blame my beta! She had to go on a trip so I had to write it sooner so she could _beta_ it**

**I'll like to warn you though... this one is angsty... but all my chapters have been angsty ones so it isn't really a surprise.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed! I've been receiving such wonderful reviews lately! it awesome! thank you soo much for taking the time, I read everyone of them!**

**special thanks to my wonderful beta Cattinson, thank you girl! you are the best!**

**see you at the bottom!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 7. Storm<p>

_"**Storm" – Lifehouse**_

_how long have I_  
><em>been in this storm<em>  
><em>so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form<em>  
><em>water's getting harder to tread<em>  
><em>with these waves crashing over my head<em>

_if I could just see you_  
><em>everything will be alright<em>  
><em>if I'd see you<em>  
><em>the storminess will turn to light<em>

_and I will walk on water_  
><em>and you will catch me if I fall<em>  
><em>and I will get lost into your eyes<em>  
><em>and everything will be alright<em>  
><em>and everything will be alright<em>

_I know you didn't_  
><em>bring me out here to drown<em>  
><em>so why am I 10 feet under and upside down<em>  
><em>barely surviving has become my purpose<em>  
><em>cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface<em>

"_So, Anthony… I need your help. I need to talk to daddy." He said firmly, hope in his big green eyes._

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Daddy. You say you know him, right?" I nodded. "So, put him on the phone. I need to talk to him. It's important."

"Why do you need to talk to him?" I was amazed by his bluntness, straight to his goal.

He eyed me wirily.

"I can't tell you, it's between him and me… you going to call him or not?"

"I… I can't…" Shit! What do I tell him "he… he is… he is working right now."

He looked down and scrunched his face, pouting a little bit.

"That what mommy says."

"But… I can give him a message… if you want." What did he want to tell me? What was so important? Was he ok? Was there a problem? My heart started to pick up. Shit, I'm new at this, only a couple of hours old to be exact.

"I can't tell you… it's between _daddy_ and _me_." He was stubborn, just like Bella.

…

"Well, I have an idea… why don't you write him a letter? I can give it to him." I hoped.

"Mmmm…"

He thought for a moment, eyebrows knitted together, thinking hard… like he was figuring out something. Then his face relaxed.

"Ok, that'll work… but, please… don't tell mommy."

"Why not?"

"Because she'll be sad, I don't like it when she's sad."

"She'll be sad?" I asked in a whisper.

"Yeah," Andrew looked down "every time I ask her about daddy… she gets sad."

"Why?"

He rolled his eyes at me in a _duh!_ way... I think he also got that from me.

"Because she misses daddy… too. I miss him, well… I don't know him… in person… but, I want to… and mommy tells us lots of things about him, so I do know him a little bit." He said, while playing with the hem of his stained shirt under his little belly. He had a small pout, a sad little pout. My heart ached for him.

I didn't know what to think about his comment. My mind was still a jumble of thoughts and my heart turmoil of emotions from finding out I was a dad just a couple hours ago. I'll save it for later, when my mind was clearer I would think about the implications of Bella being sad, sad about what? For what I did? Well, I expected that, but right now, I just needed answers.

"What do you know about him?" I asked with a trembling voice. I hope he didn't notice.

…

"Well… not much, I don't like to see mommy sad, so I try not to ask much about him… it's hard… I want to know him…" Then his face lit up. "But once she told us he played piano… and guitar. He likes music, a lot… I like music too. Marie wants to be a pianist when she's older… I wanna guitar, I wanna learn and play with him when he's back… but mommy told me I have to wait for Christmas. I told her that daddy might come home soon, and that I wanted to practice but she told me it was too expensive, that I had to wait for Christmas."

My heart was in dust by now, he had seem so happy while playing with the other kids, but now that I could look at him closer, and that he was telling me his hopes and wishes, I could see the absence of that light most kids had their eyes. That light that makes you want to be a child again, the light that most kids had because there was only happiness in their lives, joy, dreams and fulfillment. That spark that they had when everything was right in their world, that nothing else mattered but how many candies you had, or who was the fastest at a race, who could go the highest on the swings… but all I could see in Andrew's eyes now was worry, confusion, sadness… and heartbreaking hope. His eyes didn't have sparks that were as bright as the other kids. He was worried about his mommy, he felt he needed to protect her, he was confused because nothing made sense in his world, he didn't understand why daddy wasn't home and was sad because he didn't know why, and still he had hope of finding answers, he had asked me to help find his daddy.

He wanted to find me.

His daddy.

"You… you want to play the guitar… with your daddy?" I couldn't help but think in my abandoned guitar on my living room, I had the urge to go for it and play it. Andrew wanted to play the guitar with me, his daddy, because his daddy liked music. Bella had told them about me, the real me… not the zombie I had become this four past years. She had told them the good things obviously.

I remembered what my family told me about Bella not liking if she found out what I had become of myself after she left. Now it was clear for me I needed to be that person again, I will be that person, but it wouldn't be for her, like Jasper had tried to convince me to do, it would be for my kids… if I was going to be the father they deserved I needed to get my wits together, for them. I needed to be my old self. I needed to be that strong, confident, intelligent, self sufficient man I used to be. I owed them that, I would be that man when they meet their daddy.

Me.

The real me.

"Yes… he likes music, so he'll like me too." He answered.

"You think he doesn't like you... for you?"

He shrugged.

Shit.

"Andrew… why would you think that?"

…

"He's not here."

Fuck.

"But… did mommy tell you that… that he wasn't here because he doesn't like you?"

He shook his head.

"She says he's working."

"That's right… I… Andrew… I'm sure, no, _positive_… that I… he _loves_ you."

"But he don't know me… how do you know he woves me?" He whimpered.

Shit.

I thought for a moment… how do I make him understand without telling him. What do I tell him? I didn't know how to be around them or what to do, I just found out about them. I didn't really _know_ them, I didn't know what their favorite color was, what food they preferred or what was their favorite toy, the only thing I knew is that they were my life, that I loved them. It was simple, I didn't have a choice, I didn't need to know them, I just did. I loved them. They were _mine_, he is… my _son_. A part of _me_… and… _her._

"Andrew… do… do you… do you love your daddy?" I asked calmly, but my insides were trembling, afraid of his answer.

He nodded, his eyes starting to water a knot formed in my throat and a sense of relieve spread through my body.

"Do you know him?"

He shook his head.

"Then… how could you love him… if you don't know him?"

…

"Because… because… he is daddy."

"Exactly… your daddy loves you… because… because you are… his _son_. It's that simple, he loves you… with all his heart." Shit… not now Cullen, I fought back my tears. My son, I am a dad. I still couldn't get used to the idea.

"You prwomise?"

"I swear" I choked.

That seemed to appease him.

We heard footsteps and I lifted my head to see Bella and Marie making their way back. When Marie saw me she took off into a run releasing Bella's hand and jumped back on my lap. Bella looked at her confused, I think my face had the same expression, but I didn't complain. It was the best feeling to have her close to me.

My pretty _little_ girl.

She had a big smile for me and I couldn't help smiling back, even though her behavior wasn't normal. I guess she was Bella, no instinct of survival. I mean, I would _never_ do her harm, but I was still a stranger to her and she was so welcoming. She will need my protection even more.

"Mommy, I'm hungry." Andrew said, Bella sighed and looked at me then at her watch.

"I guess it's time to go home."

"Can your friend come too?" He continued.

Yes please! I couldn't let them go yet, and Bella and I still had to talk. Shit, how were we going to do this… I was supposed to be on a plane tomorrow morning, I couldn't go like this, I needed to make sure they were fine, Bella and I needed to clear things, and to get reacquainted… fuck this was going to be tough. I still had fucking tons of questions.

"I guess so… When do you leave?"

"Supposedly… tomorrow morning, but as you can see… things can change in a matter of seconds." What an understatement.

"Ok," she said evading my meaningful look. "Come, let's take a cab."

We stood up, Marie grabbing my hand and we walked to where a taxi was parked on the street.

Bella was making dinner while I watched the kids play in the small living room. They lived in a small duplex townhouse, two bedrooms, one and a half bathroom, kitchen/dining room and a living room. It was just enough, but I wanted more for them obviously.

Andrew was coloring on the coffee table, I couldn't really see what it was, but still it was a lovely sight to see him so calm and a small smile on his lips. Marie was next to him on the floor, playing with some Barbie in a purple dress with a freakishly long blond hair. Suddenly Bella emerged from the kitchen with a tray of food and she gave them each a plate of homemade chicken soup.

She kneeled between them and gave a kiss on the forehead to both of them. She was a great mom, sweet, caring… loving. Perfect, she was perfect. Shit, I rubbed my chest.

"Eat you veggies." She gave a pointed look at Andrew who made a yucky face, and then she turned to Marie and did something that caught my full attention.

Bella pulled out a tube of prescription pills, took one and gave it to Marie. She grimaced, the pill too big for her little throat but Bella cracked it in two smaller pieces. Marie swallowed them with water.

What was that? Was she sick? She seemed perfectly fine to me.

"Wha…" I started to say, I wanted to ask what she gave her but decided to wait until we were alone.

Bella saw my curious slash worried face and motioned me to go to the kitchen.

Once there, I was going to ask what that was about but she interrupted me.

"Later, I think we need to clear… other things first. I'm sure you have questions." I got instantly nervous, why did she want to postpone that question?

"Why? What is it?"

"Nothing to…_ worry_ … about now. We should talk about other things first." There was something in her eyes that told me that I _should_ worry about it, but there was a reason why she wanted to wait for that conversation. So even though I was more curious and worried, I did what she told me. I started to pull at my hair… shit… which one first.

"When were they born? How was it? Did everything go smooth?" He face contracted and now I _did_ have a reason to worry.

"Can we have that conversation at last? I really think we should go over the easy part first."

"What is it?"

"Next question." She said firmly, fuck she was still as stubborn.

"Why?"

"Because I say so."

Shit.

…

"Were do you work? How do you support them?"

"I work on a Canadian publishing house, the headquarters are in Toronto actually but I work from home. I am a copy and book editor."

Ok. That was good I guess, considering that she had to take care of two children on her own it would be a problem if she had to be in an office for a good part of the day.

"Why did you come to Ottawa, why not Forks?" or Toronto I wanted to add.

She seemed to think for a minute.

"I don't know, I didn't go to Forks… because I didn't want to be a burden to Charlie, he is old and his health is not great. As for Ottawa… I guess… I didn't want to be close, but… I didn't want to be far… in case of… anything." She was avoiding my gaze, she was hiding something. "I don't know, after… _that_ morning a just took a cab to the bus station and bought a ticket for the next bus."

I nodded.

…

"Do you have extra help? A nanny? How often are you out of… home." I didn't like to refer here as home, this shouldn't be their home, and their home should be in Toronto… with me.

She scoffed.

"I don't have a nanny, I can't afford that… and I'm not much out of home, I don't really have time for a social life… I do have to go to Toronto every few weeks to check in with my boss… my neighbor's daughter Jane, takes care of them while I'm away… I go and come on the same day."

"Did you struggle much… financially?"

…

…

"Not really, we have the necessary things… the social health care took care of a big part of the costs at the hospital… when they were born. Charlie helped when I couldn't work because of the pregnancy and I had my savings."

I started pulling at my hair again. Her savings… her savings for her art gallery dream.

"It goes without saying that you don't have to worry about that now, right?"

"Huh?"

"About money, I will take care of that now."

"Ed-"

"Bella don't even try it" I said exasperatedly, had she really thought I wouldn't do it if I had the choice? "I'm their father, even if I didn't know about them until… fuck, until a few hours ago they are my responsibility… I'm stepping in, no arguing in this."

She nodded.

"Tomorrow I'll make some calls, " I said, forming a plan on my head "I'll have a credit card assigned under your name linked to my account," I could tell she wasn't comfortable with this "you can use it for anything _you_ and _them_ need. Food, rent, services, school… whate-"

"Edward, you don't hav-"

"I'm not hearing it!" FUCK! What were her issues against me giving her things!

"But… ok, but you don't have to support _me_, I can take care of myself on my own."

"No, you have done enough. You did your best this last three years it's my turn… save your money or do whatever the fuck else you want with it." She rolled her eyes at me. "Plus, you would be living with them, so it's not like you'll rent you own room or buy you own separate food from them, be realistic."

She huffed.

"I'm not comfortable with this."

"I don't fucking care, I'm paying everything now and that's the end of it. _I don't wanna hear it_."

…

…

"Ok."

Damn, fucking finally!

We remained quiet for while, listening to the kids banter from the living room.

"_Andrew… kids have five fingers not six, you draw them wrong."_

"_How do you know?"_

"_Count your fingers." _Marie said in a _duh!_ tone.

"_But… how?"_

"_1, 2, 3, 4, 5!" _Marie said cheerfully.

"_Oh." _Andrew said a little embarrassed.

Then a thought came into my mind.

"Why did Andrew say that Marie got my brains?" Bella smiled a little.

"Her kindergarten teacher called me a few months ago, she said Marie has showed signs of more than average intelligence… it's too soon to tell, but she might be a little Einstein… too, she told me to watch out."

I couldn't help smiling.

My pretty little Einstein girl.

…

"What do they like? What are they into?" I asked, I couldn't wait to bathe them in toys and gifts. They deserved them.

Bella sighed and laughed a little, her eyes full of love and care for our children. Shit, they are _ours_.

"Well… Andrew is into pirates this month, who the hell knows what's going to be next, before that he was into transformers, and Marie has a crazy Tangled obsession thing going on right now."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Tangled." What? "You don't know Tangled? Rapunzel?" She was eyeing me as if I was crazy.

"Well, I've heard of the story of the girl with the long hair." She rolled her eyes.

"There was this Disney movie that came out last year about Rapunzel, she is crazy for it, it's driving me nuts! I can practically sing all the songs by heart by now."

Ok, Rapunzel and Pirates. Noted.

…

"How do you want us to tell them?" She asked tentatively.

I don't know, actually… I'm scared. But of course I didn't say that out loud. Instead, I shrugged.

"I guess… I'll like to spend a little more time with them tomorrow, I want to know them and I want them… to know me too, first. I want them to really accept me, because of me, not because they have to."

"You don't have to worry about that… you are practically Andrew's hero and Marie's prince charming."

"How so?"

"I told you I told them about you… Andrew… he wants to be like you."

My heart ached, I remember our conversation at the park, how he wanted a guitar, how he told me he tried not to ask much about me but that it was difficult.

"So, I guess they are registered under Swan?"

She was quiet, her eyes glazed.

…

"Actually, I… I registered them under _your_ name. They are Cullen's… I hope you don't mind?" she said shyly "I mean, I… I really never meant to keep them from you forever, or to neglect them their father… really Edward, I just needed time."

I was stunned.

…

"They have my name?" I said in a hoarse voice.

She nodded.

"Andrew Charles Cullen and Marie Esme Cullen." She confirmed.

…

…

"Thank you." I said in what I hoped it wasn't a whimper.

…

"They are yours too." I whipped my silent tears with my left hand.

…

My fucking phone rang.

"Shit." I muttered while I checked the caller ID.

Dad. Double shit.

I ignored it and turned off the phone.

"When where they born?"

…

Why was she avoiding this question.

…

"What's going on?"

…

She took a deep breath… like preparing herself for something.

"January… 3rd"

…

What?

…

That couldn't be? If they had been born at the beginning of January… then Bella would have been three months pregnant when she left, and I would have noticed it… especially with twins.

Something was off, I started to think hard. She had avoided my first questions, I started to connect the dots.

My heart stopped.

"What did you give Marie?"

…

She looked down.

…

What did you give Marie?

…

"Coumadin."

…

…

Warfarina? Why the fuck was she giving my 3 year old daughter warfarina? That was an anticoagulant… Why the fuck she was giving my daughter a fucking anticoagulant? That was… that was something for… for…

"She has pulmonary hypertension." She answered my unspoken question.

My world crashed.

…

No, no…

I heard wrong, please… someone tell me I heard wrong.

No… my pretty little girl…

It couldn't be.

…

Suddenly she let out a heartbreaking sob.

"I'm sorry… but, but when I was 7 months, my placenta detached… they were born premature… Andrew was fine…. He was almost full in growth, he only spent a couple of days in the incubator, but… but Marie… her little lungs weren't complete… she was born with bronchopulmonary dysplasia… she was given oxygen therapy for months, and it went fine… it was fine… but later… it… it developed into pulmonary hypertension." She cried.

…

I needed air, I… I needed to get out of here. I abruptly stood from where I was reclining on the kitchen counter top and headed outside.

My daughter could have... she could…

Oh my god…

She could have… died… and she didn't call.

Oh my god!

WHAT THE FUCK?

Is the pain ever going to fucking stop? Haven't I had enough of this shit? Can't it all be alright just for once in my world?

When I reached the side walk I fell to my knees and covered my face with my hands. Heartbreaking sobs coming out of me. Thankfully it was late and there wasn't anyone on the street.

Pulmonary hypertension… if it wasn't controlled, it could be bad. I knew about this shit! It meant an increase in blood pressure in the pulmonary artery which lead to hyperventilating, dizziness, fainting, and… other symptoms for starters if she over did herself. If it wasn't controlled… it could be bad… like really bad… it could lead to a… to a lung or… _heart_ … transplant.

Shit.

Not her.

I would never let that happen.

I had a new resolve.

Now I understood why she was so small, because of the lack of oxygen… her body didn't develop as it should on her first years. She needed extra care.

I heard footsteps coming from the house.

"Who's her doctor?"

…

"Dr. Lawrence." Small world… it was one of the doctors that were harassing me today. He was good. "He says is not severe, just that we have to check her every few months… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that, I couldn't help it." She whimpered. "Really Edward, it's not bad… I swear, I would have called you sooner if-"

"You are coming back to Toronto with them… and _I_ will make her new studies and _I_ will be her doctor. Understood?" I said harshly.

"Edward… serio-"

I stood up and faced her.

"I don't care what Dr. Fucking Lawrence says! I will do it. I'll take care of my daughter, you already take them from me for a good 3 fucking years, I won't let anything to keep them from me permanently… maybe you don't understand it but losing the most important thing in your world is pure hell… and I refuse to live like that again! I'll make sure she is fine, personally. Bella… you realize what you did? What if… what… what if she hadn't make it through the dysplasia? Why didn't you call? What's wrong with you?"

"I WAS SCARED! I was scared Ok? I was scared of this! Of your reaction! And it wouldn't have changed anything anyway! The doctors said everything would be fine! WE DIDN'T NEED YOU!"

She covered her mouth with her hand.

…

"Yeah, that was pretty clear." I said ignoring the scorching pain in my heart. "But I'm here now, and it isn't only your decision anymore… my daughter is… sick, and I will take care of her. It won't be a problem, I'll cover the moving expenses, I'll get you a house in the city and everything will be fine."

She hung her head and shook it crossing her arms around her stomach.

"Are you sure it's what you want?"

"Are you seriously asking that question? Bella don't you understand what's going on here? I woke up this morning, hating myself and everyone around me as every fucking day for the last four years, suddenly I decide to take a walk on the park and run into the two most beautiful creatures I would never imagine, they brought color to my world and music to my ears with their laughs, they made me finally wake up… and it got better when I discovered that they were mine, but then I realize that I have missed their first 3 and a half years of life, next I find out one of them might be in danger… what would you do? Huh? Walk out of it? Do nothing to be in their lives? Or doing anything in your power to make things right to them for not being there all along and give them the life they deserve? Just because you love them?"

She was quiet, staring deeply at my eyes.

"Bella, I loved them the instant I saw them… even if Marie wasn't sick, I couldn't just go back to Toronto, I would have asked you for this, you work from home, you told me the headquarters are in Toronto anyway and it would be easier this way. I want to be with them, I want to be part of their lives, they are my life now. I need them, you have no idea how much I already adore them, just by watching them play. I want to spoil them, to play with them, take care of them. Fuck, Andrew wants to play the guitar with me! Please, let me do the things I haven't been able to do this years. I'm begging here! You don't have to come tomorrow, we can wait a few weeks, let the kids get used to me, let them know who I am for starters."

…

She started pacing back and forth on the sidewalk, thinking, pulling at her hair.

…

"Ok…" She said after the longest 5 minutes of my life "Ok, I guess it will be easier… that way… and I do prefer you to be her doctor." She said quietly. "Just give me a few weeks…. to get things sorted out."

"Mommy?" We heard Marie call Bella from the doorstep.

"Yes honey?" Bella said going into her direction, I followed her automatically… worried. Was she ok?

"Mommy I'm tired." She said yawning.

"It's late, lets get you in your PJ's and into bed Ok?" Bella smiled at her.

She nodded and then looked at me.

"Are you staying?"

…

"N-no, I'm staying at a hotel."

"Oh." She said, scrunching her face in confusion.

"Come on honey, say goodbye to Anthony."

Marie extended her arms towards me, motioning me to carry her. I did.

"Are you coming tomorrow?"

I gave side glances at Bella, she nodded.

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow Ok?"

She smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek while circling my neck with her arms. Hugging me goodnight.

"Good night." She said against my neck.

"Good night pretty little girl." I said burying my face in her hair again, it was amazing, she smelled like Bella but in a childish way, like strawberry bubblegum. I kissed her forehead and gave her to Bella even though it hurt like hell to give her up. I could tell she was really tired, she should rest… she needed to rest, especially with what I know now… so I let Bella to take her upstairs.

I followed them but stayed in the living room.

"Andrew," Bella called from the stairs "it's time for bed." Andrew groaned but before going upstairs, he came to me and tug at my pants.

"Hey" He whispered and gave me a folded piece of paper. "It's my letter… to daddy…" he said but suddenly turned insecure "but there's a prwoblem… I don't know to write… yet… so, I made something else." I nodded feeling stupid… of course he didn't know how to write a letter… he's only three! "Please… give it to him?"

I nodded he smiled and turned to go upstairs. Even though the curiosity was killing me, I saved the _letter _on my wallet, I had the feeling I needed to be alone for this.

I waited for Bella to come back downstairs, after 20 minutes she re-appeared on the living room.

"So, you don't want to tell them yet?" she asked

…

"I think I wanna wait a couple of days, I still need to get used to the idea… shit, I don't know how I'm going to tell my family."

She flinched and covered her face in embarrassment.

"Fuck, your family is going to hate me…"

"No, they won't… they are going to be… _incredulous_ at first… but they won't hate you. They are team Bella, _believe_ me."

She smiled warily

"_You_ should hate me."

"I know… as you hated me, but… surprisingly I don't. I'm angry and I don't completely understand most of your decisions but I don't hate you… believe me, I want to… but I can't."

…

"It's fair… so at what time tomorrow?"

"Ten in the morning works for you?"

She nodded.

"Do you want me to come here or can you come to the hotel?"

"I'll prefer to meet you at the hotel, maybe we can go to the park again. We can continue our talk there while the kids play."

I nodded, we exchanged numbers and I called a cab. Once back in the hotel I headed straight to my room, I needed to be in the solace of my room, I still couldn't make heads and tails about this day, and I needed to be alone, I was positive a break down was coming. I had woken up this day damning my existence, broody and pitying myself about being alone and fucking up everything, and by some twist of fate, I finally run into the love of my life only to find out she had been hiding something so important from me, I had two kids… and she hadn't tell me. So, did that changed my feelings towards her? To know she kept something so important from me? She hurt me, I was hurt when she left me, but this time… _she_ hurt _me_, and the pain was even worse, but… did that change my vision of her? my idea of her? I knew the answer even before I made the question.

No. It didn't change anything.

She still was everything to me, I loved her with everything within me, no matter what she did, and I hated that, I hated to depend so much on her. But things were like that, I loved her, more than my life, I would still jump between her and a bullet. There wasn't a place in my heart where I could place them, there wasn't a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place. I couldn't say I loved them more than her or vice versa. It was different… it was as if my broken heart had expanded, as it was capable of more love to support the equal amount of love I had for each one of them. It was strange, but no matter how much love I had for her, the pain was still there, it was like a balance… the amount of love was the same amount of pain, if not even more.

We had hurt each other.

When I think on the pain she inflicted on me, I'll try to hate her, but then… I'll remember that I hurt her first, I had forced her to run away. It was my fault, it was because of my idiocy that I missed the first years of my children's life. She wasn't completely innocent, she still should have told me but I knew it had been mostly my fault.

When I entered into my room, I threw myself on my bed.

Now what?

I had a lot of things to worry about, first of all… I needed to contact Dr. Lawrence, hear his opinion on Marie's condition, then compare it with my own when we were in Toronto and she had the proper examinations. Then I had to make some calls to the bank, to order Bella's card. I needed to call the clinic and cancel my appointments for the rest of the week… shit how was I going to explain that? Especially to Carlisle, I can't just say that the convention extended, he would know and I can't have him to come here. I can't tell them yet about Marie and Andrew, knowing my family they would come over immediately demanding an introduction.

Wow, things can change radically in one day, but fuck if I didn't already know that.

At least, I convinced Bella to move back to Toronto, I know it was out of the line to ask for that like that but I just couldn't have it any other way. I needed to keep a close eye on Marie and I wanted to be part of their lives. If she had said no, well I would have moved instead without a doubt. They were my priority.

Speaking of priorities… I remembered Andrew's letter. I sat on my bed and grabbed my wallet from my back pocket, opened it and retrieve the folded piece of paper.

When I opened it, my breath got caught in my throat, followed by rivers of tears and heartbreaking sobs.

It was a drawing.

I could tell exactly of whom even though the people in it was made of sticks and circles. It was drawing of us, Me, -with red hair a guitar on my hand and a stethoscope around my neck- Bella –with a book on her hand-, Andrew and Marie -with red hair too- holding hands inside of a square that I guessed it was meant to be a house. Underneath the house was one single word.

Home.

And I started to bawl.

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! I write everything for a reason! have faith in me!<strong>

**Please leave me a review, I need and want to know your thoughts ;)! You have no idea how much it means to an author to see a review alert on her/his inbox. Its the best part of writing a story, to know how people are taking it!**

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**tpec**


	8. Chapter 8: Everything

**Hello everyone! Sorry about the delay, but it took me a while to write this chapter because of RL and the medical research I had to do. Remember, I'm not a doctor so if I wrote something wrong... well I'm sorry about that but this is fiction anyways ;)**

**I wanna to thank everyone who reviewed last chapter and for your amazing words! **

**I wanna to dedicate this chapter to Belatrix233 and JoJo757... thank you so much for your review and for sharing a little of your story with me.**

**I also wanna thank my awesome beta Cattinson... girl I don't know what I would do without you! Thank you so much!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 8. Everything<p>

"_**Everything" – Lifehouse**_

_Find me here, and speak to me__  
><em>_I want to feel you, I need to hear you__  
><em>_You are the light that's leading me to the place__  
><em>_Where I find peace again__  
><em>_You are the strength that keeps me walking__  
><em>_You are the hope that keeps me trusting__  
><em>_You are the life to my soul__  
><em>_You are my purpose__  
><em>_You're everything__  
><em>_And how can I stand here with you__  
><em>_And not be moved by you__  
><em>_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?__  
><em>_Cause you're all I want, you're all I need__  
><em>_You're everything, everything__  
><em>_You're all I want__  
><em>_You're all I need__  
><em>_You're everything, everything_

The alarm on the clock tells me it's time to wake up. I don't wanna wake up.

I hit the snoozer.

For once, I had another kind of dream, it was as painful as the others if not even more, but at the same time, I've never had a dream as beautiful as this. I couldn't let go that kind of dream, those kind of dreams are supposed to be engraved into memory, you are supposed to save them so you can use it whenever you need them, whenever you are scared, sad, lonely… hurt. I was trying my best at holding to that dream, it was fading, I couldn't let that happen, I needed those pairs of emerald eyes. My life depended on them.

I drifted to sleep again.

Suddenly a pair of deep brown chocolate eyes replaced those green beautiful sparkly ones. They took my breath away, I couldn't choose which ones were prettier, and they were both so different. The green ones brought hope, peace, happiness and love into my soul, while the brown ones brought passion, desire, lust, reverence and other kind of love. I couldn't choose, both of them filled my soul in different ways but both were essential. They made me feel complete, for a second I didn't feel empty, I felt rich, but at the same time they were so far away, that's what brought the pain that I could see them, feel them but I couldn't have them. It hurt so fucking bad, I knew they were mine, they were supposed to be mine, but something was keeping them from me. But I didn't care about the pain, as long as I could see them it was better than giving up, better than turning my back to them. So I hold to this dream as hard as I could no matter how much it hurt, I didn't wanna wake up. I didn't want to face reality, fantasy was better than real life.

The alarm rings again and the chocolate brown eyes disappear.

Fuck.

I open my eyes and realize I'm not where I thought I was, I'm not at my room in my house, I'm somewhere else. I open and close my eyes a couple of times, trying to get my bearings, my head hurts like a motherfucker and my eyes are sore, as if I cried my guts out last night. Why? Did I woke from a nightmare last night and didn't remember? That was unlikely, I would remember. A piece of paper on the bedside table gets my attention, when I take it and see what it is about my hands start to tremble. That is when memories of the previous day start to flow into my mind.

It hadn't been a dream.

It was real, they had been real.

Shit, I'm a dad.

I turn my head to the clock on the bedside table, 7:08 am, shit I need to keep moving, it wasn't a dream.

They were real.

I resist the urge to bawl again, I can't do that anymore I need to be my old self, they need me strong for them. Andrew wants me to teach him soccer, he wants to play the guitar with me and Marie… Marie needs me the most. My pretty little girl needs me to take care of her. Remembering my resolve from the previous day, I jump out of the bed and go straight to the bathroom inside my room. I take a shower and shave. Then, with a towel around my waist I go to my suit case and find out that luckily I had packed more than the suits I planned to wear for the convention, so after drying myself completely I put on a pair of jeans and my favorite button down blue shirt.

I start the coffee machine and power up my laptop. While I wait for my coffee I search for a real state agency in Toronto and get the RBC and American Express' number. After getting all the information I need I check the clock again, Heidi must be at the clinic by now so I call her there. She answers after the second ring.

"St. Andrew's Clinic, this is Heidi how can I help you?" She answers brightly.

"Hello Heidi, It's me… Edward."

"Good morning Dr. Cullen, how did the convention go? Is there a problem?"

"It went good thanks and no, everything is fine, ehm… but listen, I won't make it back to Toronto today, I'll stay for a couple more days actually, I need you to postpone again everything I have on schedule for this week."

"Ehmm… sure, I'll do that but… may I ask why Dr. Cullen?" She asked with concern on her voice.

"I ran into Dr. Murray, he wants me to write again for the Doctors Journal on this new virus, I may take the offer so I need to stay and do some research." I half lied, he did ask me that yesterday, but I turned him down. As I've been doing it for the past 4 years.

"Alright Dr. Cullen… I'll take care of everything. Good luck."

"Thank you Heidi, see you on Friday. Oh! And Heidi, I need one more favor… could you please put me in contact with Dr. Thomas Lawrence? He's on dad's health society circle so he must be on the clinic's phone book. Can you please get me an appointment with him while I'm here? It's important."

"Sure Dr. Cullen, I'll send you an e-mail with the details."

"Thanks Heidi, and please… don't tell dad about it, I'll… I'll explain later."

"As you wish, Dr. Cullen." Heidi said worriedly. Heidi had been with us for years, she knew all the family drama but she was pretty discrete. I knew if I asked she wouldn't say anything unless she suspected something was really wrong. I just hoped she believed my story about the doctor's journal.

I knew what my family would think if they found out I delayed my return with no real excuse after the way I took off from brunch last Sunday. Shit, had that been only 3 days ago? But now that I was recalling that day, I couldn't help to wonder who Alice saw Bella with. She had seen her in Toronto, why had she been there? Who did she saw her with? Did she go to Toronto to check in with her boss? Then, why was she on the beach? Shit, and it's not like I could ask Bella that now, it would be weird to ask who was she with and why, it wasn't my place anymore. I rubbed at my chest at the pang of pain at that thought, fuck. The curiosity was killing me, and I remembered Alice said she had moved on, I had assumed she saw him with a guy, but now… I wondered. Bella had said she didn't have a social life, but still that didn't mean she wasn't with someone. I didn't want to admit it, but I could feel the jealousy running in my veins. Maybe I'll regret this later but I needed to know. I told myself I needed to know for the kids, that I needed to know who the guy was for their safety, _if_ there was a guy, I hoped there wasn't. But the reality was that the jealousy and curiosity was eating me, I needed to know for _me_ too.

I grabbed my phone and called her.

"Edward?" She answered after the first ring worried. I rolled my eyes, things don't change apparently… but to be fair, the last time I saw her she had told me the reason of my existence had moved on, and that had been only 3 days ago… shit, I couldn't believe how drastically my life changed in 3 fucking days. And again, my life changed drastically 4 years ago too… in a matter of hours.

"Hey…" Shit! Now what? I didn't think this through, how do I approach this lightly without arising suspicion? Or without them coming to fake conclusions? "Ehmm, hi Alice… I… I was just checking in."

What?

"Oh Eddie! I'm glad you called, we've been so worried. What's going on? Are you Ok?"

"I'm fine…" Shit! I was back to square one. Man up Cullen! "…the convention was boring though." I added, I could only hope it didn't sound like trying too hard.

"Edward… are you sure you are ok? Why are you really calling? Do you need anything?" Damn, I guess she didn't buy it. I hear Jasper asking her something on the background.

…

"Edward? What's going on? Why did you call?" She said urgently.

…

Fuck it. Here we go.

"I need to ask you something…"

…

…

"Go on, ask me." She knew what I was going to ask of course. Why else would I call her?

…

…

"Who… who did you see… Bella with? Was it… was it a man?" I heard her sigh on the other side of the phone.

"I'm sorry Edward."

"Just answer me."

…

She answered after a few moments, preparing herself with giving me her big news.

"She has a kid Edward, I'm so sorry… I didn't see a man with her, but I guess… I figure she is with someone now, the kid's dad." She said in concern but relieve run through me, apparently there wasn't a man.

"A kid?" Why did she say kid instead of kids?

"Yeah, I couldn't see her face, but my guess… my guess is that it was a girl, she had a purple hoodie on, she was small… two and a half years?" She mused "I don't know… I didn't see her face, Bella was carrying her and she had her face hidden on Bella's neck."

Marie.

My pretty little girl.

"That was all?"

"Ye-es… Edward what's going on? Are ok? Do you need me or Jasper to go there? When are you coming back? Please, if you need us, don't hesit-" She started to fire questions at me, she was worried. I cut her off.

"Alice, its ok… I'll be back on Friday, really I'm fine I'm staying to do some research, Dr. Murray asked me to write for the Doctor's Journal again, I might do it… to get things off of my mind." I lied "I'm good, really."

…

"Are you sure? Edward… I don't think it's... I think you shouldn't be alone… I mean… your voice… you sound weird."

"My voice?"

"Yeah… your aren't _mumbling_…" then she gasped "ARE YOU DRINKING?"

"Where is he?" I heard Jasper on the background.

I sighed in frustration.

"No I'm not! Alice, please give me some credit… I didn't do anything on Sunday and I won't do anything, at all… when are you guys going to let that go? It was a fucking accident. I swear!"

…

"I know… I'm sorry Eddie, I didn't mean to sound pushy or to jump into conclusions… I'm sorry, it's just… Jasper told me you just needed space, but I can't help but worry." Her voice was cracking "I'm sorry, I just want to be there for you this time." She cried now.

…

"It's ok Ali, I understand why you did it." My voice was trembling now.

Great.

I was remembering those first weeks, and every time Alice saw me she would start to yell at me, I couldn't blame her, after all I humiliated her best friend, she had the right to do so. Then she stopped yelling and talking to me altogether 3 weeks later for almost 2 years until the hospital accident.

"Yeah, but I still feel guilty, I shouldn't have done that, not the yelling part you still deserved that but I shouldn't have stopped talking to you… you are my brother, you needed us even if you didn't want us to help you. I saw the pain you were going through… and I felt guilty, it broke me… I didn't know how to be around you… I was mad at you but at the same time I wanted to tell you it would be alright… it broke my heart to see you like that. Edward… it was horrible to see you like that, your eyes… they were lost, out of emotion, out of life… I'm sorry… please don't do anything stupid, I'm telling you now, _it will be alright_… I promise, we'll work something out but please… we need you, I'm sorry." She cried.

…

"It's… its ok Ali, calm down please… you shouldn't stress yourself, the baby… I… I promise I'll never put myself into that position again. I _swear_." I was fighting my damn hardest to control my voice and doing my best to not bawl at her and tell her everything, I do needed my little sister. She had always been my confident, my voice of reason, I was relieved when she started to talk to me again, even if I didn't want to talk to anybody, it was nice to know we were fine again. "Really, I can't… I can't explain it right now but I'll _never_ risk my life like that again, I can't." Ever, I had two very important reasons for staying alive. "I swear to you, I'll take care of myself."

"What are you talking about?" She sniffed.

"Nothing… I think… I think I just had a wakeup call. I'm… I'm seeing things in a different light I guess… anyway, I'm sorry to leave you like this but I have to go, see you on Sunday Ok?"

"You are coming to brunch?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah, I think so… I… I kind of have to talk to all of you."

"Ok-ay? I promised Jasper I won't push, so I won't press for details, but Eddie if you need anything please… just call ok?"

"Yes Alice, I promise… listen I have to go… see you Sunday Ok?... I… I love you pixie."

…

…

"I love you too ginger." She whimpered quietly, I chuckled at my childhood nickname and hung up.

Shit, so… it had been Marie she saw her with. I didn't want to think of the fact that Bella had been in Toronto with our kids, at least with Marie and she didn't come to me, or I didn't run into her. How many times had she been there with them? Probably not much, she wouldn't want to risk an encounter like the one yesterday. What would have happen if I had been the one who saw her at the beach? Would I just stare at her and wouldn't find out about the twins, or would I have approached her? What would her reaction have been? Probably the same one as at the park. Damn it, I'm done with over analyzing things for now, I'll think about me later, my kids come first I need to get into action.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and went to sit on the desk on my room, I called to Air Canada and change my flight back and extended my staying at the hotel for two more days. By 8:46 I was calling the RBC and American Express and was doing the necessary protocol for two credit cards to be assigned to Bella. I gave them her address and they will fax me to my office whatever I needed to sign. Then I called a real state agency in Toronto and talked to a woman called Tia, I told her what I was looking for and she told me she was going to call me soon with the best choices according to my needs. When I hung up with her, I noticed it was fifteen to ten. My heart started to pick up they were going to be here soon.

I closed my laptop and headed downstairs.

* * *

><p>I was pacing on the lobby, waiting for them to arrive when I felt someone tap at my shoulder. I turned around and found Lauren smiling at me.<p>

"Hello Dr. Cullen, why are you down here so early? Are you going back to Toronto?"

"Hi Lauren… No, I'm not leaving yet I'm just waiting for… someone."

"Oh! So you are not leaving yet? I thought you were going back today."

"I was, but there was a change of plans."

"I'm glad to hear that, I mean… what I mean is that, if you are free… well what about if we have lunch together later? Or dinner? You know… to get to know each other? I'll be starting my residence with you next week so I think it's a great idea don't you think?" she said batting her eyelashes seductively at me.

…

Ok, this was uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry Lauren but I can't, I'm busy today… but we are looking forward to have you with us at St. Andrew, I'm sure my father took you in for a reason" from my peripheral vision I saw a cab pull up at the entrance of the hotel and Bella stepping out of it. "Ehmm sorry, I have to go now… see you next week?" I left her standing there without waiting for her response.

As I walked to the cab, I could feel my heart rate picking up in excitement, I know I just found out about them but as I said before, I had woken up and I couldn't wait to see them. I loved them they brought light to my dark world and happiness to my sour life without them knowing. I had a new purpose, them. It was as if my entire universe rotated now around them, I couldn't wait to see them, but even in y haste to get to them, who were still inside of the cab I couldn't help but to see _her_. Now that I wasn't as confused and overwhelmed as yesterday, I could really see her. Now that she had her profile to me and hadn't noticed me I could watch her properly. I could see all the changes from this past years, she was different but the same in a way. Her hair was longer and thinner, but still a shinny mahogany color with a little bit of reddish were the sun hit. Her waist was a little bit wider because of the pregnancy, but at the same time she was skinnier, she had lost too much weight, my heart ached because I could guess exactly why she was skinnier, too much stress of raising two kids on her own. Her skin was paler but still with that soft creamy look… but paler, like as if she was tired which I presumed she was and still… she was the most beautiful woman who will ever walk on this planet, and I lost her.

She had been mine and I lost her to my stupidity.

I will never forgive myself for what I did to her, but I had the comfort now that some of us survived, some of the love we used to have for each other survived in our kids. Well, at least hers because mine will never go away. No matter if she hurt me too, no matter what she did, no matter if she did it to get back at me or not, she still is my everything. I'll never get over her, I can only hope that with time, she'll see me again as the man she fell in love with, as the man she trusted, even if she never loves me again, I want her to trust me again, I wanted her to see I didn't mean to do what I did, I don't expect her to forgive me, cause I can't even forgive myself for what I did, I can only hope that with time she will see me as me again. She will see that I was worthy of loving her, that she didn't make a mistake in loving me back once. I won't disappoint her again.

I had so many mixed feelings about our situation, I was still mad at her for what she did, even more when I found out about Marie's condition but I still couldn't totally blame her for running away, and that angered me. I wanted to yell at her and at the same time I wanted to beg forgiveness. I wanted to never see her again but I knew that would end up killing me, I had so many emotions bottled in my body, I needed to watch out or I would explode at anytime, and I can't do that now. First things first, my kids… then, I figure everything else later.

She pulled Andrew off the cab first, he had a pirate's eye patch on his left eye, I chuckled but when she pulled out Marie my heart melted. She was wearing a long princess like purple dress, with silver slippers and a small tiara. My eyes started to water and I had to turn around to take a deep breath and compose myself.

My pretty little princess girl.

How someone as pure and sweet as her can suffer a disease like hers? It wasn't fair, she hadn't done anything. If I ever go to heaven -which I doubt- I was gonna kick some ass up there. When Marie saw me, she came running towards me and jumped in my arms.

Jesus, she had Alice's energy.

Bella stared at her confused again, like yesterday but then something hit her and her eyes cleared and turned big as saucers for a second before a small smile lighted her gorgeous face and her eyes watered. Huh?

"Hey there! What's with the fancy dress?" I asked Marie after I gave her a peck on her rosy cheek.

"I'M RAPUNZEL!" She giggled.

"She insisted on wearing that today, she said she wanted to look pretty." Bella piped in a soft voice like she was in awe… her eyes were red with unshed tears, like she had just had a reveling. Was she ok? I guess she was as overwhelmed as me about everything.

"Well, you are pretty in anything you wear." I told her and then turned to Andrew who was holding Bella's hand and sucking his thumb at the same time. It was a hilarious and cute sight to see him doing that, hold his mommy's hand and wear a pirate eye patch all at the same time.

"And who do we have here? Captain Jack Sparrow?" I hoped I got the name right.

"Aye!" He beamed at me.

"W-o-o-w! This castle is very big… and pretty. Is it yours?" Marie asked looking everywhere in awe at the castle-shaped hotel.

"No it's not. I'm just staying here right now. I have my house in Toronto."

"Are there any treasures?" Andrew asked looking everywhere.

"I don't think so." I chuckled and he turned to Bella.

"Mommy can we go the park now? I wanna find a treasure there."

Bella turned to me in askance and I nodded.

"Ok, let's go." She said but before turning to the street she looked intently at something behind me, I turned my head and saw no one then she put Andrew on her hip and headed to the street, I followed her with Marie in mine.

* * *

><p>Bella and I were silent while sitting on a bench in front of the playground. Andrew was in a big sand box digging and digging looking for his treasure. Marie was next to him playing with her Barbie, oh sorry, <em>Rapunzel<em> as she corrected me. Apparently there was a big difference between Barbie and Rapunzel, Rapunzel wasn't a just doll, she was a princess, Barbie wasn't a princess, she was just a doll. Shit, I still had a lot to learn.

It was a nice day, the sun was above us, and the weather wasn't warm but not too cold to need a jacket or a sweater. There were a few families on the picnic tables, people passed us jogging, the elders were sitting on benches and the ice cream stand was on its same spot like yesterday.

"I called the banks this morning, they'll ship you everything."

"Banks? As in plural?"

I sighed.

"I got you an RCB's and an American Express'."

"And why would I need _two_ credit cards?"

"Just in case."

"In case of what?"

I shrugged. "An emergency? What if they don't take American Express where you are? Or what if there is a problem and it doesn't pass? I don't know, I want you to have a back up."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'll be depositing a certain amount of money every month in your personal account for food and everyday needs. The cards are for anything extra the three of you need or if you suddenly run out of money or an emergency obviously. You don't need my permission for anything, if you make a big purchase just tell me beforehand so I can authorize it when they call."

"Edwa-"

"I don't wanna hear it. Fuck, just take the money, I don't care if you feel uncomfortable. I want them to be fine, I want them to have everything, I want Andrew to have his guitar and if Marie wants a fucking castle I want to fucking give it to her. Just… please, let me support them my way, let me spoil them. I want to make sure they have everything they need and want… otherwise, I won't be in peace."

"Ok, but I'm not going to let you to spoil them rotten, I understand why you are doing this but they still need to learn the value things."

"Of course, I didn't mean it that way, it's your decision anyway, you'll be the one in charge of the money and how to spend it, I just don't want you to have so much limits as you had or to worry about spends or savings, I'm here now."

…

…

"Ok, thanks… sorry, it's not that I don't appreciate it… I do… it _is_ a relief actually, to not worry about those things but… it's just that… I don't feel like _I_ deserve it."

"Nonsense, what you did has nothing to do with my responsibilities."

…

"Thank you, anyways."

I nodded.

"I also called a Real Estate agency, they are going to send me pictures and files of houses available that adjusts to our needs… I'll come back next week to see them" I pointed to the kids with my chin "I'll show you the best options and you can choose the ones you like the most and then you can come with them and see them in person."

She rubbed her face with both hands and pulled at her hair while exhaling a deep breath, but thankfully just nodded instead of arguing.

"Edward, please… nothing extravagant, I'm not comfortable with all this."

"Ok, but it won't hurt to just look, right? I'll just show you everything they give me."

"What was your price?"

"It doesn't matter."

She stood up and turned to me.

"Fuck! Edward please! We don't need a big house! This is too much."

"No it is not and I didn't ask for anything extravagant, you'll see." I said with gritted teeth trying to control my temper.

"Jesus…" She sat down again.

…

…

She spoke again when she calmed down.

"Have you talked to your family yet?"

"No, I think I'm going to tell them on Saturday… at brunch."

"You guys still do that?"

Uhhmmm… well _they_ still do it.

"Yeah." I said "I guess I should warn you though, I'm pretty sure mom will come the second I tell her to meet them."

"Dear god." She cried "Esme… she is going to hate me."

"No she won't" I don't know how but I was pretty sure of that. As for the rest of my family, I seriously don't know what they reactions would be. I know mom and Alice would be ecstatic, mom of being a… _nana_ and Alice because she will have someone to practice with for when her little girl arrive, and also… because I knew how much she loved Bella, and how much she missed her. Which reminds me of… Bella and I needed to get reacquainted.

"Alice is pregnant by the way…" Her face brightened and more tears fell from her eyes.

"She is?" she choked.

"Yeah, she and Jasper got married two years ago, she is barely 4 months… it's a girl."

She chuckled.

"I guess she is finally going to have someone to play make-up and makeovers with."

"That's what I said." I smiled at her.

She smiled back through her tears, and I got lost in her eyes.

…

I don't know how much time it passed but giggles and fits of laugher broke our connection and we turned our heads only to see Andrew chasing Marie with a stick raised as a sword.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"For what?" She asked back

"For them, they are perfect." She sniffed and cleared her tears with the back of her hands.

"Tell me about the rest, how are Emmet and Rosalie?"

"Well…" Shit, now I wished I had paid more attention to my family these past years. "Rose and Emmet are trying to get pregnant, but they haven't been lucky… I think they are taking a fertility test with dad soon."

"You _think_?"

"Well, last time I talked to Emmet he was afraid to do it. He said he felt weird about someone else playing with his swimmers. His words, not mine."

"Silly Emmet." She chuckled. "But I bet there's more to it, maybe he is scared?"

"Yeah, he also mention something about that, but you know him, he is not a guy to talk about feelings. He thinks he is tough, but you know as well as me that he is the softest one." I chuckled without humor.

"Poor Em, he must be worried about not giving Rosalie what she has always wanted."

Shit, I haven't thought about it that way. I wish I had been more supportive when we met for our run last week. Where has my head been all this time? Oh wait! I know… in jerkland.

Fuck, I couldn't believe how much I had neglected my family I didn't even know my future niece's name.

Then I remembered something else.

"What was the last you heard about Angela?"

She grimaced.

"Well, I haven't been in contact with anyone but my dad. He did tell me that she got married too."

"Yeah, she had a baby boy a couple of months ago. She brought him to the clinic."

She gasped and fresh tears fell from her cheeks.

"Wh-a-t? She… she had a baby? A boy?"

I nodded.

"Little Erick?" She guessed and I nodded again. Erick was Angela's dad, he used to be a cop too with Charlie back in Forks, and he died from a shot while he was on duty.

"How is Charlie by the way?" I asked trying to stir the direction away from the people she used to hang out with. Apparently it wasn't doing anything good now.

"He is fine, he walks with a cane now, but he says he is as healthy as a horse. His cholesterol is high though."

"How did he take the news?"

…

…

"Better than I thought, he came here and stayed with me through the whole pregnancy and some afterwards. He didn't wanna leave but I could tell it was too much work for him, so I send him away."

"Did he… mention me?"

…

"Yes…he told me that he had to change his phone number… and that you went to Forks." She looked down.

…

"Yeah… I… I was… looking for you."

…

"He told me to tell you about the pregnancy… he tried to convince me when I was on labor to call you too." I lifted my eyes to look at her. Charlie did that?

"Really? I thought he hated me."

"Oh, he does… but I guess he has better sense than me."

…

"And… why didn't you call? I… I would have come in a heartbeat. You shouldn't have gone through that alone."

She looked away. Her shoulders trembling slightly, she was crying quietly. I lifted my hand but dropped it again, fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her, to comfort her… my heart ache at the sight. I couldn't see her face, but I could feel the pain around her.

…

…

"Bec… because… every time I thought of you… the… the only thing I saw was you… with her. I couldn't stand it." She confessed in a painful whisper.

And now it was my time to cry.

"Bella…" I whimpered

"Don't… please, I don't want to have this conversation now." She turned her head and looked at me firmly.

I nodded and looked back at the kids.

…

"How did it happen?"

"How did it happen what?"

"Why did the placenta detached?"

…

…

"I had a break down… I… I was depressed… I…"

…

"What happened?

…

"I…" she was about to say something, but I could tell she changed her mind and said something else, her face was an open book "I hadn't opened my e-mail since I left… one day I did it… and saw 347 new e-mails on my account… all from you."

I swallowed my bile, why was always everything my fault in some way or the other?

"Why did you open it? What were you going to say before?" I whimpered.

Yeah, I fucking whimpered. Again.

So What?

…

"Nothing."

"Bella, what were you gonna say? Its fine, I wanna know what happened."

"Later." She said and pointed her chin ahead and I saw Marie run towards us.

Shit, we cleared our tears.

Mental note: Buy a fucking pack of Kleenex.

She jumped on my lap and I instinctively wrapped my arms tightly around her, I needed it, and buried my face on her hair, hiding my teary eyes. I placed my palm on her back and felt her heart beat. It was a little bit too accelerated for my liking, I scanned her face and saw that she was a little bit pale, her breaths coming faster.

"Marie, are you Ok?" I asked in concern, she nodded.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah! Do you wanna push me on the swings?" She asked. I looked at the swings and saw a man pushing a girl of about 10 years old. I wanted to do the same, I wanted to push my pretty little girl on the swings, but I didn't want her to overdo herself.

"I'd love too, but why don't you rest for a little bit, do you want me to get you an ice cream?" I said pointing towards the stand. She turned to Bella.

"Can I have an ice cream mommy?" She asked Bella.

"Of course honey."

After getting Marie her ice cream, we sat back on the bench, Andrew spot us and came in our direction.

"Can I have one too?"

"Andrew!" Bella suddenly yelled "What happened to your jeans?" I looked at Andrew's jeans and saw a big hole on his right knee.

"I fell." He said matter-of-factly.

"You fell? Are you Ok?" I asked

"Yeah! And look! I got a big scar!" He said in amazement.

"You are happy about getting a scar?" I asked incredulous, did he hit his head too?

"Yes! Pirates have scars!" I laughed at his logic, at least he was happy.

"Andrew, how do you always manage to ruin your clothes?" Bella said in annoyance.

"Sorry-mommy-I-love-you" He pouted.

The kid had a gift.

Bella cursed under breath.

"Fine, but you don't get an ice cream today."

He pouted again. Fuck! He brought the Platt pout to a whole new level. Bella closed her eyes.

"Not gonna work honey, you used it yesterday."

"But… but mommy?" He whimpered.

…

…

"Aghh!... but honey you have to be careful next time, I can't keep throwing away clothes."

"I prwomise."

…

"Ok, lets go get your ice cream." Bella gave in and we stood up, Marie on my hip. I chuckled and Bella threw me a deadly stare and whispered.

"_That_ is your fault!"

"Hey, don't blame me, blame Esme." I whispered back.

"Yeah, but you where the king of the fucking pout… until now."

I laughed out loud.

God, it felt good.

Well done son, I thought proudly.

* * *

><p>After getting Andrew his chocolate ice cream we walked along the canal, just enjoying the view. Marie decided she wanted to walk now too so I put her on the floor. The kids walked in front of us, bantering about a Flynn Rider… was that another pirate?<p>

Suddenly my phone chirped. It was an e-mail from Heidi.

_To: Edward A. Cullen_

_From: Heidi_

_Good afternoon Dr. Cullen, I talked to Dr. Lawrence personally, he can see you tomorrow at his clinic at 10:00 am. I'll attach the address below. Call me if you need anything else._

"I have an appointment with Dr. Lawrence tomorrow at 10 in the morning."

"You don't waste your time don't you?"

"Nope." I said popping the p.

"Do I have to go too?"

"I think it will be best."

"When do you leave?"

"Friday morning."

She nodded.

…

"Tell me more about Marie… she was breathing hard when climbed on my lap."

"Yeah, that happens sometimes when she exerts herself… but not often, but once she did gave me a scare though. A year ago she and Andrew were playing with some other kids and they were running and jumping… I was watching her, I noticed something was off… like something bothered her, but she kept playing so I didn't gave it another thought. Then I heard Andrew call me, he was crying, Marie was on the ground clutching her chest with her hands. She said she couldn't breathe, she was pale… I called Dr. Lawrence and took her to the hospital. The doctor said she forced her heart too much, and told her that next time she starts to feel pressure on her chest or something similar to just sit down for a bit, to be careful and to not exert herself too much. I guess that's why she came to sit with us before."

"Do you give her oxygen?"

"Yes, after that day the doctor told me to give her oxygen therapy every two nights, and to always carry a mask with me, that if she has another attack or if the pressure becomes too much to just give it to her and that all will be fine."

"Do you have it now?"

"Yes, it's on my bag" She pointed her bag.

"Have you ever used it?"

"No, it only happened that time, and with the night therapies and her medicines she can have a normal life with some limits obviously, she knows she has to be careful and now she just has the occasional small hyperventilation… like the one you noticed, when she exerts herself too much."

I nodded.

"Has the doctor suggested Flolan?"

"No, what's that?"

"Its epoprostenol, maybe he didn't suggested it because she is small, the anticoagulant he gave her makes the blood flow easily on the artery, so her heart won't over work itself, and it's taken on tablet. The epoprostenol expands the artery, and at the same time prevents the bloods cells to aggregate, the thing is that it can only be administrated by shots… and they are painful, but she will be able to have the most normal active life… she would be able to run as much as she wants hopefully without any problem."

"Well… I don't know…is it better? For her? I mean, I don't want her to be in unnecessary pain."

"Tomorrow I'll talk to Dr. Lawrence, maybe he didn't gave it to her for a reason, the only thing that comes to my mind is that because she was small so she didn't need to be able to run or whatever and the shot is painful, but now that she is older… it may benefit her if her problem was more serious, but I don't think so by the way you describe it, maybe it's not necessary, maybe the artery is not too pressed… I don't know, I still don't know her case, that's why I wanna make her new studies and see her medical file."

…

"Ok… I trust your judgment, whatever you think is best… oh shit… Andrew! Your shirt! Honey, _please_ use your spoon for once." Andrew turned and was about to say something but Bella beat him to it "And don't mommy-love-me." Bella said sternly.

He chuckled and took off towards the swings. The little devil was so cute for words. Marie followed him.

"Wow" I laughed, I couldn't remember how many shirt _I_ ruined as a kid.

"Yeah, you'll think I didn't teach him manners, but I swear I did! He's just impossible… like you."

…

Fuck again with the pain.

"It's ok, I'm sure you are doing a good job… no matter what, they… they are perfect to me." I told her and our eyes locked again for god only knows how long.

A wail broke our connection, and we turned to see Andrew fly from the swings into the ground.

"Andrew!" Bella yelled and we broke into a run towards him. He sat and started to bawl, holding his arm against his chest.

I kneel in front of him and tried to examine his arm but he didn't let me.

"NO! MOMMY!"

"I'm here sweetie. Are you Ok?" Bella said sitting on the ground behind him and pulling him on her lap.

"IT HURTS!" he sobbed and my heart shrank.

"Andrew, can I take a look to it? Please, I need to see if it's broken." He shook his head.

"NO!" Andrew yelled at me, and I felt my stomach drop to the floor. He didn't want me to help him.

"Andrew, let Anthony see your arm… he is a doctor."

"But what if he shots me?"

"You are so silly Andrew." Marie said next to me.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Mommy!" Andrew complained.

"Marie, don't call Andrew silly." Bella chastised.

"But he is!" She answered back.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"Why?" Andrew demanded.

"Because he won't hurt you, he's daddy."

…

…

I froze.

…

Andrew stopped wailing.

…

…

…

"Wh-a-t?" Andrew whimpered looking between me and Marie, then turn to Bella, whose face wasn't as surprised as mine but was still out of words.

"Mommy?" he asked Bella his unspoken question.

…

Bella looked at me, I nodded without knowing.

"He's daddy." She whispered to him.

Andrew started bawling again, but this time it wasn't because of his arm. The next think I knew he was against my chest and I had my arms around him. My body started to tremble and that's when I knew I was sobbing too.

"I love you too." He cried against my chest.

"And I love you more." I sobbed.

Somehow Marie managed to get into our embrace too.

For once, I sobbed tears of happiness.

* * *

><p><strong>Awww look at that! Marie <em>did<em> know who Edward was! Some of you were pretty perceptive!**

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! I wanna know what you guys think about the big reveal! **

**Remember, you can follow me on twitter tpec1991 I give sneak peeks during the week!**

**Next chapter someone else will find out about the kids... who would it be? *dun dun duuun!* **

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	9. Chapter 9: I Remember

_Sorry! I accidentally updated the unbetaed chapter, here is the good one!_

**What? a new chapter? but I posted last one four days ago! Well, I don't know what happened... I just had this urge to write because I wanted to tell all of you thank you for you amazing reviews! Even the smallest ones like Amberkey's "This story completely owns me" mean the world to me! thank you soo much to everyone!**

**So enough with the chat, I know you are dying for what's next!**

**Thanks for my awesome beta Cattinson for having this in such short notice! YOU ARE AMAZING!**

**Characters belong to SM I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 9. I Remember<p>

"_**I Remember" – Stabbing Westward**_

_Do you ever wonder where__  
><em>_We would be if we'd have tried__  
><em>_A little harder?__  
><em>_It seems like yesterday__  
><em>_That we were making plans__  
><em>_For the future__  
><em>_But it's been so long__  
><em>_Since I have known the truth__  
><em>_These dreams we've left abandoned__  
><em>_And I'm haunted by your face__  
><em>_And the memory of your kisses__  
><em>_Sweet kisses__  
><em>_Do you remember?__  
><em>_I still remember so much__  
><em>_I remember never feeling so alive__  
><em>_Do you remember?__  
><em>_I still can't forget your touch__  
><em>_We swore that we would never end__  
><em>_We knew our love transcend space and time_

"_I love you too." He cried against my chest._

"_And I love you more." I sobbed._

_Somehow Marie managed to get into our embrace too._

_For once, I sobbed tears of happiness._

My kids, my beautiful kids were between my arms. Marie had known since the moment she saw me, and she had accepted me without any questions. She had wanted to look pretty for_ me_ today, and Andrew… he had told me he loved me, the second he knew who I was, he threw himself at me, choking me with his little arms around my neck and cried to me. He said he loved me too, he had believed what I told him yesterday and he said he loved me too.

There weren't any words to describe the way my heart was hammering now, the way it had grown, there weren't any words to describe this feeling of elation, love and worship I had for these kids. They were a piece of me and her, they were what was left of the love we used to have for each other, they were the ultimate proof that what we had existed. I didn't care anymore of what the future held for me, I didn't care if I was going to be alone for the rest of my life, because I had them. They were enough they were perfect they were my everything. They were a part of her and me. What more could I ask for?

If all the pain I had endured all this years was meant for a reason, it would be them… If there was a reason why Bella and I loved each other once was because of them. I kept trying to find a word that could describe my feelings for them, that could measure all the love I feel for them but I couldn't find one that described even an inch of what I felt for them.

Marie had joined Andrew's cries, but she wasn't as loud, she was just whimpering. I hold them tighter. I heard Bella's cry in the background but for once I couldn't concentrate on her. My whole focus was on finally feeling my little angels on my arms, hearing them call me daddy, hearing them tell me they loved me. It was the best feeling on the world. I know I have only known about them for a day and a half, but it felt like ages… since the moment I found out about them I had been longing for this moment. Since the moment I knew about them I wanted to take them into my arms and hug them so fiercely that they could no longer breathe –not literally of course- finally I could tell them that I loved them too, that I was finally here, that I would take care of them. That they were mine and I would never, ever let anything ever happen to them. That I was their dad. I am their daddy.

Daddy is finally here.

They've been waiting for me.

"Shhh… it's Ok." I tried to calm them especially Andrew who was still sobbing Marie had calmed down a bit. "I'm here… I love you both… I'm sorry… shhh, it's Ok." I whimpered.

"I… I love you daddy." He cried again.

"I know… and I love you more, I'm sorry… I'm here…" I said between my own sobs.

He nodded against my chest.

"I love you too." Marie whimpered and I kissed her head breathing in her scent.

"I love you too my pretty little girl." I heard Bella somehow gasp and whimper at the same time at my nickname for Marie, I lifted my gaze.

I choked at the sight. She was a mess, she was crying hard, her eyes a mix of feelings and emotions, there was sadness, pain, guilt… I knew she felt guilty about not telling me, and I knew what this must be doing to her. I tried to hate her again, I tried to blame only her for this, for putting me through this, for putting _them_ through this, but I didn't want her to be in pain, if she was feeling even a bit of the pain I felt through all these years, it was way more than enough, but regardless… I didn't want her to be in any kind of pain, I could never wish her pain no matter what she did, I couldn't hate her, it had been my fault too, and we had hurt each other. Plus, no matter the circumstances or they way everything had turned out… she still had given me the best gift of all time… them. My little, beautiful and perfect angels. I tried to tell her that with my eyes, that I didn't hate her… that we would work this out, we had to… for them.

She cried harder, hugging herself with her skinny arms.

I could never hate her, I could only love her… and that angered me.

…

"I'm sorry." She mouthed, I nodded.

We continued in our embrace for a few more minutes. Relieving on this wonderful feeling, until I remembered Andrew's arm. I kissed them one more time on their pretty little heads and pulled them off me a little bit, still not letting them go and looked at Andrew. His face was puffy from all the crying, I kissed his tears away and rubbed his wet cheeks with my thumbs.

"An… Andrew… how's your arm honey? Can… can I see it now? I don't want you to be hurt." My voice was hoarse.

He was about to say something but a hiccup escaped his mouth. He couldn't speak yet, my heart ached for him, he nodded and gave me his arm.

I took it in my hands with extreme carefulness and brought it close to my face. After a deep examination I could tell it wasn't broken or had a fissure. It would just leave an ugly bruise on the red spot where he hit the ground.

"It will be fine, it's not broken but it will bruise." I said looking at him but speaking loud enough so Bella could hear me. I saw her nod on my peripheral vision. Andrew nodded and put his arms around my neck again. "I'll give you something for the pain Ok?" I said kissing the side of his head.

"Don't hurt anymore" He whimpered against my neck. More tears fell from my eyes.

…

"Are… are you home now?" He asked softly then and I shut my eyes tight. Fighting the pain in my chest.

Fuck, how do I explain this.

"I'm sorry… but I have to go back… but I promise I'll be back next week." I said in a hoarse voice.

"Why?" he asked pulling himself from me to look at my face.

"Because I… I have to work… remember? But I swear I'll be back, I won't be away that much time anymore. I promise." I didn't want to tell them about them coming to Toronto to live there. Bella and I still hadn't decided when and we still needed to discuss how we were going to manage things. What we were going to tell them.

"Can't you move your hospital here?" He asked and I chuckled without humor.

"I wish kiddo, but it doesn't work like that. I'm sorry." He nodded and hugged me again.

"Then why don't we go with you?" Marie asked hopefully next to me.

Shit, she was a smart kid.

"You _are_ pretty smart don't you?" I asked her while rubbing Andrew back and she smile shyly at me.

"Well, I don't mind living there, I wanna be with you."

"Me neither, Mommy can we go with daddy?" Andrew turned to ask Bella.

…

…

"We'll see about that Ok?" She answered.

"Why can't we go now?" Marie whined.

Bella was about to say something but I interrupted her, saving her from the distress of how to phrase things carefully.

"Marie, I'd love for you to come to live with me to Toronto… but these things take time honey and are difficult… we can't just pack things and move."

"But… I don't want my things… I wanna to be with you, mommy and Andrew, together." She whimpered.

Shit.

"Marie… we'll… we'll be going to _Toronto _with daddy soon, Ok?" Marie's and Andrew's face lit up. "It's just like daddy said, it takes time. Do you understand honey?"

"We going with daddy?" Andrew asked her.

"Yes, we are going to _Toronto_ but not yet, in a few weeks Ok?"

It didn't escaped me she said Toronto instead of home with me, how were we going to explain that later?

Both of them cheered at the news Bella gave them. I was glad she did, I wanted to tell them too but I wasn't sure how to or if Bella wanted to do it yet. I was glad she did, I couldn't stand their sad faces anymore at my departure.

Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I lifted Andrew from my lap to retrieve it.

Carlisle.

Fuck, I couldn't answer right now, I guess Heidi told him about me delaying my return and he wanted to know what was going on. I couldn't answer him right know, I ignored the call.

"So, let's go to the pharmacy so we can take care of you arm Ok?" I told Andrew.

"You won't shot me?" He asked and I laughed. It felt good.

"No kiddo, of course not." He beamed at me.

I stood up with Andrew still on my arms and Bella took a hold of Maries hand and we started our walk to the Shoppers that was across the park. Then my phone rang again. I sighed.

Carlisle again.

I shut off the phone.

"Shouldn't you answer that? It seems urgent." Bella said.

"Carlisle." I said. She understood and nodded. Now wasn't the best time to talk to Carlisle.

"Pops?" Marie asked.

"Yep." I smiled at her popping the p.

"Can I talk to him?" Andrew suddenly said.

"Ehmm… later Ok? Right now we need to take care of your arm or is going to bruise _ugly_." I said making a funny face.

He chuckled.

I was walking on air. I haven't felt this alive in years.

After a quick stop on Shoppers, I bought some arnica for Andrew and rubbed it on his arm which was getting red, and wrapped it in a bandage. He stretched his arms toward me when I was done for me to carry him again. I obeyed gladly.

"I'm hungry." Marie said.

Bella and I looked at our watches. It was almost 1 pm, no wonder why she was hungry it just that after a day like this, eating was the last thing on my list.

I was officially a dad.

"What do you wanna eat?" I asked her.

"I can choose?"

"Yeah, wherever you and Andrew want." Their faces lighted up.

"I want a happy meal!" Andrew said.

"Andrew, something healthy honey." Bella said softly.

"But mommy… daddy say I can choose."

He called me daddy again… my heart melted.

"But something healthier honey… remember Marie can't eat that much junky food." Marie looked down. Then she said in a quieter voice.

"Can't I do it just this time mommy?" Bella's face contorted in pain, I knew mine was the same, I wanted her to be happy on our first meal together, but Bella was right, Marie needed healthier food. She could have junk food, but not too often. Then an idea came to my mind.

"You know what Marie?" I said kneeling down in front of her, sitting Andrew on my knee. "I was thinking… you are wearing this beautiful princess gown and a gorgeous sparkly crown… so I was thinking we should go to a place worthy of it… some place elegant… what do you say if we have lunch at the castle?" I said pointing to the hotel with my head.

Her face could light up the entire New York City on blackout.

"YESS! I wanna eat in the castle!" She screamed in delight jumping up and down, even Andrew got excited. Bella threw me a grateful look.

We entered the restaurant at the hotel, and I asked the host a table for four. She gave us a table for four with a view of the park. She left us a menu and told us that a waiter will take our order in a few minutes.

I couldn't keep the smile from my face for too long. I was on a restaurant, about to have a _proper_ lunch with _my kids_… and her. For a moment I wondered what we would be like if we were a real family, if I hadn't fucked up and Bella and I had actually got married.

If she hadn't left.

I guessed that instead of avoiding each other gazes, our awkward silences and walking with a few feet in between us I would be holding her hand, one kid in one of my arms and the other kid on hers, I would be kissing her temple, giving her chaste kisses on her lips… making her smile… telling her that I loved her.

I rubbed my chest.

"What do you want?" Bella asked them once we were seated.

"What can I have?" Marie asked looking at the pictures on the kids menu.

"Well, what about you have some chicken fingers? They come with mashed potatoes… you like that."

"Ok." She agreed.

"What about you Andrew?"

"Can I have a hotdog?"

"No, that's not healthy food."

He pouted.

"Stop that, not gonna work… choose something else honey."

"Ok, sorry… I want chicken fingers too, but… can I have French fries?" he asked hopefully.

"Ok, you can have those." Bella agreed smiling at him and Andrew smiled back.

I only stared at them it was mesmerizing to see their little banters and the way they were with each other. I was learning a lot of their personalities just by watching them, I was beginning to know them, and I could only love them more by the minute, and Bella was a great mom, caring for them, finding a way of making them eat healthier food but also giving them what they wanted. Like the French fries with Andrew or the mashed potatoes with Marie. My heart warmed.

When the waitress arrived we placed our orders and she left only to come back with our drinks a few minutes later.

"So, pink lemonade for this little princess" she smiled at Marie placing her drink in front of her "coke for the pirate" she winked playfully at Andrew whose eye patch was on his forehead now "lemonade for you miss and iced tea for the gentleman."

"Thank you" Bella and I said in unison and we looked at each other briefly.

"Let me know if you need anything else." And with that she walked away.

"Daddy why don't you wear doctor's clothes?" Andrew asked

"What?" I asked confused.

"Doctor's clothes… like that one." He said pointing at a group of doctors three tables away. I recognized Dr. Murray on the table, he waved at me, and I waved back. I could see the confusion in his face. He didn't know I had two kids… well, guess what?

Me either.

"That's because I'm not working right now." I answered.

"And they are?"

"Yes, they are holding a convention here at the ho-castle."

Bella chuckled at my almost slip.

"What's a convention?" Marie asked.

…

"Mmmm… well, it's kind of a event where a lot of people who are interested on the same thing get together to hear new information about that thing."

"Ohh" Both of them said.

Then they both launched into an easy chatter, I just listened to them. I love to hear them speak about their likes and dislikes, or about kinder garden. Apparently Andrew didn't like his teacher a Miss Varner. He said she yelled too much.

"That time was because you filled her cup of coffee with Purell." Bella said sternly.

"What?" I asked in amazement.

"She has a stinky mouth!" Andrew defended himself.

"Dear god!" I laughed.

He was a hilarious and mischievous kid… just like my brother.

"Yeah, imagine my mortification when he told that to Miss Varner in front of the principal."

I laughed harder.

"Oh my god, Andrew, you can't put stuff in people's drink, it can be dangerous."

"Yeah, that's what mommy tolds me."

The food arrived and the kids dig into it. I barely touched my food… I was too occupied watching them.

Suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder, I turned my head to see Dr. Murray smiling down at the kids.

"Wow Dr. Cullen, I didn't know you had kids." He said gesturing to them.

Yeah, me neither I wanted to say.

"Dr. Murray" I greeted "well… yes… these are my children, Andrew and Marie… and this is Isabella… their mother." Dr. Murray nodded in understatement.

Bella and I weren't together.

"A pleasure to meet you miss." He said shaking Bella's hand.

"The pleasure is mine." Bella answered back shyly.

"Wow, congratulations Cullen they are beautiful, especially this little princes over here" he said rubbing Marie's cheek making her chuckle, I smiled proudly, yeah… they are beautiful. "Well, I just wanted to say a quick hello… I'll be seeing you around Cullen, and please give another thought to that article we talked about, we would like for you to write again… please let me know if you are interested."

"Thank you Dr. Murray. I promise I'll think about it."

"Thank you, and tell Carlisle I say hello, I haven't seen him in a while, I hope he is in good health?"

"Yes, he is perfectly fine… I will tell him your regards."

"Thank you. Have a nice afternoon." He said before turning around and walking back to his table.

"Who was he?" Bella asked.

"He is one of the editors at The Doctors Journal."

"Oh, didn't you have a column there?"

"Yeah… but not anymore."

"Why? I though you liked it? He seemed to truly want you to write that article."

"I… I don't know, I got tired and… I just didn't feel like writing anymore."

"Oh." Bella said.

…

…

"Do you still paint?" I asked.

…

"Ehmm… no, I don't have the time anymore." She said gesturing to the kids.

Andrew had forgotten about his food and was drawing on a coloring sheet the waitress had brought with the menus. Marie was devouring her mashed potatoes.

We continued our meal, the kids asking me questions about the "hospital" about their grandparents and their uncles and aunts. I was amazed about how much they knew. Bella had even told them about their jobs.

After lunch I showed them the "Castle" when we were about to head to the park again a staff of the hotel approached me with a message. Carlisle had called, he wanted me to call him back, he wanted to know if I was ok. I thanked the bell boy and turned on my phone. I had sixteen missed calls from Carlisle and Alice.

Shit.

When we were on the playground again I walked away from the kids and called them back. Carlisle's went to voicemail and Jasper picked up Alice's phone.

"Shit dude! Fucking finally! Everyone has been worried sick… why haven't you answered your phone?"

"Sorry, I was busy… I was in a meeting."

…

"With who?"

"Why does it matter? Where is Alice?"

"She is asleep, she was worried so I made her some tea and she fell asleep."

"Oh, sorry… I'm fine. I just… I didn't want to talk to anyone and I was truly busy."

…

"Edward… what's going on?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Alice was right… you sound weird."

"I sound weird?"

"Well, I don't know if weird it's the right word… but you sound different… what's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm at Major's Hill Park… in front of the hotel."

"What are you doing there?"

JEEZUS!

"I just needed some air… God! Can everyone please get off my back a little bit?"

"I'm sorry dude… but please, just put yourself in our shoes for a minute… you just disappear after Sunday night, next we hear you went to Ottawa without telling anyone, you stay longer that what you were supposed to, you don't answer our calls, make a weird and alarming call to Alice, turn off you phone and the receptionists can't get a hold of you… what do you want us to think? Especially after the way you took off on Sunday?"

…

"I'm fine I just need time to… to figure some things out. Fuck Jasper… I'm not suicidal I thought we had cleared that up already."

"I know Edward, but still… accidents happen, like the last one… I'm not implying anything but fuck Edward! You don't help yourself either." He said in frustration "Dude, what the fuck is going on?" Jasper never lost his demeanor.

…

…

"Please tell everyone I'll see them on Sunday at brunch… I'll explain everything there."

I hang up and turned off the phone.

I turned around and saw Bella sitting in a swing. The kids a few feet in front of her, Marie was playing with _Rapunzel_ and Andrew was next to her with a small action figure of Jack Sparrow. Bella had the sweetest smile on her lips while staring at them, I could see the love and devotion she had for our kids in her eyes. She completely loved them, they owned her too, I knew.

She had looked at me like that once.

Marie stood up and ran towards her, jumping on her lap. Bella put her arms around her and hugged her, sweetly giving her a soft long kiss on her cheek Marie turned her head and kissed her back, her smile so sweet and content at being on her mother's warm embrace. Then Andrew stood up too and went to stand on between Bella's knees, he stood on his toes and kissed his mother too, but loudly. Bella smiled back at him and said something to him, the three of them laughed and tears sprung free from my eyes. I took my phone from my pocket, turned it on again and snapped a picture.

I stared at the little screen for a long moment. Looking at what I lost.

My family.

I saved the picture as the wallpaper on my phone. I lifted my gaze and smiled at the bitter sweet moment I was seeing. I wondered how much different our lives could have been. If I had just stayed home that night as I was supposed to. If I hadn't answered my brother's call, if I had just said no, if I hadn't stayed longer… if I had listen to myself.

If just one single thing of that list had happened, things would be so much different… I wouldn't have lost her I wouldn't have lost my family. We wouldn't be here, in this awkward, difficult and painful situation. Bella and I would have been married for four years, we would be living in our house, sharing our room, her blue sweater wouldn't still be there on the floor next to her favorite sneakers, her favorite blouse wouldn't be falling from its hanger, her mug wouldn't still be on the sink, my guitar wouldn't be on the floor on the living room… life would have continued. We would have been happy, I was sure of it. Because we were perfect, we were perfect for each other, and if you add the perfect children to that equation, we would have been a perfect family.

The perfect family… happy, full of love, devotion, trust, smiles and laughs. I would give anything to have that opportunity back, I would give anything to have her back in my life. She was perfect, the perfect lover, the perfect woman, and the perfect mother… my perfect pretty girl.

I knew we needed to have that talk, we needed to talk about that day… but I knew she wasn't ready… _I_ wasn't ready, I dreaded that talk mostly because I wouldn't know what to say… I didn't know what happened that night, the only thing I could say to her was that I was sorry, that I didn't mean to hurt her, at all… but I knew it wasn't enough to make the pain go away, I knew it didn't mean anything to her, I told her I was sorry that day and she still left me. I didn't blame her.

I didn't blame her for leaving me, I deserved it, I didn't blame her for not wanting to see me or for hating me or for never forgiving me. The only thing I blamed her for was for keeping them away from me, but I still understand why she did it, I don't agree with her, she should have told me but I understand why she did it. That's why I didn't hate her, that and because I still loved her like the very first day.

Everything I used to love about her, I still do if not even more. Her motherly side made everything better. Her smile was sweeter, her blush was more adorable, her eyes even though I could tell were sad and tired sparkled like never before when she played with them or when Andrew told a joke or Marie said something smart.

I wished I could still do those things to her, I wish I could still make her smile like that, make her blush like that, I loved to make her blush… It was my job. Right now, that I was seeing her on her mommy role, I longed to go to her and wrap my arms around her, kiss her endlessly, tell her how much she still meant for me, how perfect she was, how much of a great mother she was, how I had missed her and how I didn't want to ever let her go. I wish I could take her in my arms, run to my hotel room and make love to her, to cherish every single part of her body, to worship every inch of her, but at this moment… I would happily give away a limb if I could just hold her hand, I'll be happy with just that. Hold her hand.

Bella lifted her head, as if sensing me staring at her. Our eyes locked and I lost myself on the depth of her gorgeous eyes. They were like magnets, pulling me to them, drawing me in.

"_Bella?" I called when I stepped into our house._

"_Pretty boy?" She asked, I laughed._

"_Who else? Or are you waiting for someone else?" I asked mockingly hurt as I dropped the car keys on a nearby table._

"_Funny funny you… I'm in the kitchen."_

"_I can tell, it smells delicious… whatcha doing?" I asked but I was pretty sure what it was._

_I entered the kitchen and was met with her ass up in the air, her head in the oven. Little Eddie stood up to see too. I walked towards her._

"_Yumm… can I have a piece of that?" I asked as I gave her a small pinch on her right cheek. She stood up with a hot tray on her hands. The smell of freshly done cheese cake assaulted my nostrils._

"_Sorry honey but __**dessert**__ is for after dinner." She said before carefully kissing me hello, keeping the hot tray away from us._

"_But it's Valentine's Day." I whined when she turned around._

"_Sorry pretty boy, but you don't want to ruin your appetite." She winked while putting the tray on the kitchen island._

"_Oh don't worry about that, you know I'm insatiable with all things concerning you." I said as I wrapped my arms around her and brought her back against my chest. I sneaked a hand under her shirt and palmed her left breast, massaging it. I brought my mouth to her neck and gave her one open mouth kiss, sucking, nuzzling. She was delicious, I even forgot about the cake. And that's something considering it was my favorite. She sighed and I felt the weight of her body on my arms as she reclined on my chest. Then with my other hand I unbuttoned her jeans and let my hand go there inside her panties, I traced two fingers over her folds, feeling her heat, spreading her already there wetness. I heard her moan and her head fell back on my shoulder._

"_Edward… wait… the…"_

"_Mhhmm…"_

_I spun her around grabbed her by her waist and sat her on the kitchen counter. She wrapped her legs around me and I continued my ministrations on her. I heard her breathing coming faster and faster, her hips humping forward. _

"_Edward… wait."_

"_Uh-uh." I said and attacked her mouth._

_After two too short minutes she grabbed my hand and pulled it away from her sex._

"_Pretty boy… it's our first valentines together… I want to make it special… please. I don't want to spoil it with a quickie on the kitchen counter." She said, still breathing hard._

"_But…" I pouted._

"_Don't you dare to do the pout! I'm serious I spend all day cooking… I want to make it perfect." She said sternly._

"_I'm sorry baby, you are right… it's just that I missed you so much today… and coming home to find you doing all this for us… I'm just so lucky to have you, I'm so thankful to have__** you**__… and you phenomenal __**ass**__." I winked while pinching her butt again. She blushed and rolled her eyes._

"_I thought you were a boobs man."_

"_I love your boobs, but I'm happy with anything you can offer me. As long as it's from you." I kissed her softly._

"_Well… you don't have to worry about that, I'm all yours." She said and wrapped her arms around my neck pulling me for another kiss._

"_And you own me completely." I whispered against her lips._

"Daddy!" Marie called me bringing me out of my memories. I walked towards them.

"What's up pretty little girl?"

"What were you doin over there?"

"I was making a phone call." I sat on the swing next to Bella. Marie climbed out of her lap to jump at mine. I hugged her and kissed her hair, smelling her sweet scent, but I got a swift of Bella's scent on Marie's hair… she smelled just like I remembered. My insides shrank I had missed her smell too.

"Marie! Look what I found!" Andrew called her, making her jump from my lap and leaving me alone with Bella on the swings.

…

"Who was it?" Bella asked worriedly, I could tell she dreaded to see my family.

"Jasper."

…

…

"He still doesn't know… don't worry about it, and I told you before… they won't hate you."

She nodded but the worry didn't leave her face.

I stared at the floor, and saw her bag by her feet it was a little open so I could see a glimpse of what had to be Marie's mask.

"What did you tell Marie… about her sickness… how much does she know? Did you explain it to her?"

…

"I didn't explain it to her in detail, she knows she has to be careful, that she is not as… _in good shape_ as Andrew or other kids, but I didn't tell her that she was sick. I tried to find a way of making her understand this without scaring her. So I made her watch Nemo."

"Nemo? As in the fish?"

"Yes, you see… in the movie Nemo has a smaller fin… a happy fin, I told Marie that her case was similar, but instead of fin she had a happy lung… a smaller lung, that like in the movie it didn't make her different, or less than any other kid, on the contrary she was special because she needed extra care, and that she still could do anything she wanted… just with extra care. She understood and didn't have a problem with it. So when anyone asks her if she is sick, she says no, that she just has a happy lung."

Wow… I couldn't have done it better.

"That was a great idea, I wouldn't want her to be in unnecessary stress, when the time comes and she is older we can explain it better to her."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

…

"So, are you still coming tomorrow with Dr. Lawrence?"

"If you want to."

"Do _you_ want to?"

"Do you want me to want to?"

"Just answer me." I said, god she was still as stubborn, but I couldn't help to chuckle at the situation.

She chuckled too.

"I want to. Besides, I think I need to be there, he doesn't know you are the father, I don't think he would just give you Marie's medical file like that."

"True, I didn't even think of that."

Thunders make us look at the sky, I didn't notice how dark it had gotten, and big dark clouds were covering the sun. Andrew and Marie came running towards us as if their life depended on it. Their eyes were wide with fear. Andrew jumped in Bella's arms and Marie in mines.

"They are scared of storms." Bella explained, and I laughed.

"Just like their mother." I told her and she threw me a playful glare.

_I was working on my studio/music room when the lights went out. It was the middle of July in the middle of the night and was storming like hell outside._

"_Edward!" Bella called for me, I detected nervousness and panic on her voice._

"_I'm coming honey, where are you?" I asked while using my phone as a lantern._

"_I'm in the kitchen!"_

"_What are you doing down stairs? I thought you were asleep?" I asked, she hadn't been feeling well these last few days, the stress of the wedding wearing her down. _

"_I got hungry… I wanted pop tarts." She said still nervous, she hated storms which was funny since she had lived in forks for a good part of her life._

"_Are there any left? You have been obsessed with them lately." I teased._

"_Funny funny you." She muttered "Get here already! I can't see a damn thing!"_

_I stepped into the kitchen and she threw herself at me, I kissed her forehead soothing her._

_Suddenly a thunder broke into the sky, illuminating the kitchen for a second making her yelp._

_I laughed._

"_Come on pretty girl, let's take you to bed."_

"_You'll stay with me?"_

"_Of course." I kissed her nose and put my arm around her waist directing her out of the kitchen._

"_Wait!" She said, turned around and I lifted my phone so she could see better. She opened the pantry and took the whole box of pop tarts._

"_Just in case." She said looking down making me laugh more._

_God I loved her._

"Let's go back to the hotel, before the storm hits. They have a kid's gym there."

She nodded and we stood up each with one kid on our arms.

We entered the hotel, a lot of people making their way in too, then Bella turned to me.

"Edward, I think we should go. It's getting late and I don't want to be in a cab when the storm hits, besides its getting cold and windy and Marie doesn't have a jacket."

I agreed, even though my heart was screaming at me to not let them go.

"Ok, so what about tomorrow? Do you want to meet here, at your apartment or at Dr. Lawrence's clinic?" I asked

"Well, I'll prefer if we me-" Bella stopped abruptly and her eyes went wide looking at something behind my back.

I turned to see what make her react like that, only to be met with my father's wide incredulous eyes.

Fuck.

…

…

"Dad?" I asked

…

…

He didn't say anything, he didn't move. I tried to talk to him but he didn't even look at me. His eyes were staring directly at Andrew… on Bella's arms.

"Carlisle?" I tried again "What… what are you doing here?"

"Carlisle? Is he pops?" Marie asked making Carlisle to focus his eyes on her. They widened even more, as if spotting Marie for the first time, and then he looked back at Andrew, then at Marie again and settled on Andrew again.

Shit.

…

He gasped, covered his mouth with his hand and tears fell from his eyes.

I knew the feeling.

I turned to Bella, I could see the fear in her eyes.

"Shh… its ok, let me talk to him." I put Marie on the floor and Bella did the same with Andrew.

"We'll be in the restaurant." Bella said in a shaky voice.

"Yes, my room is 1901… order anything you like." She nodded, took a hold of one hand of each kid and walked to the restaurant. The last thing I saw before they went in was the confused expressions on Andrew and Marie's little faces.

"Who is he mommy? Was he pops?" I heard Marie ask.

I turned to Carlisle, his gaze was where they just walked through the door of the restaurant.

"Dad? Are you ok?" I asked tentatively, making him to finally look at me.

"Wha… huh?"

…

…

Shit, I wasn't prepared for this. How do I explain?

"Remember the little girl Alice saw Bella with?" He nodded.

…

…

"Her… her name is Marie Esme…" He gasped "she has a twin brother… his… his name is Andrew."

He didn't say anything, but I could see him asking me reassurance with his eyes.

I nodded.

"They are mine… they are… they my kids."

"Oh my god." He said "How… how did it happen?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I tried to joke.

"Don't make jokes now." I sighed.

…

"When Bella left… she was three months pregnant… she had twins... Marie and… and Andrew."

"Did you know?" He asked, probably wondering if that was the reason why I behaved the way I did all these years.

"No, I didn't."

"Why didn't she say anything?" He said, I couldn't tell how he felt about it, if he was angry, happy or amazed… or the three of them.

"Long story, the thing is… Bella told them about me, about you… about the whole family… they know who you are, but they don't know what happened, and Bella told them I was just working in another city… so please… I beg you, don't make this any harder, please… can you compose yourself a little, I'm pretty sure they are wondering what's wrong… especially Andrew, he wants to meet you so bad." I pleaded, his eyes softened.

"He does?" He asked incredulous.

"Yes, he wants to be a doctor too… they call you pops." I smiled tentatively.

"Oh god… Am I a pops?"

I nodded.

…

"But… why didn't Bella say anything?" I grimaced.

"Well… it's kind of my fault too so please don't be hard on her… it's a long story."

"Of course… it's not my place to judge but she _should_ have told you, it's just… it's just that… oh my god! Andrew? Marie Esme?"

"I know… but dad, please… it's already pretty hard as it is… _please_ don't play the judgmental card on her… I don't want to complicate things even more."

"No, of course not… I told you, it's not my place. But, oh my god, this is huge! Nobody would believe this!"

"Please, don't tell anyone yet… I'll tell them on Sunday, if you tell them now I'm sure they'll come over and I don't want to pressure Bella more or to put the kids in unnecessary stress, they are pretty sensitive as it is."

He nodded.

"You are right I'll let _you_ tell them."

"Thank you." I said sincerely.

He looked at the direction of the restaurant. His eyes awed and hopeful.

…

…

"Come, let's meet your grandchildren."

* * *

><p><strong>Some of you were right! It was Carlisle! Next Chapter... telling the Cullens!<strong>

**Remember to follow mw at tpec1991 for sneek peeks! ;)**

**See you soon!**

**saludos!**

**tpec**


	10. Chapter 10:Everybody Hurts

**Hey guys! I just wanted to wish you a belated Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you had a lovely day! So, finally here is Chapter 10... and I wanted to apologize for what happened with last chapter, I accidentally posted the unbetaed one and didn't noticed it until later that night, but I fixed it if you want to check it out ;)!**

**Also I wanted to clear something a couple of you have asked about the twins age and going to kindergarten, In mexico we refer kindergarten as daycare too, sorry about the confusion... but the kids aren't on an advanced class or something, but they'll turn 4 soon so their are going to kindergarten soon, thats why Andrew wanted to learn how to play because he wants to play with the big boys ;)... also when he said he was going to first grade, I didn't mean it to sound as in next year or fall, I meant it in the future... sorry, I think I phrased it wrong but I already fixed it.**

**And thanks again for my wonderful beta Cattinson who's support means everything to me... you are a star!**

**Thanks again for everyone who reviewed! I don't answer every review but I read the ALL and they motivate me to continue with this story! thanks a lot!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 10. Everybody Hurts<p>

"**Everybody Hurts" – Avril Lavingne**

Don't know, don't know if I can do this on my own  
>Why do you have to leave me?<br>It seems, I'm losing something deep inside of me  
>Hold on, on to me<p>

Now I see  
>Now I see<p>

Everybody hurts some days  
>It's ok to be afraid<br>Everybody hurts  
>Everybody screams<br>Everybody feels this way  
>And it's ok<br>La di da di da  
>It's ok<p>

It feels like nothing really matters anymore  
>When you're gone<br>I can't breathe  
>And I know you never meant to make me feel this way<br>This can't be happening

"_Come… let's meet your grandchildren."_

Dad and I walked towards the restaurant I could tell his mind wasn't there. He was awed, I could see the shine in his watered eyes.

"How do you feel about it?" He whispered to me.

…

"I can't even explain… I… I just know I can't live without them now."

He nodded.

"Do they know who you are?"

"Yes." I smiled.

"How did you tell them?"

"We didn't… Marie figured it out by herself… the moment she saw me, but didn't say anything until today… when Andrew fell and he wouldn't let me see his arm."

"Why?"

"I don't know… I think he was afraid… of me giving him a shot… he is a momma's boy, he was crying for Bella."

"What happened then?" He asked with true curiosity.

I smiled.

"Marie told him that I wouldn't hurt him… because I was daddy." I said and I felt my eyes water too.

"Oh god… but, how did she know?"

"Good question… but I seriously don't know… Bella says she got my brains." I said pointing at my head. His eyes went wide in wonder.

"What else? Tell me about them." He asked with that gleam he always had when getting new information, about getting knowledge about anything but this gleam was different, it was brighter.

"Andrew is really funny, he talks a lot, I think we can blame Alice for that… or… Andrew. He's like me in some things… but he is mostly like Andrew."

"He is?" He asked and fresh tears fell from his eyes.

Dad blamed himself for years after the car accident. He said he should have driven safer, it took him years to make peace with what happened and to accept it had been an accident. I know what seeing my son must be doing to him he would feel like a piece of my brother had returned to us.

"Yeah, he is as mischievous as him and kind of manipulative now that I think of it." I chuckled remembering how he had pouted to get everything he wanted. "He is also very witty, but he is so taken to Bella, like I was to mom."

He laughed drying his tears with the back of his hands.

"You were also a mischievous kid Edward." He said.

"Well… but I was mostly following Andrew's lead, I wasn't as creative as him."

"True, but still… when the two of you were together you were a force to be reckoned with."

"Yeah, I guess so." I laughed again.

Carlisle stared at me for a long moment.

…

…

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing." He smiled and we walked into the restaurant.

Bella was sitting on a booth her face full of worry and fear she was biting her lip so hard I thought she was going to bleed. Andrew was on her lap having an ice cream and Marie was next to her having another ice cream too, both of them serious for once. When Marie saw me she jumped from the booth and ran to towards me jumping into my arms, I positioned her on my hip and she hid her face in my neck.

"Hey sweetie… what's going on?" She shook her head, not looking at me.

"Marie? Are you Ok? Everything is fine sweetie." I rubbed my hand on her back, soothing her. "Marie, look at me honey… I want you to meet someone."

She lifted her pretty little head tentatively and looked at Carlisle and then she hid her face against my neck again. I saw Bella walk towards us in my peripheral vision Carlisle's eyes were glued to Marie.

"Marie, do you know who this man is?"

She nodded.

"Pops" She said softly.

…

"Then, why are you hiding? Are you scared?"

She shook his head.

"He is pops." She said as a way of explanation. Then it hit me, she was just shy and wasn't prepared to meet him. Wonder why it had been different with me.

"Exactly. It's fine… He wants to meet my pretty little girl, he wants to meet you honey… could you please lift you head? He wants to see how pretty you are." I said in a soft voice.

Marie chuckled and after a few seconds she lifted her head. I heard my dad's breath getting caught in his throat. I knew what he was seeing.

Mom.

"Hi there." Carlisle said in an awed happy voice.

"Hi." Marie said and the most amazing thing happened, after Marie gave him a once over, pretty much like the one she gave me the first time she saw me, she stretched her arms towards Dad. As if it was automatic, dad took her from my arms and cradled her on his chest, kissing her head.

At that moment I knew she owned him. I could see how my dad's hands were shaking in joy, fear and wonder. Dad was a daddy's girl Alice had been spoiled rotten while growing up. Dad pulled her from his chest a little so he could see her face properly. He cleared another tear with his thumb.

"Wow, you really are the prettiest girl ever. You look a lot like your grandma." Carlisle said with a wide smile on his face.

"Nana Esme?" Marie asked.

…

"Yeess… like nana Esme."

"My name is Esme too."

"I know, your… _daddy_ told me." Carlisle looked at me briefly he must be feeling weird calling _me_ daddy. I smiled in encouragement, I loved to be called daddy, I was_ their_ daddy. "She has a pretty name, just like you." He said pinching her cheek which made Marie giggle, making dad's eyes soften even more.

I felt a tug on my pants and looked down to see Andrew's expecting face. I leaned down and put him on my hip.

"Dad, this is Andrew… Marie's twin brother."

"I'm older." Andrew said happily which made Marie roll her eyes at him.

I chuckled and Carlisle looked at me briefly, a smile on his face.

"Hello Andrew…"

"You don't look like daddy." Andrew pointed out.

Carlisle laughed.

"Of course not, daddy looks like nana." Marie said.

"How do you know?" Carlisle asked.

"Mommy told us." Marie said matter-of-factly which made Carlisle look at Bella for the first time.

…

…

…

"Hello Bella, nice to see you again." Carlisle said in that calm demeanor he always portrayed. Who knew what was going on inside his head.

"He-hello Carlisle… nice to see you too." She said nervously.

He nodded and they held each other's eyes for a minute, don't know what silent conversation they were having but Bella gave him a small shy smile and Carlisle smiled back, then turned to Andrew again.

"So, Andrew… that's a pretty name you have too."

"YES! Like uncls Andrew!" Dad and I both stiffen, Bella looked down. Had she told them about him too?

…

"You know about him?" I asked.

"Yes, mommy says he's an angel now… and take care of us." Andrew smiled.

A knot formed in my throat.

"Yes… he is an angel now." Dad answered for me in a hoarse voice.

…

…

"Andrew… why don't you tell pops what you wanna be when you grow up?" Bella broke the silence. Andrew's face lit up.

"I wanna works in your hospital!"

"What?" Carlisle asked confused.

"The clinic." I mouthed.

"Oh! Of course, I'll love to have you there… but you'll have to study hard though." Andrew pouted.

"Can't you just make me a doctor? S'your hospital."

We laughed.

"Sorry kiddo, it doesn't work like that. You still have to go to school." I said.

"You went to school?" Andrew asked me.

"Of course." I tipped his nose with my finger, and then Marie yawned.

"Are you tired honey?" Dad asked and Marie nodded resting her head on dad's shoulder. Dad kissed the top of her head, soothing her back with one hand.

Bella eyed Marie.

"I think it's time to go, she needs to rest…" Bella threw me a pointed look "it has been quite a day." She was right, both of them must be pretty tired, especially Marie.

"Are you coming home now daddy?" Andrew asked.

…

…

…

"Sorry kiddo, I can't… I'm staying here remember? Plus, I need to talk to pops."

He scrunched his face in confusion.

"But… we seeing you tomorrow?"

"Of course, I'll see you tomorrow Ok?" I said kissing his forehead then dad handed a sleepy Marie to Bella.

"I'll go and get you a cab." He said and left me alone with Bella and the kids.

…

…

"That went well." I said and Bella let out a breath I didn't know she was holding.

"Yes… I think so."

…

"So about tomorrow… where do you wanna meet?" I said as we turned to the exit of the restaurant and headed slowly to the lobby.

"Well, I'll think it would be better if we meet at Dr. Lawrence's clinic. So you don't have to go all the way to the apartment…"

"I don't mind stopping at the apartment first."

…

"Well, I don't know… what do you prefer?" She said rubbing Marie's head on her shoulder, she was fast asleep, Andrew's head was on my shoulder too, his breathing slowing… it won't be too long before he falls asleep too.

It had been a long day.

"It doesn't matter I asked you first… what do you want?" I said.

"Well, Marie gets nervous when we go to the doctor… so I think it'll be better if she sees you first, so she won't stress. After what happened today with Andrew… I think she trusts you."

My heart melted when Bella said Marie trusted me… my pretty little girl trusted me. She knew I'll never hurt her, she had said so herself.

"Then I'll pick you up at nine thirty… is that ok?"

"Perfect."

…

"Why does she get nervous?"

"I don't know… I think it's because it makes her feel that something is wrong with her… especially after her attack, she is afraid of hospitals… she got really scared."

My heart ached at that she was too small to be afraid… especially of illnesses and hospitals. Those were terms she didn't need to worry about now.

"Is Carlisle coming tomorrow too?" She asked when we reached the lobby.

"Well… I guess he will have questions, about them… I'll have to tell him about Marie's condition though… after the way he looked at her today I'm pretty sure he'll want to come too. I'm pretty sure Marie owned him the minute he set his eyes on her." I smiled at Marie's sleeping form.

"Yeah, I noticed it…" Bella said kissing Maries hair, she stirred a bit and Bella made a cooing sound.

My eyes watered at the sound, it was like music. Mommy Bella was what she was best at. Who would have known?

I took a deep breath to keep myself composed.

"Edward…"

…

…

"Yes?" I asked her to continue when she didn't, she was worrying her lip again.

…

"Is the rest of your family coming?"

"No… at least not yet."

"It's not that I don't want them to come, of course I want them to know your family…"

_Your_ family.

Those words hurt like a bitch… of course she didn't see herself as part of my family anymore. We weren't an item… then… what were we? We weren't a divorced couple either… were we just exes? That was a lame term for what we used to have… we were more than a couple, she had been more than just my fiancé… she _is_ more than anything else to me… she _is_ the mother of my kids for god sakes! Then what do you call to the love of your life, who is the mother of your kids, who had been about to marry you once, who still is an important part of your life even though you are not together… my forever?

"But… I think it has already been enough of an emotional roller coaster for two days… I don't want to overwhelm them." She continued.

"Don't worry about it… dad is not going to tell them, he is gonna let me tell them… and I promise they'll be good. I'll make sure of it."

She seemed to hesitate… she didn't trust me. I didn't blame her I broke my most important promise to her once. I had promised her forever.

"Bella, seriously… I don't want them to be too stressed either, I promise… they'll be good dad is going to help me. I'll explain to them… our _situation_ they'll understand… they won't make it harder on us."

She nodded avoiding my gaze.

I never wanted to see her eyes so much than at that moment. I wanted to make sure she believed me, that she trusted me but that was a long shot. I broke my promises… I hurt her.

"Ok." She said when we reached the entrance to the hotel, dad was standing next to a cab, he opened the door for Bella but she motioned me to put Andrew first. I leaned down and sat Andrew on the middle seat of the cab, fastening his seatbelt. He was more asleep than awake but when he felt me pull away he opened his eyes.

"We seeing you tomorrow?" He asked in a small voice. I sat next to him on the cab facing him and passed my hand though his hair, sending it in every direction in the process.

"Of course, I told you Andrew… I'm here now Ok? I won't leave you… you'll see me tomorrow and I'll come back next week… I promise kiddo."

…

"But… why you not staying home with us?"

…

"Because… that's your home with mommy… so I'm staying here." I said trying my hardest damn not to break down in front of him, it pained me like hell to see them go home without me, I wanted so much to see them in their PJs, to tuck them in and kiss them good night… he just stared at me confusingly, not understanding why I wasn't going home with them. After a long minute he nodded and looked down.

"Andrew, look at me… you'll see me tomorrow Ok? I'm here babe… I won't leave you. I promise."

"But you leaving tomorrow."

…

"Just for a few days… and in a few weeks you'll be coming to Toronto with mommy and Marie… and you'll see me more often. I'll get you a guitar and I'll teach you play it… I'll take you to High Park and I'll teach you to play soccer too for when you go to kindergarten… just like you wanted. I promise kiddo… I love you. You believe me right?"

…

He nodded looking down.

"I love you too daddy. I'm happy you here." He said in a trembling voice.

"Oh Andrew…" I leaned down and hugged him fiercely. "Please don't cry babe… and I'm happier to be here, I love you and your sister so much… you have no idea. I promise I won't be gone for too long… I'll never leave you Ok?" I whispered, after a moment I pulled away and after kissing his cheek I cleared his tiny tears from his rosy cheeks with my thumbs.

"See you tomorrow kiddo."

"See you tomorrow daddy." He said surer.

I got out from the cab and turned to see my dad talking quietly to Bella, Bella's eyes were watered but she didn't look scared or uncomfortable… she looked relieved, at peace. Then Carlisle hugged her carefully as Marie was between them, kissed her on her cheek and let her go. Bella mumbled thanks and turned to me, who was holding the door, open for her. She walked towards me avoiding my gaze as she had done for a good part this past couple of days, but before leaning down to get inside she turned to me and looked directly into my eyes, the door between us.

"See you tomorrow." She said.

It took me a moment to answer her as I got lost in the depth of her eyes again. My hands were tingling and begging me to touch her, my arms fighting against my will to reach in and hold her, my heart screaming me to lean in and kiss her, to kiss her goodnight. Thank god the door was between us.

"See you tomorrow." I said and with that she got into the cab and I closed the door behind her. The taxi took off and I kept staring at it even after it disappeared rounding the next block.

I felt someone pat my back and turned my head to see my dad's sad eyes.

"Come on son… let's have a beer."

* * *

><p>Dad and I were pulling up at their duplex home at 9:30. I saw Marie and Andrew's face from the front window, when they saw me their smiles blinded me for a second before they disappear and the door to their home opened. They came running towards me and I kneeled before them with my arms wide open. When they crashed against me I wrapped my arms around them and breathed them in.<p>

"Hey! Good morning!" I greeted them.

"You came!" Andrew said.

"Of course kiddo, I promised you didn't I?"

He nodded and both lifted their head.

"Pops!" Both squealed.

Last night, after Bella left dad and I went to the bar of the hotel. I told him everything, from running into Bella in the park to them moving to Toronto and about Marie's condition. The second I mentioned Pulmonary Hypertension his face had gone white as a ghost. I explained to him that it didn't sound severe by what Bella told me but that I was still going the next day to see Dr. Lawrence for a catch up and to get her medical file and that I was going to take care of her from now on. He seemed relieved and as I predicted he wanted to come too. Before heading to our rooms, dad called mom and assured her that everything was fine, that he had found me and that he was going to return with me on Friday. That he wanted to help me with something, dad avoided about what he was going to help me with and mom assumed it had something to do with the article. When I asked dad why he had come in the first place he told me that when he found out about my call to Alice he suspected something, so he called Dr. Murray to verify my story about that article… imagine his surprise when he told him that he had just saw me having lunch with his grandsons.

"Hey there!" Dad ruffled Andrew hair sending it in every direction, and then he leaned down to kiss each of their heads and picked up Marie and gave her a peck on her cheek positioning her on his hip I did the same with Andrew and lifted my head when I heard Bella make his way towards us.

She was a vision.

Every day she was more beautiful than the last. Her green sundress made her beautiful eyes and hair stood out from her pale creamy like skin. The bodice of the dress hugged her curves perfectly and accentuated her pregnancy's wider hips, making her look more mature and motherly sweet at the same time, the skirt flowed freely until her knees. Her hair was loose as always, waving down till her shoulders. She was carrying a small brown purse and the same big beige bag that she had had with her since I saw her two days ago… the one that had Marie's portable oxygen mask and miniature tank.

Fuck, I was an idiot.

"Hey." I greeted her.

"Hello." She said back.

"Do you need help with that?" I gestured to the big bag with my hand. "It must be heavy… I mean…"

"I'm fine thank you." She said.

"Please…" I said and reached for her bag, she let out a sigh and gave in, giving me the bag which_ was_ heavy… heavier than I thought.

"Thank you." She said quietly avoiding my gaze and focusing on Carlisle and Marie.

"Hello Carlisle." Bella smiled at them.

"Hi Bella." said a smiling Carlisle which a moment ago had been tickling Marie's tummy and leaned in to kiss Bella's cheek.

I wish I could do that too… but I didn't know how Bella and I stand… when we weren't talking about the kids or fighting she had been serious, evasive… what did she think of me now? Did she still hate me? Probably, but if she hated me she wouldn't be talking to me at all, right? Or she would be rude, mean… or probably not, because of the kids… aghh! I just wish I could read her mind, it was so frustrating. Four years ago I would have been able to just read her eyes… but now, they were empty… out of real emotion when she talked to me. She didn't feel anything for me anymore… I was sure of it.

Her eyes didn't shine when she see me anymore.

"Daddy." Marie called me bringing me out of my musings. She stretched her arms towards me, telling me to carry her. I held her with my other arm and Bella took Andrew from me and positioned him on her hip.

"Daddy, why are going to the doctor?" Marie said furrowing her pretty little eyebrows in worry.

"Because I wanna talk to him sweetie… about you, _I'm_ going to be your doctor now so I need to know how you are. I promise you it'll be all right, I'm here Ok?"

"You going to be my doctor?" She said in amazement.

"Of course, I wanna take care of my pretty little girl." She beamed and leaned in to hug me, wrapping her arms around my neck. For once I managed to keep my tears away.

"Come on, let's go." Dad said and opened the door of the cab to Bella, she got in and sat Andrew in the middle, dad got the front seat and I rounded the cab and sat in the back with Bella, Andrew and Marie between us.

The meeting with Dr. Lawrence had gone as expected. He was obviously surprised to see me and my dad there. Thankfully past the introductions and after Bella confirming I was the father he didn't ask questions about our situation or make any comments. He just said that now that he knew it was so obvious, as they looked a lot like me and they carried my name, there weren't many Cullens around Canada.

He explained me in detail Marie's condition. She had PAH, Pulmonary _Arterial_ Hypertension from group three, developed as a side effect of the Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia she suffered at birth, thankfully it was the least dangerous one, he showed me all her echocardiographies, her pressure measurements made with a Swan-Ganz catheter, her X-rays, blood tests… everything that had been done. The pressure on the artery wasn't too high, and as I suspected that was why he didn't gave her Flolan, but as Marie grew she might need it, depending on how her illness developed. Obviously the kids weren't with us while we talked with Dr. Lawrence, they had stayed in the playroom with a nurse waiting for us.

The meeting lasted about an hour and after explaining to Dr. Lawrence about Bella and the kids moving to Toronto and me taking Marie's case, he willingly handed me all of Marie's medical files and studies, -Bella already had original copies- and hoped us the best and I told him I'll keep in contact with him if anything else should arise. After 15 minutes of polite conversation and dad and him getting reacquainted we left the clinic.

We were walking from the clinic to a park a few blocks away, dad was a few feet in front of us with Marie and Andrew, I had never seen him like this, all carefree, playful, silly… he even made _me_ laugh at the jokes he told them. He was enjoying himself. I was happy to see him this relaxed, I was pretty sure the last time I saw him like this was before Andrew's death… after that he had become the serious man he had been for years. I was glad of the joy my children seemed to bring him.

My pretty little Angels.

Bella chuckled next to me.

"What?" I asked marveling at the sound.

"Carlisle… I've never seen him like this."

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking."

"So, at what time do you leave tomorrow?"

"At noon, I have appointments in the afternoon." I said with regret, "I wish I could stay… but I couldn't postpone anymore appointments, dad and I have a surgery on Tuesday, we needed to get prepared and I needed to clear my schedule."

"We?"

"Yeah, sorry… I didn't mention it… I got my surgeon's license a few months ago… I help dad now."

"What are you helping him with? What kind of surgery?" She said trying to make conversation.

…

"Well, you know dad is an oncologist… so there is this little boy, he has a tumor… cancer on one of his lungs, its malignant so we have to remove it now… before it spreads or it reaches its metastasis."

She gasped.

"Oh my god… how, how old is he."

"Six… his name is Jacob."

…

"Poor thing…" She said.

"Yeah, and he's a great kid… he's been so brave."

"But still… he's so small to deal with something like that."

"Well, some things we can't prevent them… like Marie's case."

"Oh Edward!… please tell me everything is fine with her… I didn't understand half of what you and Dr. Lawrence talked about." She cried.

"Hey…" I stopped walking and she did too, I stared directly at her eyes "Bella, you were right… it's not as severe… her pressure is not too high to make us worry, if we are careful with her and she gets the right treatment she won't have a real problem, as you said it just the occasional hyperventilating, coughing and overtiredness. Bella, I'll take care of her, I won't let anything happen to her… I promise." She stared back at me for a moment with watered eyes, then she just nodded and we continued our walk.

After spending an hour on the park, Carlisle left us. He said he wanted to meet with some old colleagues of him but I knew that was an excuse, he was giving me time alone with them. I sent him a thankful look.

Bella and I took the kids for lunch to a restaurant they liked. It was colorful and it had a children's gym. While Bella and I waited for the food at our table the kids were in the playing area with some other kids. Bella and I just sat in an awkward silence looking at them.

"Have you talked to Charlie?"

"Yes, I spoke to him this morning."

"Did you tell him… about me…"

…

"Yes."

"What did he said?"

"Well… after an hour of I-told-you-so's… he seemed relieved?"

"Relieved?"

…

"Yeah, he was worried about me… doing this alone."

"Well, you shouldn't do it. You shouldn't have tried it the first place." I admonished.

"And you think I wanted to?"

"Well you were the one who make the decision, you should have told me… If you had told me we wouldn't be in this situation. They would have known me since the beginning, they wouldn't be asking so many questions, things would have gone so much different."

"Please stop, I've heard enough of that already and I told you… I was going to tell you. I just needed time." She said harshly, her temper coming through.

"Don't be like that… you are not the only one who finds this situation difficult. You are not the one who lost the first 3 years of their children's lives."

"And do you think that makes it easier?"

"What's that supposed to mean."

…

"Being a _parent_ is difficult… but being a single parent in our situation is a whole other thing Edward... you weren't there, you don't know how hard it had been."

"Well, if you had told me instead of running away we wouldn't be in this situation and you wouldn't have to go through that alone." I said harshly and I regret it instantly.

"No, if you hadn't _cheated_ on me we wouldn't be in this situation at _all_." She spat and I flinched.

…

…

…

"Bella…" I whispered.

"Don't, I don't want to talk about it." She said looking down.

"Bella, we need to talk about it."

"No, we don't."

"Yes, we do."

"Well, I don't want to."

"You are still as stubborn" I muttered "But sooner rather than later we need to talk about what happened." I said firmly.

"I'll take later… and even then I don't want to… it's not like I want to hear specifics. What I saw and my imagination is more than enough." She said without emotion.

I groaned and covered my face with both of my hands.

"Bella… I'm-"

She stood abruptly and turned to face me.

"Look Edward… I'm trying to put a brave face here Ok? I know I did wrong and I know I should have told you, but my mistakes don't erase what you did… you still hurt me and I can't forget what happened… the only thing I have now is to pretend everything is Ok for them." She pointed towards the playing area "and try to have a civilized relationship with you, and the only way to do it, the only way it works for me is if we don't talk about what happened, it took me years to make peace with myself and to rebuild my self-esteem, I don't want to re-open that drawer again. I just want to focus on them… I need to be strong… for them, don't make it harder, even if you know now about them I'm still the one who has the big package here, I'm still the one they come to ask questions to, I'm the one who last night had to explained to them why you weren't home, I'm the one who eventually will become the bad guy because I'm the one they'll live with and I'm the one who will discipline them every day while you take them out and wash them with toys every few days, and that's fine, I'm not telling you not to do it… it's your right because you won't be there 24/7 with work and living in different places… I'm just asking you to please let me be… I don't want to re-open old wounds… it took me years to start to heal. I'm not there yet, I'm not ready to talk about it, and I don't think I'll ever want to… it won't change anything."

…

…

…

"Ok." I said quietly

She sat down and buried her face on her hands, her shoulders shaking slightly. I couldn't stand it anymore. I stood up and walked out of the restaurant and continued my walk into the alley next to it. I reclined myself on the wall and dropped myself to the ground next to a dumpster.

And guess what?

I started crying.

Fucking great.

_It was Saturday afternoon in the middle of July, the bright sun shone through the window on my studio/music room. I sat in front of my piano, wearing only my sweat pants playing a few songs of one of my favorite composers. I was so lost in the music that I didn't hear her come in._

_I felt her little warm hands on my shoulders but I kept my eyes closed, marveling on the feeling of her skin on mine. She slowly lowered her hands around my chest and placed her chin on my left shoulder. I took a deep breath taking in her scent, she turned her face and kissed a little trail from my chin to my temple and then back to my chin ending it with a soft peck on my lips._

"_Hey." I greeted her opening my eyes and smiling at her._

"_Hey there." She said happily and lifted to seat next to me straddling the bench, that's when I really saw her face and I laughed out loud._

"_Oh my god! What were you doing?"_

"_Painting." She said matter-of-factly ignoring me._

"_With you face?" I tease her._

"_Funny funny you… haven't your mother told you that for an artist __**if you didn't do a mess you didn't do your best**__?" she wiggled her eyebrows at me._

"_I might have heard of that actually." I conceded and leaned to kiss her. "But how would I be sure if I had never seen anything from such artist?"_

"_One day pretty boy, one day." she patted my cheek._

"_What do I have to do to earn at least a peek of the Bella's Gallery?"_

"_I'm sorry honey, but I just paint for the love of it, not for the show of it. I have never showed anything to anyone… not even my dad or Angela while growing up. I'm kinda of insecure about it." she said furrowing her eyebrows a little bit._

"_Why? I promise you even though it may be horrible it'll be perfect for me… everything you do is perfection to me. Like you." I kissed her nose._

…

"_Thank you." She said blushing, YES! I loved it, she blushed every time I complimented her which was quiet often._

"_So, what were you playing? I loved it."_

"_It's called "River flows in you" by Yiruma."_

"_You like that guy a lot, right?" I nodded "It's kinda making me jealous you know?"_

"_Well, good thing I'm not into Asian men then." I said and she laughed. "But, pretty girl… you shouldn't be jealous about anyone anyways… you know I only have eyes for you, right? I mean, you'll be my wife in a month. I'll get to keep you forever, and let me tell you I can't wait." I beamed._

"_You already have me for forever pretty boy, you don't need a piece paper for that… I'm yours."_

"_And I'm yours too… pretty girl no matter what, no matter what happens I promise you I'll only love you… you are my forever. Keep that in mind, you have my heart and you can do with it as it pleases you." Her eyes watered and a single tear fell from her cheek. I grabbed her face and kissed it away. "You have no idea how many times I've blessed Emmet for forgetting to pick me up that day and making me run into you." I smiled and she chuckled._

"_Yeah, we might need to send him a thank you note." She joked._

"_I wouldn't go as far, but you know I'll do anything you ask me to…" She kissed me back._

"_I know, you are that amazing… sometimes its hard to believe I got stuck with you… I'm so lucky."_

"_I'm the lucky one." I argued._

"_No, you are amazing, smart, gentle, generous, beautiful… and you make sure every day I feel pretty… sure of myself, happy… loved. How many people get to be with someone like that? To experience something like what we have? Edward, you bring out the best of me… I've never been this happy and I know this kind of love happens just once in a life time. Sometimes I'm afraid that someday it would be too much and something or someone would keep you away from me. I know we've know each other for no more than a year but I am so used to you that I wouldn't know how to survive without you, you are my rock, and as cheesy as it sounds… you are my other half. I love you more than anything and I promise you too that no matter what, I'll never let my love for you die… no matter if it kills me I'll always love you."_

…

_What had brought this on? I don't know but her words brought so much joy to me that I grabbed her from her waist and sat her in front of me, making her straddle me on the bench and kissed her hard, deep… pouring all my love for her in that kiss. After a few minutes I broke the kiss and she gasped for air, we both needed it actually, I took a hold of her face and brought her forehead to mine._

"_Bella, I've never believed in soul mates… until I found you. You have my heart too pretty girl, and I promise you… you'll always have it, it's yours and I'll never take it away."_

"_You have mine too, I trust you with it… the only thing I ask is for you to take care of it, please don't break it… I wouldn't last without it. You should know, you are a doctor." She tried to joke between her tears._

"_I promise you, forever." I said and she grabbed my hand from her face kissed it and entwined our fingers, bringing both of our hands between us over her stomach._

* * *

><p>After composing myself I came back inside the restaurant, Bella wasn't at the table anymore, she was at the playing area with them. I sat at the table and watched in the distance.<p>

What did I do? I broke her, of course she didn't want to talk about it, and of course she was mad at me. I broke every promise that I made to her, I promised to take care of her, to be there for her, to take care of her heart. I broke every promise but one, she'll always be my forever, I'll never stop loving her no matter what, no matter if she hurt me too or if she left me or if she never spoke to me again.

She was my life.

She was my forever.

I broke her. If she even went through an inch of the pain I went through I wouldn't blame her for hating me, which I think was the case. I hurt her first, will she ever forgive me? I shouldn't have talked to her like that, she was right… she had the hardest part in this. I didn't even ask her how did it go last night, what the kids had told her, or what had they asked… I just thought of what impact it had had in me… I was so selfish, blaming her for stuff I shouldn't blame her for… It was my fault we were in this mess, if I hadn't cheated on her she wouldn't have left, she would have surprised me on our honeymoon with the best gift I'll ever had. I fucked everything.

And still I had been bossing her around I didn't think of how things changed for her… I didn't think of how things were going to change for them now too, fuck! I was forcing her to move! I was changing the life they had been settled on for years, their routine… Everything she had achieved… on her own, and I hadn't even acknowledge that to her out loud, I didn't tell her she had been doing great, that I just wanted to help her because I wanted to, because it was my responsibility… no because she was doing it wrong or because she couldn't, she clearly could. On the contrary she had done great… but it was my time to step in. To be their dad, that was what I was trying to do.

When the food arrived I went for them. We sat at the booth and Bella and I didn't talk and avoided our gazes through the whole meal, the only conversation was between the kids and sometimes I'll pip in when they asked me a question. After lunch we went to a walk along the canal, I didn't want Marie to exert herself so I carried her the whole way.

She didn't complain.

When the sun began to settle down we headed back to the hotel, but I insisted on accompanying them to their house. I was leaving tomorrow morning and I wanted to take advantage of every single minute with them, it was going to be a hard week. Once at their place, Bella send the kids upstairs. She told them she needed to talk to daddy.

"So," She began "Are you coming next week?"

I looked at her dumbfounded.

"Of course, I promised them they'll see me next week."

"Ok, when?"

"I'll come Saturday morning and leave Sunday night."

She nodded.

"Bella… I wanted to apologize… for earlier, I didn't mean to talk to you like that."

"No, I'm sorry too… I shouldn't have talked to you like that either."

…

…

"I just wanted to say… that you've been doing a great job… I didn't mean to make it sound that you shouldn't do it alone because you couldn't… or because you were doing it wrong… on the contrary… it's just that… I want to be there too… I want to help you because I want to, because I… because I need it. I want to be part of their lives and it's my responsibility… I'm their dad."

"I know… I didn't think otherwise… I understand. I just got overwhelmed by everything."

"I'm sorry I didn't ask before… but, how did it go? Last night?"

…

"Well, as expected… I told them the same thing you told Andrew."

"You heard that?"

"A little bit, before Carlisle called me… for a word with me." I grimaced

"I noticed. How did that go?"

"Fine. He just… he just gave me some advice… and thanked me."

I looked at her confusedly, and she shrugged as if it was nothing.

"Ok, so… I'll send you everything they send me from the Real State Agency… no pressure, I want them in Toronto a soon as possible of course but take the time you need… to sort things out. I know it's a lot of changes for all of you."

She lifted her head and stared at me for a moment.

"Thank you." She said softly.

…

…

"Well, I think I'll better go. It's getting late."

"Ok, let me call them so you can say goodbye to them."

* * *

><p>Leaving was awful, and the hardest thing I've done in my life. They cried, bawled for me not to go and of course I cried too. After the longest hug that to me felt like two seconds they finally let me go. I promised them they'll see me next weekend, and that I wouldn't be gone that long again. I told them time after time that I loved them, but that I had to leave because I had to work. I cried the whole way to the hotel, not caring about the looks from the cab driver. I arrived to my hotel room and sent dad a text that I'll met him at the lobby tomorrow at 8 am for heading back home, which I wasn't sure where it was to me anymore.<p>

Friday and Saturday were a blur. I avoided everyone's call –except my dad's- fearing I'll crumple and tell everything over the phone. I missed them so much. How can two little people you have only know for a few days have such a hold of you? It was beyond me. Every night I called them as I had promised, and they'll answer me cheerfully, we'll talk for an hour and I'll end up crying after hanging up.

Then, the day feared the most arrived.

Sunday.

I was up before the alarm rang, I went for an early run to keep my mind of thing for a while, I was back at nine, took a quick shower, shaved and dressed myself with a pair of jeans and a white V-neck shirt. I took a look at myself in front of the full-length mirror in my room.

Well, I definitely looked worn out but at least I didn't look like a walking dead anymore. After fiddling with my hair I took a deep breath and headed downstairs, grabbed my car keys and headed out of the house.

By 10:30 am I was pulling my car on the driveway of my parent's house. Everyone was already there.

Shit.

I remained seated after turning off the car and took a moment to think… to gain some strength. I couldn't look weak, I was a dad now. I needed to be my old self. After giving myself a pep talk I pulled out my phone from my jean's pocket and stared at the picture in my screensaver. That was everything I needed to get my wits together. My son, my daughter… her.

I got out of my car, and slowly made my way into the house. When I opened the door I was surprised by the silence. I couldn't even hear Emmet's laugh did something happened? But then I remembered, they were waiting for me. They knew something was up. Shit here we go.

I tentatively made my way to the living room, where I could hear faint voices.

"Carlisle, what's going on? Tell me honey this is killing me. Is he really coming?" Mom said worriedly.

"Everything is fine Esme, I promise… nothing happened. Edward just has some news for us."

"What's taking him so long? Fuck, by this rate his niece is going to beat him here." Said an exasperated Alice.

"Shhh, its fine… I'm sure everything is fine. Don's stress yourself honey." Jasper soothed her.

"What kind of news Carlisle?" asked Rosalie. "Good? Bad? They are bad aren't they?"

"No, they are not… they are actually good news, _shocking_… but _good_ news."

"What the fuck happened in Ottawa? Did he join a fucking spiritual cult or something?" Emmet asked.

"Language." Carlisle warned him.

I heard someone huff.

…

…

I took a long deep breath and reached the threshold, nobody noticed me so I cleared my throat. Everyone turned to face me at the same time. Mom rushed to me.

"Edward! Oh my god you are fine!" I rolled my eyes at her and chuckled.

"Jeez mom, relax you are going to get yourself some wrinkles." I joked and dad chuckled.

Everyone went quiet, she stared at me wide eyed. I could tell everyone was eyeing me warily.

What was wrong with them?

Oh, I laughed. Shit this was going to be difficult.

…

…

"So… what is the big news?" Rosalie asked breaking the silence.

Dad and I stared at each other briefly.

"Can everyone take a seat please?" Dad suggested.

Yeah, that was probably a good idea.

"Ed, what's going on?" Emmet said after everyone sat down, I felt like a circus act with everyone focusing on me. My hands were sweating, my mind a jumble of thoughts. How was I going to do this?

I took another deep breath and sat down too next to mom and took her hand.

"Before everyone starts… _commenting_… or give opinions as I know you would I want you to please let me finish first." I met everyone's eyes and they nodded in understanding.

…

…

…

I turned to my father, asking for help and he gave me an encouraging nod.

Fuck, here we go.

…

…

"I ran into Bella." I said in one breath.

Everyone stopped breathing, time stood still. After the initial shock, everyone started talking at the same time as I thought they would. I rolled my eyes at them and motioned them to be quiet with my hands.

"Please, shut up! Fuck! Nothing happened! I'm here don't you see?"

JEEZ!

"Edward honey… Oh my god, how did it go? Are you ok?" Mom cried.

Shit, she and Alice were already crying.

"Mom, please… that is not the… _news_."

"What?" Alice questioned and I turned to her.

…

"That's not it." At least the most shocking part I thought to myself.

"Then what is it?" Alice asked.

…

…

…

"Alice…" I said in a soft voice "you remember what you told me?..." Fuck I could feel the tears start gathering in my eyes. "About… about who you saw Bella with?"

"Ye-e-s, I saw her with a little girl."

…

…

I looked at her intently, trying to communicate with her with my eyes as we used to do.

…

…

"I saw… I saw Bella…" Shit, her name burned in my throat "with that little girl too, but… I looked at her closer… she… she is not two years old as you assumed." She stared at me dumbfounded for a second before her eyes went wide as saucers, at the same time I heard a gasp coming from my mother's mouth, I felt everyone stiffen in the room and I continued.

"She…" I cleared my throat again and by now I could feel the tears coming down my cheeks "She is three and a half years old… her… her name is Marie Esme…" I choked and heard my mom cry next to me, I couldn't focus on her now or I would crumble too… so I continued to stare at Alice her hand had flown to her mouth and her eyes were watering.

"and…" I tried but I couldn't go on.

"And what?" Jasper encouraged.

"She has a twin… his name is Andrew."

…

…

…

"THAT BITCH!" Rosalie screeched.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me please! I just had to stop there or it would become a to loooong chapter. I can't wait to hear what you guys think and to guess who is going to be Team Bella or Team Edward on this! *inserts evil grin*<strong>

**Please, please, please! Leave me a review! *makes Andrew's pout***

**see you soon!**

**Saludos!**

**Tpec**


	11. Chapter 11: Everybody Hurts pt 2

**Hello! I'm sorry, I know it took me more than a week to update but RL got in the way... I had this big project at university and it totally worn me out, that's excuse number one... excuse number two: sometimes, while reading my reviews I click on my readers profiles to know what they read or like etc... so I can have an idea of my audience and I came across with this amazing fic called Bella Hale byJulesSC, I've never read something like it! I never thought I'll enjoy a fic about a six years old Bella and Vamp Edward so much! So the story got me hooked and I couldn't stop reading until the last chapter.**

**I also wanted to mention something, I know there are a lot of things unclear, i.e. Why hasn't anyone talked to Tanya? What happened that night? Did Emmet and Jasper just left Edward in the street? What happened after Bella left? I've left this things unclear in purpose and the answers will came in time, be patient, I write every word for a reason. Don't worry!**

**I also wanted to say that I writing two outtakes for this story both in BPOV, one about the delivery, so you can understand her a little bit more and another one about the wedding day fiasco. There won't be a part of the story because I don't like it when authors change POV. But I think these outtakes are necesary and I'll post them in the future.**

**Again thank you very much to my awesome beta Cattinson! you are amazing!**

**All characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11. Everybody Hurts pt. 2<p>

"**Everybody Hurts" – Avril Lavingne**

Don't know, don't know if I can do this on my own  
>Why do you have to leave me?<br>It seems, I'm losing something deep inside of me  
>Hold on, on to me<p>

Now I see  
>Now I see<p>

Everybody hurts some days  
>It's ok to be afraid<br>Everybody hurts  
>Everybody screams<br>Everybody feels this way  
>And it's ok<br>La di da di da  
>It's ok<p>

It feels like nothing really matters anymore  
>When you're gone<br>I can't breathe  
>And I know you never meant to make me feel this way<br>This can't be happening

"_THAT BITCH!" Rosalie screeched. _

All hell broke loose in the living room.

"Rose!" I yelled.

"Oh my god how could she?" Rose continued in disbelieve.

"Oh Edward! Oh my god!" Mom cried, Alice was still in shock, she wasn't uttering a word... which was odd. Jasper wasn't any better but I could see the surprise in his face.

"What's going on?" Emmet asked clueless trying to calm a fuming Rosalie by patting her back.

"Please Edward, tell me we misunderstood… tell me she didn't actually do that?" Rosalie continued anger deep within her voice.

"But… how did this happened? Did you know?" Mom asked between sobs.

Her face was glowing.

Fuck.

"Can everybody please calm down? Dad?" I asked dad for help while my family still threw questions at me.

Carlisle stood from the couch and motioned everybody to shut up but my family being my family didn't listen of course. I groaned while pulling at my hair.

"Shit man, what did you do when you saw her? Ho-" Jasper asked.

"How could she? Is she insane?" Rosalie continued to spit things into the air she stood up abruptly and started pacing.

"Who is insane? What the hell?" Emmet continued and I rolled my eyes.

Is he serious?

"Oh my god! I have…? Am I a…?" Mom couldn't end her sentences, she was too overwhelmed, but I could see something glitter in her eyes… hope?

"Dude… is this for real?" Jasper asked still incredulous.

"Fuck! Can everybody calm down? You promised you wouldn't talk until I was finished!" I yelled at no one in frustration.

"Why would Bella call her son Andrew?" Emmet suddenly asked and everyone became quiet.

…

…

Was he really this dense?

I think it had something to do with all the boxing he did in high school, yeah… that must be it because as far as I was concerned mom never dropped him. We stared at him for a whole minute with dumfounded looks until it finally downed on him, his eyes going wide.

…

…

…

"HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE A DAD!" He screamed in surprise pointing in my direction with one finger and I couldn't help myself but chuckle without humor at this ridiculous situation.

Everybody turned to me then, waiting for me to acknowledge it, to say the words out loud. I haven't really said it.

…

…

"Yes… I'm a dad." I said and I finally broke, rivers fell from my eyes but at the same time a wide smile spread over my face. What else could I do or say? I was happy, for the first time in years I could smile a genuinely smile. Even if the pain was still present, -but that wasn't news- at least I could smile now, I had a reason to. When mom saw me she wrapped her arms around me.

"OH MY GOD! I'm a grandma!" Mom cried in a mixture of joy and pain.

"Yes, you are." I whisper cried hugging her back, and then I let her go and turned to Alice who had still to say something.

"Alice?" She was looking down, her face a mixture of confusion, pain, regret, sadness, hope… like she couldn't decide on something. She didn't know how or what to feel or what to think. Then Jasper broke the silence.

"Edward… what does this mean? I mean… did she… did she intended for you… you know?... to never know?" He stuttered in disbelieve, he knew Bella and it was hard for him to believe she would do something like that.

"I could kill her right know. That selfish lit-" Rosalie spat before I could say something and I silenced her with a glare.

"Rose!" I chastised and then turned to Jasper "No, of course not… she didn't want to keep them from me forever." I argued back but Rosalie wouldn't have it, and she spoke again.

"Please Edward, be realistic… don't defend her, just because you have your ass whipped it doesn't mean tha-"

"They have my fucking name Rose! They _are_ _Cullens_, stop bitching for once and listen first!" I said scowling at her and with that she finally shut her fucking mouth, staring at me wide eyed for a second before composing herself and scowling back at me.

…

"They do?" Alice asked surprised in a small voice, finally saying something and I turned to her, her eyes were red with unshed tears.

"Marie Esme and Andrew Charles Cullen" I confirmed.

"But… why didn't she say anything?" She whimpered. At this I just looked down fighting the wave of pain that threatened to drown me and everyone became quiet sensing my distress.

"She… she said… she said tha-that she needed time… to face me. That she wasn't ready." I said in a small voice. Everyone remained quiet, even Rosalie down casted her eyes.

"Edward…" Jasper continued "you realize she still shouldn't have done that… right?"

"Of course… but, even if I don't agree with what she did… I _understand_ why she did it… I mean, I…" I stopped mid sentence and pulled at my hair again in frustration with both hands, looking down between my feet. I couldn't bring myself to say the words, every time I thought of what I did I could only think of what I lost because of my stupidity and that hurt like a motherfucker "what I mean is that I understand that she needed time, what I did… she couldn't just come back… she needed to heal… Do I make sense? I don't absolve her… but I understand it… or I'm trying to."

…

Jasper looked at me in the eye for a few seconds and then he nodded once. I dried my tears with the back of my hands and cleared my throat, trying to sound sure of myself… like my old self, I needed to be my old self for them to protect them, to protect them from pain and sorrow, they deserved better… My kids, they deserve only happiness and I was determined to make that happen.

"So, that's why I wanted you to listen to me first… Bella and I… we are in a very delicate situation, so I beg you to not make this any harder on us." I said sending a pointed look towards Rosalie who went to sit by Emmet "We still need to figure out a lot of things and now…" I took a deep breath and let it out slowly "I'm asking you for your help… I know I haven't been the best… son, brother or friend in years… and I probably don't deserve this but now I beg you… I'm asking you for your help. Please, don't judge… I still don't even know how everything happened and Bella and I still have to clear a bunch of things and we are not in the best terms… we can hardly have a conversation without turning it into a quarrel after 2 minutes, but we are willing to try for them. I just ask you to be on your best behavior… for them. They are innocents in this whole mess and I don't want them to stress over family issues. Please, if not for me think of them… they are the most important thing in my life now, you have no idea how wonderful they are… they own me completely and I don't wanna loose them. They are everything I have and they are so taken to Bella that it wouldn't end up well if they sense the… _tension _in our family… after all it's also theirs, you are also their family… you are all their uncles and aunts… and pops and nana in your case." I said looking at my parents, mom was clutching my father's hand for dear life to contain what I was sure now was pure joy.

"Of course Edward… you don't have to ask. We are here for you, son." Carlisle spoke for all of them. I nodded and turned to Alice, she was eyeing me, trying to make sense of my words.

…

…

"Edward…" She started after a too long minute "I know I treated you awful in the past, I know I judged you and blamed you for what you did… which I still think was your fault, but… I know I should have supported you better, after the whole chaos passed, I saw the pain you went through, I know how much you regretted what happen I know you didn't mean to do it, and still I walked away, I should have been your sister, be there for you which I wasn't…I won't make the same mistake, if you ask me to be on your side… I will. I'll support any decision you make and I'll try to help you this time. Bella shouldn't have done that… but, I guess I kind of get it too. I guess… what I'm trying to say is that, I can't help to feel a little… _anger_ towards her because I saw what you went through…. and as a sister it killed me and to know all this time she hide something like this from you it's horrible, what she did was wrong but, as Bella's… _friend _I know her, I understand her way of thinking… her way of dealing with things, how she acts. I _know_ her, and I can only guess how much pain she must have gone through to do something like that. " I grimaced, I had thought the same thing "So I get it too, she must have had her reasons so I won't choose sides, I'll be here for you and I won't judge her. Both of you made mistakes, and it's up to you to fix this mess, not us."

"Thank you." I choked and she gave me a small smile. Alice's words meant everything to me our relationship had been so damaged because of what I did to her best friend and hearing her say that brought me hope. If Alice could see what I meant, what I tried to explain them, it brought me hope that in the end things would turn right. Some way or another. Andrew left a big hole in me, he was my _twin _brother, we did everything together and told us anything, we were best friends, after he passed away even though no one would ever replace him, Alice took his role as my confident. When she turned against me after Bella walked out the door, even if I was too out of my mind to care about anything but _her_, Alice turning against me was what finally set me in my misery. So hearing her say that she supported me and my wishes of no one making this anymore difficult lifted an enormous weight that I didn't know I was carrying on my shoulders.

So, I reach out and hugged her. I couldn't remember the last time I did that. I think it was when I woke up in the hospital and she threw herself crying at me. Glad that I was alive.

I kissed her spiky hair and pulled away, lightly rubbing her belly. It was the first time I did that and she chuckled lightly. She placed her hand over mine over her belly.

"This is Camille" She said and I laughed, god it felt good to laugh "and she can't wait to meet her broody uncle." She teased and I rolled my eyes at her but still smiled a wide smile to her and then turned to the rest of my family who had witnessed our little heart to heart conversation. They were all smiling at us, well Rosalie wasn't but at least she didn't look like Godzilla anymore. It was her who spoke next.

"I'm sorry…" Now that caught my attention, she saw my expression and rolled her eyes and huffed "I'm serious I guess I got overwhelmed but you have to understand Edward… I… I've been trying to have kids with Emmet for years…" Emmet took her hand and squeezed it "and to know someone kept their children from their own father on purpose… it just doesn't sit well with me. I stand by what I said I still wanna rip her eyes off for doing what she did… but hearing what Alice said… I can't help but agree with her on _some_ things. It's harder to accept what she did after what we saw you go through even though you deserved her leaving you but it was still hard, you fucked up really bad and I understand her necessity of staying away but in my book nothing justifies what she did. She kept your children from you, that's not right… but I agree on what you said, the kids come first so I won't say anything anymore. I don't promise to be nice to her but I won't lash out at her either. For the kids sake and because I understand this is between you and her." She said with a tone of finality and I let out a sigh of relief. Then I turned to Jasper and Emmet, Jasper was serious a contemplative look on his face and Emmet… well, he was just being Emmet, grinning like an idiot.

"I reserve my opinion in the matter, Alice is right this is between you and her… So I'll just be your friend and support any decision you make." Jasper said firmly then mom spoke.

"I'm just happy that you are happy, I don't care about the rest." I kissed her cheek.

"So, when are we meeting the little Edwardians?" Emmet asked and I laughed at his silliness. The tension in the room lifted.

"Not yet, I'm afraid." I answered.

"What? Why? I want to meet my grandsons!" Mom demanded and I took her hand and squeezed it, her eyes softened.

"I'm sorry mom, but I don't want to overwhelm them. There are a lot of changes coming for them. I don't want to stress them over meeting a bunch of strangers too."

"But we are not strangers, we are their family." She pouted and I immediately thought of Andrew and chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

"Andrew… he got the Platt's pout too." I informed her and her eyes brightened as a wide smile spread over her face.

"Really?" She squealed and I laughed again "Oh my god! What else, tell me more about them!" She demanded again.

"Well… Marie is pretty shy" I turned to look at dad remembering when he met them "but she is pretty intuitive and smart." I smiled.

"And according to Bella she got Edward's brains." Dad added teasingly but I smiled proudly.

"Yeah, she is one pretty little Einstein. As for Andrew… god he is going to be trouble, but he is so funny and talkative, and mischievous… his personality is so much like Andrew's but he is a total momma's boy, you should see him interact with Bella, and he is kind of manipulative too… like you sis" I bumped my shoulder with Alice and she giggled "he'll just have to pout at Bella and she'll give in like that." I said snapping my fingers. Everyone was listening to me with rapt attention, smiling and awing at everything I told them, mom was crying happy tears at my enthusiasm and happiness and Alice listened in wonder, even Rosalie smiled through the whole thing.

"They couldn't be more different though" I continued "For instance Marie likes mashed potatoes while Andrew prefers French fries. Also Bella told them about me too, a lot. So Marie wants to learn to play the piano and Andrew wants to play the guitar, like me." I said proudly "Also he wants to become a doctor like me and _pops_" I said looking at dad who laughed remembering Andrew's logic at just making him a doctor without going to school first, but I could see his reasoning though… it was dad's _hospital _after all, he could do anything he wanted "while Marie wants to be a princess" I chuckled "she wants to have her own castle on her own island with a big tower like Rapunzel's but she wants to be a vet too."

"Oh my god!" Alice squealed, yeah… she was coming around "And how are they like… who do they look like? You or Bella?" Alice asked then with curious happy eyes.

"Well, they have my hair color." I said

"Poor kids." Emmet piped in but I ignored him.

"But they look like you, especially Marie." I told mom and I swear her face went brighter than the sun "which I guess it means they look like me. They both have your eye color but with Bella's shape. Andrew is just like me when I was his age."

"Really?" She asked in wonder.

"Yep." I said popping the p.

"Oh, please Edward! I wanna meet them, don't be a bad brother!" Alice whined and pouted.

Shit, I hated that pout.

"I'm sorry Alice… just give me a few weeks, when Bella comes to see the houses."

"What?" Rosalie asked surprised "She is moving here?" I guess she didn't expect that.

"Yeah, she agreed to move back. She works from home anyways so it won't be a problem with her work and well… it makes more sense. She was in Ottawa just because me." I grimaced.

"But, she agreed that easily?" Rosalie persisted.

"Well…" Shit, how was I going to tell them about Marie's condition?

"What? What aren't you telling us?" Alice asked me to continue and I turned to dad for help.

"Well… here is the thing" He started "There was… a complication during Bella's pregnancy…" everybody stiffened "they were born premature… barely seven months into the pregnancy when Bella's placenta detached." I heard mom gasp and Alice whimpered while her hands flew instinctively to her belly, Jasper who was on the armchair next to her wrapped her arm around her shoulders in assurance.

"What happened then?" Jasper asked and I spoke.

"Andrew was fine, he just spend a few days in the incubator but… but Marie… she had some problems… she had Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia because her lungs weren't… developed completely yet and she spend a few weeks with oxygen therapy, the doctor told Bella that she would be fine, that she didn't need to worry and it did go fine, but a few months later… she developed a Pulmonary Hypertension."

"What? What the fuck is that? And she didn't call you?" Rosalie screeched but I threw her a glare making her remember her promise, after apologizing I continued.

"It's not as… _bad_ as it sounds, there is no high risk… for now, I already talked to her doctor and I'm taking her case. I'm taking care of her, that's the main reason why Bella agreed to coming back, that and to make things easier. Also, I think she feels kind of guilty… because she kept them from me all this time… she really didn't intend to keep them from me forever."

"But… will Marie be alright?" Mom asked.

"With the adequate treatment and nutrition, she must be. The pressure is not too high, so we expect her to have a normal life, obviously with a few limits but nothing radical." I appeased her.

"Wow, this changes things a lot." Jasper said.

"Yes, that's the main reason why I need your support, I don't want to stress Marie, she is such a sweetheart and the gentlest soul… she worries about everything and everyone and she's very perceptive… no joking she is really smart and she could easily figure out if anything is going wrong between us."

"We already told you Edward, don't worry… we won't make it harder on you or Bella, _both_ of you have our support." Dad said and I gave him a grateful look.

"Thank you." I said.

After that we moved to the dining room for brunch and Mrs. Cope started to bring the food to the table. Of course the only conversation through the whole thing was about my pretty little angels. Actually, now that I think of, I was the only one who talked, my family just kept asking things and I was more than glad to oblige. I described every inch of them, every stray of hair and every toe. At some point, I brought out my phone and showed them the picture of them and Bella on the swing, the face of my mother was something I would gladly pay millions just to see it again. I could tell what caught her attention more… Andrew… and I knew who she was thinking of the moment she saw him.

"Oh my god Edward, they are so beautiful… it's such a lovely picture." Mom cried happily. But even though she was ecstatic of being a grandma and to the prospective of meeting them soon and wash them in toys and sweets, I could see the pain; her pain for me and for what she knew was ahead of me.

"Let me see! Let me see!" Alice demanded and snatched –after a small quarrel between them- the phone from mom, when she finally saw the picture she gasped and started to squeal and cry at the same time. How was that even possible? Hormones… I guess.

"Awww Edward! They are soo cute! And they _do_ look like you!" Alice beamed at me and I smiled proudly at them.

"Wow Eddie boy! They look like ginger smurfs!" Emmet boomed peering over Alice's shoulder.

"Hey! I made those!" I berated him playfully and he laughed.

"Yeah I can tell, you literally crapped them! Andrew even has your weird excuse as a hair!" He laughed and I couldn't help but join him.

"Yeah, shit… poor kid, but still… they are perfect." I smiled proudly lifting my chin.

My kids are perfect.

It went like this the rest of the day and before I knew it, it was 8 pm already. I berated myself for forgetting about the hour and excused myself for a minute and went up to my old room. Once there I took my phone out of my pocket, and hoped they weren't asleep already. Bella answered the phone after the first ring.

"Hello?" She answered a little agitated and I frowned.

"Hi, it's me. Edward."

"Good god" she said in relieve "I thought you had forgot… they were waiting, Marie was forcing herself to stay awake." She said.

"I'm sorry I'm at my parent's house… I lost track of time. Why didn't you call if Marie was waiting for me?" I asked

"Uhm… I don't know, I didn't want to… intrude? I didn't know if you were busy."

…

"Bella, it's ok… if they want to talk to me they can call at anytime. Don't worry about that."

"Uhm… ok, thanks… uhm so, you are at you parents?"

"Yes."

"You told them." She guessed and I nodded before remembering she couldn't see me.

"Yes, yes I did."

"How did it go?" She asked worriedly. "Should I expect Rosalie with an electric saw anytime soon?" She tried to joke but I could still hear the uncertainty in her voice and I laughed without humor.

"Don't worry about her… it went fine, better than expected actually, but of course they were surprised."

"Yeah, I suppose…"

…

…

…

"So, you wanna say good night to them?" She asked after an awkward silence. God, we used to be so carefree, it had always been so easy between us, we were made for each other, I still believe that we are, and to think we had ended like this… distant, careful, insecure, conversations that lasted no more that 2 minutes… how did we end up like this?

Oh yeah…

I fucked up.

"Yeah, yes… please." I said awkwardly.

"I'll go and get them."

"Ok… ehm, Bella?"

"Yes?"

"What were you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when you answered you sounded… agitated?" God, was it weird I was asking that?

"Oh, I was chasing Andrew." She said exasperated. Now that caught my attention.

"What did he do now?" I asked chuckling lightly.

"He doesn't wanna bathe… He says a pirate doesn't take baths." I could literally imagine her rolling her eyes, with one hand on her hip and shaking her head. "Silly kid." She laughed lightly and a tear fell from my eye at the sound. I cleared it with my left hand.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked hopefully.

"Good luck" She said and heard her talk to Marie on the background.

"_Honey, guess who it is?" _Bella asked in a happy mommy's voice

"_Daddy?"_ She asked excitedly and I felt more tears fall on my cheeks.

My pretty little girl, she was waiting for me.

"Daddy?" Marie answered the phone.

"Hey princess? How is my pretty little girl doing?"

"Hi daddy! I'm fine! Mommy took us to the park today!" She cheered and I marveled at the sound of her voice. I missed her.

"She did? And did you enjoy it?"

"Yes! I love the park, I took Rapunzel with me and mommy got me _two_ ice creams!" she told me happily.

"Really? Wow, that's pretty amazing sweetie, I didn't get any today."

"You didn't?" She asked in concern.

"Nope" I said popping the p "but it's Ok, nana made me chocolate chip pancakes." I said easing her worries. She was so selfless.

"Mommy know how to do those, I love them lots."

"I know honey. They are great right?"

"Yes, mommy makes the best chocolate chip pancakes in the world." She said happily.

I couldn't agree more.

_I stepped out of our room, ready to go to the clinic when the most delicious smell assaulted me, and of course me being me… I followed it. Just as I stepped into the kitchen, I found my pretty girl serving a pile of pancakes that rivaled the CN Tower on the kitchen island in front of me. She looked up sensing me and threw what had to be the sweetest most beautiful smile on earth to me. Sometimes I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her in my life, I didn't deserve her… she was so perfect._

"_Hey pretty boy, breakfast is ready." She beamed at me._

"_I can tell, so… am I supposed to eat all these by myself?" I asked as I sat on a barstool eyeing the great pile of pancakes._

"_Yup, you are too skinny pretty boy." She admonished._

"_Well, that's kind of your fault with all the extra activities you have me up to every night." I winked and she blushed._

_Yes! I loved the fucking blush._

"_So now it's __**my**__ fault?"She asked rounding the island and coming to stand in front of me, my hands found her waist pulling her closer and went down to the back pockets of her pajama shorts palming her ass, her arms wrapping around my neck "what about your wandering hands at 2 in the morning?" she asked cocking a brow at me, I squeezed her ass with said hands making her giggle._

"_See? It's your fault. You are so irresistible."_

_She snorted and pulled from me, turned around and head to the coffee maker. I pouted at the sudden cold._

"_So, what is this?" I asked skeptical really looking at the pancakes for the first time "Chickenpox pancakes?" I asked playfully and she laughed at my lame joke._

"_You are so silly pretty boy, sometimes I wonder if they didn't mess with the IQ results."_

"_Hardy-har" I threw her a playful glare._

"_Just eat honey, you are not going to regret it." She winked._

_How right she was._

"Daddy? Are you there?" Marie's voice brought me back from my memories and I focused on the present.

"Yes honey, sorry… I'm here. What were you saying?"

"I was asking when you coming."

"Next weekend sweetie, I have to work all week, I'll be with you next Saturday." I smiled to myself, I couldn't wait.

"How many days is that?"

"Five."

"I can count that!" I laughed wholeheartedly.

"Yes you can, you are so smart princess." I praised her.

Then I heard Bella in the background.

"_Marie, its late honey… you need to rest, tell good night to daddy, Andrew wants to talk to him too."_

"Daddy, mommy says I have to go to sleep now… but I don't want to, I wanna talk with you."

A knot formed in my throat.

"Mommy is right honey, you need to sleep. I promise I'll call earlier tomorrow Ok?"

…

…

"Ok, I love you daddy… I miss you."

"I love you too beautiful, always."

"Promise?"

"I swear princess."

"Ok, love you." She whimpered and I took a deep breath.

"Love you more angel. Sweet dreams."

"G'night daddy."

The line went silent for a second and then I heard Andrew's high pitched voice.

"Dad! Guess what?" I chuckled.

"Hi kiddo, what's up?"

"I got a new scar today!"

"What?" I asked bemused, was there something wrong with him?

"YES! At the park, I fell from the slide."

"A slide? Are you alright?" I asked worriedly. How the hell did he fell from the slide?

"Aye!"

"What?" I asked chuckling.

"I'm a'right."

"How did you fell?"

"Dunno."

"Ok?" I laughed. "Where did you get your scar?"

"On my hand!" He cheered.

God, I needed to ask Bella how long Andrew's obsessions lasted… by this rate he was going to look like Freddy Krueger by the end of the month.

"Andrew, you need to be careful honey… you could get a serious injury."

"Sorry daddy."

"Mommy told me you didn't want to bathe, is that true?"

"Pirates don't bathe!" He stated happily.

"Yes but, don't you wanna be a Doctor when you grow up?"

"Yes, I wanna work with you and pops."

"Well, then here is your first lesson, are you ready?" I said in playful seriousness.

"Yes!" He answered brightly.

"Doctors are _always_ clean… they need to be clean so the wont pass any diseases or viruses to their patients."

…

…

…

"They do?" He asked in a small voice.

"Yes, so it's ok if you wanna play that you are a Pirate, but in real life you can't behave like one. You need to be careful while playing in the park and you need to bathe when mommy says so."

…

…

"Ok, only'f you say so."

"Thanks for understanding kiddo. See? You are a smart kid, I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course, you are an amazing kid Andrew… and I love you."

"I love you too daddy… I wish you were here."

The fucking knot formed again.

"I wish I was there too kiddo, I miss you and your sister so much."

"We going to be together soon?"

…

…

"I hope so kiddo, nothing could make me happier."

I heard Bella on the background.

"_Sweetie, say goodbye to daddy… it's late, you can talk to him tomorrow."_

"Mommy says it's late, but I'm no tired."

"You should listen to mommy, it is getting late and you still need to shower and get in your pjs, right?"

"Yes, I love you daddy… when are we going to see you again?"

"In five days kiddo."

"How long is that?"

"Open up your palm… look at all your fingers?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's five fingers… that's how long you'll have to wait."

"It's not long."

"No it isn't, and I promise I'll call every night and you'll see the time will fly, before you know it I'll be with you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Ok, love you daddy."

"Love you more kiddo. Remember to listen to mommy"

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye baby."

I hung up and stared at the wallpaper of my phone.

My lost family.

A drop landed on the screen and I cleared it with my thumb, then a swift movement caught my eye and I turned to see Alice reclined on the threshold. God only knows how long have she been there but judging by her face long enough. She came and sat next to me on my bed and hugged me. I hid my face on her shoulder and hugged her back and the cries, emotions, feelings and everything that I've been holding up since when I bumped into her in the park came out with such a force that I ended up sobbing everything out. Alice patted my back and soothed me while I bared my soul to her. I told her everything, how I felt, how much I loved them… since the moment I saw their beautiful green eyes, how I loved them in that instant, how I missed them, how they had woken me, how the changed me, the confusion, the frustration, how much I wanted to hate her but no matter how much I tried I couldn't, that I still loved her like the first day, that no matter what she did I'll keep that only promise to her. I'll love her forever she was my everything, my forever.

I told her my fears and worries, how I feared of not being good enough for them, to fuck up again. I feared not being the father they deserved and I confessed that I had no clue on how to proceed with my situation with Bella, how it pained me to see how much she had changed, how much _we_ had changed. But above all, I told her how I still didn't know how to live without her, I needed to because of them and I was going to find a way, I had to but I had no clue on how to, I needed her.

"Shh… Edward, it's Ok."

"No is not Alice, I seriously don't know how to do this, and honestly… I'm scared, what if I fuck up again?" I sobbed

Fuck! I was sick of crying!

"No you won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you are afraid, that means you really care for their well being and because you are afraid you are going to do everything with extra care, you are going to be a great dad Edward, from what I heard of your conversation with them, you already are."

We remained quiet for a few minutes and I lifted my head, her gaze was unfocused somehow, like thinking over something.

"Alice, what do I do?"

…

…

…

After a moment, she set her bright blue eyes on me.

"Edward, do you really still love her?"

"More than my own life." I said immediately, why did she even ask that?

"Then… fight for her." She said matter-of-factly.

…

…

…

"What?"

"You asked for one more chance, right?"

I nodded.

"Well… here it is.

* * *

><p><strong>Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee leave a reaview! This was an important chapter and I want to know what you guys think! Thank you so much for the ones who reviewed last one, I love to hear about all the different teams! I love that there are as many Team Bella as Team Edward, I love that there's a Team Rosalie too and I think I read one about Team both need tails kicked? Did I read right Bella Donna101? I laughed out loud at that one!<strong>

**Thank you so much for your support on this story!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	12. Chapter 12: All In

**Hello! So here it is! **10 000 + words! That's a record for me, my other chapters never passed 7,000 words!****

**I wanna dedicate this chapter to a special reader... Lisopera, for her constant support and her awesome comments on twitter and her reviews, YOU ARE AWESOME! Its for people like you that I continue with this story ;).**

**I also wanna thank LissLove for her constant support and reviews since the begining! =) **

**Thanks to christykq, Mari94, girlygirl0706, darcy13, Carlaisabel, Chilly Howdy, cejsmom, DawnsWhimsy, Jan319 and sandy4321 for their awsome and constant reviews too! THANKS A LOT!**

**and last but not least... my awesome beta cattinson who managed to beta this hell of a chapter in a matter of hours!**

**Character belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;) **

* * *

><p>Chapter 12: All In<p>

"_**All In" – Lifehouse**_

_All night staring at the ceiling  
>counting for minutes I've been feeling this way<br>So far away and so alone_

_But you know it's alright  
>I came to my senses<br>Letting go of my defenses  
>There's no way I'm giving up this time<br>Yeah, you know I'm right here  
>I'm not losing you this time<em>

_And I'm all in, nothing left to hide  
>I'm falling harder than a landslide<br>I spend a week away from you last night  
>And now I'm calling, calling out your name<br>Even if I lose the game, I'm all in  
>I'm all in tonight, yeah I'm all in, I'm all in for life<em>

_There's no taking back what we've got  
>Too strong, we've had each other's back for too long<br>There's no breaking up this time  
>And you know it's okay, I came to my senses<br>Letting go of my defenses  
>There's no way I'm giving up this time<em>

The alarm on my clock tells me it's time to wake up.

But this time, I was woken up already I turn it off and jump out of the bed.

Finally, in a matter of hours I was going to be with them again. Friday was finally here. I know I said I was going on Saturday but… I couldn't wait more so I didn't take lunch breaks this week and cleared my schedule for Friday and Saturday, I was surprising them, even Bella didn't know I was coming today… I hope she didn't mind. The week had been long, way too fucking long especially after my talk with Alice last Sunday, I barely slept that night… thinking in what she told me.

Fight for her.

And that's what was going to do.

I'm not stupid. I know it won't be easy and there is a big chance she won't take me back _I_ wouldn't take _me_ back, but still… I have to try. Of course, before I try anything Bella and I need to clear a lot of things, maybe she isn't ready to talk about that day and to be honest neither am I but we really need to get reacquainted, we need to get to know each other again. Both of us have changed a lot through the years… we needed to know what was going on in our lives, not only because of the sake of our relationship but mostly and more important because of them.

So, what was the plan?

Before I made my move, I was going to show her who I really was, I'm going to show her that I'm still the man she fell in love with, that the person who hurt her wasn't the real me, that I made a mistake and that I have regretted it since the moment I opened my eyes that morning. I'm going to win her trust again even if she never forgives me at least she won't regret to have been mine once. I was going to make her see that what we had had been worth it and that it meant too much to just throw all those memories away. Why erase all the wonderful memories we had together because of my stupidity? They were too precious just to get rid of them, over shadowing them with the bad things. We were so good together.

I'm not going to use what she did against her, that wouldn't be fair. This isn't a battle to show who hurt the other one the most. We both made mistakes and I can only hope that with time we'll learn to forgive each other and move on. I needed to be a man and face my mistakes, it doesn't matter if she made them too, and I still needed to make amends for mines.

Pride can go to hell.

I stepped into the shower stall and took a quick shower, when I was done I took a towel, dried myself and wrapped it around my waist and stood in front of the sink to shave. After that I headed to the walk-in closet, pulled on a pair of dark jeans and my favorite button down blue shirt. It was my favorite because it had been her favorite on me once. Then grabbed my suit case and went upstairs, after calling for a cab I made myself a quick breakfast.

On my way to the airport I called Alice.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hey pixie, did I wake ya?"

"No you didn't, don't worry… you are cheerful this morning, may I ask why?"

"I'm on my way to the airport."

"OH! Yei! I thought you were going tomorrow?"

"Yeah, well… I got impatient so I worked on my breaks. Plus, I wanted to have more time so I could talk to Bella, the agency sent me the files with the houses available."

"Oh, that's great… but wait! Promise me something, I'll get to decorate the kids' rooms! It's my job after all, and I'll do it for free, but please! Let me do it!"

"Well… I'll let Bella know of your offer, but I'm glad you brought that up… that's the reason I was calling you… see, I know the kids will be living with Bella and I still don't know how we are going to work out my meetings with them, or how often I get to see them but I want them to have a place for themselves at my house too, for if they stay the night or for playing and stuff, you know? And I don't know any shit about decoration so co-"

"Of course Edward! Actually I already started on it, I guessed you'll want to turn the guest room in their room so I went by your place during the week while you were at work and took measures. I'll be there with my team on Monday." She said and I laughed incredulously.

"Ok? God Alice you sure are something… but thanks, I appreciate you doing this for me."

"It's not for you dumbass, it's for my beautiful niece and nephew… I want to be their favorite aunt, I'll win that title no matter what, Rose can just kiss my ass… Mom told me she went to Toys "R" Us –the sneaky one- this week so it was time to make my move too."

"What?" I asked surprised "Rose did that? Hey but wait a second, you are not meeting them yet!" I laughed in disbelieve.

"It doesn't matter, I went there too after mom told me and got them a few things too, actually I was hoping to pass by your house today and give them to you so you could give my gifts to them on my behalf tomorrow, but I guess that plan went to hell." She said in disappointment.

"Good god, you know… when you say a few things I'm not sure what to expect. What did you get them?"

"Don't worry, Jasper went with me and he controlled me… kind of, anyways I didn't get them the whole store if that's your concern."

"Ok" I laughed "But tell me, what did you get them?… I'm curious."

"Well, for you pretty little girl" She said in a sing song voice "I got her a mini castle and a real size Rapunzel and a baby Rapunzel, I got her the Flynn Raider doll and Maximus – the horse-" what the hell was she talking about? "I also got her a few dresses and a tea set, some play-doh, an easy-bake oven, hair clips, hair bands and a bunch of accessories to go with her dresses. For Andrew, I got him a pirate's ship and a pirate outfit, I also got him a makeup set to make fake scars so you and Bella don't have to worry about him getting real ones anymore" she chuckled and I laughed, she was awesome "I also got him some pirates' action figures, a soccer ball and a Canada's official soccer uniform, clothes and more clothes, you know me… the essentials, every Cullen needs to be well dressed." She said firmly and I rolled my eyes.

"Jeez Alice, good thing Jasper was with you" I said sarcastically.

"Don't be silly, so anyways… have you thought about what I told you?"

"Yes…"

"And?"

"I'll do it-" A deafening squeal made me pull my phone from my ear. "Jeez Alice! I have ears remember?"

"Sorry! It's just…" Shit, now she is crying. Fucking hormones "It just makes me so happy, to see you… to see you happy and alive and-and trying."

"Well, don't get to excited… first I need to clear a lot of things with her, then let's see how things go… I don't want to ruin everything the kids are in the middle of this after all."

"Yeah, I guess you are right."

"That would be a first, so… listen, I gotta go I'm in the airport now, I'll text you when I land."

"Ok, good luck!"

* * *

><p>It was midday when the taxi dropped me of at their house I was a wreck of nerves… maybe I should have called first. Maybe they are not even at home, what if they have plans? Shit Cullen, get your wits together! Now it's not the time to back down. You need to fight for your family, win them back. After another 10 minutes of pep talk I finally got the guts to ring the bell. Seconds later I heard light footsteps and hear her voice muttering while fighting with the chain and lock. When she finally opened the door her eyes went wide.<p>

"Edward?"

"Uhm, hi… uhm… hello, sorry to come unannounced but… I managed to get today free too… so… is it Ok?"

"Oh, no it's Ok… no, its fine I-I just wasn't expecting you." She said passing a hand through her hair, fixing it lightly. She was wearing some navy old yoga pants and a white V-neck shirt. She looked down and blushed lightly.

I had missed that.

…

…

"Can I come in?"

"Oh, sorry… yeah." She stepped aside and I went in, the house smelled wonderful and something tugged at my mind, I knew that smell.

"Are you baking?"

"Yeah… cheesecake, its Andrew's favorite." I smiled to myself, another thing in common with my boy.

"It smells wonderful." I praised her

"Uhm thanks…" She stammered blushing again "The kids aren't here." She said then.

"Where are they?" I frowned.

"I asked Jane to take them to the park, I needed to work and I couldn't with them around, so… but they'll be back in an hour."

"You were working? Did I interrupt you?"

"No, don't worry… I was taking a break anyways, that's why I was baking."

We entered the kitchen and sat on the breakfast table.

…

…

…

"So, what were you working on?"

"I'm editing a book from an upcoming author, god… I swear it seemed like she didn't even go to high school… even Andrew has better grammar then her and he can't even write yet." She said as an afterthought.

I chuckled.

"What's the book about?" She looked at me for a few seconds.

…

"What are you really here for?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know you… you don't need to make small talk. Just say it."

"Well, I was just asking… sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, I'm really interested in what you do… but you are right on something, I did come earlier for a reason."

"What's that?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" She asked insecurely.

Well, the real reason is that I can't live without you, I need you and I couldn't spend a minute more away. I want you back and to us to be a happy family, like the one you always dreamt of. I swear on my life that I'll never hurt you again, that I'll do my damn hardest to protect you and our beautiful children, I promise I'll give you anything you want and need. You can come right now with me, to our house where we belong, you don't need anything, and all of your stuff is where you left it, untouched since that day. That's what I wanted to say, but of course it wouldn't do me any good and she'll surely think me as a freak and run away so I said the other reason why I was here.

"I know I said you could take your time, and you can but… the agency sent me the files of some houses available, I just wanted to go through them with you."

She eyed me warily.

"Ok, what do you have?"

I reached for my briefcase a pulled a manila envelope and took out the 10 options they send me and spread them in front of Bella. She took a quick look and rolled her eyes, took four of them and threw them in the trash can next to her.

"Hey? What's wrong with those?" I said pointing to the trash can.

"Leaside? Really?"

I continued to stare at her confusingly.

"What's wrong with Leaside?"

"Edward, I'm not going to let you buy me a one million plus house. Get that out of you mind." And now it was my time to roll my eyes.

"Bella, don't worry about that… can you at least list the pros and cons? If there is an emergency Esme and Carlisle will be nearby." I argued "and they have good schools on the area."

"No."

I sighed and gave up. She was just as stubborn.

"Ok, what about the rest?"

She saw them for a moment and moved uncomfortably on her seat.

"Edward, why did you scratch the prices?"

"Because I didn't want them to interfere with your final decision." She rolled her eyes again at me and let out an exasperated sigh.

"It doesn't matter I know High Park is almost as expensive as Leaside. Are there any more options?"

"Nope" I said popping the p.

"God… you are impossible, well… then I don't know… they are beautiful and more than we need of course," she muttered the last part "so you choose… which one do you prefer?"

"It doesn't matter what I prefer."

What I prefer is for you to come and live with me. But I know that is impossible… for now… I hoped in vain.

"You… you still live in the same place?"

I nodded.

…

…

…

"Then, I guess I'll choose High Park… in case of an emergency?"

"I was hoping you'll pick that area."

"Then, why didn't you just say so? You are paying anyway, it's yours."

"Because I wanted _you_ to choose, I'm the one making you move… and it's not mine, it's yours… It'll be under your name."

"Edward…" She complained, god… as I said, she was still as stubborn.

"Then under Marie and Andrew's name." At that she was unarmed.

…

…

…

"God." She muttered to herself "Edward, we don't need an expensive house… really!"

"Bella, I want them safe, in a nice area with nice schools and parks… don't worry about the money, it's more for my peace of mind than anything else. Just think of the benefits, if you choose Leaside you'll have Esme and Carlisle nearby in case of an emergency and the best schools in Toronto… If you pick High Park, the clinic, Alice and I will be nearby and also they have good school options. It's really not a big deal I just want the best for them. Please, let me do this."

…

…

"Ok," She sighed, fucking finally! "I'll take High Park, but… I guess I'll have to see the houses in person before I pick."

"Thank you… uhm… by the way, Alice asked me if she could decorate the kids room, I told her I'll let you know. That it was your decision."

She chuckled and I smiled at her.

"Why does she even ask? I know she'll do it anyway."

"True."

…

…

…

"How is she?"

"Fine, hormones crazy but fine. Camille is giving her a hard time though, she falls asleep everywhere." She smiled brightly.

"God, I remember that…" She mused.

…

…

…

"How was it?" I asked

"How was what?"

"You know… the pregnancy."

"Oh… well, like any other I guess… mood swings, crazy cravings… by the way that was the reason of all the pop tarts." She said lightly and I laughed.

"Glad to finally have an explanation."

"Yeah, but tell me more about Alice… how is she? How did she take the news?" She changed the subject.

"Well… she was in shock at first… but who wasn't? But she is fine, don't worry… she wasn't a problem, she is kind of excited though… she and Rose already bought them presents." I smiled but she flinched.

"What did Rosalie say?"

…

…

"Rosalie will always be Rosalie… but don't worry she won't be a problem either."

"What about your mom?"

…

…

"She said… she said she was happy I was happy." I said softly.

…

…

"Are you happy?"

"Bella… you… you don't know how much they mean to me." Her eyes watered "I now I have only known about them for a couple of weeks but… it's incredible how 2 little persons can own you completely… they are one of the best things that have ever happened to me."

They brought me back to life.

"Yeah, they are pretty amazing." She sniffed looking down and talked again after a moment "I'm sorry Edward… I know you must hate me even if you say you don't… but at least I know you must still be angry… that's why it makes it even harder to accept the things you are offering… I know I don't deserve it."

"Bella, I don't hate you but I'm not going to lie to you… I was pretty angry at you, but not anymore… I thought about our situation a lot this week and… I decided that being angry wasn't going to do me any good. We still need to clear a lot of things and we can't focus on what ifs or the bad things, they are in the middle of this, they come first… I've missed so much time with them already…. I don't want to waste more… I just want to be with them, be part of their lives, to be their dad and being in a constant quarrel with you won't help me or us. I don't want us to be one of those… ehm… _ex-couples_ who can't stand each other and the kids are the ones who suffer the consequences, but of course we need to communicate… be honest and… try to go on. I told you… I wish you hadn't done what you did, I still think you shouldn't have but I understand why you did it… I fucked up… you needed your space… and time." I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the pain in vain again. She took a napkin and dried her tears.

"I agree, they come first… whatever our issues are with each other… that's something else." She said, ignoring the last part of my speech.

"But Bella, we still need to be open with each other, be honest and tell each other when something is bugging us."

"Of course, you can ask me anything about them… or about the past four years for that matter."

"Thanks, same here."

She nodded.

"I talked to Mike by the way." She said suddenly

"Mike?"

"Yes, my boss… I told him about moving to Toronto, he was glad… it will be easier as the quarters are there as you know. I have to go to Toronto next week though I have a meeting with him. I guess I can bring them? So you don't have to come again?"

"I don't mind coming, but if you are coming anyway that'll be a great idea and I guess it would be a good time to see the houses."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll be going in on Friday, so you can see them the whole weekend, I have my meeting with my boss on Monday and after that we can see the houses, we can leave Tuesday morning."

"That's perfect."

…

…

"I wanted to discuss something with you…" She motioned to me to go on "When do you think it will be a good time for them to… ehm… meet my family?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I don't want to overwhelm them… meeting a bunch of strangers, don't you think it would be too much?"

…

…

"Well, I don't think so… I guess they'll be nervous but… they are not total strangers, I told them a lot about your family."

"So, do you think it'll be ok if they meet them next week? When you come to Toronto?"

…

…

"Yes, I don't see a problem with it." She said sniffing and drying the remaining of her tears with a napkin.

"Ok."

…

…

"Bella… now that we are finally talking… can I ask you something? I mean… personal? I know it's not of my business, but… I need to know, for them?"

She looked at me curiously.

"Ok, what is it?" She asked tentatively.

…

…

"Are you seeing someone?" She flinched and then grimaced slightly.

…

…

"No, I'm not seeing anyone… I don't have the time or neither do I want to. My whole focus is on them." She said softly but firmly and even though I felt my heart bumping hard on my chest it didn't last long, the pain was clear on her face.

"_You knew this you knew my fears, my worries, my dreams and hopes. I trusted you with them, and you just took them and threw them out of the window… I honestly thought you'd be the last man on earth… to ever hurt me like that…" She sobbed._

I was an asshole.

I didn't deserve her, how did I even have the nerve to think otherwise? That I deserved a second chance?

"Ok." I answered quietly.

…

…

"What about you?" She asked without looking at me, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"No, I never saw anyone." I said, didn't she see I could only see her? Didn't she see what she meant to me?

She lifted her head abruptly, her eyes on mine.

"You never dated? Anyone?" She asked skeptically.

"No, I couldn't."

She looked at me directly in my eyes and I got lost on the depth of her big chocolate brown eyes. Her gorgeous eyes that had seen more pain and hurt that she was ever supposed to, those pained eyes that had haunted me for years, the same eyes that I had dreamt every night since she walked out that damn door. The eyes that had made me drink those bottles two and a half years ago. I couldn't stand the pain in them, if there was a way to make her pain go away I'll do it, whatever it was, even if I had to be burned alive I'll do it. Suddenly, I had this urge to tell her, to come clean, tell her that I still love her, that I wasn't over her and that it'll never be, that I'll keep that promise, that I'll love her forever. That I needed her smile, her laugh, her voice to live… that without her I was nothing… that without her I was just a body in search of its soul. But thankfully, when I was about to open my mouth -before I scared her away- the doorbell rang making the both of us jump and loose the connection.

"I'd better go get that." She muttered and stood up, and I noticed her legs where shaking slightly. I stood up too and followed her to the door, when she was about to reach the door her foot got caught on a mat and she stumbled, I reached for her to steady her. When I caught her I marveled at feel of her body against mine, her heat, her delicious smell… she still smelled like I remembered, even better. I felt her shiver on my arms and she steadied herself quickly and pulled away, I immediately felt the cold. I hated it. She composed herself and mumbled a thank you and turned to the door. It was the mailman, -fucking mailman- with 2 packages from the RBC and American Express. Her cards must have arrived.

"It's the cards." She confirmed.

"Good."

"Thanks again." She said looking down and I nodded, then she went to the living room and sat down on the couch and opened the envelopes, she was going through some sheets of paper when I decided to move too and sat next to her on the other side of the couch, I lifted my face and scanned the living room and my eyes caught a certain photo. I recognized immediately who they were. Marie and Andrew, about one year old, I reached for the picture and stared at it for only god knows how long. They were both on a crib, Andrew was holding himself up with the bars of the crib, Marie was sitting next to him sucking her thumb and clutching a soft doll with her other hand, she was staring curiously at the camera and Andrew had a big goofy smile on his face. A tear fell on the picture and I realized I was crying, I wiped it away and dried my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Tell me about them." I said hoarsely putting the framed photo back on the coffee table. She turned to me and saw what I was referring to.

"What do you want to know?" She whispered.

"Anything," I said lifting my head to look at her, her face was a mask but I could see the pain in her eyes had come back. "Who talked first, what were their first words, at what age did they walked… anything."

Bella thought for a moment and then she said,

"Wait a second." She turned and went upstairs, after a minute she came back with a big box. "Here, this is for you…" she said positioning herself in front of me and handing me the box.

"What is it?"

…

…

…

She took a long breath and let it out slowly before she talked again.

"Edward, I know I'll never be able to give you that time back, and I'm really sorry… I know I was selfish but… that was the only way I could cope at the time, then it came harder and harder, I felt guilty and was afraid of you, about your reaction… about everything… and I still had a lot of things to deal with myself… I didn't want you to miss everything or anything so… I documented every day of their lives…" Her voice broke and her chin trembled "I took a picture of them every single day… and then I would put them on an album and write a small note underneath… something relevant about that day… the albums are here and also… I recorded a lot of special things… like, when they walked for the first time… when they talked," She started crying "laughed… when they said daddy for the first time." She looked down and cried harder, I stared at her wide eyed, did she really do this? For me? I couldn't believe it. After the shock passed I came to my senses… I didn't want to see her cry anymore, both of us had had enough of that we needed to focus on now, for them… I didn't want her to be in pain, it killed me to see her like that so I did the only thing that come to mind, I took the box from her shaking hands,- which was really heavy- put it on the couch next to me, stood up and wrapped my arms around her. She stiffened for a moment but then relaxed and cried harder, her skinny arms going around herself, hugging herself.

"Thank you." I whispered and she nodded her head against my chest, I hugged her tighter and pulled my face down inhaling her hair, then she stiffened again and pulled away abruptly.

"Don't do that."

…

…

"I'm sorry, I just… I hate to see you cry."

"I'm fine." She said curtly avoiding my gaze.

"Bella… I'm… I'm s-"

The fucking bell rang again Bella took the opportunity and flew to the door. Running away from me.

"It must be them." She said drying her tears and walking to the door while putting a fake smile on her face, she took a minute to compose herself and then she opened the door and I heard them before I saw them.

"Mommy!" they cheered.

"Hi sweeties, did you have fun with Jane?"

"Yes! Look mommy! Jane made me pony tails!" Marie said happily and I chuckled.

"Wow! You look so pretty honey! Hey babies… guess what? I have a surprise for you!"

"You got me a ship?" Andrew asked hopefully and I chuckled.

"Nope, even better… guess who is in the living room?" Bella said excitedly, for them obviously.

"Who?" Both asked in unison.

"Go and see." Bella stepped aside and both entered the house scanning the living room curiously, it took them a few seconds before they saw me.

"DADDY!" Both screamed in delight and came running towards me, I kneeled on the floor and received them with my arms wide open, wrapping them in a tight embrace, hiding my face on their hair with my eyes shut so they wouldn't see my fresh tears. God I missed them.

"Hey there?" I greeted them trying to laugh.

"You are here!" Andrew beamed.

"Of course! I promised didn't I?" I said lifting my head and looking back at him. I needed to see their gorgeous faces.

"But… but mommy told us you coming tomorrow." Marie whimpered with her face still hidden in my chest and my heart broke in two. I lifted her chin with one finger and I kissed her brows, erasing the worried lines there.

"I know, but you know what pretty girl?"

"What?"

"I missed you so much, I couldn't wait another day." I told her and the bright smile in her face could put the sun to shame. I kissed her small tears away.

"I missed you too." She said wrapping her arms around my neck again.

"Missed you too." Andrew said burrowing his face on my shoulder.

I kissed both of their heads and hugged them tighter, making them chuckle.

"I don't think more than I did." I said "So, you went to the park?" I asked.

"Yes! Look, come!" Marie said detangling herself from me and taking my hand, I stood up and followed her "Jane! Jane! This is my daddy!" Marie introduced me cheerfully to a surprised Jane, she was young, sixteen or seventeen years old, she seemed nice, she had a lovely atmosphere around her.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Cullen" She said politely.

"Edward." I told her.

"See Jane! I told you I looked like him!" Andrew suddenly said.

"I see… you were right!" Jane answered happily and Bella chuckled.

"Thanks for taking care of them today, how much do I owe you?" Bella said then.

"Don't worry about it Bella, I had fun with them."

"No, please… it was two hours right? Fifteen? Let me get my purse."

"I got it." I said and pulled a twenty from my back pocked. "That's fine" I told her to keep the change.

"Thank you Sir." Jane said shyly after taking the money and turned to Bella "See you later Bella, call me if you need anything!" Bella walked her to the door and when she was about to leave she turned and whispered something to Bella, she laughed and slapped Jane playfully on her shoulder.

"Get out of here!" Bella said and Jane laughed harder making Bella blush.

"Bye skittles!" Jane said over her shoulder to Andrew and Marie and they laughed.

"Bye Snicker!" Both answered and Jane walked out the door.

"What was that?" I asked once Bella has closed the door.

"I don't know, I don't get half of their jokes… I just know they refer each other as different candies every time." She rolled her eyes happily. Marie tugged at my jeans and when I looked at her she stretched her arms at me, telling me without words to carry her, I smiled at her and did as she asked positioning her on my hip, and she kissed my cheek. Yup, she had me wrapped around her little pretty finger.

"Mommy, I'm humgry." Andrew said.

"What do you want sweetie?"

"PIZZA!"

"It's Friday, pizza is on Sundays."

"But mommy!" Andrew whined.

"Chose something else."

Andrew pouted, it was a hilarious scene.

"Not gonna work honey, you used it already this morning." Bella said playfully in a sing song voice and Andrew rolled his eyes making me laugh harder and Marie chuckled against my neck.

"Spaguetti?" Andrew asked hopefully.

Bella turned to me

"Do you mind if we go out?"

"No, of course not."

* * *

><p>We went to Allegro, a small Italian restaurant and had lunch there I didn't realize I was starving until I had the food in front of me. As expected Andrew made a mess on the table, making us laugh much to the dismay of Bella, but I could tell she wasn't really angry, just annoyed at his stained shirt.<p>

"Andrew, use your fork." Bella admonished.

"Pirates don't use forks! They eat with hands!"

"That's not true." Marie said.

"How do you know?"

"Remember the movie? When the ugly pirate invites Elizabeth for dinner? They have forks on the table."

"Oh. Well, only when they're on the ship." Marie rolled her eyes at him and I chuckled.

"Andrew, enough honey… use your fork." Bella said firmly and Andrew obeyed, I chuckled again and Bella threw me a playful glare.

"Yeah, laugh all you want… but wait when Alice sees him staining one of the shirts she must have bought for him already. I'm pretty sure _you'll_ never hear the end of that."

God, she was right. My sister was kind of a fashion freak.

"So, Marie… tell me more about you week sweetie."

"She pee herself again." Andrew chuckled and Marie snapped her head at him.

"Andrew!" Marie cried in mortification. "No I didn't!"

"Yes! You did!"

"Mom!"

"Andrew, stop making fun of Marie, apologize or I'll ground you."

…

"Sorry, I was joking." Andrew said sheepishly.

"You know I don't like it, don't do it again." Marie said whimpering and I rubbed her back softly with my left hand.

"It's ok sweetie." I tried to sooth her and kissed the top of her head, I didn't like to see her like that.

"Sorry." Andrew said again and leaned to her and kissed her cheek. "Won't do it again, prwomise."

I smiled at the little scene. I was about to ask Marie why she was embarrassed, that it was normal at her age when I heard my name being called.

"Edward?" I turned around and saw Lauren walking towards our table, I felt Bella stiffen beside me.

Weird.

"Hello, Lauren."

"Hi, Edward… didn't expect to see you here. What are you doing here? I thought you were in Toronto."

"I came to see my kids, these are Andrew and Marie" I introduced them proudly "and this is Bella, their mother." It felt so weird to call Bella just their mother she was so much more… to me at least. "Bella this is Lauren, she is starting her residence at the clinic next week."

"Hi." Bella said curtly and to my surprise Lauren ignored her.

"Awww Edward, they are sooo cute! I didn't know you had kids." She said giving me a weird smile and eyeing my left hand.

"Well, I do."

"Awww, you look good as a daddy, it suits you."

Ok? Thanks? This was getting weird I didn't really know her so why was she even trying to make conversation? A hello would have sufficed, plus… was it me or did Bella looked uncomfortable too? She was staring at her plate, moving a ravioli around, trying not to look up. She looked so… insecure? Afraid?

Suddenly Lauren made an attempt to rub Andrew's hair –in a motherly gesture I guess- but Andrew jerked his head away.

"No one touches the hair. Only mommy touches the hair." He spat

Just like daddy.

Only Bella could touch my hair.

"Uhm…" Lauren looked at me, expecting me to chastise him I guess for his manners but I could emphasize with him, _no one touches the hair. _It's a mess already as it is.

"Andrew…" I said softly giving him a meaningful look "Sorry about that. Kids." Was all I said.

"Uhmm, ok… it's ok, I understand, I just wanted to say that I'm looking forward to working for you."

"Ehm Lauren? You won't be working for me…" god this was awkward but the way she had said it sounded… wrong "Your tutor will be my father. Sorry, I thought you knew that?"

"Oh well… yeah, I meant working _with_ you." She said with that weird smile again, and then it hit me. Fuck, please god… tell me she is _not_ flirting with me? In front of Bella? Really? and my kids? Is she insane? Retarded? Stupid? I guess all of the above.

"You are ugly." Andrew suddenly said and I swear I wished for the earth to swallow me whole as I barked a laugh in amusement trying to hide it with a cough. This kid had no shame.

"What?" Lauren asked in disbelieve.

"You are ugly."

"Why?"

"Because mommy tells us to always say the truth, and my mommy is the prettiest in the world." Andrew said with his chin up and crossing his little arms.

Bella smiled proudly but tried to hide it with drinking from her lemonade.

"Andrew, thanks baby but… you can't call people ugly, its disrespectful. Apologize sweetie." Bella said then.

"But mommy _you_ are the prettiest." He argued back.

"I know sweetie" I said then,-Bella turned to look at me- saving Bella from discomfort "but still, you can't offend people like that." I admonished him lightly. "Apologize to Lauren."

…

…

…

"Daddy says I'm sorry." Andrew said nonchalantly, I rolled my eyes, so much for an apology.

"Sorry about that, he is a kid." I told Lauren sincerely.

"It's Ok, don't worry Edward… I have nephews I know what it's like when they meet strangers." She said shrugging it off but I could see the annoyance in her eyes.

…

…

So? What next? Did she plan to sit with us too?

I hoped not.

"I'll better get going, I'm meeting some friends. See you next week Edward." She said, ignoring Bella again.

"Bye." I said and she finally walked off, I turned around and saw Andrew staring at me wide eyed. Did he look scared? Or was it just me?

"What's wrong kiddo?"

"Are you mad at me?" He asked in a soft voice.

"No of course not kiddo, but you shouldn't have said that Andrew, it's wrong to call people things."

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to offend your frwiend. I just don't like her."

"Well, first of… she is not my friend, she just works with pops," For some reason I wanted Bella to know that "and guess what?" I asked wriggling my eyebrows.

"What?" He said curiously.

"I don't like her either." I said scrunching my nose playfully.

He smiled widely.

* * *

><p>As the Pearson airport came into view from the airplane window, signing our arrival to Toronto my mind went back to my farewell to my kids. My left hand went instinctively to the box on the seat next to me. I hadn't opened it… I knew if I did it at their home I would have broke down in front of them and I didn't think that was the best idea, and I didn't want to go through the photos in my hotel room so I decided to wait until I was home, alone to cry my guts out as I knew I would.<p>

They had come to the airport to see me go this time. I hated those kinds of farewells but Marie was determined, she had cried bawled and screamed at their house. It had been the first time I saw any of them throw a fit. So Bella had no other choice than to let them come and to be honest, neither do I… I wanted every extra minute I could have with them. I cherished every moment with them.

"_When we seeing you again?" Marie asked sadly._

"_Next week sweetie, I told you… you mommy and Andrew will come to Toronto this time."_

"_Prwomise?"_

"_I promise sweetie. I love you Ok? Be good for me?"_

_She nodded but then talked again._

"_Why can't we go now?"_

"_Because your stuff is here sweetie and because of other things that you wouldn't understand now baby."_

"_But I don't want my stuff, I wanna be with you." She cried stomping her foot, making my heart shrink._

"_I wanna be with you too sweetie, but as I said… Mommy and I still need to arrange some things, you'll be moving to Toronto soon and you'll see me more often. I promise."_

_She threw her arms at me and continued to cry Andrew followed her and did the same. I held them to my chest trying to control myself in vain. I knew Bella could still see the pain in me so I shut my eyes and hid my face on Marie's hair trying to control my breathing. This was too much, I didn't want to go. I wanted to stay and take them to a lot of places, like I had done the previous days, hear more stories about day care, about Marie's dreams and about Andrew's adventures with Davy Jones… apparently his hair was like Lauren's, but I had surgery the next day, I had to go. Life wasn't fair, it was one thing to make me feel pain but a whole other fucking thing for them to be in pain. What had they done? They were just two little angels._

_The speaker announced my plane for their last call. _

_Shit._

_Fuck the pain._

_I lifted my head and kissed their foreheads again. When I tried to stand from my crouching position the whimpers turned into bawls so I stayed like I was and made them look at me._

_Shit, I rubbed my chest to try and ease the pain. I kissed them both one more time and lifted their chins with my shaking hands._

"_Shhh… it's Ok, don't cry please," I rubbed their backs soothingly "it makes me sad… give me a smile? Please?" Both shook their heads and I sighed "I love you my little angels, we'll be together soon. I promise, Ok? I'm here, I won't leave you. You are my babies Ok?"_

_Both nodded hesitantly and Bella stepped forward to detangle them from me. When I lifted my head all breath left me. Her eyes, there was so much pain in them._

_I stood up still locked in her eyes, and we stared each other for a second. I tried to convey with my eyes what I couldn't say out loud._

_We'll be ok. We'll find a way. _

_I love you. _

_I'm yours._

…

…

…

"_Thank you for the box." I told her and she nodded. "I… I'll see you next week?"_

"_Yes, I'll text you the details… I'll buy the tickets tonight."_

"_Use the cards…" When she was about to protest I interrupted her "Please."_

…

…

"_OK, see you on Friday."_

_With one final kiss to my angels I turned around and walked into the gate fighting back my tears, once the plane took off and the seat-belt sign was off, I stepped into the airplane bathroom and cried freely._

The cab driver brought me out of my memories.

"Sir, ehm… which number?"

"101." I told him and a minute later he was pulling in front my house.

I paid him, took the box from next to me and my small suit case and made my way into the house. I opened the door and put the keys on the small table, put the suit case on the floor and stared at my lonely house. It was too quiet, dark… gloomy. I was alone again.

I made my way upstairs and entered my study/music room. I sat on the floor in front of the coffee table with the box next to me. I stared at it for a while… I was afraid of the pain, but at the same time my hands her twitching to open it, my heart was screaming at me but my brain was telling me to avoid the pain.

I lifted my hand a removed the top, I peeked inside and saw 13 albums and 4 DVDs. The headbands of the albums were all labeled, _"M&A January – March 2009", "M&A April – June 2009", "M&A July-September 2009"…_ and so on until this month. I reached for the first album with a shaking hand, put it on my lap and opened it.

I gasped at the first picture.

It was one of Bella, sitting on a couch with her legs up indian style, she was holding a book with her right hand while she read it. But that wasn't what made my insides shrink in pain, it wasn't her, the book, or the soft doll that was next to her.

It was her big round stomach.

She looked so beautiful, so peaceful… so perfect. She had her left hand tenderly over her belly. I touched the photo with the tip of my fingers, wishing I could get inside the picture, sit next to her and wrap one arm around her, pulling her close to me, protecting her while I read with her… like we used to. Only this time, it wouldn't be just her I was caring for… it would be for them too. I imagined myself there with her, and wondered what I would have done. I guess I would have turned to her and whisper to her ear how much I loved her, how great she was… I would have kissed her first and then her belly while caressing it tenderly.

I let out a sob and closed my eyes, dropped the album and hugged my knees to my chest. I ruined it. I ruin everything, yes… she could have told me, she could have come to me and told me she was pregnant with our children… and then what? I still did what I did, I cheated on her, and so things wouldn't have been different. She still would have hated me and I still would have been an asshole. We wouldn't be together and our kids would still have grown up in a broken home all these years.

It was my fault.

I started this, the rest where just consequences for my horrible actions. I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger and took deep breaths to calm myself. We promised we would look forward, I can't takes steps back, I have been losing so much time, this was my chance and I needed to be strong. Here was enough proof of what I could lose again if I don't get my wits together.

I opened my eyes and took the album again turning the page. I was met with 6 pictures, 3 in every side. The first one was one of Bella with Andrew, he had a blue pajama and little baby hat with bear ears, he looked too cute for words. He was sleeping against Bella's chest, his mouth open slightly, she had a sweet smile on her face, but I still could see a ting of sadness in her eyes. I stared at it long enough to memorize Andrew's gorgeous baby face. His rounded chin and cheeks, the small mound of dark hair on his sideburns and his little button nose. He was so beautiful. The third one was of Marie, her little body on the incubator. She looked so small and fragile it broke my heart. She barely had hair but she was still as beautiful as Andrew, the same button nose and round cheeks and chin, just smaller. She was my pretty little girl. Time passed and before I knew it I was going through the 4th album looking a 1 year old Marie laughing hysterically at something… with food all on her cheeks when my phone chirped. It was a text from Alice, asking me if I was going to step by at our parents' house, that they were still there after brunch if I wanted to go. I texted her back, telling her that I was tired and wanted to sleep, that I'll call her tomorrow. I wasn't in the mood and I still had tons of photos to see yet.

Four albums later, my legs were starting to get numb so I stood up and I picked up one of the DVD's and put it on the DVD player after turning the TV on, I sat on the couch in front of the TV and hit play.

The screen was black for a second before I heard Bella's mommy voice.

"_Hey baby… what'cha doin Andrew? What'cha looking at?" _She said in a playful tone and Andrew made a weird baby sound. _"Andrew? Where is Marie? Do you see her?" _She asked playfully, Andrew was sitting on the floor, he must be about 9 months old, he had a winnie the pooh pacifier and was clutching a teddy bear with his right hand, slamming it to the floor, ignoring Bella's chatter, only turning to stare at her curiously every few seconds. _"Marie? Where are you sweetie?"_ Bella called on another sing song voice and then I heard Charlie's voice.

"_Here she is! Hey Marie, say hello to mommy!"_ Charlie appeared on the screen, carrying a curious looking Marie while he was waving at the camera. I could feel the wide smile on my face, my cheeks were burning already. My babies, they were so beautiful, so innocent, so pure and wonderful. I cleared my tears away with the back of my hand and grabbed the cushion next to me hugging it against my chest. I missed them so much.

"_Hi baby! Awww look how pretty you are! Hey dad, can you put Marie next to Andrew? Sit down you've been up and down all day."_

"_Hey! Just because I'm a grandpa doesn't mean I'm old!" _I laughed at Charlie's indignation.

"_Of course not!" _Bella laughed and I laughed with her. _"I just want you to rest a little bit. Hey Marie, how's my baby girl?" _Bella said in a funny voice when Charlie put Marie next to Andrew, Andrew grabbed his pacifier and threw it at Charlie hitting him in the eye, Bella laughed and Charlie snorted lightly _"Aww Andrew! You are so cute!"_ Bella laughed, marveling at everything they did andsuddenly, I heard a squeaky sound and both Charlie and Bella went quiet, Charlie's eyes went wide and the camera focused on Andrew.

"_Did he just….?"_ Bella asked in wonder and Andrew made that sound again, but this time I could see what it was.

He was laughing.

His green big eyes sparkling in joy.

"_Oh my god!"_ Bella cried _"He laughed! Did you see that dad?"_ Andrew laughed again and I heard Bella's excited voice again. _"Oh my god! He laughed again! He's laughing!" _Bella said jumping up and down, the camera moving with her andAndrew laughed again.

"_I think he's laughing at you."_ Charlie said in an amused tone.

"_Awww… sweetie! You laughing at mommy? Huh? Awww… I love you my pretty little boy." _Bella said in a soft voice and my heart ached at her choice of words… she called him _pretty little boy_. He was her pretty little boy.

The screen went black for a second and a new video started, they were both on the kitchen, sitting on their babies chairs, Bella sat in front of them giving them their baby food. Andrew was done, he had food all over his face and Bella was feeding Marie.

"Hey dad." Bella greeted Charlie, who was holding the camera, she looked tired, she had purple circles under her eyes, her hair was in a messy bun and she looked skinnier.

"_Hey, what's the meal for today?" _Charlie asked herand Bella looked at the small jar for a second

"_Bannanas."_ She smiled at him _"Hey dad could you pass me another jar please? I think Andrew wants more."_ The screen went blurry for a second and then Marie and Andrew appeared again. _"Thanks"_ Bella said to him. They were older, I couldn't tell exactly how much but Marie's hair was longer and her eyes were more curious, she was paying attention at everything Bella did. Andrew was staring at Marie sucking his thumb, his head reclined on the little table on his baby chair while Bella continued to feed Marie. _"Dad, did you buy the diapers I asked you?" _Bella suddenly asked.

"_Shit, I forgot!"_

"_Dad!" _Bella chastised him for his language.

"_Sorry…"_

"_Dad, careful with-"_

"_Dad-da."_ My heart stopped at the same time Bella snapped her head at Marie.

"_Oh my god!"_ She gasped _"Dad? Did you hear that?"_ Bella asked Charlie in wonder.

"Yes." Charlie stuttered and Bella's eyes filled with tears.

"_Da-d-a…" _Marie said again and Bella gasped.

"_Oh my god! She is saying dad!" _Bella cried, she was smiling… but I couldn't tell if her tears where happy ones.

The screen went black again.

I paused the DVD.

I looked down at the box and the scattered albums and photos. Bella had collected every memorable memory for me. She had saved every single moment so I wouldn't have missed it completely, it wasn't the same… but it was way better than nothing. I remembered her face on the videos and photos… she looked… peaceful, happy when she was with them, content… but something was missing… the same thing I noticed that time in the park when I snapped the picture. That light she used to have was missing. She wasn't happy, at least not blissfully happy… she was broken, I did that to her. She wore a mask everyday for them. Yeah, I suffered a lot but now it really downed to me she had had the hardest part in this, -she still has it- it was her decision but it didn't make it easier, it didn't mean it was the easiest way. She raised them by her own, alone… she had to go on after what I did, I broke everything she believed on and she still went on. She found a job, got them everything they needed without help, she made a hell of a mother even with the depression I caused her, the low self-esteem she must had endured and the postnatal depression she surely had, she put a brave face to everything, she still found a way to smile for them every day while I just rolled on my self-pity, loathing myself while doing nothing. She faced the kid's questions, faced me, and will eventually face my family. This was a lot to take in. She had been so brave, so strong all these years…

How much damage must I have done to her, for her to make such an extreme decision? For her to carry on with all this weight for four years in her state? Her state of sadness, low self-esteem, and depression? I knew her, she had always been so selfless, kind and quite the martyr, in other circumstances she wouldn't have done what she did. She wouldn't have done that without a true valid reason. But she did it, I couldn't believe everything she must have gone through just because she didn't want to see me… because I hurt her. Obviously she couldn't stand any more pain, she had enough on her plate and having to see me almost on a daily basis wouldn't have been good for her. She had to go out of character and take this extreme decision because of the great amount of pain I caused her. She was protecting herself, I knew that now, I could see it in every picture, hear it in her voice on the videos, see it now when I saw her this weekend. But, I could also tell she was still suffering… why? It has been four years… I still suffer because she still is everything to me, but what about her? What does it mean? Is the wound still open? Is it still hard for her to see me? To remember her last memory of me? The last memory she had from me was of me in bed with another woman. I guess that's an image that would never go away. But was about her feelings? What does she feel now? What does she think of me?

AGHHH! So much questions and crying my head started to hurt again, I stood up and went to my room, once there I went to stand next my bedside table and opened the drawer, took some advil and swallowed without water, when my gaze fell I saw the little black velvet box.

"_I wouldn't know how to survive without you, you are my rock, and as cheesy as it sounds… you are my other half. I love you more than anything and I promise you too that no matter what, I'll never let my love for you die… no matter if it kills me I'll always love you." She said in a soft voice._

Did she really mean that? I guess she did at the time… but, are those words still true? I know my promise still applies but what about hers? Is that why she still is in pain? Or is it just the consequences of what I did? Did I destroy her soul that much that she had lost her light forever? I didn't know, but I couldn't stand the thought alone. I couldn't stand the fact of her being so unhappy for the rest of her life. She deserved happiness, joy and fulfillment.

She deserved her life back. She wasn't living… like me, she had been only existing, I knew that know. She was only existing because she didn't have any dreams or hopes left, I took them away from her. Was that how my family has seen me all this years? That lost? I don't know I just knew I wanted more for her. It was my fault she was like that, so self enclosed, blocking me every time I tried to talk to her about her, about us… I broke her, she didn't trust me or anyone anymore, not even her friends. I guessed it had also something to do with her past, her mom abandoned her, and then… I made her abandon me. She had loved me and I hurt her too. No wonder she didn't believe in happily ever afters anymore, first her mom and then me. I had been an idiot, but now… now _I had a chance_, a slight one but I still had it, _that's_ what I had wished for all this years, for one more chance, and I couldn't blow it, I couldn't lose any more time, I needed to do something, I needed to concentrate and put things in perspective, I couldn't stop myself to think any more on the what ifs or on the negative things about all this. I got my chance, and I wasn't going to miss it. I knew I had to be careful, the kids were in the middle of this and the most important part, but I knew what I had to do first, I needed to win her trust back. That's a first. I had to win her trust back, I betrayed her, she didn't believe in me anymore, so I needed to win her trust before I made any move. I was going to fix the mess I did, even if she never takes me back, I was going to make sure she gets that light back, that she could smile genuinely again. I was going to make her see we were worth it, that we hadn't been a mistake. Our beautiful kids were proof enough of that, I was going to show her I was here, that as promised I'll always be there for her, I was going to support her and be there for her in everything she needed, that I was still her rock, someone she could rely on. I would be anything she needed.

Her soul mate, I still think we were meant for each other. Destiny was giving me a second chance. That was clear now.

I was going to fix this, I was going to see her smile again and I was going to win her trust again, I was determined. Of course our babies came first, and everything I'm doing and everything I'll do I'll be doing it for them too. I wanted my family back, I was going to fight for it. I was going to be the best dad and her best friend, and hopefully… one day, she'll take me back.

I'm here now, I'm all in. I know I'm risking a lot, my heart specially but I won't back down, I've been asleep for so long it's time to fight back.

I won't give up. I won't lose them this time.

I'm going to get my family back.

* * *

><p><strong>Go Eddie! Go Eddie! GO, GO, Go Eddie! So, this was a turning point for Edward as you can see... PLEASE REVIEW! I BEG YOU! I need those reviews as much as Eddie need his pretty girl back!<strong>

**Quick fanfic recommendation, if you are into heavy angst, wonderful writing and originality and wonderful bittersweet story, you should check Torn by DoobaWrites I'm pretty sure most of you have heard of it already, if you haven't you should check that one out! It's my favorite fanfic of all time!**

**soo till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	13. Chapter 13: Missing You

**Yup, you read right... chapter 13 its here! I got a lot of awesome reviews so I got inspired and I just had to write...**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I don't answer to all of you but I read each one of them! and they make me soo happy!**

**Thank to my fuckawesome beta Cattinson for betaing _two_ chapters in one weekend!**

**I tried to post this last night but FFN wouldn't let me =(((( but here it is! This chapter goes by a little quick, as Edward waits the twins to come on Friday, but still... a few things happen ;) I hope this chapter starts to answer all of your questions!**

**BTW, someone said that Bella and Edward are just being immature and stupid about everything... and you are right, that's the point of every story, specially this one, you have a character, in this case two, with a problem or a difficult circumstance, they are in this problem because of their mistakes and stupidity, to face that problem they have mature as the story continues, they fall, learn and stand up again, they can't be perfect, they are humans. That's the point, to get emotions out of all of you, to make you hate Bella, to make you hate Edward or what they are going through.**

**Anyways, enough with the chat, see you at the bottom!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13: Missing You<strong>

_"**Missing You" – Tyler Hilton**_

_Everytime I think of you_  
><em>I always catch my breath<em>  
><em>I'm still standing here<em>  
><em>And your miles away<em>  
><em>And I wonder why you left me<em>  
><em>And there's a storm that's raging through my frozen heart tonight<em>

_I hear your name in certain circles_  
><em>And it always makes me smile<em>  
><em>I spend my time just thinking about you<em>  
><em>And it's almost driving me wild<em>

_But it's my heart that's begging down this long distance line tonight_

_And I ain't missin' you at all_  
><em>Since you've been gone... Away<em>  
><em>I ain't missin' you<em>  
><em>No matter what I might say<em>

_There's a message in the wires_  
><em>And I am sendin' you a signal tonight<em>  
><em>You don't know how desperate I've become<em>  
><em>And It looks like I'm losing this fight<em>

_But it's my heart that's breakin' down this long dusty road of mine_

_Everything moves._

_I don't know where is up and down. My head hurts and I feel like choking, it's so hot in here, I need to get out. I need air. My heart is pumping hard on my chest, adrenaline running through my veins. I turn to my right and try to focus my eyes… Jasper. I see Jasper, I call to him, I know I'm talking to him but I don't know what I'm saying, he is laughing._

"_Fuck dude! You are so wasted! Bella is going to kill you!" He laughs and someone next to him laughs too. I said something to him I don't know what but he nods his head. "Yeah, I guess that's a good idea, I'll take you home." I said something else, I still can't make sense of what I'm saying, it's as if my brain is not connected to my mouth. "Are you sure dude? I don't mind… I can drive you." I said something else, I think I'm arguing or some shit like that. Why can't I hear my voice? "Ok," Jasper says after a moment "but at least let me hail you a cab."_

_I know I'm walking, and I know Jasper is following. I am on autopilot I'm not taking in my surroundings. I just want to get the hell out of here. The music is too loud. Suddenly everything becomes quiet and I feel a light breeze on my face. We are out. Where am I? What's going on? Jasper, what's he doing here? I see Jasper calling for a cab, when the cab is in front of me Jasper tells something to the driver, he opens the door for me and I step in. "Shit dude! You don't look god! Bella is going to kill you! Good luck tomorrow!" He shouts and I ignore him, I just want to go home. It's too loud in here. The door closes for a second but it suddenly opens again and a too sweet smell assaults my nostrils, I hate it… it makes me wanna puke, it's too sweet it burns my nose. "Hey baby…" A soft voice coos. "Bella?" I ask and the voice chuckles. After a second I feel a hand on my leg, stroking up and down. I don't like it, it's cold. Then I feel something in my neck, something wet. It feels wrong but for some reason I don't pull away. Everything is cloudy, I don't see a damn. The hand on my leg goes up to my crotch and starts stroking over my jeans. I moan… it feels wrong but I can't pull away, it feels good at the same time. Another hand grabs my hair and I groan, I love when Bella does that. The voice chuckles again and I feel something against my lips. She is kissing me and I don't stop it._

I woke up with a start, panting and sweating. Fuck, what the hell was that? I put my hand over my chest and feel the fast beating of my heart. I take deep breaths trying to calm down. What was that? I try to remember the dream… or nightmare but everything is fussy. I just remember Jasper and lights, and the voice… it was slurry and… off. I don't know. I lay back down trying to make sense of this… nightmare? What had Jasper said in the dream? I can't remember… something about Bella, but I can only remember him saying her name, nothing else. I sigh and the alarm rings. It's time to get up.

I get out of the bed and realize I have a morning wood.

Great.

I step into my bathroom, take off my clothes and step into the shower stall, a sweet smell lingers in the back of my mind, and it's enough to make my nose sting, I hate it. I take her strawberry shampoo and open the bottle taking a sniff. Much better… Was I weird? Yeah, I think so. I take care of my dilemma and finish my shower.

The dream still tugs at the back of my mind, something bothers me. I finish dressing up and head to the stairs, on my way down I hear voices in my living room, when I reach the foyer, I see a big mess of boxes, cartons and shit, then I see two big guys carrying a what had to be the biggest box I've ever seen into my house.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck are you?" I ask in shock, what the hell are doing two strangers bringing things into my house? They stop to look at me alarmed.

"EDWARD!" Alice's chirpy voice on my back makes me jump.

"Alice?" I asked wide eyed "What the hell is going on? What's all this?" I ask gesturing around.

"It's for Marie and Andrew's room!" She announces "I told you I'd come on Monday remember?"

"Oh, yeah… I just, it's not even 8 yet! Why the hell are you even up at this time? You should be resting, you are pregnant Alice."

"That's what I said." Jasper suddenly pipes in, coming into the house with another box.

"Jasper?"

"Hey dude, I'm sorry, I tried to refrain her as long as I could but she threatened me to cockblock me for a month." He smiles sweetly at me. Fucker.

"Fuck dude! I seriously didn't need to know that." I said shaking my head trying to erase thoughts of Jasper with my little sister.

"Sweetie, Adam is here." Esme says coming from the kitchen and closing her phone "Hey baby." Mom kisses my cheek and I stare at her incredulously "Did you sleep well? I made you breakfast" She smiled at me and I just stare at them all wide eyed.

"How long have you been in here and who the fuck else is here?" I asked a little annoyed at the little assault. How did I miss the ruckus that had been going on downstairs?

"We just got here, we knocked but you must have been in the shower." Mom said messing with my still wet hair.

Hey! No one touches the hair!

"Ok… well," I step back from mom "then I guess I'll better go, I wouldn't want to be in your way." I said sarcastically.

"Uh-uh!" Mom stopped me "Breakfast first, and then you can go to save the world." Mom said happily and I rolled my eyes but followed her to the kitchen, Jasper followed us, I guess he smelled mom's chocolate chip pancakes all the way to the door too.

I just ate half of what mom gave me, I still wasn't used to having breakfast, but I'm getting there. Jasper on the other hand helped himself twice.

"So, you not working today?" I asked.

"No, I have to babysit Mrs. Me-against-the-world over there." He said pointing to Alice, who was talking to his assistant, Adam and giving orders at the same time to the working men.

"Good luck." I laughed.

"It's ok, she has been whinny for days, at least she is more like her old self like this." He smiled lovingly at her.

"True. So, how's work?"

"Great! Actually we just got a deal with Disney we are animating a short film with them."

"Wow, that's pretty awesome. When do you start?" I said really surprised.

"Next month, they are still making some changes on the script and storyline."

"Good luck, this is a great opportunity."

"I know, I'm really excited… I think it had to do with the fact that it's Disney and Alice is pregnant." He smiled shyly. "I can't wait for Camille to be born but at the same time I'm so afraid." He said quietly.

"Well, at least you still have 6 months to prepare for that, unlike me."

"I guess so." He chuckled "any advice _daddy_?" He asked playfully but I took the question seriously.

…

…

"I don't have any advice at how to be a good dad I don't think I am one yet. The only thing I can tell you is to make the most of it. Don't waste any second you have with her and spend every minute you can with her." I told him sincerely. "You don't want to miss anything."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

…

…

…

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Well, I think we came with an understatement. We are going to try and communicate better… it's not easy but we'll try, we'll get there and… we are not going to let our issues with each other harm the kids."

"Good, but… how do you feel about it? How do you feel about this… ehm situation? I know you tried to be strong last Sunday… but, how do you really feel?"

…

…

"Honestly, I was confused, _torn_ the whole week but I think I finally sorted some stuff out. My head was still a mess, so after a lot of thinking I realized that I already lost enough time with them, I don't want to waste any more and fighting with her won't help me, that's why I try on not to think too much about it and to put it aside for now, its hard and of course it hurts but… I… _we _have suffered enough, but like you all said, _enough is enough_, we need to move forward."

He nodded.

"Sorry man, it's just… it's hard to understand, that you can just put it aside like that, what she did was wrong… If Alice had done something like that… I'd feel lik-"

"I know… and I too felt like that at first… Sometimes it _is_ hard not to be mad, especially when I see pictures of them as babies or when you and Alice share news about the pregnancy, I know it's hard to understand but, I just want to move forward… I don't want to dwell on the past I don't want to lose time."

"Yes Edward, but you both still need to talk about it, about that day. I'm sorry but I think you are just being a coward avoiding it."

"I know, and we will… and it's not being a coward, it's just that now I think we need to establish and get used to this situation first. She barely talks to me about herself, she avoids me, and I think it's too soon. I want us to get used to be around each other again, I don't want us to make us even more awkward around each other. God, I only found her again not even 3 weeks ago and only saw her a couple of times with the kids around. We haven't really had the time, I don't want to pressure her, I want to win her trust back." He lifted his head abruptly.

"Win her trust back?"

I nodded.

…

"Fuck, you want her back."

"Yes," He was going to say something but I interrupted him before he could talk "I know it's a long shot… but, you saw me how I was all this time without her, you were there, I got a second chance, I wished for it and I got it… I'm not going to waste it. You told me once to prove her right, even if she wasn't here, to be the man she fell for, that if I had a chance, to make things right for her… remember?"

He groaned.

"Yes, I remember. Just be careful Edward… and talk to her about what happened. If you want her to trust you again you need to talk to her, be open with each other and talk about what happened. Ok, I agree it may be a little too soon but do it as soon as you think it's right. Don't wait too long it'll only get worse."

"I know that. Plus, other thing that's stopping me is that I don't really know what happened that fucking night." I groaned pulling at my hair "I was going to call you today by the way, I wanted to talk to you, after she left I self enclosed myself, I didn't want to know about anyone or anything and I wouldn't think it matter, I did what I did and nothing was going to change that. I have an idea of what happened by what Mom told me and by what I remember or guessed it happened. But you where there Jasper, I need you to help me fill the blind spots."

He nodded and sighed.

"God Edward… I wish I could help you but, it was _so_ weird, seriously, I was shocked when I saw Tanya that morning. I left you in the cab, I told the driver your address and _closed_ the door, you were alone… then I turned and went back inside. I seriously don't know what happened next."

"Fuck…" I pulled my hair. "When you went back inside, did you see her?"

"No, I didn't… Actually I never saw her again after the shots. Alice thinks she drugged you." I grimaced.

"I don't know… I did drink a lot, and I can't remember anything so I can't recall the symptoms, alcohol can make you have blackout too."

"Yeah… but still, for you to not remember _anything_? You didn't look drugged to me though, I could tell you really weren't there but I thought it was for the alcohol, you were talking fine, a little slurry but that's it… and clumsy. But we are talking about Tanya here, so Alice might be right."

I sighed, something was bugging me. Something was tugging at the back of my mind.

"Where is Kate now?" I asked suddenly. "Does she still lives in Toronto?"

"Kate? Yes, she still lives here… why?" He asked me skeptically.

"I need to talk to her, maybe she know something."

"Why would Kate know?"

"She is Tanya's sister…" I said in a obvious tone "she must know something."

"Alice talked to her at the time, she doesn't know… she doesn't even get along with Tanya."

"Yeah, but that was years ago. Maybe they made amends? I doubt it, but it's worth the try. I can't be kept in the dark anymore."

"Then… probably you should talk to _Tanya_." Jasper said carefully and I flinched.

"You can't she is in Vancouver, she went to rehab. _Again_. I don't know why Uncle Eleazar keeps trying… she's a lost cause." Alice said entering the kitchen.

"How do you know?" I asked in shock, did she saw her?

"Mom told me, she had lunch with Aunt Carmen last month. So even if you go to Vancouver, she is going to be no help… she has her head all fucked up right now and no one can't visit her, not even family."

"Shit, I guess my only option is Kate then."

* * *

><p>I stepped into the clinic a little after eight, coffee from Tim Hortons in hand. Heidi smiled at me and gave me my schedule for the day.<p>

"Good morning Dr. Cullen."

"Good morning Heidi, how's my day looking up?" She chuckled lightly.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you it seems pretty busy, I guess that with the weather change and the raining season the flu is flying everywhere."

"Yep," I said popping the p, I needed to call Bella and ask her if the twins got their shots already, I didn't want them to get sick "I expected that."

"Yes, I brought Giselle last Friday for her shot… but because you weren't here your dad did it instead."

"Yes, sorry… I went to Ottawa." I informed her with a small smile, I was sure she already knew. She smiled back at me.

"I know Dr. Cullen, and by the way… congratulations."

"Mom?"

"Yes, she is pretty excited." She laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Thank you Heidi." I said giving her the binder back "I hope your daughter is fine by the way, did she make a fuss with the shot?"

"You have no idea, we had to chase her through the whole clinic. She's either too fast for an 8 year old, or I'm too old." She added the last as an afterthought and I chuckled.

"Send in every patient a soon as they arrive."

"Will do."

I went into my office and sat on my desk, opened my briefcase and took the photos out. I took the one of them in the crib – same one as the one Bella had on her coffee table- and put it next to my favorite picture of us. The one I had thrown to the wall a few weeks ago. I had the frame replaced as it had shattered. I smiled to the picture of my angles, so cute. Yup, they have me wrapped around their little chubby fingers…

So what?

I'm a proud daddy, they are perfect.

I stood up and went to the coffee table in front of the couch and placed on it another picture of them sitting on their baby chairs laughing with food all over their cheeks, I love that one, it was too funny. I sat back on my desk and powered up my computer and logged into my Doctor's Journal account. After a few minutes there was a knock on my door.

"Come in."

Dad popped his head.

"Hello son, can I come in?"

"Sure, what's going on?"

"I just wanted to say hello, and ask how it went this morning." He said with mischievousness in his eyes while sitting in front of me.

"God, a warning would have been helpful." I said and he chuckled.

"I know, they spent all Sunday planning, designing and choosing fabrics and stuff, even Adam came to brunch."

"Good god." I said with a heavy sigh. "I can't imagine how the house looks now." He laughed again.

"How did it go? Did you show Bella the houses?"

"Yeah, she preferred High Park" I said smiling "but she still want to see them in person before choosing."

"That's smart of her. Is she coming? Is she bringing the kids?" He asked hopefully and I laughed.

"Yeah, she is coming on Friday, but please don't tell anyone… I think I wanna surprise mom at brunch."

"Oh, she'll be ecstatic! After berating you of course for not telling her so she could prepare something special, you know her."

"I know, and that's one of the reasons, I don't want to overwhelm them with too much fluff, presents from the ladies in our family and stuff. I'm not sure how Bella will take it I don't want her to feel less."

He stared at me for a second.

"That's a wise decision."

"I'm still going to tell her fifteen minutes before we get there I guess, I'm afraid that between her and Alice's squeals will leave my poor kids deaf… that and so they have time to calm themselves. I don't know what's with women and babies." I rolled my eyes.

"You are right, how long will she stay?"

"She has a meeting with her boss on Monday, after that we'll be seeing the houses, she leaves Tuesday morning."

"You have four days then, make the most of it."

"I know, I will." He smiled pleased with himself and scanned my desk, sensing something different, his eyes fell on the new addition.

"Where did you get this?" He asked in wonder, taking the picture.

"Bella, she gave me a box with hundreds of pictures… and some videos." I said smiling sadly.

"Oh, that was nice of her… I guess. Do you have more here?" He asked with glint in her eyes.

I pointed to the coffee table. He stood up, took it and stared at it for a while smiling to himself.

"I'm taking this one to my office." He said matter-of-factly and I laughed, thank god it was only a copy of the original. I guess I'll have to make another copy.

"Sure." I told him.

"By the way… Ms. Mallory started today she told me she met you?"

I cringed.

"Yeah… I met her at the OPA's convention, and ran into her this weekend."

"Yes, she told me about that. She gushed about how cute my grandkids were." He smiled proudly.

"Yeah, well… can you make sure she sticks to working with you? She seemed to have this idea that she would be working with me… and I don't think that will be the best idea."

"What happened?"

"Nothing for you to worry about. I just don't like her."

"Ok. I'll see what I can do." He eyes me weirdly "See you for lunch?"

"Sure."

And with that he was gone.

Luckily I only had to see Lauren at the lunch room when I had lunch with dad, but I mostly ignored her, and dad kept watching us while making conversation. The day ended and I went home to find a chaos in the living room. No one acknowledged me so I put on my gym clothes and called Emmet to go for a late run. He was more than ready to it.

I won this time.

I came back to my house, Mom and Alice were about to leave so I said good bye, thanked them and they told me they were going to be back tomorrow morning. I took a shower and before making dinner for myself I called Bella.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hi, it's Edward."

"Oh, hello."

"Hi, how are you?"

"Fine, thanks… you?"

"I'm good, thank you."

…

…

"Did you buy the plane tickets?" I asked her.

"Yes, we arrive at noon."

"Ok, I'll be there to pick you up."

"That's not necessary. We can hail a cab, I'm sure you'll be at work?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll be there."

"Ok, thanks."

…

…

"Where would you be staying?"

"Ehmm actually… I wanted to propose you something."

"What's that?"

"I think you should spend more time with the kids… alone. I mean, what about if they stay with you Saturday and Sunday night? So you don't have to come and go all weekend? What do you think? Is that alright?"

Huh? Me? Alone?

Me alone with them?

"But, what about you? Where would you be staying?"

"At a nearby hotel. It's just I think you should get to get to know each other more, without me interfering. What do you think?"

"Uhmm… but… me? Alone?" I asked trying to hide the slight fear in my voice.

"They don't bite you know?" She laughed lightly.

"Yeah, sorry it's just that I've never been with them on my own. But ok, it's ok… I can do it."

Prove her right. Win her trust, you can do it.

"Good, don't worry, I´ll make them a case with everything they need, pajamas and clean clothes. You'll be ok, they are good kids."

"I know, sorry I seemed scared for a second. This is new to me."

"I know, that's why I think you should do it."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

…

"Ok, now that's settled then… how was your day?" I asked, trying to make conversation. We needed to start talking again like we used to.

Win her back.

"My day?"

"Yeah. What did you do?"

"Well… uhm, I finished the novel I was editing when you came, make a few calls… and cleaned the house."

"That's good... do you have more work to do?"

"Not yet, Mike said he was going to send me the next manuscript tomorrow."

"So you are free for the rest of the night?"

"Not really, I need to wash Marie's sheets, and pick up Andrew's mess."

"She peed herself again?"

"Yeah… I tried to talk to her about it, but she just starts to cry. Its worrying me actually, I think there it's more to just a kid wetting his bed. When she calls me at night she is trembling but she won't tell me anything." She says worriedly.

I frowned.

"Why is she trembling? Is she scared or something?"

"That what I think, but when I ask her she just shakes her head. She won't tell me why, and when I ask her about it in the morning she would cry out of embarrassment, you have seen how she gets."

"Yeah, I'll try to talk to her on Friday."

"Thanks, maybe she will listen to you."

"I hope so, what about Andrew… what did he do today?"

She huffed.

"That kid is going to get me grays, I swear." She complained and I chuckled.

"Why? What did he do? Did he stain his clothes again?"

" HA! I wish! I took them to day care today. When I picked them up the principal called me in to her office. There in the corner was Andrew, he looked so scared, and he knew he was in trouble… Miss Varner was next to him. She looked really pissed so I asked what had happened. She turned around and showed me the back of her hair… or _lack of_."

"WHAT?"

"Yup, he cut his teacher's hair. He is grounded by the way."

"But, why? Where did he even get a pair of scissors?" I was stunned, how did he even came up with this? Isn't he three years old?

"From Miss Varner's desk. He said he wanted a Jack Sparrow's wig."

Oh God.

"Didn't the woman see him doing that? Why does she even have a pair of scissors within children's reach?"

"That's not the point Edward… The point is that he has been behaving like that for a while. First it was the Purrel incident, then putting glue to his classmate's chairs and now _this_. I don't know what's gotten into him, but it has to stop. He is almost four, he is still too young for this kind of pranks, and I don't even know where he gets them from!"

"You said you grounded him, right? How?"

"No TV for a month and no going to the park with Jane and Marie for the rest of the week, and I told him I was going to tell you. That may be the trick by the way, he has been a saint all day long, just coloring in his bedroom."

"Why?"

"He thinks highly of you, he is afraid of making you mad I guess…" My heart warmed, but the warmth was quickly replaced with pain. I do have to admonish him, he did wrong. I needed to take my role more seriously he could have hurt himself too with the scissors, or Miss Varner.

And I needed to win her trust back, be what she needed.

"Ok, I'll talk to him."

"Thanks. I'll go and get Marie first."

…

…

…

"Daddy?"

"Hi princess! How was your day? Tell me, I'm dying to know!"

"I went to day care! I played with Lily… she have a Rapunzel too!

After talking to Marie for twenty minutes, Bella called for Andrew…

"_Andrew, daddy's on the phone. He wants to talk to you."_

…

…

"_Andrew? What's wrong?"_

"_You told him?"_

"_Of course sweetie"_

"_But mommy!" he whined._

"_What you did was wrong Andrew, and dangerous. He wants to talk to you." Bella said firmly._

…

…

"Daddy?" He answered slowly.

I decided to start this lightly.

"Hi baby, how are you?"

"Fine."

"I'm glad to hear that. What did you do today?"

"Day care." He muttered.

"And what else?"

…

…

"Color."

"You didn't go to the park with Jane?"

"No."

"And why was that?" I knew why, I just wanted him to say it.

"Cause I'm grunded."

"You know why you are grounded?"

…

…

"Andrew?"

"Cause I'm bad." He whimpered "I'm sorry,-"

"Andrew?"

"Please no be angry at me, don't go… I'll be good. I'm so-" He continued to cry but I stopped him.

"Hey hold on sweetie… first of all I'm not going anywhere Ok? I'm here, I'm not going anywhere" Where the fuck did he even get that idea from? "And Andrew, you are _not_ a bad_ boy_, you just did a bad_ thing_, you understand the difference?"

"No."

I sighed.

"Are you happy you cut Miss Varner's hair?"

"No." he said quietly.

"Are you happy you made her mad?"

"No."

"See, you don't have bad feelings Andrew, you understand what you did was wrong right?"

"Yes."

"So you are a good boy, who just did a bad thing. I'm not angry at you… I'm just a little disappointed Ok? You shouldn't have done that. You understand? I don't like it when you do bad things."

"I'm sorry daddy, I prwomise won't do it again."

"I believe you, Ok? Now, tell me… how did you come up with this?"

"Can't say."

"Why not? You don't trust me?"

"YES I DO!"

"Then tell me, where did you get this idea from? The TV?"

"No."

"Then? From where?"

…

…

…

"James told me he did it once… to a girl he didn't like."

"Who's James?"

"Jane's boyfrwiend."

"Did he tell you to do it?"

"No, he just told me stuff he used to do when he little."

"Andrew, I don't want you to do any of those things he tells you Ok?" I said getting angry, not at Andrew of course. "You are a smart kid you know what's good and what's bad right?" I said in a firm voice.

"Yes, I'm sorry daddy."

"Ok, I forgive you, but don't do it again Ok? I don't like it when you do bad things like that."

"Ok."

"I love you sweetie, I always do no matter what you do Ok? Or if I get angry at you, I'll still love you keep that in mind."

"I love you too daddy, I'm sorry." He cried.

"Shh… is ok, I'm glad you know you did wrong and won't do it again. Now, listen to mommy from now on ok? You are still grounded."

"Yes daddy."

"Ok, is she around? Can I talk to her?"

"Yes, bye daddy. I love you. Sorry."

"I love you more baby."

…

"_Mommy, daddy wants to talk to you."_

"_Thanks sweetie, now go to your room I'll be there in a minute."_

"Edward?"

"Hey, did you listen?"

"Yeah, I fucking knew it! I hate that boy I have warned Jane many times I didn't want him around when she takes the kids to the park."

"How old is he?"

"Seventeen, but he looks older. That's why Jane likes him, I think."

"Ok, I don't want him anymore around them. If you have to change nannies then do it."

"Yes, but I'll talk to Jane first."

Jeez, who the fuck he think he is? Corrupting my son… fucker.

…

"Thanks for talking to him, he wouldn't tell me anything. I appreciate it."

"It's ok, that's why I'm here for… to help you."

…

"Ehm thanks anyways, for everything." She said awkwardly.

"It's nothing." I said.

…

…

"So, I'll better go. I'll call tomorrow Ok?" I said after the awkward silence.

"Yeah, ehm ok, bye…" She stammered and hesitated a second.

…

…

"Bye." She said again.

"Bye." I said softly and the line went dead.

"I love you." I said softly to no one.

* * *

><p>It's Wednesday… One more day. I told myself. One more day and they'll be here. I left early from work, as soon as I was done with my last appointment and head to the groceries store. I guess if they were going to spend a few days with me I needed to have food in my fridge. Edible food, at least for kids… I don't think frozen pizza and precooked meals where a good idea. So that's how I found myself alone in an aisle at Whole Foods with no clue of what to get. I started to scan the shelves, but… I wasn't sure what to get. I guess this is what Bella meant when she said I needed to know them better, I didn't even know if they where allergic to something.<p>

Shit.

What do I do?

Cheerios with honey or apples? Do they even like cheerios? Do I get strawberry jelly or blueberry jelly? What about chicken? Do they like beef? I know Marie likes mash potatoes and Andrew likes French fries so I took two of those… but that's it!

Fuck, I'm screwed and they are not with me yet. I needed help. I have no clue what kids eat… and I'm a fucking pediatrician.

I grabbed my phone and called Bella. I could have called mom but… Bella knew them, and if I was being honest… I just wanted an excuse to talk to her.

"Hello?" She answered after a few rings.

"Hey, it's Edward."

"Oh, hi… sorry, the kids are not here yet. They are at Jane's."

"Oh it's ok, I'll call later but that wasn't the reason I was calling."

"What then?"

"I'm at Whole Foods."

…

"So?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could help me… ehm see… They'll be spending the weekend with me, and I… I'm not sure going to restaurants three times a day would be a good idea. So I thought getting some stuff for them was a good idea… bu-"

"You want to know what they like?" She asked.

"Uhm, basically."

She chuckled, and I smiled embarrassed to myself.

"Well, this is a tough one. For being twins they are totally opposite. What aisle are you?"

"Cereals."

"Ok, Marie likes Rice Krispies and Andrew likes Corn Pops."

I laughed.

"Ok, what else?"

"Marie likes Strawberry milk – because it's pink – and Andrew like's Chocolate milk, but I warn you, don't give him too much sugar at night, you'll regret it."

"Ok" I laughed "What else."

"For breakfast Marie likes pancakes or Jelly sandwiches and Andrew likes waffles or Peanut butter sandwiches."

"What about a regular peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"

"Nope, don't even try it."

Ok, weird kids.

I guess they took that after me too.

"Are they allergic to something?"

"No, they are not."

"Good."

I spent the rest of the hour with Bella on the phone, she guided me though the whole shopping trip. She was really helpful by the time we were done the kids had arrived home so I talked to them too. Once home, I took the bags out of my car and put everything away in the kitchen. Once I was done I headed upstairs to see how the kids' room was doing, I haven't seen it. Alice told me it was almost done, just some last details, it would be done by tomorrow.

I couldn't wait.

I was so fucking nervous about having them for a whole weekend by my own but at the same time I was so excited. I was going to get some quality time with them for the first time. I was going to tuck them in bed at night, get them ready in the morning, have breakfast with them, watch cartoons with them, play with them in their room. All the things I hadn't been able to do. I had no idea on how to do it but I didn't want to miss the opportunity by chickening out. I needed to do this.

I wanted to do it.

I walked into the second floor and headed to the guest room, that now I would call my angel's room. I smiled at that, it warmed my heart to know I wouldn't be as lonely anymore, I stopped in front of the door and opened it, took a step and…

What the fuck?

…

…

…

I looked around amazed by what was in front of me. The room was divided in two by two different colors, a light blue and a light green. Marie's side was obviously the green one, it had a matrimonial sized bed, with a white base and headboard, the comforter was white with figures in different shades of pink, purple and green, at the top a pink curtain fell to the sides of the bed, princess style. Dozens of cushions and pillows from the same color at the head of the bed, it was gorgeous… next to the bed, down the big window which was adorned with curtains in the same pink as the one from the bed, a wide bench had been constructed. It had more pillows and fluffy stuff… it was too cute. On the floor next to the bed was a wide pink mat, a pair of pink slippers on it. It was perfect for Marie.

I turned to Andrew's side and laughed in spite of myself. A ship… a ship framed bed in the middle of his side. I had to admit it was cool, but was Alice crazy? The kid could pass his obsession in a matter of days, what would we do then? Well, I guess she'll use it as an excuse to re-decorate it again. Next to his bed a huge treasure's chest held tons of toys, a net fell from the bottom of the bed and on the other side of the bed a large counter top held more toys and stuff. I knew he would be crazy when he saw it.

The room was perfect for them. I didn't know what the hell Alice thought it still needed. I couldn't wait for Friday I sniffed and cleared a tear that fell from my left eye. I missed them, I needed to have them here with me, I could picture them here, playing smiling… happy. With me.

I couldn't wait for Friday. My angels where coming home.

* * *

><p>I was in my office, it was Thursday at noon and I only had one more patient for the day, but I still had an hour before she arrived. So I took the opportunity, I grabbed the phone and looked into my phonebook, when I found the number I wanted I took a deep breath to calm myself and dialed it.<p>

…

…

…

"Hello?" She answered.

Fuck.

…

"Hello?" She said again when I didn't say anything.

I cleared my throat.

"Kate?"

"Yes, who's this?"

"It's Edward."

"Edward Cullen?" She asked in surprise.

"Yes."

…

…

"Edward? Is something wrong? Are Carlisle and Esme Ok?" She asked worriedly, and I couldn't blame her. I haven't talked to her in years.

"No, no… don't worry they are fine. Nothing is wrong. I didn't call for that."

"Oh, sorry… It's just, I didn't expect to hear from you."

"Yeah, sorry… It's just, I need to talk to you."

…

…

"Ok," She said warily "what do you want to talk about?" She asked out of politeness but I knew she knew the reason of my call.

"Do you think we can meet? Is not something I'd like to discuss over the phone."

"Sure, but… I'm not in Toronto right now. I'm in Montreal but I come back on Tuesday, we can meet then?"

"Sounds good."

"Ok, at what time?"

"Could we meet at one in the afternoon? You pick the place."

"Ok, why don't you come to my office? There's a coffee shop across the street." She said.

"Perfect… uhm, thanks. See you then."

"Bye Edward."

I hung up and let out a long sigh while pulling at my hair. Fuck, I couldn't hide anymore, I couldn't continue in the dark. Kate was my last hope at knowing about that night. Suddenly my door burst open and I jumped in my seat turning abruptly at the door. My heart skipping a beat.

"HEY GINGER!" Alice greeted me loudly with a big smile, mom and Adam following her into my office.

"Jeez Alice! Have you ever heard about knocking? You almost gave me a heart attack!"

"We have a question for you." She said ignoring me and sitting heavily in the seat in front of me. I groaned, I wasn't in the mood.

"I have a patient coming in about an hour. This better be quick."

"Jeez! This is for your benefit too you know? It's _your_ kid's room."

"Sorry, I'm just a little moody today."

"Well, that's not news." She said teasingly and I rolled my eyes.

"Have you seen the room?" Mom asked then and I smiled widely.

"Yes, it's amazing thank you." I said sincerely and mom beamed.

"Mom and I want to ask you something…" Alice said cutting the crap "it's vital and we can't decide so we thought you could choose for us. I think _my_ idea is the best one ever! but mom put her foot down. So… you pick, _my_ idea is better, awesome but whatever."

I laughed.

"So, what is this important and vital decision that puts Sophie's choice into shame?"

"Marie's tower."

"What?"

"Yeah, I want to make a tower –like Rapunzel's- with her balcony, but mom won't let me… she says it too dangerous but with my design there won't be a problem."

"I have a balcony?"

"No, I want to demolish her window and make a balcony there. But mom says it's too much, but I think Marie will_ love_ to have a balcony, like Rapunzel's."

Ok, she has definitely lost it.

"Well, thanks for letting me know about this" I said sarcastically "And letting _me_ make the final decision." Mom chuckled "Well, I don't know Alice… how long would it take?" I asked, even though I wasn't going to let her, she was crazy. Plus, the kids are coming tomorrow, there won't be enough time either way but I indulged her.

"About a week and a half. Maybe two, we can start it tomorrow, the sooner the better." She said excitedly.

"Alice" I said standing up. "I think mom is right, the room is perfect as it is."

"But, but…" She pouted and mom had a beaming satisfied face.

"Alice, I don't think so, decorating a room is one think but to demolish a wall for a balcony?"

"Awww Eddie! Come on! It would be fun!"

Is she crazy?

"Sorry, no Alice. Marie's just three years old, she doesn't need a balcony… or a tower. Now… I need to prepare for my next patient. I'll talk to you guys later."

"Ok." She said standing up feeling defeated. I opened the door for them and followed them to the reception, Alice turned to me again. She never gives up.

"Eddie, please… let me make the tower!" She pleaded.

"I don't think so Alice, as I said Marie is only three… I'm not sure if it's safe enough."

"But it is! I'll never put your child at risk! Please, please!" She said pouting "I'll show you the design, it's so cool, it's pink and the balcony will face the backyard so she'll still have privacy, and its pink and pretty and pink… and…and pink." She started whimpering.

Manipulative Alice and hormones was a bad mix. Trust me.

Shit.

…

"Aghh, I don't know Alice."

"Please Edward! Marie would be sooooo happy! She'll _loooove_ it! Trust me!" She begged clasping her hands together jumping up and down.

…

…

Fuck.

"I'll think about it."

"YES!" I rolled my eyes at her.

Fucking pixie.

"We better go back, we still need to go and pick Marie's chest." Mom said defeated.

"Oh yes I forgot! Adam! Call Susan, tell her we are on our way." Adam nodded and pulled out his phone, stepping away to make the call.

"Did you have lunch yet?" Mom asked.

"Nah, I guess I'll go to pick up something quick after this appointment. I don't have much to do today. I'll probably call Emmet to go to the gym or something."

"Do you want us to wait for you? We can have lunch together."

"No, don't worry about me… I'm fine, I'll ju-"

"DAAAADDDDYYYY!" A squealing sound made us all jump abruptly, my heart started to beat so fast I thought it was gonna give in.

I knew those squeals.

I turned around to see my pretty little angels run towards me.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I couldn't wait any longer, I had to bring them back! OH! and nana Esme and Alice were there! <strong>

**Pictures of the twins' room are on my profile. GO and SEE!**

**Please leave a review! They really motivate me to write as you can see ;)!**

**See you soon,**

**Saludos!**

**Tpec**


	14. Chapter 14: I won't give up

**Hello! **

**Ok, After this chapter we are having one or two more chapters and then a slight fast forward in time. **

**Again, thank you to my fuckawesome beta Cattinson for betaing this chapter on her vacation, thank you soooo much for taking the time!**

**Also, thanks to the girls on twitter for their awesome support!**

**All characters belong to SM, I only like to make their lives a little harder ;)!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 14: I Won't Give Up<p>

**"I Won't Give Up" - Jason Mraz**

When I look into your eyes  
>It's like watching the night sky<br>Or a beautiful sunrise  
>There's so much they hold<br>And just like them old stars  
>I see that you've come so far<br>To be right where you are  
>How old is your soul?<p>

I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<p>

And when you're needing your space  
>To do some navigating<br>I'll be here patiently waiting  
>To see what you find<p>

'Cause even the stars they burn  
>Some even fall to the earth<br>We've got a lot to learn  
>God knows we're worth it<br>No, I won't give up

Tears fell from my eyes at the sight of my babies running towards me. Somewhere at the back of my mind my mother's gasp registered, but I couldn't concentrate on her, I was only seeing and hearing them. Everything around me blurred, the world stopped spinning. Their faces, oh my god their faces, that was the only thing I could see… so alight and bright with wide smiles as I kneeled on the floor to receive them in my arms. There were no words to express the utter joy I was feeling, I hadn't expected this, I thought I wasn't going to see them until Friday at noon and they were here! My angels were here! OH MY GOD! I was beyond myself, my heart pumping so fast I thought it was going to come out, I have never felt happier. They crushed against my chest and suddenly I felt whole, I felt as if everything in the world was right for once. My angels were home, they were visiting me at work. What could be better than that? I hold them tight for a second, breathing them in as I kissed the top of their heads. I even forgot mom and Alice were here until I heard mom's soft whimpers and saw Alice from my peripheral vision put her left hand over her chest, too stunned to say anything, awed by the moment.

"Oh my god! What are you doing here?" I said and pulled away a little to see their little gorgeous faces.

"SURPRISE!" Andrew cheered throwing his arms up in the air and I laughed.

"Hi daddy!" Marie greeted me cheerfully throwing her arms around my neck again.

"Hi baby," I answered kissing the top of her head again, god I was so happy to have them here, I was still a little shocked "Oh my god, what are you doing here?" I asked again, I still couldn't believe they were here, they were here! Visiting me at work! My heart was fighting its way out of my chest, my emotions were everywhere, I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I was so happy. It was so overwhelming.

"Mommy had to come earlier so we came too!" Marie said then. I lifted my head to see a stunned Bella at the door. Afraid to come closer, her eyes to someone at my back and I realized she hadn't expect to see mom and Alice here. Honestly, I didn't know who was the most shocked from all of us.

"Hi." I said softly, making her come out of her shock enough to look at me, our eyes locked for an endless minute "Thank you" I mouthed, she seemed to relax slightly and nodded.

Andrew was curiously staring everywhere, a glint in his eyes from seeing where I worked, smiling as always. Marie was looking at me expectantly, both of them oblivious to who mom and Alice were, who were standing a few feet from me. Bella remained at the door, I needed to do something, mom and Alice were still too shocked to say or do anything but cry quietly, well… Alice wasn't exactly crying, by now she was jumping up and down in excitement, a big smile on her face, she too had tears in her stunned eyes while watching our little scene, her hands were clutched together over her heart but she couldn't say anything yet. Either she was giving us space or she was just too overwhelmed to say anything. I lifted my head turning to mom, and saw she was crying quietly, her left hand covering her mouth, her eyes wide… she was staring intently at Andrew. I know what she was thinking, she was thinking of my dead brother, same happened with dad the first time he saw him. I motioned mom to come closer with a nod of my head, I could tell she was nervous, she hesitated at first but tentatively stepped closer and both, Andrew and Marie turned to her, Marie stepped closer to me, shy all of the sudden.

"Andrew, Marie… I'll like you to meet someone pretty special." I said softly, looking at them in the eye to catch their attention. Marie's eyes turned swiftly to mom but she turned back to me and came closer, reclining on my chest, I wrapped an arm loosely around her little body.

"Who?" Andrew asked in a chirpy voice.

I lift my head to mom and motioned her to kneel down too. She did and smiled at them sweetly, her eyes red with tears. I turned back to them.

"This pretty woman here, do you know her?" I asked them, just to see if Marie would recognize her. Like she did with me but both shook their heads.

"This is Esme," Marie's eyes went big with recognition "this is my mom. She is your nana." I said and mom tried to control a whimper.

"Nana?" Andrew asked staring at her curiously.

"Yep, she is my mom. Mom, these are my babies, Andrew and Marie."

"Hi." Mom said waving softly at them.

They just stared at her for a moment, trying to get this new information into their heads, trying to make the connection with everything Bella had told them and associate it with this woman before them.

…

…

"My name is Esme too." Marie said shyly. "Mommy told me it's because of you."

"It is?" Mom asked in wonder at Marie's voice. It was so soft and sweet, like honey.

Marie nodded.

"She said it was because I'm pretty like you." That made mom's face go brighter though I didn't know how that was possible. Her smile was so beautiful I wanted to take picture.

"Well sweetie… you_ are_ very pretty. Just like your mommy too, you have her lovely skin and nose." Esme smiled and Marie chuckled lightly, a lovely blush covering her cheeks.

"I'm older." Andrew suddenly said making Marie roll her eyes. I chuckled lightly and mom put her full attention on him. Her eyes filled with tears again, she just stared at him for a few moments before she spoke again.

"Andrew?"

"Yes nana?" A tear fell from mom's face at that. She was so happy, so overwhelmed.

"Can I ask you for something?... To both of you?" Both nodded, mom sniffed and cleared the rest of her tears with the back of her hand "Would you give me a hug? Please?" Mom whimpered.

Slowly, both of them moved away from me, and before I knew it they had their little arms around mom. She hugged them back fiercely, her body shaking slightly but I saw she was trying to control it she didn't want to scare them. After the most beautiful minute ever, they pulled away and mom kissed their foreheads, Andrew lifted his hand and touched mom's cheek lightly, mom put her hand over his, holding it there and stare at his beautiful green eyes.

"Mommy was right, you're pretty." He said matter-of-factly and that made mom lift her head for a second towards the door and then turned to Andrew again.

"Thank you, you're beautiful too. _Both_ of you." Andrew smiled and stepped closer to mom, hugging her again which made mom cry again while hugging him back. Eyes shut to prevent too much tears to fall. Then Andrew pulled away and I was surprised to see that his eyes were glazed, as if he wanted to cry too. He smiled slightly and kissed her cheek making mom to hug him again, as if she couldn't have enough, as if she needed it.

Yep, he had her.

"Are you sick?" Marie asked softly and mom looked at her smiling curiously through her tears over Andrew's shoulder.

"No sweetie, why?"

"When mommy's sick she cries." Marie explained and I stiffened for a second I turned to Bella, she was still at the door, insecure about coming further and giving us space at the same time. I nodded to her to come closer, that it was ok. There was nothing to be afraid of, we were fine. We were going to make this work. She approached slowly but still remained too far for my liking, and I could do nothing more than stare at her. She was so beautiful I wanted to stare at her the whole day if possible. I missed her so much.

"Oh," Mom said "no sweetie, I'm not sick. These are happy tears." Mom smiled at her fondly while clearing her fresh tears with the back of her hand and Marie smiled shyly back.

"You happy?" Marie asked.

"Of course, I got to finally meet you, how could I not be happy?"

"I'm happy too." Marie said.

I was still looking at Bella when I heard a throat clearing and lifted my head to see Alice's expectant face.

"Oh, sorry. Andrew, Marie… there's someone else I'll like you to meet." I stood up taking Marie in my arms and mom did the same with Andrew in hers. "This is my sister Alice. She is your aunt."

"Hi!" Alice said smiling brightly, waving her hand lightly in front of them.

"Hi!" Andrew chirped smiling back – yeah, those two are gonna get along pretty well- Marie hid her face in my neck. Alice frowned.

"Marie?" I asked "Are you Ok?" She nodded against my neck "What's the matter? Are you scared?" She shook her head "Then, wouldn't you look at your auntie? She wants to meet my pretty little girl." I tried to sooth her caressing her back, she was always nervous about meeting new people. "I'm here, everything is fine." I kissed her hair. She slowly lifted her head and looked at Alice.

"Hello there!" Alice smiled soothingly at her.

"Hi." Marie said in a low voice.

"Wow, may I say your daddy was right. You are very pretty, and I love your dress! You like purple?" Alice tried to appease her with light questions.

"Thank you." Marie said blushing. I knew perfectly were she got that from. "Yes, s'my favorite color. Like Rapunzel." She said a little more confident.

"Oh! You're right! Rapunzel likes purple, what other colors do you like?" Alice continued she wanted Marie to feel comfortable around her.

"Mommy likes green, so I like green too." Marie said softly and we all turned to Bella.

…

"Hello," I said again "what happened?" I asked. What had brought this on? I mean, I was more than thrilled to have them here, but… why had she come earlier? Why didn't she call me to come and get them?

"Hi, uhm… sorry to come unannounced but… you weren't answering your phone." I frowned and padded my pants pocket searching my phone. It was empty.

"No, no it's Ok," perfect "don't apologize, I was just surprised. I'm sorry I think I forgot my phone at home." I explained.

Idiot.

She nodded and turned to mom and Alice.

"Hello." She said blushing a little.

"Hi." Alice said softly with a small smile but I could see a ting of sadness in her eyes.

She missed her friend and she didn't know what to do or what to make of Bella right know. I knew she had been dying to have her friend back all these years, but the circumstances now changed a lot of things, Bella was different, she went through a lot of things after all. She didn't know how Bella felt about her and the family and Alice didn't know how to approach her. In her eyes what Bella did was wrong, but as me she understood too, so she was kind of at lost. She didn't know if things could be the same. I hoped they will, Bella needed a friend, and they had been great friends, I hoped Bella wouldn't close herself to Alice too, and I hoped Alice could find a way to her too, mostly because I hoped if Bella could feel comfortable with my family again, she would eventually feel comfortable with me again. I hoped Alice could help me, god knew I needed all the help I could get. I didn't want to fuck it up all over again.

"It's nice to see you again dear." Mom said smiling encouragingly, she knew Bella was uncomfortable. "Thanks for the lovely surprise." Mom said honestly and hugged Andrew instinctively. I still didn't know how mom really felt about all this, she told me she was happy for me, but… did she feel as Rose had about the issues against what Bella did? Or did she _understand_ her like I did? Did she just not want to interfere as dad? No taking sides and just supporting? Happy that I was finally out of my misery? I knew she loved Bella as a daughter too, and she probably felt for her too like she felt for me all this years and just wanted us to be happy again. I think that was it, that would be just like mom. She was so compassionate and she could love with a passion beyond reason, no matter what. I'm not saying that Bella had flaws I'm just saying that she could forgive easily and do anything for anyone, as long as the people she loved wouldn't suffer and be happy. She was a mom.

"Yeah, uhm… it's nothing." Bella stammered.

"Why did you come earlier?" I asked again, part of me hoped it was because she wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see her, but I knew that was unlikely.

"My boss called this morning he has to go to New York on Saturday so he changed our meeting for tomorrow morning. It was a last minute thing, I tried to call you to let you know we were coming but… it went to voice mail."

"Oh, sorry about that. You could have called here I would have come to pick you up."

She shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"This is your hospital?" Andrew asked then and I turned to him.

"Yep, this is it."

"Can I look?"

"Well, well, well… look who's here!" I heard my dad's voice on my back and all of us turned.

"POPS!" Both cheered and Marie literally jumped from my arms to his.

"Hey there!" Dad chuckled. "What a delightful surprise! I thought they were coming tomorrow?" Dad asked looking at me.

"It really is! HEY, wait a minute! You knew they were coming this weekend? Why didn't you tell me?" Mom asked me then. Shit.

"Sorry, I wanted to surprise you but… I guess the joke was on me." I turned to Bella and smiled at her, she blushed slightly and looked down.

She blushed. I made her blush.

"Still! You should have warned me!" Mom said, getting my attention back "I would have done something special." She said sadly and now I felt bad.

Awesome.

Then, the front door opened and my one o'clock patient was here.

Fuck.

Heidi stepped around her desk quickly and asked Mrs. Wilde if she could wait a minute. I threw her a thankful look.

"Well, why don't I show you guys around?" Dad said to his grandkids, he understood I needed to talk to Bella alone.

"YES! PLEASE!" Andrew yelled and we all laughed, wow… he could give Alice a run of her money.

Mom and dad turned and went down the hallway with my kids in their arms Alice followed and started firing questions to both of them, about their likes and dislikes. When they rounded the corner I turned to Bella.

"So, your meeting was changed?" I asked a little disappointed I had hoped her motives had been others. Like mine last weekend.

"Yeah, tomorrow at nine in the morning. Sorry, I didn't know you wanted to surprise Esme, I never thought she would be here in the first place but I tried to call you and you never answered and the kids wanted to see you."

"Seriously, don't worry… She got surprised anyways. All of us I think."

"Yeah, that wasn't how I envisioned seeing Esme for the first time again… or Alice."

"Don't worry about them I'm sure they were happy to see you either way. So, what's the plan?"

"Ehmm… well, they haven't got anything to eat since this morning. I wanted to take them to lunch first but they wouldn't have that. I think I'll be taking them now."

"Now?"

"Yes."

…

"Ehmm do you think you could wait a little? I mean, my lunch break is after this appointment… I thought, I could come too?"

"Well… if you want I can leave them with you. I'm sure Esme or Alice can check on them for a half an hour? I can come and pick them up later."

"You don't want to come?" I asked trying my hardest damn not to show the pain this inflicted on me.

"No, it's not that… I-I have some… stuff to do."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Personal stuff." She said a little too quickly "Besides, I'm sure your family wants to spend time with them too. I don't want to be in their way, it'll be awkward."

"Bella, there's no need for that. Its fine, if you are not comfortable then they don't have to come."

"No, Edward…" she sighed "I saw Esme's face… I can't do that to her. I'll pick them up at three." She said with a tone of finality.

"Bella, come on… don't be stubborn, come with us. Marie and Andrew won't be at ease if you don't come."

"They have you. They trust you and I know you'll take care of them. I'll pick them up at three."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Well, I have my meeting at nine… I guess I'll bring them with me like last time."

I guessed that was the time when Alice saw her… I know she should know about that, but I guessed now wasn't the time for mentioning it. There were other matters at hand, and we didn't have much time.

"You know, Mom or Alice can watch them while you are at your meeting, so you don't have to worry about it. I'll be happy to do it myself but I have surgery with dad first thing in the morning."

"No, it's Ok. I don't want to bother them."

"Believe me, it won't be a problem at all. Let them help you, they'll be more than willing, I assure you."

"You really think so?" She asked skeptically.

"Yes, I'll ask them and let you know, but I'm positive it won't be a problem."

"Ok, thanks… that'll help a lot... Uhmm they are coming back," she said looking past me "I guess that's my cue to leave." She said stepping away from me and headed to them.

They were coming back from their little tour around the clinic. Marie was in Alice's arms now, and Andrew still was in mom's, both were sucking on a lollypop dad must have given to them. Marie's was purple of course, and Andrew had dad's stethoscope around his neck, I chuckled at that.

"Look mommy! I'm a doctor!" Andrew said lifting the chest piece in front of him.

"Wow, that's so cool honey!" Bella said in her mommy voice "Hey listen, can I talk to both of you for a sec?" Mom and Alice put them on the floor and they walked to Bella.

…

…

"Listen sweeties… I have to go to make some errands you'll stay with daddy for a few hours. He'll take you for lunch and I'll pick both of you up later. Is that Ok?"

"You not coming?" Marie asked, her eyes widening a little. Was she scared?

"No sweetie, I can't… but I promise I'll be back soon. You're going to be good to daddy right?" Both nodded and Bella smiled.

"Ok, but you be back soon right?" Andrew asked in concern, apart from Jane and day care I guessed they were never apart. It broke my heart, why couldn't Bella just stay? Yes, it would be awkward at first but… that was expected.

"Yes baby, as soon as I'm finished." Bella said, kissing both of his cheeks and then did the same with Marie. She stood up and faced my family.

"It was nice to see you all again. I guess… we'll be seeing us around?" She was so formal, so… distant. I hated it.

Esme stepped forward and hugged her, surprising Bella… and me if I was being honest. Mom whispered something on her cheek and Bella looked down, when she stepped back they held each other's gazes for a second and Bella's eyes glazed. Mom smiled and Bella smiled back little, then she turned to Alice and dad.

"Goodbye, see you later." She said softly.

"Bye Bella, thank you for this wonderful surprise, we're really grateful." Dad said and Bella nodded.

"It was nice to see you again Bella" Alice said "maybe we can have a coffee soon? You know? To talk?" Alice asked hopefully.

"Well…"

"Please Bella… It's Ok, I wanna help."

…

…

"Ok, I'd love to. Just, not this weekend, next time I visit. I have a lot of things to do."

"Ok. Thanks." Alice said quietly.

"And congratulations… on your baby girl."

"Thanks, her name is Camille" Alice said caressing her womb lovingly. She lifted her head and smiled at Bella, Bella smiled back and turned to me motioning me to follow her to the door, mom and dad took the kids again and began to chatter lightly, distracting them from the painful scene.

"I'll be back at three." She said "Here," She handed me the big beige bag that contained Marie's oxygen mask. "I'm sure you know how to use it?" She asked and I nodded.

"She'll be fine."

"Ok, bye… see you in a couple of hours." She stepped away holding my gaze, her face was a mask but I still could see the pain in her eyes. I knew her she could never lie to me. I knew those pained eyes pretty well they had haunted me for years. They broke my soul every time as if it was the first, and the pain was always the same, if not it was even more. She took another step back, away from me… looked down and walked through the door.

I hated it, it was too much like that morning, and the pain was so intense I thought I was going to choke. She was leaving again. I hated this… she was walking away from me again. I couldn't stand it she was supposed to be here, by my side. We were supposed to be together, not like this. I don't know how to even call our situation. What were we? Just exes? That was too lame… she had been my fiancée, she _is_ my forever! I won't give up, I _can't_ give up!

"Could you watch them a moment?" I asked mom, but didn't wait to hear the answer as I went after, throwing the bag with Marie's mask on the couch next to the door. I run out of the clinic and headed to the direction she had gone. I spotted her instantly. She was walking on the side walk, hugging herself as if she was cold… or holding herself together, shoulders down, her back trembling. She was crying. I couldn't stand the sight she seemed so lost and afraid.

Fragile and vulnerable.

"Bella!" I called but she didn't hear me so I ran faster. As I ran towards her I thought briefly about how this resembled my nightmares pretty well. The only difference… this was real life. Which makes it worse.

"Bella!" I called again as I reached her, grabbing her elbow. She turned to me with wide watered eyes. I was right, she was crying. "Bella," I said her name again "What's wrong? Where are you going?" She recovered quickly.

"I told you, I have some stuff to do." She said, ignoring my first question, clearing her tears harshly with her hand.

"Don't lie to me. I _know_ you, why are you crying?"

"No you don't." She spat jerking her arm away from me, "and I'm not crying" her eyes changed, she was angry now.

"Yes I do! Now tell me the truth… is it really just because of my family? Why don't you want to come with us?"

"Because I don't want to Edward!"

"Why? We have been out for lunch with them before! What's different now?"

"Just forget it… I have to go." She turned to walk away again but I couldn't leave things like this, I grabbed her by the elbow again and turned her to me.

"No Bella, we promised we were going to communicate, remember? Why don't you wanna come with us?"

"Forget it Edward! I don't wanna talk about this!"

"Why don't you wanna come with us?"

"Because I don't want to!"

"WHY? Because of my family? They'll be fi-"

"I don't wanna be with you!"

…

…

…

"Bella… I-"

"I'm here because of _them_, I talk to you because of _them_… that doesn't mean I want to Edward… yes we have two kids together, and I did a bad thing and I feel guilty about it so I'm here with them, trying to do what's best for them for once and stopped to think about myself, but that doesn't change anything… you still did what you did, and I can't be around you without thinking about it. Besides… I don't want to confuse them either, they have been asking me questions about us since they met you, and I barely know what to say. I don't want them to get the wrong idea. We are not a family Edward."

…

…

…

I need a minute…

…

I need air…

…

…

…

"I-I'm sorry… I didn't know… I thought… I just… I just wanted to have a normal meal… with the people I love."

"Then go have it… I don't fit in that equation anyway. Don't know why you bother, you don't have to act, don't feel like you have to include me in your family gatherings… I'm not part of it anymore. The kids love you and you don't need me for that."

And with that she turned and walked away from me.

Again.

I stepped back into the clinic Alice was with the kids on the floor playing with the toys there. Thankfully their back was on me because I didn't know what my face looked like but it was enough to make my mom and Alice worry. Alice was quick in gathering the kids' attention and mom came to me.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Me."

What else? I was an idiot, I fucked up.

I started all this.

Mom was about to say something, but Marie turned and saw me so I quickly changed my face into a mask. I've been doing it all this years for my patients surely I could do it for them too. I didn't want them to see me like this, I needed to look and be strong for them. Even if my insides were shredding.

"Daddy!" She ran to me and I caught her in my arms bringing her up to my chest. I hugged her fiercely, I needed her. It was the only connection I had with her… and as far as things looked it'll probably be the only connection I'll ever have. I buried my face on her hair, her scent calming my scorching heart just a little. My kids brought me peace, light… and pain at the same time, but thankfully the peace and light they brought was enough to go through this day that until a few moments ago seemed to be the best ever, only to turn into a nightmare the next, but nothing would ever overshadow the immense pain I felt right now.

"_I don't wanna be with you!"_

Deep breaths

"_I'm not part of it anymore."_

"Dr. Cullen… do you want me to tell Mrs. Wilde to come back later?" Heidi interrupted softly bring me out of the painful memories.

"No, I'll be there in a sec. Mom, could you watch them for a few minutes?" I asked her "while I check on Laura?" I would have asked dad to replace me but I needed that half hour to recompose myself. The pain was still too much to bear.

"Of course dear, I wasn't planning on going anywhere. Whatever you need." She said and I turned to Heidi.

"I'll be there in a second." I confirmed.

"Ok, they are in examination room number 2."

"Thank you Heidi." I said and walked to where Andrew and Alice kept playing, Marie still in my arms. I kneeled down and put her on the floor while I remained on my hunches.

"Marie, Andrew… I have one more patient to attend. Would you be ok for a few minutes? Nana and Alice will be here if you need anything and after this we'll be going to lunch. Is that Ok?"

"Can I pick?" Andrew asked.

"Sure kiddo, whatever you and Marie want." I smiled at him.

I stood up and went into the hallway, I felt Alice following me.

"I'm fine." I told her.

"Don't give me that bullshit. You don't have to pretend, it's all over your face. What happened?" I turned to face her letting out a long breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Well… nothing that I didn't expect. She doesn't wanna be around me. That's why she didn't stay."

"I'm sorry Edward…" I shrugged.

"It's not your fault, and I can't blame her either."

"It'll be alright you'll see… things happen for a reason, what's meant to be will always find its way."

"Yes but… what happens when I can't find the way? She hates me… how can I change that?"

"Be yourself… she hates that man, the one who cheated… you are not him. You are not a cheater Edward, you made a mistake… I don't promise you two are going to be back together any time soon but I know she'll forgive you one day. Just be you, show her… it's not going to be easy but you can't give up. This is your last and only chance. I have faith in you."

"Thank you Alice, I needed to hear that."

"I'm here for you." She smiled.

"Thank you… So, what do you think?" I asked nodding towards them.

"OH! Edward! They are amazing!" Yep, she was jumping up and down again "and they look _just like you_! I can't believe I didn't see it when I saw Bella at the beach! You were right Andrew is so funny and witty! And Marie is the cutest thing EVER! She is so smart! And beautiful! Oh my god! PLEASE! Let me do the balcony!"

I groaned.

"Alice… not now please." I complained.

"Ok, sorry… I better let you go then, well discuss that latter. We'll be waiting for you here."

"Thanks, I'll hurry… it's just a check up."

Andrew wanted something sweet, so I took them to Café Crepe. It had been our favorite place to come, so I thought of introducing it to the kids. Maybe one day we could all come together.

As a family.

I won't give up, I knew it was going to be tough but I won't quit. Her words hurt but I couldn't let them waver on my resolve. I was going to be strong, at least Alice had faith in me and that meant something.

* * *

><p>After café crepe I took them for a quick walk around the block, they were so excited. Of course mom and Alice tagged along. Mom kept asking about what food and delights they liked and Alice kept asking them about hobbies and general likes and dislikes. I just listened to them, happy to hear their excited voices. I had been so alone for such a long time that their happy chat was like music to my ears.<p>

Marie was more at ease now that she was getting to know them better, and Alice couldn't be happier. She was afraid Marie wouldn't like her as she had been too quiet at first.

"So, Marie… who's your favorite princess?" Alice asked when we stepped back into the clinic.

"Rapunzel!" Marie said happily.

"OH! I love Rapunzel too… you know, I saw the movie last week."

"You did?"

"Yes, of course… it is so awesome but, you know what else is awesome?"

"What?"

"Her big, big tower, don't you think?"

"YES! It so pretty! It has a balcony!"

Fuck.

"Oh my god! You're right! Rapunzel _has _a balcony!"

"Alice…" I warned but she ignored me and took Marie from my arms.

"Yes! She sings there. I wanna sing on my own balcony too, but I don't have one." Marie pouted.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Way to help Alice.

"Aww, you don't have one?"

"Nop." Marie said popping the p and making mom chuckle.

"Do you want one?"

"Yes."

"Would it make you happy?"

Fucking Alice.

"Yes, very… I'd love to have a balcony like Rapunzel's"

"So you'd _love_ to have a balcony. How much would you _love_ it?"

"Soo much! I want to be a princess too!"

"Mhmmm, so you _want_ a balcony to be a princess…" she mussed "what could we do about that." Alice said smiling wickedly at me.

I took Marie from Alice's arms.

"Enough" I told Alice and then turned to Marie "You _are_ my princess. You don't need a balcony for that."

"I'm a princess?"

"Yes, of course you are a princess, you are my little pretty princess. Don't listen to Auntie Alice, she's crazy." Marie chuckled and Alice scowled at me.

"What do you have against my balcony?" Alice said angrily.

"I thought it was for Marie?"

She started whimpering then.

Fucking hormones.

I ignored her and entered into my office sitting on my desk with Marie on my lap, mom entered and put Andrew on the floor, he run to me and I sat him on my other leg next to Marie.

"I'll go and check on your dad, tell me when Bella comes to pick them up. Alice…" Mom motioned her to follow her which Alice did unwillingly.

"Where are we?" Andrew asked looking everywhere.

"This is my office." His eyes went wide and he started looking everywhere.

"It's pretty." He said.

"Thank you."

"Look! We are here!" He said in amazement then, holding the picture I had from them on my desk.

"Of course kiddo. I love that picture I have it here for every time I miss you, I only have to look at it."

"You miss us?"

"Of course, everyday." I told him and kissed the top of his head.

"I miss you too." He said softly.

"Oh! That's mommy's picture!" Marie cheered then grabbing my full attention.

"What?" I asked and saw her taking the picture of me and Bella, my favorite picture of us. The one Alice took us at thanksgiving four years ago.

"Mommy has this picture too." Marie said smiling back at me.

"What?" I asked again.

"Mommy has this picture too, it's in the drawer on her desk, I saw it once. That's how I knew you at the park."

"Mommy has this picture too?" I asked incredulous.

"Yes. It's very pretty."

Bella had that picture? Hidden in her desk? Why did she have it? What did it mean? When or how did she even get it? As far as I knew she left without anything from us, she didn't even come for her stuff. Why did Bella have our picture? I knew she loved that one too, she had printed a copy and put it on our living room, it was still there.

I tried to not let hope to come to me, but it was hard. She had our picture. Does that means she is not over me? At least not completely? Does that mean I still have a chance? Then, why did she say she didn't want to be with me? Why did she leave today? AGH! I wish I could just read her mind!

Was Bella really over me? Or did she keep the picture just because? I know it might seemed stupid to get over excited about it but I couldn't help myself… she had a picture of me too. Before I could ask Marie for more information, the phone rang.

"Yes Heidi?"

"Dr. Cullen, Bella is here."

"Thank you, we'll be out in a moment. Can you please tell mom? She's in dad's office." I said before hanging up.

"Mommy's here." I said standing up with both of them in my arms. God they were heavy, how Bella managed alone was beyond me.

Once in the reception I put them on the floor and the run to Bella, she received them with a big smile. She seemed better than when she left. Of course she had a couple of hours to compose herself.

"Hey sweeties, did you have fun?"

"Yes! Daddy took us to a walk through the _whole_ city!" Andrew exaggerated making me and mom laugh, who had rejoined us with dad and Alice.

"That's wonderful baby! Did you like it?"

"YES!"

"I'm glad you like it, now… say goodbye to daddy, we gotta go."

"What? Where? I don't wanna go yet." Marie said "I wanna stay with daddy."

"I wanna stay wiv daddy too." Andrew joined Marie's plea.

"Sorry babies… but daddy has to work."

"But mommy! We'll be good, we won't do noise! We promise!" Andrew continued.

"Daddy can't we stay?" Marie turned to me.

…

…

"Actually… I don't have any more appointments for the day… we can go for a walk, Heidi can call me if something comes up."

"YEY!" Andrew and Marie cheered and I smiled at their utter joy.

"Can we go and get an Ice Cream?" Andrew asked then, he had my sweet tooth.

"Sure kiddo, whatever you want."

* * *

><p>After Mom had enough of kissing and hugging them goodbye, we stepped out of the clinic and headed to a park nearby. Bella was quiet the whole way until we put Andrew and Marie on the floor and they ran to the swings.<p>

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"I wanted to spend more time with them."

"Then ask for it, I won't say no… but don't get me involved, I told you how I felt about this."

"I wanted to talk to you too."

"Then why didn't you just say so."

"Because you never want to."

"That's not true we talked about them last week."

"Exactly, about them… I wanted to talk about us, about what happened earlier."

…

…

…

"I'm sorry if I was harsh… but that's how I felt." She avoided my eyes and turned to them.

"I'm not looking for an apology, and I'm glad you told me how you felt… even if I don't like it, I prefer it."

"Why?" She asked still avoiding me.

"Because in order for this to work, we also have to talk about us. About what's bothering us… about how we feel."

She looked down.

…

…

"Bella, I didn't want to put you in a tough position or to make you uncomfortable but, I meant what I said… I just wanted to have a normal meal with…with you and them… you are their mother I don't want them to only be with one of us at the time. I don't want them to eventually feel like they have to chose, and Ido want _you_ there with us. It's not because I want to use you for them to like me like you said… I _want_ you there. I understand how this can confuse them but, we can talk to them, we have to do it at some point anyway." I just wanted to spend more time with her too, to show her, to find a way to win her trust back.

…

She looked away and took a long breathe, thinking about what to say back I guess. She turned to me but her eyes didn't meet mine.

…

"Yes… we need to talk to them about this soon, but Edward…" She lifted her gaze to me then, her brown eyes staring directly at mines "I can't be part of that… I can't be part of what you want, I can't be in the same room as you and pretend like its fine, because I'm not fine." Her eyes watered slightly "I'm tired of pretending all the time for them, it's hard enough to not think about what happened when you are not around and it's a million times worse when you are. I'm just protecting myself here, don't you see it…? I need to be strong for them. What you did… it still hurts no matter how long ago it was no matter what I do… it doesn't take away the pain. I trusted you and you stab me in the back."

"Bella… I swear to you," I was starting to cry now, my voice cracking "I never meant for that to happen, you know that, right? That wasn't me, you know me… I'm not a cheater. You have no idea how much I've hated myself for what I did to you, I never wanted to hurt you, I-"

"But you still did it," She interrupted "and no matter what you say or how much I try I'll never get rid of that image. God_, I saw you with her_… I'm sorry Edward, but we can't pretend to be that happy family that you want. It's not right."

"Bella… I'm so sorry. I don't have enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I tried to find you… to explain, I looked for you, I waited for you... I'm-" I tried to tell her again that I still loved her, that I never got over her but she interrupted me again.

"Saying sorry doesn't change anything Edward." She whimpered my name.

"What do you want me to say then? What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing, I don't want anything from you." She said taking a step back she looked down for a moment, getting herself together for her next words. After clearing her tears with the back of her hand she lifted her head surprising me with the determination I saw in her big brown eyes.

…

…

"I don't want you anymore."

* * *

><p><strong>One step forward two steps back... poor Eddie, at least he's trying! <strong>Ok, So I know some of you are going to hate me and some others are going to say FUCKING FINALLY! Depending on what team you are for making Bella lash out a little... I'm sorry, but it had to happen.<strong>**

**PLEASEEE leave a comment or review! I'm dying to know what you think!**

**Remember to follow me on twitter tpec1991 for sneak peeks or to ask questions!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	15. Chapter 15: Good To You

**Phew! Finally! **

**So, here it is! Thank you sooo much for your awesome reviews from last chapter! **

**Someone asked how many chapters are there going to be, my guess is about 30 - 35 so we are half way through. As I said on my last update, one more chapter and we'll be having a small fast forward, right now, it's the first week of September, after next chapter we'll jump to the middle of October. Someone also asked why Edward and Bella haven't talked yet... well, that talk is coming soon, its a special moment in a special time and also someone else said that it's taking too look for E and B to be back together, well let me remind you it has only been 3 weeks since E run into B, and they have only seen each other three times during this period, the first time at the park, second time when E went to visit and this is the third time, they can't hardly be back together after 3 weeks and I cant make the story go any faster because there are a few details that need to be told and E and B need to learn a few things first. A few people have asked for Tanya, she is in Vancouver right now, and there is a reason why Bella haven't asked for her... please be patient and have faith in me!**

**Special thank to my betta Cattinson and her awesome work and support!**

**Special thanks to Lisopera and her constant support on twitter! You are amazing!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 15: Good To You<p>

"**Good To You" – Marianas Trench Ft. Kate Voegle**

Everyone's around, no words are coming now.  
>And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound.<br>And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up.  
>And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.<p>

And now I do want you know I'll hold you up above everyone.  
>And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me,<br>And I'd be so good to you.  
>I would.<p>

Thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines.  
>Maybe it's me, maybe I only see, what I want.<br>Or I still have your letter, just got caught between  
>Someone I just invented, and who I really am<br>and who I've become.

It was Saturday afternoon when I parked outside the hotel. I spotted them immediately, as soon as they saw me Bella put her sunglasses on and the kids jumped from the bench. I stepped out from my car to greet them. As planned, Marie and Andrew were going to spend the weekend with me. I knew this was a good thing, me spending more time with them, getting to know them better but I couldn't help that feeling that told me something wasn't right, it shouldn't be like this. She was supposed to come too.

I shook those thoughts aside and leaned down to greet my kids, kissing the top of their heads. They were smiling at me, excited at the prospect of seeing where their daddy lived. I was sure they wanted to know me as much as I wanted to know them.

For the last couple of days, I've been trying not to think of her words at the park. Not because I was in denial of what she said but because the pain would be too much, and I know if I continued thinking about it, the small ray of hope that I had would vanish, and I couldn't lose that tiny bit if hope. It was the only thing that kept me sane, that kept me going, that I probably still had a chance, and I refused to let that chance go, no matter what small it was I had wished for it and now I had it, she was back and I wanted her back in my life. So I _tried_ to ignore her words, I couldn't let them bring me down, I had known since the beginning that this was going to be tough, I knew it was going to hurt, but knowing didn't make this easier. Of course after the park I had been gloomy all day, but Alice had set me straight, telling me to be strong, to suck it up and to not be a pussy for once.

Fucking pixie.

But she was right.

I stood up to greet her, I tried to see her beautiful eyes but those fucking sunglasses were blocking them from me.

"Hello." She said.

"Hi."

I stared at her for a moment, taking her in. She was so beautiful even if those Ray-bans blocked part of her face. I couldn't compare her with anyone else, she was the most precious thing in my world.

…

…

"At what time should I pick them up on Monday?" She asked then.

"Ehmm… can we take a walk before we go? Please? I need to ask you something." I could have asked her there and then but I took the opportunity to spend more time with her. I haven't talked to her or seen her since Thursday, yesterday it was mom who brought them to me at my lunch break as she had her meeting with her boss and mom took care of them the whole morning.

"Sure." She said and took the lead.

We walked to a playground near the hotel, when the kids were distracted on the swings I turned to her.

"I wanted to ask you a favor."

"What is it?" She asked tentatively.

…

…

"You're still leaving on Tuesday?"

"Yes, the plane leaves at ten… why?"

"Mom's birthday it's on Wednesday… I was wondering… would it be too much to ask if you could stay for a couple more days? We'll be having a small gathering at my parent's house, just us and… I wanted to bring them as a surprise, I know you said you didn't want to be part of my family gatherings but… it would be nice if you came too, it would be their first time at a family thing and... I'm sure mom would love to have you there… I would love for you to be there too."

She stared at the kids on the swings, I wish I could see her eyes… to read any emotion that was showing there but she still had her fucking sunglasses on.

"I don't really have anything to go back to… I guess we could stay so they can go to your parents' house, but I told you… you don't have to invite me to these things. I don't belong there."

"Bella, it's not out of politeness… and of course you belong there. You are their mother… it's a family gathering. It doesn't have to be like this."

"Edward" She sighed "Why do you keep insisting? I told you how I felt about it, of course _they_ can go… but_ I_ can't, it would be awkward to have me there, I haven't seen them in years, I have barely spoken to your mother and just had a few words with Alice a couple days ago. It would just be weird and why would anyone want me there? I haven't talked to them in years and I'm sure I'll be an inconvenience."

I guess telling her that I'll be there and that I wanted her there won't help me right know, especially after the last time we spoke. Alice told me she just needed time to adjust to everything that was happening… and I guess she was right. She must be a jumble of emotions, not knowing what to do or how to feel, that would only be natural. I was suddenly back in her life after four years, she felt guilty about keeping the kids from me and now she had to deal with me because of said kids, me… the man who betrayed her and hurt her in the worst way possible, she felt guilty for what she did but at the same time she was hurt and mad for what _I _did. Then, she accidently runs into my family at the clinic for the first time in years, the last time being the morning of our wedding when she had found out what I did, -that would surely bring bad memories back- she feared their reaction towards her for keeping the kids a secret.

To top everything else, I was making her move to another city. There were so many changes if it was hard on me I could only imagine how much harder it must be for her. Alice said her reaction was understandable and she was right, she probably got overwhelmed at everything that went down in the clinic and all the things happening, lashing out her feelings had to happen at some point.

I knew she needed time but that didn't mean I'd stop trying, of course not over hovering. She needed assurance, and even if I couldn't tell her now how I felt because I knew she wouldn't believe me or care because she doesn't trust me right now… I would try to find a way to show her. If she sees that I still care for her, that I'm here waiting for her, if she sees the man she fell for… maybe she'll believe me when I tell her and one day, hopefully she'll take me back.

I rubbed my chest, that pain that never really went away intensifying at the thought that she might never take me back.

"Bella, I'm sure they'll love to have you there… You won't be an inconvenience I swear, Mom and Alice were really happy to see you… and I'm sure everybody will be happy to see you again too, they love you. Bella… I know you are upset at me but it doesn't have to be like this, mom loves you as a daughter, you still are family even if you don't think so. If you change your mind… you're more than welcome to come. I want you there too… honestly." I said hopefully, even though I knew she wouldn't listen.

"Sorry Edward... but things are the way they are, I'm not part of your family anymore, besides… are you serious? How can you expect someone to go and have dinner with the person who cheated on her and his family? Be realistic… it's not right and I don't know how much more I can handle."

Ouch.

"How much more you can handle of what?"

"Nothing… just forget it. Thanks but I'm not coming." She said, lifting her sunglasses to the top of her head. I tried to read her eyes but they were void of any emotion.

…

"Ok, but… if you change your mind the offer still stands."

She nodded.

We stared at them for a while as we watched them interact with other kids. Andrew was always the leader, telling everyone what to do and what to say. I chuckled at his "pirate's accent" it was too funny. Marie was shy at first, but eventually she felt comfortable enough to play with them too. She said she was the princess of Andrew's ship. Andrew didn't like that very much.

"Daddy!" Marie called me then and I walked where she stood next to a slide.

"What's up pretty little girl?"

"Can I have one of those?" She asked pointing to a cotton candy stand.

"Of course princess, anything you want." I smiled at her and took her hand. Bella followed us with Andrew next to her.

Suddenly Marie took Bella's hand to join it with mine, she switched sides and took a hold of my other hand. Bella and I froze for a second, staring at our joined hands, electricity running from our joined hands all the way up to my left arm and into my heart, making it go crazy. The feeling was so incredible, old and new at the same time. Her skin was as soft and warm as I remembered, I had missed her warmth so much, she had always been able to calm me with a single touch, she had that much power over me. The feeling was so great I didn't want this moment to end, I had longed for her touch for years, it had been a long time since the last time we did this.

Then, Bella -who had been in kind of a daze too- pulled her hand abruptly. She turned to Andrew and put him on her hip. Marie frowned and looked down. I could see confusion in her pretty little face. Why had she done that? Did she notice something? Was this what Bella meant about them asking questions? What do they think about us? What do they make of all of this? Shit, we will have to talk to them soon.

* * *

><p>I parked my car at my garage. This was it Marie and Andrew were sitting in the back of my Volvo, staring everywhere. The whole ride from the hotel they had been asking questions about my house. If it was big, what color it was, if I had a dog, if I lived near nana, if I had a park nearby. It was kind of weird to have them with me on my own, weird in a wonderful way, it was new and it made me nervous as hell but I was so happy to bring them home with me. I would be able to do all things daddies do, I would be able to care for them, tuck them in at night, have breakfast with them, ask about their dreams of the night prior, do fun things with them, play with them… show them their room. I was pretty excited about that, Alice wanted to be here to see their faces but I told her I wanted us to be alone for that, it was so important to me to have that moment and I wanted to have them for my own for that. I told her she could stop by later to say hello and ask them herself if they liked it.<p>

They did.

Oh my god, their faces. After a quick tour around the house, I took them to their room. Andrew's face was priceless when he saw his bed shaped ship. He immediately jumped in it, and Marie ran to her new doll's castle.

"Is all this for me?" she had asked in shock when she stood in front of the castle full of dolls and sparkling things.

"Of course sweet girl, every princess must have her own castle." I smiled at her.

"Thank you." She had whimpered and I hugged her to me.

"You're welcome sweetie… I just want you to be happy when you are here."

"DAD! LOOK! I have a treasure's chest full of toys!" Andrew screamed excitedly.

"I know kiddo, aunt Alice picked that one up for you." I turned to him.

"IT'S SO COOL!" He screamed jumping up and down on his bed.

We remained in the room for an hour, going through all their new things. They were so happy at having their own place at my home, they felt part of it. It was their home too after all. They were the best thing in my life and I wanted to give them everything, I was so grateful for them. Of course I wanted them to learn the value of things, but after not being in their lives for so much time, I just wanted to make it up for the lost time. I wanted to give them everything I hadn't been able to, I wanted to wash them with toys and spoil them... they deserved it.

Alice and Mom came by before dinner, both of them cried when they saw the mess they already had on the floor in their room, toys everywhere, the three of us on the floor. They were ecstatic at my angels laughs and smiles over everything, they were so happy running through their house, exploring every room, –except Bella's studio of course- aisles and closets. Sometimes I'd play with them, others I'd just stare at them, memorizing their faces, their laughs filling my ears and warming my body. I was very much at peace with them around, they were my little angels.

For once, I didn't feel alone.

After a while we went to the kitchen, mom starting to make something light for dinner while the kids watched TV in the living room. Alice and I were at the breakfast table, I was facing the door to the living room, I didn't want them to be out of my sight.

"Are you bringing them to brunch tomorrow?" Alice asked.

"Yes." I smiled

"Is Bella coming?"

…

…

"I don't think so… I kind of had another fight with her today."

"Why?"

I didn't want to ruin the surprise to mom, so I half lied.

"About the same thing, about her coming to family things but… I knew she would say no, but I just want to reassure her that if she wanted to come, it would be fine. She thinks she won't be welcome or that it would be awkward."

"Why would she think that?" Mom asked aghast.

"Well, I don't know… that's what she says but I know she also doesn't want to be around me."

"I'm sorry Edward." Alice said "I told you, this is all new… give her time."

"I know Alice… it's just… this is hard for me too you know? I want her to come, I want to spend time with her too… fuck, I know all this is my fault and that she needs time but I get desperate at times, I just want us to be good again," I huffed "anyways… I don't wanna talk about that now… have you talked to Emmet? I haven't heard from him today. Did you tell him they are here?"

Mom and Alice grimaced, Alice looked away and mom's eyes suddenly watered.

…

…

…

"Didn't you talk to your dad today?" Mom asked.

"No, I didn't have appointments for today so I skipped. Why?"

"Well, they know they are here I talked to them but… didn't dad tell you?" Alice asked again.

"No."

"They got Emmet and Rosalie's tests today."

"Tests?" I asked.

"The fertility tests… They took them while you were in Ottawa last week."

I froze.

Shit.

By their faces this wasn't good news.

…

…

"Rose can't have children." Mom whimpered.

"What? Why?" I asked stunned, Rose was young and a healthy woman. That couldn't be, what was wrong with her?

"Asherman's Syndrome." Alice said quietly answering my unspoken question.

Fuck.

"What? How?"

"Your dad says it is because of the abortion she had a few years ago…" Oh right "when she fell while they were in New York."

"Oh god… shit… I feel like an asshole, I didn't even know they took the tests. Emmet mentioned them once but…"

"It's alright, you've had a lot in your plate lately." Mom said

"How is Rose?" I asked wincing slightly.

"She says she is fine… that she already knew it but you know her… she doesn't like to show weakness." Alice answered.

"What about Em?"

"He is devastated, for her… he knows how much Rose wanted this."Alice continued.

"Edward… is there hope? Is it reversible?" Mom asked "I didn't understand much when your dad explained."

I grimaced.

"Well, there is a new surgery to take off the adhesions in the uterus, as long as it's not too damaged… but even then it's not safe… only a few doctors do it in the U.S. as they can scar it even more and make matters worse. I wouldn't risk it… they can keep trying, it might never work but surgery won't remedy it either. She was almost 6 months pregnant… the fibrosis must had been pretty bad. I'm sorry."

Dammit… this must be killing Rose and Emmet, I felt so bad for them. I turned my gaze to my angels in the living room and send thanks to whoever was up there for sending them to me. I know what they must be feeling… now that I was a dad, and to have someone take them from me… that would definitely end me. They are my everything.

After dinner mom and Alice left, leaving me alone with Marie and Andrew. I closed the door and turned looking down to them. They were staring at me expectantly with smiles on their pretty little faces.

Ok… So, now what?

"Can we watch a movie?" Marie asked then.

"Ehmm..." Shit "I don't think I have any movies that are appropriate for you." Idiot, why didn't I think of that?

"I have Rapunzel with me!" Marie said excitedly and I laughed.

"Ok then, let's go to put your pjs on and then we can watch it." Maybe I'll finally know who the fuck Flynn Rider is.

"Can we have popcorn and juice?" Andrew asked.

"Sure kiddo."

* * *

><p><em>My head is a mess, its pounding so hard I can't tell what's going on around me. The air on my face makes me dizzier and suddenly that too sweet smell assaults my nostrils again. I hate it, it makes me gag, but I'm not too sure if it's because of the smell or the drinks I had. I'm so confused, I'm sweating and I feel my heart beating fast on my chest. Suddenly it's warm again, and the familiar smell of home hits me. I'm finally home, Bella… it smells like her. I hear a chuckle and somehow I'm moving again. I feel someone next to me, she pulls at my hand and wraps her arms around my neck, she hopes up circling my waist with her legs, pressing herself against me and I moan as she rubs herself against me. I pin her up against a wall, she continues to rub against me and pulls at my hair. It feels so good. My heart beats faster, it's getting hot in here. God what's going on? She continues to grind and my knees are weak, my mouth finds her neck and my hips starts to move forward.<em>

I woke up with a start.

What the hell was that? I shake my head trying to get my bearings. I'm in my room, and I take a moment to think while taking deep breaths. What's up with these late dreams? This one is a little clearer than the last… but it's still a all fuzzy… I know in this one I'm at home but… who am I with? Are we having sex? Or about to? I guess 4 years without sex is finally taking its toll on me. I shake my head and go to the bathroom -not giving it a second thought-, I splash my face with cold water and go back to bed. When I'm about to close my eyes I remember Marie and Andrew on their room. I smile to myself, feeling a wave of peace to have them so close to me and under my roof. Suddenly I feel the urge to go and check on them… call it a gut feeling but I needed to go and check on them to make sure they were fine.

I stood from the bed and walk into the hallway, I reach their room their door is ajar so I open it a little to take a peek. Andrew is splayed on his bed like a star, the sheet a mess between his legs and feet. He looks so cute with his mouth open, snoring lightly. Then I turn to Marie, her back is to me but… something is strange. She is in a fetus position, the covers around her, her arms tight around her and when I squint my eyes in the darkness and I can tell she is trembling. I step closer and hear a soft whimper.

"Marie?" I whisper worriedly.

She turns abruptly, letting out a small wail in pure fear, her eyes wide for a second until she realizes it me.

"Daddy?" She whimpers and I sit on the bed next to her.

"Marie? Oh my god sweetie, are you Ok? You are trembling baby." I said caressing her hair, she hides her head on the pillow.

"Marie?" I tug her little shoulder "Marie look at me. Baby what's wrong? You are making me worried." I say trying to hide the panic in my voice, what was wrong with her? is she having trouble breathing?

"I'm sorry." She cries into the pillow.

"Why are you apologizing for? What's wrong?" She doesn't answer me and I lift the covers to look for anything that can tell me what's wrong, and that's when I realize what's wrong.

"Oh, sweetie it's Ok… why didn't you come to me? It's Ok," I soothed caressing her back "there is nothing to be embarrassed of." I whisper taking her into my arms and hugging her tightly. She shivers while crying quietly and I stood up with her in my arms.

"I want mommy." She whimpers and my heart breaks.

"It's Ok sweetie, let's change your clothes… you are all wet." I said as I kiss her head.

I take her to my bathroom and I take her clothes off, then start the shower and tell her to get in. I give her a bath and when we are done, I take a towel and wrap it around her, making sure she won't get cold and sit her on the toilet.

"Wait here a second, I'll be right back." I say and go into my closet to grab one of my pajama shirts. Then I walk back into the bathroom and put it on her. I suppress a chuckle at the sight of her drowning in my shirt. After drying her hair with the towel I took her with me and bring her to my bed. She starts crying again.

"I'm sorry." She cries in my chest.

"Marie, sweetie look at me" I grab her chin "its Ok baby, I'm not mad."

"You sure?"

"Of course, why would I be? Marie, its normal for kids your age to wet their beds, honey… don't be afraid to tell me if it happens again. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, I love you… I won't be mad you hear me?"

She barely nods.

"Marie, what's wrong?"

She shakes her head.

"Marie, can I ask you a question sweetie?"

She nods.

"When it happens, are you awake or asleep?"

"Both."

"Were you awake now?" I ask and she starts crying again, I hold her tightly, rocking us back and forth to comfort her. "Honey, why didn't you call me?"

…

…

…

"Marie?"

"I was afraid."

"Where you afraid of me?" I ask incredulous.

"No. I don't like it when its dark… and I was scared."

"What were you afraid of?"

…

…

"Baby, if you were scared you should have called me, I'd have come for you. I'm your daddy, I'm here… there is nothing to be afraid of. I'll always come to protect you, you are safe with me."

"Promise?"

"I swear. Now, tell me… what were you afraid of?"

She didn't respond so I insisted.

"Marie, I'm your dad… I won't let anything happen to you, ever. You can trust me, don't you trust me?"

"Yes!"

"Then, tell me what's scaring you?" I hated seeing her like this, so distressed… upset, trembling… what was going on?

"Marie?"

"Vampires."

Ok? I would have thought she would say the typical monster under the bed but… Ok?

"Vampires? Vampires doesn't exist honey… where did you get that idea from?"

"James says he knows them… and that they eat little girls like me."

That fucking shithead excuse of a man again. I was going to rip his head off, I swear.

"Honey, that's not true… they don't exist, they are just part of scary tales."

"But James says he knows them… he says they kidnap little girls from their homes at night to eat them."

"Honey, James is just an immature stupid boy… don't listen to him, is this why you have been wetting your bed all along? Why didn't you tell mommy?"

"Because James says that if I tell anyone they'll be angry at me, and take me from home."

I'm so killing that boy.

"Marie, James was just messing with you… neither vampires or any other kinds of monsters exist, you are safe and I'm here to protect you from anything Ok? If you are scared again just call me, I'll be there for you." I said kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you daddy, I love you."

"I love you more princess." I kissed the top of her head.

Marie ended up falling asleep in my arms, at some point right before dawn Andrew had woken up and came to my bed too. The feeling of waking up with my angels next to me could not be described. Her faces looked so peaceful and innocent I couldn't tear my eyes from them. I continued to find pieces of Bella in them, and I was surprised to find out that Andrew talked in his sleep too. The only time I took my eyes away from them was to stare at the empty spot on her side and every time a knot would form in my throat.

She should be here.

It was times like this that desperation would take me over, would she ever forgive me? Alice had hope in me, more hope than I had in myself. Mom had faith in me too, she had told me that today.

Marie stirred next to me, and I knew they'll be up any minute now. They'll meet the rest of my family today, Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie would be there. I wondered how Rose and Emmet would take it with what they just learned. If I was being honest, we had all see it coming even if we hadn't acknowledge it… they had been trying for years to have a baby. I briefly wondered if they'll consider adoption.

"Daddy?" I heard a soft voice.

"Good morning kiddo." I lowered my gaze to find Andrew's sleepy eyes.

"Your bed's comfy." He said stretching and I chuckled making Marie stir as she was still against my chest, he sat down on the mattress and stretched his arms over his head, yawning at the same time, after rubbing his eyes he looked at something in my back.

"Is that you when little?" He asked pointing at the picture on my bedside table.

"Nope, that would be your uncle Andrew."

"He looks like you."

"I know… he was my twin, like you and Marie."

"You miss him?"

"Of course, he was my best friend."

"Are you sad?"

"Not anymore… you know why?" he shook his head.

"Because I know he is happy now, he is an angel and I know he watches over you and your sister when I can't."

"Mommy says that too. She says you named me after him."

"Yes, I guess I choose your name."

"Why didn't mommy stayed wiv us?"

…

…

"She… she had to stay the hotel."

"Why?" Marie asked then, I hadn't realized she was up.

Shit.

…

"Well," shit, shit "mommy and I have to talk to you later about a few things…" I said slowly "but don't worry about it now, just remember that I love you ok? And this will always be your home too, no matter what."

"You love mommy too?" Marie asked then.

"I do." I said softly.

With all my being.

* * *

><p>I could tell Marie and Andrew were getting nervous as we approached my parents house. Their eyes becoming wider and wider with every house we passed.<p>

"Nana and pops live here?" Marie asked

"Yep." I said popping the p.

"The houses are so big." She said in amazement.

"Do they have docks with ships?" Andrew asked making me laugh, he really lived his obsessions through.

"No buddy, sorry... but they have a pool."

"Can we use it?" He asked beaming in anticipation.

"Sure, anytime you want." I said as I parked outside their house, I could tell everyone was already here.

"Is this their house?"

"Yeah, you like it?" I asked turning in my seat towards them, Andrew's mouth was open in a small "o" in wonder and Marie's eyes were about to come out.

"It's really pretty." She whispered.

"Nana would like to hear that." I said as I stepped out of the car.

I took Marie in my arms as I knew she'll be more nervous, and she immediately hid her face in my neck, then I took Andrew's hand and walked to the entrance. The door was unlocked, and as my hands were full I didn't bother to knock. I heard voices in the living room so I headed there. I felt Marie's heart beat increase on my chest, I kissed the top of her head in reassurance.

"It's Ok angel."

"What if they don't like me? I'm not wearing my princess dress."

"Believe me they will, and you don't need a princess dress for people to like you, you are wonderful as it is. You trust me right?"

She nodded and reclined her head on my chest, no hiding completely.

I took the last steps to the living room and they were all so enclosed in their conversation they didn't see us at first, so I cleared my throat. They all turned at once.

"Hey there." I said smiling widely.

"My babies!" Esme cheered, and you would think she'll come to kiss her son first, but no, I was totally ignored as she got Andrew in her arms, making him chuckle and kissed Marie's cheek.

"Nanna! I can't breathe!" Andrew giggled.

"It's ok, I was going to eat you with big kisses anyway." Mom said in a funny voice.

The rest of my family walked to us, everyone had wide smiles on their faces, even Rosalie. When Marie saw Emmet, her eyes widened a little and she pressed herself against me more, hiding her face on my neck again.

"Oh my god Edward… they look just like you." Jasper said in amusement.

"Yeah, you literally crapped them." Emmet said earning a smack from Rose. "Owww! Babe!" He complained.

"Language!" She hissed and then turned to us with a sad smile, her eyes glazing a little but she remained composed. "Hi there" She said in a soft voice to Marie, who had her little fist clutched on my shirt. "And who is this beautiful girl over here? Why are you hiding? Are you scared sweetie?" Rose said in the sweetest voice I never thought I'll hear from her.

Marie shook her head with her face pressed against my neck and I laughed. She was so cute.

"Marie, Andrew… this is Aunt Rosalie, and this big goof over here is my brother Emmet. Marie… say hi baby, it's ok… I'm here princess."

"Hello!" Emmet said in a happy voice waving at them.

Marie turned slowly, taking a long look at Emmet.

…

…

…

"You are big." Marie said and Emmet laughed.

"_That_ I am!" He said making me roll my eyes, fucker. Seriously? He told that to Marie? I glared at him and thankfully Rose smacked him again. I turned to Jasper and Alice then.

"And this is Uncle Jasper… he is Aunt Alice's husband."

"Hi!" He smiled.

"Hi!" Andrew copied him and we all laughed.

"Well everyone, I'm sure you already now but… this are my precious babies, Marie and Andrew." I said proudly.

"I'm older!" Andrew said and Marie rolled her eyes.

The morning passed surprisingly well, mom as always outdid herself with pancakes, waffles, cakes and stuff. Of course the protagonists of the day were Andrew and Marie. Everyone hanged out of every word they said, especially Andrew as he was more talkative than Marie at first. Andrew told them how we had played the evening prior in their new room and Marie told them about my dilemma this morning when she had asked me to do her hair for brunch. She wanted ponytails but I gave up after the fourth try and ended up just putting a headband on her hair. They all laughed at that and I laughed with them. It felt so good to laugh freely.

By the end of the meal, Marie was so much at ease that she jumped from my lap to Rose's. Rose's smile lighted the whole room as she held Marie in her arms, from the corner of my eye I saw Emmet's sad smile and I could tell that behind his goofy's grin he was suffering as much as Rose. I wished there was something I could do.

"So, ginger smurf number one," Emmet said turning to Andrew "How have you liked Toronto so far?" Andrew smiled widely, his mouth and face full of chocolate ice cream of course.

"I like it very much, parks are bigger! Last time mommy took us to the beach. Daddy, I wanna go there again." He said turning to me.

"She also took us to her work." Marie piped in then from Rose's lap and Alice and I shared a glance.

"Yeah, but me don't like it there." Andrew said making a face.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't like mommy's boss. He screams like a girl."

"What?" Jasper and I asked at the same time.

"That was because you bit his hand." Marie giggled.

"WHAT?" Everybody asked turning to Andrew who just took another mouthful of ice cream unashamedly.

"Yep." He said popping the p and mom laughed.

Oh my god, no wonder why Bella said she was going to get grays soon, he bit her boss? Jeezus!

"Why did you do that?" I asked still incredulous.

"It was his fault!"

"How?" Dad asked in amusement, trying not to laugh.

"He was looking funny at mommy, no one looks funny at mommy. SHE IS A MOMMY!" He said by a way of explanation.

"What do you mean he was looking at her funny?" I asked worriedly.

"Like the one you have for mommy."

"What are you talking about? What funny look?" I asked and I heard Alice's snicker.

"Like the one uncls Jazz has for auntie Alice." He said then.

"I have a funny look?" Jasper asked then looking at him as if he had grown a second head.

"Yes! Everyone has a funny look! Especially mommies and daddies but only my daddy can have funny looks for mommy, so I bit his hand."

"Ok, I don't understand, what's a funny look?" Emmet asked exasperated but I think I had an idea of what Andrew was talking about, as everyone else I think.

"The one all husbands and wives have! You have one for Aunt Rose too!" He laughed.

…

…

That was the longest second of silence ever.

…

…

Then everybody started laughing.

"So what happened next?" Alice asked giggling.

"He screamed like a girl, mommy wanted me to apologize so I told him sorry but that he can't look funny at mommy, she's a mommy… that only daddy can look funny at her, he's daddy and she is a mommy!" He said throwing his arms in the air in exasperation "daddy is mommy's husband. He can only look funny at her."

Shit.

…

…

…

Awkward silence.

…

…

…

"And what did mommy do?" Alice asked as I couldn't find my voice, shit… they think we are married?

"She got angry, and told me I was grounded, but when we got home she laughed and didn't punish me." He smiled crossing his arms over his chest proudly.

"So you told _her boss_ to not look _funny_ at your mommy?" Jasper asked in amusement, yeah I know… my kid has no shame. I wasn't sure if he got that from Emmet or Andrew himself. I think he got it from Andrew, as Emmet is more of talking without thinking Andrew would just speak his mind.

"Yep." He said popping the p. "Only daddy can look funny at mommy." He said firmly.

I was so fucking proud.

* * *

><p>Later that night I called Bella to make plans for tomorrow as we had and appointment to see the houses. We had agreed on bringing the kids so I would pick her up at nine at her hotel. I told her about Marie's reveal about James scaring her, she had been furious. She swore she was going to have a word with that kid. Knowing her James would be shitting himself with just one look from Bella's glare. She was something when she was mad. We also talked about how and when we were going to have the talk with the kids, and we decided that tomorrow after house hunting we were going to explain to them as best as we could the situation.<p>

I wasn't looking forward to that.

So now, here we were… looking through our fourth and last option. I liked this one, a lot… it wasn't too big or too small, it was warm and cozy, perfect for the cold winters as it had a chimney in the living room, it was the closest to my house and it was simply beautiful. It had 4 rooms and 3 and a half bathrooms, a big backyard with a huge maple tree and a porch that went from the front of the house all the way around to the back, perfect for the hot summers. It was simply perfect.

"I think I like this one better." Bella said softly.

"Yeah, me too. I like the big backyard and I love the porch. I think it's perfect."

"Yes, it's not too big… and the neighborhood seems nice. Are you sure you can afford this one?" She asked.

"Don't worry about it."

"Ok."

"When was the last time maintenance was given?" Bella asked to the real estate agent.

"Well Mrs. Cullen, the roof had recen-"

"Miss Swan." Bella corrected politely.

"Oh, sorry... I thought… uhmm sorry, as I was saying Miss Swan," the agent corrected "maintenance was given recently for the sale. The roof was recently waterproofed, just in time for the raining season and the…"

I turned to the window, trying to hide my face by looking at the backyard, Marie and Andrew were there, exploring every inch of the house. I had thought that my first time buying a house for my family would be a whole different thing. Don't get me wrong, I was happy providing for them… but it hurt to know that I wouldn't be living here with them, that I wouldn't come here at nights after work to them. We weren't the Cullens… suddenly I didn't know where my home was anymore. If I had a choice it would be here with them but I know it wouldn't be like that… instead I'll be going to another house, alone… except for the times they stayed for the weekend. My chest burned at that, I rubbed at it unconsciously, trying to ease the pain in vain again.

"MOMMY! DADDY!" We heard Andrew call for us from the backyard.

"What's up kiddo." I said stepping out on the porch, Bella coming behind me.

"LOOK! A swing!" Andrew pointed to a tire swing hanging from the maple tree. "I like this house more!" He said jumping up and down making me laugh.

"You both like it?" I asked.

"Yes! It's so pretty! Can I have the room with the balcony?" Marie asked and I send a curse to Alice.

"No sweetie, that would be mommy's room." I said as that was the principal room, which faced the backyard.

"That's you and mommy's room?" Marie asked with little disappointment in her voice and not being able to have that room and Bella and I shared a look.

Fuck, I guess not better time that the present.

I threw Bella a look and she nodded understanding. She took a step forward and sat on the porch steps.

"Sweeties, could you come here for a second? Daddy and I need to talk to you."

I took a shaky step forward and sat next to Bella. Both of them run to stand before us. They looked at us expectantly. Bella opened her mouth to say something only to close it again, she was nervous too so I took her hand in mine in reassurance. We were in this together, and I was here for her too even if she liked it or not. It surprised me when she didn't take it back.

"Sweeties," Fuck, I took another breath "I'm sorry but… I… I-I'm won't be living here with you."

They stared at us wide eyed. As if not understanding what I said. Seconds passed and they still didn't say anything.

"Sweeties, daddy bought us this house… because he loves you both so so much that he wanted us to be near him, but… he will be living at his own house." Bella explained softly.

"Why?" Marie asked in a low whimper. "You don't wanna live with us?" She turned to me.

Shit, shit, shit… fucking pain.

I saw her big green eyes watering slowly and her chin started to quiver slightly. I wished someone to shot a bullet through my brains for causing her this distress. She should be happy, smiling her beautiful smile, not crying.

"It's not that honey, of course I'd love to live with you, I love you so much you are my pretty little girl remember? It's just that… you'll have your house with mommy and you'll have a house with me."

"Why can't we all live in the same house?" Marie insisted.

"Because daddy and I… we can't live together." Bella said in a hoarse voice.

"Why? You are mommy and daddy, mommies and daddies live together." Andrew cried then and I took him in my arms.

"I know sweetie, but… mommy and I are not… we are not together like the other mommies and daddies, but that doesn't mean we don't love you Ok? We just won't be living together but we love you just the same, if not even more." I said kissing his forehead.

"But… why? Don't you love mommy?" He asked me and I swear a thunder could have split me in two and it would have hurt less.

"Of course daddy and I love each other" Bella answered for me as my voice got caught in my throat "but… just not in that way, it's not the same… we care for each other but… but sometimes that is not enough."

"Why not?" Marie insisted "I love daddy and you, that's enough for me and I want us to live together!" Marie stomped her feet on the ground, she was mad now. If it wasn't for the circumstances I would have laughed.

"Sweetie, there are some things that you wouldn't understand right now… I know it doesn't seems fair and I'm sorry but I promise I'll always be here for you, and we'll be seeing us as much as we can, I love you and your brother with all my being I couldn't live without you. You'll always have me even if I won't be living here, I promise. You are my angels."

"But I want you here!" Andrew cried stubbornly, rivers falling down his cheeks "I want you to teach me play soccer and… and I want to play guitar with you, and color with you… and-and I promise I'll be good, please daddy! I won't make pranks anymore!" He bawled.

FUCK!

"Andrew, it's not that sweetie." I choked holding him tight against my shattered heart.

"THEN WHY? Why you don't wanna live with us?" He screamed.

"Andrew… calm down sweetie, it's not daddy's fault, I'm sorry baby… but there are a few things you wouldn't understand right now."

"What if I'm afraid at night?" Marie whimpered then "You promised you'll come if I was afraid."

FUCKITY FUCK FUCK! FUCKING SHIT! Someone _please_ stop the pain! I shut my eyes and pulled at my hair in distress.

"Sweetie, nothing is going to happen and I'll be here when daddy's not."

"But he won't be here… s'not the same" Marie sniffed "I want a family!" She cried.

"Marie, just because we don't live in the same house it doesn't mean we are a not a family." I explained to her "I don't live with nana and pops, but they are still my parents and they love me, and we are still a family. As long as we love each other, that's what a family is, people who love each other unconditionally, and you and Andrew are my world, you are my family and I'll always protect you. That's why I am getting you this house, so you can have a safe home and I can be close. You can call me at anytime you want and I'll be here as soon as I can. I promise."

"S'not the same." Andrew whimpered in my chest and I literally heard my heart crack in two.

* * *

><p>I stood in front of the big building and I could only stare at it as if it was going to swallow me full once I stepped a foot there. My head hurt like a motherfucker for all the crying from yesterday, I was in a bad mood and I felt exhausted and drained, I wish I could just hide and drown in my own pain but I had to do this. Only the memories of my angels pained faces were keeping me moving now. I needed to do this, for them, for Bella… for us. I looked at my watch, it was time. I took a deep breath and make myself move forward. I thought I would still have a few more minutes while going upstairs to her office but as soon as I stepped into the lobby she was there, waiting for me. She stood from the couch on the wall from the lobby and walked to me.<p>

"Hello Edward." She said politely but I could tell she was nervous too.

"Kate." I greeted her.

"It's been a long time… it's nice to see you again. You look good."

"You look good too. How are you?"

"I'm fine and thanks, but… I guess you are not here just for a catch up right?" I chuckled without humor, she had always been blunt like that "Shall we?" She said the last pointing to the street.

"After you." I said and I followed her to a Starbucks in front of her building, making our way through the big crowd at this hour at Yonge St. It was crazy. I ordered a black one and she had a tea, then we went to sit to a table at the far end of the local.

"So, how is everyone?" She asked, trying to start this lightly.

"Fine, thank you. Alice is doing great with her baby." I said, I didn't feel like sharing with her the dreadful news about Emmet and Rose. It wasn't my place.

"I'm glad to hear that but, how about you?"

…

…

Fuck this shit. The anxiety was killing me.

"Kate… that's the reason I called you. I need your help." I said, going straight to the point. The memory of Andrew and Marie's cries haunting me.

"Ok, what's going on? What can I do for you?" She said, her face serious now.

…

…

Shit, here we go. I was so nervous, I knew this talk could change everything, it could give me the answers I needed so much, the answers I was so afraid of… it could finally explain what happened that night. I took a long breath and squared my shoulders, looking directly into her eyes.

"Kate, I know after that day I didn't want to talk to anyone… so I never asked or clarified what happened. I know that was wrong but at the time I didn't see the point, she was gone and nothing was going to change what I did but now… things changed, Kate… I have run into Bella a few weeks ago."

"Oh god, how did it go?" She asked in surprise.

I chuckled without humor.

"Kate, I'm a dad" she gasped "when Bella left, she was pregnant with my… babies, she had twins."

"Oh god." Kate said and her eyes watered slightly.

"I know… so you see, I need to know what happened that night. I can't remember anything and I was hoping you knew something. I want to get my family back," I said, not even bothering to hide the desperation from my voice. "I want her back and my kids… god Kate, they mean everything to me, I know I did a horrible thing but…" My voice trailed off. "I just…"

"Wow, after all this years… you still love her that much?" she asked smiling sadly at me.

"I never stopped loving her Kate… Shit, I'm desperate… I need to get her back, I want my family and in order to achieve that, I need to clear things with Bella. I can't be kept in the dark anymore."

"Oh god Edward, I'm so sorry." She said, clearly mortified by her sister's actions.

"That's why I need you, I can't reach Tanya as she is in the rehab centre, and I know you never got along with her but I was hoping that that changed over the years and maybe… you knew something? You see why this is important to me right?"

"Of course Edward, and believe me… I wish I could do anything to help but… when mom and I confronted Tanya when we heard what happened she just went crazy. Mom was ashamed and didn't want to hear of her again, dad was broken, especially because of their relationship with your parents so he sent her to a rehab centre in Vancouver."

"I know that, but… did she said anything about how… how we… you know? Got together? Jasper says he sent me in a cab alone, and I can't for the life of me figure out how she got to my house."

She took a sip of her coffee, taking a moment to think.

…

…

"She said something about hopping in a cab with you… but that's it." She said.

I pulled at my hair in frustration.

"No, that can't be it… Jasper swears he got me there alone."

"Maybe she hopped up when Jasper left?" She guessed.

…

…

Yeah, that makes sense.

"I guess, that'll explain it." I said, but something started to bother me then, something at the back of my mind but I couldn't place it so I ignored it.

"That was the last time I _talked_ to her, screaming would be more likely" she said the last to herself "the rest I know from dad… I know after spending a few months in Vancouver she went to Ottawa, she liv-"

"Ottawa?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes, she lived there for a year I think, before going back to Vancouver. Why?"

"Bella has been in Ottawa all this time." I said with a feeling of dread, I hoped they never run into each other. I guess they never did… but how do I know? I'm sure Bella wouldn't tell me.

"Oh, well… she never told dad about running into her, so I think you are safe."

Relief washed over me.

"I hope so, what else do you know? What happened after that day? Eleazar just sent her away?" Kate made an uncomfortable face, like not knowing how to say what's next.

"Well…" she started to say but stopped for a moment to take a deep breath "about few months after the whole scandalous… Tanya had been in Vancouver for a while so Irina and I went to her apartment, to clean up and stuff… of course it was a mess, bottles of tequila and vodka everywhere and… shit…" her voice started to tremble "God, Edward I knew my sister was an alcoholic… I knew she had problems but I thought the drug thing was just once in a while, you know? I was never close to her, I hated her lifestyle and she never listened to me so we never talked, so I didn't know how bad it was but… Oh my god, you should have seen her place, everywhere we looked we would find bags after bags of cocaine…" She lifted he head and looked straight to my eyes "we started looking through her clothes… we found some pills inside a lipstick tube." She said softly.

Pills?

…

…

"What were they?" I asked quietly. Somehow my heart rate accelerated, as if knowing what was coming.

I think it knew.

"Ecstasy and Rohypnol."

Fuck.

…

…

"Edward… there might be a chance that she drugged you."

…

…

"Alice thinks the same." I admitted looking down.

"I'm sorry Edward but not holding your liquor doesn't sound like you and I don't see why she'll use Rohypnol on herself, so my guess is that she used it on other people… you know what that does right? You are a doctor."

I nodded.

"It makes you forget… and lose your will, rapists use it." I said covering my face with my hands. "And ecstasy… it can bring a knocked out horse back to life."

* * *

><p><strong>Damn... poor Edward, and poor Rose and Em too... So, what do you think? Bella, Marie and Andrew's house is on my profile! Go and see!<strong>

**PLEASE REVIEWW! I promise I'll have next chapter sooner, RL have just been crazy lately!**

**Don't forget to follow me on twitter at tpec1991 for teasers during the week!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec1991**


	16. Chapter 16: The One That Got Away

**Ok, first of all sorry about the delay but RL happened to my beta and she couldn't have this ready until today. Good news is that I'm on spring break, so that means looots of time for writing!**

**Thank you soo much to my beta Cattinson, don't worry honey! You are still amazing! thank you so much for your words and your help!**

**Thanks to Lisopera for her constant support and for pre-reading this chapter and calming my nerves!**

**DawnsWhimsy, I think I should give you a tissue warning for this one (as you requested on your review)**

**JRDurham, you probably don't want to read this at work ;)!**

**Thank you soo much for your patience! a lot happens in this once, so get yourselves comfortable and please read till the end!**

**See you at the bottom!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 16: The One That Got Away<strong>

"**The One That Got Away" – Boyce Avenue**

You were June and I was your Johnny Cash

Never one without the other we made a pact

Sometimes when I miss you

I put those records on (whoa)

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

Saw you downtown singing the Blues

It's time to face the music

I'm no longer your muse

…

All this money can't buy me a time machine (No)

I can't replace you with a million rings (No)

I shoulda told you what you meant to me (Whoa)

Cause now I pay the price

In another life

You would be my girl

We keep all our promises

Be us against the world

I was so mad.

So fucking mad.

My hands were trembling as I got into my office and shut the door with a loud bang. I had been so stupid, so naive. I was so mad, so fucking pissed… but surprisingly I wasn't mad at Tanya, well… I was but mostly I was mad at myself, for putting myself in that position in the first place, for going out the night before my wedding. Yeah, it seemed innocent at the time, just a guys night out to a bar for a couple of beers in my last night of "freedom" as they had called it, but why didn't I go home when I had wanted to? Why did I let myself to be convinced to stay? Why had I accepted that shot? Why did I even _talk_ to her? I knew how crazy she was, why did I let myself be manipulated in that way? Was I that weak? That _stupid_?!

"Fuck!" I yelled as I threw a vase to the wall… bad move that was, as it reminded me of that morning when I lost it and threw all the centerpieces everywhere.

A knock on the door brought me out of my mental ranting, making me more mad. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

I went to answer it anyways, as I had probably startled the whole clinic with the loud crash, it was dad.

"What do you want?" I spat, I know it wasn't his fault but I was so mad I didn't care.

"Edward, what's wrong?" He asked surprised at the tone of my voice. "We heard something crash?"

"I talked to Kate." I said turning abruptly to walk to my desk. He turned to Heidi who I hadn't noticed next to him when I opened the door.

"Heidi, could you have Dr. Stanley attend the rest of Edward's patients for the day? I believe he is in his office, and tell Miss Mallory to take my next patient too please?"

"Of course Dr. Cullen." Heidi said quietly, dad came into my office and closed the door.

"What did she say?" He said as he sat on the couch while I passed back and forth in front of my desk.

"What everybody knew but me, no… scratch that I _have_ known it too, the whole time… the whole _fucking_ time but I never accepted it. Fuck!" I shouted as I thought about it again, she had drugged me, I was sure of it. God, it made me angry as it made me feel so weak, so exposed… vulnerable.

"And what was that?" Dad said, wanting me to get it out, but I knew he knew what I was talking about.

"She said she _thinks_ I was drugged." I said laughing without humor, I knew I must look like a maniac now but I didn't care "She _thinks_ she drugged me." I said again laughing in hysterics "She found ecstasy and rohypnol in her shit!" I said in mock amusement and dad's eyes went wide.

"That's a dangerous mix." Dad said.

What the fuck? Is he serious?

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THAT! The point is, how I could even put myself in that situation in the first place!" I said throwing my hands in the air. "Fuck dad! I ruined everything! My kids think I don't want them, Bella hates me, and god only knows what they have been through all these years because of my stupid choices! Because I wouldn't just listen to myself for once and go home when I had wanted to, for letting me be influenced by everyone! I'm such an IDIOT! I knew it was a crazy idea when Emmet called, I knew something was going to happen as soon as I saw her at the bar! I knew something was off and I did nothing! That's why I lost everything… my life, my kids, Bella, because I did NOTHING! Because I didn't think for myself! What good does it make to have a 210 IQ level if I can't use my brain for my own good?! What the fuck is wrong with me!"

"Edward, calm dow-"

"Fuck that! I've been calm enough for years, doing nothing to get her back… I gave up on looking for her, stupidly waiting for her to come to me after what I did! I waited for her instead of going after her! Doing nothing but groveling in self-pity! How stupid of me! How stupid and foolish of me! No wonder she doesn't want me, I'm just an excuse of a man. Not standing up even for myself… GOD DAMMIT!" I said as I threw myself on the single couch next to dad and closed my eyes letting out a harsh sigh, feeling exhausted.

…

…

…

"Well… fucking finally." Dad said then, surprising the hell out of me. He never cursed. I opened my eyes to give him a questioning look and glaring at the same time. What does he mean?

"Well? What did you want me to say? To tell you everything is going to be Ok? That it wasn't your fault? To hate Tanya with you? You fucked up Edward, you had known it all along but as you said… you never did anything about it. Yes, you looked for her, and you hurt a lot, you punished yourself for years but that won't redeem you. God Edward, even after you found her what have you been doing apart from buying her a pretty house and getting her a credit card?"

…

…

"Edward, you are an adult, you are smart… I understand you and Bella need time, and I understand why you are afraid of telling her the truth about the past four years and about your feelings but it has to be done, for better or for worse… that needs to get out. You are drowning yourself in guilt and in the long run keeping things to yourself is going to hurt not only you and Bella but Marie and Andrew too."

"I know that, I know I must talk to her… It's just… the time is neve-"

"No, don't blame this to the time being, son… I'm sorry but you are just being a coward, don't blame the circumstances." He said firmly.

…

…

Fuck, I hated when he was right.

"Edward, think about it… what do you have to lose?"

"I don't wanna look like a martyr I don't want her to know about the poisoning or my self-enclosing days… I don't want to look weak I want to be strong for them."

"You are not weak Edward, you are a human who makes mistakes… and facing those mistakes won't make you look weak, it'll only make you stronger. As I told you before you went to Ottawa the first time, learn from them, speak up… you didn't want to take that drink and you did, you didn't want to stay and you did and now you are paying the consequences… You love her, you want her back? _Tell her_, don't be a coward."

…

…

…

I was sitting with my elbows on my knees, staring at the floor. A drop fell to my right hand and I realized I was crying.

…

…

…

"It's just… it pains me to know how they have suffered, and how they continue to suffer because of me. I'm afraid of fucking up again… what if I say the wrong things? I'm afraid of hurting them more… and it makes me mad that I'm responsible for this situation, If… if I had just made _one_ right choice… just one… going home, not taking the shot, or not even going out as I shouldn't have… I wouldn't be here… things would be so much different, I wouldn't be buying them a house for just them… we would have one together already, I wouldn't have to _guess_ Andrew's favorite color for getting him a soccer ball, or I wouldn't have to _guess_ Marie's favorite movies to get for her at my house…" I started sobbing then, having a breakdown in front of my dad "If I had been there she probably wouldn't have gone into early labor and Marie would be Ok… she would be healthy an-and able t-to play and take the ballet lessons she wants so bad s-so she can dance like a pr-princes… th-they wouldn't doubt my love for them."

"Edward… they know you love them… they are just confused. Your mom, when she looked after them on Saturday was amazed of how highly they speak of you and of all the things they told her about you. She says you are Andrew's hero and Marie's prince charming." He smiled sadly and I did too in spite of myself.

"Yes, but that's because of what Bella had told them… not because I have showed them. I haven't been there for them."

"You were there when Marie was scared that night she stayed with you, and you always calm her when she gets nervous. You talked to Andrew about not listening to that kid James, and you assured him he was a good boy and made sure he knew you were proud of him for it. You call them every night to wish them sweet dreams… you have been there for them, and they know it… they are just confused about all this changes and that's why you need to talk to Bella, both of you need to clear stuff up so you can present a united front for them. Even if you don't get back together… to show them you care for them and to give them reassurance and a feel of safety. They are kids, they are so sensitive they need to feel safe all the time… you know this, you are a pediatrician."

"Ok and how do I tell her without scaring her away?"

"You won't, Edward… you are so blind, read between the lines. Bella needs assurance as much as Marie and Andrew do. Even if she reacts badly at first, in the long run it will be for the best. She doesn't hate you this is hard on her too."

"How can you be so sure of that? Dad, I'm not that stupid… I cheated on her on our wedding day, she already had her fears because of what her mom did to Charlie and I made them real."

"This is different Edward, you didn't cheat on her willingly or abandoned her for another woman… make sure she believes that."

"That's what I've been trying to do. I told her that."

"Yes, but by the looks of it you are not doing a good job. You are still missing three important words."

"You make it sound so easy."

"I'm just telling you the truth, you really messed everything up… you did a really bad thing and it will take you a lot of hard work to be back on her good graces, as it should. Willingly or not, you still cheated and with Bella's history you could just have pulled the trigger yourself."

"Yes I know… Bella's mom was a taboo topic with her she was really traumatized by her mom leaving her and Charlie. She never really told me about that day, only that it had hurt a lot when she saw her mom leaving without even giving her a last glance."

"You see now what she tried to do, right?"

…

…

…

Of course I did, it was so obvious.

"She… she didn't want to feel left behind again... so she left instead." I said in a low voice.

"Exactly."

…

…

…

"But dad, I never wanted to leave her… I would have been there, even if she didn't want to see me I would have sought for her safety, I would have made sure she was alright."

"I know that, but Bella doesn't… she felt betrayed, she was hurt and she did what she thought she needed for her peace of mind. She thought she needed distance to heal, I'm not saying she was right by doing it, just trying to understand her…"

"Yes but, dad… she was _alone_, she didn't have any money or a job then, what if Charlie hadn't been able to help her when she was pregnant? Or what if she hadn't been able to get a job later? I would never forgive myself if something worse had happened… I feel dread just to thinking about Marie not making it and me not being there to do anything, to save her, I still can't believe she didn't come to me then, trusting any other doctor she could find."

Dad looked down then, an uncomfortable look on his face.

...

…

…

"Edward… there is something I must tell you." He said, his voice taking a dramatic change.

"What? Dad… are you Ok?" I asked as I saw his breath coming out shakily.

…

…

…

"You don't have to fear about that."

"What do you mean?"

…

…

…

He slowly brought his right hand to his pants back pocket retrieving his wallet. He opened it and took out something from the small opening behind his ID. He stared at it for a long moment. Then he stretched his shaking arm and gave me the piece of paper, when I looked at it I realized it wasn't just a piece of paper.

It was a picture.

An ultrasound picture.

…

…

…

With two babies.

For some reason my heart beat went faster than ever. Everything around me started to spin but the picture in front of me. It was so confusing, why was he giving me this? When my eyes landed on the ID at the right upper corner of the ultrasound, everything stopped at once. My heart beat, my breathing, every noise in the clinic… the world.

_09/23/08 14:23:08_

_Isabella M. Swan_

_16 weeks_

_Dr. Carlisle Cullen_

…

…

…

"You knew?" I heard myself say in a strangled voice, not taking my eyes away from the picture.

…

…

…

"A couple of months after Bella left… she called me. She asked me to not tell anyone and to please meet her in Ottawa. I got scared I thought something had happened to her so I took the next flight there, by that time you were already closed to us. You had stopped working, talking, eating and started drinking a little so I didn't tell you because if something had happened to Bella I was afraid you'll do something stupid. I got even more worried when she asked me to meet her in the hospital. When I got there… I was relieved to see her walking on her two feet but when she saw me she broke into a run and threw herself at me, sobbing… I was alarmed, she started to hyperventilate and the more I tried to sooth her the more she cried. It was when I got her to a seat nearby that I noticed her small belly."

…

…

…

"Edward?"

…

…

…

"Edward?" He said louder.

"You knew?" I asked again in that strange voice, not believing what I was hearing.

"She begged me not to tell you."

…

…

…

"YOU FUCKING KNEW?!" I asked, finally tearing my eyes from the picture when his words finally sank in and looked in his guilty blue eyes.

"Edward, calm d-"

"DON'T FUCKING ASK ME TO CALM DOWN!" I yelled standing up "You lied to me?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! FUCK! OH MY FUCKING GOD! You knew?!" I asked again in disbelieve, anger taking my body completely.

"YES I KNEW! Could you please calm down and listen for a second?!" He said standing up too.

"WHY?! Why should I listen to you?! Shit! You knew and didn't fucking tell me?! You fucking saw me all these years rotting like an old bag of shit and you knew where she was all this time?! And you knew about them and didn't tell me?! Your son?! What the fuck are you?!"

"THAT'S THE VERY REASON I DIDN'T TELL YOU! Have you heard anything of what I just said to you?!"

"YES! You have just told me to be honest with Bella, while you have been lying all this time to my face! YOU ARE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! I can't believe you!"

"EDWARD! Listen to what I just told you! The woman was a mess! She was so skinny when I saw her I almost didn't recognized her, she scared me to death, she was depressed… she begged me to not tell you because she couldn't stand more pain, it wasn't good for her pregnancy, she had a lot on her shoulders already. What did you want me to do?! Of course I wanted to tell you but if I didn't do what she asked for I was afraid she would run away and I wouldn't be able to care for her. You seriously thought Charlie paid for everything?! He's retired! Bella had no job, insurance or money and couldn't even work in her state."

"You still should have told me! How could _you_ keep something like this from me?! You are my father! You should known better!"

"I know! Believe me I wanted to tell you, I felt so guilty and it truly broke me but I had no choice! Think about it! Bella was already in a bad state, your presence would have only upset her and it wasn't like you were in any better condition! Imagine if I had put that on Bella's shoulders too?! You were a shell of yourself, you weren't even talking! Fuck, you tried to kill yourself! You seriously thought I could bring that man to her?!"

"I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL MYSELF!"

"YOU THINK I'M STUPID?! That might work on your mother but you can't fool me! You had almost two bottles of tequila by yourself! On an empty stomach! No man even at his lowest would even think about that! You seriously thought I could bring that man to Bella?! She needed support, not another fucking problem so I tried to talk to you! To bring you back to your senses! I tried for you to talk to someone and you never listened!"

"You could have just told me the truth!"

"And what difference would that have made? You know now and you are still being a coward about everything and up until today, you never tried anything to find out what happened that night! Your presence would have only made matters worse!"

"Is that why you had been breathing over my shoulder all that time? Giving me a once over every time I ran into you? To decide when I was _allowed_ to meet _my_ own kids?!"

"Damn it! You are taking all this in the wrong way!"

"Then which one is the right way! Please enlighten me because apparently I am fucking missing something here!"

He sighed.

Yeah, the fucker sighed.

He took a seat and motioned me to sit down to, I remained on my feet too pissed and flustered to sit down.

"I never wanted to keep them from you either, I felt guilty especially because I saw how hurt you were, but Edward… you didn't see her… I couldn't do that to her. She promised me she was going to tell you after the birth, I monitored her pregnancy I went to Ottawa every two weeks to check on her. Things seemed to start to get better, then one night in January Charlie called… he told me Bella had gone into early labor so I told your mom I had to see a patient urgently and went to Ottawa but I was late, the placenta detached so they had to do a cesarian to get them out, but I was in time to save Marie."

I turned around and walked to my desk, hiding my face as I was sure the pain was visible there. I put both of my hands on them for support.

"What happened next?" I spat.

"I only saw them three times, Bella felt guilty about not letting me tell you so she didn't want me to be in the middle more than necessary. We kept in touch, after making sure Marie was alright and survived the dysplasia, which was controlled quickly and there wasn't so much danger, I came back to Toronto. Then returned when Bella told me about the hypertension and visited two more times to check on Marie."

…

…

…

"You where there."

"Yes, I made sure they were alright, I took care of all the expenses and have been giving Bella a sum every month until she asked me to stop when you stepped in. I made sure they wouldn't perish anything."

…

…

…

"Edward, I know you are mad at me… and I don't blame you, I would be mad at myself too but I had no choice. I was afraid she would run away or that the worse would happen, that it would be too much and she would lose them. I know it sounds extreme but it was plausible."

"You said she promised you to tell me after the birth, what happened?"

"She went into a mix of postpartum depression and dysmorphic disorder" I winced and hit the table with my right fist, passing my other hand through my hair I couldn't believe what I was hearing "Charlie convinced her to see a therapist, she did… for the kids' sake. She was about to tell you about them, by the end of this summer."

…

…

…

"I'll never forgive you for this…"

"I know, but I don't regret it… I needed to help her, she trusted me and I didn't have other choice. She would have run away again and what have you done then? Not knowing if they were Ok or if something had gone wrong? What if it had been too much stress and she had lost them?"

"Why did Bella go into early labor?"

"I don't know, she never told me the specifics… but I guess it was because of the extra amount of stress, she was torn... she felt guilty about not telling you and putting me in a hard situation but she needed help. Also as I told you, she went into a bad depression because of everything. Not only because of what you did but also because of her past haunting her."

…

…

…

"What did you tell Bella? When I was putting Andrew in the cab when you came to Ottawa to find me. I saw you talking to her."

"She apologized, she knew the situation she had put me into and thanked me for what I did… I just thanked her for trusting me and coming to me for help."

…

…

…

"I can't believe you didn't tell me… I'm mad at you, in fact I feel like hating you right now."

"You said you understand why she did it, well… those are the same reasons why I did it. I understand what she was going through, I couldn't do that to her."

"But what about me?! I was going through a hard time too, I'm your _son_! I deserved to know! It was one thing for her not to tell me, but you are my father! How could you keep something like this from me?!"

"I know, and I'm truly sorry Edward… I tried to help you but you never listened. That's why I was so hard to you at the beginning, I wanted you to man up and do something! Ran after Tanya, get answers, face your mistakes. I wanted to get a reaction out of you, to see you come to life again. I couldn't bring a half of a man to her. If I had told you then you would have broken down again and overcome with guilt. She needed you strong, not groveling for what you did. Plus, I already told you… I feared if you showed up she would run again… this time _alone_. She wasn't in her right state of mind."

"STILL! I had a right to know!"

"Of course! But please understand, I didn't have a choice! I needed to look after her, make sure they were alright. If she had run away neither of us would have been able to help her. Can't you see that?"

…

…

…

I leaned down, my elbows on my desk and pulled at my hair in frustration. I saw his point but it was too much. He was my father, my family… he knew what I had been through, he had my answer to her whereabouts all this time and never told me.

"Did someone else know?"

"No, just me. But I confessed to your mother last Sunday night. After you left with the kids from brunch, she noticed something was bugging me. She was mad at me at first but… she eventually understood. She told me to tell you the truth too."

…

…

…

"I'll never forgive you for this, you are my father you should have told me… but thank you… for saving Marie, for helping her."

"I was just looking out for you." He stood up and walked to the door, but stopped before opening it.

"Remember what I said… read between the lines, she doesn't want to be around you for a reason, she's still hurting for a reason. Instead of dwelling on it… do something about it. Enough is enough."

* * *

><p>It was Wednesday I was in a hurry as I took of my doctor's coat and washed my hands. Bella was supposed to be here with them for mom's birthday any minute now. Alice had this brilliant idea to turning it into a pool day so Andrew was excited. Dad had taken the day off so he wasn't at the clinic. I hadn't talked to him since yesterday when he confessed me about knowing of Andrew and Marie. I was still having a hard time accepting that, I was mad, still furious at him but at the same time I couldn't suppress the relief at knowing that they were took care of all this time. That someone had been helping her, even if it was my own dad and had kept it from me.<p>

She hadn't been alone after all. She was secured.

I was looking for my phone everywhere on my desk when I remembered I left it on the examination room. I took my things and got out of my office and into the examination room. I took it and turned to leave to the reception to wait for Bella but was stopped by a smiling Lauren at the door.

"Hi Edward, haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

"Hi Lauren, yeah I've been busy." I said and try to move but she stopped me with one hand on my chest.

"Aww that's a shame, you know… I was thinking… I know you've been under a lot of stress lately, would you like to have a cup of coffee sometime during the week? I'm here if you want to talk you know?" She said in that annoying voice.

"Sorry Lauren, I'm busy." I said firmly.

"Aww, c'mon Edward… what's the worst that can happen?"

_I was opening my third beer, Emmet was telling us a story he thought it was funny while Jasper, Tyler and I pretended to listen when I felt someone tap my shoulder. A sweet gut wrenching smell assaulted my nostrils. I turned around and was faced with Tanya Denali's crazy black eyes._

"_Edward!"_

"_Hello Tanya, I'm surprised to see you here." Not really, I knew she was a party girl._

"_Same here!" She said over excitedly "Isn't your wedding tomorrow? Which by the way I'm really offended I didn't receive an invitation to." She said pouting. _

"_Yeah, sorry about that." I said, not bothering to come with an excuse. Kate, Irina and her parents where invited, but having my crazy ex-girlfriend at my wedding wasn't a good idea._

"_Yeah, you should be…" she said and something flashed in her eyes, making me shiver slightly "but I forgive you anyways! C'mon! Shots on me!"_

"_No thank you, I'm going home already and I'm driving."_

"_Aww Eddie! Don't be a party popper! C'mon, take it as a wedding gift! Jasper!" She yelled then and Jasper turned unwillingly, he hated Tanya "Tell him to take a shot! You take one too, all of you! They are on me!" She said jumping up and down._

"_Please Edward, take a shot so skankya can leave us the hell alone." Jasper said in a fake happy tone and Emmet, Tyler and I laughed out loud, Tanya just glared at him._

_She was gone for a minute and then she was back with a waiter with a tray of tequila shots. She gave one to all of them and saved me for last. She gave it to me and a cold feeling ran thought my body when I met her eyes. Something was wrong, I wanted her gone as soon as possible._

"_Come on Edward, take it… what's the worst that can happen?"_

Yep, I had been so naive, so stupid falling for pretty words and trying to please everyone at the table.

I guess there wasn't a nice way to do this, and I didn't want to. I had been fooled once I wouldn't let that happen again.

"Lauren, fuck off." I said and stepped around her, heading to the reception. I was going to wait for her outside. I wanted to be as far away as possible from Lauren.

"Excuse me?" She said, sounding offended.

"You heard me." I said over my shoulder.

"What's wrong with you?"

Yeah, I've been asking that myself for years.

As I reached the reception I turned to her and looked straight into her eyes while Heidi pretended to read the paper.

"I gotta go, and I don't have time for you, now or never. You heard me?"

"Jeez, I was just being polite!" She said while looking at something in my back.

"No, you were trying to get into my pants. Sorry, I'm taken." I wasn't sorry at all.

"By who? By that lame ass girl who hid your kids from you? Last time I heard she wouldn't even g-"

"Her name is Bella!" I interrupted her raising my voice. "And if you are smart enough I'll suggest you to think twice before offending her in my presence next time. Otherwise you'll be looking for another place to do your residence." I said firmly and turned around but stopped on my tracks when I saw Bella at the door. Her eyes wide.

Lauren scoffed and I heard her going back to into the hallway.

"Ehm…" Shit "I'm sorry about that." I said.

"It's Ok I knew she didn't like me since that time in Ottawa."

"How much did you hear?"

…

…

"Just the last part."

"I'm sorry, she shou-"

"Edward, it's Ok." She smiled timidly at me and my heart went wild.

…

…

"Where are Marie and Andrew?" I asked then.

"They are waiting in the car, Angela is with them."

"Angela?"

"Yes, I called her yesterday… we had a coffee so she could meet Marie and Andrew and I could meet Erick."

"She drove you here?" I asked her as we headed outside.

"No, I rented a car. I hope that was Ok?"

"No, I'm glad you did. How are they?" I asked as we walked to where she had parked.

…

…

"Andrew has been too quiet… and Marie didn't want to watch Rapunzel for sleeping last night. She wetted the hotel bed." She said sadly.

I sighed.

"Bella, please come."

…

…

"I have plans with Angela."

"I'm sure she'll understand. It would cheer them up, if you don't want to be around me I'll be out of your way, but please come."

"I don't have a bathing suit with me."

"That's a lame excuse… Alice can lend you one."

"I don't know Edward…"

"Bella, please… I want this to be a special day for them, its mom's birthday and they won't enjoy themselves if you are not there."

"Don't use them to make me feel bad… it's not fair."

"I'm not using them I'm just telling you the truth… They want you there, I want you there, I want them to have a normal day with their family. I want to assure them that it would be alright, that I won't go away and that there are no sides in this."

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and let it out.

…

…

…

"At least for a few hours… you can go after the cake."

"But… I'm not dressed for it." I rolled my eyes, she was so stubborn.

"It's a casual thing, just us there is no dress code… C'mon Bella."

She thought for a moment while biting her bottom lip.

…

…

…

"Just for a couple of hours." She agreed.

* * *

><p>When I approached the rental car to greet Angela and the kids, my heart broke when I caught a glimpse of Marie and Andrew. They were so serious, they looked sad… lost. Each of them holding a small package wrapped in a colorful paper and a balloon attached to it, Andrew was toying with it lightly while Marie just stared at it. I opened the back door and leaned down to kiss them both. They barely smiled but when I gave them the news about Bella coming to nana's birthday their faces had put the sun into shame so bad I wanted to cry of happiness. Bella offered to give Angela a ride back home, but she said it was Ok. That she could just take a cab so Bella followed me to my parent's house.<p>

We parked next each other on my parent's driveway. I got out of my car and helped Bella unfastening the kids. I took Marie in my arms and Bella took a hold of Andrew's hand.

"What did you get nana?" I asked them.

"Earrings!" Marie said.

"Me got her a necklace!" Andrew said next and I laughed.

"_I_ got her baby, not _me_ got her." Bella corrected lightly, and then she looked at me. "They are a set the necklace goes with the earrings."

"That sounds nice, I'm sure she'll love it. So… Nana doesn't know you are coming, she thinks you left back to Ottawa so when we get there I want you to yell surprise, can you do that?"

"YES!" Andrew screamed.

"Shhh!" I laughed "Not yet!" I said and he giggled.

Damn, he was a loud kid.

"What if nana didn't want us to come?" Marie asked.

"Why wouldn't she?" I asked in disbelieve and she just shrugged.

Bella and I held our gazes for a second.

"Marie, she loves you. Of course she would want you here."

She nodded and reclined her head in my shoulder.

We walked into the house and we heard them in the backyard. I felt Bella go rigid next to me. We walked with a giggling Marie and Andrew through the foyer and into the hallway, Marie told me to put her on the floor and she took my hand with one hand and Bella's with her other hand. We crossed the living room and walked through the sliding doors into the backyard. They were all sitting at the garden table under a huge umbrella next to the pool.

"Go!" I whispered to them and Marie and Andrew broke into a run towards mom.

"SURPRISE!" They yelled making everyone jump and turn to us, Andrew launched himself to mom's lap and Marie followed suit.

"OH MY GOD!" Mom gasped before tears fell from her eyes. "MY BABIES! I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!"

"Happy Birthday!" Andrew cheered and gave her his gift.

"Awww thank you so much sweetie! You shouldn't have." She said kissing his head.

"I got you one too nana, the balloon is purple!"

"Thank you sweetie! I love purple!" Mom kissed both of her cheeks.

"Look! Mommy came too!" Andrew said excitedly pointing towards Bella who was next to me, when everyone turned I was sure Bella would be a thousand shades of red.

"Come, it's alright." I whispered to her and we walked to them.

"Bella!" Mom screamed in delight. She stood up and came to hug her "Thank you so much for coming! And thank you for this wonderful surprise!" Mom said with tears on her eyes.

"Happy birthday… please don't thank me, it was Edward's idea." She said

"Still, thank you for coming." Mom said sincerely and stepped back to turn to me.

"Happy birthday mom." I said and hugged her.

"It's the best!" She said and let me go to turn to her grandkids, yeah… I was quickly forgotten.

"Hi Bella!" Alice said then, coming closer and pulling Jasper with her. From the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie hissing at a pleading Emmet. I couldn't hear what they were saying but by the looks of it they were fighting over something. Then Rosalie stood up abruptly and went into the house. Emmet sighed and buried his face in his hands.

"I'm so glad you came! Thank you for joining us!" Alice continued, thankfully distracting Bella from the scene I just saw.

"Thank you for having me."

"Hello Bella, it's nice to see you again. You look good, motherhood suits you." Japer smiled at her.

"Hi Jasper, thank you." Bella laughed lightly.

"Hey Bells." Emmet said approaching us, a smile on his face but I could see worry in his eyes. "Thanks for finally showing up! We missed you." He said hugging her and Bella giggled when he lifted her from the floor.

"Hi Em, I missed you too." Bella said smiling shyly. "Where's Rosalie?"

…

"She is inside, she's on her period or something and she's cranky today." He said matter-of-factly.

"Jeez Emmet, too much information." Jasper complained.

"What's a period?" Marie asked and we all looked down at her.

…

…

Fucking Emmet.

"Nothing you need to worry about it now sweetie." Alice said and Marie let it go and stretched her arms at me to carry her.

"Daddy, I wanna go in the pool." Andrew said from mom's lap, dad was next to her but I ignored him. I was still mad at him.

"Come on, let's change your clothes." I said.

Thankfully, Alice had brought three bikinis –don't ask me why- and an extra set of clothes. Bella had always been thin, but there was no way Alice's clothes would have fitted her 4 years ago as Alice was extremely tiny, so it surprised me when Bella came out from the house with Alice's skirt and shirt. It was the first time I truly realized how thin she had become, even with her wider hips she looked so breakable. I saw Alice frown when she looked at her in her clothes, no doubting she had come to the same conclusion.

I was sitting on the sun bed, blowing air into the floats for Andrew. Marie had hers on her arms already. Bella sat on the sun bed in front of me, covering herself in the shadow of the umbrella.

"Marie, come here sweetie. Let me put some sun block on you."

"Here are some snacks."Alice said sitting next to Bella with a big bowl of chips.

"For us or for you?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her and she stuck out her tongue at me making Andrew and Marie laugh.

"Why you eat so much?" Marie asked.

"That's because I'm having a baby, so I have to eat for me and your little cousin." Alice smiled rubbing her small belly.

"Did you eat a lot too mommy? When you had us?" Andrew asked Bella.

"All the time sweetie." She said softly and I smiled sadly, remembering all the times she had made go to the store to get her something. How I never read the signs was beyond me.

"What did you eat?"

"Mostly poptarts." Bella said, glancing at me briefly.

"But I don't like poptarts!" Andrew laughed.

"I guess she gave you so much you got tired of them." I teased

"Baby!" Jasper called "Could you put sun block on my back please?"

"Sure! I'll be back in a minute."Alice said and went to where Emmet and Jasper were arranging the volleyball net.

Chips in hand.

"Okay, you are ready." I said as I put the other float on Andrew's arm.

"You'll go with me? I don't know to swim."

"Of course kiddo." I said and stood up to take off my shirt. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella lower her gaze and blush lightly.

"What?" I asked her.

…

…

"Nothing… I just, have you been working out?"

"Oh, yeah… Emmet got me into it."

I had complained a lot at first, now I felt like I could kiss Emmet the shit out of him. I turned around with a stupid grin on my face and dived into the pool. I resurfaced and gasped for air and turned to the edge of the pool to take Andrew with me. Alice was back by then.

"C'mon Bella, you are too pale. Let's throw ourselves on the sun beds!"

"No thank you Alice. I'm alright."

"C'mon! Let's go into the pool then, it's like forty hundred degrees out here!" She said and Bella chuckled.

"Alice, don't be over dramatic. I'm fine."

"Uh-uh! I didn't lend you that beautiful blue bikini so you can hide it under a shirt. C'mon now."

"Yes mommy! I wanna go into the pool too." Marie said and Bella sighed. She stood up and slowly removed Alice's skirt and shirt.

My eyes immediately landed in her C-section scar, and a feeling of relieve replaced the pain I suddenly felt. Dad had been there, she hadn't been alone. Yeah, I was still furious at him but I still recognized the big part he had played in this. He saved Marie, and took care of them when I had become a shell of my former self. She turned to take Marie's hand and my eyes fell on the small ink on her left hip.

"_I did it!" Bella cheered as she entered in my office without knocking. "I did it! I did it!"_

"_What's his name so I can kick his ass right now." I teased._

"_I'm sorry sunshine but I don't think you'll be able to do so much damage with those skinny arms of yours."_

_I glared at her playfully. She came and sat on my lap and kissed me on my lips._

"_Hardy-har I'm still waiting for a name you know?"_

"_I'm sorry honey, you don't know him." She played along._

"_Tell me, you never know."_

"_Well, he's tall, very very tall… and so handsome, oh Edward, you should have seen his hands! Soo wonderful, and he has this huuuuuuge co-"_

"_You think you are funny." I dead paned and she laughed._

"_Is pretty boy jealous?" She wriggled her eyebrows._

"_No."_

"_We'll then I'll let you know that he also has this beautiful big green eyes, and the craziest red hair ever, a smile that melts my heart every time and that I'm completely in love with him." She finished the last giving me a deep kiss "Oh! And we are getting married in 5 short months."_

"_That we are." I smiled kissing her back "So, what have you done that has you so flustered."_

"_I got myself stained for life." She said dramatically._

"_What? You did it?" I asked amazed._

"_Yup, I got myself a tattoo." She said proudly._

"_Seriously? I thought you were kidding this morning!"_

"_Oh sunshine, how little you know me." She winked. "Alice went with me she wanted one too but chickened out at the last minute."_

"_Where is it? Can I see it?"_

"_Of course." She said and lifted her shirt pointing to her left hip. There, around an angered red skin a black sol and fa key next to each other formed a heart together. I lightly traced my thumb around it, afraid of hurting her._

"_It's beautiful, what does it mean?"_

"_Well, it reminds me of you." I lifted my gaze to her beautiful eyes._

"_How?"_

"_Well, for instance you're my favorite musician in the world" She gave me a chaste kiss "and, you know that sol means sun in Spanish right?"_

_I nodded._

"_You are my sunshine… and you said once I was your muse, so it reminded me of you."_

_I brought her face to mine and gave her a long deep kiss. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her in my life, she was amazing, the most incredible and beautiful girl to ever cross my path. She was the most caring and loving person in the world, I seriously don't know how she ended up with me. She moved to straddle me then and I felt her rub against me. I wanted her so bad right now, she was so sexy, and to know she had made herself a tattoo because of me increased my need for her a tenfold. The need to make her feel cherished and loved was so powerful I didn't hear the knock at the door first until she stopped the kiss._

"_I think you have a patient." She whispered against my lips._

"_They can wait." I answered and she chuckled._

"_I'll see you at home pretty boy."_

"_I'll see you at home… I love you pretty girl. Thank you."_

"_I love you more sunshine. Always."_

Bella covered her stomach and I lifted my gaze and found out she had caught me staring. She lowered her gaze and came into the pool, sitting on the stairs with the water covering her stomach. She pulled Marie and sat her on her lap and I swam near her with Andrew in my arms.

What dad told me yesterday still pulled at my heart. I took my sunglasses from the side of the pool and sat Andrew on my shoulders, he squealed splashing water everywhere.

"Look mommy! I'm tall like daddy!"

"Yes you are sweetie!" Bella said in her mommy's voice.

"I wanna go on daddy's shoulders too." Marie said and I pulled Andrew down and handed him to Bella and took Marie with me, cradling her in my arms, I tickled her and the music if her giggles melted my heart. Alice came into the water with Jasper and they sat next to her.

"Hey buddy, do you wanna play volleyball with uncle Em and I?" Jasper asked Andrew.

"YES!"

"Good! C'mon, jump on my shoulders now."

"Careful Jasper." I said.

"Don't worry, I got him." Jasper said and walked to where Emmet was playing with a volleyball on the other side of the pool.

"Auntie Alice, is Camille coming soon?"

"Well, I'm afraid we have to wait a little longer… why?"

"I want a cousin I can play princesses with. Andrew don't like to play princesses and I don't have a sister to play with." She said.

"Well, he is a boy… he prefers to play other things." Bella said.

"What about your friends in day care? Don't you play with them?" I asked.

"Not really, they like to run a lot and I get tired."

I shut my eyes and pressed her against my chest while kissing the top of her head.

"Well sweetie, I'm sure Camille will love to play princesses with you. She'll be a little princess like you, so you'll have to teach her a lot of things. You think you can do that?"

"Yes!" Marie smiled brightly.

The rest of the day went surprisingly well. God blessed Alice as she kept Bella company the whole time, making her feel welcome while I played with the kids. And by kids I don't only mean Andrew and Marie. Emmet, Jasper, Andrew and I played soccer in mom's garden. I finally got to teach Andrew how to play a little. Of course he couldn't hit the ball too hard but it was too damn cute to see him run after it. Emmet of course made a show of falling hard on the ground so Andrew could make a goal. He got so excited, and I felt a knot on my throat when he ran to me to give a high five. I didn't see Rosalie until all of us made our way inside about an hour before dinner, she was in the kitchen helping mom with it, she greeted the kids with a big smile and a curt hello to Bella. Then she disappeared into the living room, I went after her and saw her in the hallway heading the stairs.

"Rose." I called but she ignored me and went upstairs.

"Sorry about that." I heard Emmet say and I turned to him, I hadn't realized he had followed too.

"It's not your fault."

"I know, but… please understand her. She is having a hard time right now… she's just letting her emotions rule her, she feels so protective of everyone it's hard for her to accept what Bella did, especially after getting the results. She'll come to her senses soon."

"Ok, I just… it took a lot of effort to convince Bella to come I don't want her to make her feel uncomfortable."

"Yeah, I told her that… and she knows this was the best for the kids, she is just being difficult. She has been mad at everything lately. God, I don't know what to do, if to give her space or to try to talk to her. I have tried both but nothing seems to work."

"I wish I could tell you what to do but I think you are talking to the wrong person. My choices lately haven't been too great either."

I stepped around him and went for my backpack to change my clothes once I was done I stepped out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen looking for Bella. She was sitting on a bar stool with Alice, mom and dad.

"Hey, Bella was telling us about the house. It sounds lovely! And she gave me full permission for decorating it!" Alice said clapping her hands and I turned to Bella raising and eyebrow.

"She used the pout." She said by a way of explanation and I rolled my eyes. "And it will be helpful, I know nothing about furniture."

"Ok, as long as you are ok with it."

"I can't believe you are moving back next week, time went so fast! Do you need help with anything sweetie?" Mom offered.

"No, I'm ok. Thanks Esme, the rent included the furniture so nothing is mine back there. But, I'll be sending a few boxes with our things do you think you can receive them for me? It will only be a few boxes."

"Of course sweetie, send anything you want here. I'm home all day."

"Thank you."

Dinner time came, and we all sat around the big dining table. Dad made a toast to mom and mom thanked everyone for coming, especially Bella and for letting Marie and Andrew come. Bella blushed and smiled lightly and thanked everyone for having her. Things were going so good I couldn't believe it. By the end of the night Bella was so at ease she was smiling freely and Andrew and Marie where playing everywhere, exploring the house while the adults spoke in the living room. Rosalie was there but never spoke.

Alice was going on some story about who the fuck knows what but I wasn't paying attention to her, I was –hopefully discretely- staring at Bella. I was having a hard time believing what dad had told me. Postnatal depression was a common thing, and on Bella's situation would have to only be natural but… a dysmorphic disorder? Really? She was the most beautiful thing to me even with her weight loss she was perfect. How could she doubt that? I knew being cheating on had some low self-esteem effect on women but… for her to go that far? I guess it had been a mix of everything and I fought the urge to punch myself for causing her that.

I felt a tug on my pants and looked down to see Andrew and Marie on the floor under the coffee table, hiding from Bella who sat next to me.

"Daddy!" Andrew whispered.

"What's up kiddo?" I asked leaning down.

"I want cookies but mommy said I had my dessert already." He pouted.

Shit, he was good.

"Mhmm… and what can we do about that?"

He continued to pout and I heard Bella stiffen a laugh.

"Please daddy, we can't reach them and you are so tall."

"But mommy said no. I can't go against her what if she gets mad at me." I teased them.

"She won't, you are daddy." Marie said.

"Just one." I heard Bella whisper discretely at me.

I fought the smile that threatened to spread on my face at Bella following the game and let out a dramatic sigh.

"Okay, I'll take the risk for you… go, I'll meet you in the kitchen."

"Thanks daddy!" Both whispered brightly and crawled back to the kitchen.

Once they were out of sight everyone laughed.

"Yeah, I guess they won't be super spies when they grow up." I said as I stood up.

I went into the kitchen and found them in the walk-in ladder staring at the cookie jar at the top.

"And what do I get out of this?" I said as I reached the jar.

"You can have a cookie too!" Andrew said.

"Okay." I laughed as I sat down on the floor with them and gave them a homemade cookie each.

"Nana's cookies are awesome!" Marie said chewing on the big cookie.

"Thank you sweetie." Mom said appearing on the entrance of the larder. "But I thought your mommy said no more cookies?"

Andrew face palmed his forehead, it was hilarious.

"Busted!" He said.

"Please nana, don't tell mommy!" Marie said worriedly.

"Ok, but I want on-"

"_YOUR ARE JUST A SELFISH HYPOCRITE BITCH!" _Rosalie's voice resonated through the whole house making the four of us jump.

"Stay with them." I told mom urgently as I stood up and run to the living room.

"_Rosalie!"_ I heard Emmet admonished her, the hallway had never been so long.

"_No! I can't stand it anymore, how can everyone be so calm! She kept them from him!"_

"ROSALIE! That is none of your business!" Alice said back as I entered the living room. Everyone was on their feet Emmet was next to Rosalie restraining her from coming anywhere closer to Bella. Bella's eyes were red with tears as she clutched Alice's hand, Jasper and dad where in the middle.

"I DON'T CARE! How can you let her in so easily?! She hid them from Edward!"

"SHUT UP!" Alice screeched "they'll hear you! Fuck Rosalie what's wrong with you?!"

"What's wrong with _me_?! Are you seriously asking me that?! What about that little piece of sh-"

"ROSALIE!" I interrupted her "Stop it! Don't talk to her like that!" She let out a sarcastic laugh.

"Oh god! You are so whipped! Don't be stupid Edward! Maybe you can overlook what she did but I can't, and someone needs to give her a piece of their mind! How could you do that, take two children away from their dad?! You realize what you did?! You are just a selfish-"

"Rosalie! Fuck off!" I screamed again but that didn't stop her.

"Bitch! You took a parent away from his children! How could you do that? Are you that cold? Are you happy now?! Did you get you little revenge?! Or wasn't it enough for you?! How long did you plan to go with this!"

"Emmet!" I screamed at him to get her out of here but Rosalie just pushed him away. She seemed possessed.

"Are you happy to give you children a broken home? To make them feel unwanted?! Abandoned?! Did you want that?! Did you think that would be the best punishment in the long run?! To make them suffer because of what _he_ did?! Without money or a safe environment?! Alone?! Are you that stu-"

"OF COURSE NOT!" Bella yelled back surprising the shit out of all of us as she had been crying quietly behind Alice. "Are you that dense! Do you seriously think I wanted that for them?" Bella cried angrily.

"It seems to! You let them believe Edward didn't want them, you told them he was busy and didn-"

"I NEVER DID THAT! STOP BITCHING AND START LISTENING! I never kept Edward a secret, they knew about him! I told them about him! They know he loves them, I spent four years making sure they knew that! I answered every question they had about him!"

"BUT YOU STILL KEPT THEM FROM HIM! YOU MADE THEM FEEL UNWANTED!"

"DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT FEELING UNWANTED!" Bella screamed back "I KNOW THE FEELING PERFECTLY THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I know perfectly what's like to grow up in a broken home! I know perfectly how it feels to be abandoned and I made sure they never felt like that! How can you even suggest I wanted that for them?! You know nothing Rosalie! NOTHING ABOUT A HARD LIFE! You have always had your perfect life, things had always been easy for you! Excuse me if I needed a break! You have no right to insult me and assume things you have no proof of the only one who has the right to question me would be Edward not you!"

"Don't play that card on me! Don't jus-"

"I'm not playing any card! I'm telling you the truth! I never wanted them to grow up in a broken home I tried my best to make them feel safe and loved. I never wanted them to grow up in a house like MINE! I never talked shit about Edward I always assured them he loved them! If you think it didn't hurt and that it was easy to just go on with my life you are completely wrong!"

"I don't care about your stupid upbringing! That's not the point! How long did you think your story was going to last?! Did you think they'll never demand for him?!"

"I wasn't going to keep them from him forever!"

"I don't fucking believe you! You never told anyone, you ran like a coward and hid them!"

"Rosalie! Shut the fuck up now! That's enough!" I yelled stepping between them. "You have no right to get in the middle of this! Especially if you know NOTHING about it!"

"Babe," an embarrassed and worried Emmet said "Edward is right, this is not your business let's go."

"No! I'm tired of everyone ignoring the past four years! Did you all forget what happened! Did you all forget when Ed-"

"ROSALIE! I SAID ENOUGH!" I yelled seeing red now she was pulling at my last nerves now.

"NO! I WON'T SHUT UP! YOU DID A REPROBABLE THING! YOU ARE A SELFISH, MEAN AND COLDHEAR-"

"YOU DON'T YELL AT MOMMY!" Andrew screamed then, appearing out of nowhere in front of Rosalie pointing a finger towards her, rivers falling down his cheeks "NO ONE YELLS AT MY MOMMY! YOU ARE UGLY! VERY VERY UGLY AND MEAN!" He screamed stomping a tiny foot in the floor.

That shut everyone up.

…

…

…

Marie appeared on the doorway and run at Bella throwing herself at her.

"I-I wanna go home." She sobbed on Bella's chest.

"Shhh… I'm ok, it's ok." Bella said trying her hardest damn to control her voice. Andrew turned and ran to Bella too, hugging her legs.

"You are pretty mommy." He whimpered

"I wanna go home!" Marie bawled again.

SHIT! I wanted to kill Rosalie right now so bad!

"Andrew, Mari-" I started to say then but Marie's cough stopped me.

She coughed again… and again and again. Bella pulled her abruptly from her to look at her face which had been against her chest.

"Marie?" she asked with a slight panic in her voice, but Marie didn't answer instead she started chocking on her own breath, her body shaking incontrollable. "Marie?!"

Shit! I flew to the kitchen looking for her tank, but I couldn't find it.

"Edward!" Bella screamed in panic and I heard Marie's breathy cries and a commotion on the living room.

"Where is it?!" I yelled back.

"It's in the game room!"

"Esme take Andrew to the kitchen!" I heard dad say, it was then when I heard his cries too.

Fuck fuck! Fuckity fuck fuck! I cursed to myself as I entered the game room. I looked around and found it next to Bella's things. I took it and ran like a bat out of hell back to the living room. Everyone had made space, Emmet held Rosalie as she had her hands covering her mouth staring intently at Marie, the bitch was crying now. Bella sat on the couch holding Marie's back against her chest, Marie's body was shaking so bad, desperate for air, her face was pale and her eyes bloodshot, the veins from her neck popping out. Carlisle was kneeled in front of her, taking her pulse.

"Sweetie, try to breath with me… calm down." Bella tried to sooth her but her voice was shaking with panic, she lifted her red eyes when she heard me come in and relief washed through her face when she saw the tank.

I pushed dad without thinking about it and put the mask on Marie's mouth and nose, took the tank, pulled the switch and oxygen started to flow.

"Marie, its fine baby… try to breath normally… do you feel mommy's chest? Try to breath with her." I said in a firm soft voice, trying to remain calm.

Marie's eyes were wide in panic, she was scared. I continued to hold the mask against her face making eye contact with her, assuring her. Her breathing was still labored and the coughing continued. Bella held her body and I held her head.

"Everything is fine baby… just breath with mommy." I said again and she nodded, Dad handed me a stethoscope and I put the chest-piece over her heart. It was beating wildly scarring me more, if it continued like this she could have a heart attack. "Marie, I need you to calm down… nothing is going to happen, I'm here baby, take deep breathes…" I said kissing her forehead "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I love you." I said and she clutched her hand to mine, which still held the chest-piece over her heart. She had her eyes focused on mine, she was scared. "Breathe with mommy princess."

After a minute the coughing started to subside, and eventually her breathing calmed too. I left the mask over her face until the medicine finished. When no more oxygen came out I retired the mask and she started bawling. Throwing her arms around my neck, I hold her tighter than ever, finally letting my tears sprung free, finally letting dawn on me what had just happened.

Bella caressed her hair with her shaky hand. Trying to calm her but Marie clutched to me more. I lifted my gaze and my eyes locked with hers, we stared at each other for a minute before she broke down too. I stood up and sat next to her, bringing her to my arms too. After a few minutes I looked around and realized we were alone, I didn't noticed when everyone had left the room. We remained like that for a few minutes until I heard mom's steps, I lifted my gaze and found her at the door with a flustered Andrew on her hip. I nodded and she put him on the floor, Andrew run towards us and climbed on my lap, hugging his sister while I held the three of them.

"Are you Ok now?" Andrew asked in a quiet trembling voice.

"Yes."

"You hurt? I can give you another hug."

"Ok." Marie whimpered.

We remained like that for a while until we heard Andrew's light snores. Bella untangled herself and took a deep breath.

"I think it's time for us to go."

I nodded.

"I'll walk you to the car." I said as I stood up and took Bella's things from her. I followed her to the car with Marie still in my arms and Andrew in hers. We put them on the back seat and I rounded the car to stand next to her, I put her things on the passenger seat and turned to her. She looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry," I said "about that… Rosalie isn't in her right mind right now. She shouldn't have said the things she said. She was out of line."

"Some of it was true… I deserved it."

"No you don't, Bella… Carlisle told me the truth… I know you told him." Her face contorted in pain and she covered her face with her hands, crying with guilt.

"Bella," I said taking her hands away from her face and held them in mine "I don't care what Rosalie says or what she thinks it happened… I know you didn't do it as a way to get back at me, and I know why you did it… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for making you take those decisions… for what I put you through. I'm sorry for what I did, Bella I never wanted to hurt you like that… I hated myself for years because of what I did to you… I wouldn't have wanted to see me either, you had your reasons and I accept them… of course I would have preferred for you to come to me instead of my dad and hiding them but I'm not mad at you anymore… I'm mad at myself… because it was me who started all of this… I wish I could make the time go back, if I could I'll do everything right… because Bella…. I can't live without you."

She pulled her hands abruptly from me and stared at me wide eyed.

"Don't say that." She cried quietly.

"But is the truth… Bella, I love you… I never stopped loving you, it was a drunken mistake and you have no idea the hell I lived because of it… it nearly killed me… literally because no matter what I did I couldn't stop thinking of you, you were in my mind every single minute of every single day for the past four years… I shouldn't have let you go away… I should have gone after you, tried harder to find you but I was a coward… I dreaded facing my mistakes and that's why we got in this situation, because of my poor choices."

"Stop." She cried taking a step back. "I don't wanna hear it."

"Bella, but you need to hear me out... I missed my chance last time. I wished every night for another opportunity, to find you so I could explain… even if at the time I didn't even know what… but Bella, I didn't do it willingly… I wasn't in my right state of mind… I know it sounds lame and a shit of an excuse but… I don't even remember it happening, there's even a chance that I was drugged, I woke up the next day thinking it was you next to me!"

"Stop!"

"No Bella, I'm not going to stop… you need to know the truth, I love you, more than anything! I never got over you, you are still my life, my pretty girl, and I want to make it up for you. I'm here now, and I'll always be waiting for you as I have been doing it since the moment you walked out that day. I want us to be a family, to be that family you always wanted and deserve… I want us to grow old together, raise our children together, continue with our lives, I want us to be together again, the way we were… we were perfect remember? We promised, you and I… always." I said with a not on my throat, fighting back the tears.

"Aghh!" she shrieked "Stop talking! Are you listening to yourself? You don't want me! You are just guilty about what happened."

"Of course I feel guilty! But that doesn't make it less true. I love you! I know I broke all my promises to you, but this one remains… I'll love you forever, and you can do with me whatever you want, I'm yours!"

"But I don't want you!"

"I don't believe that!"

"I don't want your love! I have hurt enough in my life I'm tired of crying Edward… I'm just tired. Please stop, I can't stand it… don't come and tell me those things! Do you seriously expect me to believe that? I saw you with her! And even if you were drunk or high or drugged you still did it! You went out that night! RIGHT BEFORE OUR WEDDING! Who fucking does that?! You talked to her! You slept with her! There is no excuse! You didn't love me, at least not enough to stop it or to do anything about it, you didn't think of me then and if you did, then I didn't really matter to you after all as you still did it!"

"Of course you mattered! You still do! Don't you remember anything I told you before? When I proposed?! When I played for you that morning?! Bella, I can't live in a world where you don't exist! You are my life! I live for you, breathe for you."

She turned abruptly and walked to the car, resting his hand on the top and shut her eyes.

…

…

…

"I don't believe you, and even if I did…" She lifted her head to look me right into my eyes "it doesn't change anything."

She took a step back, opened the door and hopped into the car. I stayed there and watched as she got away, leaving me alone in the street.

She got away.

She left.

Again.

* * *

><p><strong>Before all of you Team Edward jump into the screen to kill me and have Daddy C's head please try to understand, he was in a though situation, post natal depression can be very bad, and a dysmorphic disorder is a thousand times worse, it can be really bad, we saw it on my psychology class and it can be very dangerous. So mix it together with hormones and stuff and poor Bella had it rough. And for all of you who thought Bella should have at least told someone, well she did it after all, and she got help =))<strong>

**I'm not a doctor, so I most likely invented how Marie's attack worked, but this is fiction anyways.**

**I know a lot of you think Edward has been too forgiving but, Eclipse's Edward did forgive Bella after she cheated on him with Jacob and he even blamed himself so I don't think this Edward is too far away from the real one ;)**

**So, Edward finally got the courage to tell Bella he loves her... I'm afraid it didn't go well but at least he told Lauren to fuck off ;) I think he is finally realizing what he's being doing wrong and he is finally thinking for himself!**

**Someone asked if Skankya got pregnant, no she didn't. Even if she did with the life she has she wouldn't be able to keep it.**

**Anyways, please leave a review! this was a tough one and I'm sure there will be a lot of mixed feelings but it was planned since the beginning. Plus, 13,258 word I think I deserve some love don't you think? (Yeah, I'm proud of my self =) That's the highest number of words I've ever written)**

**So, I'm on spring break, that means lots of writing! I hope I can have chapter 17 sometime during the week!**

**Saludos!**

**Tpec**


	17. Chapter 17: Vulnerable

**Wow... I don't even know how to start.**

**Fist of all, I had an awesome break. I got myself a tan and was able to relax the whole week! School was stressing the hell out of me. Thank you so much for your good wishes!**

**Your last reviews were A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! Just, wow... I can't believe how many people are so invested in this story, I'm truly overwhelmed, thank you so much for the ones who shared their personal stories with me, and thank you so much for your kind words. **

**I was truly surprise by the response from last chapter, I was pretty sure all of you were going to hate daddy C, but I'm so glad about 85 percent of you understood or even supported him. Thanks for the ones who understood HIPPA laws were involved too.**

**Answers: Some of you questioned why no one tried to stop Bella from running away that morning. Well, Alice tried, Edward mentions something on ch 2 when he remembers that day, that Alice told something to Bella but he didn't catch it because of the state he was in. Some others asked why no one questioned Tanya or Kate, Alice did it too, she said in that same chapter and on a later one that she called Kate but that she didn't know anything at the time. Also, the most asked question had been if there would be a HEA, yes there will be =))**

**Also, WELCOME to my new readers! I never though that small post on fictionators would bring me HUNDREDS of new readers! I got so excited when I saw all the new alerts!**

**Thanks again for everyone who reviewed, I read all of your reviews, some of them made me laugh like Loves Robporn (I might have quoted you in this chapter btw) others makes me smile like Soni's Angel (Wow, longest review I've ever had, thank you soo much! I loved it!) Thanks to **MorganUNTWriter for your awesome review too =)****

**Thank to darcy13, LissLove, DawnsWhimsy, Isabela is Online, christykq, MaryMary123, JRDurham, for their constant reviews! I love reading them!**

**And special thanks to nikkistew2 for truly understanding Carlisle and Bella on last chapter, I loved your review, I was so happy you got everything I tried to say!**

**Ok, enough with the chat!**

**SM own every character, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 17: Vulnerable<p>

"**Vulnerable" – Secondhand Serenade**

_Share with me the blankets that your wrapped in_  
><em>because its cold outside cold outside its cold outside<em>  
><em>share with me the secrets that you kept in<em>  
><em>because its cold inside cold inside its cold inside<em>

_and your slowly shaking finger tips_  
><em>show that your scared like me so<em>  
><em>let's pretend we're alone<em>  
><em>and I know you may be scared<em>  
><em>and I know were unprepared<em>  
><em>but I don't care<em>

_tell me tell me_  
><em>what makes you think that you are invincible<em>  
><em>I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure<em>  
><em>please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable<em>  
><em>impossible<em>

_I was born to tell you I love you_  
><em>isn't that a song already<em>  
><em>I get a B in originality<em>  
><em>and it's true I can't go on without you<em>  
><em>your smile makes me see clearer<em>  
><em>if you could only see in the mirror what I see<em>

I stepped back into into the foyer and heard the hushed voices coming from the kitchen so I made my way there. I stood in the threshold and everyone turned abruptly to me, sensing my presence, but I only had eyes for one person.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I spat.

"Edwa-" Emmet started to say but I cut him off with a glare.

"Why the fuck did you have to do that?" I continued.

"I'm sorry I made a scene in front of the kids, but she deserved that." Rosalie said coolly staring nonchalantly at some spot in the wall in front of her. She was reclined on the counter with Emmet sitting next to her. He was looking down not sure of what to do.

"And who the fuck do you think you are to say who deserves what? Fuck Rosalie, you were way out line!" I yelled and she turned to me abruptly, glaring at me.

"She deserves that and more! Jesus Edward! What's wrong with you? The woman tried to keep your kids from you!"

"It wasn't like that! And it isn't any of your fucking business! You promised you wouldn't interfere!"

"How can you expect me to see everyone being so fucking lovey dovey with her after all that happened and do nothing? She doesn't deserve it! She was selfish and stupid to just run away with nothing and not telling anyone! She deprived your kids from a safe environment and economic insurance! She didn't think of them and the situation she was putting them in! She was selfish, just thinking about herself!"

"I said it's none of your fucking business! She had her reasons, and it doesn't matter if you agree with them or not, you don't have the right to share your opinion in this! It's none of your goddamn business what she did or didn't do! You don't even know what she went through, you weren't there to see how things went! You know NOTHING! I know you are hurting Rose, but that doesn't give you the right to drag us all down in your misery!" She winced.

"Edwa-" Dad started to say but I cut him off.

"YOU STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!"

"Edward!" Almost everyone but mom and dad gasped at my lash out at him but I didn't care to explain my problem with him.

"That has nothing to do with it!" Rosalie said, her eyes glazing with angry tears "I just can't understand why you are being so fucking forgiving about everything! Why are you still after her after what she did! Yes, I know you cheated on her and that was fucked up but she didn't have the right to do what she did! She should have told you!"

"And don't you think I fucking know that already? Don't you think I'm hurt and angry because of that? Of course I was angry, of course I was furious and I lashed out at her at first! But being angry won't take me anywhere! Fuck! You tried that today and look how well it ended! You nearly gave Marie a heart attack! You know Rosalie? From all the people here I thought you'd be the one who would understand the most!"

"And why the fuck is that?" She spat.

"Because you lost your chance at having a family too! I lost mine and now, for some fucked up reason I might have a chance to get it back! If you had a chance, wouldn't you do fucking anything to make it happen? Even to swallow down your fucking hurt and pride?"

"This is different." She muttered.

"Rosalie, you said you saw me, how I was these past years… I knew I couldn't change what happen, I can't change what happened. So for four years I wished for a chance, and now… now here it is, it might not make sense to you but I don't wanna loose my opportunity by bitching about how it was presented to me. She is everything I'll ever want, and with Marie and Andrew thrown at the mix… I couldn't ask for anything better… I'm just trying to get my family back here."

…

"She should have told you."

"And I shouldn't have cheated on her. We both made mistakes, the difference is that I started all this, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have done that and would have surprised me on our honeymoon as she had planned… but all that went to hell because of me. So it's up to me to _start_ to fix this."

"Edward, don't be an idiot! It shouldn't be that simple! Are you seriously ignoring all you went through? Don't you care about all the lost time with them? You lost the first years with your kids because of her! Because she couldn't suck it up an-"

"You are wrong! I lost that time because of me! I pushed her to that direction and I didn't do anything to change what I did! I gave up! I stopped looking for her and the only thing I did these past years was to grovel and brood about what I did instead of doing something about it! Don't you see that?"

"And what if you'd done something huh? She left without telling anyone, how would you have known?"

"She told dad!"

…

…

"What?" Alice asked in a whisper while everyone turned to dad with wide eyes.

"Yeah, that fucker knew and didn't tell me by the way."

"Why?" Emmet asked incredulous.

…

…

…

Dad let out an exasperated sigh.

"She asked me not to…" He sighed again, uncomfortable in the spotlight "It's a long story but, Bella called me a couple of months after… the wedding day asking me for help. I went to meet her in Ottawa and she told me about the pregnancy… I took care of her all this time but she made me promise not to tell until she was ready."

"And you didn't tell Edward?" Alice asked in shock.

"I was afraid if I did she would elope… and then we would be in a real problem not knowing nothing about her, of course I wanted to but I was in a tough position. Besides, it wasn't ethical with the HIPPA laws and all. If a patient asks for privacy, I can't go against it."

"Wow." Emmet said stunned. "I can't believe you knew."

"Me neither… wow, I don't know what to think… I'm sorry you had to make a decision like that, it must have been hard… At least we know for sure they were safe, and that's what matters right? I get why you did it but I would have hated to be in your shoes." Alice grimaced. "I wouldn't have known what to do."

"So you picked Bella over your own son?" Rosalie asked incredulous and everyone but dad stiffened, he just stared back at Rose.

…

…

"The way I see it Rose… by taking care of Bella and agreeing with her I took care of Edward's kids. So that would be putting Edward first too. There are no sides in this, we help the ones we can and the kids comes first over anything. If I had put more stress over Bella the kids would have suffered. After what happened today I think we can all agree on that."

…

…

…

The silence stretched after dad's comment and ammunition to Rose's behavior. I could see his logic but I was still hurt by him keeping this from me. Fuck HIPPA, I just couldn't see how I'd ever be able to forgive him. It still hurt to know my father lied to me like that.

"So you knew them?" Emmet asked breaking the silence.

"Not really, I just saw them a few times… the first time was when Bella went into labor and I went to take care of her. I didn't make it to the delivery but I was there for Marie, when she had the dysplasia… I visited a few times after to check on her. I didn't go back because Bella thought she was putting me in a more compromising position and I could see the stress she had over everything… So I tried to make things easier for her."

"He supported her over the years." I said to Rose "So you can take unsafe environment and economic shit out of your list."

"I still can't believe she put you in that spot." Rosalie said to Carlisle ignoring me and I rolled my eyes.

"First, you complain about her being selfish for not telling anyone and for depriving the kids from things, now that you know it wasn't exactly like that you complain about how she did it? Fuck you Rose!"

"Edward," Emmet cautioned "I know you are mad but take it easy dude."

"Damn it! Are you seriously asking me to take it easy on her? After what she put Bella and _my kids_ through tonight!"

"I know what Rose did wasn't the wisest, I know she should have kept her mouth shut," Rose was about to argue but Emmet interrupted her "baby, I'm sorry but Edward is right you shouldn't have done that" He turned back to me "But I won't let you talk to her like that."

"Emmet, how can you ask me to be calm towards her! You don't know how hard it was to convince Bella to come today, I just wanted to give Marie and Andrew some sort of normalcy in this fucked up situation, especially after giving them the news about their mommy and daddy not being together as they thought. I was trying to prove to her that we could be in the same goddamn room _with my family_ without it being painful or awkward or weird so we could work this out for them. So they could have the nearest thing to a normal family and she had to go and not only insult her and bring out her insecurities but she did it in front of them! Andrew had to come out and shut her up and Marie could have fucking died!"

"I'm sorry I did it in front of them! I didn't intend it to go that far!" Rosalie said trying to control her tears and feeling guilty "but Edward, even if she told Carlisle or no matter what happened, the truth is that she should have told you!"

"I'm sick of hearing that! I know that! And I don't care about what we should have done anymore! The past is the past, we can't change it and we can only move forward, I missed four years already! I don't wanna lose more by giving her the silent treatment or by threatening her or lashing out at her. I can't risk putting the kids in a stressful environment, their life is already hard as it is and you already saw how Marie reacted to it. Don't you fucking get that? And at the end, it wouldn't matter if I don't speak to her for months or years because the truth is… I still love her, and it hurts to know what she did but I try to ignore it because the only thing I want is them. All this time I asked for a chance… and whoever is up there fucking finally listened to me. I don't ask you to agree with me, just to try to understand and don't interfere with my decisions, just… support me. That was the only thing I ask from all of you, I don't expect you to be like mom and Alice and go out of your way to please her, just don't make this harder than it already is for me. Please Rose, I'm begging here."

"You really can overlook everything else?" She asked still incredulous.

"It's not easy... but yeah, I'm willing to do it. Maybe she will never take me back… but at least for the kids' sake, I have to. You saw how Andrew was protective of Bella, and you saw how Marie ran to her when she was scared… she means so much to them, if Bella isn't alright they aren't alright. She is their mother, their world even if I didn't want Bella back in my life I wouldn't have a choice. They would hate me or fear me if I did to Bella what you did to her."

…

…

…

"I'm truly sorry I did what I did in front of them" Her voice cracked a little at that "But I still think she deserved it and for that I'm not sorry, but I see your point… I promise I won't do it again, I had may say already anyways… I just thought she needed to hear a piece of my mind because it got on my nerves to see everyone ignoring the big pink elephant in the room. I stood by what I said when you first told us about the kids, nothing justifies keeping a kid from their father, but I understand it isn't my business, I won't interfere again I promise."

"That's all I'm asking."

* * *

><p>Last night, when Bella left and I saw the car turn the corner and out of sight had been so hard almost as if my heart had gone with them. But now, seeing them go through the security airport was even harder, as if my soul was leaving me too. I know they would be moving to Toronto next week but I still would miss them, and because of what happened the day prior our moods made everything worse. I had picked them up at the hotel against Bella's wishes as she had thought it unnecessary but of course I refused. Bella was quiet the whole ride to the airport and Andrew was uncharacteristically distracted and quiet too. Marie was asleep, as the day prior had worn her out.<p>

My last conversation with Andrew, before Bella took his hand and stirred him towards security still tugged at my heart. He was such a sensitive kid, his worry over his mom and I gut wrenching. I couldn't believe Andrew's bravery, the way he stepped in front of Rosalie and yelled at her. I knew he was a momma's boy, and Bella was his world so I would have assumed he would be more scared at the scene, I would have thought he would break down just like Marie, but instead he stood up for his mom. He told Rosalie not to yell at his mommy. He did break down later of course, when things went even more out of control and Marie started convulsing but the fire in his eyes still had stunned me. I worried over him, so before they left, I asked Bella if I could have a word with him. Bella took Marie to the bathroom and I took Andrew for an ice cream.

I had carried him on my hip so he could see the flavors in the shop, even though I knew he would pick chocolate. After getting him his cup I sat at a nearby table with him in my lap. I took a moment to examine his gorgeous face, how he puckered his lips while eating his ice cream. He clearly liked it but, I could see something was still off, something bothered him. He wasn't looking at me or talking.

"Andrew, I wanted to talk to you about last night." I told him and he immediately looked at me, his eyes going big.

"You mad at me?" He whimpered, his eyes glazing.

"What? No, why would I be mad at you?" I asked aghast.

"Because I yell, mommy says yelling s'a bad thing."

"Oh honey, there are kinds of yelling. I'm sure mommy meant that you are not supposed to yell bad things, or to yell at people just for the sake of it. But I'm not mad at you, in fact… I'm proud of you."

"You are?" He whimpered, his chin quivering.

"Of course Andrew, you where so brave. I'm so proud that you defended your mommy like that."

"Aunt Rosalie s'ugly and mean, don't like her."

I sighed.

"Andrew, I know after what you saw you must think that Aunt Rosalie is a bad person. But she isn't, I wanted to clear that out too. She just… she is having some problems, and she was sad that day… she knows she shouldn't have yelled at mommy. She was just sad and accidentally exploded against mommy."

"Me don't like her."

"And I don't blame you, I just want you to give her a chance to say sorry next time she sees you. She was truly sorry when you left."

Andrew started crying.

"But me don't like it when mommy's sad. Mommy s'always sad, and me don't want her more sad! She is pretty!"

I hugged him tight against me.

"I know baby, she is the prettiest girl in the world and I don't like it when mommy is sad either that's why I'm so proud of you defending her. But Aunt Rosalie isn't a bad person, she is just passing through a bad time, do you understand that?"

He nodded against my chest.

"She still is ugly. Mommy is pretty." He cried.

"I know baby, and I'm so happy you think mommy is the prettiest because she is…" I hesitated for a second but continued "Would you do me a favor?"

"Yes." He said quietly and I kissed his tears away.

"Would you please tell that to mommy every day? That she is the prettiest? For me? Don't tell her I told you to, just… can you tell her that every morning?"

"Why can't I tell her you say she pretty?"

"Because… she loves you, so she'll _believe you_." I told him with a broken heart.

"She loves you too, you are daddy."

"Yes but… I'm sure it will mean more to her if you tell her." I smiled and kissed the rest of his tears away.

"Ok. It's a secret." He said and I chuckled.

"Yeah, it's a secret... Can I ask you for one more favor please?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes daddy." I reached down to my gym bag and pulled a small soft pink rose and gave it to him.

"Could you please give this to mommy from me? When you are on the plane?" A big smile spread over his face before he took the flower from me. I hoped Bella caught the meaning of the flower, she used to love reading about flower meanings, she was obsessed for a while after an assignment a teacher left her while studying at U of T.

"YES!" He said happily.

"Ok," I laughed "now, hide it in your backpack ok?" He nodded and did as I said, returning happily to his ice cream and I stroked his hair. We remained like that until Bella came out of the bathroom. Marie was up but sleepy still. When Bella neared she stretched her little arms to me and I put Andrew on the seat next to me and took her in my arms.

"Morning beautiful." I said kissing her head.

"Morning daddy." She said hugging my neck and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Andrew use your spoon honey. I don't have an extra shirt with me." Bella admonished him lightly.

"Sorry-mommy-I-love-you. And you look pretty today." He smiled innocently at her, Bella's eyes instantly melted and she leaned down to kiss his hair. Yup, he would find a way to do what I said and still work it to his advantage. He sure was a manipulative kid. Andrew looked briefly at me and I winked at him making him giggle. Then their flight was announced and my heart fell.

"It's time, Marie say goodbye to daddy. We gotta go." Bella said and Marie started to cry quietly.

"No."

"Marie, we have to go sweetie."

"I don't wanna go. I wanna be with daddy, I don't want my things!"

Bella's eyes watered and she tried to take Marie but she hugged me harder almost choking me.

"Marie, baby… it's just a week sweetie." She continued in a hoarse voice.

"I don't wanna go! I wanna stay with daddy!" she cried harder.

"Baby, I don't want us to be apart either but you have to go. I'll be here waiting for you, fixing your new house, I love you baby… you are my pretty little girl. I'll be here, I promise."

"But-but" she hiccupped "I wanna be with you!"

"We'll be together soon baby, I promise. Go with mommy" I took a breath to hold myself together "you are going to miss the flight."

"Marie, it's just for a few days, then we'll be back and you'll see daddy as much as you want." Bella said untangling Marie's arms from my neck making Marie to cry harder. I could feel my throat closing, my eyes stinging from the tears I refused to shed, wanting to be strong for them.

"I love you baby, I'll be here waiting for you Ok? It'll be alright. It's Ok baby…" Then I remembered my present for them. "Oh, wait a second I almost forgot" I said leaning down and pulling two small packages, Marie quieted a little out of curiosity.

I stared at the colorful packages for a second before handing the purple one to Marie and the red one to Andrew.

"This is for you guys, they used to belong to me and Uncle Andrew. I wanted you to have them." I turned to Marie "The one I gave you was mine, when I was your age it helped me when I was scared at night. I hope it helps you too baby, and every time you hug it you'll think of me and how much I love you and your brother Ok? It'll be alright sweetie, I love you." I said choking at the knot on my throat. It pained me so bad to see them go, I knew I was going to have them back permanently in a week but I still couldn't let them go. They were my everything.

"Thank you daddy, I love you." Marie whimpered.

"I love you too baby, more than anything." I said kissing her cheek and then crouched down to hug Andrew. "Remember our secret." I whispered to him "I love you."

"Love you too daddy. Thank you." He whimpered too.

I stood up and looked at Bella, Marie had her head buried in her neck, clutching her present with one arm while Bella patted her back trying to sooth her. Her eyes met mine and what I saw almost brought me to my knees as the only thing I saw was pain. I could only see pure and raw pain on those gorgeous chocolate eyes of hers, and I wish I could do anything to make the pain go away, because someone like her shouldn't be in pain, someone like her shouldn't have an asshole like me giving her more pain. That's when my father's words hit me.

"_You seriously thought I could bring that man to Bella? She needed support, not another fucking problem"_

"_You didn't see her… I couldn't do that to her"_

"_I couldn't bring a half of a man to her."_

"_She needed you strong, not groveling for what you did."_

"_Read between the lines, she doesn't want to be around you for a reason, she's still hurting for a reason. Instead of dwelling on it… do something about it. Enough is enough."_

Enough is enough.

So I braced myself and leaned towards her and kissed her cheek, making her go rigid and put my lips against her ear. "I love you pretty girl. Forever." I whispered and pulled away setting my eyes on hers.

She stared at me for a second with wide eyes, surprised by my advance and my words. After a moment she blushed and looked down furrowing her brows, then took Andrew's hand and turned without saying a word, making their way through airport's security. I stood there until they were out of sight and went to sit on a nearby bench, waiting until the plane's departure as I started to think about the previous day.

I had thought the day was going good, almost perfect. The kids had had a great time, enjoying the pool and the big garden and Bella had loosened up a little, chatting with the members of my family, and even though at first she had been a little quiet and apprehensive, by the end of the night she had been smiling and laughing carefree, I seriously thought that I had did it. That I had proved to her that we could spend the day together with the kids and that everything would be alright. That we could do this, but Rosalie had to fucking open her big mouth. Not only had she lashed out nonsense at her but she also did it with the kids in hearing range, making Andrew step in and Marie have an attack. The tension must have been too much for her, it scared the shit out of me when she panicked at the lack of oxygen and her heart beat went even wilder. Between the lack of oxygen and her heart rate… she could easily have had a heart attack.

Her last studies were made almost six months ago I made a mental note to talk to Bella about making her new ones. After all, that was one of the reasons she accepted to move back so easily, because I was supposed to take Marie's case. I know it's not ethical and I was probably being selfish about it but, she is my pretty girl, my little angel, I didn't trust anyone with her. I wanted to take care of her, to make sure everything was being done properly. But that was another thing.

How did we pass from being in utter content to pure hell in a matter of seconds? I still couldn't believe Andrew's bravery, the way he stepped in front of Rosalie and yelled at her. It worried me how much they had heard, if they understood what had been said. They didn't ask anything when we were on the couch, or now when we had said goodbye so I guess they were too scared to comprehend at the moment what Rosalie was saying and were just worried about Bella.

Bella.

I lifted my hand to rub at my chest instinctively when I remembered her face when I told her about my feelings and hopes last night. I could clearly see she didn't believe me, the worst part was that I couldn't blame her as my actions had clearly declared the contrary. She was right, and I never thought otherwise. Drugged or not it was still my fault and it wouldn't change anything, -that's what I had always told myself and why I didn't dig for information at first- but that didn't mean I didn't love her enough as she had said. It only proved what a stupid man I was, how immature and naïve I had been. I could blame it on my lack of social life and friends during college, as I had been very busy studying, taking extra classes and doing my residency after that to go out much and meet people. And in high school I had been so sheltered, being a momma's boy and all, especially after Andrew's death because of how alone I felt. But I couldn't really blame that for why I was being naïve, I knew Tanya. Her extravagant life was the main reason why we never worked. We were so different, and I knew what kind of stuff she did, I had witnessed it a few times and I would rather not think about. I knew I could never trust her, I knew the crazy things she was capable of.

Bella's flight left eventually and I stood and walked back to my car. I arrived to the clinic a little before 11 and headed into my office. I didn't have many patients for today so I decided to make a few calls to Alice and mom asking for help as I was signing the contract for the house tomorrow and I wanted their help at cleaning it so Bella wouldn't have much to worry about. I knew packing all their stuff there and moving was stressful enough for her. Turns out I shouldn't have bothered to call mom and Alice, as they had started moving already. Alice took Bella's approval to decorate the house thoroughly and she and mom had made plans for the whole week and she had nicely but pointedly asked me to keep my butt out of it. Which was good because I didn't know much about that shit either, Alice had decorated my house as well, it was her job after all as she had said.

The rest of the day went by uneventful, and I left the clinic by six and headed home. Once there I went upstairs to take a shower after the long day. When I was done I headed to the kitchen wearing only my favorite old pants and opened the fridge, trying to decide on something to eat for dinner. I stared at the fridge unsure of what to get as I hadn't had the fridge so full in years, a drop fell, when one of my eyes spotted Marie's half empty grape juice. She drank grape juice because it was purple and purple was her favorite color because it was Rapunzel's too so she had told me.

The door bell rang and I cleared my eyes and went to answer it. Wondering who the hell was at this time, I opened the door and saw Jasper with a large box of pizza. I stepped aside and let him in without a word. He went to the living room, put the box on the coffee table and sat on the couch and I went for two cokes. We used to do this a lot, before Bella came into my life. It was our buddy night pizza a couple of beers and Jeopardy, sometimes Emmet would join us too. But when Bella and I started to go out he wouldn't come as often or he would bring Alice along, as Bella and I were always together and he didn't want to feel like the third wheel. And of course, after that fateful day we stopped all together as I barely functioned those days.

"Here" I said handing him a coke.

"Thanks. You know, I came because I thought I should warn you. Alice might go a little out of control." He said playfully and I chuckled.

"When doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she is a force of nature…" He took a bite of his pizza "She was talking about a balcony or some shi-"

"Fuck." I muttered "I told her no fucking balcony, I saw the movie with Marie. I'm afraid she would jump out of it too." I said exasperatedly and Jasper laughed.

"I wouldn't worry about that, I would worry more about Alice's wrath… I think Marie is smart enough to not jump out of it." He said and I smiled proudly.

"Yeah… that she is, my little pretty Einstein. Still, no fucking balcony."

"Well, good luck with that."

"Thanks." I muttered.

…

…

"How were they?" He asked, playfulness gone.

I took a long breath and let it out.

"Andrew barely talked the whole way to the airport. Marie is afraid of Rosalie but I couldn't really talk to her. She slept most of the time, yesterday wore her out."

"Poor thing." He said and I took a sip of my coke.

"Tell me about it. I want to rip Rosalie a new asshole so fucking bad." I said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah" He laughed without humor "That wasn't cool, she should have known better… Shit, Marie scared us all… what was that exactly?"

"It was a hypoxemia attack. She got scared, so her heart beat accelerated… the pressure in the artery didn't allow the oxygen to flow through her blood at that rate impeding oxygen go through her entire body. At the lack of oxygen her heart beat went even wilder trying to pump it through her system but of course it couldn't because of the pressure so it went even wilder. If it had continued like that for a few more minutes…" I covered my face with my hands and pulled at my hair in frustration "Fuck! She is three and a half years old! What was Rosalie fucking thinking!" I said harshly throwing the pizza into the box, not hungry anymore.

"Shit, I didn't realize how serious it was when you first told us about it… I'm sorry, Emmet feels awful you know?" He added.

"Yes, he called me last night apologizing. He is at a loss he doesn't know what to do with Rosalie."

"I can't imagine not having kids… I'm scared as shit about becoming a dad but… at the same time I can't wait."

"Yeah, it's scary but pretty awesome most of the time… I just wish I could have really enjoyed it."

"What do you mean?"

…

…

…

"When I'm with them… I love it of course, it's the highlight of my day and I try to make the best of it but at the same times it hurts, knowing it's just for a few hours… that they have to go back with Bella at the end of the day." I said softly and he looked at me sadly.

"But, when they move here it will be different… you'll have the chance to see them more often. I know it's not the same but it has to count for something, right?"

"Sure, but as you said… it's not the same."

…

…

…

"I'm sorry Edward."

"Don't bother with that, I'm sick of people pitting me, I have done enough of that for myself." I said waving him off.

"No… I mean, I'm sorry I let you down."

"What are you talking about?" I asked looking at him in confusion.

"About that night… I should have made sure you arrived home safely."

"Jasper… you did, you took me out of there, stopped me from driving my own car and put me in a cab. It wasn't your fault, come on… how could you have known what was going to happen?"

"Still, I should have made sure you arrived home."

"I did arrive home… just not alone, it's not your fault… it wasn't as if you had to tuck me in or anything anyway, that wasn't you job. Plus, by what I heard you, Tyler and Emmet weren't very sober either."

"Still, I felt like shit… I should have been a better friend."

"Jasper, it wasn't your fault… who says Tanya wouldn't have found another way? We think she hopped in the cab with me, but you said you put me there alone so that lead us to believe that maybe she just followed me in another cab and then came into the house with me?"

"But, we took you out… that was wrong."

"You didn't put a gun against my forehead. I agreed to go with you… it wasn't your fault so stop it. The only one at fault here is me… and Tanya's crazy ass of course for drugging mine."

"Still, for what it's worth… I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm the one who should be sorry for how I behaved all these years… I missed my little sister and best friend's wedding." I grimaced remembering that day.

"You were there." He said staring at me in confusion.

"Just for a few minutes at the ceremony, and surely not in enough shape to return the favor and be your best man." I laughed humorlessly.

"It's Ok, it was a small reception anyway… and Tyler did a pretty decent job, even though Alice forbade me to have a bachelor party." He laughed without humor too and I grimaced again.

"Yeah, but at least I wasn't there to embarrass you with a speech…" He chuckled "fuck, I missed so much… I didn't even go to the rehearsal dinner." I said pulling at my hair again.

"It's Ok Edward, we understood. It was hard for you, the thing with the hospital had just passed and… it was a wedding. It surprised us that you even went to the ceremony honestly."

…

…

…

"I'm sorry I have let down so many people…" I said, my voice quivering. "Starting with her, not only because of what I did but in so many other ways."

Dad was right, if I couldn't even be there for my sister and best friend for their weeding, how could I be there for her after all we went through. I would have only made matters worse, but I still couldn't bring myself to forgive him… I just didn't see how, the pain was too much.

"Edward… as you said, it's time to look forward and not dwell in the past. It's okay to look back to and learn from our mistakes but don't stay there and drown yourself in guilt. They need you now too, that beautiful little pretty girl and thunder of a son of yours needs you strong. As for Bella, if you want her back, which I know you do, you need to bring your head out of your ass and be there for her too. She is the one that needs you the most, after seeing you all this time I can only imagine how she manages to cope. Putting a brave face everyday but being in shreds on the inside at the same time… she is still doing it. I could feel it when she came over last Sunday… she is scarred so you need to reassure her and be constant with her if you want to rebuild her trust in you. You knew this was going to be hard, you said so yourself, don't give up."

"I know… and I won't give up, it's just that I get so desperate! But I'm doing what I can… I told her that I still love her." I confessed and he looked at me cautiously.

"And by the looks of it I can tell it didn't go well right? What did she said? Did you tell her what Kate told you?"

"Yes, but she didn't believe me… and that even if she did it wouldn't change anything, I still did what I did."

"Ouch, I'm sorry dude."

"Well, I didn't expect less… She is right."

…

…

"So you really don't remember anything? Flashes at least?"

"Nope." I said popping the 'p'. "Nada de nada. I contacted the new centre were Tanya is though… she has been there for three months now. They don't accept visits it's specialized for people with really serious problems, hard core alcoholics and drug addicts. A place like that would resemble more of a madhouse or an asylum than a rehab centre." I snorted "Not even close family is allowed."

"Shit, when did Tanya go so out of control? You have known her longer than I obviously. I only met her because she dated you."

"She started drinking when we were in high school, she was part of the popular crowd so she started partying then. I never really paid much attention to her, I always minded my own business even though she was supposedly the hottest girl in school and close to my family but she seemed fake to me. I graduated earlier from high school and went into med school so I didn't see her again until years later on thanksgiving at my parent's house, you came with me that time remember? When you met Alice?"

"Yeah." He smiled lightly and I rolled my eyes. "But, if you didn't like her why did you even go out with her in the first place?"

"She seemed to have grown out of the party thing, so when she asked me out for a cup of coffee I agreed. I decided to give it a shot, what was the worst that could have happened right?" I laughed bitterly "Of course when she poured whiskey in her coffee I knew she was the same if not even worse. I dated her for a few weeks for the sake of our parents' relationship, I didn't want to just dump her but as you remember things got crazier. I discovered she wasn't just an alcoholic but she was also addicted to cocaine and some other shit. I wanted to dump her immediately, but you remember how she threatened me with killing herself or to make me a scandal with my peers at the university. When I discovered she was pregnant and had only wanted to pass that kid as mine, which I seriously don't know how she pretended to pull that one off considering we never had sex… then, I went furious and talked to Eleazar."

"Fuck, I remember that day. It felt like in a fucking soap opera."

"Tell me about it." I muttered.

"Yeah, when she tried to run you over with her car out of anger for going to Eleazar… jeez, even I shitted myself." I felt a shiver go through my body.

"Fuck that was crazy. If you hadn't seen her coming and gotten me out of the way… I wouldn't be here for sure."

"Yeah, it's a shame she lost the baby though."

"Well, with that crazy ass of a mother I think it was for the best. Besides, with the life Tanya had it probably wouldn't have made it. I'm actually surprised she managed to keep it that long."

"I can't believe you didn't press charges."

"Me neither, but Eleazar begged me not to, to please understand she wasn't in her right state of mind. I wish I hadn't listened to him now, but again I wasn't thinking for myself back then either." I said bitterly.

"You are just too good of a person."

"Nah, I'm more of an idiot."

"Yeah, a little bit of that too." He chuckled and I laughed too.

* * *

><p><em>2 weeks later <em>

"Alice! Where do you want this?" I heard Emmet yell from the foyer.

"What is it?" I asked walking out of the kitchen and saw Emmet carrying a big ass box.

"Who the hell knows… I think it's one of the boxes Bella sent with their stuff."

"Does it have a tag?"

"Let me see?" He said scanning the box "Oh, no wonder it's heavy… there are books."

"Put them in the living room, next to the book shelves." Alice said coming from downstairs with mom and Adam on her heels.

"Yes captain!" He mock saluted her and headed to the living room.

"How much more time do we have?" Alice asked me and I looked at my watch.

"Baby, I'm done with the windows. Do you need anything else?" Jasper asked and I tried to suppress a laugh at his sour tone.

"Go and help Emmet with the rest of Bella's boxes and take them to her room."

Alice had made us all come for the past 6 days at 7 am to clean, polish and shine the house. I was more than grateful for their help and support in this, even dad helped a little bit yesterday. Emmet had helped to put together all the tables, desks and chairs while Jasper and I helped with the cleaning and bringing stuff in and out. We were exhausted but it was worth it. The house was perfect and I was amazed about how well Alice knew Bella, as all the furniture resembled her. I knew she would love it. It was cozy and she had used warm colors for the walls and everything else. She knew Bella hated the cold weather from the winter in Toronto, so a cozy and warm house was perfect for her.

It had taken more than a week to get the house ready, so that was why after two long ass weeks they were finally coming back. Bella wanted to come and help, she said that she could stay at a hotel with the kids till the house was ready but I told her to not worry about it, to calmly finish all her business back in Ottawa and to leave everything to Alice. It wasn't like Alice was going to let her do much either way.

"Two hours before I go to the airport to pick them up." I answered her question "Then I'll take them to lunch so I guess that'll give you four more hours. It's perfect Alice, don't stress about it… we only have Bella's boxes left and I'm sure she'll want to unpack those herself."

"Yes, of course… but still, what do you think of the color of that wall? Should I leave it in that shade or a darker one?"

"I think it's perfect, and you have done more than enough. I'm truly grateful Alice, you did wonderful." I told her sincerely and she started crying.

"Are you Ok sweetheart?" Mom asked her and Alice started to whine, in a fucking, deafening high pitched voice.

"It's just that I'm so happy for you! And I want it to be perfect an-and pretty and I-I can't believe they are coming! I'm just so happy! Even though I'm still mad at you for not letting me do the balcony! But, oh my god… they are coming! After all this time!"

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around her, giving her a tight hug.

"Thank you sis, for everything… you are wonderful."

"You know I love them too… I just hope Bella and I can be friends again, as we were. I want her to know that I'm here for here too." She whimpered.

"She knows." I told her and kissed her cheek.

"Where do you want them boss?" Emmet interrupted carrying in a big box full of pillows and cushions.

"Don't you people have any imagination?" Alice spat and Emmet chuckled. "They go in the living room. Just leave the box there, Adam will fix them. And you" she turned to point at me "have done enough, go a take shower and get presentable. I picked out your clothes for you I left them on your bed."

"When were you even at my house?" I asked shocked.

"This morning before I came here, you were already here."

"Ok, thanks?" I said.

"Don't lose any time, go… you live a few blocks away but the traffic will be crazy on your way to the airport."

"Ok, thanks. See you tonight!" I said and stepped out of the house and walked to mine which luckily was only ten minutes away by foot.

It was a little past one in the afternoon when I arrived at Pearson airport. I got a pass and parked the car in the parking lot, after that I made my way to the arrivals area to wait for them just outside baggage claim. The plane had just landed so I hoped I wouldn't have to wait too much as I was impatient to see them, also a little nervous. Well, fuck that… I'm fucking a lot nervous. I didn't know for sure if they were going to like the house, we could always rearrange it but I just wanted to everything to go perfect from the start. Also, I was even more nervous because I knew this was a huge step, our lives were about to change even more than they already had. I mean, they were going to finally be here, in the same city, I'll be able to see them more, take them to places, and teach them stuff. Most importantly, they would depend on me and I feared of failing them again. Once in baggage claim, I saw a bench and went to sit there and tried to calm down.

An hour passed and I started to get anxious as they still didn't come out. What was taking them so long? Why weren't they here yet? Did something happen? Suddenly, panic set on my body. What if something happened to Marie? What if she got scared or the pressure from the plane got to her? Why weren't they here yet? I was about to go to and ask for information when a traveler walked out of baggage claim, making the automatic door to open and I caught a glimpse of Bella's hair on a huge ass line. The kids spotted me and started to wave and jump up and down enthusiastically making me laugh. Relief filled my body at seeing them safe and sound and I waved back at them. I laughed harder when I realized that Marie was wearing her princess dress. She looked so damn cute.

After another ten endless minutes, they were next and after an Air Canada's employee checked their luggage they walked out of the doors. Marie and Andrew broke into a run towards me and I caught them in my arms lifting them from the floor. They screamed in surprise and started laughing. It felt so good to have them here, better than I would have ever dreamed of. Just the music of their laughs was enough to send waves of calm, peace and happiness to my broken soul. I felt the knot on my throat again. They were finally here, staying for good. I was so happy, for the first time in god knows how long I felt happy. My babies were finally coming home. Even if I wouldn't be in said home, living under the same roof… they were finally here.

With me.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so we got to see a little more of Tanya and Edward's past. Yikes! She was a crazy bitch!<strong>

**So, a white pink Rose, according to some websites means Admiration and "I still love you and always will"  
><strong>

**Please review! From now on I'll be posting a teaser from this story on Fictionators every Monday. If you want more teasers don't forget to follow me on twitter! ****I'm currently writing a BPOV outtake from the wedding day, I hope I can have it done by this week so put me on author's alert if you are interested ;)**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	18. Chapter 18: She Will Be Loved

**And here it is! Thank you sooooooooo much for your last reviews! You guys are amazing! Really, reviews are the best part of being an author =))**

**Quick fic rec! I started reading "And Then There's You" by StewLuv last night and I love it! I always try to avoid HS Whoreward falls for Geekella stories cause they are so cliche but this one is soo worth it and a theme I've been looking for! So if you like drama and a little of angst (which if you are reading my story I guess you do) you should tottally go and check it ou. the best part is that it's complete!**

**On another note, some of you asked for more Edward and kids time, as in the last chapter there was hardly any. I hope this one makes it up for that!**

**I was interviewed for twificplaza, I'll let you know when that is up if you are interested!**

**Also, as promised BPOV has been up since last sunday, if you hadn't check it out go and see! It on another story on my profile under the name of "Broken Dreams, Shattered Hears" Let me know what you think of it! There is a little of B's back story on it!"**

**Thank you sooo much for my awesome beta cattinson! you are the best!**

**Every character belongs to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18: She Will Be Loved<p>

"**She Will Be Loved" – Maroon 5**

_I drove for miles and miles_  
><em>And wound up at your door<em>  
><em>I've had you so many times but somehow<em>  
><em>I want more<em>

_I don't mind spending everyday_  
><em>Out on your corner in the pouring rain<em>  
><em>Look for the girl with the broken smile<em>  
><em>Ask her if she wants to stay awhile<em>  
><em>And she will be loved<em>  
><em>She will be loved<em>

_Tap on my window knock on my door_  
><em>I want to make you feel beautiful<em>  
><em>I know I tend to get so insecure<em>  
><em>It doesn't matter anymore<em>

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_  
><em>It's compromise that moves us along, yeah<em>  
><em>My heart is full and my door's always open<em>  
><em>You can come anytime you want<em>

I saw a Marie and Andrew break into a run to me, clutching their teddy bears that I gave them last time to their chest. I received them with my arms wide open and lifted them from the floor. They screamed in delight, their cheeks a soft shade of pink and their eyes sparkling in joy. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I kissed them both and put them back on the floor, kneeling down to see them properly.

Marie was wearing her purple princess dress, with her little tiara of course and Andrew was wearing his usual clothes, -chocolate stains included- but he had two black lines over his cheeks.

"Hey sweeties, you missed me?" I asked them wiggling my eyebrows.

"YES!" Both cheered.

"I'm glad to hear that, I missed you too, ehm… Andrew why do you have 2 black lines on you cheeks?" I asked, trying not to laugh.

"I'm a soldier!" He said saluting me and I looked at him in amusement.

"What?" I asked dumbfounded.

"He saw Captain America last week on the TV. He is into soldiers now." Bella piped in making me look up at her.

Dear god… I didn't know if that was good or bad. I think pirates where a better choice.

"Hi." I greeted her.

"Hi."

"How was your flight?" I asked her while Marie put her arms around my neck and I stood up with her in my arms. Bella leaned down to pick up Andrew.

"It was good." She said softly.

"Where is your stuff?" She turned and pointed with her thumb to a man with a cart and three big cases. I hadn't noticed him at first.

"Mommy, put me down! I'm a soldier! I can walk!" Andrew complained.

"Sorry sweetie, we are in an airport with a lot of people. What if you get lost huh? Who is going to save me then if I get in trouble?" She asked smiling at him playfully.

"I don't get lost, and daddy can save you. He is the captain!" He argued back in a loud voice and I chuckled.

"No, daddy is a prince!" Marie said then.

"No, he's a hero!"

"He's a prince!"

"He's a hero!"

"He's a prince!"

"Why?"

"Because he is handsome and tall! And he can sing!"

"Who told you that?" I asked in surprise.

"Mommy." Marie smiled at me and I looked at Bella questionably.

"She asked me what you were good at." She said quietly staring ahead and avoiding my gaze.

"Daddy, would you sing to me?" Marie asked making me chuckle and a little embarrassed I had to admit. I never really sang I only did it a few times for Bella while playing my guitar.

"Not now honey, I haven't done it in years… and I'm not really good at it. You might get disappointed."

"Would you play piano for me then?"

"Of course, but I haven't done that in a long time too. I need to practice first." I told her.

"Okay."

"You guys hungry?" I asked "We can go for lunch if you want. Alice is still doing some last minute things to the house and she forbade me to take you there until she is finished." I said smiling at Bella.

"Okay." Bella said.

What was wrong with her? Why was she being so evasive and vague? She looked distracted, like she was thinking hard over something else. I did notice she was giving me side glances while she thought I wasn't paying attention.

"Are you Ok?" I asked her.

"Yeah, just tired from packing and finishing things in Ottawa."

"Well, we can have a quick lunch and then I'll take you home. I'd take you now but I don't think there is any food yet and all of you need to eat something."

"It's Ok, I'm not that tired."

* * *

><p>Marie wanted spaghetti, so I took them to a small Italian restaurant near the house. The waiter gave Marie and Andrew some crayons and a piece of paper and they started to draw while we waited for our food. The silence between Bella and I was awkward, I didn't know why but she was avoiding my eyes now that I had caught her staring and found what Andrew was drawing a little too interesting.<p>

"Are you Ok?" I asked her again for the umpteenth time.

"My head hurts a little." She said finally looking at me.

"Why? Are you feeling ill?"

"No… it's just that I didn't have much sleep last night."

"Why?" She shrugged.

"It's nothing." She said looking back at what Andrew was doing.

"Bella, you can tell me anything. Is something bothering you?"

"No. I'm just tired." She said ending the conversation.

What was going on? It frustrated me to no end. Did I do something? Why was she acting like this?

"Andrew, Marie…" I said and both of them turned to me expectantly. "Did you know there is a kid's playing area that way?" I said pointing to the other side of the restaurant, where I could see a couple of kids playing with some blocks and on a small slide. Marie and Andrew's faces brightened.

"Can we go?" Andrew asked excitedly.

"Sure, just be careful… if you need anything mommy and I will be here."

"Thank you daddy!" Marie said standing up in the chair to kiss my cheek and both of them jumped from the table. When they were out of earshot I turned to Bella.

"Talk to me." I said firmly.

"What? I'm fine, I'm just tired." She lied.

"You can't fool me, something is bothering you. I wanna know what it is."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I care about you." I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't say that." She said looking down.

"It's the truth. Now, tell me what is bothering you." She chewed her bottom lip, thinking about it.

…

…

…

"It's something Rosalie said." She confessed and I suppressed a groan.

…

…

"Bella, she was being crazy. You kn-"

"No, it's not about what she said about me, it's about what she said about you."

"What did she said about me?" I asked in confusion, trying to remember.

"She didn't… well, she was about to… to say something but you cut her off." She said, her brow furrowing trying to remember. "Something that you did a few years ago… something bad and why was everyone ignoring it?" I froze when I knew what she was talking about "What did she mean? What happened?"

…

…

"I don't know what she was talking about."

"You are lying." She accused with glare. "What happened that made her react like that, _you_ shut her up"

"It's nothing important."

"Don't be a hypocrite, you wanted me to talk? Now we are talking… what happened?"

…

…

…

"I was in the hospital." I said and her eyes widened a little.

"Why?" She asked and it was time for me to avoid her gaze.

"An accident… don't worry about it." I lied but she wasn't fooled. She was about to speak again but the waiter arrived with our food and I stood up to go for Andrew and Marie.

I knew I was just being a coward, but I didn't want her to know what I did. I didn't want her to know about that man I had been, I wasn't him anymore. I didn't want her to know how weak I had been and how self centered I behaved for the past four years. I didn't want her to be disappointed in me to have her find out how I had given up on everything. She didn't need to know about that excuse of a man that I had been. I would hate it if she pitied me.

"Kiddos, the food is ready." I called Marie and Andrew. Marie jumped from the top of the slide to me and I caught her. "Careful beautiful." I chuckled at her energy and took Andrew's hand and walked back to the table. Bella's face was deep in thought. Probably wondering about what the fuck Rosalie said.

Shit, I didn't need this now.

I had just paid the bill and was waiting for the change when the kids started firing questions about their new house. They had asked how their rooms were but I wanted to surprise them so I didn't really say anything which frustrated Andrew to no end. I laughed at his attempts to break me.

"Please daddy! What color is it? I let you play wiv my red soccer ball!"

"Sorry kiddo, it's a surprise." I smiled at him.

"Aww daddy! I'll give you the rest of my cookies! They are chocolate!"

"As tempted as I am about you offer, I can't… is a surprise and Auntie Alice would kill me if I told you."

"Please daddy…" He said making the pout. He puckered his bottom lip, his chin started to quiver and his eyes glazed. I was this close to give in but I held my ground.

"Sorry kiddo, not gonna work. I invented that pout." I winked at him and his pout disappeared immediately and was replaced by a scowl. It was too damn funny.

* * *

><p>After getting the change, we walked out of the restaurant and to the car. We put the kids on the back seat and I walked around to open the door for Bella, she halted a little, surprised by the gesture and climbed in quietly.<p>

"Everything is ready," I told her as I drove "You have a land line, internet and cable. All the bills will automatically be charged to my account, so you don't have to worry about them. If you have any problems with anything just tell me."

"I could have done all that you know?" She said.

"I know, but I wanted to do it for you so you wouldn't have to worry about anything. So the house would be ready when you got here."

…

…

…

"You are doing too much, I can handle something… you don't have to pay for everything."

"No, I'm not and yes I have to. Use the money you earn for yourself, you earned it… it's yours and you do enough by taking care of them and you are doing a wonderful job."

…

…

"Thank you…" She said quietly "and thank you for the house again. I really liked it, it's beautiful."

"I'm very glad to hear that, and you are welcome. Anything you want."

_I walked into my foyer and saw her shoes at the bottom of the stairs so I knew she was home. I left my shoes next to hers and went for a bottle of water, after taking a zip I made my way upstairs. The door to our room was ajar and I could see the light was on. I entered the room and saw her sleeping soundly on a fetus position on her side of the bed, she had the cover all up to her chin, it was November so the weather was changing and I knew she hated the cold._

_I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at her, she was so beautiful she could rival an angel and win for sure. I stroked her cheek softly with the back of my fingers, marveling at the softness of it. I don't know how long I stayed there entranced by her beauty. It must look weird for someone to just sit and stare at someone sleep but I didn't care. _

"_You like what you see?" She mumbled in a sleepy voice making me chuckle._

"_Sorry love, did I wake ya?"_

"_No sunshine," She said softly and opened her eyes, stretching a bit and turning on her back "I wasn't really asleep, just resting my eyes." I leaned down and kissed her lips softly._

"_You tired?" I asked worriedly while caressing her hair._

"_A little, it's just that between finals and work… I feel a little overwhelmed."_

"_I'm sorry, good thing you are graduating in May… and then you'll be looking for a real job."_

"_Hey! Who says serving coffee for strangers is not real work. You wouldn't last a day." She teased in a groggy voice._

"_You know what I mean pretty girl." I whispered and kissed her lips again._

"_I know… just teasing." She smiled softly at me._

_I leaned down and placed my forehead against hers, took a deep breath and inhaled her scent. She let out a content sigh and brought her hand up to caress my scalp._

"_I love you." I said softly._

"_I love you more. Now, go get your pjs and bring your ass back here so we can cuddle cause I'm freezing like hell."_

_I laughed out loud and kissed her pink nose._

"_Yes ma'am."_

We arrived at the house a little past four, traffic had been hell but I didn't really mind as I got to spend more time with them. I had really missed them and I wanted to make the most of every moment with them.

"We are here." I announced as I rounded the corner and Marie and Andrew cheered.

"Oh my god!" Bella gasped and I smiled.

"MOMMY! DO YOU SEE ALL THE FLOWERS!" Marie almost cried in excitement and my heart swelled. Mom and I had this great idea of renovating the back yard and the front of the house. We planted roses, tulips, chrysanthemums, freesias, heathers, hyacinths, lilies, orchids and stocks everywhere of every kind and color.

It was really magical.

"Wait till you see the backyard." I told them "and don't worry, mom's gardener is going to come once a week to take care of them."

"Wow, it's beautiful."

I parked the Volvo in front of the house and went to open the trunk to take their luggage out. Bella opened the back door to unfasten the kids' seatbelt and let them out. In that moment the front door opened and my entire family came out to greet them. Well, almost… Rose was missing thankfully.

"NANA!" Andrew screamed and ran to the porch Marie followed him but jumped in to my father's arms instead. Emmet and Jasper came to help me with the cases but stopped to greet Bella first.

"Hello sweeties! Oh god! You are taller since the last time I saw you!" Mom said picking Andrew up.

"I'm a big boy!" Andrew said throwing his arms in the air. "I'm sergeant Cullen!"

"What?" She asked confusingly.

"He's into soldiers now." I told mom as we approached the foyer.

"Really?" Jasper asked with a glint in his eyes, he was a history man and he loved great world war two.

"Yup." Andrew said popping the p. "And daddy is Captain Cullen!"

"And who am I?" Emmet asked playfully taking him from mom's arms "Can I play too?" Emmet said with a wide smile on his face, dimples and everything.

"YES! You Red Skull!"

"The bad guy? I love it!"

"Yes! Cause you big! But daddy's stronger! He's Captain!" Andrew clarified in his high chirpy voice and we all laughed.

"Yes I am." I said smugly.

After Bella greeted everyone they all but me, mom, Alice and Bella headed inside.

"Esme, thank you so much… the garden is beautiful." Bella said still awed.

"Aww don't thank me dear, Edward picked out the flowers anyway." Mom said smiling proudly at me.

"C'mon Bella! Let me show you what we did inside!" Alice said happily and took her hand, but I still caught a glimpse of Bella's wide eyes from what mom had said.

Everybody but mom left about an hour later as it was getting late. Alice went with Bella upstairs to help her un-pack while mom and I watched over Marie and Andrew. We were outside, Andrew was playing on the tire swing while Marie played with her new tea set that Mom got for her. Her dolls scattered around her. Mom came and sat on the steps next to me and gave me a mug with coffee. I smiled at her in thanks.

"So, how are things going on between you and Bella? She was quiet today."

"Yeah, she has been like that since I picked them up. She told me it was something that Rosalie had said but I know there is something else."

"What about Rosalie?"

"She asked me what Rose meant… about what I did… a few years ago."

"Oh," Mom said quietly "what did you say?"

"That I had been in the hospital, but that she had nothing to worry about… I didn't tell her why."

"Why not?"

I shrugged.

"Edward… do you want Bella to trust you again or not?"

"Of course I do." I said quickly, why would she even ask that?

"Then, how do you expect her to trust you, if you are not open with her too? That's in the past honey you are not like that anymore."

"It's not that simple mom I'm ashamed of what I did… I was weak, she swallowed her hurt and tried to move on for them and I just wallowed all that time, pitying myself. I'm not proud of that."

"Honey, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger… I do wish you'd have never tried that, but thankfully you have overcome that phase of your life, you went back to school and got your surgeon's license… yeah, you weren't yourself and I hated it but you weren't useless either, you learned to cope and lived with what you did in your own way, even though it wasn't entirely your fault you still took responsibility and punished yourself enough for what you did and that says a lot about you. That says that you really care and didn't mean to hurt her. She'll understand that, -not that it makes it right of course, you were an idiot for even thinking about it- but she will… confronting your weakness and fears will make you stronger, and that's what she needs… avoiding the subject only says that you are afraid and that's what you don't want her to see. _The truth shall set you free_, tell her everything, you weren't the only one who suffered in this, she knows about pain too."

"What if she reacts badly?"

"She _will_ react badly at first, what you did isn't a light subject, _you _the father of her children almost died but it has to be said honey. I'm sure she has secrets too, and if you wanna know what hell she went through these past years she needs to know yours too. You both need to get to know each other again you are not the same people from four years ago. Both went through hell and came back and that marked your lives."

…

…

…

She paused for a moment, letting me digest what she had said.

"You know sweetie, sometimes in life there are gonna be situations that will be out of our control, but is on us how we take them and how we act. Bella is broken, and your prime goal is not to be back with her, it will be to bring her back to _life_. That's what you have to work on. After that, you can try for a relationship with her, but in the meantime you have to save her from herself."

…

…

"You are right but… what if I fail? She won't even look at me, how do I start?" I said pulling at my hair in frustration.

"I can't answer that, but I have faith in you… you'll know what to do."

"Daddy!" Marie called, I heard her run to us and I quickly cleared my tears.

"What's up pretty little girl?" I said turning to her.

"You wanna play tea cups with me?"

"Well, that depends… what type of tea will you give me?" I teased her, trying to play along and she rolled her eyes in a very familiar way and mom chuckled.

"Daddy," She said in an exasperated voice "we are playing, s'only water. S'not real." She said in a _duh_ tone and mom laughed out loud. "Please? Play with me? You can have my favorite cup! It's purple!" She begged jumping up and down tugging at my hand.

"You know? You are too smart for your own good." I said and she beamed as I stood up and followed her to her little table in the middle of the garden surrounded by flowers.

* * *

><p>I was on my fourth cup of… <em>water <em>when Bella and Alice appeared on the back porch. Alice was beaming and Bella was smiling a little, when they saw me sitting with Marie and her tea set and an apron around my waist they burst out laughing I rolled my eyes at them pretending indifference but marveled at Bella's laugh. It was the first time I've heard her laugh for real since that day. Mom, who was pushing Andrew on the swing laughed too.

"Jeez! I wish Emmet and Jasper were here. You look sooo pretty with your pink apron!" Alice said giggling and I shrugged.

"Anything for my pretty little girl." I said kissing Marie's cheek making her blush.

"Marie, Andrew… come inside, it's getting late and cold outside." Bella said once she controlled her laugher.

"I think we are leaving," Mom said "Alice would you give me a ride honey? Your dad left with his car."

"Of course, let me grab my purse."

We all walked inside, and that was when it hit me. I didn't have much time left either as it was a little past six already and the sun was beginning to hide. I would have to go eventually home, and somehow it didn't feel as if I was going home. Home was here… with them.

Mom and Alice said their farewells and eventually left. When Bella closed the door she turned to the kids.

"Marie, Andrew… remember the drawings you were making for daddy on the airplane?"

"YES!" Andrew yelled.

"I left them on the little table in Marie's room with your crayons… would you like to finish them before daddy goes so you can give them to him?"

"YES!" Both cheered and run up the stairs and Bella turned to me.

"Kitchen?" She asked and I nodded, the atmosphere changing dramatically for a really tense one.

We stepped into the kitchen and she went immediately for the fridge. She opened it and scanned the food there, probably thinking of what to make for dinner. She took out some vegetables and some frozen chicken.

"So, how are we gonna do this?" She said with her back to me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked and she turned to me.

"About when and how are you going to see them… what works best for you?"

"Well, I'd love to see them during the week but… I'm at the clinic all day… maybe, -if it's Ok with you- I can try to come by for a bit after work if I get off early… and obviously I'm free on the weekends."

"Ok, that's fine… and they can spend the weekends with you. When would you like to pick them up?"

"I could pick them up Saturday morning."

"But… don't you work Saturdays half a day?"

"Not anymore, I changed my schedule."

"Why?"

"I want to spend more time with them." I said simply "Also, what about if we take them for breakfast on Saturdays, both of us… together so they won't feel like choosing and you can spend quality time with them on the weekend too."

"Ok, I think that will be good for them too. Marie stresses herself too much about our situation maybe that would help her to be a little more at ease. When would you bring them back?"

"Sunday night I guess."

"That'll be fine, ehmm… listen, there's another thing. I want them to start pre-school. I searched on the internet and there is a school with excellent reviews nearby that has a program for kids their age. It's more like day care but they still learn a few things and Marie can already count to ten and she knows some letters and can spell some words so I guess it'll be good for her. She was actually the one who wrote that word on the drawing Andrew gave you when you met them."

"How do you know about that drawing?"

"I saw them working on it when I gave them their dinner that night… and I saw Andrew giving it to you later."

…

…

"Ok… ehmm so, do you want us to go and see the school to see if we like it?"

"Yeah, when are you free?"

"Whenever you want, I'll be there."

"Ok, I'll call tomorrow to ask for an appointment."

"Ok, just let me know when then."

…

…

"Do you want extra help?" I asked after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"Well… you work and in Ottawa you had Jane to help you when it became too much. Would you like someone who can be here at all the time? Like a maid so you'll have more time for work and for taking care of the children? I'm sure Mom can help you to find one."

"A maid? I don't know…"

"Think about it, I'm not saying that you can't do it, it's only so you can have more time for yourself too. I know it must be hard to take care of the house, work and them all at once."

…

…

"I don't know… I'll think about it. I like to be in charge of the house."

"You still will be, it's just help. What if you need to go out quickly to run some errands or something and you need someone to watch over the kids?"

"I don't know, I don't like the idea of a stranger taking care of them either."

"We can find a reliable one, Esme can help you with that. I think Mrs. Cope's sister was looking for a job and we have known her for years."

"I promise I'll think about it."

"Please do. There is this other thing…" Shit "subways are not always safe… and I worry about them getting lost, not because of you but because I know Andrew is a force of nature… so I was thinking about getting you a car?"

"No." She said firmly.

"C'mon… I won't get you a sports one like last time," I smiled at her "I learned my lesson." I joked and she huffed but I could see the corners of her mouth twitch before she turned around to wash the vegetables.

"No cars." She said.

"Please… you can choose it."

"Edward, you just got me a house. I think the car can wait."

"Nope." I said popping the p "Bella, it's just a car and it's necessary. I don't like the idea of Marie and Andrew on a subway all day, much less at night. And you can't always rely on taxis."

"Subways are perfectly safe in Toronto, don't be paranoid." She argued back

"I know, and I'm not being paranoid… I just don't wanna risk any chances. I want the three of you to be safe." God, she was still as stubborn.

…

…

…

"You won't give up right?"

"No." I said, meaning it in more ways than what she had asked.

She sighed

…

…

"Alright, as you wish but _I'll_ choose it." She said turning back to look at me and reclining on the counter.

"Thank you." I said in relief "We can go and see them after checking out the school if you want."

"That's fine."

…

…

…

The awkward silence started again. She looked down deep in thought, I was about to say something but she interrupted me.

"Thank you… for the rose. It was beautiful."

…

…

…

"You are far more beautiful."

"No, I'm not. Its fine, you don't have to do that." She said, turning back to start chopping the vegetables.

"You don't see yourself clearly."

"I know what I see."

"Bell-"

"Daddy! Look! I did this for you!" Andrew interrupted coming into the kitchen clutching a sheet of paper in his little chubby hand.

"Daddy! I made one for you too!" Marie said coming in the kitchen after him.

"I kneeled on the kitchen floor and took the drawings to examine them. Marie had drawn some purple flowers and a puppy with big ears while Andrew had drawn… ehmm ok, I don't know what the hell he had tried to draw but it was beautiful nonetheless. It had a bunch of colors and shapes on it, maybe he would be a Picasso?

God, love _was_ blind.

"Wow, this is beautiful… thank you sweethearts." I kissed the top of their heads "I'll put them on my fridge." I said proudly folding them and putting them on the pocket from my jacket. I looked at my watch and saw how late it was getting, shit. I braced myself for my next words "Listen kiddos, I gotta go…" I soon as I said the words Marie and Andrew's faces fell "but I'll see you on Friday Ok? You'll be staying with me for the weekend." I smiled at them, wiggling my eyebrows trying to ease the mood.

"When's that?" Marie asked in a soft voice.

"Two days."

"I can count that."

"Yes you can." I chuckled "But I'll still call you at nights Ok? And I'll try to come by tomorrow before diner to check on you."

"Promise?" Andrew asked.

"I Promise." I said firmly.

"Why can't you stay?"

"Because it's getting late and you still have to have dinner and bathe and all of you must be tired. You need to sleep."

"Soldiers don't sleep, they guard!" Andrew said and I laughed.

"Yes they do, in fact they go to bed very very early so they can have enough energy to save the world next day."

"They do?"

"Yes."

"Ok, then I go to sleep now." I chuckled.

"Sure kiddo, just wait after dinner… they also eat food you know?"

Bella left the kitchen, and I saw how Marie stared after her… her mind working over something, I saw it in her eyes how she was concentrating.

"Would you give me a goodbye kiss honey?" I said and he eyes focused on me again.

"Daddy, what's your favorite color?" Marie asked and I stared at her confused at her change of topic and thought for a moment.

"I have lots of favorite colors baby," I said wondering why would she ask me that "I like blue… but I also love brown."

She scrunched her nose.

"Brown? That's a sad color."

"Well honey, there are different shades of brown… I like the chocolate type."

"I love chocolate!" Andrew said loudly.

"I love it too kiddo." I said, kissed them one last time and stood up as Bella re-entered the kitchen.

"I'm leaving," I told her but did nothing to move. I didn't want to go, this was home… this was my place.

"Ok… I… I'll call you tomorrow… to tell you about the appointment with the school."

"School?" Andrew asked with dread and Bella chuckled.

"Is not really school honey, it's more like day care… like the one I took you back in Ottawa, you liked it there remember?"

"Oh, ok… no school for me. I'm a soldier and pops told me I can work with him when me grow up."

"It's _I_ honey, not _me_." Bella smiled at him and then turned to me.

Shit.

I leaned down one last time to hug them and kiss them goodnight. My body was leaving but my soul was staying with them as well as my mind as I knew I wouldn't stop thinking about them, not even for a second. They were my reason for living, the most precious thing that had ever happened to me where here, in this house, under this roof… and I longed the opportunity to be able to stay. To take care of them personally, to watch after them… to have dinner with them, take turns to wash the dishes and watch TV… all cuddled up on the sofa until it was time to go to bed, like me and my family used to… I wish I could tuck them in, probably tell them a bedtime story so they will fall asleep. Then I would go to her, to our bed and I would slowly make love to her, cherish every single inch of her beautiful skin and fall asleep together in peaceful slumber. That's what I wanted I would give anything for that fantasy to be real. I wanted to stay I wanted to be here… I never imagined how hard and painful this was gonna be, when she had agreed on coming here I had been happy as I would have them close, and I guessed it was going to hurt but I didn't expect this… and believe me I was used to pain but this was something else entirely.

If something were to happen to them… I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

"I love you babies." I said as I stood up and hope they didn't notice the trembling of my voice.

"You want another hug?" Marie asked in her sweet small voice, I nodded and hugged her again fiercely, trying to maintain the tears at bay. I kissed them for the umpteenth time "See you tomorrow." I said as there was no way I was waiting till Friday, I would ask Heidi to rearrange my late appointments for earlier.

Bella walked me to the entrance and I turned to her, her eyes were void of any emotion. She had a mask… I knew her.

"I have a spare key, just in case of an emergency." I told her and she nodded, when her eyes met mines I saw her mask dissolve a little. Her eyes glazed but she managed to keep her tears at bay.

…

…

"Thank you Edward… for everything that you have done, for the house." She said quietly.

I nodded and leaned to kiss her cheek.

"The three most precious things that had ever happened to me are in this house. Please… take good care of them." I told her sincerely against her ear and turned around heading to my car before she saw me crumble. Once I reached the door I opened and lifted my gaze to the porch… she was still there, her eyes on me as got into the car and drove away.

I didn't wanna go to my house, I didn't wanna go to that dark hole so I kept driving around the city, watching people pass by, heading to their own homes to their families and loved ones. I kept driving without a course just numb… nowhere to go to.

I wanted to go _home_.

I didn't even bother to clear my tears as I knew more would follow. A light rain started to fall matching my mood. Time passed and fewer people could be seen in the sidewalks. I watched the clock in the dashboard and was surprised to realize that three hours had passed so I started my way back.

Or so I thought.

Fifteen minutes later and I found myself parking a few feet from their house behind a maple tree. The house was dark, they must be asleep already. I wondered how they were, if they were comfortable in their new surroundings, if they were having peaceful sleeps or if Marie was having a nightmare. I hoped she was Ok.

I sat there for about an hour, the rain was starting to pick up so I knew I had to go back but I couldn't. I didn't wanna leave them, I wanted to be sure they were alright and safe. That was supposed to be my job. I pulled at my hair in frustration and slammed my fist against the wheel wincing at the pain.

One mistake… that's all it took… one fucking mistake.

One fucking mistake to fuck up everything.

I wished I had a time machine… I wish I could go back… I wish… I wish I could read her mind and read all her secrets, all the struggle she went through and all what she was dealing with now so I could help her. Mom was right she wasn't herself anymore… she didn't truly smile, she didn't joke or sing or paint anymore… what did I do to her? How badly did I damage her?

Andrew… please, tell me what to do? She seems so emotionless most of the time. What happened to my pretty girl? Am I too late? Why did I doubt myself now? I couldn't give up, I just couldn't… I needed to fix her… I owed it to her and them. Andrew… please, tell me how is she. Is she really over me? Does she still hate me? Is she still suffering like the first day or has she healed a little? I know I am, even if my son and daughter bring me snips of happiness, the pain is worse every single day. It pains me to no end to see her like this, hiding behind a mask, so vulnerable… breakable. How do I bring her confidence back? How do I make her see herself clearly?

How do I make her love herself again?

It's still clear she is not completely over her disorder. I had noticed how she never looks at herself in a mirror and how she avoided the reflection of the windows while we walked through the city. How much pain is my pretty girl in? I wish I could see her without her walls up.

A sudden light brought me out of my musings and I lifted my head abruptly from the wheel. My heart had stopped, afraid that I had been caught. I squinted my eyes through the rain and saw that the light came from the kitchen window in front of the house. I saw a shadow first and then her… she was wearing a loose hoodie over a gray tank top and some loose pants. She rummaged in a cabinet looking for something and then started boiling some water.

_I woke up to the loud noise from the rain hitting the roof. It was still dark outside so I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and saw it was a little past three in the morning. I was feeling a little cold so I turned to her as I knew she must be freezing and wanted to warm her up with my body but she wasn't there._

"_Bella?" I asked in the darkness but no one answered. _

_I stood from bed and looked for my sweater on the couch where I had left it but wasn't there. I heard the clinking of dishes coming from the kitchen downstairs so I grabbed a blanket and wrapped myself around it heading for the kitchen. It was the end of November so even with the heater on it was freezing. I could only imagine how it was outside. I walked into the kitchen, my eyes hurting from the sudden light._

"_Baby?" I called her rubbing my eyes "have you seen my sweater?"_

"_This one?" She asked and I opened my eyes a little to see her drowning on my worn U of T sweater._

"_That one." I smiled at her "what are you doing up? Can't you sleep?"_

_She came to me quietly and wrapped her arms around me and I rested my head atop of hers._

"_No, I can't sleep when it's raining." She said in a soft voice, she sounded sad._

"_Why?" I asked her and she just shrugged. _

…

…

"_What were you doing?"_

"_I was making myself a cup of tea… to help me go back to sleep." I pulled away and tried to look into her eyes, she looked back at me but there was something in them I couldn't really decipher… but she did look sad._

"_Are you Ok?" I asked kissing her eyes._

"_Yeah… just… memories of Forks I guess, I miss my dad."_

"_I'm sorry sweetie." I said kissing her hair "Maybe we can invite him for Christmas? He can stay at my parent's house if you want." I offered, she still had her apartment even though she was practically living here now, but if he stayed at her place she would have to stay there too and I was a selfish asshole like that._

"_Yeah, I'd love that." She said smiling a little back at me. "And I'd love for him to finally meet you." She was beaming now at her new idea._

"_I'd love to, I just hope he doesn't bring his gun with him." I teased._

I must have seen this coming.

She hated the rain, she never slept when it rained which was weird as she had grown up in Forks and Toronto wasn't much better. I knew that it brought her bad memories, but she'd never elaborate on them.

I saw her pour the hot water on a cup, and then proceeded to put the tea bag in it. After swirling the tea with a spoon for a few seconds, she grabbed the handle of the cup but didn't move, she just stared at it intently. Then in a sudden movement she flung her arm sending the cup to flying to the sink, clashing loudly as it hit the hard metal, she reclined her elbows on the counter top and buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shaking incontrollable from sobbing.

* * *

><p><strong>OK, so here we go...<strong>

**Chrysanthemums for Fidelity, Freesias for Innocense, Heathers for Admiration, Hyacinths for Constancy of love, Lilly for Pride, Orchids for Long lasting impression (someone who caught your eye), Roses for Never ending Love and Passion, Stocks literally mean "You will always be beautiful to me" and Tulips for Uniqueness.**

**See?, I did my homework ;) Why he did it? The reasons are obvious but we will see him telling her his reasons =))**

**Please REVIEW! and don't forget to check BPOV!**

**Don't forget to follow me on twitter at tpec1991 for teasers and don't forget to check the fictionators(dot)com for a longer teaser on Monday!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	19. Chapter 19: If You Ever Come Back

**Hey guys! Sorry for the huuuge delay, but I'm on finals and didn't have the time to write and this is a important chap and didn't want to rush it ;)**

**Thank you soo much for you last reviews! And special thanks to my brazilian readers! I do understand a little of portuguese for the ones who reviewed in their language, and thank you so much for the ones who talked to me via twitter... **

**Also thank you sooo much for your good wishes on my psychology exam today! I think I did good! Now I have to study for my french final x.x!**

**Thanks to my awesome beta Cattison for her support and beautiful work! Love you girl!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: If You Ever Come Back<strong>

"**If You Ever Come Back" – The Script**

If you're standing with your suitcase  
>But you can't step on the train<br>Everything's the way that you left it i still haven't slept yet

And if you're covering your face now  
>But you just can't hide the pain<br>Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without, yeah

If the truth is your a liar  
>Then just say that your okay<br>I'm sleepin on your side of the bed goin' out of my head now

And if you're out there tryina move on  
>But somethin pulls you back again<br>I'm sitting here tryina persuade you like your in the same room

And i wish you could give me the cold shoulder  
>And i wish you could still give me a hard time<br>And i wish i could still wish it was over  
>But even if wishing is a waste of time<br>Even if i never cross your mind

I'll leave the door on the latch  
>If you ever come back if you ever come back<br>They'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat  
>If you ever come back<br>They'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on  
>And it will be just like you were never gone<br>They'll be a light in the hall and the key under the mat  
>If you ever come back if you ever come back now<br>Oh if you ever come back if you ever come back

_2 weeks later…_

Two weeks have passed since Bella moved back to Toronto. Two weeks have passed since I saw her break down in the kitchen, and for two weeks… after saying goodbye to them every day that I visited them … I have watched over them at night. Of course she wouldn't always come to the kitchen, only when it rained but still I would watch after them, until all the lights went off and until I was tired enough to go back to my place. I was just watching over them while they slept. That's what I told myself as I knew if someone else knew, they'll think of me as a creepy stalker.

Bella had called the next day, telling me of our appointment for the school, we had agreed that it was a nice choice and the kids started the following Monday to go there. Marie was very excited about it, Andrew not so much at first but by the end of the week he was as excited as Marie. He said it had more toys and that it was bigger than the one he went to in Ottawa. After the appointment with the school Bella, the kids and I had gone to visit some car agencies and Bella –after lots and lots of persuasion- decided on a red Volvo XC90 –Andrew picked out the color of course-, which was perfect for her and safe for the kids.

The kids had spent the weekends with me, and as agreed Bella joined us for breakfast on Saturdays before they came to my place with me. We had fallen into a routine, I would visit them every night after work and I'd stay until it was time for them to get ready for the night. Bella didn't seem to have a problem that I was there that much and I wouldn't complain or say anything about it. The first weekend I wanted to take them to brunch with my family, so they would see their grandparents but both had cried not to as Aunt Rosalie would be there. Mom had been devastated but of course I wouldn't force them to go, especially after what Rosalie had done and I kind of agreed with them. I didn't want Rosalie near them, who knows if she would explode again and it wasn't as if she had made the effort to apologize to them, I know she said she was sorry and I had told Andrew she wanted to apologize but that had been more for Andrew and Marie's sake. Rosalie had to initiate it if she wanted my kids to like her again, after all it was their mommy she had yelled at. I know she was truly sorry to them, but pride stopped her from doing anything about it.

Well, she could just go to hell.

My life was also getting back in order. I started to write for the Doctor's Journal again, much to my dad's joy. He and I were still on delicate terms, I was talking to him again but kept my distance. I still hadn't forgiven him.

It was Thursday in the first week of October and it was a busy day in the clinic. With the weather changing, all the raining and the fall coming a lot of kids were catching the flu or were coming for their shots. I was about to go out for my break when the phone in my desk rang.

"Yes Heidi?" I answered politely.

"Dr. Cullen, you have a visit." I sighed, I was tired and had a headache from all the crying while giving the shots and needed desperately to go out for a bit.

"Who is it?" I asked, hoping it wouldn't be another patient.

"You mother." She said and I could hear a smile in her voice.

"Let her in." I said, a minute later there was a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said as I turned off my computer.

"Daddy!" I heard two high pitched voices yell at me and my head spun to the door so fast I thought it was going to fall off my shoulders.

"HEY!" I greeted them as they rounded my desk to come to me.

"Hi sweetie." Mom said as she closed the door.

"What a surprise!… what are you doing here?" I asked, glad that they had visited me at work.

"Bella had to work, so she called me for a favor. I picked them up at day care and now we are going to have so much fun for the rest of the afternoon, right sweeties?" Mom said the last in a funny happy voice while tickling Marie.

"YES!" Both cheered and I laugh kissing their heads.

"Bella had to work? Why didn't she ask me to take care of them?" I knew she would need a nanny, but she was being stubborn about that.

"She knows you have work, and I had offered her my services when she first moved here… I don't get to see them that often, plus she also had a date for dinner with Alice later so it would be more than just a few hours."

"She's meeting Alice?"

"Yep." Mom said popping the p "Isn't that great?" She asked beaming.

"Actually it is, I'm glad they are getting reacquainted." And I was also happy about them starting to be friends again… I knew Bella could use one very much.

"I know, so… the reason we are here is to invite you for lunch. Are you in?"

"Of course, let me grab my coat."

"Yeah, it's a little chilly outside."

We walked out of the clinic and I got Marie in my arms and mom got Andrew in hers as we walked quickly towards mom's car as it was raining. I had to talk to Bella about getting them the flu shot now that I was thinking of it.

We took the kids to a nearby restaurant and had a pleasant lunch. Marie told me what she had learned at daycare and Andrew told me about his new friends. By the time I paid the bill the rain had stopped so I walked back to the clinic and Mom took off with them. She told me she had bought everything to make cookies with them so they headed back to mom and dad's house. If Bella had a date dinner with Alice I guessed I would have to visit them at my parent's house instead of theirs.

The day went by slowly and by 7 o'clock I was finally getting into my car and drove to my parent's house. I dined with them and my kids and planed on staying until Bella came to pick them up but then I realized if things were going well with Alice it could take hours and Marie was already yawning but she was forcing herself to be up because of me. So kissed my kids goodbye and headed back to my place by nine o'clock.

* * *

><p><em>We stumbled into my room. <em>

_I knew it was my room because it smelled like her. _

_My Bella. _

_She disappeared for a second and I called after her._

"_Hey!" I slurred. "Where did you go?"_

"_Just a second baby." The voice answered and after another moment she was back._

_She clashed her lips against mines while she struggled with my zipper at the same time, I took the hem of her shirt and pulled it up freeing her bra-less breasts. My tongue found them immediately and she moaned making me even harder. I licked her peaks, sucked and nibbled. My hands roamed her body frantically, pleasure evident in her constant moans. I reached the hem of her skirt and with a tug undid her buttons sneaking my hand inside her thong, she gasped when my fingers started rubbing her clit, spreading her wetness all over her inner lips. Her hands became frantic and she finally undid my pants and I pulled them off quickly. My heart was beating a mile per hour as my cock urged me for some action, I needed this… I needed it __**now**__. _

"_Now." I growled. "I want you now."_

_I could feel my blood concentrating there on my groin, aching and pulsing. I wanted her now. I was desperate. She circled my neck with her arms and I brought her legs up around my waist by grabbing her ass, feeling the heat of her core against me. I turned abruptly and threw ourselves into my bed. _

_And with a loud groan… I started thrusting. Hard._

_A scream made me open my eyes for a second and I looked down, my eyes meeting a pair of crazy eyes screaming from pleasure._

I woke abruptly panting and sweating.

Oh my god.

I sat down and brought my hands to my face taking deep breathes.

Shit.

I grabbed a pillow and threw it hard against the wall and pulled at my hair in frustration and anger. I started hitting my forehead with the heel of my palms trying to erase what I just saw but that didn't happened. Instead I started recalling all those weird dreams again, now putting them together. Making sense.

I fucked her.

I remembered now… at least parts of it.

I did fuck her.

I didn't know what to do with this _new_ piece of information, but I didn't have much time to think anyway as the doorbell rang bringing me out of my misery and dreadful thoughts and I realized that's what had woke me up in the first place. I looked at my alarm clock and frowned. It was a little before midnight, who the hell could it be? It was late and I certainly wasn't in the mood for a visit. The doorbell rang again and I stood up from my bed, grabbing a t-shirt from a nearby chair and putting it on as I was only in my sweatpants.

I walked down stairs and into the foyer, I looked through the peephole and my heart stopped. I took a step back and opened the door.

"Bella?" I asked panicking. "Did something happen?" I asked, my mind going through reasons why could she be here at this time. Did Marie have another attack? Did Andrew break a bone playing or something?

"I don't know, you tell me." Bella spat.

"What?" I asked totally confused.

"Why were you in the hospital?" She asked firmly leaving me no way out of it but I could still hear a ting of fear in her voice.

Shit.

"Bella… now is not the time… where are the kids?"

"I don't care about the time and the kids are spending the night with your parents. What the hell happened Edward?" I sighed.

"Bell-"

"What the hell happened? Just fucking tell me! If you won't Alice will, she is just giving _you_ the chance. Were you sick? Are you ill? Were you in an accident?"

"No, no, Bella stop" I interrupted her "it wasn't anything like that. I'm fine. Please come in, its cold outside."

"I'm perfectly fine thank you very much. Now answer me." She said harshly and I avoided her eyes looking at some spot behind her.

…

…

…

"Edward… what happened?" She said again when I didn't answer, her voice trembling with emotion while she fought her tears and I looked down in shame.

…

…

…

"Edward… I asked Alice and she told me to ask you. I know something happened… what is it?" I sighed again.

"Bella… it's nothing for you to worry about."

"The hell it is! What happened? Why won't you tell me?"

"I'm afraid of what you'll think of me." I murmured.

She stared at me for a few seconds, thinking about my answer.

"Why did you send me that Rose?"

"Because I love you." I said holding her eyes.

…

…

…

"If you mean it…" She choked "tell me the truth," her eyes were glazing "what happened? I know it's something bad Edward otherwise you wouldn't be avoiding it. _What happened?_"

…

…

"_How do you want her to trust you if you are not open with her too?"_

…

…

I kept staring at the floor, not daring to see in her eyes anymore. I couldn't bring myself to tell her what I did, to accept it for the first time out loud while looking at her eyes.

I didn't want too… but, I had to.

"I tried to kill myself."

Her gasp was the only noise in the entire street.

I didn't dare to look at her I was that of a coward.

"No you didn't." She said with a shaky voice.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"You are lying." She said in denial.

"I wish." I scoffed.

…

…

"Why the fuck did you do that!" She cried with angry tears.

I lifted my head.

"Why do you care?" I challenged her glaring at her now. For some reason, I was angry now too, with my dreams and what was happening now it was too much.

"Why do I care? You are the father of my children! Of course I fucking care!"

"Well, you never told me about them so I could as well have been dead for them! But for you? What difference would it have made if I weren't here?"

"Of course there would be a difference!"

"HOW? If it weren't for them, why would you care? Tell me? You told me yourself you didn't want me!" I yelled ignoring the aching pain in my chest. "You fucking left!"

"Don't fucking play the victim! I left because you cheated on me! Not because I didn't love you!"

…

…

…

"What about now...?" She remained quiet "Bella? What about now?" I insisted but she didn't answer "Bella…" I tried to reach for her but she took a step back.

"Don't touch me."

Fuck!

"Bella, I've been trying and trying… to show you… I have told you a thousand times I didn't mean to, it was a mistake, that _I love you_. You know that you just won't admit it because you are scared." She was about to say something but I beat her to it "No, let me finish. I know you are scared of me hurting you again but Bella, I won't ever do that again, I swear! I have begged for you and I've been doing everything in my power to give you anything you need and you keep pushing me away! What do I have to do for you to believe me? I'm getting desperate here!"

"What do you want from me?"

Is she serious?

"You! Don't you fucking see that? Fuck Bella, why is it so hard for you to believe? Did you really forget all that time together? All the times that I told you how much you meant to me? If you would just come inside you'll see what I'm talking about!"

"Of course I remember! That's why it hurts!"

"Then why do you doubt yourself!"

"Because it never made sense! I'm noth-"

"NO! DON'T YOY FUCKING DARE TO DO THAT! Don't you dare to put yourself below anything, much less from me!" I could literally see how she was making herself small again, how she was letting her insecurities kick in.

"WHY NOT! It's the fucking truth! Everyone I care about fucking gives up on me! Everyone always makes me feel like crap! Charlie doubted on me making it on my own when I came to college and my own mother told me I was a fucking waste! And then there's you!"

"But you made it through college and your mother was a fucking blind bitch! You are the most incredible woman I've ever met! Just look at the way Marie and Andrew look at you! You are not a waste, far from it! As for me, Bella I'm so sorry… I swear I never wanted to do that to you. What do I have to do for you to believe me? I've never thought less of you, it was my fault! _My_ mistake, not yours! You had nothing to do with it! You are smart, self-sufficient, beautiful, amazing and wonderful, you are not worthless!"

She was quiet, blocking me out. Forcing her walls against me, I knew it.

…

…

…

"I can't believe you tried to kill yourself." She whimpered and I pulled my hair in frustration, she was pushing me away again and I rubbed my face with my hand to suppress my groan.

"Aghh! Bella," I said in frustration pulling at my hair "If you want to change the subject that's fine, for now. But think about what I said. As for the other thing I'm so sorry… you have no idea… I didn't even think about it, it just happened… I looked for you… yeah, I gave up too soon but I was still waiting for you. I felt guilty I hated myself and everyone for what I did to you… I was sick of everything, sick of everyone pitting me and… I just couldn't live without you. I know I was weak but I didn't know where you were, if you were Ok, if you were safe… it was driving me crazy and I wasn't living anymore… I'm sorry, I know those are not excuses but… I just gave up on everything. I wanted to forget everything."

"And you thought killing yourself was the answer to that?" She cried. "God Edward! I thought you were smart!"

"I know it was a stupid thing to do! I know I was weak, but please Bella… don't you see? You were my world, no forget that… you _are_ my world, and I hurt you and I hated myself so fucking much for what I did to you."

"You should have thought about that before you fucked her then." She spat angrily.

"But that's the point! I wasn't thinking! I barely remember that fucking night! It was a drunken mistake and I was tricked into it! I told you about what Kate told me! Why don't you believe that?"

"I have my reasons, and nothing justifies cheating in my book."

"What reasons?"

"That's not the point the point is that no matter what happened you were stupid for what you did. Seriously? SUICIDE? If you say you loved me, then wouldn't you stop to think what that would have done to me? Jeez Edward, the guilt you would have put on my shoulders if you had succeed just because you felt guilty? Oh my god! What about Marie and Andrew?" She said hysterically pulling at her hair.

"I know! I told you it was stupid, but Bella… did you even listen to what I just told you? Yeah, I felt guilty… very fucking guilty but that wasn't the reason why I did it. You were my life, and you weren't here. I couldn't go on without you. You wanted the truth? That's it. I tried to kill myself… you were my life and you left. What was the point? I loved you and you were gone, I was just being a burden to everyone and you hated me."

"What about your family? Didn't you stop to think about them? God, what it would have done to Esme!"

"I know! I'm so sorry, I didn't think. I was just having a bad day."

"Fuck that! Everyone has bad days, do you think I didn't?"

"Fuck Bella, what more do you want me to say? It was stupid, I know… I didn't even think about it. I'm sorry."

She turned around and sat on the porch step with heavy sigh, her hands covering her face while she cried. I went and sat by her side quietly.

We were silent for a while, thinking about all that had just been said. When she was calm again I spoke.

"Everything I do… I do it for you, not against you. You were always my top priority, I know I made some fucked up choices, but those were my mistakes, not yours… and I'm paying for them, but you don't have to. You did nothing wrong, I didn't do it because I didn't want you, love you or because I wanted to get rid of you. I'd never want that." I chocked "I'm so sorry I dragged you and them with me in this mess, I'm sorry you are still suffering for what I did, I'm sorry for breaking us, I'm sorry for what I did to us and if I have to, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up for you… if you'll let me. I'll always be waiting for you, and I'll always fight for you. I just want a chance… just one and I swear you won't regret it. That's all I want, all I ask for, what I want from you… one more chance."

…

…

…

"Bella?" I called when she didn't spoke, she kept staring at something far away "What about you? What do you want?"

…

…

"I don't know…" She said in a whisper.

…

…

…

"I do." I said grabbing her face and bringing her lips to mines.

She fought me at first, but I held her firm, not letting her go. After a few seconds I felt her give in with a whimper and I took that as my cue and threaded my fingers into her hair, bringing her closer to me. Her lips, softer than I remember were warm against mines. I opened my mouth and took her bottom lip, searching, marveling at the sweetest taste. She responded by opening her mouth to me and I thrust my tongue inside her mouth making her moan, which made a current of electricity run through my body, burning and melting everything inside me. It was wonderful. Her scent, her taste, the feel of her, everything was amazing, better than I remembered. My dreams didn't make her justice. I caressed her cheek with my thumb and felt her tears falling down while our lips moved in perfect synchronization. With a shaking hand, I felt her touch my face and when her little fingers ran through my hair, responding my kiss I was literally in heaven.

Too soon for my liking she pulled apart gasping for air but my lips never left her skin. I kissed her tears away, her temple, her eyelids and nose while she breathed heavily and leaned my forehead against hers. Needing a moment too, without pulling away from her. I couldn't, I didn't want to. I have longed to kiss her like this for years, to touch her, to feel her breath on my face, to feel her heart beat racing in her chest.

…

…

…

"I need to go." She finally said breaking our little bubble.

"Bella?" I asked confused taking her hand, I didn't want her to go yet, never but she pulled it away anyway and stood up.

"I need to go… I need… I can't…" She turned without finishing her sentence and ran to her car. Leaving me on my porch steps while I watched her go away… again.

* * *

><p>"You could have warned me." I said curtly.<p>

"What?" Alice asked.

I was at Tim Hortons taking my break when I decided to call Alice.

"She came two nights ago after your date. Asking questions."

"I'm sorry, it never crossed my mind she would go immediately to you. I thought she would need time or ask you tomorrow when you picked the kids up. I was on my way over to talk to you right now."

"Well, she beat you to it."

"How did it go?"

"Well… I don't know."

"What do you mean? Did you fight?"

"Yeah, that and… we argued and talked at the same time. I told her everything, but she is still insecure. I don't know what to do Alice, I feel like I'm constantly trying to walk through a concrete wall."

"Be patient, what did you expect? That she would change her mind and forget everything in the blink of an eye? Give her time… She has been telling herself a lot of crap for four years, it's hard to leave old habits. But I think you are making progress, at least she went to_ talk_ to you."

"Yeah, but she wouldn't listen to what I told her anyway, I mean she did but she didn't believe it. I don't understand her, she came to talk or confront me –whatever it was- about what happened, but then when I told her the truth she wouldn't listen to me or she would act as if she didn't care."

"I think that's her way of protecting herself, she is trying to keep her emotions and feelings in check. She's afraid of being hurt again."

"Did you talk about me?"

"Not really. Just when she asked me about what Rosalie meant, but I thought you should be the one telling her about it. We mainly talked about us, you know? About what we have been doing these past years, I don't think she is ready to open up to me yet either. I'm your sister, she felt bad enough about what she put dad through, I think she doesn't want to do that again."

"That's bullshit, I'd respect your friendship. I'll understand you being her confident."

"I know that, but you know her." She sighed "She's stubborn and wouldn't hear it."

"Yeah, but please… try to talk to her. She needs a friend and she needs to open up to someone she trusts and knows that loves her. I'm sure her psychologist did her best but she still needs that other support."

"Don't worry about it. I'm on it."

"Thank you. Listen I gotta go, my break is almost over and Bella is bringing the twins for a quick check up."

"Oh! Ok, good luck! Bye!"

"Love you pixie, bye."

* * *

><p>"Andrew, it's just a small pinch. I promise it won't hurt." I said while kneeling on the floor of the reception and peeking down under the couch where Andrew was hidden.<p>

"No! NO NEEDLES!" He cried.

"Baby, its ok… I'll be with you." Bella cooed kneeling opposite me.

I had called Bella this morning with the excuse of arranging an appointment for the kids. We have talked about them starting a medical file with me and I took the opportunity. With the way she left the other night and not talking to each other for two days I didn't know where we'd stand or if we were alright. I didn't even understand her reaction at the end when she left so I needed to see her, to gauge her reaction to me.

To see if I had fucked up again.

The first time I called her she didn't answer, so I waited for few minutes and tried again. After the third call she answered and she told me she had been in the shower and I accepted her excuse not over thinking it. I asked her if she was alright and she told me everything was good. She seemed too calm, I didn't want to talk about our kiss over the phone, I needed to see her face for that so I didn't bring up the topic and neither did she. I told her about the reason for my call and she agreed, when I told her about getting the kids the flu shot she laughed and wished me good luck.

Now I understand why.

For the last half hour Heidi, Carlisle, Bella and I had been chasing Andrew through the whole clinic. Apparently he was scared to death of needles, something he got from Bella. And let me tell you he was one quick fellow, he ran, jumped and evaded us all while other patients and their moms watched in amusement. Marie had already got hers, she had cried but wasn't as difficult as his brother, or as fast. Poor Carlisle was sitting down now, trying to catch his breath.

"Kiddo, it's for your own good. Don't you trust me?"

"But I hate needles!" He cried.

"Sweetie, if you don't get it you'll get very very sick and then you'll need lots of shots. Do you want that?"

"NO!"

"Then, let daddy give you just this little one. I'll hold your hand baby."

"No, no, and NO! NO NEEDLES! THEY HURT!"

"I'll give you a lollypop." I tried to bargain "and I'll take you to the park on Saturday, we can play soccer again."

"NO! I said NO!"

"Andrew, c'mon baby. It's just one little shot." Bella said losing her patience. "You are a soldier right? Soldiers are brave."

"I'm on leave!" He answered back and I heard Heidi and Dad laugh at his wit.

"Andrew, if you don't come out at the count of three you'll be in trouble." Bella said seriously on mommy mode.

"NO!"

"Ooone…" Bella started.

"Please mommy!"

"Twooo."

"Why don't you get one too?"

"Three! C'mon help me move the couch." Bella said standing up and Dad and I lifted the couch while she took a wailing Andrew in her arms.

After the ordeal was over, I gave a whimpering Andrew and Marie a lollypop each after kissing their heads and complimenting them on their braveness.

"I'm a soldier, soldiers are brave." Andrew harrumphed and I fought my laugher.

I stood up and turned to Bella.

"You know, he was right… you need to get yours too." Bella's eyes widened for a second.

"I already got mine." She said too innocently.

"Sure you did." I called her out on it and she fought a smile.

"Next time, we gotta go. It's starting to rain and the weather channel said there was going to be a storm tonight."

"Ok, then go before you get caught in the rain. I'll try to make it tonight but I still have lots of patients, I'll be there if I can make it before the storm hits."

"It's alright, they'll understand." She said but her face fell a little.

…

…

"You look beautiful by the way." I said, complementing her on the dress. It was a brown strapless knee long dress. The color matched her eyes and it contrasted beautiful with her skin.

"Thanks." She said blushing "Marie picked it out for me… she insisted I wore it today." She said, chuckling at the memory and I looked down to Marie. She just smiled innocently at me but I knew something was hidden behind her charade. I shook my head and turned back to Bella.

"I'll try to be there." I said trying to reassure her and searched her eyes but she avoided me and took Marie and Andrew's hand. "We need to talk… about the other night."

She thought for a second and then nodded.

"It's ok, let's go sweeties."

* * *

><p>I squinted my eyes through the windshield trying to see the road ahead of me. It was pouring buckets, it had been a long time since a storm like this. It took me longer than it used to get home, the clock on my dashboard said it was a little past nine so I called Bella but she told me the kids were already asleep, I apologized and promised to stop over tomorrow morning.<p>

Once I entered my house, I took off my shoes and headed for the shower to warm my body as it was freezing outside. After that I headed downstairs and just as I stepped into the kitchen a loud thunder resonated through the whole city.

Thunderstorm, great.

As I made my dinner my mind kept going back two nights ago. To that kiss, I don't know what had possessed me to do it, I just did it. I was trying to make my point, I wanted to test her, and I wanted to know what she was feeling, what she thought as she wasn't telling me out loud.

She had responded to it.

It had meant the world to me, I had been waiting for that and I hoped that I hadn't scared her away. I know I had taken her by surprise and I hoped this wouldn't backfire and she would push me even farther away. That's why I had made her come to the clinic today, to see how she was doing but to my utter surprise she acted like nothing had happened.

It hurt a little.

I noticed her staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking but apart from that she acted like any other day. We would only talk about the kids, or about something regarding the house or the kid's school but that was it. Nothing gave signs of her being angry at me for kissing her or happy about it. It was so frustrating.

Another loud thunder made me jump and I dropped the jar of mayonnaise. While I cleaned the mess I wondered how they were. I know Bella wouldn't be able to sleep but what about Marie and Andrew? Where they scared too? I was washing my hands when another thunder crashed in the distance and all lights went off.

Fuck.

I peeked through the window and all light from the street were off. I opened a cupboard and grabbed a flashlight and went for my phone. I called to the electricity company and the guy told me that a thunder hit a post so they didn't know when the power will be back. I hung up and called Bella.

"Edward?" she answered within the first ring.

"Yes, are you alright? Did your power turn off too?"

"Yeah… uhm wait a second."

"_I'm coming sweetie… ouch! Shit…" _I heard her say in the background.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, Marie is scared and I can't see anything with this damn blackout."

"Don't you have a flashlight?"

"I don't think so, if I do I don't know where Alice put it."

"_Mommy!" _I heard Andrew cry now.

"_Coming baby! Marie, come with me sweetie."_

"What about candles?" I asked stupidly, worried about them being in the dark.

"I only have the ones Alice used as decoration, I prefer being in the dark than her slaughtering me for ruining them." I chuckled.

"Good point. I'll be there in two minutes."

"What? No, it's a hell outside."

"It's only a few blocks and I have extra flashlights, I don't want you or them to stumble through the whole house. You might get hurt."

"Edward," she sighed "that is to-" She was interrupted by a loud thunder and I heard the three of them yelp and Marie's hysterics cries.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said and hung up.

I took my flashlight and run upstairs, I put my sneakers on, changed into a pair of jeans and put on my old U of T sweater with my raincoat on top. I stepped out of my house and ran to my car with three flashlights on a plastic bag, once inside I turned on my car and headed home.

I parked on the free spot next to her car in the driveway I saw Andrew and Marie peeking through a window at the front of the house while I made my way to the door. Before I reached the porch Bella opened the door and let me in. Andrew and Marie launched to me hugging my knees when another thunder crashed in the sky.

"Daddy, I'm scared." Marie cried.

"I'm here baby."I said turning a flashlight on and illuminating her gorgeous face.

"Can I have that?" She whimpered

"Of course sweetie." I said handing it to her "This one is for you kiddo." I said giving the red one to Andrew. "Here" I said giving the last one to Bella.

"Thank you." She said and the loudest thunder yet hit, illuminating the house for a second making Andrew and Marie scream.

"Daddy! Please stay!" Marie begged clutching my leg.

I lifted my head in search of Bella, silently asking for permission. Begging her to let me stay. I hated seeing them so distressed.

She nodded and my heart swelled.

"Ok baby, I'll stay."

* * *

><p><strong>Remember that talk I promised you a few chapter ago? Well... guess what's coming next chapter?<strong>

**Sooo... They kissed! Would that bring them together or break them apart? Edward might get a little break for a few chapters, but I'm sorry to tell you the angst is not over yet, there are still a few mysteries to be solved and hearts to be repaired...**

**Bella's dress and cars are on my profile, and if you haven't read Bella's point of view of the wedding day go and check that out!**

**PLEASE! Leave a review! If you leave me some love I promise to have chapter 20 by Sunday night!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**Tpec**


	20. Chapter 20: 18th Floor Balcony

**Jeez guys! I asked for love and you nearly threw dynamites at me! lol!**

**Anyways... as promised here is chapter 20, this is one of those chapter where if you listen to the song it'll help you to set the theme ;)**

**You know... before I started writing this story I had visions of certain scenes that I wanted to create, and those scenes were the ones that motivate me to write this story, I wanted them so badly to come to life so that's why I started with One More Chance. One of those scenes was Edward meeting his kids at the park, this chapter is basically the other scene I envisioned. Thats why the talk took so long, I needed to come to this night for them to talk. **

**Thank you soo much for your reviews! Even if you hated me for Edward's dream, there is a HEA to this story. Please have faith in me and read carefully! I do have a plan!**

**It still amazes me the response my story have had, and I'm still surprise with every review, I love how some of you think Edward is and idiot and his excuses are not enough and how some others wish Bella to be burned alive. **

**Also, some of keep asking why the Cullens blamed Edward, they didn't... I said it in the first chapters how they tried to help him but he didn't want it. Only Alice was mad at him but for him being stupid and getting himself in that situation and hurting her best friend, she didn't blame him totally. And she was the one who started asking questions, she looked for Tanya first and talked to Kate after the scandal. And Carlisle was just being hard on him because he wanted him to man up and stop whipping.**

**Aaaaanyway... here it is!**

**Thanks to my awesome betta Cattinson for doing this within the hour!**

**And special thanks to Lissopera for pre-reading this and for your awesome and beautiful words!**

**Also thanks to my brazilian friends for their awesome support! and special thanks to Renata Nunes!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 20: "18th Floor Balcony"<p>

"**18****th**** Floor Balcony – Blue October"**

I close my eyes and I smile  
>Knowing that everything is alright<br>To the core  
>So close that door<br>Is this happening?  
>My breath is on your hair<br>I'm unaware  
>That you opened the blinds and let the city in<br>God, you held my hand  
>And we stand<br>Just taking in everything.

And I knew it from the start  
>So my arms are open wide<br>Your head is on my stomach  
>And we're, we're trying so hard not to fall asleep<p>

But Here we are  
>On this 18th floor balcony...<br>we're both flying away.

So we talked about mom's and dad's  
>About family pasts<br>Just getting to know where we came from  
>Our hearts were on display<br>For all to see  
>I can't believe this is happening to me and,<br>I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours  
>That I was so yours for the taking<br>I'm so yours for the taking and  
>That's when I felt the wind pick up<br>I grabbed the rail while choking up  
>These words to say and then you kissed me... (yeah)<p>

And I'll try to sleep  
>to keep you in my dreams<br>'Till I can bring you home with me  
>I'll try to sleep<br>and when i do I'll keep you in my...dreams

"_Ok baby, I'll stay."_

Marie stretched her arms towards me indicating me to carry her.

I did it gladly.

"C'mon, let's take them to my room." Bella said taking Andrew with her.

"But don't leave!" Andrew cried just as another thunder hit the sky.

"No honey, daddy and I will be there." Bella cooed as we made our way upstairs.

We entered Bella's room, I wish I could see it better, as it was the first time I was there since they moved but I couldn't because of the darkness. Bella laid on her bed with Andrew and motioned me to do the same, I did it with Marie never letting go of my shirt. They both yelped when another thunder hit and Bella cooed.

"Shh… it's alright" She whispered in her mommy's voice patting Andrew's back.

"Mommy?" Marie said against my neck as she still had her face buried in it.

"Yes baby?"

"Would you sing to me?"

"Which one, honey?"

"The one you always sing to us."

"Sunshine?" Bella asked and I could hear a little nervousness in her voice.

"Yes."

Bella took a deep breath, getting some courage and then in a small but sweet and beautiful voice she started singing.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… you make me happy when skies are gray… You'll never know dear, how much I love you… please don't take my sunshine away…"

She kept singing while I held my tears. Did she know what that song meant to me? To us? When the song ended we stayed silent, with me caressing Marie's hair and Bella making comforting noises every time a thunder hit scaring them. After a while they fell asleep while Bella and I stared at the ceiling in awkward silence. I looked at my watch and saw that an hour had passed already, it was almost midnight. Suddenly, she carefully took Andrew from her chest and put him on the bed slowly standing up.

"Can't sleep, I'll make some tea… you want some?" She whispered so they wouldn't wake up.

"Sure, I'll be down in a second." I whispered back needing a moment to myself she nodded and went down stairs with her flashlight in hand.

"_What's up with you and pop tarts?" I asked as we stumbled our way upstairs._

"_Don't know, but I'm afraid I'll have to go naked for the wedding… by this rate the dress won't fit me." She complained playfully._

"_You sure will make an impression." I said nuzzling her neck from behind making her giggle._

"_Don't you have flashlights? I can't see a damn, even with your phone."_

"_Sorry, I don't… but I'll get a bunch for next time." I smiled at her even though she couldn't see me._

_We entered our room and Bella threw herself on our bed, putting the box of pop tarts on her bedside table and I threw myself playfully a top of hers._

"_Hey!" I greeted her playfully._

"_Hi there!" She giggled and kissed me chastely on my lips. "I'm kind of starting to like blackouts they definitely have benefits." She said sneaking her hands under my sweatpants and grabbing my ass while circling my waist with her legs._

_I kissed her soundly._

"_You don't need blackouts for that pretty girl." _

"_I know sunshine, but it's more exciting this way."_

"_You are weird." I chuckled._

"_But you still love me." She said kissing me._

"_That I do." I kissed her back._

_A thunder hit and she yelped while I laughed out loud._

"_Shut up!" She chastised me "You know I hate storms…"_

_I looked at her and saw how her humor was gone and was replaced for a somber one._

"_I'm sorry baby… do you want me to sing for you again?"_

_Every time it rained I would sing for her, don't know why but it calmed her. She said it made her forget._

"_Do you mind?"_

"_No, as long as you are Ok I'll do anything you want."_

_She kissed me thanking me and I rolled us so she could rest her head on her spot on my chest. We got comfortable and I started humming her song for when it rained._

_Sunshine._

I entered the kitchen and sat on a barstool, Bella turned from the stove and handed me a cup of tea.

"Thanks." I said and she nodded. She helped herself a cup from the kettle and sat across the kitchen island in front of me.

…

…

…

"You still hate thunderstorms?" I asked even though I knew the answer, just to break the silence.

"Yeah…" She said lost in thought.

"Why was that? You never told me." I said, trying to make conversation but she just shrugged still staring off into space.

…

…

…

"Bella, why are you being like this?" I asked, hurt by her indifference and she turned to me.

"What do you mean?" She asked confusedly.

"You know what I mean… evasive… not answering your phone… ignoring me, if it's because of the other night… I'm sorry if I offended you." I said referring to the kiss.

"Oh, no, I'm… ughh…" she let out an exasperated sigh "I'm not mad… I'm not doing it on purpose I swear I was just… lost in thought."

"What were you thinking about?"

"Marie."

"What about her?" I asked worriedly, had she been feeling ill?

"I don't know… I think… she's been a little lonely she doesn't spend much time with other kids… I know she is shy but I worry. I know her condition doesn't let her play like other kids do but there are still a lot of things she can play at, but her teacher told me she just spends her breaks alone with her dolls… I'm worried our situation is taking a toll on her."

"Yeah, I noticed that last Saturday when I took them to the park."

"What should we do?"

"Maybe we can talk to her, ask her what's bothering her and try to help her… then if it doesn't work we can talk to the school's counselor for guidance."

"Ok… we can try that."

"How is Andrew feeling?"

"Well, he hasn't gotten himself in trouble for two weeks in a row… I think that's good news." She joked and I laughed.

"I still can't believe he cut his teacher's hair."

"Yeah, thank god I don't have to face her ever again… it mortified me every time I dropped them at day care and I caught a glimpse of her new pixie do. Alice can pull that off but she certainly can't."

…

…

…

"Do you ever wonder… how things would have been if… if you know? If we-"

"No, not really." She interrupted.

"Why?" She took a moment to answer, thinking about what to say.

…

…

She stood up straight and held my gaze.

"Because… what happened happened and… things are the way they are and… it'll hurt to think otherwise." She lowered her eyes at the last part.

"Yes, what happened happened but… things could be different now you know? If you wanted." I said, hoping she would see how much I meant that. Hoping that she would see how much I wanted that.

"Please, don't start." She said a little sharply.

"Why not?" I insisted.

…

…

"It's not just about me not wanting it Edward… it's more complicated than that."

"How so?" I knew the answer I just wanted her to say it out loud so I could put my plan into action. What Mom had suggested when she first moved here.

"Edward… it has been _four_ years… a lot of things happened… we are not the same people from all those years ago. At least I know I'm not."

"I agree but, we could get to know each other again… even if it's not for us, for them, you know? Start over…"

…

"Edward… I don't think we even knew each other completely back then… we were young and… we got engaged too soon."

"That doesn't make it unreal, I still loved you back and I love you now… so how about we start now?" I said and she kept quiet, thinking about what I told her.

…

…

…

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked tentatively after a few seconds, taking my chance.

She nodded.

"Where did you go? When you left the house? You had nothing with you."

…

…

…

She waited, she knew what I was trying to do so she studied me for a moment… I don't know what she saw on my face but after the longest minute ever she thankfully answered my question.

"Esme came after me… I… I didn't want to talk to anyone so I hopped into a cab. It dropped me at the bus station and I bought the first ticket that would take me away." She said quietly.

…

…

…

"How did you pay for everything...? Before Dad."

"I had some savings from when I worked while in college… and Charlie sent me some money."

…

…

…

"When did you find out? That you were pregnant?" I couldn't believe she was actually answering me my questions.

She was trying.

…

…

"Remember that morning… when you where playing your piano, the morning after my graduation?"

"Ye-e-s." I heard myself said in a strangled voice. I remembered that morning, I had made fun of her stained face. "You had been painting."

"Yeah, well… while you were playing… I took a test…"

Now her behavior made sense, how she had said her small vows… and how she had cried.

"I'm sorry… I didn't realize." She shrugged.

"It's Ok I kept it a secret too… I wanted to surprise you." She let out a humorless laugh "I even had the cheesiest plan on how to tell you."

"How?" I asked in wonder as my eyes filled with tears.

"It doesn't matter." She shrugged it off and walked to open the fridge she took a bottle of water and took a sip giving me her back.

"Please… tell me."

"Edward… it was just a stupid thing. It doesn't matter… really." She said turning around and leaning against the countertop crossing her arms over stomach.

"Please Bella… I wanna know." She took a deep breath, thinking about it.

…

…

…

"Remember our plans for… before going to the airport?"

"We were supposed to grab a quick lunch at café crepé." I prompted and she nodded, a single tear fell from her left eye and she quickly dried it with the back of her hand.

"I had made… painted a cup… myself… at the bottom it said _"Congrats Daddy"… _the day before the wedding I went to the restaurant and gave it to Franco, he was going to serve your ice cream in it."

I buried my face in the palm of my hands, fighting the wave of pain that threatened to shatter my soul.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I whimpered.

Yeah, I fucking whimpered.

…

…

…

"I'm sorry too." She said.

"For what?"

"For keeping them from you… I know my excuses are not enough… and I know I did wrong but… I just couldn't see you… it hurt." She said in a whisper, I had to give her credit this was so hard on her.

…

…

"Yes… you should have told me… but… I forgive you." I said sincerely.

"Why?" She asked trying to control her shaky voice.

"Because I understand… I know you didn't do it with malice."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you… and because you told them about me and you asked dad for help."

"How can you be so forgiving?" she asked incredulous.

"I don't know… I just… I understand why you did it and I don't wanna fight anymore. Besides… I'm thinking about them too… they are already suffering as it is… imagine if I was mad at you how much more they would suffer."

…

…

…

"What did you do when I left?" she asked and I could tell how much it took for her to ask that, but finally… she was trying too.

"I broke the centerpieces."

"Really? Why?"

"I was mad… I went crazy and just started to throw stuff around." I said as I looked at the scars on the knuckles of my right hand.

…

…

…

"What… about her?" She asked and I lifted my gaze, she was looking intently at the floor tiles.

…

…

…

I took a deep breath.

"Alice gave her hell… and then kicked her out. I was just numb… I couldn't believe what was happening so I don't remember much."

And stayed numb for four fucking years.

"Where is she now?"

"Vancouver… rehab." _Again._

"How do you know?"

"I've been trying to contact her." I confessed.

"Why?" She asked and I could hear some fear in her voice. Why was that?

"Bella, I don't remember much of that night… I want answers, I want to know for sure what happened… so I've been trying to contact her but, she is not allowed to take calls or visits… not even from her family."

…

…

…

"Te… tell me… about that night." She whispered.

…

…

Oh God.

…

…

I took another deep breath preparing myself, this was it. She was hearing me out.

"I don't remember much… mostly is about what Jasper told me."

"Go on." She prompted quietly with her eyes on mines.

So I told her.

Everything I knew, everything I remembered and everything I had been told. Of course I didn't tell her about my last dream, didn't think the specifics about how _it_ happened were needed. But I did tell her about how I thought she got in the cab when Jasper left me there and that's how she ended in the house. She was crying quietly by the end of the story and we kept quiet for a while, neither of us saying anything and I gave her time to think. Even I needed it.

I felt a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders as the last words left me. She had finally heard me out I had finally told her everything. I finally got it out even though it didn't make me feel less guiltier it certainly made me feel more lighter.

"I saw you once… well… twice but… it was the same day." She confessed then and I lifted my eyes to her really surprised. I haven't expected that.

"Really? When?"

"About a week before you came to Ottawa… I had come to find you… I wanted to tell you about them and was on my way over to the clinic to ask you if we could meet when I spotted you in Tim Hortons… I got scared and hid in a store across the street. I tried again later that day but saw you talking with Alice."

"Why were you scared?"

"I don't know, the place, your reaction… everything. I didn't know how you'd take it… or if you'd even agree to see me."

"Bella… of course I would have agreed to meet you." She shrugged her shoulders.

"I know that now… but I wasn't sure then."

Another thunder hit and she jumped a little making me chuckle and she rolled her eyes at me, the beginnings of a smile on the corner of her mouth.

…

…

"I can't believe you still have that sweater by the way." She said changing the subject to a lighter one.

"Yeah." I laughed "It's my favorite… you used to love it too if I remember correctly." She blushed a little.

"Where are my boxes by the way?"

"Your boxes?" I asked confused.

"Yeah, the boxes with my things… where did you put them? Are they in your basement or did you throw my stuff away?" She teased a little at the last part and I chuckled without humor.

"No… your stuff… I didn't throw it away, I'd never do that." I hope she was only joking about that "Your stuff… is at my house."

"Oh ok… ehmm I think it's time for me to go and pick things up. I'm sorry you had to put themin storage … I'll go when I have a chance."

"It's alright… don't worry… ehmm I never went into your study by the way… I know it was your sacred place."

"I know you didn't. Thanks for that by the way."

"How did you know?"

"If you had gone, you'd have found out that I was pregnant."

"What?"

"Yeah… remember when I said painting was like writing a diary for me?"

"Yeah."

"Well… you'd have known."

"Oh."

I didn't know what else to say, to know I would have had the answers so close without even knowing.

"Why don't you paint anymore?"

"Don't have the time, mother of two remember?"

"Neither back then with school, and you still made the time for it."

"I guess I haven't been inspired then."

"_I look utterly ridiculous." Bella complained and I stifled my laugh. She stood in front the full length mirror in our room, staring at herself with disgust. It was quiet funny._

"_Nah, I think you look utterly stunning." I said as I sneaked my arms around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder._

_She was wearing a bright yellow graduation gown and cap. If I was being honest the thing was ridiculous, but to me she looked gorgeous as always._

"_It's just… I don't fucking get it! What happened to normal, boring and usual black graduation gowns?"_

"_Don't be dramatic, it's just for the ceremony and you do look beautiful baby."_

"_You only say that because you love me, but c'mon! I look like a freaking chicken piñata!"_

_I laughed out loud._

"_C'mon pretty girl… you don't want to be late. You are on the Dean's list remember? You don't want to disappoint him today."_

"_Shit, I have to go up there twice right?"_

"_Yup, for your graduation diploma and for the honors one. I'm so proud of you." I said sincerely trying to give her courage as I know she hated attention._

"_Thank you so much for my present." She said touching her new necklace and turning on her tiptoes to kiss me. "I love it."_

_I had gotten her a white gold chain with a small heart and a while pearl from Tiffany's, of course she didn't know where it came from or that it was real gold. It was simple but beautiful, just like her so I thought she would love it._

"_You're welcome pretty girl… anytime." I kissed her back._

"Do you want to move to the living room? My legs are killing me here." She said, bringing me out of my memories and stretching her legs a little.

"Sure."

I followed her into the hallway we crossed the foyer and entered her living room. We both sat at each end of her leather couch and she circled her knees with her arms bringing them to her chest, her body facing me but she turned her head staring at the window that faced the dark street, reclining her head on the back of the couch. She was peacefully watching the rain fall outside while I stared at her beautiful profile which was slightly illuminated by the moonlight. Which I didn't know how that was even possible with the hell that was going on outside.

I took a sip of my now cold tea and put it on the coffee table. We were quiet, both lost in our own thoughts.

"It was raining… when my mom left… that's why I don't like it." She confessed and even though she had spoken quietly it still resonated through the silent house. Her confession made my heart skip a beat she was talking about her mom. She turned to face me and with the dim light that came through the window I could see how fresh tears were falling down her cheeks.

"Do you miss her? Your mom?" I asked tentatively, fearing she will regret talking to me about her.

"No… not anymore."

"What happened?" I asked her, praying that I could finally hear that story.

"I'm not ready to talk about that." She said and I let it go, I was disappointed of course but I didn't want to push her, we had been doing so good so far tonight and I didn't want to ruin it. "But, what about you? You scared of storms too when little?" She asked changing the conversation to me and I chuckled.

"Not really… whenever there was a storm… my siblings and I would run to mom and dad's bed." I said, losing myself in those old happy memories "Andrew and Emmet would fight over who got to tell a story first… they would play rock, paper, scissors over it. Andrew always won… Emmet would say he cheated, Alice would crawl on dad's lap and mom would bring us hot chocolate to bed. She always managed to turn everything into a family thing." I said smiling a little.

I loved those nights. The whole family fighting for a space in my parent's bed, dad making jokes making us laugh so we wouldn't be scared and mom would make sure we were warm and comfortable, bringing pillows and blankets. I fought my tears at remembering my brother, always being the centre of attention… When little he always said he wanted to be a storyteller when he grew up. He had a lot of imagination… he was always so happy, so full of life.

"You never really talked about him… about Andrew." Bella said bringing me out of my bittersweet memories.

"Well… it hurts he was only fifteen when it happened."

Unlike me, he never got his chance at life… and I never talked about him, to anyone because it would make me angry and sad to think about it. He didn't deserve to die, he was barely a teenager.

"Tell me about him." She asked with genuine curious and concern.

…

…

…

"He was pretty much like our Andrew… extrovert, getting himself in trouble at every minute… he was the leader, I was always following him around which made me get into trouble too. We were a team… he was a mischievous kid but with a great heart… he was actually good friends with Irina… and specially Tanya," I know, what an irony "even though she was a year older than us." That had been before Tanya went crazy of course, which happened about a year later of Andrew's death.

"How did your parents take it?"

"Well, it was worse on dad… he had been the one driving so he blamed himself for a couple of years… he wasn't always so serious you know? He was more lively… he used to joke around a lot that's why it amazes me to see him with Marie and Andrew. He looks more like my old dad." I said fighting my tears it pulled at my heart to remember those first months after Andrew's death.

The whole family had been devastated he had been the favorite… always so joyous, helpful, charismatic, kind, humble… a light heart. My twin… my best friend. I felt Bella take my hand, giving it a tight squeeze. Her eyes were glazed and when my vision blurred, I realized I was crying. I didn't remember the last time I cried for him, much less the last time I talked about him. But that didn't mean that I didn't love him, on the contrary… I loved him so much that his death still affected me. When I was about to graduate from High School, I heard mom say once that I never got over his death, and that's why I had been so shy and self keeping while growing up, even though I blamed my need for studying and my geekiness for that, I knew she still had some reason on her assertion.

"He was wonderful you know? Your dad… he really helped me and calmed me when I needed it… don't give him such a hard time, please… he loves you."

"He lied… he didn't tell me."

"Neither did I… and you said you forgive me… I put him in a hard place… you should be angry at me, not him." She said seriously.

…

…

…

"How was the delivery?" I changed the subject I didn't want to talk about my dad. It was a different situation, he was my dad… he was supposed to help me too. He could have warned me or something.

…

…

"I was scared… I was afraid I'd lose them." She said and her eyes glazed instantly and I rubbed my chest at the scorching pain. Seriously, how much can a person handle alone?

"Why didn't you call? I would have been there for you." I said in a broken voice.

"I wanted to… but… I couldn't." She whimpered.

"Why? What stopped you?"

"Please Edward… I don't wanna talk about that day… if you want us to continue, please… let's change the subject."

"Ok, but… at some point we have to talk about that day."

"Not tonight." She said and I agreed ruefully.

"Not tonight."

…

…

…

"What did Kate tell you… exactly?" She surprised me by her next question I wasn't expecting that the conversation will take that course.

Ok, here we go.

"A couple of months after… that day… she and Irina went to Tanya's place. She was in rehab so they thought they should take care of her place. She found cocaine in her stuff along with… Ecstacy… and Rohypnol." I said, watching her face carefully.

She was deep in thought, and didn't say anything for a few minutes. Mulling over it but I could also see her eyes were far away… she was lost in her own thoughts.

"What are those exactly?" She asked in a whisper.

"Rofy is more like a sedative… and produces amnesia… and ecstasy… it gives you a sense of euphoria… and makes you hyper sensible and to hallucinate."

…

…

…

"And… she gave you this."

"Yeah… I think so… there's no other explanation for what happened you heard the story. That's why I've been trying to contact her… to confirm it."

…

…

…

"Bella… please say something." I was starting to get nervous by her silence.

"I'm thinking…" She said still lost in her thoughts.

"About what?"

…

…

…

She didn't say anything and I decided I had had enough. She knew the story now, and she needed to believe it, she _had_ to believe it if we still had a chance. So I stood up from the couch and kneeled in front of her, taking her hands in mines.

"Bella… there is no way… that if I had been at least a tiny bit coherent I would have done what I did…" My voice was broken with emotion while she cried soundly "I had no control over it once I took that damn drink… yeah I made a huge mistake just by talking to her… I knew what she was capable of but I never _ever _wanted her… I only want you… I was going to marry you the next day… If I was a cheater do you really think I would have been that stupid? To cheat on you the day before our wedding and bring her to our house? For you to see? With _her_? I never wanted that and I would have never even dreamt of hurting you like that, I didn't plan it. Please… believe me… you are the one that I want… you never stopped being the love of my life and I'm willing to try and rebuild what we had… I know a lot of things had happened and we are not the same people from four years ago… we both made huge mistakes and had lived a hell paying for them…" I brought her hands to my lips and kissed them, my lips lingering for a second or two "but Bella, it's not fair… we should give us another chance… we owe it to ourselves… our story is not finished yet, we didn't even have closure… you left and I became a shell of myself… I know you are afraid but don't you think it's worth the risk?" I asked with my heart hanging out in the palm of my hand, an easy target, for her to crush it or to take it if she wanted it.

"I don't know Edward… it's too much at risk. What about Marie and Andrew? They could get hurt too." I grabbed her face carefully with both of my hands and cleared her tears from both cheeks with my lips. Then I leaned away and took her hands again… zeroing my eyes on hers. I needed to see her eyes for my next words.

"Bella, I'm thinking of them… that's why I think it's worth the risk. Babe, I don't know what happened with your mom… but I know how much it affected you, but I'm not like her." She started to sob "_I love you_ and I want what's best for you, I know that you are afraid of being hurt again… but I'll never walk out on you. I understand if you don't love me anymore… I don't blame you but please, give me a chance to change that. We were great together…" I cried "We could be like that again if you'll let me, I know it's going to be hard but we can do it. If we work _together_ we can have that again," My voice was shaking so bad I feared she wouldn't understand a word I was saying "I have faith in us. I'm here, I'll always be here… for me there is no other one, you are my forever… you are my pretty girl."

"Edward… don't say those things… they hurt."

"But they are the truth… what do I have to do? To prove it to you?" Damn it! She was so fucking stubborn.

…

…

"Please… give me time… I need to think, it's too much to take in." She cried and I felt a new wave of hope take my body.

"All the time you want… I'll be here I'll never go away… I love you pretty girl." I said and kissed her forehead.

A loud thunder hit the sky, illuminating the living room and Bella jumped a little at the sound.

"Edward…"

"Yes?"

…

…

"Can… can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything."

"Could you hold me?"

She didn't have to say it twice.

I sat next to her and took her in my arms with her resting her head over my heart. I took her legs and pulled them over my lap. She clutched my shirt and cried quietly. I didn't dare to ask her what she was crying for, if it was because of me, because of her past or because of us. So I just held her… happy to comfort her and to have her in my arms. I cried to, but I think it was more of happy tears because she finally heard me out. She was thinking about us… she talked to me. She told me a little about her life and about her past and that was more than what I had hoped for. Now, I just had to wait… I had to give her time to think about everything I told her and for once… I felt real hope.

We stayed in that position and after a while when she had calmed a little we started talking about nonsense. Just hearing each other's voices. Talking about the last four years, about what we did today or last week… I don't know. I was just glad that I was holding her, glad of hearing her beautiful voice.

I don't know how much time it passed, but suddenly we heard the cries of Andrew and Marie, calling for us. We stood up, and I headed to the stairs but Bella didn't move.

"Bella?"

"I'll be up in a minute." She said and went into the kitchen I turned and took the stairs.

"Mommy!" I heard Andrew's frightened voice.

"I'm coming sweeties!" I said as I reached the second floor.

"Daddy?" Marie asked "you still here?" She asked as I entered Bella's room. She pointed her flashlight at me hurting my eyes a little. I wince a little and covered them with my hand.

"Yes sweetie, I'm still here. I promise you I was going to stay."

"Where is mommy?" Andrew asked as I sat on the bed and both threw themselves at me.

"She'll be up in a minute." I said as I laid us down "Now go to sleep, it's late."

"I don't wanna sleep." Andrew said.

"Daddy, would you tell us a story?" Marie asked in a soft voice.

"A story?"

"Yes, with princesses!"

"And soldiers!"

"Wow, that's a strange combination." I chuckled but still, as always I did what they asked for. And started telling them the most ridiculous story ever, at least they seemed happy about it and of course Andrew would interrupt me every two second to add to it.

Five minutes into the story I heard Bella coming up the stairs, I paused when she entered the room… and I thought I could die from happiness.

She entered the room slowly and a bit shyly, holding a tray with four cups of steaming hot chocolate.

She even added marshmallows.

"Hotchoco!" Andrew cheered happily when he caught the smell.

"Mommy, daddy is telling us a story!" Marie informed her happily as Bella gave her her cup. Andrew didn't even wait for Bella to sit, he already had his and of course he had already dropped some in his pajamas.

I think he was a little clumsy, now that I think of it.

"Really?" Bella asked as she got herself comfortable in her side of the bed.

"Yep!" Andrew said popping the p and I chuckled at his chocolate mustache.

"Can I hear it too?" Bella asked innocently.

"Yes!" Andrew said jumping in her lap and then the three of them turned to me expectantly.

And this is how our story started again.

* * *

><p><strong>As promised, Edward gets a small break in future chapters, but the angst is not over!<strong>

**PLEASE REVIEW! I NEED THEM!**

**You can listen to the song Bella sang here www. you / watch?v=rc2jsjnt-HY just take off the spaces or look for "You are my sunshine" by Elizabeth Mitchell.**

**The memory of Edward about the pop tarts and the blackout is the continuation from a previous one he had, but I don't remember which chapter exactly.**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	21. Chapter 21: Stranger

**I'm soooo sorry about the huge delay, but between work, finals and getting ready for vacations I hardly had the time to write.**

**I'm in LA now, I'll be here for two weeks so there might be another delay for next chapter as I don't know if I'll have the time to write, I'll try but I don't make any promises.**

**It's fun to see all the theories you have about Tanya and Bella meeting in Ottawa, Bella has thrown a lot of hints and I'm surprised that just one of you without even knowing said the keyword of what exactly happened, that's all I'm going to say.**

**Thanks to my awesome beta Cattinson and my beautiful brazilian readers!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their life a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 21: Stranger<p>

"**Stranger" – Chris August**

Stranger, till I hear your laughter  
>Crazy, cause you're all I'm after.<br>Its a pleasure, It was nice to have met you.  
>And I'll remember<br>to never forget you.

Cause when I'm excited,  
>I don't hide it, just to let you know<br>I'm feeling you baby from bottom to the top,  
>how could I not stop to say hello<p>

So hello there,  
>How are you, amazing,<br>It's nice to finally meet you,  
>Been patiently waiting,<br>been waiting just to see you,  
>to tell you I dreamed you,<br>now I found you so call off the search  
>cause I found my stranger<p>

…

Strangest thing that I ever did feel,  
>I had to make you smile just to prove its real,<br>it was the lack of starving attention?  
>So if you're feeling the symptoms today<br>all you gotta do is say...

Sometimes, dreams are better than reality. Sometimes a dream can be so good you wish to never wake up, but sometimes… in very rare occasions, real life can be a living dream too.

That's how I feel right now.

After our late night tale Marie and Andrew cuddled between Bella and I, the four of us listening to the rain fall outside as it was no longer storming, whispering things into the darkness, the four of us together and after while… we all fell into a peaceful slumber. Now, I woke and I can tell it's early morning… but I can also tell it wasn't just a dream.

We are here together.

It's real.

There is no better thing in the world, than wake up and realize that your favorite people in the world are with you. I know it sounds cheesy… but it's the truth. Somehow, Andrew ended up at the foot of the bed. Sprawled like a star and taking a good portion of the mattress. Marie is between Bella's legs and my stomach, and Bella's head somehow ended on my chest, her left arm across my chest and her hand over my heart.

Her old spot.

I held her tighter, and I thought about last night. We surely took a big step, she listened to me for starters… and I think she believed me, or will eventually but even then I know it's not enough. We still need to learn to trust each other again, and I know there is still a lot she is not telling me… but with time, we'll get there. I wonder why she doesn't want to talk about the delivery. I guess it must be too painful for her… she was scared and alone.

While I absentmindedly caress Bella's long hair, -remembering last night events- Marie stirs between us and after a moment her beautiful eyelids flutter open revealing her beautiful sleepy green emeralds.

"Hi." I whispered and she responded with a sleepy smile stretching and rubbing her eyes with her tiny fists.

"Daddy." She greeted me, but then something flashed through her mind and she sat abruptly, looking down at her pajamas. She turned to me with a big smile on her gorgeous face. "I didn't pee myself!" She announced excitedly in a whisper.

"No you didn't." I chuckled "I'm proud baby." She is beaming and my heart swells at her joy.

"What are we doing today?" She whispered with excitement.

"Dunno pretty little girl. What do you wanna do?" I whispered back, careful of not waking Bella or Andrew up.

"Can we stay home?"

"You don't wanna go out?"

"No, I wanna stay home with you and mommy."

"You sure?"

"Yes." She smiled at me.

"Ok baby, we can do whatever you want." Which was perfect if she wanted to stay home, the weather wasn't very good and I didn't want them to catch something in spite of their shot, and frankly… I didn't want to wake up from this dream. A lazy Saturday sounded perfect to me. Marie yawned and laid her head back on my stomach, a beautiful small smile played on her lips. She fell asleep within minutes again.

* * *

><p>The sudden smell of coffee and butter wakes me up. And I take in my surroundings, I was still in Bella's room… but no one was here anymore. Slowly, I stand up and follow the sweet delicious smell downstairs. When I hit the foyer, Marie and Andrew are coming out of the kitchen.<p>

"Mommy! He's up!" Marie says running back into the kitchen.

"What's up kiddo?" I said as I take Andrew and put him on my hip.

"Mommy made choco-pancakes!"

"Mmmhmmm, I love those."

"ME TOO!" Jeez… how can he be this loud so early.

Slowly, I made my way into the kitchen. If I was being honest, I was a little nervous. Yes, we had taken a huge step last night… but I didn't know how she would be today. Maybe she changed her mind? Last night, when she had entered the room with the hot chocolate had meant the world to me, I just hopped I hadn't gotten my hopes up in vain.

I crossed the threshold and scanned the kitchen. She was at the stove, her back to me.

"Good morning." I said in what I hope sounded braver than how I felt. What if she hates me again? What if what happened last night was just an effect of the storm or the circumstances and not real? She stopped what she was doing and turned to me.

She had a shy smile.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?"

"Very good, thank you… how about you?" I ask with my heart on my throat.

"I had a good night too." Her shy smile becomes a tiny bit wider.

And I knew we were alright.

"Daddy! Come! Mommy and I made breakfast!" Marie said tugging at my hand and leading me to the head of the breakfast table. "Sit!" She commands and I chuckle doing as she said, sitting Andrew in my lap with me.

"You are so bossy!" Andrew complained but Marie didn't pay attention to him, instead she went to hurry Bella for breakfast.

"Mommy, they are at the table already." She said with a frantic voice.

"I'm coming honey, take it easy… why don't you take a seat with daddy and Andrew? I'll be there in a minute." Bella laughed as I stood up and lean over the bar.

"Mommy's right honey, take a seat… I'll help mommy with everything." Marie looks doubtful but after a second she nodded and went to sit with Andrew and I rounded the bar and went to stand next to Bella. I kissed her cheek making her flush lightly and started helping her pouring milk in four glasses.

"What's up with her?" I ask nodding towards Marie who was now giggling with Andrew about something.

"She is excited you stayed the night… and that you are having breakfast with us here." Bella answered trying to avoid my gaze but I still caught her blush.

I smiled at her.

"What about you? Are you Ok?"

"I'm alright but… can we talk after breakfast? About last night?"

"Sure… is everything alright?" I ask in concern.

Shit, did she change her mind?

"Everything is perfect" She smiled reassuringly "I just… I was thinking…" she started to bite her lip nervously "if we are going to do this…" she motioned with her hand between us "I want to establish some rules… for them." She said and turned slightly to check on the pancakes on the pan.

"What kind of rules?"

She stared out the window in front of her, a contemplative look on her face. It was still raining outside.

"Edward…" She put the last batch of pancakes on a plate and set it aside turning to me. "Marie and Andrew are the world to me… they have suffered a lot… and… if this doesn't work…" she sighed "I don't want them to get their hopes up for nothing."

"I understand, I don't want to cause them any pain either."

"I know… so, I want us to go slow… like last night." I nodded and took her hands between mines and kissed the back of them, anything… I'll do anything she asks for if that means giving me a chance, plus she was right… we needed to be careful. Marie and Andrew were in the middle of this.

"What do you mean by going slow… exactly?"

"Let's keep this between us…" she said squeezing my hands lightly "don't… flaunt it too much in front of them… let's… talk, I still have tons of questions… and I'm sure you have questions for me but I'm not ready to answer them… but with time… I will, I promise. Last night you gave me a lot to think about and I'm still mulling over it. I'm trying… just don't pressure me, please… I swear I'm trying to see your side of things."

"My side of things?" I asked in confusion.

"Yes… Edward… for four years I went thinking the worst of me… of you… I was so sure of what happened… I still have reasons to doubt you but I also know… even then that it didn't make sense… it still doesn't make sense… anything… so I'm trying to clear my head and see things your way… but it's hard," She said as a tear fell over her cheek "those… images are still in my head… please be patient with me."

I nodded and cleared her tear with my thumb.

"Ok, we'll go slow… so, what do you suggest we do now?" Did she want me to go?

She smiled shyly at me.

"Right now… I want us to have breakfast together… as a family."

I swear… my heart nearly came out of my chest. I leaned in and kissed her temple, my second favorite place after her lips and wrapped my arms tightly around her little frame, bringing her head against my chest. I could tell she was still a little apprehensive about me hugging her like this… nervous even but she was trying.

"One step at a time." I whispered into her ear, my voice full of emotion.

"One step at a time." She confirmed.

* * *

><p>"Hello Heidi." I said brightly as I entered the clinic, after taking a double check on my face she grinned back at me.<p>

"Good morning Dr. Cullen, I take it you had a good weekend?"

"The best."

After breakfast Saturday morning, Bella the twins and I spend the rest of the day in the living room playing games, watching movies and having ice cream with Oreos. The weather was still poor so going out was out of the question. Before we knew it, it was already past bedtime so Bella and I took them to bed together. I didn't stay that night but Bella and I agreed on spending Sunday the four of us together again, but in a different environment so we decided to take them to the High Park as the sun had finally come out. Marie was ecstatic, her joy evident in her bright eyes and flushed cheeks, and whenever I wasn't playing soccer with Andrew or pushing Marie on the swings Bella and I would have our quiet conversations. She was more forthcoming now when I asked her about the last four years. She told me how she got her job and about how Charlie and dad had helped her… I got the sense that she preferred me asking her questions than she asking me about my life… I guess she already had a lot to mull over and talking distracted her a little. I also noticed how Marie would stare at us from afar… when Bella and I were talking on the bench while she played with her dolls and her hopeful look didn't escape my notice.

"I'm very glad to hear that Dr. Cullen" Heidi said bringing me out of my memories and handing me my schedule for today. My morning was full but my afternoon not that much.

"Thank you Heidi, bring them in as they come."

"Will do."

"Oh, one more thing Heidi. Could you please put me in contact with Dr. Thomas Lawrence? I need to talk to him."

"Marie's cardiologist?"

"Yes."

"Is there a problem?"

"No, Marie is perfect. I just want to go over Marie's results with him."

"Oh, I'm glad to hear that. I'll call him then."

"Thank you, I'll be in my office."

* * *

><p>"He's recovering at a great speed Mrs. Black I think that in a few weeks he'll be able to go back to his normal life." Dad told Rachel, Jacob's mom. Little Jacob had had his tumor removed two months ago and he was having a check-up. Color returned to Rachel's face and she let out a sigh of relieve as she turned and cried on her husband's shoulder.<p>

"Thank you doctor, you have no idea how much that means to us." Billy, Jacob's dad said and dad nodded.

"You are welcome, it's was all Jacob… he's such a strong and wonderful boy. My son here" Dad turned to me "Will give you a prescription… vitamins and the like, please do as he says."

"Of course Doctor." Billy said and they turned expectantly to me. I told them to follow me into my office and after a few questions they had for me about little Jacob's recovery I handed them a prescription. I noticed Mrs. Black staring at Andrew and Marie's picture in my desk.

"I didn't know you had kids." She said with a small smile.

"Yeah, twins." I smiled proudly at her.

"I can see that, they look so much like you. I'm sorry but may I ask how old are they?"

"They'll be four in January."

"Do they go to school?" She asked.

"Yeah, they go to a daycare program at Montessori."

"Oh, we have heard of that one… it's supposed to be good. Sorry for bothering you doctor… but with Jacob recovering I want him to start school again. He has missed so much from his childhood already and he just turned six."

"It's not a problem don't worry about it, we haven't had any problem with Montessori and Andrew and Marie love it. They take children from 2 and a half until eighth grade and the campus is beautiful. It's rather a big school, its private though."

Rachel turned to her husband.

"Honey, after Jacob recovers we should go and check that one out."

"Sure honey, but let's go now. Dr. Cullen must be busy and Jacob is waiting for us in the playroom." He smiled kindly at her.

After giving Jacob his lollypop and Mr. and Mrs. Black thanked me again I walked towards Heidi's desk.

"Who's next?" I asked her.

"You had an appointment with Seth, but Mrs. Clearwater called and postponed it for tomorrow. You are free for lunch and your next patient doesn't come until 4 o'clock."

"Thank you." I told her and headed to my office.

I was about to turn my computer off when certain picture caught my eye. I sat there staring at my favorite picture of us for god only knows how long when inspiration hit me. I grabbed my cell from my pants pocket and dialed her number.

She answered after the second ring.

"Edward?"

"Hi." I said.

"Hi, is everything Ok?"

"Yes, everything is fine… are you busy?" I asked nervously.

"Not really, just going over some manuscripts. Why?" She said in her sweet voice.

"I was just wondering… did you have lunch already?"

…

…

"No, I haven't."

"Well, I'm on my lunch break and I was wondering if you would like to join me?" I asked hopeful.

"Uhm… sure… where do you wanna go?" She asked quietly and I fist bumped the air feeling relieved.

Yes, she said yes.

"Remember the Tim Hortons on Richmond St.? Could we meet there and go from there?" I hoped she did remember the quiet coffee shop, we spent an awful lot of time there. It was our favorite place after a long day of work or to meet between hours.

"Of course… I'll see you there in fifteen minutes."

"Ok, see you soon."

I let out a sigh of relieve. Ok, so step one for Operation Wooing Bella complete. Now, it's time for step two.

* * *

><p>I was seated at our old spot, in the private booth at the corner with two cups of coffee -my black coffee and her medium French Vanilla one sugar extra hot- waiting for her. After 17 minutes she finally entered the coffee shop, looking for me. I waved at her and she eyed the extra cup, she came forward and sat in front of me.<p>

"Hi, how are you." I greeted her.

"Fine thank you, you?"

"I'm good."

"Sorry, there was traffic… have you been waiting long."

"No, just got here. Here" I pushed the cup towards her "I got you one." She smiled at me and took a zip and then frowned.

"You remember my order?" She asked with surprise on her voice as she put the cup down.

"Of course." I told her and our eyes locked for a brief moment.

We started chit-chatting then about our morning, she told me about the manuscript she was currently working on and how talented the author was. I could tell how much she loved her work, she spoke with so much enthusiasm about it, her eyes shined a little with every new plot she told me about and I could see a little of my old pretty girl there. It was nice to see that she was still there, buried inside her.

"I'm sorry… am I boring you?"

"No, I love listening to you… why?"

"You had this faraway look…"

"Sorry… I was just remembering old days."

"Old days?"

"Yeah… when we used to come here… talking about our day like this." She nodded and got a faraway look too.

…

…

…

"I had a good time last weekend." She whispered then. "Marie and Andrew seemed to enjoy themselves." I smiled at her.

"Yeah I know, it was so good to see them so carefree, actually… I'm glad you brought that up, I've been thinking..."

"About what?" She asked as she took another zip of her coffee.

"I want to repeat that… I mean… You know the plan was for them to spend the week with you and the weekends with me… well, how about if we change that a little, what about if you come with us too… the four of us spending time together."

"The four of us?"

"Yes, not just me and them as we have been doing it. It obviously stresses Marie and they seemed happier last Saturday and Sunday even though I didn't stay the second night. I obviously love it when they stay with me but I can also see that them coming back and forth with just one of us is taking a toll on them… plus… I want to spend time with you too."

…

…

"And what could we do?"

"I don't know… movies? High Park? Going for a stroll to the Eaton Centre? It's Toronto… there are tons of things to do for children."

"Okay, we can try that… but I also want them to spend the weekend nights with you, I don't want to change that. They miss you a lot during the week."

"Sure, but whatever we do… you come with us, not only breakfast on Saturdays."

"Okay, but I have one request…"

"What's that?"

…

…

"I'm not going to your house… whatever we do, we do it somewhere else." The words cut my heart like a bunch of razors, raw pain coming in waves.

"Why not?" I whispered the vision of the four of us at my piano disappearing.

"Edward… the last time I was in your house…" she sighed "it's just not a day I want to remember."

Oh.

"Okay, I understand."

…

…

That awkward silence again.

"Can I ask you a question?" She spoke then and I lifted my gaze to her, her eyes we unreadable now. Gone was the faint glint from moments ago.

"Of course."

"If… if I hadn't caught you… with her that morning… would you have told me?" She asked in a whisper, her eyes on mine… looking intently at me.

Shit.

Didn't expect that one.

…

…

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Would you have rather me not to?" I asked in surprise.

"No, of course I would have wanted to know… but, why would you have told me if you knew I would leave you?"

"Bella, it wasn't as if I was trying to hide a relationship with her… I was tricked into it, it was a mistake and I would have felt guilty over it… I wouldn't be able to look you in the eye knowing what I did…" I took her hand that was over the table and she stiffened for a second before relaxing "I love you too much to lie to you like that… and you deserved better…" I told her sincerely.

…

…

"Thank you." She said and I could see some weight lifting from her shoulders.

"For what?"

"For being honest."

"Is there anything else you wanna know?"

…

…

…

"I want to know about that day… when you… the hospital day."

"When I tried to kill myself?" I asked in an unknown voice and she grimaced.

"Yes."

"What do you wanna know?" I said softly.

"How did it happen?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"You really wanna know the details?"

…

…

"Yes. I need to know…"

…

…

"It was around May… a year and nine months after you left to be exact… it was Saturday, I wasn't working at the time but… I had gone to the clinic to recollect some old books. I had been reading a lot of med books on surgery to pass the time… I had run into Carlisle, we had a fight over my behavior… he wanted me to get some help and to start working again but I just left him there… he said your name and… it hurt… I never talked about you… or about what happened to anyone… so it made me mad when he did, I went back to my place…"

…

…

"What happened then?" She said squeezing my hand.

I swallowed, my throat was dry.

"I went into my bathroom… I wanted to take a hot shower to calm myself, I was livid at dad for telling me what to do… for making me come out of my numbness and… making me think of you on that day…" I passed a hand through my hair "it still hurts Bella… your eyes that day have tortured me for years and… I hated me for hurting you like that…"

Her eyes watered and tears instantly began to fall over her cheeks.

Shit, I was supposed to woo her today not make her cry.

"When I was in the bathroom… I was going through my stuff and accidentally threw your perfume bottle to the floor… the bottle crashed and I caught the scent of it… I went crazy… it was too painful… I just wanted to put a stop to all of it so I started drinking and before I knew it… I couldn't stop."

…

…

…

The silence stretched, neither of us saying anything. I didn't know what she was thinking but I could tell it hurt her.

"Edward… I'm sorry…" She whimpered then and I shook my head at her, brought her hand to my lips giving her a light kiss and brought her palm to my cheek.

She was cold.

"It wasn't your fault, remember… I'm not the best decision maker here."

"Neither am I… I guess we have that in common." She tried to smile through her tears but it looked more like a grimace.

Suddenly, a group of teenagers entered the coffee shop making a lot of noise. They were talking loudly about some shit I couldn't care less.

"You wanna go somewhere else?" I asked her

"Sure, just let me use the restroom for a minute." She said, I guess she needed a minute to calm herself.

"Ok, I'll wait for you outside."

We stood and she headed to the back of the shop while I made my way to the door. After a couple of minutes she was back.

"Let's go." She said and I opened the door for her. I examined her face carefully, she looked more in control of herself but she was still pale and her eyes a little reddened. Once outside we decided on having lunch on a small restaurant a few blocks away so we headed there. After couple of steps I braced myself and took her left hand in mine. She stopped walking and turned to me.

"Uhmm… is this Ok?" I asked her, gesturing to our joined hands. She looked at them for a moment and closed her eyes as if contemplating something. Then she opened them again and nodded once, so we started our way to the restaurant again.

Hand in hand.

We entered the restaurant and sat in a table for two against the window facing the street. A waiter took our order and left us to fetch our drinks.

"Why did you choose to be a pediatric surgeon as your second field instead of oncology like your dad?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know… to be able to help him in his surgeries I guess, and in case of any emergency I'll be able to help more kids than focusing only on kids with cancer."

"You love healing kids." She mused.

"Yeah."

"Is it because of your brother?" She asked tentatively.

"Maybe… I just… if it's in my hands… I wanna make sure every kid can fulfill their dreams… I want to make sure they have a chance at life."

"Do you have a specialty?"

"Cardiothoracic."

"So that's how you knew so much about Marie's condition?"

"Yes, but… I'm only monitoring her. I talked about this with Dr. Lawrence today, in case of a real emergency he will step in. I faxed him the analysis we made her last week so he can follow her condition too."

"Why?" Bella asked, her eyes widening a little.

"It's not ethical, I'm her dad and we will need an unbiased diagnosis too."

"What do you mean by a real emergency?"

…

…

"In case she needs a heart or lung transplant."

Bella gasped and I quickly took her hand in mine.

"Bella, she's fine now. She is perfect it's just in case… I told you that when we got the results. I'm just taking precautions."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'd never risk Marie's life."

"Ok. Whatever you think is best."

The waiter arrived with our food then, and Bella and I dug in.

_Bella and I arrived to my parent's house. It was Thanksgiving and as every year Mom made a big dinner with her and dad's closest friends. That included their daughters and sons too. I had warned Bella about it, as Carmen and Eleazar would be there and most likely their daughters Kate, Irina… and Tanya. It was Tanya's first Thanksgiving with us since we broke up. Apparently she was trying to make amends for what happened she had been away in Ottawa in a rehab centre and just got out so she must be clean and stable. At least she hadn't gotten herself in trouble for three months now._

_I got out of my car and went to open the door for my pretty girl. In spite of my ex being here, she was pretty excited about tonight. I took her hand and together we made our way to the door. We could hear all the voices from outside._

"_I've never had a thanksgiving dinner before." She said._

"_Really?"_

"_Nope." She said popping the p. making fun of me of course._

"_Why?"_

"_Well, it was only me and dad… and he wasn't very fond of holidays and traditions."_

"_Well, then I'm glad you first Thanksgiving ever is with me." I said kissing her head and she lifted her head beaming at me. It stopped my heart every time she did that. She had the most beautiful smile._

"_So, is your crazy ex going to be here for sure?"_

"_Most likely, Alice told me that she has been playing good lately. Trying to win her parents' trust back."_

"_When was the last time you saw her?"_

"_About two years ago? Please don't worry about her… let's just enjoy our night."_

"_Ok." She smiled her beautiful smile at me._

"_You look beautiful by the way." I complimented her as we stepped into the foyer making her blush. She was wearing a deep blue cocktail dress that made a perfect contrast against her porcelain skin and silver high heels that made her legs go on and on._

_My pretty girl looked hot._

"_Thanks, Alice picked it out for me." She rolled her eyes._

"_Well, I might thank her tonight then. It's thanksgiving after all." _

_She giggled._

"_So, it's your first thanksgiving… what would you give thanks for tonight." I asked her as we stopped before entering the big living room where everybody was._

"_You." _

_I smiled at her words and brought her forehead against mine._

"_I'm thankful I found you too."_

"What are you smiling about?" Bella asked.

"What?" I asked blinking back into reality.

"You were gone again."

"Uhm sorry."

"Old days?" She inquired with a small smile.

"Old days." I confirmed.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked and then took a zip from her coke.

"Thanksgiving… you looked really beautiful with your blue dress." I smiled wistfully at her.

She blushed.

"Uhm Thanks…" Then she chuckled "Boy… drunken Alice was fun that night."

I laughed out loud, I had forgotten about that.

"Well, you weren't too far behind either."

"Oh god," she laughed "I don't want to remember. After all these years I'm still mortified about my singing that night."

"Yeah, you an Alice were a fine duet. Gloria Gaynor would be proud." I said remembering their horrendous interpretation of _I will survive_.

She laughed out loud and my heart warmed at the lovely sound.

"Oh god, I think even Emmet joined us at some point."

"Yep he did." I said popping the p "I've been trying to erase that image from my mind for years."

_Bella sat on my lap clapping and laughing at Emmet and Alice's rendition of YMCA in the middle of the playing room. The music blaring from the sound system. The adults were upstairs in the living room while the young sang and played pool here._

"_I'm going for another beer, do you guys want anything?" Tyler asked standing from the ottoman next to us._

"_No thanks, I'm driving." I told him._

"_Bella?"_

"_I had enough, thank you." Bella giggled. _

_God, she was drunk, I knew that giggle._

"_BELLA!" Alice screamed from the improvised dance floor "COME SING WITH ME!"_

_Bella turned and kissed me chastely._

"_I'll be right back pretty boy." She said and stumbled her way into the dance floor. Movement on the couch next to me made me turn._

_Tanya._

_She had a wistful look on her eyes, as if she didn't fit into any group from the 20 people in the room._

"_Hi." She said quietly not looking at me._

"_Hi." I answered back._

_It was the first time I had talked to her since she tried to roll me over._

"_How have you been?"_

"_I'm good Tanya, thanks."_

"_I can see that." She said and something in her voice made me look at her. She was sadly sipping on her virgin margarita I noticed she was staring at Bella. _

_Was it safe for her being here? With all this alcohol?_

"_How are you?" I asked her, feeling pity._

_She shrugged. _

"_Some days are tougher."_

"_Are you sure about being here? Is it safe?"_

"_It is easy to be brave from a safe distance." She said in a sad tone. "I needed to face this at some point.__ I've been clean for four months… I thought it was time for me to come out to the real world."_

"_He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." I encouraged her in a low whisper, quoting my dead brother. He used to say that all the time he got in trouble._

_Tanya gasped and her eyes turned wide before composing her expression._

"_What?" I asked her in confusion._

"_Nothing… just… Andrew, you remind me of him a lot." Her eyes now had a faraway look._

_Ok, that was weird._

"_Oh." I didn't know what else to say so I turned and stared at my pretty girl. She had a gorgeous smile on her face, Emmet was twirling her around and Alice danced next to her. I chuckled at her blush when drunken Alice spanked her ass playfully._

_God, I loved her so much._

_I turned to Tanya, with the purpose of excusing myself but her seat was empty. I turned around the room and she wasn't anywhere to be found. I shrugged and stood up, walked to my pretty girl saved her from Emmet's antics and brought her to my arms._

"Yeah, that was a good party. Especially _our_ after party." I joked and wiggled my eyebrows at her and of course she turned a thousand shades of red.

She never talked to her, she just commented that she was pretty and forgot about her. She didn't let her presence sour our evening as she had promised me which I had been glad. Actually I don't think Tanya talked to anyone but Irina that night.

"Edward!" She gasped but I could see the humor on her eyes.

"What? I was talking about the party in the playroom."

"Sure you were…" She narrowed her eyes at me.

"What else would I be talking about?" I teased her and she laughed.

…

…

"It's good to see you laugh… you have a beautiful laugh. I've missed that." I told her sincerely.

She blushed again.

YES!

"Bella?" A male voice said then and we turned to see a tall, lanky blonde man with blue eyes. He must be in his early thirties or late twenties.

"Mike? Hi! What are you doing here?" Bella greeted him.

"Take out, lunch break." He threw her a too bright smile. My heart beat picked up.

Who the fuck was this guy and why the fuck is he smiling to my pretty girl like that?

"Oh, that's… good." Bella said suddenly nervous. "Uhm… Edward, this is Michael Newton… my boss, Mr. Newton this is Edward Cullen, Andrew and Marie's dad." She smiled at me but I could tell she was still nervous under his stare. Why was she nervous? Did she like him?

"A pleasure to meet you Mr. Cullen."_ Mike _stretched his hand out to me and I shook it. I could see the hypocrisy in his striking blue eyes.

"The pleasure is all mine." I said.

"Well _Miss_ Swan, it was a good thing I ran into you. I was going to call you today, how those manuscripts that I gave you faring? Are you done with the essays?"

"Yes, just a last check up and I'll e-mail them to you tonight."

"No, bring them to my office tomorrow morning. I need to give you two more manuscripts."

"Ok, I'll be there by ten."

"Perfect, see you then." He smiled at her and then turned to me "Cullen, nice meeting you." He said and I nodded in acknowledgement.

…

…

"So, that's your boss… interesting fellow."

"He's Ok, Andrew hates him though." She said smiling at some old memory.

"Yeah, I heard about him biting his hand"

"What? He told you about that?" She asked incredulous.

"Yeah, the first time I brought them to my parent's house."

"Oh god, that kid has no brain filter." She said in amusement but I could see the love in her eyes and I laugh because it was true. Andrew was a little nuts sometimes.

But I loved him to death.

Suddenly Bella's phone rang she took it from her purse and frowned at the caller ID.

"Hello? Yes I am… … WHAT?" Bella shrieked then and she had my full attention now. "Oh god, is he Ok? Is he hurt?… Ok… shit, Ok… I'll be there in ten." She said and snapped her phone shut.

"What happened?" I asked alarmed.

"That was the school's principal. I need to go… Andrew got into a fight." She said exasperated.

"WHAT?" I asked in shock as Bella asked for the bill.

"Ugh! I know… everything was going fine, I wonder what happened." She said angry now.

The waiter brought the check and I took it, deposited a hundred and stood up.

"Let's go."

"You're coming?" She asked in surprise.

"Of course, we are in this together remember?" I took her hand and led the way to my car which was parked a few blocks away near the clinic.

* * *

><p>As soon as we entered the building Bella let go of my hand and we made our way to the kinder garden area. Once there the receptionist showed us the way to the principal's office. In the hallway Andrew and another older looking kid with a bleeding nose where seated with Andrew's teacher between them. Andrew was scowling at the floor, his arms tight around him. He was angry I have never seen him like this.<p>

"Andrew?" Bella called and he immediately lifted his head, his eyes went wide and the scowl was gone when he saw me too. Then his chin quivered and he started bawling. Bella ran and kneeled in front of him.

"Andrew, baby are you Ok? Are you hurt?" Bella said frantic and he shook his head throwing his arms around Bella's neck.

I kneeled next to them and checked on Andrew for any injuries, he had a small cut in his lip but nothing else. He wouldn't need stitches just some ice would do which I noticed the bag in his teachers hand so I realized she must have been putting it on his mouth already.

Mrs. Robinson, the principal came out of her office standing next to her another woman which I recognized as the school's counselor. She was a blond woman with kind eyes, probably in her thirties.

"Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan." She greeted us warmly "Once Andrew has calmed can I have a word with you please?"

"Of course." Bella said "Andrew, I need to talk with your principal baby… I'll be back in a moment."

"NO!" Andrew yelled.

"Andrew, it's just for a minute baby."

"Maybe you'd like some privacy?" Andrew's teacher, Miss Kelly said softly "There's the teacher's lounge through that door if you wanna talk with him."

"Thank you." I told her and Bella stood up with Andrew bracing her for dear life. We walked into the teacher's lounge it had a comfortable atmosphere around it. Bella sat on a couch and I sat next to her.

"What happened Andrew?" Bella asked him softly.

He had stopped crying and had his face buried in Bella's neck.

"Andrew? Why won't you talk to me sweetie?"

…

…

…

"Andrew… did that boy punched you first?" I asked, why isn't he talking?

He slowly shook his head.

"Andrew, did you start the fight?"

"He's ugly." He finally muttered and Bella sighed.

"Andrew, you can't go punching kids just because you don't like them." Bella said sternly, you did a bad thing. "Did he provoke you?"

…

…

…

Silence again.

"Andrew sweetie, I need you to tell me what happened so we can help you."

…

…

"He made Marie cry." He said softly and my heart stopped.

"What?" I asked incredulous. "How?" I tried to contain my anger now and Bella threw me a warning look.

"He called her names me didn't like it so me punch him."

"Andrew, I understand you want to defend your sister… but violence is never the way to do it. You shouldn't have punched him, that's not a good thing to do." I admonished him.

"HE MADE MY SISTER CRY! NO ONE MAKES MY SISTER CRY!" He screamed at me as I stared at him wide eyed. "She's my sister!"

"Andrew… take it easy baby." Bella admonished him. "Don't scream at daddy, he's right." Bella said firmly and Andrew started crying again.

"SORRY!" He cried and launched himself at me and I held him tightly. Oh god, it pulled at my heart to see him like this, so distressed and lost.

"It's Ok, kiddo." I said soothingly and kissed his hair. "It's Ok… shhh… I'm here."

"I love you!" He cried again and I fight my tears.

"I love you more." I said as I rocked him back and forth "Calm down… everything is fine." He nodded and tried to control his breathing.

"Don't go please!" He cried and Bella gasped.

_WHAT?_

I pulled him from my chest a looked directly in his eyes.

"Andrew, where did you get that idea from? I'll never leave, I love you and your sis so much, we have discussed this." I said incredulous, why does he still thinks I'll leave them? How can I reassure him? Shit, I was at a loss now.

"You love me?"

"Andrew, you and your sister are _my life_. I could never leave you, I swear."

"Promise?"

"I swear." He nodded and rested his head on my shoulder again and I held him tightly.

"I'm sorry… me be good now… I'm sorry. Please don't be mad." He whimpered.

"I'm not mad at you Andrew, I'm disappointed… violence is never the answer to anything. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." He whimpered.

After a couple of minutes he finally calmed down and fell asleep in my arms. Bella reclined her head on my shoulder and caressed his back soothingly as he slept. A soft knock on the door broke our bubble and Miss Kelly popped her head around the door.

"How's everything in here?"

"He fell asleep." Bella whispered.

"Do you want me to take him while you talk to Mrs. Robinson?" she said stepping into the room.

"Please." Bella said and kissed Andrew's head. I stood up and handed him to his teacher, my arms feeling cold now as I longed to hold him forever. He was so scared, so lost… he really thought I'd leave him. How can he possibly think that? Miss Kelly sat down on the couch with him in her arms and Bella and I walked out the room.

We stepped into the hallway and Mrs. Robinson was there waiting for us. She smiled kindly at us and gestured to follow her. Once in her office we all sat down, the school's counselor was already there.

"Thank you so much for coming so quickly, we still can't locate Alec's mom so will start this without her." She said and we both nodded. "You must been wondering why Mrs. Jones is here, well she is here to help us through this meeting if you allow it."

Bella turned her head to me, asking with her eyes and I nodded. I was still shaken by Andrew's outburst and couldn't form a word.

"It's ok." She said.

"Well, long story short… Alec, -he's five- was picking on Marie so Marie came asking for help to Miss Kelly, when Ana got there to admonish Alec for picking on her Andrew was already fighting with Alec. We understand why Andrew reacted that way, he felt he needed to protect his sister and even though he started the fight we'll over look it just this time because of that." She said calmly. She had an authoritative pose but a calm aura around her.

"Thank you," Bella said "and I'm sorry, we'll talk to him… it's just that there had been so many changes in their life lately… it's been hard on them…" Bella didn't finish her sentence, and I could hear the utter pain in her voice.

"We know that Miss Swan, Andrew's fight is not the only reason we called you… we were going to call both of you anyway… I know Miss Kelly talked to you already about Marie's behavior." Mrs. Robinson stated.

"Yes, she did."

"Well, I know this is hard but I'll be honest with you. This kind of behavior in both of your kids is pretty common in kids with separate parents, but not because they are common we have to overlook them." She said carefully "Marie's shyness, OCD tendencies and introverted nature or Andrew's seek of attention are very typical but is very important to seek help for the welfare of them."

"OCD tendencies?" I asked shocked.

"Yes, haven't you noticed?" she asked a little surprised to both of us.

"Not really, I mean… she had always been careful with her things… but I didn't realize." Bella said appalled.

OCD? When did this happen?

"Well, the other day she threw a fit because she lost a crayon and the empty space on the box bothered her."

"Oh god." I gasped and Bella furrowed her eyebrows, probably thinking of more patterns she might have overlooked.

"Yes, children are very sensitive and aware of everything surrounding them, I know your relationship is none of my business but whatever you are going through Marie and Andrew feel it too, and their reaction is not always instant, sometime they take weeks, even years but the consequences are what matter the most. That's why Mrs. Jones is here if you agree she can help you and give you advice about how to handle Marie and Andrew. My suggestion is to accept it, if not from Miss Jones from someone else but please do, for the benefit of the kids."

"Of course." Bella said, eyeing me as I nodded in agreement. "We'd like to accept Mrs. Jones' help."

Fuck, I felt awful… I knew my kids were suffering but to see the consequences? It was too much. God, what are we doing to them? I was mad at myself, I had promised myself to take care of them and now… shit, I felt like punching a wall right now.

"Very well then, if you want to talk to her right now feel free to the teacher's lounge."

"Do you have time?" Bella asked me and I could see the pain and worry in her eyes about this new situation we were into.

"Yes, let me just text Heidi." I told her.

"Ok." She said in relief.

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASEEEE REVIEWW! I'm dying to know what you think! I think there was a little progress between B and E, but sadly Marie and Andrew are still suffering the consequences of their parents not being together.<strong>

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	22. Chapter 22: Two Is Better Than One

**Hey guys! So, I'm back! Had a wonderful time in LA and I have great new! I'm on vacation now, kind of... so lot's of time for writing! I might even start a new story so stay tuned if you are interested.**

**I also have a surprise for you, One More Chance has a blog now, so go and check it for longer teasers and photos during the week!**

**here is the link: tpec1991 . blogspot . com**

**Thank to my awesome beta Cattinson! I love you girl!**

**Every character belongs to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22. "Two Is Better Than One"<strong>

"**Two Is Better Than One" – Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift**

I remember what you wore on the first day

You came into my life

And I thought hey

You know this could be something

'Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it all takes my breath away

And now I'm left with nothing

'Cause maybe it's true, that I can't live without you

Well maybe two is better than one

There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,

The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste

You make it hard for breathing

Mrs. Jones was seating in a chair in front of us, while Bella and I sat on the same couch where Bella and I had been calming Andrew before. She was very patient with us as she had been answering all our questions for the last 20 minutes she seemed a gentle and caring person, the perfect family counselor. She listened carefully and with never ending patience.

"It's Marie who worries me the most…" Bella whimpered "I'm afraid I have screwed her up."

"Marie's insecurities are really understandable Bella, its normal for kids to feel insecure when they don't have both parent figures living with them. Unfortunately it gives them a sense of unworthiness and very often they blame themselves, that's why they question themselves so much and why in Marie's case she'll feel the need of being perfect all the time, of being in control of everything."

"Yes, but I'm not stupid… I know I have a lot at fault by keeping them from their dad for so long. It's my fault why they feel like that." Bella said and I wrapped an arm around her, bringing her closer to me.

"Bella, we have discussed this… I don't blame you." I told her sincerely.

"Yes, you don't blame me but that won't make it right. It's my fault I was selfish… and stupid." She said pulling at her hair in frustration.

"Bella, Marie and Andrew's behavior is expected in these kinds of situations as I told you, but I'm not going to lie to you… you did a mistake by keeping them from their dad, that certainly didn't help but you can't do anything about it now… instead of focusing on the mistakes _both_ of you made, on the guilt you feel or the blame both of you throw to yourselves focus on what is now. On how to help you kids, how to make them go through this and move _forward_. The past is the past and you can't do anything about it anymore but you can do something about the future. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"Yes but… how do we start?" Bella asked and I focused my attention back at the counselor.

"Well, before we start with that… I need to know what kind of relationship you and Edward have, so based on that we can find a way to help Marie and Andrew without compromising yourselves too or making it more difficult."

Shit, what were we now?

"Well… we… uhmm" Bella said looking at me questioningly, she didn't know how to label us either.

"Well… you know our story Patricia, and… well Bella and I have been talking and we decided in trying to make it work between us again… she is giving me a chance and hopefully in time when we are ready we could be a together again… if she forgives me of course." I said the last bit looking at Bella, she looked at me and then furrowed her eyebrows mulling over something.

"I see…" Patricia mused watching us closely, I wondered what she really thought about us.

"Yes, but… I didn't want to flaunt it in front of the kids because… well, I'm afraid that if this doesn't work that it would hurt them." Bella suddenly added "But now… I'm not sure about that."

"Well, in my opinion that was a smart decision. It would be pretty hard on them if everything comes up to nothing, and the emotional breakdown could be worse, especially seeing how affected they already are."

"So what do you suggest us to do?" I asked.

"Well, there a few things we could try… first of all you need to understand that Marie and Andrew are very sensitive and smart kids, especially Marie… so any problems you have between you two or fights please try to avoid having them in front of them. What Marie and Andrew want and need is a sense of stability, a family environment… every kid see their parents as gods so they rely on you, if you are not right neither are they."

"What do you mean by stability?" I asked

"Well, so many changes in their lives have them confused, especially when they don't understand why their mommy and daddy don't live together. Their biggest fear is losing their dad right now. They lived without Edward for the biggest part of their lives, now they have him but not in the way they expected or that's supposed to be in their eyes, so it's normal for them to fear that they'll lose him again eventually. So your job would be to prove their fears wrong by being a family, by bringing Edward into mundane, ordinary daily things, you can act as a family without living together, one way to do this is by establishing a routine, and for the four of you to do something together in that time. It could be as a once a week thing, like going to the movies, having lunch together or going to the park. It would also help you as a couple."

"Why a routine?" Bella asked.

"Because it would take out the stress of wondering when would they see their dad again, or when would the four of you would be together again because they'll know when, they are sure that on Friday they will see him or that tonight he'll be coming to have dinner. Besides it gives them something to wait for, of course a spontaneous thing can be done too, but with a routine it will give them a sense of assurance knowing when and how they are going to see their dad. It will give them a peace of mind even if they don't realize it."

"Well, that's pretty much what we have been doing." I said.

"Yes, but they were only seeing _you_ in the weekend am I correct?"

"Yes…"

"Well, with their mom thrown at the mix they'll feel more at home and more at ease and able to enjoy their time with you."

…

…

"How would you explain Andrew's behavior today?" Bella asked curiously in a serious tone. "He is a mischievous kid, but he has never been aggressive."

"Well, Andrew was aware of his sister's distress so he felt like stepping up to her. He feels very protective of her, I'm sorry if I go too far with what I'm about to say but the few times I have talked to him on his free time he has told me he doesn't like to see his mommy cry" Patricia said looking sadly at Bella while my heart clenched and I held Bella tighter, Bella shivered and wrapped her arms around herself "He loves you very much Bella, and is very protective of you too so seeing her sister cry didn't sit well with him either, it probably reminded him of you… Why did he choose to punch him? Well it could be a way for him to let out his frustration, he probably had too much of emotional baggage and it just came out at that moment. I know it might sound weird and unlikely as he is so young but even at their age kids can retain a lot of emotion and their bodies just find a way to let it out, some kids cry, get ill, or throw a tantrum, especially when they don't understand anything surrounding them. That's why you have to be careful in the way you conduct yourselves in front of them."

"What else can we do to help them feel better? Something else we could work on? Something more immediate maybe… while Edward and I figure out our situation?" Bella asked, eager to try to make everything better for our kids. I quickly brought her hand to my lips and kissed it chastely.

"Well, I understand Marie has trouble making friends and trusting new people." Patricia said carefully.

Bella and I nodded reluctantly.

"And Andrew could use something to let out all his energy and frustration."

"Yes." I whispered.

"How do you feel about dogs?" Patricia asked with a smile.

"Dogs?" Bella and I asked in unison.

"Yes, a man's best friend." She said cheerfully.

"How can a dog help Marie and Andrew?" I asked incredulous.

"There a lot of benefits from animal therapy, especially if said dog is treated like a part of the family" Patricia assured us and then started to speak lively "First of all, dogs are the happiest and most lovable animals in the world so it would help to improve Marie's mood, they are the best antidote for depression and will help her with her social skills as she can use him as a theme for any conversation, almost every kid loves to have a pet so it could be easy for her to find a friend who likes dogs too and then they'll share something in common and Marie won't feel that left out. Also caring for a dog will be a distraction from all her worries and will improve her self esteem because she'll think the dog is in need of her, she will know caring of a dog needs skills and knowing her she'll be determined to make it right and she will of course, with your help. She wants to be a vet after all." Patricia said and Bella and I chuckled.

"So you think a pet will help us while Bella and I figure things out with ourselves?"

"Absolutely, the best part of all is dogs don't care about race, color or anything so whichever dog you chose will accept your kids as owners and will be more than willing and happy to play with them, that is when Andrew comes in. I know Marie can't do much exercise so Andrew can take that part so both of them will be taking care of him and with you of course working as a team."

"A team?" Bella asked her eyes bright with everything she was hearing.

"Yes, it will bring your family closer if you have the same goal. It will help to strengthen your relationship with your kids too, you'll have to trust each other with taking care of him, in a way they'll trust you and you them."

…

…

…

I thought about it, I genuinely liked the idea… I could picture Marie brushing his hair and scolding him about something and Andrew chasing him in the backyard of their home. It was a nice picture… after a moment I turned to Bella, she had a faraway look.

"How do you feel about it?" I asked her, I mean if she didn't like dogs this all would be a moot point.

…

…

"Actually… I've always wanted a dog… when I was little I was pretty lonely, dad was always at the station so I always dreamed of having a beagle… but Charlie was allergic so..." She confessed softly and shrugged her shoulders at the last part, as if that explained it. My heart scrunched at her un-fulfilled dream, why had her childhood been so sad, and lonely? I seriously don't know how she managed to be the happy person she was when I first met her.

"So… you are ok with getting them a puppy?"

"Of course, anything for them."

"Do you have any more questions?" Patricia asked politely.

"I don't think so." I responded.

"Very well then, I'll give you two a minute but before that I just wanted to let you know that as a family counselor too I'll be more than pleased to help you in anything you need, and I'm not talking just about Marie and Andrew's issues… If you need help or one of you just want to vent or seek for advice I'm more than willing to be of service."

"Thank you Patricia." Bella said and I nodded.

She gave us a kind and sympathetic smile and quietly stood up and left the room.

…

…

I turned to Bella and kissed her head softly.

"How are you?" I asked her in a whisper.

"I feel like shit… as always it's my fault."

"Hey, stop that… you heard her… this kind of behavior is common."

"Yes, but my actions didn't help." She said pulling at her hair again in frustration.

"Bella, as Patricia said… we have to move on… the past is the past, let's focus on Marie and Andrew now… and us." I told her and she nodded.

"Ok, I'm sorry." She said, clearing a tear with the back of her hand.

"For what?"

"For everything…" She said lifting her head and meeting my eyes. "for running away without telling you… for keeping them from you and… for being so hard on you lately." She said as more tears spilled over her cheeks. I kissed them away and wrapped my arms around her tightly, and surprisingly… she held me back, slowly wrapping her little arms around my neck.

"It's Ok, just don't pull away from me again…" I pleaded caressing her back in comfort.

"What do you mean?" She asked against my shoulder.

"Don't let Marie and Andrew's issues come between us please… we can be careful but please don't change your mind about this." I said as I tightened my arms around her.

"No, I promised you I would try." She said leaning away from me so she could meet my eyes. "Edward… I know I'm being careful and that sometimes I am cryptic about everything I do or say but that's just me trying to protect myself, it doesn't mean I don't want to try this… I do wish we could be all together someday in the future… but as I told you it's hard to leave old habits in the past… but I'm trying." She confessed and I could hear the sincerity in her voice, my heart responded to it by beating a hundred miles per hour.

"Is there anything I can do to help you trust me again?" I asked in a tight voice and she shook her head and put her forehead against mine closing her eyes.

"Just… be you."

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, but as we already told you the last time you called… visits are not allowed, not even family."<p>

"I understand but… it's really important I talk to Miss Denali… do you know when she'll be out."

"I'm sorry, but I can't give you that type of information."

FUCK THIS SHIT!

"Why can't she take calls at least?"

"Miss Denali's case is very delicate Mr. Cullen, this could probably be her last chance at rehab, and any distraction or situation that could upset her can be very dangerous with her recovery and future wellbeing." The woman said exasperatedly, I knew she was getting tired of my calls.

I sighed in resignation.

"Of course, I understand but please… as soon as visits or calls are allowed could you let me know?" I pleaded.

"Of course Mr. Cullen, we'll let you know as soon as something comes up."

"Thank you so much, I guess I'll wait for your call then."

"Goodbye Mr. Cullen."

"Goodbye." I said and ended the call. I let out an exasperated sigh and massaged my temples with my index and middle fingers. I had had a hard time sleeping for the past days and now I was feeling it. I had a headache and felt restless and moody.

What a way to start the weekend.

The reasons behind my sleepless nights were obviously my kids and my relationship with Bella, I feared that Marie and Andrew's issues would create a breach between us because of her fear of hurting them even though Bella had assured me we were fine. Of course I worried about them too, but it worried me more that Bella would change her mind as I know in the long run it would affect Andrew and Marie more if Bella and I didn't solve out problems.

A knock on the door brought me out of my musings and I lifted my head to find Alice popping her head through the door.

"Hi ginger! Can I come in?" She asked brightly and my mood changed drastically. Seeing my chirpy sister did that to me, she was always happy and cheerful. I loved her to death.

"What's up pixie?" I greeted her and she flashed her big smile to me.

"I'm here with a request."

Jeez, not even a how are you?

"Coming from you I don't know if I want to hear it." I teased her.

"Come to brunch tomorrow." She said straight to the point.

"What?" I asked surprised by her request, we had talked about this. Andrew and Marie feared Rosalie in spite of my assurances that she wasn't a bad person, but as she hadn't done anything to prove it they were still reluctant about meeting her again.

"With Bella and the kids of course… I talked to Rosalie well, threatened for a better word. She won't be a problem." She said proud of herself.

"Why do you want us to come?"

"Because it has been a long time since we have all been together and because I know it would make mom's day." She said sincerely. "Plus, I got this cute little soldier outfit for Andrew and I want to give it to him already!" She said jumping up and down and clapping her hands together. Poor Camille, I could picture her going from one side to the other in Alice's big round belly.

Which reminded me.

"How did everything go? Is everything alright with my niece?"

"She is perfect! Ten fingers and ten toes! Dr. Stanley said I'll be due in February."

"That's good, it'll be close to Marie and Andrew's birthday."

"I KNOW! Bella and I can plan parties together, it would be sooo much fun!"

"Jeez Alice, I have ears remember?" I said wincing slightly at her high pitched voice, thankfully Andrew's voice would change when puberty hit. Jeez, I could already tell he will give us a hard time.

Alice stuck her tongue out at me.

"So, are you coming to brunch tomorrow?"

"I don't know Alice, let me talk to Bella first… see if she is okay with it."

"How are things between you two?" She asked, her face sobering a little.

"Good."

"Define good." She said skeptically.

"Well, we've been talking and…"

"And what?"

"She is giving me a chance."

"AGHHH!" She squealed throwing her arms in the air.

"Fuck Alice! SHHHH! We have patients here!" I hissed but I still couldn't hide my smile.

"This is GREAT! Now you definitely should come over tomorrow!"

"I don't know Alice, things have been going good between us, I don't want jeopardize that."

"Just talk to her about it, I promise Rose will be at her finest or she'll respond to me."

"I'll talk to Bella, but I don't promise anything."

"Okay, well that was it. I'm going… what are your plans for today?"

"Well, it's Saturday… I just came to the clinic to check on a patient whose mom work during the week so she couldn't bring him then. I'm picking them up at noon, we are having lunch together and then Bella and I are taking them to High Park." I lied, I didn't want to tell her about my real plans, for some reason they felt too personal.

"Oh, that's great! Good luck! Please think about tomorrow, I think it would be good for the kids to spend some time with the rest of the family too."

"I promise I'll think about it, but you have to understand that I won't force them, especially Bella."

"Okay, okay… I get it."

"Bye pixie."

"Bye ginger!" She giggled and was out of the door in a second.

* * *

><p>It was a quarter to noon when I parked next to Bella's SUV I got out of the car and quickly made my way into the porch. As I neared the house I could hear the loud music coming from inside. I knocked on the door but of course no one heard me with <em>What makes you beautiful<em> so loud on the speakers, so I used my spare key and got inside. The loud noise came from the kitchen so I made my way there but stopped on my tracks as soon as I crossed the threshold.

In the middle of the kitchen Bella and Andrew danced around the kitchen island, well… Bella danced Andrew looked more like killing cucarachas on the floor, hitting it at a quick step with his little chubby feet. Marie sat on the counter top, clapping and laughing at Bella and Andrew's antics, but it wasn't the show that had me so speechless… it was Bella's joy.

This was a side of her that I haven't seen in years, especially since I found her again. She resembled more of my old pretty girl. She was laughing, jumping, twirling around and joking with Andrew and Marie. She was wearing her brown dress again, but her hair was up in a pony tail.

While watching them in amusement I caught the smell something sweet, delicious and familiar in the background, the smell brought old memories forward and a smile spread on my lips so big I thought my face was going to split in two.

I forgot about my headache.

Marie caught a glimpse of me and her eyes became even brighter and her giggles became laughs as she was laughing now at her mom and brother getting caught in their silly dance. I shook my head and motioned her to be silent, I brought out my phone and snapped a picture.

The snapping of the camera finally caught Bella and Andrew's attention, they both turned so fast Bella had to take a hold of one of the barstools to steady herself from falling.

"Edward!" Bella screamed, bringing a hand to her chest, her face a thousand shades of red from embarrassment. "Why didn't you knock?" She said turning off the speakers.

"I did" I chuckled "but with One Direction in town nobody listened." Andrew and Marie laughed and Bella's cheeks became even more flushed, she was so cute.

"Daddy!" Andrew greeted me and ran to me jumping into my arms "Me, mommy and Marie did cheesecake!"

"I can tell, it smells delicious." I said kissing his hair and putting him on the floor.

Marie came then to greet me too. After kissing her hello I stood up to greet Bella. She was still a little flushed from all the dancing and jumping, so beautiful. I kissed her left cheek and our eyes locked for a second and I was unsure of what to do or say next, especially with Andrew and Marie still in the kitchen.

"Babies, why don't you go and fetch the drawings you did at school so you can show them to daddy?" Bella said then.

"YES!" Both cheered in unison and darted out of the kitchen.

…

…

"Hi." I said losing myself in her eyes.

"Hi," She said shyly "Sorry about that." She gestured to the speakers.

"Don't be silly, you looked like enjoying yourself… it was nice to see you so carefree." I said sincerely and she blushed again.

"Did you get it?" She asked then, changing the subject but her eyes were still alight.

"Yes." I said smiling at her.

"You did?" her smile become wider "Is it a she or a he?"

"It's a he." I answered.

"What kind?" She asked with her eyes bright and curious.

"You'll see," I winked at her "he is in the car so we must hurry."

"Oh okay, why don't yo-"

"Daddy! Look! I draw our house!" Andrew yelled entering into the kitchen waving a piece of paper in the air with Marie at his heels.

"And I draw us!" Marie said then, I lowered to sit on my hunches and took the drawings from them.

"Wow, this is pretty cool." I compliment them smiling proudly at them. "And guess what?" I said then, excited now about what we were going to do.

For some reason this felt so special to me. I guess Patricia was right, a dog will bring us closer. I saw the metaphor in it, caring and raising him together will be like caring and nurturing our bonds too.

"What?" Andrew asked brightly.

"Mommy and I have a surprise for you." I informed her.

"A surprise?" Marie asked, looking from me to Bella and back at me. Her eyes searching for something, did I see hope in them?

"Yep." I said popping the p "it's in the car so I'll go and get it, wait here for a second." I said and stood up and walked hurriedly out of the kitchen. I went outside and opened the back door from my car, taking the pup from the box where he was jumping up and down trying to get out. He struggled to get out of my hands but I held him on my chest. I walked back into the house and closed the door, when I neared the kitchen I heard Andrew ask questions impatiently at Bella wanting to know what the surprise was.

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen three heads turned abruptly to me, Marie and Andrew gasped before big smiles broke on their tiny faces and screams of utter joy came from their lungs. I put the puppy on the floor and he automatically ran to my jumping and over excited kids. Bella had happy tears in her eyes while she watched them pet their new pet, and I just stared at them in awe.

Why haven't we done this before?

"Is he for us?" Marie asked in a strange voice and I turned to her. She had tears in her gorgeous eyes.

"Of course princess, mommy and I got him for you."

"How old is he?" She asked watching him closer and caressing his back while Andrew put his fingers in front of the dog's mouth, playing with him as the puppy tried to bit him.

"Four months." I said kneeling next to them and Bella sat with us too.

"He's so little."

"He looks older." Andrew pointed out in his high pitched voice.

"That's because dogs grow up fast, but he's still a baby." Bella said softly.

"Where's his mommy?" Marie asked in concern and I smiled at her beautiful innocent heart.

"We don't know honey, that's why I got him for you. He doesn't have a mommy so he needs someone to take care of him, do you think you could do that?"

"Of course! I can be his mommy please don't take it away… I want him." She pleaded to me.

"I'm very glad to hear that, and no I won't take him away but you have to promise that you and Andrew are going to take good care of him, that you are going to feed him, play with him and love him. Can you promise that?"

"YES!" Andrew and Marie cheered.

"Okay, I trust you with him and mommy and I will help you of course."

"Of course, daddy and I will help you with the big tasks but you major job will be to make him happy and content." Bella said smiling at them.

"He's soo pretty!" Marie cheered "I love him so much! Thank you!" Marie said kissing Bella's check and then mine.

"You're welcome princess."

"Ok, so first things first… We should find a name for him." Bella said wiggling her eyebrows at them.

"TAYSON!" Andrew suggested immediately.

"Eww! No!" Marie said scrunching her face.

"Why not?" Andrew asked.

"He's too pretty to be a Tayson." She said making a face.

Bella and I chuckled.

"What about… Tobby?" I suggested.

"No, me don't like Tobby." Andrew said. "Oh! I know Buzz!"

"He is not a toy! Oh! Chip!" Marie smiled then.

"He is not a squirrel!" Andrew said in exasperation pulling at his hair and Marie's face fell.

"Dash?" Bella suggested.

"I like Dash." I said.

"I don't."

"Me neither." Marie said and I rolled my eyes at them.

This could take a while.

"ROCKY!" Andrew yelled.

"No, he's not a rocky." Marie said scrunching his nose a little.

"What about Sam?" Bella said then.

"Sam…" I mussed.

"I like Sam!" Marie said happily.

"Me too!" Andrew agreed and I stared at the puppy who now was on Bella's lap playing with the hem of her dress.

"He looks like a Sam." I said and Bella smiled at me.

"Then Sam it is." She said caressing the back of _Sam's_ right ear. "Honeys, why don't you take Sam out to the backyard while I make you something for lunch."

"We need to feed Sam too." Marie said pointedly and Bella and I laughed again. Bella's eyes were still red with unshed tears.

"Of course sweetie, I'll go and get his stuff from my car." I assured her.

"His stuff?" Andrew asked curiously.

"Yeah, his food, cushion… and I got him a dog house for outside… and you as the man of the house are going to help me to set it up."

"YES! Is it red?" He asked excitedly.

"Sorry kiddo, just plain wood… but you and Marie can paint it later." I smiled at him.

"Ok!"

"But put your sweater on first, its cold outside." Bella said handing them their sweaters that were on the counter.

We helped them put them on and Marie and Andrew stood up and took Sam outside, thankfully the backyard was fenced so Sam wouldn't escape and the kids were safe. Bella and I stayed on the kitchen floor watching them go through the back door on the kitchen. They were arguing about what color the house would be, Marie wanted it purple of course and Andrew wanted it red. As soon as they closed the door behind them Bella turned to me.

"A beagle?" She asked, her eyes moist.

"For my pretty girl." I told her and softly kissed her temple.

"Thank you." She smiled at me, a tear escaping her left eye and I could only smile back at her. My heart about to explode at her happiness, finally I did something right.

* * *

><p>"Sam! Bring the ball back!" An exasperated Andrew was yelling to an oblivious Sam as he tried to play catch with him, but every time Andrew threw the ball Sam would run after it and just sit and chew it.<p>

It was pretty funny.

When Andrew and I were done assembling the dog house, Bella had lunch ready and the four of us had eaten it on the porch steps as the kids didn't want to go inside. Andrew had discreetly tried to give his vegetables to Sam, and every time Bella would call him on it, of course he would pout every time so Bella didn't have a chance. She gave up after the sixth try rolling her eyes at him.

The little devil chuckled.

So now I was at the porch swing enjoying the view. Marie was painting Sam's house with her markers and Andrew continued with his one sided conversation with Sam. Trying to explain him the game, Sam founded his shoe laces more interesting.

From the corner of my eye I saw Bella coming out of the kitchen.

"He is so stubborn." Bella said handing me a cup of coffee and sitting next to me on the swing.

"I wonder who he gets that from?" I said in mocking contemplation making her huff but she still couldn't hide her smile completely.

"Well, it's nice to know that at least one of them have something from me… they couldn't look or be any more like you." She said with a smile and took a sip of her coffee.

"They have the shape of your eyes."

She squinted her eyes and examined them further.

"No they don't."

"Yes they do… and your nose thankfully."

She laughed out loud.

"Oh yes, god forbid they had your nose." She said sarcastically and rolling her eyes at me. The things this woman did to me, it was so good to see her like this. So carefree and relaxed.

"What did you do today? Besides picking up Sam?" She asked.

"I went to the clinic, special appointment… Alice was there on a check up by the way."

"Oh, how is she? I haven't seen her since that time we had dinner." She said, her voice lowering at the end of the sentence. Yeah, I knew what dinner she was talking about, that night she had confronted me about my suicide attempt.

"She is fine, she is due in February."

Her eyes sparkled.

"Wow, it's getting close… almost four months."

"Yeah, she is really excited… she is driving Jasper crazy though."

"Did she set up her so precious balcony yet?" She joked and I laughed out loud.

"I don't know she probably did it before Camille was even conceived."

…

…

"How are Emmet and Rosalie?" She asked then and I let out a long sigh.

"They are Ok, considering what they are going through… I went to the gym with Em last Wednesday, he seemed Ok… I think they are finally talking about it."

"Will they consider adoption?"

"That's plan B."

"Plan B?"

"Yeah, they are considering in vitro?"

"But, is that possible with Rosalie?"

…

…

"No, not with Rosalie."

…

…

"Wow… I don't know if I could do that." Bella said and that caught my attention, honestly I wasn't really keen into the idea either.

"Why?" I asked her, really curious.

"Well… if I couldn't have kids, with so many homeless kids in the world why not to give a home to one of them? Why not to give them the chance to a better life?" She said staring at Andrew and Marie.

"I agree with you, besides I don't know how I would feel about trusting a stranger to carry my child."

"That too... it's a hard decision on both of them."

…

…

"Can I ask you a question?" I said tentatively.

"Sure." She said turning to me curiously at my tone.

"Were you really that lonely as a child?" I asked softly and she turned her head back to the backyard, a faraway look taking place in her beautiful face.

"Well… I was an only child, Renee wasn't there and Charlie worked all day… I guess to keep his mind occupied and to forget his sorrows… Sue, our neighbor would keep an eye on me when I was young but that was it."

"What did you do all day?" I asked, and I could hear the sadness in my own voice. She hadn't had a normal childhood, that explained why she was so devoted to our kids, so lovable and nurturing.

"At first I immersed myself in my books, started painting when I was about ten, when I turned fourteen I asked Sue to teach me how to use the oven… and started baking. As you already know that's how I first started to earn money for coming to Toronto… then I got my job at the diner so I didn't feel that alone as I was doing something, I kept myself distracted."

"Didn't Charlie help you with the expenses?"

"He wanted to, but I didn't want to accept his money… it was for his retirement." I chuckled without humor.

"That sounds like you." I told her and she rolled her eyes at me. "Why is it so hard for you to accept things?"

"You know I'm not a material girl." She said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, that's one of the reasons why I love you but why didn't you accept your dad's help? It was his responsibility after all, that's not being a materialist."

…

…

"Edward… gifts and money don't mean anything to me, Charlie paying for everything was his way of saying I'm sorry for not being a better father… and I didn't want that, he was easing his way out and it bothered me, I wanted him to be there for me… and he never even said sorry. I was devastated too when my mom left, and he just walked out on me too. I love Charlie with all my heart and I do understand his grief, and I know he loves me too but he shouldn't have done what he did, I could as well have been a homeless kid… I didn't have either of my parents with me. I didn't want nor needed his money, I wanted him to hug me and kiss me good night every night, or to be there with me when I was scared of storms… a check won't bring my childhood back."

…

…

"I'm sorry Bella." I said feeling her pain while a vision of a scared little brunette girl alone in the middle of her bed in a storm night haunted my mind. "Is that why you didn't want to accept my help at first too? Because that wasn't what you wanted?"

…

…

"I guess."

"What did you want then?"

"I don't know…"

…

…

"And now? Bella, what do you want from me?" I asked with my heart on my throat "Please, help me here. Tell me what you need."

…

…

She seemed to think for what looked like hours but could as well have been seconds. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, when she opened her eyes I could clearly see her vulnerability, even then lightest blow could shake her apart.

"I want you to help me forget… to erase those images from my mind. I want to trust you again." She confessed.

I took her hand in mine, giving it a light kiss on her fingers.

"Oh, Bella… I want you to trust me too, you have no idea and you already know what else I want from you. I want us to be together again." I said baring my soul to her with my eyes.

"Edward, believe me… I do want that too there is nothing else I want more but, I gotta be honest… it's really hard to forget. I know you didn't do it on purpose… but I still can't seem to get rid of those images, it still happened, please understand." She pleaded with her eyes "Sometimes, when I think of you those images just rush back."

I stopped breathing.

"You think of me?" I asked breathless.

…

…

"I _never_ stopped thinking about you." She confessed, feeding my hope in spite of her earlier words about those horrendous images.

…

…

"What did you think about? Before I found you again." I said in a shaky voice.

"I don't know… lots of stuff, I just had to look into Andrew's eyes or hear Marie say something smart and you would be in my mind."

"Why didn't you call after the birth?"

Fuck, I sounded so whiny.

"I told you… I was afraid."

"What were you afraid of?"

"I don't know, lots of stuff, the scenarios in my mind."

"Like what? What scenarios."

…

…

"That she was still around."

"Why would you think that? Didn't dad tell you otherwise?" I said aghast.

"Yes… but I still had my fears."

"Why?" I asked and she just shrugged.

…

…

"Did you ever see her again?" She asked in a whisper.

"No, that morning was the last time I saw her."

"You swear?" She asked, as if that question was the answer to something.

"Ye-es… why? What's going on? Bella, I'd never lie to you."

She looked into my eyes, searching for something.

"Ok, I believe you."

"C'mon babies, get inside its getting cold." Bella rushed Andrew and Marie in. Sam tagging along, I had also gotten him a cushion so he could sleep inside in the cold winter.

"I'm humgry mommy." Andrew said.

"Mhmmm, I wonder why if you obediently ate all you vegetables earlier." Bella said sarcastically at him.

"Sorry-mommy-I-love-you." Andrew said quickly in his charming cute voice and Bella's eyes soften.

"You can't use that one again for the rest of the weekend." Andrew smiled and stood on his toes trying to reach Bella, she leaned down and Andrew kissed her cheek. "Ok, now both of you take off your shoes and go to wash your hands so you can have dinner before you leave with daddy."

"Can't we watch a movie after dinner?" Marie asked innocently.

"A movie?" Bella asked.

"Yes, before we go with daddy." Bella turned to me in askance and I nodded.

"Ok sweetie but only if your brother eats all his veggies." Bella said smiling innocently at Andrew who made a yukki face.

"Awwww mom!"

"Do we have a deal?" She asked with humor in her eyes.

"Only carrots, no broccoli."

"Deal." Bella beamed at him.

Dinner went smoothly, with Sam rounding the table in search of any pieces of food. Somehow he seemed to find a lot of carrots under the table. After dinner we all settled in the TV room, each with a plate of cheese cake in hand. It was as delicious as I remembered, the kids decided on Cars which of course I have never seen before but Bella sighed patiently.

"At least is not Rapunzel or Captain America again." She had told me quietly and I chuckled. "I do kinda miss Pirate's of the Caribbean."

Andrew sat on the floor next to Sam and Marie was cuddled between me and Bella. At some point in the middle of the movie she move to the floor and sat next to Sam petting him.

"I wanted to ask you something." I whispered in her ear.

"What's that?" She whispered back turning her attention to me.

"I want you to be honest, if you don't want to I'll understand."

"Okay?"

"Can we go tomorrow to brunch? To my parent's house?"

"Brunch?"

"Yeah, Alice promised me Rosalie would be at her finest and… I just want them to spend some time with the rest of the family too… I don't want them to be strangers in their lives, but if it makes you uncomfortable we don't have to go." I said honestly. It was true, I did want them to hang out with my family more often.

"Why don't you take them?"

"Because it's all of us or none of us. I want you to come with us, remember what the counselor said, we need to do stuff together and honestly Bella, if something is going to happen between us in the future… you need to face Rosalie at some point. She is my brother's wife."

"Yeah, I know that I just didn't expect you to ask me that anytime soon."

"I'm not asking you to do it, you have a choice I'm just stating the obvious. I know what Rosalie did was out of line but she is human, we all make mistakes. She knows better now not to try and do anything, besides you know she is not a bad person she is just going through a bad time." I said carefully, gauging her reaction.

…

…

"Okay, we can go but Marie is scared of her… I know I deserved some of the stuff she told me, and she can yell at me all she wants but I don't want her near Marie unless she apologizes to her and Andrew for scaring them. You know how she stresses over the tiniest things and I know her presence only will make her uncomfortable. I don't want Marie to have another attack." She said sternly.

"Don't worry about that, I'll talk to her first if that makes you feel better."

"Ok…" She took a breath "So, brunch tomorrow huh?"

"Thank you." I said kissing the top of her head, feeling relieved.

She smiled back at me.

* * *

><p>Sooo, what do you think? PLEASE REVIEW! Don't forget to visit the blog so you can meet Sam, I'll post a teaser of ch 23 there during the week! I'll also keep giving teasers on twitter!<p>

Next chepter will be up this weekend...

Saludos!

tpec


	23. Chapter 23: Just The Way You Are

**Hi guys! Phew! 11 000 + words!**

**I'll be quick, because I know you are dying for this... just a quick thanks:**

**Thanks to my awesome beta Cattinson, good luck on you exams honey!**

**Thanks to Lisopera for pre-reading this chapter and for her awesome support, words and love for this story**

**And last but not least, I wanna dedicate this chapter to a couple of readers: Renata Nunes and Lumichelutti, you'll know why ;) Thank you girls for you awesome support on twitter!**

**I highly recommend you to listen to the song for this chapter, it's a different version from the original with my favorite band, here is the link!: www. youtube watch?v=GhFSgnvKqm4**

**Every character belongs to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23: "Just The Way You Are"<strong>

"**Just The Way you Are" – Boyce Avenue**

Oh her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining

Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday

Yeah I know, I know

when I compliment her she wont believe me

And it's so it's so sad to think she don't see what I see

But everytime she asks me do I look okay

I say

When I see your face

there's not a thing that I would change

Cause you're amazing

Just the way you are

And when you smile

the whole world stops and stares for a while

Cause girl you're amazing

Just the way you are.

The kids had fallen asleep somewhere during the movie, they looked so peaceful Bella and I didn't have the heart to wake them up and take them to my house, besides it was hailing outside so taking them out in the cold wet night was out of the question. Instead Bella and I had carried them to their comfy and warm beds once the movie was over.

Bella and I hadn't even realized the movie was over until Sam had started chewing at the hem of my pants and we realized that the credits were rolling on the screen. After my request of them coming tomorrow for brunch we had continued talking quietly, -careful of Marie's not so subtle eavesdropping- wrapped up in our little bubble. I had asked her to tell me about how she got her job, and she had also confessed to me about her wish of writing a book someday and to take the kids to Disneyland as she had never been there as a child and wished for our kids to have that experience. I listened to her eagerly, not wanting to miss anything she had to tell me, listening to her new dreams and hopes. Those certainly changed from the ones she had four years ago and I wanted to know them all.

I cherished those moments, when she let her guard down and I could really see her. She looked so beautiful every time she got that far away look when she thought about my questions or every time she smiled softly with her answers, her smile was gorgeous and of course I had noticed that she had done that a lot today, especially when all of us had had dinner together. My pretty girl was coming back, I knew it. She just needed a push to finally let herself free.

I missed her like crazy, I missed my pretty girl.

Bella is here, and I love her with all my heart but it hurts to still see that shadow covering her, it hurts that she is here, so close but so far at the same time.

Do I make any sense?

I would be a liar if I said that I didn't miss my pretty girl, that other side of hers. But I do love discovering this new side of her… it is more intimate, more close to her heart, it makes me fall all over again for her. We had got engaged so soon we barely knew each other back then so in a way I was finally getting to know Bella completely. Back then I had fallen for her because of her happy spirit, gentle heart and love for life, now I was falling for her soul I was finally getting into her mind slowly but surely. I know how she was in the outside, before everything went to hell and I thought I knew how she was in the inside, but boy I was wrong.

The night of the storm I had finally heard a little about her family past, and now a lot of her behavior and personality made more sense to me, and with every small conversation we have now, whereas in the coffee house like the other day, today at the swing porch or like tonight while the kids watched their movie and combined with every gesture, tone or face she makes I get to know her better. She used to be so full of life because she had known sadness, she used to be such a happy person because she had seen enough bitterness from Charlie, and now she is so devoted to Andrew and Marie because she knew what was like to grow up without parent figures. She doesn't like to accept help from others because she is used to be independent and because she feels the need to constantly prove herself. She is not a materialist because what she really craved all her life was affection, and it's hard for her to accept mine because she is afraid of getting hurt again. Growing up her dad had used the word love as a curse and she had ignored him and took a risk with me, and even without wanting to I had hurt her so it was obvious why she was so careful about us now. Something else, out of our control could happen and she was afraid, especially for the kids as she had told me the morning after the storm.

But even though I love discovering this side of hers, I wish my pretty girl was here too.

She is not here yet… at least not completely but I have faith that soon she will. She is slowly coming along, I can see that clearly but even if she wasn't, if I had to I'd wait forever… I'd do it. I'll never give up on her, I need my pretty girl back especially because it was me who made her like that. I miss her sparkling eyes, her wit and her playfulness. How she would always kiss me hello, her silly dances or how she would tease me about my flaws. I missed her glee and love for life. Her smile, she has the most beautiful smile I've ever seen… and it bothers me that I don't see it that often now.

Her kisses.

Oh god, how much I miss her lips… but I swore to myself that I would never kiss her again until she'd let me, which I don't know how I was going to keep myself from doing that, especially since it has been four long years since the last time I had done _it_, and I had to be honest… junior was getting really impatient and was begging me for some attention, especially after seeing her today in that dress. That brown dress that Marie had made her wear looked stunning on her. The rich brown color contrasted against her pale skin perfectly and it matched her gorgeous eyes lovingly. She wasn't as skinny anymore, her cheeks were fuller and rosy, her curves more pronounced and her breasts had certainly taken advantage of her new healthy living style.

Jeez, I really needed some action… the last time I had been with a woman -to me- had been my pretty girl more than four years ago, Slutanya doesn't count of course, I didn't even fucking remember doing it with her until a few weeks ago.

I wish I hadn't remembered that part of that dreadful night by the way. Just thinking about it made my skin crawl in disgust.

I shook my head to clear the images away.

Anyway, as I was saying… Bella was finally and thankfully relaxing around me, letting me in slowly but surely and I couldn't be happier about that. That's what I had asked for, for a tiny little chance and she was giving it to me. I just wish I knew what to do, for her to finally accept me completely, as her lover and not just the father of our children.

With a sigh I parked in my driveway and got out squeezing my jacket around me. It was getting colder and colder every day with the winter approaching at a quick speed. I stepped inside my house but before getting ready for the night I decided to make a quick call.

"Hello?" Emmet answered a little distracted and I could hear the TV in the background.

"Hi Em, its Edward."

"Oh, what's up ginger?" He said in a lighter tone but I could tell his attention was still on the TV.

"Is Rosalie home?"

"Yeah, she is downstairs… why?" He asked cautiously.

"Could you get her for me? I need to talk to her."

"Oookay? I'll go and get her, just wait a sec." He said and after a minute an amused Rose answered the phone.

"Well, this must be good."

"I guess you know why I'm calling for?" I said sternly.

"Making sure I don't go crazy and nasty towards Maggie Carpenter?"

"Who?" I asked stupidly.

"You've never seen Runaway Bride?"

"No."

"Okay forget it then, and you can save your little speech. Alice already threatened to suck my blood if I do as much as breathe oxygen within at least 10 feet around Bella's personal space."

"I'm serious Rosalie, don't do anything stupid."

"Oh, cut it out! Don't you know sarcasm anymore? Jesus, I'm not a monster you know? I may not like Bella but I do love Andrew and Marie and I told you I was sorry about last time."

"I know Rosalie I just wanted to make things clear. Marie is afraid of you so unless you apologize to them please don't go near my children. I don't want another scene like last time."

…

…

"I told you I was sorry." She said in a softer tone.

"It's not me who you have to apologize to. Rosalie you have no idea how much I want my family to be together and for you to be a part of my children's lives but things are already hard for them so please don't make it more difficult and be nice tomorrow. I know you have your opinions about Bella's actions but I don't care about them, I forgave her and it's not something that should matter to you… tomorrow is very important to me, please understand."

…

…

"You really love her don't you?"

"So much I don't think it's healthy anymore." I answered her.

"Yeah, I won't argue about that." She muttered and then sighed "Edward, Bella is not my favorite person in the world I was there when she was gone… I saw how broken you were, it made me angry what a high price you paid for your stupid mistakes. I know how much you have suffered and I know you must be sick of it and the last thing you need is me making things more difficult. I'm sorry about what I did, I'm not your enemy and I'm truly hurt that you all still think less of me when what I thought I was doing was stepping up for you."

"Thank you Rosalie but I don't need anyone stepping up for me… what I need is your support, you know what I want… I only want to have my family back, I'll do whatever it takes to have Bella back and I'll need my family with me tomorrow not a ministry of defense."

"Don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic… Rosalie just put yourself in my shoes for a second, imagine if you had what you always wanted at the tip of your fingers but still you couldn't have it? I'm getting closer there, don't ruin it for me."

…

…

…

"I understand how important this is for you. You have my word I won't do anything stupid tomorrow." She surprised me by her soft and resigned tone.

"Thank you." I let out a sigh of relief.

"See you tomorrow." She said softly and hung up.

* * *

><p>The alarm on my clock wakes me up.<p>

I jump out of bed and start to get ready for today's events. I'm nervous as hell I want everything to go perfect. Today meant a lot to me as it was a great opportunity to show Bella how great it could be, how easy and familiar could it be if she just finally let me all the way in.

After showering and shaving I put on a pair of jeans and my favorite blue v-neck shirt, the one I know used to be one of her favorites on me and put my black leather jacket on. Before heading home I make a quick call to mom letting her know about Bella and the kids coming. I don't want her to be mad at me like last time.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" She yelled at me over the phone, well I guess it didn't matter if I called her or not.

"I'm telling you now!"

"Oh god! This is great! PERFECT! But god dammit Edward you could have fucking warned me! I gotta go! I need to go to the groceries store! Shit, there are no more of Andrew's cookies left either…" She said to herself "or Marie's pretzels… dammit! Mrs. Cope!"

And she hung up.

I shook my head at myself. Mom was crazy about Andrew and Marie that was clear. It made me feel warm inside how much joy they seemed to bring to my parents. What can I say? My kids were fucking perfect.

Before leaving the house I made a quick call to Bella letting her know that I'll pick them up in about an hour as I had to do a quick stop first.

"It's ok we are almost ready we'll wait for you." She had said a little agitatedly.

"Is everything ok?" I asked her.

"Yeah, is just that Marie… she threw a silly tantrum."

"Why?" I asked in concern.

"She wants me to wear my brown dress again, but I already wore it yesterday. Don't know what the fuss about that dress is, she wants me to wear it all the time." She said the last to herself.

"Well, it does look lovely on you."

"Thanks." I'll bet everything that she was blushing now, I knew that voice. "Anyway, I gotta go someone's at the door. I'll see you in a few."

"Ok, see ya."

"Bye pretty boy."

…

…

…

I gulped.

"Bella?"

"Uhmm… someone's at the door. See you later."

As cheesy as it sounds… I felt like dancing in the rain. I know she didn't intend to but it was amazing… funny how one tiny little word, -or two in this case- from the right person can turn your whole day around.

* * *

><p>Have you ever driven around the city, thinking about someone and then realized you were smiling the whole time?<p>

Yeah, that's what's happening to me right now.

On my way home I stopped into a flower shop and bought a small bouquet of pink roses wrapped in purple paper, once in the car I took one of the roses from the bouquet and hid it in the inside pocket of my jacket. Next I went to Tim Hortons and ordered coffee for me and Bella and some timbits for the kids.

The traffic was heavy so I was running a little late, when I finally made it, I parked my car next to Bella's SUV and went to the front door hiding the bouquet on my back. I stood in front of the door, I took a breath but when I raised my hand about to ring the doorbell the door abruptly opened.

What the hell?

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed lividly. What a way to throw my good mood through the window.

"You know? Your lack of trusting is starting piss the fuck out of me."

"My lack of trusting? Rose, you promised! I thought we had a deal!"

"Yes, you asked me not to go near your kids or Bella until I apologize… and that's what I did."

"What are you talking about?" I asked angrily, my heart beat picking up and my head going through different scenarios about what I would find inside.

Bella, shit!

"You said today was important for you, so I came and had a little talk with Bella… we just talked things through and I apologize to your kids."

I took deep breathes and passed a hand through my hair to try and calm myself.

"And how did it go?" I asked worriedly after a moment, if she came to apologize it couldn't have been that bad right?

Right?

"Well… we are not anywhere near besties, neither did we hug each other but at least we talked without turning this into a blood bath." I suddenly saw red, if she had said the wrong thing…

"Fuck Rosalie, what did you two talked about? I swear if y-" I tried to walk past her into the house to look for Bella but she stopped me.

"Would you calm down! Don't overreact jezus! Nothing major happened and if you wanna know what we talked about that's between Bella and I."

Fuck! That couldn't be any good.

"Why did you even come? I thought you hated her." I spat "Rosalie if you made her shed a single tear, I swea-"

"Oh stop that! You know Edward you can't always be breathing over her shoulder, she needs to confront things by herself too, stop walking around eggshells with her. It's not going to take you anywhere. Bella needs to face her fears and take responsibility too. I just came here to apologize I thought you'd be grateful."

"And why the sudden change of heart may I ask?" I said sarcastically.

…

…

"Last night when you called you said something, it struck a nerve so I thought about it and came to a conclusion."

"And what is that?"

"You told me to put myself in your shoes… and that's what I did. I understand why this is important to you, so I thought I needed to have a little chat with Bella before today."

A little chat? I felt like punching my fists into a wall, Rosalie didn't do chats.

This wasn't her business in the first place.

"How is she?" I asked harshly.

"Fine, don't go overprotective on her she doesn't need it for fuck sakes. She is a grown up woman. I got my say she got hers, of course we didn't agree in much but she understood where I came from, and she did open her mind a little."

"What do you mean when you say that?"

"That's between her and me."

"Fuck Rosalie! Give me a heads up about what I'll find in there! What did you tell her?"

"Nothing but the truth, shit just relax! Nothing bad happened she is capable of handling herself you know? She isn't as weak as you think she just needs a little incentive."

Incentive? What does she mean about that? But before I could ask she continued.

"Now, I have to go. Emmet is waiting for me."

"Wait! What about Andrew and Marie? Did you talk to them?"

To my surprise she laughed wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, I talked to them… at least that's what Marie and I did as for Andrew… boy that kid is going to give you trouble."

"What did he do?"

"The little guy threatened to hold me prisoner if I made his mommy cry again… there was a little bit of yelling and barking out orders involved too."

I chuckled in spite of myself, that kid was nuts.

"By the way, good thinking about Sam. He's cute."

"Thanks." I muttered, my anger coming back.

"See you in a few."

"Bye." I answered and with that she passed by me and headed to her car across the street which I hadn't noticed when I first arrived.

I walked hurriedly inside the house, not knowing what to expect. Rosalie said things had gone Ok but I knew Bella. She could have said she was Ok but that could have been an act.

"Bella?" I called for her but no one answered.

Shit! Was she crying? Was she avoiding me again?

"Bella?" My heart beat started to increase at the silence.

"Bella? Where are you?"

I remembered the bouquet of flowers still on my hand and hid it on my back, I heard some noise coming from the living room and headed there only to find Marie sitting on the floor petting Sam. She had a sulking face.

Fuck!

"Hey pretty little girl, are you Ok?" I said running to her and she looked up at me with a smile. Glad to see me.

I sighed in relief but I was still apprehensive.

"Daddy!" I discretely put the bouquet on the couch behind her, sat on the floor in front of her and kissed her cheeks.

"What's with the sad face?" I asked her worriedly and she shrugged "Princess, are you Ok? What's wrong?" Her chin quivered and a tear fell from one of her beautiful eyes.

"I want mommy to wear her brown dress today." She whimpered quietly taking me by surprise, I thought this was about Rosalie.

"Is that why you are crying?" I asked still incredulous.

"Yes." She pouted

"Why do you want mommy to wear her brown dress so much?" I asked intrigued. Was she really that upset by a dress?

"She looks pretty."

"Mommy looks pretty in everything she wears sweetie, just like you." I said pinching her check and she giggled softly. "What's the fuss about that dress anyway?"

…

…

"Brown's your favorite color." She said quietly.

Oh.

"You were trying to make mommy look pretty for me?" I asked in awe.

"Yes." She was staring at her hands caressing Sam's head which was on her lap.

Oh, my sweet innocent pretty little girl. She was so smart for her own good, is that what she was trying all along? To make Bella look pretty for me?

She was an angel.

…

…

…

"Honey, do you know why brown is my favorite color?"

"No." She said quietly drying her tears with the back of her hand. I took her and sat her on my lap as Sam immediately started chewing on the hem of my pants.

"Because brown is the color of mommy's eyes." I told her softly and her eyebrows went up in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yes… so no matter what mommy wears she'll always look beautiful to me." I smiled at her.

"You think mommy's pretty?"

"Don't you think so?"

"YES! She is the prettiest in the world!"

"After you she is the most beautiful girl in the world." She smiled brightly "but not everything is about the looks honey." I told her and she just stared at me, waiting for me to continue.

"You wanna know what else I love about mommy?"

She nodded her attention sorely on me.

"She is kind, smart, funny…" I said swaying us from side to side before I grabbed a lock of her hair, placing it behind her ear "gentle, talented and she has the most beautiful soul. I love how she is so dedicated to you and your brother… and how strong she is… she is amazing to me, just because of the way she is."

"What else?" She asked with bright eyes and I chuckled.

"When I first met her… the first thing I noticed was her smile, which is just like yours," I poked her nose lightly "she smiled _all_ the time and I loved it. It made me happy." I said getting lost in memories of her and me in my couch, watching friends or jeopardy together, me playing guitar for her or us laughing at our own silliness on a lazy Sunday morning in bed.

"When did you meet mommy?

"About five years ago, a little bit longer."

"Where?"

"I bumped into her in a coffee shop, I accidentally spilled her coffee on her." She gasped. "I know, I ruined her white shirt."

"Was it love at first sight?" She asked innocently but her question surprised me, those surely weren't words of an almost four year old.

"For me it was." I chuckled lightly and she smiled at me, then I reached for the pink roses' bouquet. "This is for you sweetie." I said and her smile became brilliant.

"Thank you daddy!" She said kissing my cheek and stood up "Mommy's favorite color is green." She said then as an afterthought, she kissed me again and walked around me to get out of the living room. When I turned around to see her go my eyes got locked on Bella's.

She was standing there, reclined on the threshold watching us closely with watered eyes. Marie walked past her with a satisfactory smile on her face and I knew she had known about Bella listening behind us. Had she planned it? Was her little brain capable of that? I didn't think so, but one thing was clear… my pretty little girl was amazing. She rounded the corner heading for the stairs with Sam on her heels.

I stood up and slowly walked towards Bella until I stood in front of her with just some inches between us. She was wearing a knitted long sleeved purple dress with black leggings and black boots. It was simple but so her, and she looked stunning in it. With mere inches between us I longed to touch her, I wish I could wrap my lips around hers… I wish I could kiss her.

Would she let me?

"You heard." I stated and she nodded.

"Every word." She said with her gorgeous eyes still on mine.

I reached for my inner pocket, without breaking our eye contact and retrieve the rose I had saved for her.

"This is for you." I said never leaving her eyes for a second and she took it with a watery smile.

I suddenly had this urge to hold her, to breathe her in. It was like instinct, I needed her, craved her… I loved this woman with all my being and I wanted her, not only emotionally but physically too.

How much longer will I have to wait?

I missed her.

"Thank you, it's beautiful."

…

…

"Sorry about Rosalie… I didn't know she was com-"

"It's Ok Edward… I'm glad she did."

I stared at her in confusion.

"You are?"

She nodded.

"Edward… …I've been so stupid. I'm sorry." She said softly with her voice full of some emotion I couldn't decipher.

"What are you talking about?" I said and then… the most incredible thing happened.

She threw her arms around my neck wrapping me in a tight embrace, her scent was suddenly all around me… overwhelming me. In automatic my arms went around her, bringing her closer to me as possible as I buried my face in the crook of her neck, strawberries and honey invading my nostrils like a drug. This was what I needed, what I wanted… her.

"I'm sorry." She said against my chest again "I'm sorry… I'm in… I'm all in."

When my brain understood what she was saying, when I finally caught meaning of her words a sob broke within my body, and I felt her shudder on my arms.

She was letting me in.

So many emotions swirled through me I didn't know which one was stronger. I felt utter joy, relief, peace, exhaustion and pain… all these emotions that had been bottled inside me finding its way out. I felt as if some ghost or a heavy weight that had been on my shoulders for four fucking years was finally lifting from me.

I suddenly felt lighter… as I knew now that we will be ok, we were going to make it. It was us after all. What was that old saying?

What's meant to be will always find its way.

And Bella and I were meant to be, I never doubted that.

She was perfect.

"I love you." I choked and she broke into sobs too, nodding furiously against my neck. "I love you pretty girl."

"I know."

* * *

><p>"My babies!" Mom cheered as she opened the door to us and Andrew practically jumped from my hip to mom's arms.<p>

"Nana!"

"Why did it take you so long to get here! It's noon already!" Mom said, eyeing discretely but suspiciously at Bella's hand in mine but didn't comment on it.

"Traffic." I simply smiled at her but she threw me knowing look.

"Bella, I'm so glad you decided to join us! How are you honey?" Mom said while kissing Bella's cheek and Marie's who was still on Bella's hip.

"I'm glad too Esme and I'm good thank you." She said squeezing my hand.

I just had a goofy smile on my face.

"Well come in, hurry its cold outside."

"Daddy." Marie called me and stretched her arms towards me motioning me to carry her which I did gladly as Bella passed her to me. As soon as Marie was on my arms she hid her face in my neck.

"What's wrong baby?" Bella asked her but Marie didn't respond. "Are you Ok?"

"We left Sam alone."

"Oh honey, I'm sure he'll be alright." I said.

"But he's alone."

"Don't worry honey, I'm sure he'll be happy exploring the house… maybe we can get him some treats on our way back?" Bella smiled at her, trying to make her feel better and I stared at her with what I knew was a sappy face.

"Ok."

"Who's Sam?" Mom asked.

"Daddy and mommy got us a doggy nana!"

"A dog?" Mom asked surprised.

"YES! AND IT'S SOOO COOL!" He said loudly while mom and I winced, Bella was already used to him.

"Oh, that's wonderful dear!" Mom beamed at Bella and me "Now, c'mon! We were waiting for you!"

After brunch, the guys and I went into the playroom while the ladies cleaned up. Jasper set up the pool table while Emmet and I fetched us some drinks from the mini bar.

"Rosalie and I decided to go for adoption." Emmet suddenly said.

"Really? That's great!" I told him wholeheartedly.

"It really is Em, are you looking through agencies yet?"

"No, but we decided we want a waiting child type of adoption."

"What's that?" Jasper asked.

"Apparently there are tons of types of adoption a waiting child adoption is when we adopt a kid from a foster care or an orphan."

"I thought Rosalie wanted a newborn." I said.

"Yes, but we talked to some parents who have tried both and they said a waiting child adoption is easier and faster. With newborns the biological mom's can always change their minds and it can take years for someone to pick you, and in the end it would be the same you know? We will be taking care of a kid, taking him as ours and we can't wait to be parents." He beamed. It was nice to see him truly happy again.

"I glad for you," I told him honestly "and good luck."

"Thanks ginger." He said and I rolled my eyes at him. "So what up between you and Bella? How are the ginger smurfs faring?" He teased and I flipped him off.

"_Andrew_ and _Marie_ are fine. Andrew did give us trouble last week."

"What did the little tornado do?" Jasper laughed, it was not secret Andrew was a handful.

"He punched a kid in the face."

"AWESOME!" Emmet boomed and I threw him a deathly stare.

"It's not funny Emmet, Bella and I got a call from the principal we had to go and pick him up. He was a mess, apparently violence is common on kids with separated parents."

"But isn't Andrew just three?"

"He'll be four in a couple of months, but age doesn't matter according to the school's counselor."

"I'm sorry Edward." Emmet apologized and I shrugged taking a sip from my beer.

We suddenly heard a high pitched voice.

"DAAAD!"

"Speaking of the devil." I said and Emmet and Jasper laughed.

"DAD!" Andrew yelled running into the game room "Look what auntie Alice got me!"

When he finally came into view I saw the reason of his excitement. He was wearing a camouflaged jumpsuit and helmet with Captain America's logo on it –which was one or two sizes too big on his tiny head- black combat boots and a pair of binoculars hanging from his neck.

"Hey! That's a cool outfit you have there." I said smiling at his joy.

"I KNOW! And look, I have minoculars too!" He said pointing at the miniature binoculars.

"It's binoculars kiddo."

"That's what I said."

I just shook my head.

"Did you say thanks to Auntie Alice?"

"Yes, Oh! I forgot! Nana wants you in kitchen now."

"Yes Captain" I saluted him mockingly and he laughed "I'll be right there, stay with uncle Em and Jasper. Don't get into too much trouble."

"YES, SIR!"

Fuck, he was already in military mode. I didn't know why I smelled destruction ahead. I just hoped he doesn't break mom's precious ceramic dwarfs.

I headed to the kitchen and as I neared I caught the familiar smell of butter and sugar. Mom was making cookies. I walked into the kitchen and smiled at the sight. Mom was at the counter mixing some things while Bella and Alice cut nuts on the kitchen island. I caught a glimpse of Rosalie at the sink doing the dishes. Keeping her distance I supposed.

"You needed me mom?" I said getting Bella's attention, she looked up from what she was doing and I winked at her, she blushed and returned to her work and chat with Alice.

She was so cute.

"Yes sweetie, could you please go to the basement and get the Christmas decorations out?"

"What? Mom, Halloween was two days ago."

"So?"

"We still have a month and a half before Christmas." Was she serious? "You always put the decorations after thanksgiving."

"Yes but now I have two grandkids who I want to spoil rotten with gifts and shit, so I want to get started with the decorations."

"Mom," I whined "You really want me to do that now?"

"Yes, c'mon… don't be lazy, your dad is in a phone call but Bella can help you."

Ok.

* * *

><p>"Shit, can't see anything." Bella said as we descended the stairs to the basement carefully.<p>

"Careful with the steps, here… hold my hand." I said and I felt her soft fingers slide down my arm until finding my hand.

The feel of her skin on mine was heavenly.

Once we reached the bottom I looked for the switch with my free hand and turned the light on. To say that the basement was big would be an understatement, the thing was half the first floor of the house and of course hundreds of boxes were stored here. I groaned at our task and Bella giggled next to me.

"C'mon, let's hurry. Did your mom mark the Christmas' boxes?"

"How the hell do I know?"

"Well, let's start then."

So Bella and I started opening box after box with fucking dust flying everywhere and getting into our eyes and nose. It didn't take long until we found my childhood boxes.

"Oh my god! Was this yours?" Bella asked holding up a little red superman cape.

"Yes." I laughed going to stand next to her and touched the piece of red fabric. Remembering how Andrew and I would play superheroes.

He used to be batman.

"Can I keep it for Andrew? I think he'll love it." She gushed with bright eyes and I laughed at her.

She was smiling again.

"Sure, cause that's what that kid needs. Another source of power." I joked.

"He's not that bad." She defended him swatting my arm playfully.

"He broke an older kid's nose." I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Ok, maybe a little. But he did apologized and felt bad afterwards."

"Yeah, he is too cute for his own good."

She chuckled and we returned to our task.

"By the way, there is a winter musical coming up at the kids' school. Marie gets to be Holy Mary and Andrew would be a sheep."

"A sheep?"

"Yes." She laughed out loud. "He is going to be a cute little sheep, he's not too happy about it."

"I can imagine."

Bella opened another box and took out and old trumpet, she turned to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Did you used to play the trumpet too? I thought it was piano and guitar only."

I smiled sadly at her.

"Those are my brother's boxes." By my tone she understood I wasn't talking about Emmet.

"Oh."

"It's Ok," I looked inside and grabbed one of his multiple old batman action figures "I was superman, he used to be batman." I told her.

"I'm sorry Edward, I didn't mean to pry."

"Don't be silly, I'm Ok."

…

…

"You miss him?"

"I'll always miss him, is just that it doesn't hurt as much as when I was fifteen." I put the action figure back and my eyes caught a book, I took it and opened it up. I smiled with what I saw, it was a photo album. Andrew loved photography, he spend his last year taking pictures of everything and anything with the new canon my parents had given him for Christmas, but I didn't know he had made an album.

I smiled at the first photo, it was one of me and Andrew. I remembered that day.

"_Hey Eddiboo! Smile!"_

_I winced at the sudden blindness from the flash._

"_Fuck Andrew! Stop that!" I yelled throwing him a cushion and went back to read my dad's thesis from med school._

"_C'mon Eddieinstein! Give me your best pose!" He joked._

_I flipped him off._

"_That's what I'm talking about!" He laughed and threw himself next to me on the couch. "You wanna go play ball later?"_

"_Sure." I said closing the book on my lap "Who's coming?"_

"_Emmepuss, Tyler, Richard, Ted and Garret."_

"_Are Tanya and Irina tagging along too?"_

"_Of course! We need hot cheerleaders."_

_I rolled my eyes at him_

"_Is Emma coming too?" I said knowingly and he instantly went on poker face mode._

_He shrugged but I smirked._

"_I don't know what you are talking about."_

"_Oh my dear dear naïve younger brother, you think I'm stupid? I've heard your not so subtle pep talk every day for the last month for asking her to spring dance."_

_He threw a cushion at me but I caught it before it hit me in the face._

"_Just ask her Andrew." I laughed "What's the worst that can happen?"_

"_She could say no and laugh in my face, I'm a freshman, she is a junior. Plus I asked Tanya yesterday."_

"_You asked your best friend?"_

"_Yes, she is a good sport. It'll be fun."_

"_Don't lead her on I think she has a crush on you."_

"_That's stupid, we are friends and she told me she was totally in love with Alex Woodward."_

"_If you say so." I said and went back to my book, not really interested in Tanya's love life._

"_Smile!" He said suddenly and stretched his arm upwards with the camera facing us._

_Snap._

"I didn't know you used to wear glasses." She said trying to ease the mood.

"How do you know that's me and not Andrew?" I smiled at her curiously, we were identical twins, people outside our inner circle had trouble distinguishing us.

"Your smirk… and you have a book in your lap." She said knowingly and I chuckled.

"I got laser surgery when I was 21."

I went to sit on the floor with the album in my lap and Bella sat next to me. Together we started going through the whole album. I stopped at a picture of Emmet, Andrew and I in tuxes. A sulking Alice in the background.

"Why was Alice crying?" Bella asked softly.

"It was spring dance, it was the first time Andrew and I would go as we were freshman and she wanted to come too but she was only ten." Bella smiled.

"Who did you go with?"

"Lucy Stephens, she was a sophomore."

"And Andrew?"

…

…

…

"He went with Tanya."

"Oh." Bella said softly and I looked at her intently as she continued to stare at the picture.

…

…

"Were they that close?" She said looking now at me

"Yes, but as far as I knew they were only friends… Andrew had a crush on a junior."

I turned the page to find pictures of our last vacation with Andrew, we had gone to Hawaii. It had been a disaster, I got food poisoning, Andrew sprained an ankle, Dad got bitten by a thousand mosquitoes, Emmet discovered he was allergic to lobster and Alice got skin burn. We had laughed so hard afterwards. I told Bella the story and she had laughed so hard she almost cried.

"Poor Esme, taking care of everyone."

"I know." I chuckled and kissed the top of her head. Bella reclined her head on my shoulder and linked her arm with mine as I turned page after page. Together going through Andrew's last year with us. She would ask me question about him and I would answer, she had always been curious… I was glad she was still like that as it felt good to talk about my brother for once. I had never done it with anyone else but her.

We were almost done with the album when I turned one of the last pages and both Bella and I stiffen when we caught Tanya's eyes staring directly at us. She was young, healthy and beautiful, nothing like the last time I saw her. The contrast hit me hard, what happened to her?

"She's pretty." Bella said quietly and I turned my head to kiss her temple, lingering there a second.

"But you have my heart." I said against her ear and closed the album firmly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"What brought this on? Why this change?" I said motioning between us with our joined hands. "You weren't this… carefree yesterday or last week."

"Rosalie."

I raised my eyebrows up in surprise.

"Yeah, I know." She grimaced "It took me by surprise too. I had an interesting talk with her, I still had my thoughts all jumbled when you walked into the house looking for me. When I went to find you I heard your talk with Marie and… it finally dawned on me."

"What dawned on you?"

She looked at our joined hands in my lap and furrowed her eyebrows for a second before answering.

"That… here you were, trying… fighting for us while I did nothing. I thought it was her who kept us apart but… something Rosalie said made me realize that I was also to blame."

"What did Rosalie say?"

She chuckled without humor, and I could see how she tried to keep her tears at bay.

"Basically that I was being stupid by letting an opportunity like this pass. She threw my own words –the ones I yelled at her that time we fought here- back at me."

"Well, then I'm glad I didn't rip her head off when I saw her on your porch." I tried to joke as I reclined my forehead against hers, we closed our eyes feeling each other's closeness. I brought my left hand up and cupped her neck, tracing the pad of my thumb on her jaw as I breathed her in.

When I opened my eyes again after few minutes of silence between us, everything had changed. The room had disappeared as well as the noise coming from upstairs. It was only me and her, she was staring at me… and I recognized that look.

Desire.

Please, let me kiss you. I begged with my eyes.

She closed her eyes, and I took that as my cue. Slowly, very slowly, taking my time and savoring the precious moment… I brushed my lips against hers, making her gasp a little. My heart beat increased with this new sense of euphoria that suddenly took me, my body ached for her. I slowly lowered my lips again and when I was about to really kiss her…

"EDWARD!" I heard my pixie sister call for me from a top the stairs to the basement. "Are you here?"

I quickly covered Bella's mouth with my hand, motioning her to be quiet. Fucking Alice, bad timing much?

Bella's eyes were twinkling but I could still see the remains of lust from our moment. I smirked at her.

"Bella?" Alice called again.

"Daddy?" I heard Marie's voice then.

Fuck. That I couldn't ignore, my little princess owned me.

Shit.

"Yes, we are here… we'll be up in a moment."

"Can we come down?" Alice asked then, and I wondered what she thought we were doing down here to ask that.

"Sure." Bella said back and I help her to stand up.

Alice and Marie slowly made their way down the stairs and as soon as Marie hit the bottom she motioned me to carry her which of course I did immediately giving her a peck on her cheek.

"This place's spooky." She said looking around.

"Did you find the Christmas decorations?"

"Not yet, there are tons of boxes and we were going through all of them."

"I can see that, oh! My old easy-bake-oven!" Alice gushed.

"Oh daddy! Those are the Christmas decorations!" Marie said pointing to a bunch of boxes on a big shelf.

"How do you know?" I asked skeptically.

"It says Christmas on them." She said in a duh tone.

Oh.

"Do you know how to spell Christmas? That's a hard word sweetie." Bella complimented her.

"I helped Miss Kelly color the posters for the musical and she teached me."

My heart filled with pride.

"Good job Marieinstein." Alice beamed "Now, let's take them upstairs so we can all have some of mom's cupcakes!"

"Didn't you have some already?" Bella asked and Alice's eyes went innocently wide.

I tried to hid my smile.

"Ehmm, just a couple… and well… they are vanilla and…"

"It's ok Alice, you all go upstairs" I said as I handed Marie to Bella "I'll be up in a minute."

"You don't need help?" Bella asked.

"No, it's ok. I got it, but thank you."

"Ok, see you upstairs." She gave me a shy smile before following Alice.

I made my way into the kitchen again, shaking the dust off from my jacket and hands. Bella, Alice and mom were talking animatedly about something on the breakfast table while Rosalie read a magazine on a bar stool at the kitchen island.

"I put the boxes in the living room, is that ok?" I said heading to the sink to wash my hands.

"That's perfect sweetie, thank you. Now come and have a cup of coffee with us. I was telling Bella about thanksgiving!"

"What about thanksgiving?" I asked.

"About our annual dinner, I want everyone to know my grandkids and Bella agreed to come too."

"That's great," I hadn't even thought about thanksgiving, this was really really great. My first thanksgiving with Bella and the kids. "but how many people are coming this year?" I asked after thinking it through "Marie doesn't like strangers." I said worriedly. I knew how she gets nervous about meeting new people.

"Oh don't worry, Bella and I already discussed that. We are keeping it small this year."

"Ok, as long as Ma-"

"DADDY!" Marie came crying into the kitchen and my heart stopped beating.

Bella was out of her chair in an instant as I kneeled on the floor and caught Marie in my arms.

"What's up sweetie? Are you Ok?" I asked as I quickly examined her face and arms for any injuries.

"Andrew, uncle Em and uncle Jasper don't let me play with them." She whimpered as she hid her face in my neck.

"Uncle Em WHAT?" Rosalie hissed as she stood from the barstool.

"They say I'm a girl." Marie told her.

"Oh, don't worry sweetie. I'll fix it." Rosalie said and headed to the playroom with all of us following, on the hallway we could all hear Andrew yell at the top of his lungs.

"FALL IN, NOW!"

"Yes Captain!" We heard Emmet and Jasper say in unison.

What the fuck?

"PORT ARMS, NOW!

"Yes Captain!"

As we neared the living room, we heard Andrew gasp at the sound of our steps.

"Oh! The evil is coming! The evil is coming! ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION!"

We heard a ruckus and then utter silence, when all of us reached the playroom we stopped in our tracks.

There was a gasp from someone near me.

…

…

…

What the hell happened here?

The pool table was flipped on its side and moved to the back corner of the room representing a fort with the couch cushions around it. The big couch had been moved to the other side of the room facing backwards, there was water everywhere and balls of wet toilet paper pasted on the walls. The coffee table had been removed too and now it made part of second fort, flipped on its side too against the wall. The rest of the cushions from the other couches were scattered through the whole room making it look like a tornado just passed here. The head of a dwarf next to a bucket of water caught my attention.

Fuck.

"What happened here?" Mom whispered, being the first utter a word in the deafening silence.

Suddenly Andrew popped his head from the side of the pool table aka fort number one.

"Hi nanna." He waved sweetly "You wanna play?"

"Whaa-aat happened here?" Mom asked, looking in disbelief around the room.

"This big spaceships came and… we fight them… and… please don't be mad." He said in a shy voice.

"EMMET JOSEPH CULLEN!" Mom suddenly yelled and I tried to stifle my laugh when a reprimanded Emmet stood up from behind the couch. He had his old sword on one hand and was wearing two black lines on his cheeks.

"Yes mom?"

"What did you do? What the hell happened here?"

Emmet threw a glance at Andrew who nodded not so discretely in encouragement and Emmet faced mom again. He puckered his lips.

"Sorry-mommy-I-love-you?"

…

…

…

Everyone in the room cracked up but mom, she still had a murderous stare at his oldest son and Andrew groaned as he face palmed himself.

"You forgot the eyes! A'ways remember the eyes!" Andrew yelled at him making us laugh even harder.

"For fuuudge sakes Emmet" Nice save mom "what are you? FIVE? You broke my dwarfs!"

"It was his idea!" Emmet said pointing at Andrew who gasped in disbelief. "He… he… HE POUTED!"

"Traitor." Andrew hissed "We were brothers!" He yelled lifting his tiny right fist in the air.

"Andrew, what were you thinking honey?" Bella said then, calmer from her laughing fit and sobering. "You broke nanna's dwarfs and made a mess, why did you do it? Say sorry now." Bella said sternly.

"But… but… The paper bombs were uncls Jasper idea!" He acused.

"HEY!" Jasper jumped from his hiding place next to Andrew.

He had a popcorn bowl on his head.

Had we entered the twilight zone or something? Was this really happening? My stomach hurt from laughing, Alice and Rosalie weren't any better. Alice even had tears.

"I don't care whose idea it was! Why didn't all of you go outside, you ruined the carpet and broke my… my ceramic dwarfs!"

Shit, mom was really mad. I immediately stop laughing, an angry Esme was scary.

"Andrew, apologize to nana." Bella said.

…

…

"Nanna… I'm shorry… it was my fault, I was bored and… and I wanted to use my new uniform… don't be mad at uncls Em and Jasper… it was my idea… I'm sorry." Andrew pouted, his chin quivering and eyes downcast. Then he looked back at us with puppy eyes and biting his lip. "I'm sorry nanna… won't do it again."

Oh, for the love of…

"Its ok baby, I'm not mad at you. Don't worry sweetie its ok, come here… don't cry. Just next time promise to go outside Ok?"

WHAT?

"Yes nanna, I'm shorry…" Andrew stretched his arms towards her and Mom cuddled him against her chest. "I love you nanna."

"Aww, I love you too sweetie… now, what about a cookie? I just got them out of the oven." Mom wriggled her eyebrows at him trying to make him laugh and relieve him from his distress.

"Thank you nana." Andrew said and reclined his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Esme," Bella started then "I'll clean it up. Andrew, what were you thinking honey?"

"Oh, Bella don't worry… he is just a kid, its ok don't even think about it." Mom calmed Bella's mortification and then turned to my brother and brother in law. "You, clean this up. Now." She spat at an open mouthed Emmet and Jasper. I was trying my damn hardest not to laugh when Mom turned around and Andrew smirked at them.

* * *

><p>All the adults were now in the living room, it was a little past four and Alice was retelling today's Andrew adventure to dad while Jasper and Emmet sulked going back and forth from the game room and the kitchen, still cleaning the mess. Bella had wanted to help but Mom didn't let her and when I had sobered and tried to admonish Andrew mom had yelled at me for berating my own kid.<p>

Andrew had her wrapped around his little finger.

It was easy to say that Andrew was having a blast.

"That kid is going to give you trouble." Alice had whisper-laughed at me.

"You think?" I said sarcastically.

Alice was still on her story when I caught a glimpse of Andrew and Marie entering quietly into the kitchen. After today's events I decided to go and check they weren't getting into any more trouble.

I went to move and Bella turned questioningly to me.

"I'll be right back." I whispered into her ear, squeezed her hand that had been in mine and stood up.

I made my way into the kitchen to catch Marie in front of the freezer and Andrew pulling a chair in front of it.

"What do you think you are doing?" I said and both of them yelped and turned to me.

"Busted!" Andrew face palmed himself.

"What are you doing with that chair?"

"We want ice cream daddy, but mommy said we can't have more."

"Mommy is right you two have had enough sweets for today. You are not going to be able to sleep tonight."

"But daddy, please!" Andrew whined.

"Mommy said no Andrew, and I thought you were grounded. Mommy clearly said no candy or treats for you."

"But-"

"No buts Andrew. Mommy and I say no."

"Daddy please! You can have some too." Marie begged "Please!"

"Honey…"

"C'mon daddy, just one tiny little scoop." She continued.

I sighed.

These kids are going to be the death of me.

"Ok." I gave in.

"YES!" They both cheered.

"Shhh!" I laughed and took the ice cream tub from the top shelf in the freezer, grabbed three spoons and told them to follow me. We quietly climbed the stairs and I led them to my old bedroom. Once inside we sat on my old bed and opened the tub. The three of us digging in.

"Chocolate ice cream is the best!" Andrew said as he shoved a mouthful on his mouth.

"Easy there, you don't want to stain your shirt or mommy will notice."

"Daddy, where are we?" Marie asked looking around.

"This used to be my room. You like it?"

"Yes, is pretty but why do you have two beds?"

"Oh-oh." I heard Andrew mutter and I turned in time to see a piece of ice cream falling from his spoon and staining his shirt. I rolled my eyes at him and turned back to answer Marie's question.

"Because that bed used to belong to Uncle Andrew."

"Oh, why did gr-"

"I thought I said no more ice cream." In a swift motion we all turned our heads to the door at the sound of Bella's voice. She looked amused so I knew we weren't really in too much trouble.

Marie gasped, Andrew looked afraid.

"I'm sorry mommy! I promise I won't do it again!" Andrew said immediately.

Bella walked in, took Andrew's spoon from his chubby hand and then tub from mine. She grabbed some ice cream and took it to her mouth.

"Hey!" Andrew complained scowling at her and Bella moaned.

"Mhmm… this is delicious no wonder you like it so much." She teased at him and I smiled at the twinkle in her eyes.

"Mommy! It's not fair, why can you have and me no?" Andrew argued crossing his arms in front of him.

Bella sat next to him on the bed.

"I'll give you a spoon but you'll have to pay for it."

"How much?"

"A kiss each spoon." She beamed at him and Andrew jumped to her lap.

"OK!" He cheered and Bella began to feed him and Marie giggled next to me sitting on my lap too. I smiled at the sight of Bella feeding ice cream to both of them, it made funny things to my heart.

"Daddy is that yours?" Marie asked pointing at something, I lifted my head to see my old guitar.

"Yes sweetie that was my first guitar." I explained.

"Would you play for us?" She requested and I almost choked on my ice cream. Bella patted my back and I sent her a thankful look.

"I haven't played in a while princess, I don't want to embarrass myself." I said nervously.

"Oh please daddy! I've never heard you play." She insisted.

"I haven't heard you in a while." Bella commented then and all air left me.

She wanted to hear me play?

I thought for a moment and then sat Marie next to me and headed for my guitar only to come back and sit a second later with it on my lap.

I start fiddling with it a little, tuning it and taking my time as my audience stared at me making me more nervous, but Bella had asked me to play… so I'd swallow my nerves up and do what she asked for. That girl owned me that much.

When the cords where decent enough I looked back at them.

"Any requests?"

"Whatever you want?" Bella said softly with her eyes on mine.

Ok.

I thought for a moment, and the perfect song came into mind. I just hopped I'll make it justice.

I squared my shoulders and took a deep breath.

And then… started playing the first notes.

"Oh her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining. Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her trying, she's so beautiful and I tell her every day."

Marie gasped and I winked at her.

"Yeah I know, I know when I compliment her she wont believe me. And it's so it's so sad to think she don't see what I see. But every time she asks me do I look okay I say…"

Andrew was beaming and Marie had this look on her face that put angels at shame. I didn't dare to look at Bella, fearing that my voice will fail me. So I just continued…

"When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change. Cause you're amazing just the way you are. And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while cause girl you're amazing… Just the way you are."

I kept singing, focusing on what I was doing… putting my heart into it until my fingers played the last note. When I finished I slowly lifted my gaze. Marie had tears on her cheeks, Andrew had a big smile on his face, chocolate included of course and Bella…

God.

My heart stopped at that much beauty.

She was hugging Andrew to dear life, her cheeks wet with fresh tears, her eyes… I knew those eyes… they were full of love, while a small shy smile played on her lips.

I wanted to lose myself in those eyes and never ever get away.

"Dad! That was awesome!" Andrew said excitedly.

"Thank you kiddo." I said, still locked on Bella's eyes.

"Can you play again?" Marie requested but then there was a sudden knock on the door. We turned to see mom standing there, her eyes red with unshed tears.

"Sorry for interrupting but, Marie, Andrew auntie Alice has a surprise for you."

"Oh! Cool!" Andrew said "Is it a tank?"

"I don't think so honey," mom chuckled "but why won't you come and see?"

"Ok!"

Andrew jumped out of the bed and Marie followed him, stopping by the door to give us a last glance. She smiled and went into the hallway, mom winked at me and closed the door after I gave her a grateful look.

Bella and I turned to stare at each other she had already cleared her tears.

"You Ok?" I asked as I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Yes, that was beautiful Edward… I can't belief you haven't played in a while." She said in awe.

I shrugged.

"I'm glad you liked it, I missed playing for you." I told her honestly. Actually I missed everything that had to do with her.

"I missed hearing you play too, and your singing. You have a wonderful voice." She said softly.

"I just miss everything we used to do together… is not the same without you." I said cupping her cheek and bringing her closer to me.

…

…

…

"You know what I miss more?" She asked.

"What." I breathed as her eyes captured mine.

"This." She said and pulled my lips towards her, capturing me in the deepest most passionate kiss we have ever shared.

* * *

><p><strong>So... who wants a Rosalie and Bella's outtake of their conversation?<strong>

**Please listen to the song and imagine E singing it to B surrounded by their little ginger smurfs! Cute don't you think?**

**I know this chapter was a little fluffy but I think E deserved a rest, and I think B is finally making progress...**

**PLEASEEEEE REVIEWWW! And I promise R and B outtake will be up within a week!**

**Check out the blog for B's brown dress and to meet OMC's cast and their little bios! tpec1991 . blogspot . com**

**I'll also post a teaser during the week!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	24. Chapter 24: I Look To You

**Hey there! Sorry about the slight delay but RL happened to my beta.**

**Anyway, here it is! A little more of fluff before getting back to business... Rosalie and Bella's outtake will be up sometime during the week.**

**Also, I added a little scene almost at the end, a conversation between E and B after receiving this from beta so any mistakes are my fault!**

**Thanks to my awesome beta Cattinson for betaing this even though I know her life is crazy right now! I love you girl!**

**THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO F*CKING MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS FROM LAST CHAPTER! I was truly overwhelmed, I'm soo glad you all enjoyed the family time, and soo happy you all laughed at Andrew, Emmet and Jasper's little adventure!**

**I don't always answer but I read each one of your reviews and even the smallest ones makes my day! They are the reason I keep writing this story, to know how much people are invested so emotionally in it. I HAVE THE GREATEST READERS!**

**Characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 24: I Look To You<p>

"I Look To You" – Boyce Avenue

As I lay me down

Heaven hear me now

I'm lost without a cause

After giving it my all

Winter storms have come

And darkened my sun

After all that I've been through

Who on earth can I turn to

I look to you

I look to you

After all my strength is gone

In you I can be strong

I look to you

I look to you

Yeah

And when melodies are gone

In you I hear a song

I look to you

Her lips are on mine, and it takes me a second to register what's happening.

She is kissing me.

And I don't hesitate to kiss her back.

I cup her cheeks with both of my hands -bringing her as close to me as possible- as her tiny fingers thread through my hair in that magical way only she can do. My heart is soaring, flying, beating frantically against my chest threatening to come out, as fire runs through my veins waking up senses when I take over.

I caress her cheeks with my thumbs while I marvel at their porcelain feeling, tears are falling down her cheeks and when a sob breaks within me I realize that I'm crying too. It's too much, all these feelings and emotions swirling through my head that I take a much needed breath and suddenly her scent is all around me, overwhelming, making me dizzy and euphoric at the same time.  
>I don't think she has a clue of how much she affects me.<br>God I loved her.

Her lips… sweet and soft but pressed firmly against mine are driving me crazy, they mold perfectly as if they were specially made for me, sending sparks and warmth through my body and all the way to my toes. I don't want this feeling of fulfillment and marvelous joy that leaves me brainless to ever end.

I slide my fingers down her neck and shoulders, placing my hand on her middle only to press her small frame tighter against my chest, she lets out a moan and I take advantage thrusting my tongue inside her mouth making her shiver in my arms. She pulls away to breathe, but I don't let her go… instead I kiss her tears away at which she lets out a small whimper.

I guess she was still as overwhelmed as I was.

"Bella… god…" I whispered in reverence as I place my forehead on hers closing my eyes and inhaling her sweet strawberry scent.

Was this really happening?

"I missed you… I'm sorry…" She says circling my neck with her arms "Please… please Edward, kiss me?" I opened my eyes to find her pleading ones.

"You don't have to ask." I say as I attack her mouth again, kissing the shit out of her, in need of more of her.

Our tongues dance together in perfect synchronization tasting and searching, lips sucking as I sit her on my lap. I could both hear and feel her heart beat on my chest as I hold her tight against me. I don't want to let her go, I can't let her go. This girl, this small, fragile and tender sweet girl is the world to me and I can't afford to lose her again. Just the thought made my insides shrink, I need her in my life… I don't know how I had made it so far without her.

_You almost didn't once._

I shook the negative thoughts away.

She pulls away to breathe again, and I immediately kiss her lids, her chin, nose, forehead, and cheeks… every part of her beautiful face that I can reach. I kiss her chastely on her lips once more and tuck her head in my neck down my chin, my arms firmly around her as I sway us lightly from side to side.

She lets out a long sigh and we keep quiet, holding each other in this wonderful incredible bittersweet moment… just, feeling each other.

"I'm tired… I'm exhausted of fighting you off, of keeping you away… I can't do it anymore..." She says a minute later once her breathing had calmed down, her arms clutching my middle as if she was afraid I'll disappear.

I kiss the top of her head.

"You won't get rid of me that easy, I'll always be here… I'm always waiting for you."

"Let's start over" She says leaning away to look into my eyes, but leaving her arms around me "You and me… leaving the past behind."  
>"Can you do that?" I ask skeptically.<p>

"For you, I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise." She vowed and I smile widely at her, which makes her smile too.

"Hi, I'm Edward Cullen, 29 years old, doctor, who loves music, hates dancing." I tease at her and she laughs out loud at my silly game.

I have missed that laugh, especially when her eyes sparkled like they were doing now.

"Hi, I'm Isabella Swan, 27 years old, book editor, who loves singing -even though I'm terrible at it- and hates wearing high heels." She said mimicking my tone.

I bit my lip trying not to laugh. I knew those things about her, specially the horrible singing part.

"Nice to meet you. Can I kiss you now?" I say playfully.

"You don't have to ask."

* * *

><p>Bella, the kids and I are saying goodbye to my parents when Bella remembers my old cape she wanted Andrew to have, which we left in the basement.<p>

"I'll go get it." I say as I kiss her temple making her blush. I wink at her and fly to the basement in search of the old dirty thing. Once there I start rummaging through the boxes when I finally find it. When I'm about to leave my eye catches something in the floor, it's Andrew's album.

I walk towards it, taking it from the floor when I see something falling from within the pages, I pick it up an examine it. It's an envelope, a letter I guess. I place it back at the end of the album where it must have been since Bella and I didn't see it while we were going through it earlier. I take a last look at the first page of the album and stare at mine and Andrew's picture, a small smile on my lips. I close it and hold it under my arm as I make my way upstairs. I'm on the hallway on my way to the foyer when I run into mom.

"Hey, sweetie… I was wondering what was taking you so long."

"Sorry, got distracted… hey, can I keep this?" I ask showing her the album and she smiles sadly at me.

"Of course honey, I'm sure he'll love for you to have that instead of it being forgotten in the basement."

"Thank you." I say as I kiss her cheek. "For this and… for earlier." I say referring to when she took the kids so Bella and I could have a moment.

And what a moment we had.

"Don't know what you are talking about." She says too innocently, but I see the light in her eyes. I chuckle at her.  
>She is happy for me.<p>

"I love you mom."

"I love you too kiddo. Now go, your family is waiting for you." As her words leave her lips, a tear escapes from her eye.

"Bye mom thanks again." I choke out.

* * *

><p>It's a little past 8 in the evening when I park on the driveway, the kids are already asleep in the back and I help Bella take them to bed. Once the kids are comfortable on their beds Bella walks me to the door were we linger for a few minutes.<p>

Hand in hand.

I know, what a sap.

"I had fun today." She says softly "Water-paper bombs aside." She adds with a face and I laugh.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, you think you could come again next weekend?"

"I'd love to."

"Can I see you tomorrow?"

"Depends… what do you have to offer?" She teases and I beam at her as her question reminds me of that first time she came to brunch with me, -when Emmett kidnaped her- and we came home afterwards and I asked her to stay.

"Tim Horton's? My treat." I say wriggling my eyebrows at her.

"Would I get an Apple Danish?" She asks teasingly.

"You can have ten of them if you want, as long as you say yes."

"Well, I really want an Apple Danish." She says as she steps closer and I bring my free hand up to cup her cheek. She brings her hand up and rests it atop mine.

"We have a date then?" I ask hopefully.

"We have a date." She nods and I bring her lips to mine, kissing her softly and then press my lips on her forehead where I linger for a moment or two. When I open my eyes I see the sun setting at the end of the street.

It's twilight.

Then saddest part of the day… when the sun disappears and the dark night begins but... there's the comfort that soon, the sun will rise and shine again.

"I love you." I tell her, my eyes still focused at the end of the street. She doesn't respond but I can tell she is struggling so I look down at her and place a finger on her chin making her look up at me.

"It's ok, I don't expect you to say it back… when you are ready." I tell her honestly ignoring the slight rip at my heart, but I know I have to be patient… we have come so far I can wait a little longer. "I just wanted to make sure you knew."

"I do know."

"Good." I smile at her and kiss her temple.

When I lift my gaze I spot a black Mercedes with tinted windows a couple blocks away across the street. Weird, haven't seen it before and a car like that should stand out.

"The neighbors got a new car?" I ask curiously.

"What?" She asks turning around. "Oh, I guess… fancy." She says turning back at me with a smile.

"Yeah, so… same place tomorrow? Tim Horton's on Richmond St.?"

"Sure, see you there at noon." She says as she stands on her toes giving me a last goodbye kiss, which I make sure its worth her while.

The engine of a car breaks our bubble and I look around to see the Mercedes take off.

* * *

><p>It's Wednesday in the late afternoon, I just discharged one of my patients and am checking my schedule to know how long I have till I can go home.<p>

"Fuck." I mutter under my breath, I still have two more patients to go. It's not that I don't want to attend my patients, far from it I love my job it's just that I have the biggest headache humankind has ever known. I already took a pill a couple of hours ago but it only tamed it, and what's worse… is that my whole body aches I can barely move. I know I don't have a cold as my nose is not running, my throat doesn't hurt nor do I have a cough, plus I did have my shot a couple weeks ago.

Besides, I'm a doctor. Doctors don't get sick.

And I want to see Bella and the kids tonight.

"Doctor Cullen, are you alright?"

"What's that?" I ask as I look up to find Heidi watching me closely.

"Are you alright? You seem kind of off." She says kindly.

"If I'm being honest, I think I'm coming down with something… but nothing serious don't worry about it." I say to her trying to smile.

"Are you sure? I can have Dr. Stanley taking your last appointments."

"I'm fine Heidi, don't worry about it."

"As you wish, let me know if you need something."

"Will do." I say sending her a thankful look.

I turn around to go into my office to take a nap on my couch as my next patient comes in about 30 minutes, but wish I had stayed where I was when I run into Lauren. She is outside my office, and by her posture I can tell she was waiting for me.

"What do you want?" I ask her, more rudely than necessary but I can't help it. I'm not in the mood to deal with her.

"Well, hello to you too." She says offended.

"Lauren, I don't feel good… if you don't need anything or Carlisle didn't send you then leave me alone. I need a nap."

"You know… I can make you feel really good... we could take a nap together." She winks at me.

Oh, for fuck sakes!

"Lauren, I thought I was clear to you. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh, c'mon Edward… Don't be such a prude you are a man you don't have to pretend around me. You are single and I won't tell anyone. When was the last time you had some? Huh? I know _she_ is not giving you any otherwise you wouldn't be so grumpy."

"First of all, I'm not single and even if I was I wouldn't be available to you or anyone else" except to her of course "Second of all I don't see why I have to discuss my sexual life with you."

She rolls her eyes at me.

"So what? You and her together now?"

"That's none of your business."

"It's just… I don't see the appeal, she is boring and average." She said making a face and it took everything in me to not punch her.  
>How dared she call her average?<p>

"Well, clearly you don't know her as much as I do, and I don't need you approval… we are certainly not friends, I don't even know you that well and our relationship is merely as co-workers. That's it, now if you excuse me I got to take my much needed nap."

I turn around and get into my office locking the door behind me.

Just in case.

I throw myself into my couch immediately dreaming of sparkling brown eyes.

* * *

><p>Around seven thirty I park in Bella's drive way, I open the door of my car and get out dragging my ass to the front porch, trying not to slip in the ice as its hailing like hell. From a window on the second floor I see Marie waving frantically at me. I try to smile back but I'm sure it came out more like a grimace. I reach the door and ring the doorbell, after a moment Bella opens the door but her smile fades when she sees my face.<p>

"Hi, are you Ok?" She asks as she lets me in and I take my coat off.

"Hi." I quickly look around her to see if Marie or Andrew are around, when I don't see them I tip down and peck her lips in greeting. She smiles but her cheeks still blush a little. "I'm ok, don't worry about it." I said trying to ease her worry.

"Are you sure?" She asks eyeing me "You are pale."

"Yeah, I'm ok. Where are the kids?" I say changing the subject.

"They are upstairs, I was saving the leftovers. We had fried fish ton-"

At the mention of fish I feel a pang on my stomach, which she notices and hurriedly points to the bathroom. I run to the bathroom at the end of the hallway and as soon as I open the door I throw up into the toilet.

Fuck, very attractive Edward.

As I continue to heave I hear Bella talking quietly to Andrew and Marie, telling them to go back upstairs.

"S'daddy Ok mommy?" I hear Andrew ask.

"Yes honey, c'mon lets go upstairs."

When I'm done, I flush the toilet and rinse my mouth with water. I hear Bella coming down the stairs and then there's a soft knock on the bathroom door. I open it to find Bella holding a new toothbrush and tooth paste to me. I send her a thankful look and proceed to brush my teeth. When I'm done I recline on the counter and she stands in front of me and touches my forehead.

"God Edward, you're so hot." She says aghast.

"Thanks." I say smirking weakly and she slaps me playfully on my chest but I notice her biting her lip trying to disguise her smile.  
>"I'm serious Edward, you have fever."<p>

"Yeah, I think I got food poisoning." She frowns.

"What did you have for dinner?"

"I haven't had any I always dine at my house after I visit you." She drops her hands at her sides and stares at me in disbelief.  
>I think she is angry.<p>

"What? Why didn't you tell me? We could have waited for you."

Yup, she is definitely angry.

"Well, I don't know… it never came up and…" Shit "I thought you wouldn't want me here that long." I admitted ruefully.  
>She rolls her eyes.<p>

"Silly boy." She mutters and opens the faucet, she lets water run through her hands for a minute and then cups my cheeks and I smile at the pleasant feeling of her cold hands on my face. "What did you have for lunch then?"

I wince at the memory, taking a breath to keep my stomach calm.

"Emmett and I met at this restaurant he wanted to try… I don't remember the name of it but I think it was a mix between Indian and Mexican food."

She makes a face.

"That's a weird combination." She says and I shrug.

"Well, Emmett is kind of weird."

"What did you have?" At her question I dart to the toilet again.

"Fuck." I hiss as images of fried fish and spiced vegetables come to my front mind.

When I'm done I brush my teeth again and groan as recline in the counter again. Exhaustion taking over my body, I hated being sick.

"I don't feel good I think I'd better go before it gets worse."

"Are you crazy?" She says a little too loudly making me snap my eyes open "You are not driving in this condition and in case you didn't notice there is a hailstorm going on right now, I was surprised when I saw your car pull up. I didn't think you were coming."

"Bella, it's just a few blocks… don't worry I'll be fine."

"Yes I worry, you are staying tonight… you can have my room and I'll sleep with Andrew."

"That won't be necessary, I can take the couch."

She glares at me.

"Ok." I said immediately, I knew that glare.

"C'mon." She tugs at my hand "You need to rest, I'd offer you dinner but I don't think that's a good idea right now."

I groan.

"Please… don't mention any food."

She giggles.

When we reach the second floor Marie comes barging out of her room.

"Daddy! You Ok?" She asks worriedly.

"I just have a little headache princess, don't worry about it."

"You wanna hug?" I smile at her and with great effort I slowly kneel on the floor so I won't become sick again. She gives me a hug and I instantly feel better, well not really as my stomach still hurts as if I had hundreds of tiny knives inside but you get the idea.

"Thank you sweetie. I feel better now."

"You staying tonight?" Andrew asks, he was standing next to Bella with Sam between them chewing on his pajama pants, I hadn't noticed him until he spoke.

"Yes baby."

"Can I sleep with you?" Marie asks, her eyes shining at this possibility but Bella speaks before I can answer her.

"Marie sweetie… daddy is sick, we should let him rest. Maybe next time honey."

Next time?

"Ok." She pouts making my heart swell. She was too cute.

"Now, say goodnight to daddy. You have school tomorrow."

"Goodnight daddy." They both say in unison and I kiss their heads.

"Goodnight sweeties, see you tomorrow. I love you."

When they are gone, my heart skips a beat as Bella takes my hand and leads me to her room. I'm still not used to her holding my hand, and every time she does my stomach flips but as we near her room, for some reason I get nervous, and my stomach is in knots but for a whole new reason now. I have never been in her room, I mean… I had when we got the house and when Alice was decorating it but it wasn't her room yet, her stuff wasn't there yet. Also the night of the storm the lights had been out so I didn't have a chance to see it properly and we weren't alone so that doesn't count either. Thus, when I cross the threshold her scent hits my nostrils in strong different waves of strawberry, honey and something else pure Bella.

I was in heaven.

Bella turns around and I can tell she is suddenly shy.

"Uhmm, wait here for a second." She gets into her walk-in closet closing the door behind her and I look around the room. Trying not to faint with the effort.

I'm glad to notice that some of her old traits are still part of her. The organized mess, the unfinished cup of tea at her nightstand sitting on top of a book, the piles of papers and manuscripts next to her laptop on her desk, the piles of books next to her recliner, a sweater on the back of her desk chair. Inside these doors she was still her, my messy pretty girl, it warmed my heart.

I go and sit on the recliner as my head is still hurting and my body aches so bad I couldn't stand anymore. I hear the door to the closet open slowly and Bella comes out wearing a baby blue tank top and cotton white shorts.

Very short cotton white short.

I swallowed thickly.

It has been more than four fucking long years.

She goes into her bathroom and I hear her fumbling around, opening and closing drawers as adjust my pants, sick or not I'm still a man and Bella is a woman. A very fine woman if you ask me. After what feels like an eternity she comes out holding a glass of water in one hand and two pills on the other.

"Here take this. It'll make you feel better."

"I thought I was the doctor." I try to smirk at her "What is it?" I ask as I tip the pill into my mouth and drank half of the glass of water.  
>"Just some Tylenol for the fever and your headache. You already threw up so I guess you'll be fine by tomorrow."<p>

"Thanks." I say as I rub my temples.

…

"So, do you need anything else?" I stare at her for a long time as an idea came to mind.

"You." I smile weakly "Stay with me please?"

"What?" She asks in amusement as her eyes go wide.

"Stay with me tonight, please… I don't want to be alone." I say in a strange voice.

"Damn it, I forgot you get whiny when you're sick."

I try to look offended… but I think she's right.

"I'm not whiny! I do feel very very bad, you should stay with me. What if I die and no one notices?" I tease at her she laughs and places her hands on her hips.

"First of all, it's only food poisoning and secondly the kids are next door."

"So?"

"So? What if they come in?"

"They'll just see mommy and daddy _asleep_." I raise a meaningful eyebrow at her on my last word, which of course makes her blush.

"I didn't mean it that way." She says.

"Which way?"

"The way that you think."

"What way do you think that I think?"

"The way that you think that I think that you think."

"Wha-"

"Oh stop it." She cuts me off and I chuckle.

I lift a weak arm and take her hand in mine, bringing her to sit on my lap. Once on my lap she lets go of my hand and touches my forehead and cheeks while I loosely circle her waist with my arms and close my eyes, relaxing at the feel of her palms in my face, enjoying her so close to me.

"You are still boiling." She says softly as she gives me a soft kiss on my forehead, right now I'm kind of enjoying being sick. It definitely has its benefits, especially when you have Bella massaging your temples.

"How's your head? Is your stomach better?" I can hear the worry in her voice.

"Better now that you are here." I murmur still with my eyes closed.

"Smooth talker."

I snicker.

"I'm serious, you really look pale… do you need anything else? Some juice perhaps?"

"I'm fine, thank you… just stay like this."

She kisses my clammy forehead again.

"Come on, let's go to bed. You need to sleep."

"You staying?" I say opening my eyes weakly, everything is blurry and it seemed as if the background was spinning, including her. She stares at me for a long moment before she lets out a sigh.

"Ok, I'll stay."

"Thank you pretty girl."

"Anytime sunshine." She says softly "C'mon, take off your shirt."

WHAT?

She laughs at my expression.

"Don't get so excited, you have fever… we need to cool you down."

"Oh." I say and we stand up walking to her bed.

I sit on the edge and she helps me out of my shirt. I shiver as her cold fingers brush over my sides and my breathing gets labored. When she pulls the garment from my head our eyes lock, her gaze flitting from my face to my chest before she swallows and looks away.

"Lay down." She says in a whisper.

I'll do what she says but first…

"Do you mind if I take off my pants? They are not really comfortable to sleep in."

"It's Ok." She says breathless as her eyes scan my chest quickly again. "Uhmm… I'll go and check on the kids, and make sure the doors are locked… I'll be back in a moment."

I nod and watch her stumble out of the room.

_I'm running…_

_I'm running as fast as I can, looking for something but I don't know what. I just know that I have to find it. My breathing is shallow, my heartbeat is going miles an hour, I can't breathe and I can't see anything, blinded by the powerful sunrays of an early hot summer day.  
>Tears blurs my range of vision.<em>

_I'm lost._

_I hear a voice and I try to follow it._

_"I'm here." She says, and I get more desperate at the need to find it._

_Whatever it is._

_I keep running on the deserted street, the sun burning my skin, my throat gets dry from the lack of oxygen and my muscles hurt from running so much. My legs want to give in, but I try to resist._

_"I'm here baby."_

_"Where are you?" I ask desperately._

_I see a silhouette at the end of the endless street waving at me. By now I can tell that I'm on my street but can't see my house as I turn around searching for it._

_Where is home?_

_"Pretty boy." The voice murmurs softly making me turn to the silhouette again._

_"Bella?" My heart beat goes wilder._

_I start running again, faster that before making it harder to breath. I feel something wet on my forehead and I welcome the cold feeling against my firing skin. Suddenly I came to an abrupt stop, looking down I see my feet deep in mud. I try to run again but it gets thicker and thicker until I can barely move, it has trapped me._

_I have to get out._

_It frightens me, because I have to keep looking, I need to keep going._

_"Edward?"_

_My heart stops when I lift my gaze and the silhouette is gone. I turn around looking, but see nothing.  
>"Bella!" I scream in fright.<em>

_"Easy… I'm here." She says reassuringly but I can't see her.  
>"Don't go." I plead.<em>

_"I'm here… open your eyes baby, I'm here."_

_Then everything fades to black._

I open my eyes only to close them again groaning at the sunlight coming through the window. I stretch on the mattress and turn on my side. I try to open my eyes again but slowly this time until they adjust, I take in my surroundings and a feeling of calm invades me when I realize where I am.

I turn around to her side of the bed but frown when I see it empty.

Wait, what time is it?

I sat up quickly and grimace when dizziness fills my mind. I rub my temples and reach for my watch on the nightstand and that's when I spot a glass of orange juice and a folded piece of paper with my name on it.

_**Had to take the kids to school.  
>Drink this and go back to bed, I called Heidi so<br>don't worry about going to the clinic today.  
>Hope you are feeling better, I'll be back soon.<br>-B.**_

I sighed but did as she told me and after a quick piss and brushing my teeth I throw myself on the bed and go back to sleep.

* * *

><p>The soft murmur of a keyboard and the scratching of a pencil wakes me up. I open my eyes to see Bella sitting next to me on the bed.<p>

She's furrowing her eyebrows looking intently at the screen of her laptop, going back and forth from what looks like a manuscript and the screen.

I take advantage of the situation and stare at her shamelessly as she hasn't realized that I'm up. She has an exquisite profile if you ask me, she has the perfect nose line, full lips and long eyelashes that almost touch her cheekbones every time she blinks. But there's something different about her, and as I'm still half asleep it takes me a second or two to realize what it is.

"You wear glasses now?" I say before I even realize that I spoke out loud.

She turns to me and smiles shyly.

"Uhmm… only for reading or when I'm on my laptop." She says as she closes said laptop and places it on her nightstand putting her glasses atop of it.

"How are you?" She asks with her eyebrows creased in concern.

I think about it before answering her.

"I'm better, at least I don't have a headache anymore." She touches my forehead with her hands.

"Your fever is gone. You should go back to sleep, you had a rough night."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you kept tossing around… the fever must have given you nightmares."

"Oh, I'm sorry… did I keep you up?" I said feeling a little worried and embarrassed if I was being honest.

"It's Ok, I was actually worried. I was afraid I had to take you to the hospital or call a doctor when you reached 104°… I put wet clothes on your forehead, that seemed to help." I sighed in relief.

"Thank you," I said holding her gaze "and I'm sorry for worrying you."

"Don't mention it" she said shaking her head. "I made you some chicken soup, you think you can have it now? You didn't have dinner last night and you threw up your latest lunch. You must be hungry."

I grimaced at the memory.

"What time is it?"

"Almost noon."

"I think I'll wait… come here." I said softly, tugging at her arm and she laid down, both of us turning to our sides facing each other. She lifted a hand and threaded her fingers through my hair caressing it slowly, I closed my eyes enjoying the sweet moment, humming and groaning while she continued spooning me.

I had missed her caresses.

"Aww, look at you… all baby like." She teased and I chuckled as I opened my eyes to find her smiling at me. "You need a haircut by the way."

"And you need to kiss me." I retorted.

She was right, I was whiny and needy when I was sick.

"I do now?" She said raising an eyebrow.

Is she playing with me?

"Yes, you definitely do." I said firmly.

"And if I refuse?"

I studied her for a second before launching myself at her, she squealed as I turned her on her back and I positioned myself atop of hers. She tried to fight me off but I grabbed her wrists pulling them over her head.

"JEEZ! When did you get so freakishly strong?" She laughed as I straddled her legs, leaning my face closer to hers and pampering her with kisses.

"You are so cute when you blush like that." I said nuzzling the side of her face.

"I'm not blushing! For yo-" She laughed but I silenced her with a kiss on her lips.

"Mmmhmm… and you taste divine if I may add." I whispered against her full lips. Her eyes shined as she looked up at me and I couldn't resist, I lowered my head and pressed my mouth against hers again, but this time I deepened the kiss which made the mood change drastically.

As one of my hands still held her wrists, my other started wandering slowly through her body. From cupping her cheek, down to her shoulder and her sides, until it came to rest on her left hip. My lips were insistent, searching and sucking until with a moan she opened her mouth to me.

"Edward…"

"I miss you." I said as my lips started kissing a little trail from her chin, up her jaw until I reached her temple and back, my dick hardening when I heard her small whimper.

I kissed her lips once more before I found the curve of her neck, it began innocent, just nibbling and nuzzling until her legs parted and I started giving her open mouthed kisses. I felt her heart beat increase against my chest, and heard her hot breath against my ear become labored. My right hand, which was still on her hip went down her bare thigh, -as she was still wearing those damn shorts- until I reached her knee and hitched her leg around me inciting a moan out if her. I freed her wrists, my hand going to the side of her face as my other hand brushed the sides of her left breast while sucked on her collarbone.

"God..." she breathed and I went back to kissing her delicious lips.

"Bella... so beautiful." I said huskily.

I palmed her breast with my right hand and gasping she opened her mouth in surprise. I thrust my tongue in and started kissing her passionately, with devotion, trying to show her without words how much she meant to me, how much I wanted, needed and desired her. I suddenly felt her fingers sneak through my hair pulling my face harder towards her in desperation, and the feeling was enough to send me over the edge. I pressed my hips firmly against hers, and our breath got caught in our throats at the feel of my erection pressed tightly on her hot core. My hand started massaging her breast, she moaned breaking our kiss and throwing her head back and I took the opportunity to attack her neck with open mouthed kisses.

"Edward... ughh..."

One of her hands traveled down on my bare chest, making me shiver at the contact of her warm hand on me. I started tugging at her shirt, but we were so into each other with our limbs intertwined, that it took more than it should to finally get rid of it. Once the offending garment was out of the way, I downed my lips to her chest where I began to suck and lick, the taste of her skin waking up all my senses and begging me for more. My mind was all over the place, my body ached for her, and I know this might be too soon but at the moment the only thing I could think about was burying myself in her, to get lost in her.

I moved the cup of her bra to the side and began licking her peaks, sucking on her nipples. I felt her hips move upwards and that only motivated me to continue with my ministrations, sp I sucked harder.

"Edward… oh god…" She gasped and I snicker.

"You like that baby?" I asked against her hardened nipple.

She whimpered.

I took that as a yes.

One of my hands traveled down her stomach until I reached the hem of her shorts. I grazed my finger where her pubic bone must be and I felt her squirm under me. I was about to sneak my hand under her shorts when I felt her go rigid.

"Edward… stop."

"What?" I asked dumbfounded, still too lost into her.

"Please… stop… I-I can't... it's too soon." She managed to say even though her breathing was still labored.

"Bella…" I pleaded lifting my face from her chest to look in her eyes, which were closed tightly. As if she was trying to calm herself down.

"Balla?" I said smoothing the creases between her eyebrows with my thumb and she opened her eyes to me. I could see the lust and guilt in them.

"I'm sorry… I just, I'm not ready. Please undertstand..."

I dropped my head on her right shoulder in defeat, she was right. We weren't ready, no matter how much we wanted it.

"It's alright baby," I said huskily shutting my eyes, trying to get myself back in check with my forehead still on her shoulder, willing my dick to calm down.

"Do you want me to give you some space?" She asked tentatively, trying to move from under me.

"No, stay still… just give me a minute." I said, not wanting to let her go.

After what felt like hours, I finally turned us to our sides, I opened my arms to her and Bella cuddled next to me.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to... to carry you on." She said caressing my face with the back of her fingers "But I think is for the best."

"It's alright, don't worry about me, you're right. We are not ready for that yet."

Her eyes softened.

"Thank you for understanding."

I kissed her lips chastely.

"Thank you for being honest, if _you_ are not ready… _we_ are not ready."

"You are amazing." She smiled at me and I chuckled pressing my lips on her forehead.

I snorted.

"That's only because I love you."

* * *

><p>"Are you done?" Bella asked me as I wiped my mouth with a napkin. We were still on her bed, she had insisted on bringing me lunch here even though I assured her I was fine now, but Bella being the stubborn lady she is convinced me stay on her bed.<p>

It didn't take much convincing on her part to be honest.

"Yeah, thank you. That was awesome."

"It's just soup." She said rolling her eyes as she removed the tray from my lap and placed it on her desk.

"Which is a hundred times better than the PBJ sandwich I would have made for myself if I wasn't here."

"You still can't cook for shit?" She asked in amusement and I laughed.

"Nope, I think I have become worse over the years." She laughed.

"Well, good thing I'm here now." She said as she sat on the edge of the bed next to me.

_I put my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I waited for Bella to answer me. Luckily she answered after the second ring._

_"What's up baby?"_

_"Hi, ehmm you remember when you called and told me you were running late and asked me to start with the rice for dinner?"_

_"Uhm… yeah? That was like twenty minutes ago, how could I forget?"_

_"Yeah, well big mistake. Big. Huge."_

_"Are you quoting pretty woman? Oh god, what happened? DID YOU BURN THE HOUSE?"_

_"NO! Nothing like that but… we ran out of rice."_

_"What? There was half a bag on the counter this morning."_

_"Yeah well… I kinda burned it... Uhmmm The whole thing."_

_"You used the whole bag?"_

_"Uhmm maybe?"_

_"Edward, where were you? I told you, one cup of rice, two cups of water!"_

_Shit she was mad._

_"Didn't you say two cups or rice and one cup of water?" I asked tentatively._

_"Oh god! You know Edward, I'm exhausted and I'm not in the mood… I'll just pick up something on my way home. GOD! No one can do anything around here anymore." She muttered the last part._

_"Jeez relax! It's only rice baby."_

_"It's not about the rice Edward! I asked you to do just one little thing, the wedding is in a week and I have a lot of stuff going on and you couldn't help me with dinner?" _

_..._

_..._

_..._

_"Sorry-baby-I-love-you?" I said feeling like shit, she was pretty upset with me and I kinda understand why she was so stressed but jeez! It only rice! But I didn't want to get into a fight with her so I tried to smooth things over._

_"Don't use that tone with me. It doesn't work over the phone anyway… I'll be home in twenty, is Chinese Ok?" She said calmer.  
>See? It did work over phone, but of course I wouldn't say that out loud.<em>

_"Whatever you want is fine, I'm really sorry baby. How was your day? Where are you?"_

_"God, it's been a long day. Alice and I just picked up the centre pieces. They are gorgeous Edward!" She gushed, bad mood gone "I can't wait for you to see them!"_

_"Can't wait either" I smiled at no one "Hurry home, I miss you pretty girl."_

_"Will do. I love you."_

_"Love you more Mrs. Cullen."_

"_Ok, you're forgiven."  
><em>

"What are you thinking?" Bella said bringing me back to the present and I smiled at her. Opening my arms I motioned her to lay with me, she snuggled against my side and I took her right hand in mine and kissed it softly before placing them over my chest.

"In the old days," I answered softly "right before the wedding, a lot of your behavior makes more sense now. I just wish I had been more perceptive." Her eyes dropped.

"Do you think everything would have gone different?" She asked without meeting my gaze.

"Well... it _would_ have been a whole lot different if I had known, but... I'm not sure how well things would have turned out for _us_."

...

...

...

"Are you still trying to... to get in contact with her?"

"Yes, but the nurse said that she is isolated."

"Can I ask why? I mean, from what Kate told you... you pretty much know what happened already." She said looking back at me.

"Is not about what happened anymore Bella, I wanna know _why_ she did it. I'm not stupid, if she really wanted _me_ she would have done something before... or she would have tried something again over the years but she just disappeared. Rehab or not she never came back. I mean... what was in it for her? I just need to know."

She seemed to think over my words and it dawned on me.

"You don't want me to get in touch with her." I stated.

She shrugged.

"Bella..."

"This isn't about me Edward... if you need to know her reasons behind her actions I'm no one to stop you. Of course I'll prefer if you don't go near that woman again but if you have to... to be at peace with yourself I'm not going to stop you. As for me... I don't care about her, I just wish I won't ever have to see her again. I want to close that door and never think about that day again, I want to move on."

...

...

"If it makes you feel better... I'll stop."

"I never said that, if you want your answers go and get them... it's only fair... you were a victim too Edward. As for me it doesn't matter what she has to say, I don't wanna hear her and I certainly don't want her near Andrew, Marie or me for that matter."

"That'll never happen." I said firmly "Tanya will _never _evengo within two miles around them or you if I can help it." Just the thought of it made my skin crawl in both anger and fear. That woman wasn't stable and I feared what she was capable of… she did tried to run over me once.

I felt Bella's hold on me get tighter, and I rubbed her back soothingly letting out a long sigh. I was at a loss of what to do, I wanted the truth but at the same time I didn't want to make Bella feel bad or to misinterpret my actions. And I did see her point, why to revive the past?

"Shit! It's almost two." Bella suddenly said.

"Pardon me?"

"It's almost two, I have to go and pick up the kids at school. You wanna come?"

"Of course, but… would it be alright if we stop at my house first? So I can at least wear a clean shirt?"

Bella pondered for a moment, thinking hard about something.

"I think I have something you can wear." She said and stood up from bed going into her closet, after a minute she came back holding some white fabric in her hands. She gave it to me and I hold it up.

My heart stopped.

"You kept it?" I asked in a daze… I couldn't believe this.

"Yeah… uhmm it helped me through the first months of the pregnancy, I didn't want to buy many maternity clothes, I thought it was a waste so…"

My eyes watered instantly… she wore this while pregnant? With our children?

Oh god.

I felt my throat go dry.

I hated being so sentimental over a shirt but… she had worn this shirt that morning… I remember her asking me for it the night before she left with Alice, so she could feel close to me while she got herself prepared for our day the next morning. I couldn't believe she had kept it all these years, even less that she wore it while pregnant. I felt joy and pain at the same time, feeling as if something of me had at least been there with her.

This was definitely my favorite shirt now.

I shut my eyes close and grabbed her waist sitting her on my lap, she wrapped her arms around my neck and I wrapped mine around her in a tight embrace as she held on to me for dear life.

"I'm sorry Edward." She sobbed against my neck and I shook my head leaning away so I could kiss her. I kissed her hard, giving her all of me.

I rested my fore head against hers as we both sniffed and held each other.

"Stop apologizing, we are moving on remember? You sais so yourself... we look forward… the past is the past."  
>She nodded.<p>

"I love you… no matter what I'll always love you… remember that." I told her with my lips almost touching hers.

"I will." She said before closing the distance between our lips.

* * *

><p><strong>AND LET THE ANGST BEGIN!<strong>

**Lol, sorry... I had to say it. PLEASE REVIEW! I'm dying to know what you guys think!**

**Awww poor Eddie was a little sick this chapter, but at least he got Bellanurse to take care of him ;)**

**I'll be posting a teaser sometime during the week on the blog and on twitter, don't forget to follow me! at tpecc1991**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	25. Chapter 25: The Only Exception

**Hi guys!**

**This is another loooong chapter, I hope you guys like it! It's very special to me =,)**

**Also, I just wanted to let you know that another reader FINALLY got the hint of what happened between T and B, she hasn't figured it out completely yet but she remembered something important Bella said on a earlier chapter, she send me a PM so don't bother go looking to the reviews. ;)**

**Thank you sooo much to my awesome Beta Cattinson for doing this for me even though I know life is crazy for her now. You are an angel!**

**I wanna dedicate this chapter to Lisopera, for pre-reading it and her wonderful advises and love for this story. I love you girl! You are the best!**

**And last but not least, thank you soooo much for everyone who reviewed last chapter! You guys are amazing! Thank you sooo much for the love and support you continue to have for this story! I know some of you still hate Bella or Edward for what they did, but if I had given you perfect characters, then Edward wouldn't have cheated, Bella wouldn't have ran away and there would be no story to tell ;) Plus, no one is perfect in real life, we all make mistakes as humans and deserve second chances... and that's what this story is about ;)**

**Here we go!**

**All characters belong to SM, I just like to make their lives a little harder ;)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 25: The Only Exception<p>

"**The Only Exception" – Paramore**

When I was younger  
>I saw my daddy cry<br>And cursed at the wind  
>He broke his own heart<br>And I watched  
>As he tried to reassemble it<p>

And my momma swore that  
>She would never let herself forget<br>And that was the day I promised  
>I'd never sing of love<br>If it does not exist

And I've always lived like this  
>Keeping a comfortable, distance<br>And up until now  
>I had sworn to myself that i was content<br>With loneliness

Cos none of it was ever worth the risk, but

You, are, the only exception  
>You, are, the only exception<br>You, are, the only exception  
>You, are, the only exception<p>

And I'm on my way to believing it.  
>Oh, And I'm on my way to believing it.<p>

Bella and I decided to walk to the kids school as it wasn't that far, also taking the opportunity to get Sam out of the house for a change. Because of the cold weather the poor guy hadn't had the chance to be out that much, the house was driving him crazy. So once Bella put his purple sweater on –which Marie had picked out for him- and leash, we put our coats on and started our walk to Montessori.

"He is getting bigger by the day." I noticed.

"Yes," Bella smiled "The vet said that in a month he'll reach his full height."

"How's Charlie by the way? You haven't mentioned him in a while." I asked, for some reason Sam made me think of him as Bella told me he was allergic to dogs.

"He's fine, I talked to him the other day… he says he wants to visit."

Damn, the last time we saw each other he had punched me in the face. I seriously didn't know what to expect now. Of course I understand his anger, if anyone hurt my Marie no matter how I'd lose my mind too. Of course I wished we could somehow get in good terms again but didn't know how to start. I haven't talked to him in years and his last image of me was the best one. Bella threaded her fingers through mine and squeezed my hand.

"You'll be fine, he doesn't hate you… he was worried about me."

"He told you what happened?"

"Yes, I'm sorry." She said with sympathetic eyes and I shrugged it off.

"I deserved it if I had been him I'd probably do the same."

We walked in silence for a few blocks until we reached the campus grounds. There was a huge crowd at the entrance of the school were a lot of parents waited for their children. I could see behind a tall fence a lot of kids from elementary –judging by their height- playing while they waited to be called. Once Bella and I reached the entrance of the kindergarten area, she showed her ID to a teacher that stood there with a list to block and supervise the release of the children. The teacher turned to the lady next to her and said Andrew and Marie's name and she took off in search of them.

As Bella and I waited for them, I rested my right hand on Bella's hip bringing her closer to me. Bella turned her face to me nervously.

"Edward… your hand." She said pointedly and looking the way the teacher had gone nervous, in case Marie and Andrew showed up but I ignored her.

"It's very comfortable thank you very much." She rolled her eyes and gave in with a sigh but I saw her biting her lip to disguise her smile. After a few minutes we saw the second teacher return holding Andrew and Marie's hand.

"DAD!" They both screamed when they caught sight of me and I waved at them.

"Have a good day Bella, Mr. Cullen." The second teacher said, who now I recognized as Miss Kelly, Marie and Andrew's teacher as she handed Bella the bag with Marie's oxygen tank which I took from her.

"You too Ana, see you tomorrow." Bella responded for both of us and I smiled at the kind woman.

"Daddy! What you doing here? You better now?" Marie asked and I picked her from the ground.

"I'm perfect sweetie, thank you." I said kissing her cheek.

"DAD! LOOK! I gots a star! I was good today!" Andrew said pointing to his forehead where a red star shaped sticker was.

"That's awesome kiddo! I'm very proud of you." I smiled widely at him.

"Me too!" Marie said pointing to hers.

"Congratulations to you too honey!" Bella gushed "We can add them to your collection on the fridge when we get home."

"Dr. Cullen?" We heard a voice say and we turned to see Mrs. Black with little Jacob next to her.

"Rachel? What a surprise, what brings you here?" I asked -even though I had an idea- as I put Marie back on the floor.

"I just enrolled Jacob here even though the semester is almost over they were able to take him in. He is starting next Monday." Rachel smiled at Jacob who nodded excitedly.

"That's awesome, are you excited Jacob?"

"Yes doctor." He said shyly hiding behind his mommy's leg. I chuckled and turned to Bella.

"Bella this is Rachel Black, Rachel this is Bella… Andrew and Marie's mother."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Cullen." Rachel said politely and I sighed, here comes that awkward moment I thought to myself but to my surprise Bella didn't even flinch, she just smiled back.

"It's Bella and the pleasure is all mine. Is this your son?" I discretely arched an eyebrow at Bella but she just winked at me. My heart fluttered at the small gesture.

"Yes," Rachel smiled "Jacob here is five, he's starting pre-school again right baby?" Jacob nodded excitedly again.

"Hi Jacob," Bella smiled at the boy with that sweet smile of hers. "You wanna meet some new friends?" Jacob nodded again with wide eyes, he was a quiet boy "This is Marie and Andrew, they'll be your classmates too."

"HI!" Andrew said loudly making little Jacob jump a little "I'm Andrew Charles Cullen" He said proudly with his chin up and stretching his hand out which Jacob took timidly. "This my sister Marie Esme Cullen."

"Hi, I'm Jake." Jacob said quietly, his eyes glued to Marie who hid behind my leg.

"Hi." Marie mumbled shyly.

"I'm older." Andrew piped in then making Marie roll her eyes and Bella, Rachel and I laughed.

"Aww what a cute little guy," Rachel chuckled "Well it was nice seeing you doctor but we gotta go, and I guess I'll see you around Bella."

"Yes, I hope so. It was nice meeting you." Bella answered.

"Have a great day, say bye Jake."

"Bye." Jacob waved smiling shyly at me.

"Goodbye little man." I waved back.

When they were out of earshot Bella turned to me and whispered.

"Is that the kid you told me about? The one with the tumor?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, we removed his tumor three months ago -right after I visited you in Ottawa for the second time- and dad just gave him the green light. I guess Rachel wants him to take it easy so that's why she enrolled him in preschool instead of kindergarten."

"Oh poor thing, is he gonna be ok?"

"Hopefully yes."

"Daddy! Can we take Sam to the park?" Andrew said tugging Sam's leash from Bella's hand.

"Do you have anything else to do?" I asked Bella.

"No, the park is fine."

* * *

><p>Bella and I sat on a bench as the kids played on the playground with other kids and Sam. The weather wasn't the best as we were in the middle of November but that didn't stop the kids from running around and having a good time. Bella and I sat on the swings, swaying back and forth slowly as we watched from a distance.<p>

"What do you think they're gonna be when they grow up?" Bella asked.

"Mmhmm that's a tough one."

"I think Marie will be a doctor, she cares too much for other people… maybe a pediatrician like her daddy." She smiled at me and I chuckled.

"I don't know… she is too sensitive for a doctor, but who knows? But I'm sure Andrew will be a business man he's smart, a leader by nature, charming and manipulative."

"Oh god, that kid is going to give us trouble when he reaches his teens." Bella said with mock dread making me laugh.

"What did you wanna be when you grow up?"

"Me?" She laughed "A ballerina."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my mom took me once to the ballet in Seattle –right before she left- and I fell in love with it. When I was eight my dad took me to a class but got stage fright and that was the end of it." She laughed "I loved to watch the other girls dance but whenever it was my turn I just froze. You know how I hate attention so… besides I'm not the most coordinated person in the world so I wouldn't have made it too far anyway, but still that was my dream as little girl."

"It's a beautiful dream."

"Yeah, I once took Marie and Andrew to watch a show of _Sleeping Beauty_ for kids in Ottawa… Andrew fell asleep but Marie loved it and asked me if she could take classes when she was older, I talked to Dr. Lawrence about it but he told me that with her condition it wasn't the best idea."

"She could but… there will be a risk." I said, my heart breaking a little at the reality and implications of Marie's condition.

"I know, and I wouldn't want to take that risk."

"Me neither."

…

…

My little princess, I wish there was something I could do but a transplant was an unnecessary risk which I fiercely wished we would never have to face.

"So, what did little Eddie wanted to be when he grow up." She said in a playful tone and I threw her a playful glare – she knew I hated that nickname- but either way I laughed out loud when she smirked back raising and eyebrow in challenge.

"A superhero of course." I said filling my chest with air in mock arrogance.

"Well, you are Andrew's hero so mission accomplished."

I chuckled shaking my head and looked at Andrew for a moment. He was trying to ride Sam but every time he sat on Sam's back he would run away and knock Andrew on his ass.

Then and idea came to my mind and I turned back to Bella.

"You know, the NBC is making this huge production of _Giselle_ to celebrate their 60th anniversary, it's supposed to be their greatest project so far. We could go if you want."

"Really? You wouldn't mind spend four hours on a cold theater watching a bunch of guys in tights?" I shook my head.

"I'll bring my sweater." I teased and she smiled back. "As for the guys in tights I guess I'd have to endure it." I thought of making a joke about the hot _ballerinas_ making it worthwhile but thought better of it, I didn't know if it was too soon for that kind of jokes considering our history.

"Thank you that would be lovely." She said her eyes full of excitement and I instantly felt a warm feeling spread over my chest at doing this for her, along with some excitement at the prospect of another date with her. We had met each other at Tim Horton's last Monday, but I couldn't wait to take her out on a real date.

After a moment of comfortable silence I finally got the courage to ask my next question.

"What show did you go to see with your mom?"

"Cinderella, I remember I made her buy me the Disney movie after that. That was the last time I went out with her too." She said the last in a softer tone and my stomach fell.

"I'm sorry Bella… I didn't mean to make you feel bad." I said wanting to slap myself but she shrugged.

"It's Ok, you didn't know."

…

…

…

I didn't know what else to say, we never talked about her mom. What did Renee do? Besides cheating and leaving Charlie obviously, I knew there was more to the story but I never asked for fear of upsetting her as I knew how much it affected her, I also never asked because back then I thought it would be like prying in on her life but… if Bella and I are supposed to share a life together, wouldn't I need to know everything about her? What makes her, _her_? I needed Bella to free herself from her demons. Not only for us but for her as well as I knew this part of her past is what keeps her from being completely happy and enjoying her life.

"Bella, I know…" I sighed, just going with it "I know your mom is a hard topic with you but, if you wanna talk I'm here… I know you still struggle with what happened, so if you need to vent I'm here to listen…" She looked down at her hands in her lap. "You can count on me, I've got you… I hope you know that."

I hoped she could see the honesty in my eyes, I hope she could see how much I cared for her and how I worried about anything concerning her. That I really wanted to know not because I was supposed to but also because I truly cared.

…

…

…

After what felt like centuries, she finally talked in a soft voice.

"She left because of me."

I thought she would say that, my pretty girl was quiet the martyr.

"Bella, I'm sure that's not it… I know most kids blame themselves all the time but-"

"No Edward…" She interrupted me "this is different, this time it _was_ because of me." She said looking directly at me.

"Why would you say that?" I asked frowning at her and she turn her head to stare at Marie and Andrew with a look I couldn't decipher but, surely it wasn't a happy one. Then with a heavy sigh she let her shoulders fall and rested her elbows on her knees as she pulled at her hair, struggling with what to say next, I supposed. I just gave her time, waiting patiently for when she was ready to talk.

…

…

…

"Renee was young and full of life and dreams when she got pregnant" she started, then "therefore she resented me for putting an end to those dreams, she was 22 when she had me… She said she didn't want me, that I was a mistake, and that I ruined her life." She confessed and my eyes went wide.

What?

"She told you this?" I asked aghast.

What kind of mother would say that to a kid? Especially a six year old little girl?

She sat straighter and twisted the swing to face me.

"No, well not to my face but the night she left I heard her. I was scared because there was a storm going on and I could hear yelling coming from the kitchen so I came out of my room. They always yelled at each other… but I knew something was different that night, even though I didn't quite understand what was going on. Then the next thing I knew, Renee was walking out of the house with a suitcase."

"What did you do?" I asked in a whisper and she grimaced.

"I went after her," Her voice started quivering "begging her to stay but she… she threw me against a bookshelf." She said trying to suppress a whimper and looking down.

I gasped.

"Oh, god Bella." I said with my heart breaking for her, I took her hand and traced my thumb over her knuckles. What kind of woman was Renee? She didn't deserve Bella.

Bella squeezed my hand and sniffed as she cleared a single tear with her left sleeve.

"So, that's what happened." She said looking at our joined hands "Renee got bored of me and the life my dad gave her so she decided to run away with the first male version of Lindsay Lohan she could find." She chuckled without humor.

And now… I understood why she felt the way she did when she found me with Tanya. Why she felt the need to run away. Why she left without listening to me, without looking for answers. She wasn't my Bella that morning, she had been that little girl whose mom had exchanged her for something, or _someone_ else. I understood why she felt like the history was repeating itself, even if I would never trade her for anything… I'm not stupid enough to not know how it must have looked to her. I had had sex with another woman, my ex-girlfriend, the outgoing and socialite party girl, a girl with a past like Bella's would obviously take it personally.

"Did you ever see her again?"

"No, well… I _think _I saw her once in Seattle when I was seventeen -I went there with Angela to do some research for a project- but I'm not sure, it was so fast one minute she was there at the stoplight about to cross the street and the next she wasn't."

My heart shattered to tiny pieces at the sound of her voice. She sounded so broken and lost, as if she was that six year old girl again.

"You wish you could see her again?" I asked tentatively and she shrugged and looked up to me.

"No, what's there to say? She didn't want me so she left, I don't need an explanation and I have nothing to say to her. It's not a wish of mine."

"True, but it wasn't your fault Bella… she didn't leave because of you, you didn't do anything wrong, she was immature and selfish. She wasn't ready to be a mom and didn't want to take responsibilities for her actions and grow up so she took it out on you."

"I know that _now_, but the little six year old me won't understand that. It's as if I were two persons, one part of me knows what she did was selfish but the other part still blames herself… I can't help it, her words are still engraved in my mind, and they still haunt me." She said with sad eyes and I knew she was doing the next to impossible trying not cry, probably because of the kids, but that didn't stop her voice from shaking.

"Did you ever talk about it with Charlie?"

"No, I didn't want to… I preferred to ignore that night, -that's why I never told you about it before- cause it hurt, I just knew that the person who was supposed to take care of you, the one person who's _biologically programmed_ to love you left because she couldn't stand you and the funny thing is, the same thing happened to me. I wasn't ready either when I had Andrew and Marie… I was 23 when I got pregnant, I'd just graduated from college and after what happened… I was alone and afraid… they were unexpected too but the second I knew I was pregnant I instantly loved them… with all my being and wouldn't even think about leaving them or… you know, getting _rid_ of them. Now, I look at them and know that I wouldn't have been able to function without them, they are my life." She said with her voice full of emotion.

I gave her a sad smile when she mentioned our kids. I tugged at her hand making her stand from the swing and made her sit in my lap, both of us swaying at a peaceful cadence. Every time she talked about how much she loved our kids it made my heart race, it had always amazed me the love a mother had for her children. As a pediatrician I see it almost every day, like when dad released Jacob and Rachel had cried her guts out in relief and joy, or how she never left his room at the hospital until he was out. It was amazing, and to see that kind of love on Bella for our kids… it was too much for me, especially after all she went through these past years, I could only imagine how hard it must have been for her.

"Yeah, our kids are perfect. What's not to love?" I said as she got comfortable in my lap and I circled my arms around her. "Thank you… for trusting me with your story, you have no idea how much it means to me. It also helps me to understand you a little more."

She smiled sadly and caressed my cheek with the back of her fingers, I turned my head to kiss them lightly and she rested her head on my shoulder.

"You're welcome, I'm glad I did… I feel better." She hummed.

I kissed the top of her head and started caressing her hair down her back, a shiver ran down her spine as she snuggled against my chest. We fell silent for a while, lost in our thoughts and listening to the wind blow through the trees and faraway laughs from children echoing in the background, watching leafs from different shades of orange and yellow dance on the field as the autumn came to an end. It was a beautiful but melancholy scenery, intensified by the heaviness of our conversation but bittersweet at the same time.

Even though I felt her pain and hated to see her so upset, I also felt lighter. As if a big weight had been thrown from my shoulders at finally hearing her story, because it meant that she trusted me enough to let me know about her past, to open up about her darkest night and to share it with me, that was one of the things I have been fighting for all this time. I had been fighting to win her trust back and now I felt as if I had it and it meant the world to me as it also meant we were moving forward. I closed my eyes and let the joyful feeling spread all over my body, enjoying the quiet moment I was having with her.

After a while, Bella moved a little on my lap pressing her face in my neck and I held onto her tighter, I felt her take in a deep sigh and then her hot breath on my neck as she let it out.

"You still smell the same… I like it."

"I still use the same cologne you gave me on Valentine's day."

She chuckled.

"You were offended because you thought I was saying you smelled bad." I felt her lips turn up in a smile and I laughed at the memory.

"I was teasing you know?"

"Sure you were." She said lifting her face to watch me. "But I wasn't talking about the cologne… you still smell like _you_. It's as if nothing has changed, do I make any sense?"

I thought for a moment about how every time I kissed her hair, this scent of strawberry shampoo and something else that was entirely _her_ would invade my psyche and how I welcomed it every time. I love it even though it drove me crazy and that was one of the things I have missed from her. Why I had left her clothes hanging in my closet for all these years even though they didn't smell like her anymore.

"You make perfect sense to me." I told her, she smiled and brought her hand to the side of my face, toying with the small strands of hair above my left ear. She used to do that all the time, especially when we cuddled together after making love. It was the perfect way to end our day and I would fall asleep under her caresses, satisfied and happy to have her in my life.

"Do you ever wonder where would we be if it weren't for them?"

"If you hadn't gotten pregnant?"

"Yeah, do you think we would be here? Or do you think we would have gone our separate ways?"

I pondered over her question, trying to answer as honest as possible.

"Well, I'd like to say yes to the first but I sincerely don't know. However, I do think we were meant for each other and everything happens for a reason. Maybe Andrew and Marie had to happen for us to find each other again… I'm not saying that they are the only reason why we are together now but I do believe they played an important factor for us to get here. If it weren't for them you wouldn't have had a reason to return and I wouldn't have found my strength back to fight for you… these four years without you were hell Bella and _they_ brought me back to life. The three of you are my _everything_."

She tilted her head to the side and studied my face with a small sad smile. I took a lock of her hair and placed it behind her ear, tracing the back of my fingers down her jaw until I cupped her neck and caressed her under her jaw with my thumb. She closed her eyes with a satisfied sigh.

"You do have a way with words." She complimented me opening her gorgeous eyes again.

"You bring out the best of me."

…

…

…

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." I teased lighting the mood a little and she slapped my chest playfully.

"If you could have anything in the world… what would it be?"

"You."

"Besides that." She rolled her eyes "If you had one wish, what could it be."

I frowned.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"I don't know… we were talking about dreams earlier and then you asked me if I wished to see my mom again so…"

"Anything?"

"Anything."

"I would like to see Andrew once again… I'd like to say goodbye to him." She placed her hand softly on my chest right over my heart.

"You would like to talk to him?" She looked at me sympathetically.

"Yes." I said hoarsely.

"What was the last thing told you him?"

"Fuck you."

"What?" She said alarmed and I laughed.

"We had raced to Dad's SUV, he won the window's seat and Emmet was already there so I got stuck in the middle between them. He was making fun of me and I answered back, we were goofing around."

"What happened then?"

"We agreed on a rematch once we got to Grandma's house, we fall asleep… the screech of the car woke us up and… then there was chaos and screaming, the last thing I remember was him grabbing my arm in fear right before he hit his head. Then I woke up in the hospital."

"You told me he died instantly." She stated softly.

"Yes, he… his head crashed against the widow… breaking it –I actually remember that part vividly- and because the SUV flipped he hit his head on the pavement too." She winced slightly, trying to control her expression. "At least he didn't suffer he must have knocked out when he hit the window."

"I'm sorry Edward."

"I'm Ok. It was a long time ago, I guess the reason why I don't think about him often is because I don't want to remember that day – much like you with your mom- it's too painful… he had his whole life ahead of him."

"What would you tell him, if you had him in front of you?"

A knot formed in my throat and I shut my eyes close. Suddenly years of bottling the pain for my brother's loss coming out to the surface, Bella sensed my breakdown and pulled my head to her left shoulder so the kids wouldn't see me even though they were several feet away and placed her hand on the nape of my neck, caressing me in a soothing manner.

"I'd tell him that I love him… and that I'm sorry for not thinking of him as often as I should… but that I still miss him." I said in a tight voice.

"It's Ok Edward… he knows… shh… there, there…" Bella soothed caressing my back now.

"It's just… sometimes I don't fucking understand why… why he had to leave. It's not fair he was fifteen for fuck sakes! It makes me mad." I choked out.

"I think we both agree life isn't always fair to everyone." She said leaning away to look into my eyes, the determination I saw in her watered eyes taking me off guard. They were shining in that beautiful shade of chocolate that I loved, drowning me in them "But, I've been thinking for a while about it, about all this injustice… and after all we've been through, all the pain, the misunderstandings, the anger and sorrow… you know what I think?" She asked as she cleared my tears with her thumbs.

I shook my head because that was the only thing I could do at the moment as lost as I was in her.

"We must learn to dance in the rain."

"What do you mean?" I heard myself say.

The lock I had placed behind her ear fell again as she looked down to think and I placed it back, she turned her head to kiss my hand like I did before and turned her eyes to me.

"I talked with Patricia."

Patricia?

"The counselor?" I asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I took her offer and paid her a visit on Tuesday… talking with her helped me to see things in perspective and I came to a conclusion."

"What's that?" I asked intrigued.

"Edward, it took an awful lot of time for me to accept this, but now I know that life is not a fairytale, is not going to be flowers and rainbows all the time… in fact… life is hard, life's a bitch. We'll never be able to control what happens around us but it's on _us_ if we are going to let it crush us or make the most of what we got. Only then…" She stopped for a moment and took my hand in hers, tracing her thumb over the scars on my knuckles "only then we will be really and truly happy, if we stop having _expectations_ on how's supposed to be and just enjoy what we've got now."

I was speechless, and she continued… tears falling down her cheeks but her voice was as steady as ever, sure and full of… _love_ and emotion.

"You lost your brother and I lost my mother… you learned to care for people and to not take everyone for granted, I know that because you have proved it to me since day one, since that day I ran into you at that coffee shop, with the way you look at me and the way you are with me… you are tender, careful, loving and worshiping…" Her voice started to break "and I, I learned to love Andrew and Marie unconditionally above everything and anyone. We lost each other once… but now here we are again… in spite of everything that had happened between us… and… _I love you_," She choked out and my heart stopped, my body stiffening "more than ever because now… now I know what's like to live without you."

"Bella?" I whimpered.

Yeah, very manly Cullen.

Where did she hide my balls?

"I love you sunshine, I never stopped loving you." She cried.

"Say it again." I urged bringing her forehead against mine, not believing what my ears were hearing. I needed to hear her say it again.

"I love you pretty boy."

She loves me.

"Again, I need to hear you." I said still insecure.

"I love you I never stopped thinking about you… I lied before when I said I never thought about us… because you were always there. Stuck, buried deep to the core of my heart, when I asked you what you wished for and you said me and I ignored your answer because there's nothing to wish for… I am already yours."

She loves me.

"Oh, Bella." I sobbed right before I crushed my lips with hers.

My pretty girl, she loves me… SHE LOVES ME! I couldn't describe the wave of emotions swirling within me. The joy, the utter joy at finally hearing those three words coming from her lips was like nothing I've ever experienced before. Not when we kissed for the first time at my mother's gallery, not when she accepted to marry me, not even when she said she would give me a chance… this, this was happiness. After all this time, all this consuming pain and waiting… wondering if she'll ever take me back… she loves me.

For the first time in my life, I could say I was utterly happy without a doubt.

She loves me.

The world disappeared as we lost ourselves in our kiss, it was amazing how this simple act could render me useless and fuck my mind over especially after her revelation. I could only think about her, about how her lips felt like the softest silk on mine, how her scent invaded my lungs making me high and how her body felt wrapped around mine, warm and perfect, just perfect.

She loves me.

"Mommy and daddy sitting in a tree… key yay yey yey way and gee!" Andrew's singing voice brought us back to reality and Bella and I froze for a moment before bursting out laughing.

We were in the middle of a playground and Bella was still on my lap for fuck sakes. I noticed an older woman on a bench a few feet away giving us a stinky eye while shaking his head but I couldn't fucking care less.

She loves me!

When Bella and I calmed out of our laughing fit, we looked down to see two beautiful red cheek angels staring at us with the most beautiful smiles that even real angels would trade their souls for. Andrew's eyes were sparkling and Marie was jumping up and down in excitement.

"What's that baby?" Bella asked in a tinkling laugh.

"You and daddy were kissing." Andrew whisper as if revealing a big secret. "Lots and lots!"

"And is that a good or a bad thing?" Bella played along and I pressed my lips behind her head trying to hide my huge fucking goofy smile. Her strawberry shampoo didn't help much to control my joy, if only it intensified it.

"GOOD! Very very good thing!" He cheered.

"Mmhmm so if kissing is a good thing… then you wouldn't be opposed if_ I_ give _you_ a little smooch would you?"

Andrew's eyes went wide for a second before he took off running like a bat out of hell and Bella chased after him. I laughed out loud when Andrew tripped with Sam's leash and Bella caught him and started kissing him all over his face as Andrew complained.

"Ewwww! Mommy no! Me no like it when you kiss me like that! Yuck!" Andrew said as he attempted to wipe his cheeks. "You are a girl! Girls have cooties!"

"But you are so chubby and yummy!" Bella said in that mommy's voice that I loved so much.

"Me not chubby!"

Still laughing at their little banter I turned to Marie but frowned when I saw her face, she was staring at me with wide eyes, her lower lip and chin quivering.

"Princess, are you all right?" I asked instantly worried.

She nodded.

"What's wrong?"

As soon as the words left my mouth, Marie threw herself at me and I caught her in my arms, holding her against my chest as she hid her face on my neck. When I felt something wet slid over my neck I realized she was crying and then it downed on me.

She got emotional at the sight of me and Bella together.

"Oh baby, it's going to be Ok." I cooed patting her back soothingly.

And for once, I had no doubt about it.

She loves me.

* * *

><p>Bella, the kids, Sam and I strolled our way back home, the four of us holding hands with the kids in the middle of course. We reached the house just in time for dinner, and Bella sent the kids upstairs while I attempted to help her in the kitchen.<p>

Once the kids were upstairs she had ask me to help her by cutting the vegetables in tiny pieces, and now was laughing at how long it was taking me to chop _one_ carrot.

"We are kind of hopping to have dinner by tonight you know?" She teased as she pulled some steak from the fridge.

"I'm a well-known surgeon I'm supposed to slice things up nicely." I retorted as I frowned at the carrot in front of me. The bitch kept slipping from my fingers.

"It's just a carrot," she said taking the knife from me and shopping the entire thing in seconds "It doesn't have to be perfect, just make sure they are small enough for Marie and Andrew."

"Whatever you say Anna Olson."

"Hardy-har, c'mon hurry. Andrew was grumpy on our way back that means he's starving and probably munching on his secret candy stash under his bed."

I laughed out loud.

"He has a secret candy stash?" I asked amused and Bella chuckled.

"Yes, he thinks I don't notice when he throws things into the cart at the supermarket." She said while preparing the steaks.

"Why don't you say anything to him?" I said resuming to my previous task.

She shrugged.

"I take some of his stuff away when he is not looking and leave some. He is a kid, its ok for him to have treat once in a while and I wouldn't like to ruin his fun at tricking me. I used to do the same with Charlie."

"You? Deceiving a cop? I'd have loved to see that." I said chuckling.

"Hey, I can be a bad girl you know? I'm a cop's daughter after all I know everything that has to be known."

"Oh, believe me I know how bad you can be." I winked at her and she blushed at the innuendo. She was about to say something but my phone rang. I threw her and apologetic glance and looked at the screen on my phone and frowned at the caller ID.

"Jessica?" I answered skeptically. We never talked so she must be calling for mom.

"Hi Edward, sorry to bother you but your mom asked to call you to confirm Saturday night."

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked thoroughly confused.

"The benefit gala? The one Esme helps to organize every year?"

Oh shit, I forgot. The last time I went was four years ago so it obviously slipped my mind. I remember mom mentioning it on brunch but I was trying to feed Andrew – an impossible task if you ask me- so didn't really listened to her. Mom must have assumed that as everything was different now that I would go this year.

"It's _this_ Saturday?"

"Yeah, she says she told you _last _Sunday… you forgot?" Jessica chuckled.

"Maybe… so at what time is this thing?" I said groaning on the inside, I hated high etiquette events at least this one was for a good cause. Each year mom along with other women from her inner circle –Carmen being one of them by the way – organized this big benefit gala for a different cause each year. I knew the dinner ticket alone was around 500 dollars and there was also an auction so they raised good money which was good, but I hated dressing up and have meaningless talk with people I barely knew. Then, a brilliant idea came to mind.

"It's at seven at The Ritz, should I put you on the list?"

"Yeah, but could you add a plus one at my name please?" A soon as I said this Bella's head turned to me.

"Oh yeah?" Jessica said knowingly "So, who's the lucky lady I'm adding on the list? We are talking about a lady right?"

I ignored her last words.

"Isabella Swan… and make sure she is at our table."

The year Bella and I had been together Bella hadn't been able to go because of some paper she had to do. But now I didn't see a reason why she couldn't come, so I took the opportunity to spend a lovely night away from everything and relax without the kids for once with her. I loved spending time with them obviously but I figured Bella and I needed time for us too.

"You are kidding!" Jessica squealed leaving me deaf for a second. "I heard she was back but O-M-G! Are you guys together again? This is awesome!"

"Goodbye Jessica, tell mom I'll call her latter." I said, not wanting to share my private life with my mom's assistant.

"Bu-"

I hung up.

"So," I said turning back to Bella "There's this gala going on, on Saturday, you wanna be my date?"

"I don't think I have much of a choice…" she said amused "What was that?"

"Sorry… was I being too presumptuous?" I winced feeling like an idiot she probably had work to do or wouldn't want to go at all.

She chuckled before I could get too preoccupied.

"No, but… what about Marie and Andrew, we can't leave them alone and I'm sure it's not an event for children."

"I told you once Mrs. Cope's daughter could watch them if you ever needed it. It's just one night Bella and I think we really need it, c'mon… everybody will be there."

"Where is it?"

"It's at The Ritz."

"The Ritz? I have nothing to wear for The Ritz." She said with wide eyes.

"I'm sure Alice will be more than willing to help you in that department… C'mon Bella, please?" I said resourcing to my last weapon.

The pout.

I know Andrew and Alice… even Mom are masters at it but _I_ invented that shit.

"Ugh!" She threw a dish towel at me and I laughed pulling her towards me between my legs as I sat on a barstool. "You and that kid of yours upstairs are going to be the death of me."

"Is that a yes?" I beamed at her.

"Do I have to wear heels?" She said making a face and I shrugged.

"It's a black tie event but, if you want to you can be like that famous vampire girl and wear chucks under your dress."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I wouldn't go to such extremes but it's nice to have the option anyway."

"So, will you be my date?" I asked hopefully.

"I'd love to be your date." She whispered against my lips and I beamed at her.

"I love you."

"Good… because I love you too." She said as she closed the distance between us.

* * *

><p>I'm staring at my reflection in the mirror. Its 5 o'clock on Saturday and I have to pickup Bella in an hour for the Gala. I look at myself, trying to find differences from the man I am now and the man I was almost four months ago. On the outside, I look the same but on the inside I feel totally different.<p>

Four months ago I thought my life had ended when she walked away, I had nothing to live for, my life had been empty and grey. I never talked to anyone and kept to myself, drowning in my own misery and wasting my life. I couldn't believe that had been just four months ago, it seemed like ages had passed since I found out the truth. Since I found her again and now… here I am. Feeling like a teenager on his first date, nervous as fuck but so excited I couldn't stay still.

When Bella had said those three words to me on Thursday… I feared my heart would fail me from overexertion. To finally hear those words after so long made everything worthwhile. All the pain I had been through these past months to win her back was worthwhile just because of that.

I know some people might think I'm being a pussy, that I should be the one mad after what she did, that she should be the one asking for forgiveness, that I'm being too passive and lacking backbone for forgiving her so easily and not yelling or being mad at her for keeping my children from me, but I just can't. Of course I was mad at first, of course I yelled at her that day at the park, of course I tried to hate her.

But… if you truly love someone, their mistakes don't matter, what they were or how deep they hurt you would never change your feelings towards them, because it's the mind that gets angry, but the heart still feels what it feels. And in my case my feelings for Bella overruled anything my mind had to say.

Rosalie asked how I could forgive her so easily, how I could make it look so simple… well, I love Bella more than myself and that included my pride. I lived without her long enough to learn the significance of her in my life, so when I got my second chance I took it. I didn't want to waste time fighting, I knew what I wanted.

Besides, even though we are almost sure Tanya drugged me… I still slept with someone else even if I didn't want to, I betrayed her confidence the second I trusted Tanya of all people with that drink. So I consider myself lucky, because by keeping her pregnancy a secret doesn't make right what I did, I still hold myself a little responsible for what happened even if she doesn't blame me anymore.

When she told me she loved, after the excitement and incredulity had passed… I felt this wave of peace run through my veins. A peace I hadn't felt in a long time… a peace that told me that for once everything was going to be alright. A peace that made me sure of myself and that took away my fears at screwing up again because it also made me feel stronger, it made _us_ stronger and now we knew that no matter what was ahead of us we were going to face it together.

She loves me too.

I wasn't alone in this anymore.

With this new realization, I started to get myself ready for the Gala. Alice had dropped my tuxedo this morning, she said it was Gucci but to me it looked like any other tuxedo I had seen before. Black pants, black jacket, white shirt and black bowtie. Simple, but I had to recognize I did look fancy. After a long shower to calm my nerves for tonight, I had clean-shaven, attempted to comb my hair and dressed up. And now was still trying to calm my nerves. I know it was stupid, this was Bella and me but it was also our first time out, with family and friends back as a couple and I wanted everything to go perfect. I wanted her to have a great time, to relax and see the people she hadn't seen in years, I wanted for one night not to worry about the future or the past.

Dancing in the rain she had said.

Living the now.

After spraying cologne, I was ready as I'll ever be. I turned off the lights, took the little black box, grabbed my coat and headed out of the house.

I was met at the door by Melanie, Mrs. Cope's daughter. She was young, older than Jane but she couldn't more than twenty.

"Good evening Mr. Cullen." She greeted me with a smile as she stepped aside so I could step in "Miss Swan is not ready yet but told me to ask you to wait for her in the living room."

"Thank you Melanie, did Bella already explain you how the security alarm works? Do you have our phones' numbers?" I asked as I took off my coat and I headed into the living room.

"Yes Mr. Cullen, Miss Swan already explained me what to do if-"

"Daddy!" I heard two high pitched voices and smiled before I even saw them.

"Hi there!" I greeted them as they rounded the corner and entered the living room.

"Daddy! Mommy looks like a princess! You have to see her!" Marie gushed excitedly while clutching my old teddy bear I gave her that time at the airport, when they left after Rosalie's outburst. They were both already in their pajamas, –even though Marie was wearing a plastic princess' crown- but far too excited for sleeping anytime soon.

"I can't wait princess." I smiled at her "but what about me? How do I look?" I said pointing at my tux.

"Like a penguin." Andrew chuckled and I laughed out loud.

"That's not true!" Marie said aghast "you look very very handsome daddy, like a prince!"

"Thank you sweetheart."

"You taking mommy to a ball?" Marie asked with sparkling eyes and my heart warmed at her enthusiasm. "Auntie Alice says so."

"Something like that honey."

"You got mommy flowers?" She asked seriously, as if it was of mayor importance.

"Uhm no, but I got her something else?"

"Don't forget flowers next time daddy, flowers are very important." She said seriously and it took everything in me not to laugh.

"Ok princess, I won't forget flowers next time." I said seriously and she nodded.

"Daddy can we go too?" Andrew asked then "We'll be good, I prwomise."

"I'm sorry kiddo, but it's not an event for kids."

"Me not a kid! I'mma big soldier!"

"Sorry kiddo, you still can't go." I laughed "You are still too young."

"But daddy, I'll be good! I prwomise!"

"Mmm, how many times have I heard that before." Bella's sudden voice made me look up.

Oh god.

I thought I was going to have a heart attack… as I've never seen such a thing. Such a vision as the one I was having right in front of me. My heart picked up, and the nervousness that had dissipated on the ride here returned. My knees went weak, my breathing got caught in my throat and my hands got clammy.

In a deep navy blue gown, that hugged every curve of her long torso until her waist, where the skirt flowed freely, with an opening that showed her left endless leg an angel, like I've never seen before stood in all its glory.

She looked stunning.

"Daddy?"

Her hair was up in a elegant loose chignon with some lose strands on the side of her face and her make-up was light –as she didn't need much- but very flattering, just some eye liner, mascara and shadows bringing out the depth of her chocolate eye color.

Her skin shined like a fine white pearl, smooth and delicate. I wanted to reach out and touch her to make sure she was real. She was too good to be real… she had a shy smile playing on her lips, lips that my lips begged to kiss. She was so beautiful and sexy my pants suddenly felt a little tight.

"Daddy!" I jumped at Marie and Andrew's voices and Melanie chuckled.

"See? I told you! Doesn't mommy look like a princess?"

"You were right," I said with my eyes still on Bella, I never wanted to take my eyes off her "She does look like a princess."

Marie beamed at me and Bella blushed that gorgeous shade of pink that I loved.

"Thank you." She said and then turned to Melanie "You have everything you need?"

"Yes Miss Swan, I have everything I need."

After Bella said goodbye to the kids about ten times, repeated instructions to Melanie three times and made sure she had our phone numbers another four, we were able to go. But just as I was helping Bella with her coat, Marie came running into the foyer.

"Mommy, you forgot this!" She said giving Bella her plastic princess crown "You can have it." Bella smiled a watery smile and kneeled down so Marie could place it on her head.

"Thank you sweetie, I knew something was missing." She said winking at her and Marie smiled.

"I love you mommy, you're the prettiest." Marie said in a soft voice.

Bella brought Marie to her chest giving her a tight hug.

"After you baby, after you." She kissed Marie's head "and I love you too."

I opened the car door for Bella and she hurriedly got inside to get out of the cold. I hurriedly rounded the car and got in the driver's seat. As soon as I closed the door I turned around taking Bella by surprise and pulled her towards me, giving her a good long kiss.

"I've wanted to do that the moment you entered the living room…" I said as we parted for air "You look amazing Bella…"

"Thank you…" She said still out of breath, but something in her voice wasn't right.

"You Ok?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes… It's just… I just have never left them alone." She said looking back at house for a moment "Jane would take them to the park once in a while but I've never left them alone for the night."

"They'll be alright, don't worry about them. It's a safe neighborhood, the security alarm is on and Melanie has our phone numbers in case of an emergency." I said trying to ease her worries.

"I know, but I can't help but worry." She said frowning.

"Bella, please… I want this night to be just about us. They will be fine… please try to relax and enjoy our evening." She thought for a moment and then took a long breath.

"I'm being silly aren't I?"

"Just a tiny bit." I quipped and she placed a hand on the side of my face, the worry still on her eyes.

"I'm sorry it's just that I have this feeling… I don't know."

"Bella, they will be fine." I said placing my hand over the one she had on my cheek "Melanie is capable of taking care of them for a few ours." I said kissing her again, I couldn't get enough of her.

"Ok, I'm sorry. You are right." She said as we broke apart shaking her head out bad thoughts. I took her hand from my cheek and kissed her knuckles. After placing our joined hands over my lap, I turned the car on. As I pulled the car from the drive way I saw her taking the crown off of her head and placed it on the dashboard and I smirked.

"What? It doesn't go with your dress?"

"I'm afraid not." She chuckled.

"You do look beautiful by the way. That dress looks amazing on you."

"You are not so bad yourself. I've never seen you in a tuxedo before, you look very dashing… and you even tried to comb your hair." She teased the last in a sing song voice and I made a face.

"Yeah, I don't think I succeed in that department." She shrugged.

"I like it better that way anyway." She said squeezing my hand.

"_Bella stop it, it's pointless I told you."_

"_I can't believe it, it's as if it has life of its own." She said stubbornly adding another handful of gel to my head and I grimaced at the feeling._

_It was two days before Christmas the roads were closed due to the heavy snowstorm so Bella and I were spending another lazy Sunday in my bed. She was bored so I suggested a few things we could do but of course she didn't listen to me. I seriously don't fucking know how we ended up like this but I was currently sitting on the floor Indian style while Bella sat on the bed at my back, trying to comb my hair. I told her it was pointless but she was one stubborn little woman and was up for the challenge._

_I sighed._

"_I can't believe I'm letting you do this." I groaned for the umpteenth time._

"_I don't understand, why can't it just stay put?" She said ignoring me for the umpteenth time._

"_Don't know." I shrugged._

"_I give up" she said with a heavy sigh throwing her arms in the air "you hair has a mind of its own. It's pointless."_

_I looked up at her and smirked._

"_Told ya."_

"_Wipe that smug smile off your face." She laughed "You are lucky I love your sex hair anyway." She said leaning down to kiss my forehead._

"_Sex hair?" I laughed incredulous._

"_Yes, sex hair." She said with a firm nod "your messy, sexy, crazy sex hair. I love it."_

"_You are weird." I smiled at her._

"_But you love me."_

"_Mmmm maybe a little." She smacked my head playfully making me laugh more and I brought my hand up to the spot, but froze when my fingers came across with something stiff and sticky._

"_Ughh Bella! It's going to take me years to get this off."_

"_Mmhmm should we take a shower? I'm sure I can help you __**get **__it__** off**__ if you want." She said kissing my neck and massaging my scalp._

_I stood up abruptly, threw her over my shoulder and ran into our ensuite bathroom with a squealing Bella on my back._

We arrived at The Ritz about half an hour later, the valet took my car and Bella and I ascended the stairs to the luxurious hotel. Once in the lobby an employee took our coats and Bella and I made our way to the ballroom hand in hand, but right before we entered I stopped her and turned her to me. She glanced at me with a curious look and I smiled at her.

"I have something for you." I told her and retrieved the black box from my pocket and gave it her.

"What is this?" She asked nervously.

"Open it up and see." She stared at it and after a moment, she opened the small box and gasped at what she saw.

"Oh my god Edward, it's beautiful." She said as she looked in wonder at the white gold bracelet that rested inside the box. I took the box from her hands and detached the thin chain from its holder.

"May I?" I said gesturing to her wrist and she nervously held up her left hand to me. I locked the white gold chain around her wrist and watched it for a minute glisten with the light from the chandeliers against her pale skin, the heart shaped yellow rock sending small rainbows everywhere along with the tiny diamonds around it.

"Edward, you shouldn't have… it's too much." She said eyeing the stone warily and I knew she must be worrying about the price. "It must have cost you a fortune."

"It's my money and I do whatever I want with it." I said pointedly before she could return it. "And I wanted to give you something special… please don't make a big deal out of it."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, stood on her toes and kissed my lips softly.

"It wasn't necessary, but I do love it so thank you." She whispered against my lips.

"That's better," I said kissing her back "Because I love you… and I want to show it to you."

"I love you too," She said kissing me again, I was enjoying this "But, you don't need to buy me jewelry to show me… you can promise me a dance instead." She said smiling knowingly, she knew I hated dancing and I groaned in response inciting a giggle out of her.

"C'mon pretty boy… let's find our table." She said taking my hand and pulling me towards the ballroom where I could hear the murmur of hundreds of guests waiting for the event to start.

* * *

><p><strong>Awww... Bella finally said those three little words!<strong>

**Bella and Edward's outfits are on my blog! Go and check them out! ( just remove the spaces) www . tpec 1991 . blogspot . com**

**I know I promised Rosalies outtake but I had been very busy lately, and it was that outtake or a new chapter... I thought you'd prefer the second option ;) I'm still working on it, and I also I'll be doing and outtake for Edward's suicide attempt.**

**PLEASEEEE REVIEW! This was a long one, and a very special one to me! Please let me know what you think!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	26. Chapter 26: What Makes You Beautiful

**Hey guys! I'll keep it short cause I have the worst hangover ever and I'm sure you've been waiting long enough for an update! Thankfully this another long chapter ;)!**

**Thank you sooo much to Lisopera for pre-reading this chapter! You comments and advises really help me through this chapter and the last ones. You are the best!**

**Thanks to my beautiful beta Cattinson por betaing this chapter as I know her life is crazy now! Thank you thank you!**

**And last but not least, your responses to the last chapter brought tears to my eyes! You guys have no idea how much they mean to me, especially when you mention how much my writing has improved as you know sometimes I struggle to find the right words as English is not my first language... so thank you =')**

**This is the song E&B dance to on this chapter, I highly recommend you to listen to it! Just remove the spaces!**

**www . youtube watch? v =K0czg_TQAcA**

**Here we go!**

**SM owns everything!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 26: What Makes You Beautiful<p>

"**What Makes You Beautiful" – Boyce Avenue**

You're insecure, don't know what for  
>You're turning heads when you walk through the door<p>

Don't need make up, to cover up  
>Being the way that you are is enough<p>

Everyone else in the room can see it  
>Everyone else but you<p>

Baby you light up my world like nobody else  
>The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed<p>

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell  
>You don't know oh oh<br>You don't know you're beautiful

That's what makes you beautiful

Bella and I walked with her hand around my elbow on my folded arm into the grand ballroom, it was amazing. Mom and her friends did a great job with the decorations this year. Big chandeliers hung from the tall ceilings, beautiful tables with red patterned tablecloths and gold runners where placed around the dance floor, each table had different objects such as bird cages, candles, vases and flowers as centre pieces but in the same shades of red, gold, burgundy, mahogany and other dark colours according to the season. People were dressed in their finest and waiters were coming and going in every direction with trays of champagne and treats while people waited for dinner. In the middle of the room was the dance floor, next to it a small stage where a band played a soft melody while people mingled and greeted each other.

"Wow, it's beautiful." Bella said in awe looking around the room.

"Yes, they outdid themselves this year." I agreed.

"How many people are coming?"

"Well, she sent out around 200 invitations… add a plus one's to at least half of them, I think there will be around 300 people in here soon."

"Wow… what's the cause this year?" She said looking at me.

"Kids with leukaemia."

"Oh, that's very thoughtful."

We hadn't been in the room a whole minute when Alice spotted us and ran as fast as she could with her big round belly. Jasper was right on her heels, carefully carrying a tray of canapés.

"Bella!" Alice cheered as she wrapped her in an awkward tight hug as her belly got in between them. "Oh my god you look amazing!" She said when she finally released her "Who's your stylist? I might give her a call." She winked making Bella laugh and blush at the same time.

"Thank you Alice, you look amazing too." Bella complimented and Alice frowned.

"Are you sure? Don't I look like little doughboy?" She said in concern pointing to her white dress.

Jasper sighed heavily.

"Baby, I've told you a thou-"

"You stay out of this." Alice hissed at him before grabbing a canapé from the tray Jasper was holding, popping it into her mouth and turn back to Bella. I was doing my best not to laugh at Jasper's chastised face.

Apparently I wasn't the only whipped one.

"You look fantastic." Bella assured her. "I swear."

"Bella's right pixie, motherhood suits you... and hello to you too." I said kissing her cheek in greeting.

"Great!" Alice beamed ignoring me, she was too excited about having Bella here tonight and I couldn't blame her "Now come with me," She said taking Bella away from me, I threw her a glare but she just stuck her tongue out at me. "Some people are dying to see you!"

She dragged Bella across the room with Jasper and I quickly tagging along, following like the love sick fools we were. I tried to snatch a canapé from Jasper's tray, but before I could take it he hurriedly moved it away.

"You don't want to wake the beast." He said quietly pointing with his chin at Alice "She has them counted, she'll have my head if one is missing."

I laughed.

"I take it she already had your balls as an entree?" I teased.

"Look who's talking? Where have you been this week?"

I'm sure there was a big goofy smile playing on my face right now.

"I figured." He chuckled taking my expression as an answer. "That's great man, but I should warn you though… the whole Denali clan is here."

I stopped on my tracks, my body became rigid and my breath got stuck in my throat.

"What do you mean by the whole Denali clan?" I said in a shaky voice, still not taking a breath and Jasper turned to me with a confused expression before his face became clear in understanding.

"Oh sorry," He said sheepishly "I meant _almost_ the whole Denali clan."

I let out a sigh of relief and felt like fainting.

Fuck.

I need a drink.

If Tanya had been here I would have seriously shit myself. Bella and I were finally getting along, we had come so far now... hell, she had just admitted that she loved me two days ago and I didn't want her presence to ruin what I had worked so hard to achieve, I didn't want her to ruin this new bond Bella and I had developed. She finally said she loved me but I wasn't stupid enough to not know that we still had a long way to go and that we weren't ready to face something like this yet. We are still new and we still have tons of things to share with each other. It was as if we were starting from scratch.

Besides, I had other worries. I didn't want her to go near Bella, not only because I knew that Tanya's presence would hurt her and bring awful memories back to her but also because I didn't trust that woman. I didn't want her near Bella and especially my kids, ever. Sober or not, Tanya only meant evil.

"Fuck dude, you went pale." Jasper brought my focus back.

"You scared me, that is the last thing I need." I said taking two flutes of champagne from a waiter. "Tanya showing her fucking skanky ass here." I said with venom.

I know I'm not a violent person, far from it but I couldn't even imagine the lengths I'll go to to keep my family safe and I knew Tanya was capable of a lot of things. She tried to run me over once, I didn't want to risk and encounter between Bella and her and set her crazy mind off. Of course I could always get a restraining order if I happen to know she is in town but what good could come out of that? It's not as if a piece of paper could protect them.

"It's Ok, if she was coming which I doubt – her mom has her vanished from any social event- Esme wouldn't permit it, or at least she would have told you beforehand. Besides, she's in Vancouver right?"

"I know, but you still never know with that woman…" A shiver ran through my body. "So, who's here?"

"Carmen and Eleazar of course, Kate with some dude I don't know and Irina with Laurent. They arrived from Quebec last night and are staying until after Thanksgiving next week."

"Good." I said, not sure about how Bella will react to Tanya's family. She met Kate through Alice and had been friends but not too close. As for Irina they never really got the chance to become friends as Irina lived in Quebec but they had been nice towards each other that few times they met.

We reached the small group of people where Bella and Alice stood along with some people Bella knew from Alice. Jessica being one of them and I recognized some of Alice's clients and friends from college and thankfully Bella seemed at ease with them. I handed Bella her drink and she smiled at me in thanks as she took my hand and I winked at her.

"You need anything else?" I whispered against her ear and I saw small goose bumps spread over her neck and shoulder were my breath touched her skin.

"I'm perfect, thank you." She said in a strange voice.

"You sure?" I asked meeting her eyes and caressed her bare upper back with my hand in comfort. I knew she pretty much knew no one at this gala and I didn't want Alice to overwhelm her with so many new and old faces or for her to feel out of place.

She nodded and nestled herself down my arm, her shoulder under my armpit and I gave her a soft kiss on her temple.

"Cheers." I said clinking her glass with mine.

"Cheers." She smiled before taking a sip.

Suddenly I felt someone pat my shoulder in a friendly way.

"Tyler!" I said in surprise as I caught sight of my good old high school friend, from my peripheral vision I spotted a blonde next to him.

I didn't expect to see him tonight it hadn't even crossed my mind. It has been ages since the last time I saw him. I think it was at Jasper and Alice's wedding a little more than two years ago. It was so good to see my old friend after all this time.

"What's up man?" He greeted me with a broad smile as he gave me one of those manly hugs "Long time no see, where the fuck have you been?"

"Yeah, I know… uhmm I've been busy lately." I said as we parted.

I know, lame excuse.

"I can tell…" he said looking at Bella and I saw the surprise in his eyes "It's nice to see you too again Bella, how are you?" He smiled politely at her.

"Hi Tyler, it's nice to see you too. I've been good thank you very much." Bella said lightly and I placed my hand on her waist, bringing her even closer to me. It was nice to finally be able to casually touch her or hold her after all this time I couldn't get enough of it. I wanted to take in every moment with her.

"I'm glad, this is Gianna." He said introducing his date. "Gianna this is Edward and Bella, very good old friends of mine."

"Hello, nice to meet you." Gianna said in a strong accent.

"Hi, nice to meet you too" Bella smiled "Where are you from?"

"I'm from Lyon, but I've been living in Toronto for a year now because of my job."

"Nice, how have you liked the city so far?" I asked then.

"It's lovely." Gianna said stealing a quick glance at Tyler.

"EDDIEBOO!" A loud voice boomed then and the four of us turned to watch Emmet and Rosalie made their way towards us. "Well, well, well finally someone came out of his rabbit hole." Emmet said giving me a manly hug before lifting me from the floor and twirling us around.

Fucker.

"Fuck Emmet! Put me down!" I said as I struggled out of Emmet's embrace and I heard Bella, Alice and Gianna giggle at my silly brother.

"Aww! But I've missed my little brother so much! Bella's been monopolizing you too much lately, you need to learn to share woman!" He said nudging playfully at Bella, she blushed and I laughed wrapping an arm around her waist again.

She could monopolize me as much as she wanted.

"That's what I was sayin'!" Tyler said laughing "We should definitely do something next week... a guy's night out. It has been a long time since the four of us have all hung out together!"

Aaaaaand awkward moment.

The last time we had all hung out together was at my last minute bachelor party.

Luckily Rosalie was quick and saved us all from the stressful moment.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie…" She said to Gianna "and this asshole date of yours with no manners is my cousin." She said playfully nudging Tyler with her elbow. "And this is my husband Emmet." She said taking Emmet's hand.

I felt Bella unconsciously press herself closer to me and I responded by kissing her temple in reassurance.

It's Ok pretty girl.

We are Ok.

"Hello, I'm Gianna."

"Nice to meet you." Emmet said shaking her hand unfazed by what just happened "and Bella! Where are the little Edwardians tonight?" Emmet asked then and Bella chuckled. "I was kind of hopping they would come too, see what kind of trouble Andrew would get himself in tonight."

"They stayed home with Mrs. Cope daughter." She answered with a giggle that went straight to my chest. I loved to see her smile and laugh, but when she giggled it was the best.

"Is she an ex-servicewoman? Ginger smurf number one can be a force of nature you know? I'm talking from experience here." He stated in mock seriousness and Bella, Alice and Jasper –who had joined our group by now- and I laughed wholeheartedly, no doubting all of us remembering last Sunday.

"You should meet Andrew," Emmet continued looking at Tyler and Gianna "he's crazy as fuck but you can't help but fall for the little guy. I think he's got my fun genes instead of Edward's. Thank god for that!"

I rolled my eyes at him and Bella covered her mouth to disguise her laugh. I poked her rib in protest making her laugh harder.

I'll never tire of hearing her laugh.

"Who's Andrew?" Gianna asked then.

"Oh, Edward and I have twins a boy and girl." Bella smiled at her with that lovely mommy smile of hers and Gianna made an awed face. "Andrew and Marie are their names."

"And they literally are little clones of Edward, its crazy. Red heads and green eyed, they're soooo cute!" Alice added happily and I felt my chest fill with pride.

My kids are fucking perfect.

"Wow, we should definitely get together soon." Tyler said with wide eyes, and then it occurred to me that he mustn't have known about my kids. I don't think he even knew Bella was back until tonight let alone that we were back together "This night is sure full of surprises." He said subtly watching my hand on Bella's waist.

"Sure it is, but why don't we girls go and take a drink and let the guys' catch up for a bit. Talk about whatever guys talk about?" Rosalie suggested.

"Oh yes! And I need to use the ladies room, Bella why don't you come with me and then we join Rose and Gianna at the bar?" Alice asked but there was something in her eyes that let me know she had other intentions than just using the ladies room. I'm sure Alice wanted to bombard Bella with tons of questions about us and probably to take opportunity and spend time alone with her, Alice missed her friend so much.

"Sure Alice." Bella said "We'll be right back." She took my hand from her waist, gave it a little squeeze before letting it go and with that the girls were gone.

"You're a dad?" Tyler asked still incredulous as soon as they were out of earshot "When did this happened?"

I let out a long sigh, I knew this was coming. As much as I was happy to see him again I didn't feel like re-telling the past months to him.

"It's a long story… in resume Bella was pregnant when she left and… I found out a few months ago."

"Whoa whoa! What? Dude, you didn't know? She didn't tell you?" He asked still with wide eyes.

"It's not how it looks, a lot of stuff happened in between" I said not wanting to discuss Bella's dimorphic disorder or Bella's trauma about her past with Tyler. "But we are trying to solve our problems now… for our kids and us."

"Wow, I'm sorry... it's just that... wait, hold on a sec. She kept your kids from you and... you forgave her? Just like that?" He said incredulous.

I suppressed a groan.

"Tyler, sorry man but what I did or didn't do it's none of your business." I said trying to keep my mood alight.

"Oh, yeah... sorry man, it's just that... fuck this is huge! Are you together now?" He asked still in shock.

"Yes." I couldn't help but smile.

"Officially? Since when?" Jasper asked then.

"Since Thursday I think… we took the kids to the park and had a long talk."

"About time! So, are you done mopping now?" Emmett teased before taking a long drink from his flute.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yes, I'm done mopping."

"Awesome! Now, about that get together Tyler was talking about…" Emmett said, thankfully changing the topic and I felt relieved "the Leafs are playing Tuesday night against the Canucks. It's too late for tickets but we can watch the game at my place." Emmett offered.

"Sounds like a plan." Tyler said immediately, he was a huge Hockey fan since we were in high school and was loyal to his precious Leafs. "But it's not late for tickets man, I have that covered. Got season tickets when I got Dwyer signed with the Leafs." He said proudly and Emmet's jaw hit the floor.

"You have season tickets! Why didn't you fucking tell me! Dude, I thought we were friends!"

"Sorry," Tyler flinched "I had a few compromises, but saved the best games for you guys don't worry."

After some fifteen more minutes of bantering I excused myself to go to the bathroom but in reality, I went in search of Bella. She had been far too long away from me and my hands were itching to hold hers again. Besides, Emmet and Tyler had gotten themselves into a serious conversation about some hockey players I couldn't care less about. I scanned the room with my eyes until I saw her talking with my parents and Alice.

"Oh, here he is!" Mom beamed at me as she saw me approach and everyone turned to me. "I'm so glad you and Bella joined us. You look so handsome sweetie." She gushed and I smiled at her clear happiness.

"Thanks Mom, you look beautiful as always." I said kissing her cheek and shook dad's hand "Hey dad."

"Hello Son, Bella here was telling us all about Andrew and Marie's winter musical."

"Oh Edward! We can't wait to see it!" Alice beamed.

"Oh yes, Andrew is so excited about it." I said sarcastically.

"Aww, he is going to be the cutest sheep ever." Mom said fondly.

"Yeah, I still would have given him the Devil part." I said and that earned me a smack on the head from my very own mother.

"Do not talk shit about my grandson." She said seriously and I just stared at her in amusement. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella lift her chin proudly. "You and your brother were far worse when you got together," she glared "may I remind you of the time you burned the tree house?"

"I was kidding!"

"You burned your tree house?" Bella asked in amusement.

"It was Andrew's idea," I defended myself "he had stolen a cigarette from another kid at school and wanted to try a few smokes. The idiot started choking and we ran out of the tree house. He forgot to put it out."

"Oh god." Bella laughed "So, he did get your genes after all. How old were you?"

I shrugged.

"I think we had just turned fifteen." I said scratching my head, it had happened a few months before the accident.

The host took the stage then to announce that dinner was ready, so everyone in the room started to make their way to their designed tables. I placed my hand on Bella's lower back and stirred her in the direction mom had pointed us. We walked across to the other side of the room to a table at the edge of the dance floor but as Bella and I crossed the dance floor with Alice next to us, my body stiffened when we came face to face with Kate and Irina.

Couldn't I catch a damn break?

The four of us stared at each other in shock, Bella's eyes widening at the sudden encounter. There was an awkward moment of silence before Alice came into action. She turned to Kate with a smile ignoring the big pink elephant in the room and talked.

"Oh, Kate! Garret was looking for you, I saw him about two minutes ago at the bar." She said as if nothing was out of place.

"Oh yes, I already talked to him thanks…" Kate said coming out of her trance, I immediately glanced at Bella, looking for any sign of distress but after the shock had winded down she only had an impassive expression on her features.

It made me nervous, my hands were sweating.

What was she thinking? What was going through her mind right now?

Following Alice's example Kate and Irina acted as if everything was Ok, but by their fidgeting hands I could tell both were nervous as well, especially Irina. It was stupid, the whole situation was since they had nothing to do with what their sister did but I remember Alice telling me they were ashamed of Tanya's actions and felt awful for what happened.

I remembered Kate's face when I told her about Bella being back and about my kids when I met her back in September to talk about Tanya. She had apologized thousands of times in behalf of her sister.

"Hi Edward…" Kate finally said "Bella, it's wonderful to finally see you again. You look stunning tonight." Kate smiled warmly at Bella.

"Thanks Kate, it's nice to see you and Irina too… how are you?" Bella responded softly forcing a smile and I gave her a small squeeze of her hand to remember her that I was here with her, that I wasn't going anywhere.

It's Ok baby.

I love you.

"We are good, thank you…" Irina said then "Although I wish I could get out of these damn heels already." She teased trying to make the situation a little less awkward "I'm glad Laurent doesn't like to dance."

"Laurent?" Bella inquired.

"My husband…" Irina smiled fondly "he is here somewhere," she said looking around "I'd like to introduce him to you later after dinner; I don't think you know him either, right Edward?"

"Yes, I met him at Alice and Jasper's wedding but never had the chance to talk to him properly." I said in a tight voice, still worried about Bella's impassive eyes and omitting the part that I had been a walking zombie back then therefore didn't talk to anyone much less Laurent at the church and didn't even make it to the reception before I called it a day.

"Oh, that's right!" Irina smiled, a smile that immediately reminded me of Tanya, although Irina's lacked of malice "Well, we better go and find our table… hope you have a pleasant night."

"You too," Alice said "see you later!"

I turned to Bella and my stomach fell at her look.

"Alice, would you excuse us a minute?" I said without looking at her, my eyes locked on Bella's form.

"Sure." She said quietly.

I pulled Bella out of the dining area and walked us to a corner near the restroom lounge out of sight of the party.

"Bella?" I said as I placed my hands on her shoulders making her face me. She was looking down at the floor.

"Bella?" I tried again, panic rising within me but she kept staring at nothing. Her face scared me and it made me thought of what dad told me when he met her in Ottawa that first time. How he told me about how lost and fragile she looked.

Please baby, don't pull away.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her, letting her know of my presence no matter where her mind was.

"Bella, please talk to me... what are you thinking?"

I felt a shiver run down her spine and I caressed her back in comfort.

"Bella, please... you are worrying me."

Why wasn't she speaking?

Then, as if a switch flipped inside her I sensed her come back. Her posture relaxed and I felt her wrap her arms around me too.

I sighed in relief but my worries remained.

"Talk to me..." I told her softly "please pretty girl... what is going through that beautiful head of yours?" I said kissing her temple.

Why was she reacting so strongly to Kate and Irina?

"I'm sorry..." she finally said "It's just took me by surprise... I didn't know they'll be here." She confessed and I felt like a total moron, I should have prepared her.

Carmen was on the committee, of course they'd be here. The whole family but her was here for fucks sake... I forgot about that when I invited her and didn't even think about it until Jasper reminded me when we got here.

Damn it!

"Is... is she here?"

Oh god, no wonder she reacted the way she did. She had thought Tanya was here too.

"No, she's not even in Toronto... don't worry about her." I took her face in both of my hands and forced her to look at me and what I saw in them ripped at my heart.

"Bella, I'd never bring you to a place where I know she'd be... I'll never do that to you. That'd be just cruel and humiliating... I'd prefer to walk barefoot on burning coals than to put you through something like that. I know how you feel about her and I personally don't want to ever have anything to do with her either. I'm sorry... I didn't know her family would be here, I found out when we got here... I swear." I said even though it was a lame excuse, how could I be so careless? I should have thought about it but I was just so excited about her coming with me that it didn't even cross my mind.

"It's not her family that bothers me... it's just... as I said it took me by surprise... and for a moment I thought she'd be here too... and then I looked at Irina... she looks so much like her... you know? Tall, blonde... pretty..." She trailed off in a soft voice and I saw her eyes water before she looked at the floor again.

"Bella look at me... no, fuck Bella _look_ at me." I said lifting her chin with my finger making her face me "We have talked about this, she means nothing to me you _know_ this...think about all I've told you, all we have talked about... don't let a moment of weakness and insecurities throw all we have achieved so far away... You were so happy just a moment ago laughing with my parents... don't let _her_ win." I said fervently.

That gave me her full attention.

"Bella, I don't know why Tanya did what she did... but no matter her reasons we are stronger than her... we must be, we have so much to win. Think about Andrew and Marie... think about us."

"I know... I'm sorry it's just that I saw Irina and then I thought about her and those images came back and... I'm sorry, I couldn't help it."

I kissed her forehead.

"What can I do to keep them away?" I whispered against her forehead.

But instead of answering, she pulled my face to hers and gave me a good passionate needy kiss that fucked with my mind and sent my heart racing.

As her urgent lips searched mine, I felt myself grow hard. Her lips were insistent, seeking reassurance and something else and I responded wholeheartedly. Telling her without words how much of a hold she had on me. I turned us around and pinned her against the wall -secluded from the world- pressing myself hard against her. She threw her arms around my neck for leverage and I thrust my tongue inside her mouth. Passion and lust ran in my veins and I felt my heart beating in my ears, our breathes becoming raged. She tugged at my bottom lip and I groaned as I felt her teeth graze it lightly.

It drove me crazy.

She parted for air but my need was too much my mouth instantly found her neck. I heard a low whimper come out of her mouth and my dick twitched at the sound, my hips thrusting forward a little. Her chest was heaving hard and fast as her hands found my hair, forcing me to go back to her mouth forcefully. My hands couldn't stay on her waist any longer, and as if they had a mind of their own they slowly started to move upwards her bare back and then to the front. My fingers traced the swell of her breasts over her dress, I felt her tremble under my touch and my thumbs pressed over her hardened nipples making me gasp when I realized she was braless.

The voice of the host boomed from the speaker next to us, breaking our spell.

We parted with a gasp, and it took us a moment to remember were we where. Bella sighed closing her eyes to calm her breathing and I rested my forehead against hers, doing the same... trying to will _him _down.

Four fucking years.

My morning showers were clearly not enough anymore.

I don't think they ever were.

"I'm sorry." She said, still out of breath.

"You have nothing to apologize for... I got carried away too..." I said hoarsely. "See what you do to me woman?"

She chuckled.

I opened my eyes to find hers watching me closely.

"I love you... and I'm sorry, I don't doubt you it's just that it was hard to see them. They brought old memories back."

"Shh..." I said kissing her firmly again "It's Ok... I understand, and I love you more."

"Impossible." She smiled.

"I don't think so." I kissed her nose.

And with that we finally headed to our table.

After our encounter with the Denali sisters thankfully the evening passed without anymore highlights, but after our heated impromptu make out session Bella and I hardly kept our eyes off of each other.

Or hands.

"Thanks for coming tonight." I told her honestly after softly kissing her lips.

"I love you." She said sweetly, making my heart jolt and I gave her another kiss.

A more serious kiss.

I couldn't get enough of her, especially when she said those words while wearing that sinful dress, now that I knew she had no bra under it, it was all I could think about. She looked so sexy and beautiful and elegant on it, it drove me crazy.

"Hey!" Emmett said throwing a cloth napkin at us reminding us of our surroundings "There are 267 elegantly appointed guest rooms above us. Just so you know… in case you want to make more little ginger smurfs." He smirked and Bella turned a hundred different shades of red.

"Or go back to the bathroom." Jasper said nonchalantly making Bella's face explode as she hid her face in my shoulder biting her lip in embarrassment, but I could only think of one thing.

_More little ginger smurfs_.

Was that even a possibility?

Because, I wanted it.

So. Bad.

Oh god, the possibility of Bella and I having more kids made my heart race in excitement so bad. But did she want that? Was it too soon to have that kind of conversation? I mean, she knew that I wanted us to be a family. We were on the same page, right?

Right?

Bella and I ignored his comment and decided to pay attention to Alice and Jasper's banter. We sat with Emmet, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper in a table for eight and my parents sat at another larger table with the rest of the committee. After a few minutes Bella and I finally relaxed and were able to join their conversation. We dined, joked, watched the auction and laughed. We laughed so much, especially at Emmett's antics and Alice and Jasper's little banters over literally _everything_.

Jeez, Alice's hormones sure were something.

I saw how my mom subtly turned to us every time our laughs boomed through the room, and I noticed how her gaze will instantly fall on Bella and me and a small smile will play on her lips every time. I caught her eyes a few times and she would always wink at me, she was elated at mine and Bella's closeness as our eyes barely left each other through the dinner and I would reach to hold her hand, place a lock of hair behind her ear or stroke her arm or thigh whenever I could. With every small gesture Bella would turn to me and smile that gorgeous smile that made my insides flip and my heart accelerate. Sometimes she would return the gesture and others she would look away shyly, biting her lip to disguise her smile. No doubt thinking about our little escapade.

We both laughed when the second course arrived and how at the same time she passed me her asparagus and I passed her my tomatoes. When it was time for dessert, she shared her cheesecake with me and I shared my ice cream with her. I think we paid more attention to ourselves than at the actual conversation that was going on at the table but I didn't really care. Bella was here with me and she was by far a more pleasant thing to look at than Emmet and Alice shove food to their faces as fast as they could.

Seriously, it looked like both of them were at a contest or something.

During dessert the auction started, I didn't make any offers… I just got a house for Bella and the twins after all and had to save for their future, not that I had any problem, far from it as I had my money very well invested but it was better to be safe than sorry. I was glad to hear that Emmet did end up winning the trip to Paris though, but after I heard how much money he offered I wasn't surprised. Jasper as me had a daughter to think of too now, he didn't make any offers either. At least a big part of the entrance cover went to the cause, and I did donate a large sum at the entrance booth.

After the auction, the band took the stage again and people stood up and headed to the dance floor. The champagne had flown freely so everyone was in high spirits by now. Bella couldn't stop giggling at something Alice -who was next to her- was telling her and that's how I knew she had had enough champagne for now. I had stopped drinking before the dessert as I was driving. When the band started playing some Pink's cover Alice squealed and made Rose and Bella join her to the dance floor. Before standing up Bella had turned to me and kissed my lips chastely.

"I'll be back in a minute." She said and I smiled at her.

"Don't worry about me, enjoy yourself."

"Thanks!" She kissed me two times again and followed Alice, Rose and Gianna to the dance floor.

Jasper and Emmet stood and sat by my sides, so we could all face the dance floor, the three of us watching over our women but Jasper wouldn't stop fidgeting.

"Is it Ok for her to dance in her state?" He asked me and I laughed.

"It's Ok Jazz, she is aware of her limits; she'll do what she feels comfortable with."

"Are you sure? Maybe I should ask your dad… second opinion you know?" He said still unsure and I shook my head chuckling.

"Ask away, but I'm telling you… she'll be fine, dancing is a type of exercise too so it would actually be good for her. Plus, it's not as if she is about to go into labour. She hasn't even entered her third trimester yet."

"Ok… I trust you man."

"Edward!" I heard my name being called and lifted my head to see Dr. Stanley, mine and dad's associate to the clinic and Jessica's brother approach.

"Lee!" I stood up to greet him with a man hug. "I didn't know you were coming, please have a seat." I said gesturing to our table.

"Thanks." He said sitting next to Jasper after greeting him and my brother.

"Hey man... so, you came alone or with a date?" Emmet asked.

"All alone, well… I came with my sister but lost track of her as soon as we entered the ballroom."

"Oh, I saw her before dinner but haven't seen her since."

"She must be on the phone with that stupid boyfriend of hers." He rolled his eyes "She had been trying to contact him all day."

"Jessica has a boyfriend?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, some idiot she met at a book store a few months ago... I hate the guy. By the way Edward… speaking of depraved people… I know it's none of my business but I accidentally heard a conversation between you and Lauren on the hallway the other day. Is everything Ok?"

I groaned and dragged my hand across my face.

"Don't remind me of her."

"Is she bothering you? Because you know we can remove her, I'm sure she can do her residence elsewhere." He insisted.

"I know, I wanted to talk to dad about it but we haven't been on the best terms lately and she had stopped for a while until last Wednesday."

"Who's Lauren?" Jasper inquired.

"The new resident, she's been harassing me lately." I admitted ruefully.

"Why do you always attract the crazy ones?" Emmet asked then and I let out a humourless laugh.

"I seriously don't know." I answered honestly.

"Alice says you are just too good of a person you can't say no. That's how you end up surrounded by bad people." Jasper offered.

"More of an idiot I'd say." I muttered "Well, I did say no to Lauren." I said louder "But I think it's best if we remove her, I can't handle another problem right now. My plate is already full as it is." I told Lee.

"You want me to talk to Carlisle?" He offered and I shook my head.

"No, I'll do it don't worry about it but thanks."

"Anytime, well… I think I'd better go and find my sister… I saw her talking to a blonde I want her to introduce me to." Lee winked at us as he stood up and waved at us.

"That's my man!" Emmet cheered.

"See you later." I told him.

When Stanley was gone, the three of us resumed our task of watching out for the girls as we talked animatedly about Thanksgiving next weekend.

"I can't wait! It's going to be a hell of a party." Emmet said cheerfully.

"I thought Esme was going to keep it simple this year?" Jasper asked.

"Yes, because it's Marie and Andrew's first thanksgiving she wants to invite close friends only. She wants it to be special."

"Well, as long as mom makes pecan pie I'm happy." Emmet stated and I rolled my eyes at him. It was always about food with him.

After a while a flushed Rosalie came back from the dance floor and sat on Emmet's lap with a huff.

"Dammit, Alice can really go at it. I don't know where she gets the energy from." She grimaced taking off her shoes.

"Is she Ok?" Jasper asked worriedly looking back at the dance floor.

"Oh, believe me she is more than Ok."

"Where is Bella?" I asked as I lost sight of her while talking to Emmet and Jasper and couldn't find her on the dance floor anymore.

"She and Gianna went for more drinks. They should be back in a moment."

"And Alice?" Jasper asked then.

"Probably sneaking into the kitchen." Emmet teased.

"She probably did, she was harassing a waiter for more cake."

"But… but... how is that possible? She had her dinner and half of mine!" Jasper said hysterically. "And before getting here she made me stop and get those damn cupcakes she loves!" Jasper said with wide eyes.

"Maybe she's an octomom?" Emmet inquired scratching his head.

Jasper blanched.

"What?" Jasper said turning to me with pleading eyes and I laughed out loud.

"She is not an octomom Jasper, don't be stupid." Rose smacked the back of Emmet's head. "It's normal to eat that much during pregnancy." She explained.

"I know that, but seriously… it's too much! The woman has made me go for fucking french fries at four in the morning, FOUR!"

From my peripheral vision I saw Alice and Bella come our way.

"Ehmm, Jasp-" I tried to warn him.

"And I seriously don't know how many boxes of those damn cupcakes I've bought in the last days. I don't even have to make a line at the store anymore, the owner has them ready for me every day by now! He calls me Jazzy!"

"Jasper!" I insisted but the idiot ignored me.

"I know Edward, I know it's normal! I love Alice and I know she's your sister but she's driving me crazy! Then there is the whining! Oh god the whining! She cries about _everything_! And I mean _everything_! If her shoes are not sorted by colour, if her tea is too hot, if Adam forgot the cushions, if I got her Hägen-Dazs instead of Ben & Jerry's or if Blair and Chuck had a fucking fight!"

By this time Alice was right behind Jasper, hands on her hips and throwing daggers at the back of his head. I could almost see smoke coming out of her ears as Emmet and I contained our laugher. Bella stood next to her with and amused look on her face.

"Well, to be fair Blair and Chuck should be together. Dair sucks." Rosalie said in a disgusted tone but with humour on her eyes at what was coming for Jasper.

"I don't fucking care about that! The point is I'm tired of buying fucking cupcakes every five minutes during the day and going to Mc Donald's at four in the morning every night! And the whining!"

"I'M WHINNY!" Alice screeched then making Jasper jump in his seat and look back at her with wide eyes. "I'M WHINNY?" She screeched again, making a few people at other tables turn to look at us.

"Baby?" Jasper whimpered with wide terrified eyes.

"I'll give you something to whine about! From now on _sex_ is off the table, INDEFINITELY!"

"Ewwww Alice!" Emmet and I whined while we shook away the mental image of our baby sister and best friend together.

"Baby, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" Jasper pleaded but Alice just turned around and stormed out with Jasper quickly following her.

"I'm glad we skipped that part, having our baby delivered at our door has its perks." Emmet smiled to Rosalie making her laugh.

"I gotta admit swollen feet and fingers aren't appealing either." She said making a face and I patted the seat next to me motioning Bella to come and sit with me.

"Finally," I told her as she scooted closer to me and I wrapped an arm around her "I missed you, are you having fun?"

"Yes! Gianna is so much fun!" She said excitedly and I smiled warmly at her. "Tyler would be an idiot if he lets her go. She really cares about him and she is so smart and pretty."

"You are prettier," I said kissing her nose "and sexier, have I told you how gorgeous you look tonight?" She blushed.

"Just a few times." She giggled, the champagne working its magic on her "What about you? Are you having a good time?"

"Now I am." I said stealing a kiss from her and she beamed at me.

_I was waiting for her at our usual spot until she finally came through the double doors. I waved at her and she came to sit on my lap. I handed her the coffee and she thanked me with a kiss._

"_Thanks pretty boy." She smiled before taking a zip "You having a good day?"_

"_Now I am." I said and that earned me another kiss making me smile wider at her. "How about you? What did you do all morning besides thinking of me?" She rolled her eyes but laughed anyway._

"_Well, I applied for some job interviews at some publishing companies." She said crossing her fingers in the air. "Now I have to wait and see who will see me."_

"_I'm sure they will, they'd be idiots if they don't see the potential in you."_

"_You are only saying that because you love me." She said taking a bite from my muffing "but thanks" She said with her full mouth "I'm also going to my last fitting later today." She said wiggling her perfect eyebrows at me and I smiled widely._

"_Can't wait to see you in your wedding dress." I said kissing her shoulder and she swallowed._

"_Yeah, I hope it fits." She said, putting the muffing down._

"_Why wouldn't fit? I thought it was being specially made to your size." I said frowning and she looked down taking a sip from her coffee._

"_Oh," She gulped "yeah… I know. I meant I hope it looks good on me."_

"_You could be wearing a potato bag and you'd still look amazing to me." I said kissing her nose._

"_You could be wearing __**nothing**__ and still look amazing to me." She said playfully kissing me back._

"Ladies and gentleman, for our next set we will…"

The voice of the lead singer brought me out of my memories and I looked at Bella, who was staring at me curiously.

"Where did you go now?" She said sweetly.

"Old memories." I answered her.

"Good memories?" She inquired tracing her index finger along my jaw.

"Amazing memories."

She kissed my lips softly.

"I love you." She said against my lips and I smiled.

"I'll never tire of hearing you say that."

"Good, cause I don't plan to stop." She said kissing me again and I responded instantly. Thankfully Emmet and Rosalie were occupied in similar activities so no one interrupted us this time.

"_You're insecure__, __don't know what for…" _The lead started to sing, in a slow version from the original and suddenly an idea came to mind. I broke our kiss and I stood up stretching my hand out to her. She looked at me as if I had gone crazy.

"What?" She asked eyeing my hand skeptically.

"Dance with me."

"_You're turning heads__when you walk through the door…"_

"You? Dancing? Are you crazy?" She chuckled looking around nervously and I shrugged.

"_Don't need make up__, __to cover up…"_

"Mmm, why not?" I said taking her hand and dragging her to the middle of the dance floor. "Besides, I thought you liked this song. Weren't you dancing this that day at your kitchen with Andrew?"

She blushed.

"_Being the way that you are, is enough…"_

"Yeah, but you don't have to Edward."

"_Everyone else in the room can see it__… __Everyone else but you__…"_

"I know… but I want to."

I placed her right arm around my neck, my left hand on her lower back closing the distance between us and took her left hand in mine bringing them both over my chest and started swaying us at the slow beat of the soft melody.

"_Baby you light up my world like nobody else__… __The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed…"_

"Wow Edward, you are a good dancer!" She said in surprise. "I didn't know you could dance." She said in an accusatory tone and I laughed.

"I said I hated to dance, not that I was bad at it." I winked at her and she blushed looking down for a sec.

"_But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell__… __you don't know oh oh__… __you don't know you're beautiful… that's what makes you beautiful…"__  
><em>

We continued to dance in silence the rest of the song, lost into each other's eyes. She felt so wonderful in my arms, my chest filling with love and joy at watching her beautiful face shine with happiness in the dimmed light, I wished we could stay like this forever. Call me a sap, a romantic a love sick or an idiot but that's how this woman made me feel, and I didn't care. She always brings out the best of me. Through the middle of the song she reclined her head on my chest and I pressed my cheek at the top of her head. I felt her take a deep sigh and let it out with a contented hum.

The song ended but we didn't stop. Thankfully the band continued to play soft ballads and I noticed there were other several couples on the dance floor too, my parents being one of them and I spotted Alice and Jasper dancing close to them too.

I guess she finally forgive him.

"Can I ask you something?" Bella's soft voice resonated on my chest.

"Of course." I said kissing her temple, lingering a little bit to breathe her in, savouring her scent as it swirled sweetly through my lungs "Anything."

She lifted her head from my chest and looked at me with soft eyes.

"Why would you always rub your chest?" She asked in a small voice.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"At first, that day when you found me at the park… and the weeks that followed. I noticed you rubbed your chest often… but you don't do it anymore. What was that?" She asked curiously.

"Oh," I said avoiding her gaze when it dawned on me what she was talking about "Uhmm that… well, it was kind of a reflex I suppose…"

"A reflex?" She asked even more curiously, still staring intently at me.

"Yes uhmm… well, every time we fought or every time I thought about us… it hurt, it physically hurt. It felt like something was ripping at my chest, burning it… I guess I was unconsciously trying to appease the pain."

It never worked.

"Oh." She said looking down.

"Hey, no no…" I said lifting her face with my index finger and found her eyes watering "No, no… it's Ok Bella. We are Ok."

She placed a small kiss on my chest and wrapped both of her arms around my neck tightly, hiding her face on it.

"I'm sorry…" She said hoarsely. "I didn't know."

Shit, I shouldn't have said anything. It was just a stupid mannerism I caught during the years she was gone.

"It's Ok, you have nothing to be sorry for… I messed up too."

"Can we go somewhere else?" She whispered with her face still hidden in my chest and I knew she was close to a breakdown.

"Sure… come with me."

I took her hand and hurriedly led her out of the room, once in the lobby I called for the elevator. I didn't really realize where I was taking her until we almost reached the top floor.

"Where are we?" She said more in control of herself.

"The rooftop." I said as the doors slid open.

A few people mingled at the bar, but as it was late it was relatively deserted. As we stepped out of the elevator I turned to her, took off my jacket and wrapped it around her.

"Thanks." She said burying her face on my chest again and hugging my midsection to warm herself up.

"Come on, let's sit over there." I said, pulling her to a bench in our half embrace at the other side of the rooftop next to a heater. I sat with her on my lap and she pressed her face on my neck, warming her face with my body heat. I undid my bowtie, opened the top two buttons of my collar shirt and held her tighter on my arms.

"Better?" I asked.

"Yes." She hummed before a shiver ran down her spine. She leaned away to look around.

"Are you sure? We could go back inside if you are too cold."

"No, I like it here… such a lovely view. I love star gazing." She said looking towards the sky.

I looked upwards and marvelled at the beauty before my eyes. Thousands of stars shined in the clear sky, like tiny little diamonds scattered in the dark.

"Did you hate me? Please be honest…" She said then and I looked down to see her watching me intently.

"I wanted to, but… I couldn't." I answered honestly.

"Why not? I kept them from you…" Her voice broke.

"I love you way more than how angry I'd ever be at you…"

"You are a masochist." She chuckled humourlessly clearing her tears away with the back of her hands.

"I know." I chuckled with her before I kissed her forehead "but is the truth." I said looking back at her eyes.

…

…

…

"What about you?" I forced myself to ask.

She closed her eyes for a moment, thinking about her answer as I waited nervously. Then she let out a sigh and started playing with the loose end of my bowtie hanging around my neck.

"I thought you wanted her." She started to say softly "I… I hated you… because no matter what I did, I couldn't stop loving you, and that hurt… especially with those horrid images swirling on my head... whenever I saw something that reminded me of you... they haunted me... sometimes even in my dreams."

I frowned.

She kept saying that, I know it was inevitable that she would picture me and Tanya together but how vivid those images were?

"Bella, I want you to trust me… I would never want to hurt you. What happened with… Tanya, even though I could have prevented it… it was something that went out of my control. If I could, I would take it all back… I'd go back in time… to when everything started and would have never even dated her… I didn't even want to be with her back then. I just want to be with you."

"I know…" She said finally looking at me.

"Remember what I told you when I proposed?"

She smiled sadly.

"Which part?"

...

...

...

I swallowed before speaking.

"I told you that without you my life would be meaningless, pointless… that you made my life worthwhile… I told you that… that I always knew that some part of me was missing, and that I used to think that that part went missing when Andrew left… but when I met you, I knew it was only you who was meant to fill that part. You are my soul mate," I kissed her cheek "my other half," her forehead "my everything…" her lips.

"I remember." She mumbled against my lips and felt her tears mix with mine on both of our cheeks and I chuckled.

"I can't believe how much I have cried these past years…" I whispered "where did you hide my balls?"

She laughed wholeheartedly and pressed her lips forcefully back on mines.

"I'm serious, am I too cheesy?" I said in mock seriousness trying to lift the mood.

"Crying doesn't make you less of a man… it only proves you have a wonderful and caring soul." She said placing her hand above my heart "And that's what I love most about you." She said placing another chaste kiss on my chest.

"So I _am_ cheesy." I said playfully poking at her sides and she giggled clearing her tears with the back of her hands.

"Well, I'll have you in a cracker then." She said in a funny voice and bit my chin playfully. I pulled away and kissed her lips instead.

"You seem pretty fond of our memories." She commented when we pulled apart and I sighed.

"Well, when you left… I didn't have much left from you… so I took what I could. It was my happy place." She traced her fingers through my hair and looked sadly at me.

"I should've come back sooner." She said sadly.

"You are here now… dancing in the rain remember? Living the now, don't worry about the past and what ifs."

"Living the now." She nodded.

"What do you want to do tomorrow? Do you want to go to my parent's house again for brunch?" I changed the subject.

"Won't they be tired after tonight?" She asked frowning.

"Are you kidding? Mom would take any opportunity to have her grandkids at her house."

She giggled.

"Well, in that case I'd love to. I had a great time last Sunday; let's just make sure Andrew leaves his Captain America suit back home."

"Please!" I said looking at the sky and she laughed at my dramatic act. "That kid is going to give me a coronary one day."

"He's not that bad." She defended him half heartedly.

"Of course, he has you under his spell too… but you were pretty mad at him too when he broke mom's ceramic gnomes if I remember correctly." I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Ok, maybe a little but wh-" She stopped abruptly when something vibrated between us. Frowning she took her small silver bag and pulled her cell phone out. When she saw the caller ID she went rigid for a second before hurriedly answering her phone.

"Melanie?" She said anxiously and my heart stopped beating. "Did something happen?"

Why was Melanie calling? Did something happen to the kids? I heard Melanie's voice coming from Bella's phone but couldn't understand a fucking word.

"Phone calls?" Bella asked in confusion and I heard Melanie's voice again. Then Bella frowned, and I willed myself to relax as if something bad had happened to them I'm sure Bella would be in hysterics by now but I still had to take a breath.

Why was Melanie calling?

"The police? And what did they say?" Bella said, catching my full attention then, her face a mix of confusion and worry. "No, no… don't worry; I'm glad you called… where are the kids?"

"What happened?" I mouthed, not able to wait any longer.

"Mel, could you hold a sec please?" Bella said before turning to me. "Melanie says that someone has been calling to the land line about every five minutes for the last hour but didn't say anything… she called the police and they tried to trace the call but it was from a private phone… they said it was probably a prank but she got nervous because Sam won't stop barking and decided to call us anyway."

"Tell her we are on our way." I said as a bad feeling crept into my body and I saw Bella let out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks" She told me and went back to Melanie "Melanie, don't worry Ok? I'm sure it was just a prank but Edward and I are on our way anyway so try to relax… no, no… stop apologizing I'm glad you called don't worry about it." Bella grabbed my wrist to look at my watch "It's late anyway."

I took a look at my watch then and realized it was actually pretty late. It was almost two in the morning. As soon as Bella hung up we stood up and made our way to the ballroom to let someone know we were leaving.

"What else did she say?" I asked as I called the elevator and she started biting her thumbnail.

"She says the calls were exactly every five minutes… at first she thought it was a prank too but then Sam started barking and she got nervous. She called the police again and a cruiser went to make a few rounds around the block but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Sam probably just smelled a cat or something but I still want to go home." She pleaded and I nodded.

"What about the kids?"

"They are asleep. Didn't hear a thing."

Something was bugging me… who would make a prank at two in the morning like that? Besides… how did they get the house number? It's not listed in the book because of safety reasons. This was weird but I kept my comments to myself so I wouldn't worry Bella.

When the elevators doors opened we hurriedly walked to the ballroom and entered searching for any familiar face.

"Where have you been?" Alice said as soon as she saw us.

"Around," I answered "Ehmm listen could you please tell mom we had to go? That we are sorry we couldn't say goodbye but we are kind of in a hurry."

"What happened?" Jasper asked knitting his brows together.

"Nothing, it's just that Melanie got nervous over some weird phone calls she's been receiving. It's probably just a prank but we still got worried." I said still trying to keep Bella calm.

"You should be, have you ever seen _when a stranger calls?" _Emmett said seriously "Spooky movie." He shivered and Bella went pale.

"I've seen that movie." She said in a frighten voice and I immediately wanted to punch Emmett in the face.

"Gee Em, thanks!" I said sarcastically and he beamed at me.

"Anytime Eddie." I glared at him before turning to Bella.

"It's just a movie Bella, I'm sure they will be fine… the police said it was probably a prank. But c'mon, let's go."

"Call to let us know everything is fine." Alice said.

"Will do." I told her as I took Bella's hand and headed out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Before you guys jump at my throat about how Edward can't put two and two together with the black mercedes and the phone calls, well there is really no reason. It was just and expensive car on a expensive neighborhood... why would it be out of place? Why would he think there is a threat until now?<strong>

**Anyways, I'm still working on Rosalie's outtake, thank you so much for your patience over that one!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**


	27. Chapter 27: Beautiful

**Hello! I'm so sorry about the huge delay, but after the scandal I couldn't bring myself to finish the chapter... with the principal theme of this Fic I'm sure you understand why, as for me in someway she had become Tanya... the other woman, although the circumstances are very different it still hurt. Especially cause I've been cheated on too, with my best friend no less so it hit close to my heart. I was pretty sad and mad, I admired her, she was my role model... it might be stupid to feel like this but when you look up to someone so much their bad choices hurt you too. But after a couple of days I finally accepted what happened and decided that I wasn't going to let this ruin our last month of this fandom, I'm a fan of Twilight and that's what matters. I still love Bella and Edward and still believe in love =)**

**Thank you so much to all the people who PM me about what's going on saying my fic gave them hope and how it helped them over this last few days. Thank you for your encourage and wonderful words, they meant a lot!**

**In other happy news, about 3 people FINALLY figured out what happened in Ottawa, I'm so proud of you! One of them had to re-read the first chapters lol!**

**I'm so happy there are so many fans of Chuck and Blair too, and that also thinks that Dair sucks! But as WRIGHTHANGAL put it, that's another fandom ;)**

**Thank you so much to LISOPERA for pre-reading this again! I love you girl, you are the best! Thank you for cheering me up this last couple of days too!**

**Thanks to Cattinson for her Betta powers and for encouraging me to continue with this story!**

**And thank you for your amazing response on the last chapter! I have the best readers ever! I'm sorry I don't always answer but I read every single one of them.**

**SM own everything =)**

* * *

><p>Chapter 27. Beautiful<p>

"**Beautiful" – Trading Yestearday**

And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours  
>To touch, just to feel a love that seems to overpower me<br>She's all I'll ever need  
>And you know her love just hypnotizes me<br>'Til All I see is beautiful

At night I dream that you were sent to me from heaven  
>My Life, it seems so lonely here without your presence<br>You could change my everyday  
>And I could never think of love without your name<br>As you remain…

Beautiful… like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain  
>Beautiful… like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break<br>Beautiful… like the joy that comes when the love you've longed for has just begun  
>Beautiful… making everything brand new<br>Beautiful you

And all this time you're changing me to something better  
>A love so high that everyday that we're together<br>I will leave the world below  
>Until your heart becomes the only thing I know<br>All I know is…

Beautiful

As I round the corner to Bella's street, -after the longest 30 minutes of my life- a black car passes next to us. I see on my rearview mirror and realize it's the neighbors' car.

Weird, where are they going this late at night?

I squint my eyes to get a better look before the car disappears and see that the car has a British Columbia's license plate instead of Ontario's.

That's… strange.

But I don't have time to dwell on it, as soon as I park in Bella's driveway she jumps out of the car and heads to the front door and I'm right behind her. We step on the porch and Bella quickly retrieves her key from her purse and opens the door.

"The door was unlocked." Bella whispers at me in a tight voice and my heart and lungs stop working altogether.

"The alarm didn't go off either." I breathe back and her eyes go wide.

Bella quickly steps inside and was about to call for Melanie, but I quickly covered her mouth and motioned her to be silent, her eyes full of worry and fear. I could literally hear and feel her heart beat over mine as I hold her tight against my body.

Quietly, I motioned Bella to take off her heels and carefully we start looking for Melanie in the living room and kitchen but she was nowhere downstairs.

Bella's breath suddenly gets caught in her throat and quickly darts to the stairs but I grip her arm before she can reach them.

"Stay here." I tell her quietly but firmly, giving her my phone -just in case- before I turn and head upstairs.

I open the door to the second floor and hear no sound. I quickly check in Bella's room for the kids and my heart starts again when I see them cuddled together on Bella's bed sleeping soundly. I quickly check on them removing the covers and after making sure they are Ok. I scan the other rooms, bathrooms and closets finding them empty. Then I head to the TV room at the end of the hallway and see Melanie fast asleep on the couch, her hand clutching her phone tightly over her chest.

I return back downstairs and find Bella pacing nervously on the foyer, biting harshly on her thumbnail where I left her.

"Everything is fine." I say as I hit the last step, she let out a ragged breath and throws herself at me. I catch her in a tight embrace my hands caressing her back in a soothing manner. "The kids are in your room and Melanie's in the TV room. They are all asleep."

"Thank god." She breathes.

"Go and check on them…" I say, knowing she was dying to go to them "I'll wake Melanie up." She lets out a sigh of relief before practically flying upstairs to her room.

After waking Melanie up, we headed downstairs to the kitchen -freeing Sam at the same time as the poor guy had trapped himself there when the door to the kitchen had closed itself- and I ask her to re-tell me everything that happened tonight. I could tell she was a little shaken but tried not to show it. She apologized a thousand times for making us come back after what apparently was only a prank but Bella and I assured her that she did what she was supposed to do. Then she apologized another thousand times for forgetting to lock the door after we left, she swore she thought she had locked it back and put the alarm on again.

Then she proceed to tell us everything that happened the last couple of hours. That the calls had started around one, waking her up and that at first she thought it was someone calling a wrong number. They all where between a five minute interval and after the third she thought it was someone pulling a prank. Around one thirty Sam started barking and growling from his spot in the kitchen and the calls became more frequent making her nervous so she called 911. They tried to trace the calls but it was from a private number and to short for them to trace them so a cruiser did a few rounds finding nothing out of ordinary. Sam continued to bark and growl at the kitchen window so she freaked out and decided to call us. All this happened in the last hour.

"There was another phone call after I hung up with Bella… but no more since."

"Did they ever say something?" I asked with a frown as nothing made sense.

She shook her head.

"No, I just heard someone breathing on the other side of the line… but that was it."

Something bothered me… as if something was, I don't know… obvious, but for some reason I couldn't see it, but I did know it wasn't something good… and that scared me. I didn't want to scare Bella, so I held a mask so she couldn't see my worry. I stood next to her, while she sat on a barstool with her arms around my waist. Her expression was a mixture of confusion and worry while she listened to Melanie.

"Did you give our phone number to any of your friends that might have tried to pull you a prank?" I asked.

"No Mr. Cullen, I swear… only mom and dad knew I'd be here tonight."

I nodded.

"Ok, well thankfully nothing happened… and even if it wasn't a friend of yours it was probably just a prank from some other kid… its Saturday night after all, maybe it was a bunch of kids at a sleepover or something calling at random numbers, but thank you for calling us anyway." Bella calmed her, as Melanie was working herself up over disrupting our night for nothing as she had said, as in fact nothing bad happened.

But I still had yet to calm down. I kept thinking about the pattern… the reason… something didn't make sense, even if they were just a bunch of kids… why would they call this late and say nothing? Not a punch line? Not a joke? That's what kids commonly did right? Otherwise where would be the fun of calling? Why call to say nothing? Where was the fun of that?

I turned to the window Melanie said Sam was barking at, I walked closer and looked through it. Aside from a cruiser on the corner of the street everything seemed normal.

I needed to talk to them.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I feel kind of stupid now." Melanie said burying her face in her palms.

"No Melanie… I would be mad if you didn't call, you did good." I assured her as I turned and reclined on the sink "Now, I know you must be tired… I'll call a cab for you." I said and she smiled shyly at me.

"Thank you Mr. Cullen."

I nodded and turned to walk out of the kitchen –with the purpose of going out to talk to the cops- with Sam immediately following after me.

"Hey boy!" I said petting the back of his head "you took good care of my kids?"

He barked and I laughed.

"That's my boy."

I quickly called for a cab, after hanging up Sam started to get all restless again. He started barking at me before running to the foyer.

"What's up buddy? You wanna go out to take a leak?"

I looked through the side windows of the door, and thankfully the cruiser was still parked at the corner. Then Sam caught my attention again, jumping up and down, scratching the door and leaving a few marks on the wood. It gave me the perfect excuse without alarming Bella.

"You better stop that or Auntie Alice and mommy Bella will have you on tacos." I said "and with Auntie Alice's appetite I assure you I'm not joking." I said as I took his leash from the coat closet.

"Bella?" I called as I put the leash on Sam's collar "I'm taking Sam out for a few minutes."

"Ok!" She said from the kitchen.

As soon as I put a foot outside the house a gush of wind ran down the dark street sending scattered maple leafs everywhere. I pulled my coat tighter to protect me from the cold and headed to the cruiser. As I was getting closer, two police officers stepped out guessing I wanted to talk to them.

"Good evening officers." I said stretching my hand towards them "or good morning should I say." The tall one chuckled and the other one just smiled politely at me.

"Good morning sir, I'm officer Stephens and this is my partner officer Jones… how can I help you?" The tall one said.

"I'm Edward Cullen, that's my kids and girlfriend's house over there" I said pointing with my thumb at the house "I assume you were the ones who scanned the area after the sitter called?"

"Yes, we did." Officer Jones said "but everything seems Ok. We only stayed to watch out just in case so don't worry."

"Thank you." I said feeling better that they had had protection close while Bella and I came from the hotel "But I was wondering if you could explain to me better what happened… the sitter didn't make much sense, she was a little fretted."

They nodded and Jones started to explain.

"After Miss Cope called, someone at the station called us to make a few rounds at this area and explained to us what was going on. While we checked out for any abnormalities they tried to trace the call, it was a private number so we couldn't know to whom it belonged to."

"Nothing at all?"

"Well, we know it's from out of area… so we didn't worry too much about it. But as that didn't tell us from _where_ that person was calling, as it could have been a cell phone and be anywhere, we just knew that number wasn't from Toronto therefore Chief Banner told us to stay and watch out."

"Out of area? Do you know where?"

"Ottawa." Stephens answered and my brows furrowed together. "We think it was just a prank, but we don't take anything lightly and Miss Cope was really worried so we stayed anyway."

I nodded… lost in my own thoughts. This was getting stranger.

"Thank you so much officers, we really appreciate it." I thanked them.

"It's our job have a good night Mr. Cullen." Officer Jones said.

I nodded and turned back to the house just as Melanie's cab pulled up front. I headed back inside and told Melanie her cab was waiting for her. I paid her for her services and the cab and Bella and I said goodbye to her after thanking her again. Bella closed the door with a sigh and turned to me.

"Crazy night, huh?" She said with sleepy eyes.

"I'll say so… are you Ok?" I asked with concern.

"Yeah… I guess. I just thought the worse… thankfully it was false alarm but I'm glad we still got back before anything else could have happened."

"C'mere…" I said opening my arms to her and she gladly wrapped her arms around my waist burying her face on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and slowly swayed us from side to side. "I love you." I said softly against her ear and she kissed my chest before turning her head up to me.

"Stay?" She asked in a small voice smiling shyly at me and I smiled back kissing her forehead.

"Are you sure?" I asked uncertain. "Are you asking me because you are afraid or because you want me to?" Either way of course I was going to stay… but I just wanted to make sure where we stood tonight.

"I'm not scared anymore, the kids are alright and it was probably some stupid kid goofing around. I want you to… aside from all the craziness I had a great time tonight… I don't want you to go." I smiled and tipped down to kiss her lips softly, lingering a little bit just to breathe her in.

"Please… stay with me tonight?" She breathed as I placed my forehead against hers.

"Of course."

After Bella and I put the kids back to their own beds we retreated to her bedroom. I sat on her couch taking my shoes and socks off while she went into her closet to retrieve her pajamas. I looked to my left to where her desk stood and my eyes caught a glimpse of her and Charlie when she was a little girl in a little frame. She had a pink tutu wrapped around her waist. I smiled at the picture she looked so cute with her ballerina outfit and pigtails. I guess this was the time Charlie took her to that class she told me about.

"Uhm… Edward?"

I lifted my gaze from the picture to find Bella poking her head from her closet. She was biting her lip nervously.

"Yes?"

"Could you uhh… please help me? To unzip my dress?" She asked and I swallowed a big gulp.

"Sure." I mumbled standing up.

She came out of her closet, she had already got rid of the pins holding her hair up and now big soft mahogany curls cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. She slowly walked towards me until she stood in front of me and turned around. I moved her hair over her left shoulder, my fingers brushing her bare upper back lightly and a shiver ran down her spine. I pulled the zipper down slowly, my heart beat beating faster with every tooth giving in with a soft murmur. When it was finally all the way down I caught a glimpse of the black lace of her panties and I instantly went hard. I shut my eyes willing junior down and swallowed before opening my mouth again.

"Done." I said hoarsely, she nodded holding her dress to her body and lifted her face to the side to smile shyly at me.

"Thank you." She said with a small blush covering her cheeks and turned her body to me. "Here…" She said handing me some sweatpants "These are Charlie's… they are clean, he left them at our old apartment in Ottawa one time he visited. I'm not sure how they'll fit you but they'll be more comfortable than those pants… and it's too cold for you to sleep in boxers again." She blushed harder at the last part, I chuckled and took the sweatpants from her, tossing them to the bed and grabbing her hips pulling her closer to me, pressing her against my chest as she struggled to keep covering her chest with her dress.

"Do I make you nervous?" I whispered against her ear.

"No."

"Then why are you blushing? You've seen me in less than boxers before, we have two little monsters to prove it." I teased, trailing one finger up her spine. I heard her gasp and she continued with a quivering voice.

"Edward…"

Oh, I was enjoying this too much.

"Do I make you nervous? Answer me…" I insisted, tipping my head down and trailing soft kisses along her jaw.

"Edward… stop the kids…" She said a little breathless and I smiled against her skin.

"They are asleep." I said lowering my hands to cup her ass, pressing her body flush against mine.

"Edward… we can't." She said halfheartedly "It's too soon…"

"Who said we were doing anything?" I asked kissing the curve of her long neck.

"Then stop…"

"Stop what? Can't I kiss my girlfriend slash mother of my kids slash love of my life?" I said playfully and she chuckled pulling away and looking at me with humor and bright shining eyes.

"We did everything backwards." She said wrapping one arm around my neck while the other still hold her dress up and nuzzled my nose.

I shrugged.

"As long as we get to the finish line… I'm fine with any rout we take."

"And what's the finish line?" She asked playfully.

I looked directly in her eyes. Once again marveling at the utter beauty of them, even if they looked tired after a long night and her make-up a little smudged.

"I've told you before what I want… I just… I hope that now you want the same things too?"

She stood on her toes and kissed me soundly.

"Refresh my mind… what are those desires of yours?" She asked between kisses.

"You… the kids and me…" I said still kissing her "together as a family… you with my last name… probably a couple more ginger smurfs running in our backyard… you and me grey haired…" I pulled away and held her face between my hands to make her look at me "I want a _life_ with you."

Her eyes watered instantly and she tilted her head to the side as she listened to me. I traced my thumb over her plump lower lip and she kissed it softly.

"I want everything with you… all those dreams we had before and the new ones we have now… I want the old you and the new you… I want to keep every promise and vow I ever made to you… I want to cherish and worship your every dawn and make love to you every twilight, I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you every night… his and hers towels."

She smiled a watery smile at me.

"How can you turn me into mush every time I ask you something serious?"

I chuckled.

"What about you? What do you want?" I said looking intently at her eyes to only find honesty and love in them. She brought our foreheads together and closed her eyes for a second, looking for words.

"Edward… for once in a long time… I don't have to pretend to be happy, when I'm with you I can finally breathe… it just happens. Of course I want everything you just said too… everything… it would be a dream come true… taking where we left off, but taking a step at a time… I'm not ready to have grey hair yet." She joked lightly and I laughed kissing her lips forcefully, my heart galloping in my chest at finally being on the same page with her. I've been waiting years for this surely I could wait a little more… I'll give her all the time she needed.

"So… I'm your girlfriend then?" She smiled brightly at me and it only occurred to me now it was the first time I had said it out loud in front of her.

"Well… girlfriend doesn't quite seem right comparing what you really mean to me… if it were for me… I'll call you my forever or I don't know… My life? My reason for living? But those would seem kind of odd while in public… so girlfriend it is." She laughed out loud and kissed me forcefully again clinging at me.

I was quite enjoying this, especially now that her dress had slipped a little bit by now.

"_Excuse me sir, let me introduce you to my forever_" She said, trying to mimic my voice making me laugh at her bad impression "You're right, it'll definitely raise some eyebrows."

"Let's go to bed beautiful." I chuckled. "And I do _not_ sound like that."

She laughed before giving me another kiss and going into her bathroom. I quickly took my clothes off and pulled the sweatpants on, folding the hem a couple of times so they wouldn't fall off. I was about to put my clothes over Bella's desk chair when I heard a loud frightening scream coming from the bathroom.

"Bella?" I said running as fast as lighting to the bathroom door, Bella opened it wearing her baby blue tank top and pink cotton shorts and slammed against me in her run, knocking the air out of me.

"Oh my god! Oh my god!" She screamed hysterically in my arms scaring the fuck out of me.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I said grabbing her shoulders.

"Oh god!" She cried burying her face on my chest.

"BELLA! Calm down, please honey you are scaring me… what's wrong?"

"A rat! Big dead rat!" she yelled.

"What?" I asked incredulous, my eyes going fucking huge.

"There's a big fucking dead rat in my bathtub!"

What the fuck?

I went into the bathroom and looked inside Bella's tub and sure enough there was a big ass mother fucker black dead rat lying there. The smell around it so powerful I instantly felt like puking.

"Oh god." I gagged as I went back into Bella's room "How did it got there?" I asked bewildered.

"I don't know! The drain?" She said taking breaths to calm herself from the scare.

"I don't think so, did you leave any doors open?"

"No! Sam or the kids could go out to the street… oh god that's gross!" she said covering her mouth with her hand.

"Bring me a trash bag and dish gloves, I'll get rid of it." I said, not wanting Bella to come close to it and risking her to catch a disease or something. She nodded and ran out of the room.

After getting rid of the monster rat, throwing it outside onto the trashcan I went back upstairs and found Bella with another pair of yellow dish gloves pouring a whole bottle of disinfectant into a full bathtub.

"Let it soak for a few minutes…" I said and she nodded. "I'm going to check on the kids."

"The kids?"

"Yes, just checking for bite marks… they were sleeping in here when we arrived." Bella's eyes went wide and she stood up quickly.

"You think they got bitten?"

"No, they would have woken up and Melanie would have noticed, I'm just taking precautions plus, the thing smelled… I think it had been dead for a while… when was the last time you took a bath?"

"Well, I never take a bath… I use the shower stall but I think I would have noticed… if not me at least Sam and I'm sure it wasn't there when I got ready for the gala, Alice sat on the edge of the tub while I got ready… she would have seen it. Sam hasn't been out since Wednesday, only when _I_ took him out for a leak so he couldn't have brought it in either."

"But it was too big for the drain…" I mused "What about the windows?"

Bella shook her head.

"The mosquito screens are sealed."

"What about the backyard? Did you have that door open today?"

"No? Oh! Yesterday Andrew and Marie were playing with Sam… I always make sure the screens are closed though… I must have slipped. Fuck! That thing had been in the house since yesterday?" Bella said making a face and shuddering at the same time.

"It's Ok, I'll call the fumigators on Monday."

"Oh god, that thing scared the fuck out of me." She said and I chuckled.

"You wouldn't say… and _you_ scared the fuck out of _me_."

"I'm sorry… but I hate rats and mice and anything that trails or crawls on the ground." She said shivering lightly. "Go and check on the kids… I'm going to spray some Lysol around the rooms and bathrooms."

"You're a little germaphobic aren't you?" I teased.

She glared at me.

"There was a _dead rat_ in my bathtub, I think I have the right to get a little paranoid don't you think?"

"I was only teasing love…" Her eyes warmed "I'll go and get the Lysol for you."

I kissed her nose and went to the white closet on the hallway for two spray cans of Lysol.

* * *

><p><em>I'm lying on my bed reading my dad's thesis when the door swings open with so much force it makes me jump and look up, only to see my twin storm inside with a hard face and slam the door shut behind him.<em>

"_Andrew? What's wrong?" I ask startled but he stalks to his bed and throws himself face first ignoring my question._

"_Andrew? Are you Ok?" I ask in concern._

"_Leave me the fuck alone!" _

_Whoa there._

"_Jeez… calm down, what's wrong?" I try again._

"_Fucking stupid bitch! I can't believe her!" Andrew growls into the pillow._

"_Who? Emma?" I ask in confusion, they broke up a couple months ago. I thought he was over her already._

"_Tanya!" He cried into his pillow._

"_What happened? Did you get into a fight with her?" I ask putting the book back on my nightstand and taking off my thick framed glasses._

"_She is so stupid! I can't believe her?" He cried harder and that really put me on edge, something really must be wrong as Andrew never cried._

_He was Andrew._

_He thought of himself as tough but I knew better._

"_I mean… what the fuck is wrong with her! Didn't she at least think about it!" He yelled at no one._

"_Andrew, dude… you are not making any sense here… what happened?"_

"_Nothing! Leave me alone!"_

_I stand up and go and lay myself next to him on his bed. We keep silent, not saying anything. Andrew is very hotheaded, so I was waiting for his temper to pass so I could talk to him calmly and hopefully help him._

_After a few minutes he sighs and turns to face the ceiling with me. His expression hard to read but I can still see tidbits of pain and anger in his eyes._

"_Better?" I ask quietly._

"_No."_

…

…

…

"_Wanna talk about it?" I ask hopeful, wanting to help him._

"_Can't tell you."_

"_Why?"_

"_It's personal… but, god! I can't believe she'd do something like that! She should've at least asked me but NO! Mrs. Fucking-Egoistical had to act without my knowledge and now… God! That was just wrong, you know? Wrong Edward!"_

_I didn't know what to say, especially because I really didn't know what he was talking about. The only thing I got was that Tanya did something selfish and that pissed him off. But as I didn't know what and how it affected him I could only listen to him, let him vent._

"_I mean… I couldn't believe she didn't even tell me about it… I also had a say in this you know?… this shit wasn't just about her… and to learn it from Irina? FUCK HER!"_

"_Did you tell her how you feel about this?"_

"_Of course! Just came from her house… thankfully we are going to nana's next week and I won't see her fucking ugly face again until after Thanksgiving."_

_Did he really just say that? That shocked me as they were inseparable… Tanya must have done something really wrong for Andrew feeling that way._

"_I know you are mad at her… but it will be alright, you'll see. You guys are best friends. I'm sure it was just a stupid fight."_

_He finally turned his head to me, his piercing green eyes zeroing through me._

"_No it won't Edward… I hate her."_

I wake up with a start, and I'm confused about my surroundings for a second until my eyes land on her beautiful sleeping face. I smile to myself tightening my arms around her, she stirs a little and presses her back closer to my bare chest and I nuzzle the back of her neck, inhaling her amazing scent. I caught a glimpse of her tattoo on her hip as her tank top has riddled up a little and I trace my index finger lightly over it. I loved her tattoo it looked so sexy on her and the meaning behind it made it even better, especially because only me knew about it.

It was me.

I was her sunshine.

I watch over her head to her alarm clock and see that it's a little past eight in the morning it's still a little dark outside so I guess it would be a clouded rainy day. I rest my head back into the pillow and Bella unconsciously pressed herself closer to me. I start caressing her stomach -just because I can- and she lets out a content sigh. I begin a small trail of kisses from her shoulder, passing through the curve of her delicious neck until that soft spot behind her ear. I repeat the motion a couple of times until she hums appreciatively letting me know she's up.

"Mmhmm… that feels nice." She mumbles tightening her hold on my left arm as it's still under her holding her to me.

"Good morning beautiful…" I murmur between kisses "had a pleasant night?"

"Mhmm…" She mumbled still sleepily, then she turns her head a little opening her beautiful chocolate eyes looking for me "but the best part was waking up." She smiled lazily and I lean down to kiss her.

"I love waking up with you." I kiss her cheek.

"I love waking up with you too." She mumbles back, lifting her right hand and threading her fingers through my hair… pulling my face back to hers searching for a kiss on her luscious lips.

I happily obliged.

She sighs when we part to breathe, opening her eyes and looking straight to mine. They are aware, -sleep gone- hopeful and lustful, pulling me inside her soul as if they where black holes in the universe.

And of course, Junior wakes up.

She feels it obviously –pushing hard to her backside- and pulls my face back to hers giving me another meaningful kiss. Her sweet velvety tongue swirling and dancing with mine in perfect synchronization, making everything around us blurry and meaningless, the only thing that mattered right now was us… this moment, lost in our own bubble.

I move myself up a little for a better angle as my hands start to wander around her body. My left hand comes under her tank top, caressing her soft, silk like skin and as if it had a mind of its own finds her right full breast, giving it a leisurely massage as her breathing becomes shallower. She gasps, tightening her hold in my hair when my thumb and index finger start teasing her nipple, but I press myself flush against her, earning a low moan from her against my mouth. I pull apart and my lips go to her long sleek neck, licking and sucking on its long curve while my other hand starts to go lower down her stomach. She squirms a little but doesn't stop me, instead she takes my hand encouragingly… showing me the path and moving us both lower to the hem of her cotton shorts. She lifts her right knee to give me access -as she's still on her side with her back on my chest- and I thrust my hand under her shorts.

"Fuck." I mutter when I realize she didn't have any panties on, remembering just now that she sleeps without any underwear.

I tease her a little, tracing one finger lightly over her wet folds and she arcs her back a little with a moan. My mouth finds her neck again and I bring her earlobe between my teeth, sucking and nibbling the delicious mound of flesh.

"Edward…" She breathes, and hearing her say my name like that made my cock twitch, hardening and pulsing on her back. It required all of my concentration not to just pound erratically and hard on her.

"What?" I whisper hoarsely against her ear.

"Please…" She thrusts against my hand and I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

My fingers start stroking her slowly as a shiver runs through her and I hold her tighter against me, giving her open mouthed kisses and enjoying the taste of her skin on my tongue, her trembles, moans and whimpers spurring me on.

"You are so beautiful…" I whisper as I continue to give her long, slow strokes, teasing her nub with my thumb. "So sexy and wonderful…"

"God…" She gasps when my index finger circles her pooling entrance. "Please Edward…" She grips my hair tighter, it hurt a little but in the most pleasant way, waking something within me as I thrust two fingers inside her hot sex.

"Oh.. yes…" She breathes and my lips search her hot mouth again as I move my fingers in and out of her in slow movements.

My other hand which had been on one of her breast moves to the other one to give the same attention. The movements of my right hands start to pick up and Bella starts thrusting into my hand, I curl my fingers and Bella moans loudly in encouragement. I add pressure to her nub with my thumb and her body vibrates in my hands, her walls tightening on my fingers telling me she's almost there so I add a third one.

"Come for me baby." I say against her lips quickening the pace even more.

"Edward…" She moans a little too loudly and I silence her with my lips again.

We are both panting with shallow breathes, our chests heaving and she rubs her ass on my aching member. Suddenly she turns on the mattress, bringing me atop hers and fisting my hair pulls my face hard towards hers, taking control as I continue with my ministrations under her shorts while her hands roam all over my bare chest and down my torso. I lift her top with my free hand to expose her perfect full breasts and bring one to my mouth, she arcs her back pushing herself on my mouth and I groan at the feeling of her body on mine.

Her right hand lowers down my stomach but anticipating her intention I take it and hold it above her head as I continue pumping my fingers in and out of her, increasing the peace as my mouth teases her breasts, my tongue dancing around the pebbled skin and my lips sucking on her nipples. Her moans become louder, and she frees her hand from my grip, tugging on my hair hard as she forces my lips to go back to hers. She says my name over and over making me wild and Junior begs for some attention and I wish again for the strength for not just taking off my pants and pound into her and fuck her senseless. I know we are not ready for that, and I don't want our first time together after all this years to be a simple fuck. So I fight for control and find pleasure in just giving her this.

"Bella…" I whisper over her lips "Come for me baby."

"Oh god! Edward…" She screams and I feel her walls getting tighter and tighter.

She is close.

I draw circles with my thumb over her nub and curl my fingers once again as I pull them out, only to thrust them back in and repeat the process a couple of times earning more screams from her until she finally reaches her climax. She thrusts her head back exposing her neck and I instantly attack it with my tongue. I continue to stroke my fingers in and out of her, making it last as long as possible until she finally comes down, and slowly I withdraw my fingers from her. I lick them savoring her taste and making her moan when she sees me do it. I lean down and kiss her soundly, thrusting my tongue into her mouth and she moans again when she tastes herself on my mouth.

I continue to kiss her until her breathing finally winds down and I roll us to our sides, with her nestling on my chest.

"That was amazing…" She says lazily, still a little high from her orgasm. "Thank you." She kisses my chest lightly, her hand moving lower down my stomach but I caught her before it could go any lower.

"What are you doing?" I ask and she looks at me confusedly.

"It's you turn." She says.

"No it's not."

"Edward… I can still feel it." She says pressing her hip against my aching cock to prove her point. "Please… let me return the favor." She says batting her eyelashes in that sexy way she does at me, making my decision harder to keep up and I chuckle kissing her forehead.

"It's not about favors and debts… I'm fine. I wanted to give you that."

"Well, I want to give that to you too." She pouts and I suppress a groan at the sight of those lips, imaging them around me.

I shook my head to get rid of those images.

"Sorry baby, it's not nearly as good as Andrew's." I chuckle referring to her lame pout.

She rolls her eyes at me.

"Why can't I return the favor? It's ok Edward, I want to."

"Well, first of all because I really didn't do it with that purpose… and second of all, because I'm certain we'll be having company soon."

And as if on cue there's a light knock on Bella's door.

"Shit!" Bella mutters fixing her hair and top making me laugh out loud.

"Mommy?" We hear Marie on the other side of the door.

"Just a second sweetie!" Bella says as she hops out of bed and throws me a pillow playfully. She goes to her door and unlocks it, opening it to reveal a sleepily looking Marie. Her eyes go wide when she sees me on Bella's bed.

"Daddy!" She runs to me ignoring Bella at the door. "What you doing here?" She asks happily as she jumps into the bed.

"Sleepover." I smile at her and Bella blushes before going into her bathroom, no doubting cleaning herself up a little.

"Did you and mommy watched movies and had candies?" She asks innocently and I laugh out loud. "No honey, we just fell asleep after nana's gala."

"That's a boring sleepover." She furrowed her brows.

"Yeah well, mommy's kinda boring." I tease.

"I heard that!" Bella calls from the bathroom making me and Marie laugh.

When Bella comes out of the bathroom my phone rings, it's a text from dad telling me that they were exchanging brunch for a late afternoon barbecue as everyone was tired from last night and asking if there was a problem with it.

"Who's it." Bella asks as she takes Marie from me and hugs her to her body.

"It's dad, change of plans. Are you opposed to a late afternoon barbecue instead of brunch?" I ask hopefully and she smiles at me.

"Perfect." She says laying back on the pillows and I text dad back confirming our attendance.

* * *

><p>Bella and I made breakfast together, well… Bella did I just passed her the ingredients while the kids played with Sam in the living room. I sat on a barstool and stared at her unashamedly as she danced and moved her hips happily while she chopped and mixed ingredients for omelets. She would catch me staring often and I would wink at her making her blush ten shades of red every time.<p>

I couldn't take it any longer and stood up behind her while she mixed ingredients for Mexican sauce and circled my arms around her kissing the side of her shoulder.

"You are in a good mood today." I stated while nuzzling her neck.

"That's because my _boyfriend_ gave me a fuckawesome orgasm this morning."

I grinned against her skin.

"Well, your boyfriend would like to do that more often… especially if he gets to see you this happy afterwards."

"Tell my boyfriend I wouldn't oppose… especially if he lets me give something in return."

I laughed.

"Oh, don't worry… your boyfriend is already planning the payback." I winked at her, enjoying watching her blush spread all the way down her neck. I pulled back and spanked her playfully making her yelp before going to the fridge to pour us some orange juice. Then my eyes caught sight of the calendar on Bella's fridge, next to Marie and Andrew's star shaped stickers and my stomach fell a little.

"Tomorrow's the 25th?" I asked, even though I had the answer right in front of me and Bella turned to me questioningly, it took her a second to understand my sudden moodiness.

"Yes… I'm sorry." She whispered and I shrugged it off.

"It's Ok, it just took me by surprise… I've had a lot in my head lately."

She pulled herself away from the counter and walked to stand behind me, sneaking her arms around me in a comforting manner and pressing her cheek on my back.

…

…

...

"How long?" She asked softly.

"Fourteen years."

Wow, I couldn't believe it had only been fourteen years since my brother's death. It felt like it had been another life ago.

She moved to the side a little so she could see my face.

"You want me to go with you tomorrow?" She asked with concern in her eyes and I turned in her embrace placing my hands on her hips.

"You don't have to… it will be cold, it's just a quick visit… mostly for mom's sake."

"Edward, it's ok." She said placing her palm on my cheek. "I want to be part of your life too."

"Are you sure? I don't want to burden you with this… you didn't even know him."

"Yes, but all of you keep saying he's a mix of Emmet, our Andrew and you… I feel like I do and even if I didn't he was your brother and in some way I have to thank him… I know how much of an influence he was on you and how his death changed you… making you who you are now."

"Thank you." I say sincerely, truly grateful of having her support.

She shook her head.

"I love you sunshine, I'll go everywhere with you."

After breakfast I changed into my last night's clothes and went to my house to shower and get ready for the barbecue. After taking care of Junior –who had been annoying me since last night-, showering and shaving I put on a pair of jeans, my favorite sneakers and Bella's "pregnancy's" white shirt. Then as I still had a lot of time before I had to pick up Bella and the kids I decided to do a little shopping.

I went to Woolfitt's on Queen St. as I know that was the store Bella liked and got her a few things as a surprise, then decided to stop at Tim Horton's and get us some coffee, timbits and her apple Danish as it would be a while till we had our burgers.

When I went back home Bella opened the door to me with Sam at her feet and smiled when I handed her her coffee.

"Thanks!" She kissed hello me before taking a sip. "I needed my caffeine fix."

"I got you and the kids a snack too." I said giving her the paper bag. She took it and I took of my coat hanging it in the coat closet.

"What's in the bigger bag?" She asked eyeing it curiously.

I took her hand and lead her to the living room. We sat on her big leather couch and I handed her the bag.

"It's a surprise for you." I said.

She curiously looked inside the bag and her eyes watered instantly before taking out a new set of paint brushes and boxes of oil paint tubes.

"Edward?" She asked lifting her eyes to me.

"The canvases are in my trunk."

"What?"

"I want you to paint again… I know I never got to see any of your paintings but I know how much you used to love it… you can adapt the guest's room and make it your secret study if you want…"

"Why are you asking me this?" She asked softly, eyeing the expensive wood brushes and oils.

"Because I know you are still holding a lot of your feelings in… and you need to let it all out… I want you to find a way to express yourself, even if it's just for you." I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear and she reclined her head to my touch.

"What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, thinking the best way on how to say this.

"Last night… your reaction to Tanya's sisters… your scared me. I understand why you'd react that way but… as I said last night you don't have to worry about her, I only wanna be with you." I kissed her forehead as tears fell from her cheeks "I know you are still angry and hurt by what happened, maybe not to me anymore but you have to get all of that out someway… I don't want you to bottle up all your emotions only to explode later." She threw her arms around me and I hold her tight, kissing her tears away and reclining her head on my shoulder.

"You're amazing…" She whispered against my neck.

"I'm here for when you are ready to talk about it, about the birth, about those early days… in the meantime… I want you to find a way to let it all out."

"Thank you, I love it." She said leaning away and taking the set of brushes.

Her eyes, even though they were still fill with tears sparkled at the prospect. She was passionate about it, I remember how she would come out of her study at my house with paint all over her and how her face shined with happiness or any other emotion, depending on her mood and what her new piece was about.

"Daddy!" Andrew and Marie cheered and Bella quickly stood up and flew to the kitchen, probably not wanting the kids to see her cry.

"What's up buddies." I greeted them.

"Where were you?" Marie asked.

"I went to my house to change I didn't have any clean clothes here." I wriggled my eyebrows at her.

"You are wearing mommy's pjs!" Andrew laughed then.

"What?" I asked him and Andrew pointed at my white shirt.

"That's mommy's pajamas!" He laughed again.

"It is?" I smiled widely at him, imagining Bella using this for sleep. She had said she had used it when she was pregnant but I guessed she wasn't being completely honest.

"Why you wearing mommy's pajamas daddy?" Marie smiled at me.

"Well honey… it's kinda comfy." I winked at her.

Around 2 we finally took off to my parent's house, Bella had made my favorite cheesecake and dessert was all I could think about the whole ride. I loved her damn cheesecake and she knew it. Once I parked on my parent's driveway Bella and I unbuckled the kids from their car seats and ran inside as it was cold. As soon as mom and dad opened the door they took Andrew and Marie from us and Bella and I shrugged our coats off.

"How are my favorite grandkids in the world?" Mom asked happily.

"Nana! We are your only grandkids!" Marie laughed and mom gave her messy kisses all over her pink cheeks.

"Well, you still are my favorites! And guess what?"

"What?" They both asked.

"Pops and I have a surprise for you." She whispered yelled "It's in the backyard."

Marie and Andrew instantly flew to the back French doors with all of us following back but before we could reach the doors we heard Marie and Andrew yell and cheer in excitement. When Bella and I finally reached the back deck along with my parents we understood why.

Mom and dad had installed an amazing set of swings, slides and a big playhouse. Marie jumped up and down excitedly, clapping her hands together in a very much Alice-like way. Andrew was already climbing the net to get into the playhouse instead of using the stairs at the other side, always challenging himself.

"Jezus, we are never getting them out of here." I mused, still amazed at the grand set in front of me. Bella's mouth was still hanging open, eyes wide looking incredulous.

"That's the plan honey." Mom winked at me and I laughed, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her cheek.

A few minutes later the rest of the family arrived. The women sat on the garden table on the other side of the grand deck with drinks and a heater next to them while they watched the kids –and Emmett- play on the swings while dad, Jasper and I prepared the barbecue. They asked me about last night, and I told them the cop's version and how it had been just a prank. Even though I still had that bad feeling about the whole thing but didn't say anything as I couldn't even put my finger on what was wrong.

"I remember prank calls, they were the best!" Jasper said smiling fondly at some memories. "When I was on 7th grade me and some friends did it all the time."

"Yeah, well… it wasn't funny. Bella and I got very worried."

"Why? What could have happened? If someone had wanted to break into the house why would they call in advance?" Dad asked as he took a sip of his beer.

I sighed frustrated, that's what didn't click… if it wasn't a prank what would have happened? What would have been the reason behind it? Maybe I was looking into this too much.

"Yeah you're right."

"You always worry too much." Jasper added.

"In a few more months you'll understand." I told him.

He was about to say something back but Alice called him before he could utter a word.

"Jasper! I need juice!"

"Be right back." Jasper muttered before dad and I broke out laughing.

Dad and I stay silent for a few minutes while we worked on the burgers, from the kitchen window I could see Esme and Rosalie fixing drinks and preparing a salad.

"So, how have you been?" Dad asked breaking the silence.

"I'm good, thank you…" I said, racking my brain about something else to say. My relationship with my dad had been very strained since he told me about knowing about my kids.

"How's work?" He asked then.

"Good… I saw Jacob the other day with his mom… she enrolled him at Marie and Andrew's school." Dad smiled at me.

"That's nice, the kid needs normalcy after all that has happened to him."

"Yeah, he's a little shy though… I think him and Marie will get along pretty well." I said remembering how he kept staring at her when we introduced them, now that I was thinking about it… he never took his eyes off of her.

Huh.

"Yes, hopefully a new environment will help him… what about you and Bella? I saw you holding hands last night, are you guys together now?"

"Yes."

"That's good, I'm happy for you."

I nodded.

…

…

…

"Dad… I need to talk to you about something." I said, thinking it now or never.

"What's that?" He said putting his beer down in the small table next to the grill.

"We need to remove Lauren." I said, straight to the point.

"Miss Mallory?" He asked with raised eyebrows. "Why? She is an excellent doctor."

"Yeah, but she is not very professional in other aspects… she's making me uncomfortable and I'd prefer if we remove her."

"Oh…" He said finally understanding "Ok, I'll make the calls tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"Because she had stopped… it was only at the beginning and it was just casual flirting that I ignored it but the other day she kind of overstepped a little so I had enough, I can't handle anymore drama in my life."

"Alright, I'll talk to her tomorrow morning."

I nodded.

When the burgers where ready Mom called everyone inside to join at the table. Andrew had complained saying he wasn't hungry and wanted to go back to his "fort" but Bella wouldn't have it.

"You can play after you eat your burger." She said placing his plate with half a burger, chips and salad in front of him. "Edward, would you please watch he eats it all and not just the chips? Marie wants to go to the bathroom."

"Mom!" Marie cried looking embarrassedly at everyone in the table.

"Sorry sweetie." Bella laughed as she picked her up in her arms.

"Sure." I said, adding some ketchup on Andrew's burger.

"Thanks." She said kissing me softly.

When Bella was gone I watched as Andrew took the lettuce and tomato out of his burger, making yucky faces.

"Mommy said to eat the whole thing." I told him.

"Mommy's not here." He muttered, still mad because we wouldn't let him play until after he finished his meal.

I raised one eyebrow at him.

"Ok, but you are not getting off this table until you finish the whole burger understood?" I said sternly and he nodded. "And you are not getting dessert unless you finish your salad." He needed to eat better.

"Daaad!" He whined with wide green eyes. "But me don't like rabbit food!"

"I'm sorry." I said trying not to laugh.

"But why unc's Em doesn't have a salad?" He said pointing at my brother's plate across from him.

"Oh! You're right! Uncle Em doesn't have a salad!" Rosalie said, she took the big bowl and put some on Emmett's plate. "There you go, eat it all… be a good role model." Rosalie smiled at Emmet evilly who threw daggers at Andrew who started laughing uncontrollably.

"Thanks buddy." Emmett hissed playfully and Andrew started eating his burger happily.

"So Andrew…" Emmett started and I didn't like the glint in his eyes. "Your mommy told us about a certain musical in a few weeks." He said slowly and Andrew blanched, his burger falling into his plate. "I can't wait to see you in your pretty and fluffy little girl sheep costume." He teased and Andrew gasped.

"No! You coming?" He asked in an agonizing strangled voice and everyone laughed.

"Oh yes, we are not missing it for anything in the world!" Emmett laughed and Andrew covered his face with his tiny hands.

"No no no no!" He whinned.

"Payback's a bi-i-ngo." Emmett said and I sighed in relief.

"Nice save." Jasper said.

"What's bingo?"Andrew asked.

But before I could wrack my brain with an answer we heard Bella and Marie come into the dining room.

"I don't know honey… why don't you ask daddy? He's a doctor." Bella said and Marie ran to jumped into my lap.

"What's the matter?" I asked, confused at Bella's face. She was biting her lip hard not to laugh, her eyes full of humor.

"Daddy, can I ask you a question?" She said innocently as Bella sat next to me ignoring my questioning look.

"Of course honey… anything."

"Where do babies come from?"

…

…

…

Oh, god.

…

…

…

There was utter silence before everyone started laughing loudly, Emmet banging the table with his fists and Alice clapping her hands together. I threw daggers at Bella who tried to muffle her laughs by covering her mouth with her hand as mom and dad stared at me in amusement. Andrew and Marie stared at everyone confusedly.

"Babies?" I ask stupidly, trying to remember what story my mom had told me when I was their age.

Something about a bird?

A stork? Or was it a goose?

And seeds?

I think there was a river involved too.

Fuck!

Couldn't we go back to the bingo thing?

"Yes daddy, mommy is not sure and you are a doctor." She shrugged.

What was the fucking story about!

"Uhmm… well honey… uhmm you know… there's this bird…"

"I can't wait to hear this!" Emmet said resting his chin on his hand over the table.

Fucker.

"Uhhu…" Marie said, her beautiful green eyes focusing solely on me.

"That… uhmm carries this seed…" I said pulling at my hair trying to remember the damn story. "Through long distances… you know?"

"This is perfect." Jasper chuckled and an idea came to mind.

"Oh! You know what, princess? I don't really remember, but why don't you ask uncle Jasper? He and Auntie Alice are making one right now!" I said and Jasper looked like the deer caught in the headlights, I smirked at him. This was for all the dirty jokes he had thrown at Bella and me last night after he saw us making out outside the bathroom.

Payback _is_ a bitch.

"Uncle Jasper?" Marie turned to him expectantly "How did you and Auntie Alice made Camille?" She asked innocently and Bella hid her face on my shoulder while Rosalie hid her grin behind her napkin and Emmet shook with suppressed laugher.

"Ehh… uhmm… uhhh" Jasper stuttered as he turned a hundred shades of red, not daring to look at Carlisle in the eye. The best part my dad being an OB/GYN which made everything even more hilarious.

"Babies? You… you asked about babies?" Jasper asked stupidly.

"Yes, uncle Jasper… where do babies come from?" Marie crossed her arms and rolled her eyes exasperatedly.

"Uhmm you know what? Auntie Alice knows better than me… she is the one carrying Camille after all." She turned to Alice who glared at him.

"Thanks!" She hissed at him and turned with a wide fake smile at Marie.

"So, babies right?" Alice asked.

"YES!" Andrew and Marie threw their arms in the air impatiently.

Alice looked at everyone at the tabled asking for help, a mortified expression on her small features. Mom and dad crossed their arms and reclined on their seats watching the show, enjoying how we threw the fireball at each other.

"Well… there's this bird… that carries this seed…"

"Uhhuuuu… daddy already said that."

"Oh, that's right… uhmm well… the SEED! The seed is the baby!"

"But why is Camille on your tummy then?" Marie asked tilting her head to the side.

"Uhm… well, Emmett?" Alice smiled at him "You and Rosalie practiced making babies for years! How did you do it?" She said with mock interest, throwing the ball in his court.

And it was Emmett's time to blanch.

"Well… we uhmm there are a lot of ways you know? Uhmm… places… methods…"

What the fuck?

"Uhhuu…" Marie nodded.

"The bird! The daddy's bird does the main job!" He said then.

"Oh god." I groaned covering my face with my palms.

"What does the bird do?"

"Well Marie, daddies have this little bird… although mine is_ not_ little, that carries this special seed… and puts it into the mommy's tummy."

I seriously wanted to punch him in the face.

"How does the daddy's bird put the seed in the mommy's tummy?"

Fuck.

Emmett grinned wickedly before continuing.

"Well honey, mommy's have this hol-"

"THE BELLY BUTTON!" I shouted cutting him off and everyone turned to me.

"Yes! The belly button!" Alice pointed at me "Belly button belly button!"

"The-birds-put-the-seed-into-the-mommy's-tummy-through-the-belly-button!" I said in one breath and mom smiled proudly at me.

"So uncle Jasper's bird put a seed in Auntie Alice's tummy?" Marie asked.

"Yep, that's what happened." I said trying to suppress the mental images of my baby sister and best friend for the second time in 24 hours.

"So, when you and mommy had me and Andrew your little bird put two seeds in mommy's tummy."

Oh god, please don't do this to me.

"Basically." I said.

"Daddy, where's your little bird?" Andrew asked curiously.

"Daddy's bird is definitely not little." Bella scoffed and we all abruptly turned to see a wide eyed Bella, who as quickly as she spoke covered her mouth with her hand and her face rivaled a bright red tomato.

"Well… you would know that won't you?" Jasper smirked.

I could only smile smugly at my entire family.

After the awkward conversation was over we returned to our meal. Thankfully Marie didn't ask any more questions and she was pleased with our fucked up story. After finishing our burgers, dessert was served and mom thanked Bella for her fuckawesome cheesecake. Then we all moved outside to the grand deck to enjoy the sunset sitting on the big couches. Bella sat next to me and I wrapped an arm around her to keep her warm while she stole sips from my beer once in a while.

"So, thanksgiving is next week!" Alice said cheerfully. "Who did you invite mom?"

Mom casted me a brief weird glance before turning back to Alice.

"A few friends." She smiled "I invited Tyler and Gianna by the way." She said and I smiled at her.

"That's great." I said, knowing Bella liked Gianna and happy at the prospect of seeing Tyler again, we were supposed to go to the game on Tuesday but still… I was happy to see him again so short after.

"Do you need help with anything? I can do desserts." Bella offered.

"Oh no honey, don't worry about it." Esme said firmly "Just make sure to be here at six with my beautiful grandkids." She smiled.

"Alright." Bella chuckled "But if you need anything please call."

"Of course."

Around eight Andrew and Marie started to get cranky so we decided to leave guessing they were tired. When we said our farewells mom pulled me to the side telling me she needed to talk to me. I followed her to the kitchen and she turned to me, guilt all over her face.

"What's the matter?" I asked worriedly "Are you Ok mom?"

"No, I'm fine… it's just that… fuck, I'm sorry honey."

"What's going on?" I asked confusedly.

"Carmen and Eleazar are coming to thanksgiving on Thursday" My eyebrows rose to my hairline "as well as Kate and Irina."

"What?" I asked incredulous.

"I'm sorry… you think Bella would be to upset about it?"

"But… wh-wha-why would you do that."

Why would she invited the fucking Denalis!

"I'm sorry! I wasn't going to invite them I didn't want it to be awkward but they brought the subject last night and they are your dad's and I best friends… they come every year… they thought it was a given they were invited and I couldn't say no."

"Fuck, mom! Couldn't you explain to them."

"I tried honey, but they wanted to meet my grandkids too and… I'm sorry honey. You think Bella's going to be too upset about it?"

"Well, I don't know… yesterday she acted all weird when we ran into Kate and Irina… but that was mostly because it caught her by surprise according to her."

I started pulling at my hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry honey, but if you think about it maybe this will be good for her… she has to face them at some point, the Denali's are family friends, they are Emmett's godparents… this had to happen at some point."

I sighed.

She was right I just didn't expect it to be so soon.

"I'll talk to her." I said.

"Thank you honey, see you tomorrow." She said sadly, referring to our visit to Andrew's tomb.

The kids fell asleep on the ride back home and I broke Bella the news about the Denali's coming on Thursday to thanksgiving. She didn't like it of course but put a brave face on and said it was Ok. I told her we could skip it if she wanted but she said no, that this was bound to happen at some point and to better do it now that later. I dropped them off at home and helped Bella to put the kids to bed, and then she walked me to the door with a small smile on her face.

"I had a great day." She said and I kissed her lips softly. "See you tomorrow?"

"I'll pick you up at noon… you wanna go for a late lunch later?"

"Of course." She smiled at me.

"I love you pretty girl, thank you for a wonderful weekend." I said kissing her again.

"Thank you for breathing." She said making me chuckle "See? I can be cheesy too." She smiled playfully making me want devour those luscious lips.

"I wouldn't have you any other way." I said kissing her one last time. She opened the door for me and I stepped outside on the porch. I looked down the deserted street and a shiver ran down my spine even though there was no wind.

"Bella?" I said turning to her.

"Yes?" She smiled at me.

"Do you lock the door to the second floor at night?"

"Sometimes… why?"

"Would you please remember to do it every night?" I asked and she looked at me strangely.

"Of course… is everything alright?"

"Yes, it's just… I worry about you and I would die if anything happened to any of you."

She smiled sweetly at me and came out the door throwing her arms around my neck.

"We'll be fine." She kissed me again "Don't worry about us, the alarm is on and we have Sam, he's very protective of Marie."

"Ok," I said feeling better. "See you tomorrow, have a good night."

"You too."

I drove back to my house, again with that feeling at the back of my mind that I couldn't get rid of. The kids and Bella are safe, it's a safe neighborhood, the alarm is on and there are a lot of neighbors around in case of an emergency. I took my clothes off once in my bathroom and put my sweatpants on. I started looking for my U of T sweater that I hadn't seen in a while but couldn't find it. I made a mental note to ask the maid for it on Wednesday when she come. I decided to do some writing for the Doctor's Journal as it was still too early for bed so I went into my study. I had been writing for a few minutes when I got distracted by my chirping cell. I immediately smiled when I saw it was a text message from Bella with a picture attached to it. I opened the file and laughed out loud when I saw a picture of Andrew's pants in the dirty laundry basket with tons of lettuce and tomatoes coming out of their pockets.

**-Guess he didn't really eat his salad after all.**

**-B.**

I typed a quick response and resumed to my work but something on my desk caught my eye. I took the old book and opened it to the first page to meet Andrew's and I photo again. I smiled and turned to the next page and the next. Enjoying all the moments my brother captured on his final year before the accident. Suddenly, I came across with an envelope and I remembered it falling from the last page when I had taken the album from my parent's basement. I had thought nothing about it but now… it was thick and sealed. I turned it around and saw my twin's name scribbled in and unfamiliar handwriting. I furrowed my eyebrows and thought for a minute, I didn't want to intrude my brother's privacy but… I couldn't help my curiosity. I ripped the side of the envelope and took what looked like a letter out.

I unfolded the sheets and read what I had in front of me.

…

…

…

_Holy fuck._

* * *

><p><strong>*GASPS*<strong>

**What does that letter says? Any guesses? Let me know!**_**  
><strong>_

**Who do you think is in the damn black mercedes? Tanya? Lauren? Mike?... Rene?**

**So this chapter had a little bit of everything as the last one... Mystery, Romance, Humor... I don't know about you but the story about the stork, the seed and the belly button was what my mom told me when little =S**

**Someone already gave a interesting theory based on the teaser I posted on my blog... by the way if you wanna see Andrew and Marie's swing set they are on my blog!**

**12,000 + words... PLEASE LEAVE ME SOME LOVE!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	28. Chapter 28: Never Say Never

**First of all, I throughly apologize for the two weeks delay but just got back to college and between that and work you know how it gets. I don't know if I told you before but I'm studying film production and I'm working on a short-film right now so that's taking a lot of my time. Plus I sprained my right wrist and typing with only my left hand is a pain in the ass.**

**Also, I'm sorry to inform you that as from now on... I'll be updating every 10 days instead of 7 days... life is being crazy and as important stuff is coming I don't want to rush it, but I promise long chapters!**

**Once again thank you sooo much for your amazing reviews! They mean the world to me! Also, OMC is now on The Writer's Coffee Shop if you want to read it over there although I haven't uploaded all the chapters there.**

**I want to thank Lisopera for pre-reading this chapter and for her support, love and passion for this story. You are one of a kind! Thank you so much.**

**WARNING: This chapter is not beta'ed, my Betta Cattinson has RL too so she could do it and I didn't want to keep you waiting too long, so between Lisopera and I we tried to make it right, but you must know English isn't our first language so there might be a few mistakes still.**

**But, the show must go on!**

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything, although I have the pride of owning Andrew and Marie... I just love those kids!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 28: Never Say Never<p>

"**Never Say Never" – The Fray**

There's some things we don't talk about

rather do without, and just hold the smile

falling in and out of love, ashamed and proud of

together all the while

You can never say never

why we don't know when, time and time again

younger now than we were before

Don´t let me go

don´t let me go

don´t let me go

Picture you´re the queen of everything

as far as the eye can see, under your command

I will be your guardian, when all is crumbling

steady your hand

You can never say never

why we don´t know when time, time and time again

younger now then we were before

…

We're pulling apart, and coming together

again and again

We're growing apart but we pull it together,

pull it together, together again

"Oh god." Dad choked.

"I know… it's unbelievable." I agreed, my mind still in chaos, not wanting to comprehend what was happening.

"Where did you find this?" Dad said aghast, finally tearing his eyes from the old sheets of paper clutched in his still trembling hands and looked at me with troubled eyes.

"Inside Andrew's photo album… it was sealed so I don't think he ever read it." I answered his question.

"What is it?" Mom asked for the tenth time and dad reluctantly handed her the letter. She didn't go too far before she stood from the big couch in my parent's living room, angry tears streaming down her face.

And she just lost it.

"Dear god!" She cried. "Is this real?!"

"I'm sorry mom." I said, quickly standing up and wrapping my arms around her comfort.

After I have read the damn letter for about 50 times and the initial shock have passed, I hurriedly put on a sweater and immediately drove to my parent's house. It was already late, so at first they were on edge, until I calmed them down and told them Bella and the kids were fine but I have something very important to show them. I gave Dad the letter first as I knew he would take the news better than mom, which I was right as she was now a mess in my arms, crying and yelling nonsense…

I sat us back on the couch and I let her ruin my shirt as she cried and a huge knot formed in my throat. Her pain, which mirrored mine was intensified with the knowledge that tomorrow, or should I say today -as it was already past midnight- was Andrew's 14th anniversary. How ironic that we find out about this today of all days.

"THAT BITCH! THAT HEARTLESS BITCH!" Mom screamed again and again "WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINKS SHE IS! HOW COULD SHE!" Mom demanded.

"Shhh… I'm sorry mom, I'm so sorry." I tried to sooth her although the blood rushing through my veins made it hard. I couldn't really concentrate with all kinds of thoughts swirling inside my head.

"Why didn't your brother say anything?! Huh?! Was he scared of us?! We would have supported him!"

"Mom, I think he never got the chance… she acted before he could even do anything…"

I tried to reason with her, although I still couldn't believe Andrew had kept this to himself. I couldn't believe he never said anything to me, we shared each other everything. I knew something was bothering him those days before we left for grandma's. I remembered clearly that day he broke down in our room over something Tanya did, he was so upset he even convinced Dad to leave two days earlier for our grandparent's. But it never crossed my mind it would be something like this, even after reading the letter a bunch of times I still have a hard time believing it.

"Still… he should have said something right away! Oh god, oh god! To think we could have had a little piece of him now! Oh my god… my baby, my Andy! I'm so stupid! How didn't I see what was going on!" Mom sobbed agonizingly in my arms.

I understand mom's pain of course, but I was at a loss to what to do or say to make this better. The situation was so fucked up… and it took us all by surprise. How come Andrew never told me he and Tanya had a thing?! Granted he didn't have feelings for her, I remember him being head over heels in love with Emma, even though after they broke up. I think Tanya must have been a rebound. I remember teasing him once about Tanya having a crush on him, but he had said that they were just friends, but clearly they had been more than friends at some point, and… according to this letter… Andrew wasn't just a friend to Tanya.

I remember him sneaking out of classes with Tanya, they had begun spending even more time together after our birthday, he had stayed until late at night at her house several times, Tanya was always glued to his side. But I thought it was normal for them. They were attached to the hip since toddlers. When did things fucking change!

Dad kneeled in front of us, taking my mom's hands in his searching for her eyes but mom refused to look at anyone. To hurt to think of anything else than her precious Andy and what Tanya did.

"Sweetheart… it's okay, take a breath… it wasn't your fault, he was fifteen… he was a boy… and Tanya was just a year older than him… she must have gotten scared too." Dad tried to reason "It's nobody's fault."

"She _killed_ my dead son's baby," mom hissed lividly and I winced at her for saying the words out loud "how do you fucking expect me to be fucking calm!"

"I know love, but we can't do anything about it now… instead of focusing on that let's focus on what all this _means_." He said meaningful, glancing now at me and I instantly knew what he meant, he didn't have to say it out loud. That was the only thing I've been thinking about since the letter finally sunk in.

Tanya was never obsessed with me.

She was obsessed with Andrew.

And this explained a lot… a fucking lot! It was all so surreal, hard to wrap all around my head as I still have a hard time to even believe the contents of that fucking letter. It felt like in a fucking bad soap opera.

In the letter she apologized to Andrew for what she did, for… getting rid of the baby… and claimed that she loved him… more than her own life. That she only did it because of him, because she feared he would hate her as they were so young. She threatened to kill herself if he ever left her, and that reminded me of the same threats she threw at me years ago when I ended things with her. It was so sick, so fucked up… did she really think I was Andrew? Was she that crazy?

"What do you think about all this?" Dad brought me back to the present.

"I think… I think… fuck! This is so sick…" I said disgusted "but I think this finally explains Tanya's obsession…"

"What are you talking about?" Mom cried.

"Don't you see?" I stared at her bewildered at the same time that all the missing pieces of this fucked up past years started to fall together.

Tanya went crazy exactly a year after Andrew's death… around the same time I left for college when I graduated early from high school. I never saw her again and god only knows what she did all that time, what she fed her mind with… maybe she was in denial… and that's why she started with her bad habits. Then she saw me again that Thanksgiving dinner when she came with her family… she asked me out and you know the rest… she was never obsessed with me… somehow… I was Andrew to her.

God.

"Think about it!" I urged mom "Andrew died, they were at bad terms, she felt guilty about what she did, she loved him and clearly never got over his death, she started drinking and doing drugs… years later, she saw me… his _twin_ and all hell breaks on earth."

Mom gasped when it finally downed on her.

"Oh god… but… why would she tried to kill you that time then? If she claimed to love… _Andrew_?"

"I don't know… it still doesn't make much sense but it's not just about drugs anymore… Tanya is mental, she needs another kind of help. She is in love with a ghost… That's why rehab hasn't worked for her… this goes way deeper. She's obviously guilty about getting rid of Andrew's… _baby_…" I said through gritted teeth as I still have a hard time processing that, "so imagine what his death must have meant to her… She was trying to fix it… using me as a replacement. Remember when she claimed she was pregnant with my baby, although that was impossible?"

Because I never had sex with her the short months we were together.

"Yes, yes… Oh god… I can't believe this, do you think El and Carmen know?" Dad asked mom and she shook her head.

"No, I don't think so… if they had known… they would have helped her then and I'm sure they would have told us… and as Edward said they would have given her the appropriate care." Mom mussed deep in thought "Although if Irina knew… why didn't she helped her? She is a psychologist."

"It's unethical to treat your own family and next of kin". I answered immediately.

"But she could have said something… warned El and Carmen at least." She pressed.

"Maybe she did? Or maybe she tried to talk Tanya into some senses but didn't work out?" Dad suggested.

"Irina was very loyal to Tanya… I guess she made her swore not to tell anyone… they are Denalis, they only care about their reputation… Tanya wouldn't want anyone to know she got knocked up at sixteen and Irina must have supported her. At least she told Andrew about the whole thing, obviously against Tanya's wishes."

"But… when Tanya went crazy why didn't she tell anyone?" Mom insisted.

I thought for a moment… but didn't have any answer. I knew Tanya and Irina haven't been that close since I left for college, I guess I understood why know. Tanya must have resented Irina for telling Andrew about the abortion, making Andrew hate her. That must have been a hell of a fight. Maybe that's why Irina kept silent, trying not to make matters worse for Tanya, as she must have been grieving enough to add her parent's wrath and gossip. They were all about reputation, especially Carmen.

"Damn it! This is so confusing… what's wrong with that family? Why are we even friends with them?!" Mom said frustrated.

Dad chuckled in spite of himself.

"You are saying that because you are mad, but Carmen is your oldest friend and Eleazar is a good man, too soft for a lawyer I'll say."

"Well, their daughter has caused so much grief to my family I feel like killing them for creating such a monster of a daughter. She killed… _my grandson_…" Mom cried again "destroyed Edward's life, humiliated Bella… threatened my family's happiness… ugh!"

"I know mom…" I said trying to regain my temper, I was mad now… mad at Tanya and her sick ways, mad at Irina for keeping this secret to herself for so long, hurt because Andrew did not trust me enough about something as big as this. "but at least now we know why… and we need to talk to uncle El and aunt Carmen… they need to know." I said urgently.

"What about Bella?" Dad asked and I hesitated before answering.

"Of course I'll tell her… I'm afraid of her reaction though."

"Why is that?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know… she feels guilty about tons of things… and this will re-open old wounds… but I know I have to tell her."

"Well, at least we know now that all that woman did was on purpose, she planned it all… she's mental so you are not responsible for what had happened, in fact you are lucky that it was only as far as she got, she's dangerous." Dad stated.

A shiver ran down my spine as I remembered Tanya's eyes when she tried to run me over with her white shiny Audi.

"We'll talk to Carmen and Eleazar when they come to Thanksgiving on Thursday." Dad said firmly then.

"You are still inviting them?!" I shrieked incredulous.

"Son, I think this would be the only chance we'll have to talk to them… they'll be leaving for Quebec on Friday to spend the holidays so now is a necessity… they need to know."

"Can't you meet them sometime during the week?"

They both shook their heads.

"They are leaving for Montreal tomorrow morning… visiting Carmen's Dad at the Retirement House before leaving for Quebec for the holidays." Mom explained.

"Damn it!" I yelled, I was so out of luck.

This would make things even more awkward. I know it was none of their fault for what Tanya did but they are her family… this whole situation was so fucked up! And now I was on edge and paranoid, with all this weird things that have been going on lately and learning about how fucked up Tanya is, just made me even more freaked out.

The phone calls, my missing sweater, the fucking rat and now… The neighbor's Mercedes took the front of my mind for some reason. It suddenly felt out of place… I didn't see it again after brunch two weeks ago until last night when Bella and I went to the gala –at two in the morning- and it had British Columbia plates, not Ontario's which made things even more fucked up! Why would the neighbor's have British Columbia plates instead of Ontario's?

Somehow I had this gut feeling that this was not coincidence, that something was wrong. Maybe it was because I learned how fucked up Tanya is or maybe not, but gut feeling is gut feeling and I learned to trust it the hard way. But if Tanya was still in Vancouver… as in _British Columbia's Vancouver_ –that's what made me more nervous about the Mercedes- then who was behind this, _if_ there was someone behind it, or maybe I have just gone crazy with speculation. I wouldn't be surprised though, this past months had taken a toll on me so I might have gone mad after all.

"Who else is coming?" I asked in a hard voice.

"Well honey," Mom started sheepishly "aside from the Denalis… your god parents are coming too, Aro and Renata are so excited about meeting your kids" Mom smiled tenderly trying to ease my mood "Tyler and Gianna but you already knew that, then there will be Jasper's parents, Jessica and her boyfriend and of course Lee will be here too and that's all."

I scoffed in annoyance.

I thought it was going to be small this year… but 21 fucking people plus the kids wasn't small if you ask me. And I feared it would all overwhelm Bella and the kids, not to mention what all this pressure was doing to me especially with all the things that have happened lately.

"What troubles you son?" Dad inquired, looking at me in that way he did when he studied me for years after Bella left.

I shook my head.

"Nothing, it's just that some things have been strange lately, and with what we learned tonight I don't know what to think anymore. I'm probably just being paranoid though…"

"You are tired, it's been a long weekend." Mom said "Why don't you go home and rest?"

Home? That sounded just fine to me.

* * *

><p>I parked my car next to Bella's SUV on the driveway. I scanned the dark deserted street for anything out of place but of course saw nothing. I stepped out of my car and retrieved my cell from my pocket and typed Bella a text. My body aching for her… I need her presence to calm my nerves.<p>

**Are you up? –E**

Luckily she answered seconds later.

**Maaaybe? What are you up to? –B**

I smiled at her playfulness. Forgetting for a minute about what just happened at my parent's house.

**I miss you –E**

**I miss you too… I'm cold without you :( -B**

A huge fucking smile spread over my face, I went around the house and open the door to the backyard with my spare key. I look up to Bella's balcony and saw a glint of light coming out of her window. I grabbed a couple of pebbles from the ground and threw them at her window making faint noises, feeling like a fucking teenager… so eager, excited and nervous to see her in the middle of the night. A minute later Bella opened the door to her balcony, a cautious look on her beautiful features but smiled widely as soon as she saw me. She recline herself on the balcony and rested her chin on her hand.

"What are you doing." She whisper yelled at me, but I could hear the humor in her voice.

"You said you missed me." I said matter-of-factly and she rolled her eyes.

"I did…" she chuckled "you scared me though."

"I'm sorry…" I winced "did I wake ya?"

"No, couldn't sleep so I was going through some manuscripts but I welcome the distraction. So… are you going to climb up that tree and come into my room or what? I wasn't lying when I said I was cold." She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I laughed.

"You know love, it would be my pleasure but I'm not that young anymore and have two kids I wish to see growing up." I teased.

"Alright," she giggled "I'll be down in a minute."

"I'll be waiting here." I winked.

She nodded and disappeared into her room. I walked up the stairs to the back porch and sat on the swing. I saw Sam come from his spot in the living room to the window next to the swing to greet me, moving his tail happily.

"Hey boy!" I greeted him knocking on the window lightly and he barked. "Shh!" I laughed "Your little masters are asleep buddy!" He barked again and I chuckled.

The light in the kitchen flicked on and I stood up, a minute later Bella opened the back door and threw herself at me playfully, locking her arms around my neck and circling my waist with her legs before kissing me soundly.

"That's what I call a greeting." I chuckled between kisses and she giggled making that lovely sound that I adored.

I walked into the kitchen closed the door with my left feet and sat her on the counter. We continued to kiss passionately for a few minutes, her sweet breath fucking with my mind and rendering me to her. My hands roamed freely on her back while she pulled at my hair and pulled me closer to her with her heels on my ass.

Too soon for my liking she parted for air and I pressed my forehead on her shoulder and breathe her in. I needed that so much as I was still wary and edgy after tonight's events. She caressed the back of my neck and I hummed approvingly as I sucked gently on her long lean neck, then lifted my head to see her in the light of the kitchen, needing to see her properly.

As soon as I saw her I did a double take.

"Is that my U of T sweater?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows and she blushed.

"Uhmm maybe?" She said sheepishly "You left it here the night of the storm."

Oh, that's right! So maybe I _was _being paranoid, but could you really blame me with my past?

"Oh, right… I forgot." I said wanting to slap myself but kissed her nose instead.

"I'm sorry… I'll give it back to you." She blushed harder and I placed a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Don't be silly, keep it. It looks better on you after all." I kissed her lips chastely and she smiled.

"But, it's your favorite sweater." She frowned.

"It was only my favorite cause you used to wear it all the time, so it smelled like you." I confessed and she beamed at me kissing me back.

"Thanks, I missed this sweater." She said giving me another grateful kiss, then leaned away and the smile on her face vanished, a concerned look taking its place.

"What's with the worry face?"

"Worry face?" I chuckled.

"Yes, worry face… you have your worry face on right now." She lifted her hand and lightly pressed her thumb into the middle of my eyebrows. "Your eyebrows are furrowed, your eyes are unfocused and your smile is not full." She listed, sometimes I hated it that she knew me so well.

I sighed.

"There's something I need to tell you," I admitted reluctantly "but can we talk about it tomorrow?"

"You are scaring me." She said disentangling herself from me.

"It's not something bad… but it's serious," I said placing my hands on either side of her hips "I just don't want to talk about it now because it would be a long talk and… I'm exhausted… and have a headache. But I promise I'll tell you about it tomorrow after we visit Andrew."

"Ok, but… nothing is wrong right? We are ok?" She asked insecure and I widened my eyes at the way her thoughts had gone.

"Oh, No! We are perfect… it's not about us, I mean… it concerns us but not in that way… It's more about my brother."

"Which one?"

"Andrew."

She let out a sigh of relief, but her eyes were still wary.

"Bella, we are fine I promise… I love you." I said taking her face in my hands and kissing her forehead "Do I have to tattoo that on your pretty little forehead for you to remember that?"

She chuckled and her eyes finally cleared.

"I'm sorry… Ok, we'll talk tomorrow… and… taking the opportunity," She said suddenly nervous, her eyes down casted as she bit her lip "I need to tell you something too."

I frowned.

"What about?"

"I need… to tell you something… but, I prefer if we talk about it tomorrow too."

"Ok?" I said eyeing her curiously, she kept her eyes out of mine so I lift her chin with my index finger and stared at her. "Are you Ok?"

"I will be." She said cryptically, not helping me with my worry but she immediately shook her glum mood out of her body and plastered a wide smile that didn't reach her eyes on her face.

"So, to what do I owe the honor of your visit at" She checked her watch "three in the morning?" She changed the subject.

I shrugged.

"I missed you… I wanted to see you."

"So you just got out of your house and drove here? What if I wasn't up?" She teased and I smirked playfully and nuzzled her neck.

"I would have sneaked into the house…" I said trailing light kisses along her jaw "and wake you up with kisses, just how you like it if I remember correctly." I teased feeling her bare thighs with my hands as she was wearing her damn shorts again.

"Damn! I should have pretended to be asleep then!" She said with mock annoyance.

"We could try that next time." I winked at her and she beamed at me. "But I wasn't coming from my house, I was at my parents."

"Your parents?" She frowned.

"Tomorrow." I said.

"Tomorrow." She agreed and studied my face carefully. "You do look tired." She said tracing her thumbs under my eyes "Are you Ok?"

"Yes, it has been a long weekend that's all." I tried to calm her but of course she didn't buy it. "I promise… I'm fine."

"Alright, I'll pretend that I believe you this time cause I know you are tired and need to rest." She chastised me and I chuckled.

"Thanks… I'll better go then. It'll be a long day tomorrow." I kiss her lips goodbye but when I pull away she didn't let me go, instead gripping the hem of my sweater pulling me back to her.

"And where do you think you are going?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Uhmm… to my house? To sleep?" I said scratching my head in confusion.

She shook her head.

"You are already here… and I'm still cold… stay?" She pouted hopefully and I kissed her luscious lower lip.

"I was hoping you'll say that." I sighed.

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up to Bella curled up next to me, with her head nestled on my chest. I took a look at her nightstand clock and saw that it was already a little past six. I hugged her closer to me and kissed her hair breathing her in. She stirred a little and I started kissing her face.<p>

"Bella…" I whispered.

"Mmmhmm?" She hummed burying her face on my chest.

"Love, I need to go…"

"No." She pouted with her eyes still closed and I chuckled. I kissed her adorable little pout again.

"Honey, I need to go… I have to stop at my house to change before going to work."

She finally opened her eyes and looked at me with sleepy eyes.

"Fine." She grumbled but made no attempt to move, shutting her eyes close again and holding me tighter.

I chuckled quietly.

I hugged her tighter and rolled us over so I could free myself from her grip –Ross' hug and roll style- she protested but I silenced her with my lips before getting off from the bed.

"I'll pick you up at noon, Ok?" I whispered against her ear leaning over her.

"Sure." She said more asleep than awake as she hugged the pillow I have slept in against her chest.

"I love you." I whispered clearing some strands of her hair away from her beautiful face.

"I … too" She mumbled.

I placed one last kiss on her forehead and head out of the room and stop by each of the kids' room to check on them before leaving. Andrew was by the foot of his bed, lying on his stomach with his butt sticking up in the air sleeping soundly, I suppressed my laugh and moved him back to the middle of the bed so he wouldn't fall and kissed his cheek before heading to Marie's room. As soon as I step into her room, Sam popped his head from Marie's back on alert but didn't bark or anything when he realized it was me so he just laid back down. I petted him before leaning down and kiss Marie's forehead. After that I finally dragged my ass out of home.

I closed the door behind me and follow the path to the driveway where my car was parked. But when I was about to open the door I saw the neighbor getting out of his house for -judging by his attire- his morning run. The Mercedes wasn't parked in front of his house again, and I decided to follow my gut against my better judgment this time. I know I was probably just being paranoid but I couldn't help to worry. I crossed the street and he lifted his head, I waved at the old man and he took off his earplugs, guessing I wanted to speak to him.

"Good morning Mr. Barker."

"Good morning Mr. Cullen, what a surprise to see you here so early?" He greeted me with a smile, his wrinkles accentuated with the action.

"Yes," I said avoiding his question, not wanting to explain my private life to Bella's neighbor. "Sorry to bother you, but… I'm sorry if I'm being noisy or anything but did you and Mrs. Barker got a new car? A Mercedes?"

Mr. Barker started laughing.

"I'm afraid not Mr. Cullen, I'm retired… and have had my beloved truck for almost twenty years now, not changing that thing for anything, no matter what my wife says." He grumbled the last part.

"So, you didn't get a Mercedes then?" I asked confused… and that uneasy feeling intensified instantly.

I was missing something.

"No."

"And do you know someone who might have visited you who has one?" I inquired serious now.

"No, I don't think so…" He mused trying to remember "May I know why you are asking me this?"

"Oh sorry, yeah… It's just that lately I've seen this black Mercedes parked in front of your house… I don't know I might be paranoid but it made me nervous… you know, my kids and girlfriend live there." I pointed towards the house and he gave me an understanding look before his eyes lighted with something.

"Oh! I think I know what you are talking about… my wife told me about a car she once saw parked in front of our house one day… she came out to see who it was… she told me it was a lady… but as soon as my wife approached she took off. But I wouldn't worry if I were you, we haven't seen her again since that time."

"A lady?" I asked in a shaky voice, my eyes widening a little as my heart stopped beating "How was she?"

Please don't say strawberry blonde, please don't say strawberry blonde. I chanted to myself.

"She was young… brown wavy hair according to my wife… she was wearing sunglasses… and… that's all. It was hard to see as the window glasses were tinted."

Brown wavy hair.

Lauren.

"Mr. Barker… here is my card," I said taking out my wallet and handing him my card with the St. Andrew's logo on it "please if you see the car again could you give me a call?" I asked.

"Of course Mr. Cullen… but, is there something we should worry about."

"I don't know yet." I said in a hard voice.

I stepped into the clinic and immediately went to the doctor's lounge looking for Lauren but only Gabrielle and Mary –the other nurses were there- along with Dr. Stanley.

"Lee, have you seen Miss Mallory?" I asked.

"No, I think she asked your dad for the weekend off… I'm not sure she is coming in today."

What?

"The weekend off? Why?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know, I think her mom got sick or something and she went back to Ottawa."

"Ottawa?" I asked with a strange voice.

"Yes… Lauren is from Ottawa, remember? What's going on?" He asked and I shook my head.

"Nothing, please let me know when she's here."

"Ok…" He said staring at me weirdly.

I went back to the hallway more confused than ever.

Was Lauren really in Ottawa? But, I saw the car when Bella and I came back from the gala. Did she lie? Then, there was the phone calls… the number was from Ottawa… did she call from there? But, if she did… who was on the damn Mercedes!

Then, something struck my mind. The police said the code area was from Ottawa, but that that didn't mean they were calling from Ottawa.

"Heidi…" I called as I reached the reception "What's Lauren's cell phone number?" I asked urgently.

Heidi handed me the clinic's phone book and sure enough, Lauren never changed her number, the area code was still from Ottawa.

"At what time is Lauren coming in?" I asked Heidi impatiently, I needed to have a serious talk with Lauren.

ASAP.

"Oh, she will not be coming in today… her mother got worse… she already reached stage four so she had to stay another day… poor Lauren she was devastated… she says she won't make it another month."

My brows furrowed in confusion.

What the fuck?

Was her mother really sick then? Or was it just an act?

Was I being paranoid again?

There was just one way to find out.

"When did she leave for Ottawa?"

"Friday after her shift." Heidi answered.

"Do you know at what hospital is her mom admitted?"

"At the Riverside, one of your father's colleagues is treating her actually, Dr. Anderson."

"So she _is_ sick?" I asked incredulous.

"Yes," Heidi looked at me strangely "I personally gave her the news of her mom's relapse when her father called here looking for her on Friday. She left immediately… What's wrong Edward?" She asked in her motherly tone.

I shook my head.

"Nothing, please let me know when Lauren's back… I need to talk to her."

"Will do." She nodded.

"One more thing… What car does Lauren drives?"

"She doesn't have a car, she uses the subway."

"Thanks Heidi." I said as I turned back to my office.

So Lauren wasn't really here on the weekend… and apparently doesn't own a Mercedes but there were still the phone calls, were those related to the fucking Mercedes or was it just a coincidence? Was the Mercedes even a threat? Who else do I know that own a freaking Mercedes?

I stepped into my office more confused than ever and sat on my desk. I stared at my favorite picture of Bella and I, the one Alice took on thanksgiving 5 years ago.

Nothing made sense… why would Bella be stalked? Where did the freaking rat came from? Who would be crazy enough to do that? Who _has_ a reason?

I started tapping my fingers over my hardwood desk, thinking… then my old scars on my knuckles caught my attention. The ones I got when I crashed the vases against the wall that fateful morning.

Could it be?

Slowly, I picked up the phone with a shaky hand and dialed the number I knew by heart now. If she was out, things could get ugly. It rang twice before the familiar voice answered.

"Sunshine Coast Health Centre, Miss Carson here how may I help you." She said in a bored tone.

"Miss Carson? Hello, good morning this is Edward Cullen."

"Oh! Mr. Cullen, didn't recognize you… how may I help you?" She asked politely even though she knew why I was calling.

"I'm sorry to bother you again Miss Carson, but I'm calling to see if you have news from Miss Denali?"

"I'm sorry , but Miss Denali is still under treatment… it will be a while before she can interact with the outside world again." She said sadly.

"And doesn't she have breaks? Like weekends out or something? Can't her family contact her?"

"No, she can't leave the centre… and she can't talk to her family either although even if she could she wouldn't. They never call, only her father had called twice to see how she is faring since she was admitted but only talked to her therapist."

I sighed, rubbing my eyelids with my knuckles.

Was I seeing things then?

"I understand… thank you for your patience." I said defeated and feeling very tired suddenly.

"It's my pleasure Mr. Cullen, I'll call you if anything comes up."

"Thank you."

"Goodbye Mr. Cullen."

"Goodbye Victoria."

And with that I hang up with a heavy sigh.

* * *

><p>It was a quarter to noon when I parked in Bella's driveway, I was a little early but traffic have been light which was rare for a Monday on rush hour. I noticed a white sedan parked on the street in front of the house and I frowned.<p>

Who would that be?

I used my spare key and entered the house, I heard faint voices coming from the kitchen so I headed there.

"Bella?" I called, making my presence known.

"In here!" She said and I heard giggles.

I came into the kitchen to find Bella standing at the island with Gianna sitting across from her sipping coffee. That caught me off guard, but was pleased nonetheless.

"Gianna, what a surprise!" I greeted her.

"Hi Edward, it's nice to see you."

"Gianna called after I left the kids at school, and we decided to meet for coffee." Bella smiled at me as I kissed her cheek.

"That's great, sorry for interrupting you then."

"It's Ok, I was leaving anyway… I'm meeting Tyler for lunch." Gianna said with her thick accent. "I just wanted to say hi, being new and alone in the city it's not as exciting anymore… gets boring after a while." She smiled.

"It was nice of you to call, see you at Thanksgiving." Bella said as we walked Gianna to the door.

"And tell Tyler I say hi." I said then.

"Aren't you seeing him tomorrow?" Gianna asked.

"Tomorrow?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Yes, he hasn't stopped talking about some game you and the guys are going together to." She turned on the threshold.

"Oh! Yeah, fuck… thank you for reminding me." I smacked my palm on my forehead. I completely forgot about the game.

She chuckled.

"It's alright, I won't tell." She winked "See you later Bella, thanks for the coffee!" She said walking towards her sedan.

"Buh-bye!" Bella smiled at her and closed the door.

"So, you ready to go?" I asked her a soon as she turned to me.

"You are going out tomorrow?" She asked instead.

"What?" I asked, confused by her change of topic.

"What Gianna said… Where are you going?" she asked frowning.

"Tyler signed some Drwyer player with the Leafs so he got us season tickets… we are going to the game tomorrow. Why?"

"Oh, no nothing... just asking, who else is going?" She asked stepping away to put her coat on, all the while evading my questioning eyes.

"It's just the guys and me." I answered slowly as I pulled her hair out of her coat.

"A guys night out." She stated and I nodded. "Are you just going to the game?"

"Well… I don't know the exact plans but I guess they'll want to go to a bar or something afterwards."

"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" She asked buttoning her coat.

"Tell you?"

"Yes, when did Tyler invite you?"

"At the Gala."

"The gala?" She gasped turning to me "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know I have to ask permission?" I asked bewildered and she glared at me. Everything that have been happening and what I found out last night taking its toll on me as I was a little cranky now. "What's with all the questioning?" I spat making her flinch and I immediately regretted it.

"You don't have to ask permission, I'm not your mother… you know the kids wait for you every night, it would have been nice to know you weren't coming tomorrow so they wouldn't have to wait for you." She said opening the front door a little too harshly but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back inside pinning her against the door. She turned to me with wide eyes.

"What's the matter with you?! It's just Tyler, Emmet, Jasper and me going to the ACC to watch a _stupid_ game… I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I really forgot… I'll talk to the kids tonight." I said annoyed.

"Don't talk to me like that! I was just asking for the sake of the kids, you are free to do as you please." She spat back and moved out of my arms opening the door again and walking outside towards my car.

Damn it!

"Bella wait!"

She didn't listen, instead she hopped into the passenger's seat. Fuck! This was the last thing I needed. I locked the front door and walked to my car and sat on the driver's seat, I closed the door and turned to her.

"I'm sorry." I said, not turning the car on yet.

"Let's go Edward." She whispered.

Fuck!

"Bella, I'm sorry I yelled at you like that…" I tried again "I haven't been sleeping well… and I've been having a lot on my mind lately."

She didn't say anything.

Dammit, she was upset.

Great Edward, good job.

"Bella… please talk to me? What's bothering you?" I pleaded.

"Nothing… let's go I don't want us to be late."

"No until we talk about it." I went to reach for her hand but she crossed her arms around her stomach and I sighed. "Bella, c'mon pretty girl." She attempted to get out of the car but I quickly put the children's lock on and she glared at me.

"We are not leaving until you tell me what's bothering you. Is this really about the kids or is this about me not spending time with you tomorrow? Honey, it has been a long time since I last saw my friends…"

"That's not it." She said looking ahead and then it dawned on me.

"Bella… look at me." When she did I continued "You trust me right? I'm not going out to party… just a game and probably a couple of beers afterwards."

"Your bachelor party was supposed to be a couple of beers too." She deadpanned and I gaped at her, hurt by her words.

"Bella… I… I'm confused," I stammered "I thought you trusted me? I mean… that day at the park you said… I've done everyth-"

"It's not you I don't trust, of course I trust you…" She turned to me with watered eyes "it's the world I don't trust."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know… good things never happen to me… I'm afraid one day it's going to be enough and something or someone would take you away from us… I don't want to be disappointed again."

I unfastened her seatbelt, pulled her onto my lap over the console and kissed her deeply.

"Nothing and no one is ever going to take me away from you, _I love you_." I said drying the few tears that had fallen over her cheeks with my thumbs. "Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?"

"You loved me five years ago too and look at what happened?" She whimpered against my lips and I pulled away.

"Well, five years ago there was psycho loose on the streets. Now she is locked up and very far away."

"Still… sometimes I'm afraid I'll lose you again." She confessed and my heart instantly broke.

"What happen to dancing in the rain and living the now? Don't think about the things you can't control… just enjoy this, us being together now… you are only allow to think about us, about how much I love you… about how every time I do this" I kissed her jaw "or this" her temple "or this" her lips "I fall even more in love with you… Bella, you have this pull on me I can't even start to explain… I have this need of you I don't see how I'll ever be able to leave you… don't worry your pretty little head about it. You are it for me… I told you this the night after the gala." I frowned at her.

"I'm sorry, it's just that it's hard not to think about the future… even you painted this beautiful scenery yourself… when you talked about marriage and kids that night, it's hard not to see the other side too."

"That's different."

"How so?"

I laced my fingers with hers and rested our palms on her thigh, I stared at them and the bracelet I gave her the night of the gala while I searched for words. I started tracing my fingers over her ring finger, imagining her ring that I still have on my nightstand on her finger. I still remember how the tiny diamonds around the band glistened against her skin and how the sapphires and bigger diamond at the top shinned on the light when she wore it five years ago. It looked so beautiful on her delicate hand.

"Isabella… what happened wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't have… things weren't supposed to be this way. There's a reason why after everything that happened between us… we still got here, to this moment. I told you before that I believe we were meant for each other… that we are destined. What were the chances of you getting a scholarship in another country? Of me running into you _twice_, and spilling your beverage all on you both times?" She smiled a little at the memory and I took that as my cue to continue.

"Your favorite artist was my mother without you even knowing… you loved going to her galleries, it was only a matter of time till I met you. But no, I found you first. Then, I lost you and the first time I left Toronto after that morning… I found you again. I have been invited to tons of conventions but I choose that one, the one in Ottawa… what were the odds? Then, what were the chances of you even getting knocked up, especially while we were protected? None… but somehow someone or something is always pulling us together, none of this was coincidence… call it fate, call it destiny we _will_ end up together. I know you are not ready… but believe me I'm dying to put your ring back on your finger… as it was supposed to be. I'm just waiting for you-"

"You still have it?" She asked with wide eyes and I nodded, not wanting to elaborate on all the things I still have of her, she would think I was nuts if she knew about her stuff never been moved.

"I do, ready to force upon you at the first sign of weakness." I teased lightly "It's yours and only you are going to wear it if you ever decide to do it." I said firmly then.

"God, I can't believe you kept it." She said still awed and I looked down.

"I wouldn't dare to get rid of it."

Of anything.

* * *

><p>We arrived at the cemetery barely on time, all my family but Jasper was already there. Alice said he couldn't come as he has an important meeting with some people over the movie he was making with Disney and couldn't postpone it.<p>

Dad was serious, well he was always serious but there was something else today, there was a shadow on his face that even though he was expressionless you could feel the pain he was suffering now. Mom was even worse, staring into space… it was a freaky thing to look at but of course I understand.

Andrew's anniversaries were always hard on all of us, especially to my parents. Dad suffered because of the blame he had thrown over himself for years for losing control on the road that day, and for mom because there's just nothing worse than losing a son. When you lose your parent's you are an orphan, when you lose your partner you are a widowed but… what are you when you lose your son? Or your daughter?

There's no description, just pain.

But today, it was harder… harder because of one stupid letter. How can a single letter bring all this pain? It's as if by reliving Andrew's last days… trying to remember anything that could have gave him out, something that we had missed and now was so obvious… we were reminded of who we lost. A brother, a son… a friend. We remembered all those moments we had with him, his joy and laugher.

I dreamt of him last night again… but this time it wasn't a memory, or maybe it was but it didn't matter. We were ten, we were running in the forest near grandma's house in Montreal. He was chasing me with a stick and I held a pan as a shield. It was a bittersweet moment.

Damn it Andrew… when did you play to be a grown up?

Why didn't you tell me about Tanya? Things would have been so much different.

We prayed and the priest said a few words in comfort. Bella stood quietly next to me and I hold onto her for support. Emmet held mom in an embrace as she cried and ruined his shirt. I could see Alice eyeing her worriedly and by her expression she knew something was up. It had been years since mom cried like this over Andrew and I knew exactly what triggered it. She glanced at me questioningly but I shook my head, now wasn't the time to break this news, although I could feel the letter on the inner pocket of my jacket getting heavier and heavier.

I didn't even know if my parents wanted to tell them.

As the priest said the last words I felt Bella recline her head on my shoulder and I caressed her arm, warming her with the friction as it was freezing here. When the priest was done everyone took turns to say a few words. Mom and Alice put fresh flowers on the vases and Emmet and I cleaned the tomb from dead leafs, barks and the like.

Every year after coming here we would go to have lunch together and remember Andrew, trying to guess what he'll do or say if he was alive… but not this year. Mom said she was tired and needed to rest so dad took her back to the house which was fine by me since I had made plans with Bella to go for lunch together.

Mom and dad left while Alice, Emmet, Rose, Bella and I stayed for a little longer. Suddenly Bella's phone vibrated on her purse. She gave an apologetic glance and walked away to answer her phone, when she was away Alice came to stand next to me.

"What was up with mom and dad?" She asked with concern but the look in her eyes told me she wanted a straight answer, no bullshit.

There wasn't a point trying to deceive Alice, the little freak was psychic or something, she knew everything. But I still tried to ease my way out of it, I didn't want to upset her on her state.

"Nothing is wrong with them… but… I-"

I stopped talking when something in the distance caught my eye behind Alice.

"Don't move… keep an eye on Bella." I said firmly.

I turned and went behind a tall fence out of sight from the black Mercedes. Slowly, I made my way to the curve where it was parked from the side, careful to not give myself away. It had the same British Columbia plates but couldn't see the number from this distance and position. I tried to focus on the driver but the windows where too dark I couldn't see anything. I changed courses and tried to go nearer from another angle without being seen but just when I was getting closer the car came to life and accelerated flying down the gravelled path. Leaving a few marks on the ground but when the clouds parted and the sun came into view, I caught a glimpse of brown wavy hair.

I couldn't see who it was…

But, I knew it wasn't Lauren… or Tanya for that matter.

And still, a chill run down my body.

"What's going on Edward?" I heard Emmet ask. I turned around and saw him jog to my side.

"I think Bella is being stalked." I answered and Emmet's eyebrows touched his hair line.

"Why would you say that?"

I started to tell him a short version of everything that have happened and by the look on his face I knew I wasn't just being paranoid. Something was wrong, there were too many coincidences.

"But, if it's not Tanya or Lauren… who would it be?"

"I don't know Emmet, but I'm going to find out."

"Does Bella know?"

"No, I don't think she noticed… yet."

"You have to tell her."

"I know… but I don't want to scare her unnecessarily, the driver saw me so I hope whoever it is gets it that she got caught and stops. Besides Bella is already trying to handle Thanksgiving on Thursday and after I tell her about Andrew's letter to-"

"What? What letter? What are you talking about?" He interrupted me and I cursed. Fuck, I slipped.

Well, he was going to find out at some point anyway.

"Just don't make a scene and keep your mouth shut for now… Alice is pregnant and I don't want to upset her and I want to be the one to tell Bella."

He nodded and I retrieve the letter from my inner pocket and handed it to him. He took it warily and started reading it. I didn't know what to expect of him, but sure I wasn't expecting this. His eyes became hard, cold and threatening. His breathing labored… he was livid but in a calm way that made it somehow scarier.

When he was done he folded the letter and placed it back into the envelope and gave it back to me. He didn't say anything at first, just stared at Rosalie who was talking with Alice on a bench. I looked for Bella but she was still on the phone.

Who was she talking to by the way?

"What do you think?" I finally broke the silence but it still took him a whole minute to answer.

"I want to strangle that woman… seriously Edward, this is too much. Is this why mom was so upset today?"

I nodded.

"I found the letter on one of Andrew's album last night, I immediately went to them."

"I can't believe she did that… if she didn't want the baby there were tons of other options… she could have given it to us… to mom and dad or adoption I don't know! I mean, here Rose and I are in an endless list to get a baby and she just… ugh! Why are people like her allowed to breathe?! Why someone like Andrew is taken away while she remains here in this planet, wasting space and air… throwing her life away!" He said exasperatedly and I saw Rose and Alice look in our direction.

"I know Emmet, I feel just the same. But please keep your voice low… I really don't want Alice to know yet, she is sensitive and stress won't do good for her or the baby." I urged.

"Yeah, I'm sorry… but can you really expect me to be calm after you throw something like this to me?"

"I know, I'm sorry." I saw Bella hung up and look around for me so I waved at her. "Listen bro, I gotta go… please calm and don't tell Alice anything, she already suspects something is up so try your best. If you want to tell Rose that's ok but make sure Alice doesn't hear you, got it?"

"You have my word."

We walked back to the women, and Alice kept her eyes on me. I avoided her questioning eyes and took Bella's hand instead.

"Ready to go?" I asked kissing her head.

"Yes, sorry about that." She said waving her phone in the air.

"Who was it?" I asked curiously, it was a long conversation.

"Mike."

"Mike?" Emmet asked.

"My boss." Bella explained.

"What did _Michael_ want?" I asked, feigning nonchalance but if I was being honest it really bothered me. Why would she call her on Monday morning? She worked from home and he had already sent her the new manuscripts.

"He wanted to meet me for lunch, but I told him I already have plans." She turned to me.

"Why did he want to meet you?" I asked a little annoyed, I know I was being childish he was her boss but I didn't like the way he eyed her when we met a few weeks ago. She raised her right eyebrow at me but I remind unfazed.

"He is my boss, he wanted to go over something with me."

"Couldn't he meet you at his office?"

"It was just lunch and I already told him no, that I have plans with _you_. What's your problem?" I felt rather that saw my siblings walk away, giving us some space.

"Well, I don't like him… I didn't like the way he was staring at you when we met." I said honestly and she rolled her eyes.

"I don't like Lauren either and I don't say anything because I know she's a co-worker and I trust you. You should do the same, Mike is my boss and our relationship is strictly professional."

"I still don't like him." I said stubbornly.

"You don't have to like him, you don't even have to see him again so stop it. What's the matter with you? You have been cranky since this morning. You were the one who gave me the speech about trust this morning." She said and I closed my eyes taking a breath.

"I'm sorry…"

"What's going on?" She asked worriedly.

I looked around, having an odd feeling of being watched.

"Let's go."

Bella and I walked into Café Crepe thirty minutes later and sat on a table for two. We placed our order and waited for the waitress to bring us our drinks before we talked, as we had yet to do it since we left the cemetery.

"Tell me… is this about what you told me yesterday?" Bella broke the silence, straight to the point and I nodded. Better to just get on with this as there was no an easy way to do it.

"Remember the album we found on my parent's basement two weeks ago?"

"Yes…"

"Well, I found this…" I brought the letter out from my jacket pocket "It's a letter addressed to Andrew… from Tanya… just a few day before his death." I said slowly placing the letter on top of the table. She eyed it as if it was going to come to life and bit her.

…

…

…

"Would you prefer me to read it to you out loud?" I asked when she didn't move.

She shook her head.

"No, it's just that… I was wondering what this has anything to do with us?" She asked frowning and I grimaced.

"Well, not directly but… once you read it you'll understand."

She took the letter and toyed with it a little in her hands before she finally opened the envelope taking it out. She started reading it with an impassive expression, but once she read further, her face turned first into shock and then disbelief.

"God." She gasped.

"I know." Was all I could say.

"But… wasn't Andrew just fifteen?" She asked aghast.

"Tanya is a year older than us, but age doesn't really matter… they were teenagers, hormones must have gotten the best of them." I joked halfheartedly.

"And… no one knew?"

"As far as we know only Irina…"

"God, this must have killed Esme." She mused going through the letter again.

"She didn't take it very well… but it could have been worse." I said and she remained quiet, her eyes glued to the letter.

…

…

…

"Bella… please tell me what you are thinking." I begged.

…

…

…

"I think… this is crazy." She sighed.

"But, do you understand what this means?"

She lifted her head from the letter and look at me intensely, her eyes instantly watering.

"I do."

We stared at each other for endless minutes, her painful eyes boring into mine. This was one of those moments when I wished I have the ability to read her mind. To know exactly what was going through her head, to know what to do or say to her. While Bella and I continue with our staring contest, the waitress placed our plates in front of us but we didn't acknowledge her or the food.

"How do you feel about this?" I asked once the waitress left and she closed her eyes breaking our connection.

"I feel… I'm mad… and hurt and confused." She breathed and I took her hand that was lying over the table in mine.

"Why are you mad?" I asked even though I have an idea but I just wanted her to get it all out. I knew she kept her thoughts and emotions to herself most of the time but I wasn't going to let her do that this time. I needed to know how she felt.

"I'm not sure… I mean… god." She cried.

"Pretty girl… talk to me please, what are you feeling?" I said, lightly squishing her hand.

"I'm mad! Just mad… all we've been through… all our kids had to suffer because of what that woman did… because of her sick obsession with a ghost… with someone she couldn't have. She broke us, our home… our trust, she stole our kids happiness and security because she felt guilty… She… she took _you_… from _us_" She started sobbing "because she wanted to fill her own emptiness… something she did to herself!"

I move my chair to sit next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Shhh… I love you, it's Ok…"

"No Edward! It's so not Ok!" She cried.

"It will be, we finally understand why she did it, so now… we can move on… and leave Tanya in the past for real."

"No it won't! Edward… Andrew's dead and Tanya is obsessed with him, how do we know she won't try anything again when she gets out, think about the kids! Tanya is not just an addict, she is crazy… she thinks you are her first love how do you think she is going to react when she finds out I'm back!"

"But she won't come back, Mom and Dad will talk to El and Carmen on Thursday… explain them the situation so Tanya can get the proper help. That's why rehab hasn't worked for her, you said so yourself. She is not just an addict she is mental, and I would never let her get that close to you… I can get a restraining order if you want."

"And what am I supposed to do with a piece of paper if she points me with a gun or something? She tried to run you over once, so that possibility is not too far fetch."

I felt as if someone had thrown an ice cold bucket of water all over me.

"Bella, Tanya is being monitored 24/7 in Vancouver… on the other side of the country, I talked to her nurse today… she won't be out in a while and she will call me when she does. We'll be prepared then but I don't think it'll get that far, once my parents talk to the Denalis I'm sure El will do his best to get Tanya the proper care."

"Edward, please promise me she won't come near the kids… Marie is too sensitive, if Tanya says or does the wrong thing at the wrong time… I don't want her to go into another attack." She cried.

"I swear… but I'll make the calls later today to increase security at home… install cameras and anything else it has to be done, just in case."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine," I said playing with a lock of her hair "don't worry about me… you and the kids are what matter here. Besides, this is just a precaution… I'm sure El will have her admitted in an asylum as soon as dad talks to him with a proper therapist."

"I hope so… I'll hate it if she does something to you. I couldn't bear it." She confessed and I smiled at her, moved by her concern of me. "Or the kids… if she eve-"

"You and those two munchkins you have at school right now are my life, I'll put myself between a bullet and you if it comes down to it… so don't worry about them."

"Not if I beat you to it, I'm serious Edward… please be careful, how long has she been admitted in Vancouver? Do you have any idea when she'll come out?"

"She was admitted back in August… so that'll be three months and a half. I know she should be out by now but according to the nurse the doctors didn't think she was ready to face the world on her own… something about relapses and bad behavior on her part."

"You know… even though I hate her… I still feel bad for her. I've heard of young girls falling into depression after an abortion, feeling guilty and ashamed you know? But to add that to the loss of someone you love?" She shook her head "No wonder she went crazy."

"I know… she should have gotten the proper care, I still can't believe Irina didn't help her… but let's change the subject, I don't want to talk about Tanya anymore… your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yes, last night you told me you wanted to talk to me about something… what was it?"

"Oh… yeah, uhmm is not important…"

"Bella…" I pressed "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"It's about Marie…" she said then, but I had the feeling she was lying.

"What about her?"

"Miss Kelly told me Marie should be in an advanced group… pre-school is not enough for her, she gets bored just coloring and playing… she is ready for more than that. She can already read a few words and write hers and our first names."

I smiled, remembering how I learned to write my own full name in pre-school too.

My little pretty Einstein.

"We can talk about it… but, I don't want her to miss her first years either, especially because of how shy she is… she might get nervous around older kids and that won't help her social skills, I want her to play too… she is almost four, still too young to immerse herself in school."

"I thought the same thing, but… she is not getting along with kids her own age either… so maybe this will distract her and she won't feel that out casted? She might feel good and proud of herself too."

I sighed, thinking about it.

"I don't know… I was advanced in my classes too, I wasn't shy like Marie but I was treated differently, I was the nerdy type so it was hard to socialize… I don't want that to happen to her. Maybe we can talk about it with Patricia? Maybe she can guide us through this."

"Yes, we could do that… speaking of which, we have to hurry… the kids are out of school in an hour."

"I'll drive you." I offered.

"No thank you, it'll be faster by subway at this hour and I don't want you to be late for work, and the campus is just a few blocks away from the house… don't worry about it."

"Alright, I'll be home by eight to see them… is that Ok?" She rolled her eyes.

"You can come and see them at anytime, you know that."

"I know, I just wanted to make sure… after this morning I didn't know if you were still mad about the game." I said looking down, ashamed for reacting that way. Playing with her fingers on my lap.

"I'm not mad, and even if I was they are your kids too. You can see them anytime you want, I won't step in between them and you. They lived without you long enough." It was her time to look down.

I kissed her temple and made her face me.

"Stop berating yourself for that… if I forgive you why won't you forgive yourself?"

"Because I was selfish, and I would never forgive myself for hurting you like that… especially after what I learned today. You didn't deserve it." She whimpered.

I knew this would happen.

"Bella, even if Tanya had planned it all, what happened still hurt you… I told you I understand why you did that and I still feel responsible for being so naïve. Stop thinking about what happened, I showed you this letter not to justify myself… I did it because I wanted you to know about it… we vowed to be honest with each other and this also concerned you… you needed to know why Tanya did what she did too. She hurt you too."

She looked down and looked… uncomfortable?

"Thank you for telling me… for trusting me with something this important. Who else knows about it?"

"Just Emmet and my parents… I don't want Alice to know yet with her state, so please if she asks what's going on don't tell her anything. I know she already suspects something is up."

"Of course, you have my word."

I studied her face for a long minute, I knew her more like I knew myself and she was hiding something. I knew it.

"Bella… what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing… why do you ask?"

"You have guilt written all over your face."

"It's nothing." She said with wide eyes and I looked down at our hands feeling hurt.

"Ok, when you are ready… when you feel you can trust me, I'm here if you wanna talk."

She let out an exasperated sigh and her eyes watered again.

"Edward… it's not like that, of course I trust you. It's just that… I don't know if it's worth it… you have a lot on your mind already, I don't want to burden you more."

"Bella, you are my priority… if you are not Ok, the kids are not Ok then I'm not Ok. But if you need time I understand, you are not a burden please engrave that in your mind."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing! Baby, it's Ok."

"I love you Edward… I really do." She said, hugging me closer to her and burying her face in the crook of my neck. "I'm so sorry… for everything I did."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, well, well... some of you were right! Andrew and Tanya did have a thing! AND SHE WAS PREGNANT!<strong>

**Poor Edward having too much on his plate right now... Here is the link for the ones who are not a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan and don't know what I was talKing about with the Ross' hug and roll trick! It's pretty funnny!**

www . you tube watch?v = j0eStJlnNKo **just remove the spaces or look for Ross's hug and roll trick on YT.**

**So, who do you think is in the freaking mercedes? Any bets? Also, I quoted Eclipse's Edward a couple of times on this chapter, did you got them? Let me know!**

**Sorry for the lack of Andrew and Marie's action in this chapter, I promise we'll have a good dose of them next chapter!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**

**Tpec**


	29. Chapter 29: Learning To Breathe

**I know it took me a little more than ten days... but better late than never! I do promise it won't take me more that 2 weeks and LONG chapters!**

**Broken Dreams, Shattered Hearts updated last week with Rosalie's Outtake! Don't forget to check it out!**

**SM own everything, I do own those ginger smurfs!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 29: Learning To Breathe<p>

"**Learning To Breathe" – Switchfoot**

Hello, good morning, how ya do?  
>What makes your rising sun so new?<br>I could use a fresh beginning too  
>All of my regrets are nothing new<p>

So this is the way  
>that I say that I need You<br>This is the way  
>This is the way<p>

That I'm learning to breathe  
>I'm learning to crawl<br>I'm finding that You and  
>You alone can break my fall<br>I'm living again, awake and alive  
>I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies<p>

I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation Bella and I had. What wasn't she telling me? She felt so guilty about it… what could it possibly be? Had she done something? Had she figured out she was being stalked? That couldn't be… she would be scared not guilty if that was the case. I knew I needed to tell her but after today's conversation I didn't want to upset her even more, besides I had already reported it to Chief Banner, but because of the lack of proof, threats and physical descriptions of that woman there wasn't much to do about it. He did promise me to increase the security around the area so that eased my mind a little.

Just a little.

I tried to go back to the article I was currently writing for the doctor's journal on tuberculosis in children but couldn't concentrate on it. My mind kept wandering about what Bella had tried to tell me and why she backed off at the last minute. Then I would switch courses and end up trying to figure out who was in the black Mercedes. But thankfully someone knocked on my door, giving me the excuse to put my attention on something else and clear my head. I went to open the door to find dad there waiting for me.

"Edward, can we talk for a moment?"

"Sure," I said "Come in." I motioned him to sit on the couch and I sat on the single one across from him. "How's mom?"

"Good, just dropped her at home."

I nodded.

"I just wanted to let you know that Lauren won't be a problem anymore."

"You assigned her at another clinic?"

"I didn't have to… she quit by herself, she is moving back to Ottawa to spend time with her mother. Dr. Anderson managed to place her at the same hospital her mom is admitted at."

"So she left Toronto for good?" I asked surprised, I hadn't expected I would get rid of her so easy. My life is never easy, I mean… not that I was glad her mom was sick but you get it. Lauren was becoming a problem and that was the least I needed right now, right now I need to concentrate on the safety of my kids and Bella.

"Yes, at least for the time being. I talked to Dr. Anderson and he said Mrs. Mallory won't make it to Christmas, I don't know what Lauren's plans are for after her mom passes away but if she asks for a place here I won't take her back if you want."

"Please, I can't handle anymore bullshit."

"Alright." He nodded.

"Was that all?" I asked him and he looked down.

"Yes… well, sorry I ask but did you talk to Bella? About… you know the letter?"

"Yes."

"How did she take it?"

I sighed and passed my hand though my hair.

How did Bella take it?

"Exactly as I thought she would… she cried, she felt guilty… she got scared."

"Understandable… but hopefully Tanya will get the proper care soon and get better so you and Bella can finally live in peace and the kids would be safe."

"I hope so too."

…

…

…

And this is what I hated about my new relationship with my dad.

The awkward silence.

He wasn't a man of many words -well at least after Andrew's death- but we were never awkward. We had tons of topics to talk about especially because the two of us shared the same career and interests but after Bella left and he basically behaved like a prick –which now I knew why, he wanted me to get better and do something about my situation instead of crying for myself like a pussy- and after finding out about him knowing about my kids… our relationship was pretty strained. I know he couldn't do much about it, Bella begged him no to tell me anything and he was silenced by the HIPPA's laws anyway. But I don't know… he could have convinced Bella, we could have arranged something… at least if I had known I would have gotten my life back on track earlier while I waited for Bella to be ready. Well, at least I'd like to think that's what I would have done instead of taking the first flight to Ottawa and harass Bella into giving me a chance.

Anyway, no one knows what would have happened. But the only thing I know is that I felt betrayed and hurt, so I can't see myself forgiving him anytime soon, much less being the way we used to be almost 5 years ago. I'm probably being a baby about it, as he did help Bella and for that I'm grateful but I can only handle one problem at a time, so I'd think about dad later. Right now, I needed to resolve this damn puzzle involving a dead rat, a fucking Mercedes and weird phone calls at one in the morning.

"Uhm… I need to work." I told him and he nodded.

"Good, I'll be in my office if you need anything."

* * *

><p>I called the security company to get the cameras installed and they told me that because it was Thanksgiving week, they were busy before the break and couldn't install the cameras until next Monday. So after calling Bella and asking her if it was alright with her we set up the time. Then, it was almost seven which meant I could finally go home.<p>

I knocked on the door and Bella yelled over the kitchen window that faced the street to use my key as she had her hands full. I did as told and stepped into the house, as soon as I closed the door Andrew came flying towards me from the bottom of the staircase and I caught him in my arms before he could hit me in the junk.

"Dad!" He cheered.

"What's up kiddo?!" I said picking him up.

From my peripheral vision I saw Marie run into the kitchen without acknowledging me and I furrowed my brows.

No hello to daddy?

"Dad! Guess what?!" Andrew got my attention back.

"What's up champ?"

"I got blue star today! Miss Kelly say I was good!"

"Wow, I'm so proud kiddo! Did you put it on the fridge?"

"YES!"

Damn, I couldn't wait for his voice to hit puberty. Thankfully it won't sound so much like Alice then and my ears would stop bleeding every time he yelled.

"Show me." I said putting him on the floor and I followed him into the kitchen.

"Hey baby." I kissed Bella as I passed her and she smiled sweetly at me. "Watcha doing?" I asked as I saw her mixing some salad with a purple apron on and caught a glimpse of some fried chicken in a pan. "Haven't you had dinner yet?" I asked in confusion as they usually had dinner before I had arrived as I always got here a little before eight because of the traffic at this hour.

"Uhm, no… we were waiting for you."

"You did?" I asked in amazement.

"Yeah, remember last week when you were sick and you told me you waited to have dinner after visiting the kids? So you would have more time with them?"

I nodded.

"Well, I thought we could rectify that." She winked at me. "Besides, with your cooking skills it should be illegal for you to feed yourself. Sit, dinner will be ready in two minutes." I chuckled and pulled her towards me giving her a good kiss. We heard Andrew make yucky noises in the background but we ignored him.

"Thank you…" I whispered but she shook her head.

"You have nothing to thank for, you should have told me… we could have waited an hour for you."

"Do you need help with anything?"

"No, it's ready… just go and sit."

"Ok," I said and looked over the kitchen bar and saw Marie sitting quietly by herself on her usual spot at the table.

"What's up with Marie?" I whisper asked Bella then and she furrowed her eyebrows for a second before amusement filled her face.

"Ask her about her new lunchbox." Bella chuckled quietly.

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"I hope you are not the jealous-daddy type." She said with amusement on her voice before taking the salad bowl and walking out of the kitchen to place it on the breakfast table. I followed suit and sat next to Marie as Andrew took his place next to me.

"Hi princess." I greeted her.

"Hi daddy." She mumbled.

What was up with her? Was she mad at me? Had I done something to upset her?

"Are you Ok sweetie?" I said caressing her hair "Where's my hello kiss?"

She lifted her face and I tipped my head down so she could kiss my cheek.

"That's better." I smiled at her and she smiled in return. I felt Bella place something in the middle of the table and sit across from me. I lifted my gaze and saw her biting her lip to disguise her smile while serving some fried chicken on Andrew's plate and I got curious.

"So tell me honey, how was your day?"

"Good." She said looking down again avoiding my gaze.

What the hell was up with her? Why did she look so… nervous?

"Good? What did you do? Tell me, did you learn something new?"

She nodded.

"I got a pink star." She mumbled.

"I'm proud honey, what else did you do?" I said as I helped Bella serving salad on the kids' plates much to Andrew's distaste.

"I played…" She started to say and I heard Andrew giggle next to me but Bella hushed him.

"That sounds fun… so tell me, I heard you got a new lunch box today?" I said trying to ease her nervousness, but her face snapped towards me and her eyes became wide as saucers.

"Who told you?!" She cried before glaring at Andrew who couldn't stop giggling.

Ok, what the hell was I missing?

"Uhmm… So mommy didn't get you the lunchbox?" I asked confusedly.

She was mute then and I turned to Bella who was hiding her grin behind her napkin.

"No." She mumbled.

"Who did?" I asked really intrigued now.

"A frwend." She mumbled and then I heard Andrew's little sing song voice.

"Marie and Jacob sitting in a tree… kay yay yei yay way and gee!"

"ANDREW!" Marie screeched horrified.

"Jacob's Marie boyfriend." Andrew stated between giggles and Marie started crying.

"NO!" She yelled mortified.

"YES!"

"Mommy!"

"Andrew… cut it out now." Bella said sternly and Andrew pouted looking down.

I…

I was in shock.

Yeah, that worked.

"Marie?" I inquired so she would elaborate.

"He's no mah boyfrwend daddy… you're my prince."

My heart instantly melted, seriously… how did she do it? She was too sweet and cute for words.

"Are you mad?" She asked quietly while she played with the hem of her pink shirt.

"Of course not honey…" I chuckled lightly caressing her cheek. "So, did Jacob ask you to be his girlfriend?" I asked not letting the irrational jealousy get the best of me. I mean she's three… THREE! She shouldn't be thinking about boys yet, she should be thinking about dolls and fairytales. What's next? Will she want to wear make-up and short skirts? No. She was my baby.

She nodded.

"And what did you tell him?"

"That I couldn't cause you were my prince and I was marry you one day." She explained.

That's my girl.

"But… you can't marry daddy, cause mommy's daddy's girlfrwend… THEY KISS!" Andrew whisper yelled at her "Lots and lots!" he continued making me and Bella crack in spite of her sudden blush.

Yes, mommy is daddy's girlfriend.

"He can marry both." Marie argued back crossing her arms and lifting her chin up in challenge.

"Eww, me never marrying… girls have cooties… and smell yucky." He said scrunching his nose.

"Yes, you'll be single till you are fifty and old and wrinkled." Bella said firmly but smiling tenderly at him. "And we don't smell yucky _or_ have cooties." She added as an afterthought.

"You no mommy, but girls at school do… especially Betty… she's yucky… yucky, yucky, yucky." He answered making a face. "Very yucky."

Those were too much yuckies in my opinion.

I threw Bella a knowing glance and she scowled a little. I guessed Andrew had a little crush too.

God, so much for a worriless night.

"Jacob don't think I smell, he says I'm pretty." Marie mumbled.

What?! No.

She's _my _pretty little girl.

"Alright, for arguments' sake… both of you are _not_ allowed to have boyfriends or girlfriends until you are eighty, understood?" I said firmly.

The both nodded frantically.

What was up with younger generations?!

After helping Bella wash the dishes I kissed the kids goodnight before Bella ushered them upstairs to get ready for the night. She walked me to the front door and I turned to kiss her goodbye.

"She's four you know? She won't runaway with a five year old."

"She's three not four" I argued, -at least for another month- she rolled her eyes at me "and that's my point, she's a little girl, she should be playing with dolls not mommy and daddy yet." I said stubbornly

She fucking laughed at me.

"You are being silly you know? Besides Jacob is a good kid, you are his doctor for god sakes, you should know this. It's just a small crush, it would pass soon."

"So she likes him too?!"

"She was frightened to tell you, that was why she was acting like that. But you are still her number one it seems I have a little competition from my own daughter." She teased and I smiled brightly at her.

"She's daddy's little girl." I said proudly.

"That she is… So, you are not coming tomorrow night right?" She said as I opened the door, I scanned the street to see if anything was out of place and turned back to her.

"I'm sorry love it's just the guys and I are going to a game… nothing crazy. I'll call you when I get home if you want."

"It's Ok… I trust you. Just… be careful Ok?"

I pulled her towards me and kissed her lips softly as I intertwined my fingers with hers, my thumb caressing the heart shaped diamond hanging from her bracelet.

"I love you. I'll be Ok don't worry about me… see you on Wednesday?"

She nodded but then hesitated.

"Can you come over later? When the kids are asleep?"

I smiled down at her and traced the back of my fingers down her cheek.

"I'd love to, you know?… if it was up to me I'd never leave."

She looked into my eyes for a long moment, and I got lost in them. Thinking about the way they had shined the first time we said I love you… or the first time I asked her to stay at my place… they had been so clear, pure and blissful.

She took my hand that was still on her cheek and kissed the inside of my wrist.

"Then don't… don't ever leave." She whispered and my eyes went wide as my heart and lungs stopped working altogether.

Wha-

Was she…

Uh?

Huh…

Wha-

_What?!_

"Bella?" I choked out.

"Sorry… too soon?" She asked, and I saw that insecurity clouding her eyes again.

"No!" I said immediately "Sorry… you just took me by surprise…"

She smiled sheepishly.

"I know… it's just that, it feels right you know? I mean… we are on the same page right? We want the same things for the future, I know we've been back together just for a couple of weeks but… we have loved each other for more than 5 years, you already spend most of your free time here, it makes no sense for you to go back and forth between places, besides I want you here, I liked what we had tonight… I want that with you, always and… I miss you it's not home without you."

"Bella… oh god, love are you sure about this?" I asked, still not believing what she was saying. She wants me here? Like _here_ here?! She wants me to _move in_ with them?!

She shrugged.

"Since when do we do what were supposed to do? I want you here, the kids want you here, you obviously want to be here too… it was only a matter of time anyway we have lost so much time already why waste any more? We could use the Christmas break to reconnect… get used to us living together again, and… spend the holidays together as a family. I think it's the perfect time."

I closed the distance between us and crushed my lips against hers. My arms circled her waist as her hands travelled up my torso, around my neck and through my hair. I took her lower lip between mine and traced tip of my tongue over it. She let out a small moan opening her mouth a little and I thrust my tongue inside seeking hers.

The things this woman did to me… my pants were suddenly a bit too tight.

It's been _years_… years!

"Is that a yes?" She asked breathless when we parted for air and I let out an incredulous laugh.

"I can't believe you are even asking you know nothing would make me happier."

"So, you are moving in?" She asked with a small smile that threatened to expand and split her gorgeous face in two.

"I'm moving in."

I was finally coming home.

Home.

* * *

><p>I drove as fast as my car would take me to my house. I grabbed my gym bag and threw some clean clothes in, took a shower and changed into my favorite sweatpants, a shirt and grey hoodie. I spend the time fiddling with my guitar while I waited for Bella to put the kids to bed. We had agreed we wouldn't tell them yet about me moving in until Thanksgiving. We had agreed to start bringing my stuff after my parent's dinner as I didn't have to work. Besides it wasn't as if I had a lot to bring, I would only be bringing my piano and personal stuff. I didn't want or need anything else. This wasn't my home anymore it hadn't been since she left so nothing was special to me.<p>

I had to come up with something to explain Bella's stuff all over my place though, I didn't want her to think I was a creep or for her to feel guilty when she realized I never let go of her stuff. I would ask mom and Alice to help me storage them over the weekend, it was unlikely Bella would come here anyway. She sure would help me unpacking once I was settled but she had been clear before how she felt of coming to my place.

Around ten, Bella texted me to come home and I immediately dropped my guitar on the couch in my studio and run out of the house to my car. Five minutes later I was knocking on Bella's front door. She didn't listen but I didn't want to ring the doorbell because the kids were asleep so I texted her telling her I was outside.

**Use ur key! I'm in the shower! – Bella**

I looked back on the dark street before doing as she told me and used my key to get inside, then locked the door back and set the alarm on.

Sam greeted me in the foyer as he heard me come in and I petted him a little before heading upstairs. I locked the door to the second floor and check on the kids before I walked down the hallway to Bella's room. She was still on the bathroom but I couldn't hear the water running so I guessed she was done showering and was getting ready for bed. I tried not to think of her wet naked body under the hot stream from the shower and put my bag on her desk chair and threw myself on her huge bed over my stomach. I let my mind wander a little, thinking about brown eyes and porcelain skin everywhere and dozed for a few minutes until I felt the mattress move and then Bella straddling my lower back.

"Tired baby?" She hummed as she kissed the back of my ear.

"Had a long day…" I mumbled into her sheets, which smelled just like her "between last night at my parents and today with Andy's anniversary… I'm exhausted."

"Andy? You used to call him Andy?" She inquired as she started massaging my upper back and neck with her fingers. I let out an approving moan before answering her.

"Mom used to… and she kept calling him that today, I guess it rubbed on me."

"I would have loved to meet him." She mused.

"He would have loved you… and he probably would have told you that you were making a mistake by being with me. That you were too pretty." I half joked half stated.

"No he wouldn't, you are just biased." She chuckled.

I tried to move and she rose on her knees so I would roll on my back, I put my left forearm under my head for support and she sat back on my stomach.

"No I'm not… you are wonderful." I lifted my right hand and caressed her cheek with the back of my fingers. "So beautiful."

Slowly, I pulled her face down and covered her mouth with mine, my lips closing around hers, my tongue tasting hers. It started innocent but of course, soon enough it increased in intensity. Her breathing became labored as my hands wandered down her waist and over her thighs, our kiss became urgent when she threaded her fingers through my hair and pressed herself against me. I could tell she was wearing nothing but panties under her robe and that thought alone was enough to make me lose my mind and set my body on flames.

We continued kissing passionately while she started moving above me, torturing me slowly with each grind over my hardening cock. My hand found the strings of her robe and I looked into her eyes for permission, after she gave me a small nod I pulled at the strings, opening her robe to reveal her chest. I opened the garment further, removing the long sleeves from her shoulders and arms until it fall somewhere on the floor. Her skin, smooth and pale, precious like a whit pearl called me. I lightly traced my index finger between her breasts, relieving with the reaction I brought out of her as her nipples hardened under my touch. I couldn't help myself any longer, I needed to have my mouth on her so I flipped us over so I was now above her and my mouth instantly went to her chest.

She tugged at the hem of my shirt and I helped her remove it in one swift motion. She chuckled at my hastiness but I silenced her with my lips back on her mouth again. My hands wandered and searched down her naked body and my fingers itched for getting rid from her final piece of clothing. I hooked the side of her purple girly panties with my fingers.

"Bella…" I whispered looking for her eyes "please baby… let me taste you."

Her eyes were hooded and her lips a little swollen, she seemed out of it but she still managed to nod, and was with that that I slowly started to pull her panties down until they joined my shirt and her robe on the floor.

I took a moment to take in the sight of her glorious naked body displayed for me on her bed, her beautiful lean form, round breasts and soft pale skin, her slightly wider hips, the small stretch marks on her abdomen, the small scar of her c-section, all those small changes that were the remains from when she had carried our kids, which only added more perfection to her figure. She squirmed a little under my stare and she blushed when I lifted my gaze to her face. I smiled my crooked grin at her in approval, I knew she must be nervous about the changes in her body. Silly I know, as she has never been more perfect. I loved that innocence and shyness about her though, but I knew better. She could be all innocent only to go wild on the next second.

I leaned down again, hovering over her and supporting my weight with left elbow while my hand played with a few strands of her hair. With my other hand I caressed her cheek as I tipped my head down to kiss her again.

"You are so beautiful pretty girl… you have no idea how you make me feel."

"Edward… I love you." She said pulling my face back to her for a long, lustful kiss. "I missed you so much."

I started a small trail of kisses from her jaw to her collarbone, while my right hand wandered south to touch her on the right places. She moaned as my hand teased her left breast following with my mouth. My cock was aching for some attention too, but this was not about me, I needed _her_ to feel good. Besides, I knew she wasn't ready for that yet, no matter if we were moving in together in a few days I still didn't want to rush that part.

As I continued my ministrations, Bella kept writhing under my touch. My mouth that had been teasing her nipple continued its journey down her body, I flicked her navel with my tongue, and just when I was about to reach my final destination, the place where I planned to lose myself for hours, a soft knock on the door made us jump.

"Fuck!" Bella groaned quiely.

"Mommy?" Andrew whimpered.

"Shit!" I hissed as I immediately jumped backwards.

Bella quickly grabbed her robe from the floor to cover herself, and as I was still on my sweatpants I just had to grab a pillow to hide my problem under the covers. I chuckled as Bella looked at herself in her full length mirror, placating her hair and she just threw me playful daggers over the reflection.

"Mommy?" Andrew cried again.

"Just a second honey." Bella said as she quickly put her panties back on and stumbled towards the door. "This is not over." She told me before unlocking the door, which I don't remember locking… she probably did it when she got out from the bathroom which made me think if she had planned a little something. I smirked at myself at the thought.

See? She wasn't as innocent as she appeared to be.

When Bella finally opened the door, a distraught Andrew stood there clutching Andy's teddy bear that I had gave him a long time ago to his tiny chest.

"What's wrong honey?" Bella said worriedly, but as she was about to kneel in front of him Andrew bent over and puked all over the floor.

I was out of the bed in an instant, grabbed the small trash can next to Bella's desk and put it in front of Andrew where he kept throwing up.

"Oh god baby… what did you eat?" Bella gasped.

"Daddy?"

"I'm here buddy…" I caressed his back as he continued to vomit.

"Mah tu-ummy hurts." Andrew cried between heaves.

I placed my hand on his forehead to see if he had fever.

"Do you have a thermometer?" I asked Bella as Andrew was actually pretty warm. Bella nodded and went into her bathroom.

Andrew stopped vomiting then, and I removed his stained shirt.

"What did you have for lunch today?" I asked him as I stood up with him in my arms and laid him on Bella's bed.

"PB shanwich."

"And after that?" I continued while Bella handed me the digital thermometer. I placed it in his ear and checked it after the beep. 102.6 F° he had fever.

"Nothing." He said too innocently looking at me with red eyes from crying.

"Andrew… I'm not going to be mad at you, tell me what you had… I need to know so mommy and I can take care of you."

"But… you gonna shot me?" He looked scared.

"No if it's not necessary." I said honestly, I didn't want to promise him something only to find out he has something more serious and have to take him to the ER which I doubted.

"Baby…" Bella cooed "Tell daddy what you had? Was it candies?"

He nodded reluctantly.

"What kind of candies?" I asked.

"Camamel apple."

"A caramel apple?" Bella asked furrowing her eyebrows "Where did you get a cara-… oh! Oh god!" Bella said making a face "Are you talking about the ones I got you _months_ ago?"

He nodded.

"Oh god honey! That was months old! You still had it?!"

He started crying again.

"I'm shorry!"

"Shh… its Ok buddy, you didn't know." I soothe him as I threw Bella a meaningful look. I knew it was because she worried but she could scowl him tomorrow when he felt better. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath calming herself.

"I'm sorry baby… but you scared me." Bella apologized kissing his cheek and Andrew cuddled next to her.

"Sorry." He whimpered again.

"Andrew, how are you feeling son?"

"Mah tummy hurts." He said again.

"I'm going to get you some water Ok baby?" Bella said kissing his head and standing up from the bed.

"Do you have Pedialyte?" I asked her when she reached the door.

"Yes, why?"

"Give him that instead of water, I don't want him to dehydrate and water is not always good because it can cause problems with the salt content in their bodies." I explained.

"What about the fever?"

I thought for a moment and touched his forehead again.

"It's not rising, we can just leave him uncovered so he can cool down. He already threw up so I don't think it will get worse than this."

"Alright Dr. Cullen." She teased before disappearing in the hallway.

I turned back to Andrew and smiled at him. He looked so fragile and defenseless it was ridiculous knowing the real hurricane he was.

"What you doin here daddy?" He asked with tired eyes.

"I came to visit mommy." I answered as I lay next to him.

"Oh… thas good, very good." I chuckled at him and kissed his forehead.

Bella walked into the room a minute later holding a sippy cup and a bottle of Pedialyet. She gave Andrew the cup and placed the Pedialyte on her nightstand.

"Drink all of it honey…" She said to Andrew before looking back at me "I'll use the bathroom for a sec, and clean up this mess… I'll be right back."

"We'll be here… did you lock the door to the second floor back?"

She frowned at me.

"Yes, I always lock it… why?"

"Oh, ok… no, just making sure."

She smiled at me.

"Stop worrying, you're so overprotective sometimes."

"Hey, I protect what's mine." I teased back she rolled her eyes and went into her bathroom with a small smile. Andrew gave me his now empty sippy cup and I placed it on the nightstand. He snuggled against me and instantly fell asleep. Seconds later Bella came out wearing full pajamas, I pouted at her but she only smirked back. She spent about fifteen minutes cleaning up the floor before she turned the lights off and laid down on her side of bed, scooting closer to Andrew and me. I threw my left arms over them and held them tight.

"Goodnight baby." I whispered. "I love you."

I kissed her lips chastely.

"Sweet dreams pretty boy."

The only sound then was Andrew's light snores. We stayed quiet, holding each other in the darkness, with the occasional light touch just to let us know we were here. I fell in a peaceful sleep shortly after.

The next morning I woke up to Marie and Andrew bundled between Bella and me. I wondered briefly at what time she had woken up and ended up here. I felt someone staring at me and lifted my gaze to see Bella studying me.

"Good morning." I said in a husky voice as I still had to wake up fully.

"I can get very used to this." She answered making me smile.

"I'm glad." I said before looking at the time in her nightstand alarm.

"At what time to you have to be at the clinic? Did you bring clothes or do you have to stop at your house first?"

"I brought clean clothes… and my first appointment is at ten."

"Good, the kids enter at nine so I better get up." She whispered stretching a little.

"You want me to drop them off?" I asked hopefully, I've never done that before and I wanted it very, very much.

She smiled at me.

"That would be great, I have tons of work to do. But do you think Andrew should go to school?"

I looked down at him, his color was back and he hadn't gotten up again during the night but he must be tired after the ordeal and I still didn't want him to risk it.

"Let him rest. He must be fine now but he must be tired and weak after all the vomiting."

"Ok, you can use my bathroom" She kissed me quickly "I'll be downstairs making breakfast… omelets Ok with you?"

"Sure." I said rolling onto my stomach and stretching lazily, she giggled before happily saunter out of the room.

Marie wouldn't stop chattering happily the whole way to Montessori, and I happily listened to her the whole ride. Once I parked on the school's parking lot I got out of the car and went to unbuckle her from her car seat. I took her hand and carried her backpack with my other hand as I walked her to her class. She kept jumping up and down all the time as she held my hand tightly.

We reached her classroom and Miss Kelly came to receive her.

"Miss Kelly! Look! My dad brought me to school today!" She announced happily and Miss Kelly smiled warmly at her.

"That's awesome Marie," Miss Kelly smiled at me and I nodded in greeting "But where's Andrew?"

"He's sick he was up all night so we thought it was better for him to take the day off." I explained.

"Oh, poor thing… I hope he gets well soon."

"Thank you." I smiled at the kind woman.

"Well, Marie… do you want to show your dad all your drawings at the back before he leaves?"

"Yes! Come daddy!" I chuckled as Marie dragged me to the back of the class.

I saw other parents dropping their kids off too, some of them stayed until the classes started like me, others just left them here. I was surprised to find that I wasn't the only dad around, there were a couple others too talking and playing with their kids. It was a big class for pre-school, about 15 kids were running around the classroom. When the class finally started, I kissed Marie goodbye and promised to pick her up as Bella had to stay with Andrew and couldn't leave him alone.

The rest of the morning was uneventful, I did have a lot of patients coming in and I skipped lunch so I would be able to pick up Marie on time. I left her at home but couldn't stay as I had to head back to the clinic so I could be free for the game tonight. Emmet had called me around three, telling me he and Jasper will be picking me up at my house at six. I agreed and hurried between my next patients and teaching Garrett the basics about the clinic. Garrett was the new intern, since Lauren wasn't doing her residency with us anymore my dad had taken him in. He wanted to be an oncologist like dad, he seemed cool, he was young, about five years younger than me and thankfully I didn't have to worry about him.

"Your dad opened the St. Andrew's Clinic then?" He asked as I showed him where all the medical supplies were.

"Not exactly, he inherited the clinic from my grandfather. He was an oncologist too so the clinic was exclusive for patients with cancer. It was after my brother died that he changed the name and turned it into a clinic exclusively for children and he went back to school to become and OB/GYN."

"Oh, sorry about that… I didn't realize." I waved him off.

"Do you have more questions?"

"How many people work here?"

"Well… there are three other doctors who have their offices for appointments here, they specialize in different areas but they focus solely on children. But they are not always here they are mainly doing surgeries or researches at other hospitals. Only my father, Dr. Stanley and I are here on a daily basis unless my father has a surgery and I have to help him."

"What about other residents?"

"There's Mary, who you already met. She wants to be a pediatrician, then there's Gabrielle who wants to be an OB/GYN. Heidi is the head nurse and receptionist, then there's Kyle and Margot but they are only nurses."

He nodded in understanding.

"Dr. Cullen." Heidi interrupted then.

"Yes Heidi?"

"Bella's on the phone, she wants to speak with you."

"Thank you Heidi, would you please introduce Garrett to the rest of the staff?"

"It would be my pleasure, she is on line two. C'mon Mr. Packer, I'll show you around."

I left Garrett and Heidi in the medical supplies room and darted towards my office, I closed the door behind me a quickly picked up the phone.

"Hey." I said.

"Hi baby, sorry for interrupting you… were you busy?"

"No, not really… what's up? Is Andrew Ok?"

"Yeah, he's asleep but hasn't eaten anything his stomach is still a little sensitive."

"You want me to come and check on him?"

"No, he's fine… he just needs to rest. That wasn't the reason why I was calling you." She said and I could hear her smile.

"Why are you calling then?"

"Oh my god Edward… you shouldn't have…" She said sweetly.

Huh?

"What's that baby?"

"They are beautiful! Thank you so much!" She continued to gush.

Ok, I was missing something here.

"What are you talking about?" I asked confusedly.

"The flowers, I just got them!"

"Flowers?"

"Seriously honey you shouldn't have."

"Bab-"

"I'll put them in wat-"

"Bella!" I interrupted her with an edge on my voice.

"What baby?"

"I didn't send you any flowers." I said with venom on my voice.

"Oh."

…

…

…

I swallowed and bit my tongue before saying anything that would upset her. I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak with what I hoped was a calm voice.

"Do they have a card?" I said in a steel like voice, my eyes saw red and my body shook, ready to kill the motherfucker who sent flowers to _my_ woman.

"Uhmm… I don't know… I-I thought they were from you and called you immediately… didn't think about it."

"Then _look_."

"Hey! It's not my fault don't talk to me like that."

I closed my eyes and counted to ten, when I felt a little more relaxed I talked again.

"I'm sorry baby… you're right."

She grunted.

"Now it makes sense." She said.

"What makes sense?"

"They are red roses… I hate red roses."

I knew that.

Her favorite were _white_ roses and lilies. The only reason I had given her pink roses before was because of the meaning of the flower and she knew that, and I've never given her red roses before.

"Oh…" She deadpanned then.

"What?"

"There's a card."

"Who are they from."

"It doesn't matter honey, I'll take care of it."

"Bella, who are the damn roses from?" I hissed, so much for controling my temper.

"Pretty boy, please let me handle it. You trust me right?"

"Of course I do, it's the motherfucker who sent you those roses I don't trust… who was it? If you don't tell me I'll call the fucking flower delivery thing."

"Ok, first of all you won't do such a thing, second of all calm down. They're just some stupid flowers and they don't mean anything to me which is what should matter to you, so don't rile yourself up."

"Bella, who sent you those flowers?" I asked again, this time with a tone that said I wasn't taking anymore bullshit, I was going to find out one way or the other, and I think I had a fairly good idea of who the asshole was.

She sighed.

"Please don't make a scene Ok?"

I remained quiet.

"Mike."

"So much for being just your boss, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you blaming me for this?!"

"No, but I remember you telling me it was a strictly professional relationship and clearly it's not from his part."

"Well, it is from my part so you don't have to worry about it. I'll just throw them away, you of all people should understand, or did Lauren find another doctor's leg to hump?"

"Actually, Lauren doesn't work here anymore. I asked dad to remove her last week, so yeah… I did something about it, now what are _you_ going to do about it?"

"What do you want me to do?! I can't fire him he is my boss. They are just some stupid flowers he didn't make any propositions much less harass me. I'll talk to him and tell him I'm with you."

"He doesn't know?!" I yelled.

"Why would he?! He is my boss I don't pour my private life to him! I didn't know his intentions!"

"Dammit Bella! The guy practically undressed you with a look when I met him! Are you stupid or what?!"

The line went dead.

"FUCK!" I yelled at no one.

I tried to dial again but of course it went to voice mail, I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost six.

Damn it, I really fucked up.

I shouldn't have yelled or insulted her, but I had been green with jealousy. I had spoken without thinking, yeah it made me mad she hadn't told Mike she was with me, but she had a point… why would she explain her private life to her boss? And I had seen how she didn't respond to his advances that day at the restaurant. But I still wanted to kill that asshole, who did he think he was? Bella was mine I wasn't going to let some fucking cheap Romeo take her away from me.

I grabbed my phone again and called Adam, Alice assistant.

"Hello sweet-cheeks! I knew you'd come around eventually!" He greeted me.

"Shut up Adam, I need a favor."

"I'll do anything for you baby." He said sweetly and I rolled my eyes.

"You still have the number of the florist that helped us with Bella's garden?"

* * *

><p>An hour later Emmett and Jasper picked me up at my house, I was wearing my favorite jeans and a Maple Leaf's jersey. Em and Jazz were wearing pretty much the same. It took us almost an hour to get there because of the traffic, which got worse as we reached the ACC, but thanks to Tyler we had special parking lots reserved. We met Tyler by the VIP area and some dude ushered us in, the seats where great and the stadium was packed. There were vendors everywhere and people screaming.<p>

"Tyler, please marry me!" Emmett yelled over the noise as we settled on our front seats "seriously dude, I could kiss you right now!"

"Sorry Em, I don't score that way." Tyler said making everyone laugh but me.

I couldn't stop thinking about Bella, why hadn't she called? Didn't she receive my surprise? Adam said he had taken care of it, that the owner owed him a favor so that he would deliver it tonight as a special delivery.

I couldn't stop checking my phone, Jazz noticed of course.

"What did you do?" He chuckled

"What makes you think I did something?" I smirked.

"You have guilt all over your face, you won't stop fidgeting, you check your phone every point five seconds and… Adam and Alice talk."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Figures."

"You make Bella mad?"

"We got into a stupid fight." I said checking my phone again.

"Why?" He asked taking it away from my hands and I glared at him.

"Fine, some douchebag sent her flowers so I might have flipped and yelled at her and called her stupid."

His eyebrows shot up.

"Dude, that wasn't cool."

"Don't you think I fucking know that already!" I said taking my phone back.

No missed calls.

No messages.

Fuckity fuckity fuck fuck!

"Who's this douchebag?" Emmett said then, I hadn't known he had been listening.

"Her fucking boss."

"The one who called her yesterday at the cemetery?"

"Yes Emmett how many bosses do you think she has?" I said in a _duh_ tone.

"Edward, please dude Bella won't go anywhere… you are spoiling the fun! Stop worrying so much… c'mon, I'll buy you a beer." Tyler turned around and called some guy with a cooler.

"Tyler's right, I'm sure you'll work things out… you said so yourself, it was a stupid fight right?" Emmet said "C'mon Eddie, cheer up! IT'S THE FUCKING LEAFS DUDE! You'll have Dion Phaneuf sooo close you're gonna smell his sweat!"

"Emmett, that's gross." Jasper said making a face and I agreed with him.

"Yeah, well he has the hots for Tyler so what did you expect?" I said earning the bird from Emmett, but he still had that stupid grin on his face.

Then I felt my phone vibrate on my pocket and I quickly retrieve it.

"So eager, booty call?" Emmett wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Fuck you." I said as I opened the text message from Bella.

**Just cause I have a living room full of**

**lilies doesn't mean you're forgiven.**

**But thank you, have a good time with the guys - B**

Well, it's a start.

**I love you pretty girl. I'm sorry, didn't**

**mean what I said – E**

**Enjoy the game, be safe. Love u 2 – B**

I smiled to myself at least she still loved me.

The game started then, and I was able to finally relax and pay attention to my friends. Tyler handed me a beer which I took gladly and joined their cheers.

The Leafs won, much for Emmett and Tyler's joy. Especially Tyler's joy as Dwyer –the payer he signed in- was who decided the game which had been really tight. Tyler asked us to follow him and he took us to the lockers to meet the team. Emmett was as giddy as a kid on fucking Christmas but as soon as we entered the lockers he became tongue tied as Dion Phaneuf passed next to him. Jasper and I snickered at his star struck face.

"Phil!" Tyler shouted over the noise and a big guy lifted his face. "Come here little fucker! I want you to meet some friends!"

Big guy sauntered his way towards us with a big smile, I guess he was still full on adrenaline after tonight.

"Phil, this are Emmett and Edward Cullen and Jasper Whitlock good old friends."

"Great game!" Emmett said a little too loudly.

"Thanks man, hope we can keep it up."

"So, where are you from?" Jasper inquired.

"I'm from the states, grew up in Seattle… but my wife and I moved here when I got signed."

"You are married?" I asked, as he wasn't wearing a band.

"Yeah, we've been together for about six years but been married for two."

"What about kids? Do you have your own little fan club?" Jasper joked and Phil laughed.

"Nah, my wife's older… way older than me but it works for us. I don't have interest in having kids and neither does she." He shrugged. "We are happy as we are."

"Good for you."

"Well, I just wanted to congratulate you man… great game. We are going for some drinks, you wanna come?"

"No thank you, Neny would kill me if I don't go straight home."

"What's with all the pussyness around here?!" Tyler joked "First Edward and now you? What did those women give you for fucks sake!"

Phil and I snickered.

"If Gianna had the beautiful chocolate eyes my wife has you'll understand." Phil answered and I whipped my head to him.

Ok, that's weird… I was about to say something like that about Bella's eyes.

"You are just being a chick, well your loss. See ya around!"

After Emmett finally build up the courage to ask Dion Phaneuf to sign his jersey we left the locker rooms and crossed the street to a sports' bar which was packed as hell.

We had a great time, Emmett and Tyler were loud and Jasper and I stared in amusement at their playful banter. They drank a lot, cheering and celebrating the Leaf's victory. Jasper stopped after a few beers as he was driving and I figured I would have just a couple more. I had to work tomorrow and I had promised Bella to be safe. A group of girls tried to buy us a round of drinks at some point but I refused, thankfully the guys backed me up.

I did send Bella a few more texts during the game and after, I knew she worried so I kept checking in with her. Her answers were less curt as the evening progressed and around eleven she told me she was tired and going to bed. I wished her sweet dreams and pocketed my phone back.

Tyler and I were talking about some of the crazy stuff we did in high school when I got an eerie feeling. Like the one you feel when you are being watched. I looked around, especially out the windows probably expecting to see a black mercedes but saw no one so I tried to ignore it, thinking if I was being watched it was probably one of the girls that had offered us a round of drinks.

I stopped drinking then.

I wasn't going to risk it, just in case.

A few hours later we decided to leave, Emmett was shitfaced so we took him home. Rosalie had yelled at him for a good fifteen minutes until Emmett passed out on their couch. Jasper and I snickered as we left his house and shared a taxi as we had gone at the ACC in Emmett's jeep.

Bella was probably asleep, but just in case I sent her a text letting her know that we had already left the bar and that Jasper and I were going home. She didn't answer so I guessed she was out.

"Poor Em, Rosalie's going to give him hell tomorrow. They were supposed to go to the adoption agency for an interview."

"Really?!" I asked in amusement "damn, I so do not wanna be in his shoes."

"Yeah, that would be a good first impression."

"How's Alice by the way? Is she still a cupcakevory?"

He snorted.

"Yes, pretty much. At least she's handling her temper better."

"She doesn't want to castrate you anymore?" I laughed and he winced.

"Not today."

The cab dropped me off first and I threw Jasper a twenty against his will. I closed the door and walked to my porch. I opened the door and stepped into my foyer dropping the keys in the little table nearby.

It was too dark, too… lonely.

With heavy steps I made my way to my room. I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower to take the smell of beer and bar out of me.

I tried not to think on my stupid fight with Bella anymore. I trusted her, I knew her, she would never lead Mike on and I knew she loved me. I also knew the jealous fucker that I was, like the time I got into that fight at a bar one time Bella, my siblings and their respective others had gone out. The prick had been ogling at her until I couldn't handle it anymore so I punched him.

Anyway, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself with a towel. I was tired but didn't want to go to bed. It felt too big… too cold, so I headed to my music/studio room and tried to play a little on my guitar. Eventually I got bored and looked around the big room.

If Bella hadn't come back… I wonder what would have become of me, alone in this big house, with so many memories. Would I eventually have gone mad? Probably. But thankfully I got her back and we were continuing our story, the one that had been on hold for so long, the one I thought I would never see the happily ever after. Sometimes I couldn't believe life had given me a second chance, I don't know how I deserved it… people have tragic endings, good people have had their dreams ripped away. My brother was one of them, he died before he even started living, he never had a chance to live… as his baby, and Tanya? She was fucking throwing her life away, I get it she is mental… I get it she was hurt about my brother's death, but we all were, why didn't she seek help back then? Dad seek helped, I seek help… Ok, maybe I'm being a hypocrite because I stopped living when Bella left but at least I didn't try to make other's lives miserable in the process.

I let out a long sigh.

It wasn't worth it thinking about the past anymore so instead I looked at my surroundings.

I was sitting on my couch, on the very same couch I had proposed to her. It would hurt to get rid of so many things that held precious memories to me, but it also held tons of painful memories. So I tried to feel better by thinking about the new memories we'll make once I move in with them. There were so many things I'll have to get rid of, but I didn't really care, they were just stuff. I guess the only big things I would bring with me to my new life was my piano and probably… no, that's it, I didn't need anything else.

I looked at down and saw one of the twins' photo album on the coffee table. I smiled to myself and reached for it, opening it in the middle. There was a photo of Marie getting her first haircut she had a puffy face as she cried. It made me smile although it tugged at my heart a little to not be there to presence these tiny little things. I shook the bad thoughts away, thinking that there still will be many firsts that I'll get to witness. Like their first day at school, their first fallen tooth, their first date, their first heartbreak, which by this rate would be sooner than I though.

I flipped through the album, not being able to sleep even though it was two in the morning. I continued to let my mind wander until the distinct ring of my phone made me jump. I jogged back to my room, thinking that maybe Andrew got sick again as it was Bella's ringtone.

"Baby? What's up?" I answered.

"I should be asking you that." She said lightly, so I knew by her tone that nothing was wrong, I threw myself on my bed and closed my eyes. Relieved at hearing her voice, and knowing she wasn't mad at me anymore.

"Sorry about today… I'm sorry baby I don't think you are stupid."

"I know… I'm sorry too I should have talked to you instead of shutting you out."

"So I'm forgiven?" I asked with a smile.

"Yes, you are forgiven… now hurry your ass up here, what's taking you so long? I miss you."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, can you please make sure the back door is closed before you come up? I let Sam out and I'm not sure if I locked it back."

"The back door? Honey, what are you talking about?" I asked confusedly.

"The back door, the one from the kitchen… can you make sure it's locked before you come up?"

"Pretty girl, you are not making any sense."

…

…

…

"Edward?" She asked tentatively "where are you?"

"I'm at my house?" I said furrowing my brows.

"Oh god." She cried quietly.

"What? Bella baby, what's up?"

"Someone's in the house."

* * *

><p><strong>*peeks from under a rock*<strong>

**I love you? please don't hate me and leave me some love!**

**So, who do you think it is? Damn Bella you should have locked the door!**

**See you in ten days! Don't forget to check out Rosalie's Outtake!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	30. Chapter 30: Safe & Sound

**Huh? He- What?! Didn't I say ten days? Alright... let's count again... 1, 2, 3... 10? Huh, no wonder I did bad in math.**

**ENJOY!**

**SM owns the world!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 30: Safe &amp; Sound<p>

"**Safe & Sound" – Taylor Swift ft. The Civil War**

I remember tears streaming down your face  
>When I said, I'll never let you go<br>When all those shadows almost killed your light  
>I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone<br>But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes  
>The sun is going down<br>You'll be alright  
>No one can hurt you now<br>Come morning light  
>You and I'll be safe and sound<p>

Don't you dare look out your window darling  
>Everything's on fire<br>The war outside our door keeps raging on  
>Hold onto this lullaby<br>Even when the music's gone

"_Someone's in the house."_

As soon as Bella spoke those words, my body was paralyzed with fear.

"Edward… are you there?" Bella cried and I came out of my trance. I jumped out of bed and quickly put my shoes on.

"Is the door to the second floor locked?" I asked hurriedly as I stumbled out of my room.

"Yes, just checked."

"Ok baby… I'm on my way, don't hang up and call 911 from the land line, now Bella hurry!" I commanded as I ran out of my room pulling a shirt on at the same time. I heard her moving around on the other side of the line just as I reached the foyer.

"It's not working! The fucking phone is not working!" Bella whispered in hysterics and I could hear Sam growling in the background. "Oh god! I can hear him in the living room!"

I flew back to my kitchen grabbing my own phone and making the call myself. An officer answered and I told them what was happening and gave them Bella's address, then ran as a bat out of hell with Bella still on my cell towards my car, not bothering with putting a coat on in spite of the freezing weather.

"Bella, calm down baby… the police will be there in a minute, now take the kids to your room and lock yourself there."

"Ok." She whimpered.

I brought my car to life and immediately backed out from my driveway, I turned the car around and sped towards Bella's as fast as I could.

"It's Ok baby, I'm almost there… talk to me love…"

"I hear the sirens." She said at the same time that I heard them in the distance.

"Me too baby… where are you now?"

"My room."

"What about the kids?"

"Here with me they're asleep, Sam's with us… aghh!" Bella yelped. "Fuck!"

"BELLA?!" I yelled over Sam's loud barks "BELLAA! FUCK, BABY!? Are you Ok?!"

"_Mommy?" _I heard Marie's distinct voice in the background and Bella telling her something I couldn't understand.

"BELLA!? What happened?"

"Yes, yes… I'm here, we are Ok." She said taking a few breathes, trying hard to stay calm "I heard something crash downsta-"

A loud bang resonated over the other line making Bella scream followed by a commotion and suddenly I heard the wails of Andrew and Marie.

"BELLA! BELLAAA! FUCK!" I screamed as I accelerated, the fucking streets have never been this long.

"It's Ok, the police came in…" Bella cried "Marie?! Sweetie? FUCK! Edward I need to go!"

"Wha- BELLA?!"

And the line went dead.

FUCK FUCKING DAMINT FUCKING SHIT!

Had Marie gone into an attack?!

I felt my eyes sting with tears as I went through my phone list.

"Hello?" A groggily voice answered.

"Rose! Get Emmett sobered up and send him to Bella's house NOW!"

"What's going on?" Rosalie said on alert "Emmett wake up!"

"Someone broke into Bella's house and I think Marie went into a hypoxemia attack, I need him to deal with the police while I take care of her."

"Oh, god! Yeah, we are coming. Fuck Emmett wake your fucking ass up!"

I hang up and five endless minutes later I rounded the corner to Bella's street, six cruisers were parked outside and I could see a few neighbors looking from their doorsteps and windows with curious eyes.

I parked in the middle of the street as there was no other place free and ran out of the car. An officer approached me, trying to stop me from coming anywhere near the house.

"Sir, I'm afraid you can't step any closer."

"My family's in there! I called you!" I ignored him and walked around him into the house.

Asshole.

The living room was a total chaos, the flowers I had sent Bella where everywhere and a few pieces of glass were on the floor from a broken vase, a few officers stood there but I couldn't concentrate on what was going around as my eyes zeroed on Bella and the kids.

"Bella!" I called after her and she whipped her head towards me.

Her eyes instantly watered as she let out a sob. Marie was on her lap, her back to Bella's chest as Bella hold her oxygen mask to her face. Andrew let go of Bella's hand and sprung towards me, his face a mix of confusion and fear. I caught him in mid air and brought him to my chest, letting out a sigh of relief as he hid his face in my neck and held me in a death grip where he finally lost it and started bawling. I kneeled in front of Bella and held the three reasons for my living tight to me, as soon as I breathed them in my heart started again.

"Thank god, dammit Bella how many times did I told you to lock the fucking doors!"

"Edward!" She chastised me, pointing to the kids with her chin.

I shut my eyes closed.

"Sorry." I breathed as I kissed hers and the kid's faces, then I brought my attention solely on Marie.

"Princess…" I said examining her face. "How are you?" I asked as I removed a few strands of her hair from her sweaty face.

She was pale her eyes were red from tears and looking everywhere. I felt her pulse and it was a bit too quick. I kissed her forehead and made her look at me.

"The ambulance is here!" I heard an officer yell over the noise.

"Marie, can you hear me baby?" She nodded between coughs "good, I need you to stay awake ok honey?" I urged as I could see her eyes closing as she was dizzy from the lack of oxygen "Can you feel mommy's chest?" She nodded again "try to match your breathing to hers…" I said softly as I kept my fingers on the vein on her neck to continue monitoring her pulse and gave Bella a meaningful look, telling her to calm down too.

…

…

…

"Why didn't you come home after the game?" Bella cried.

"Because I'm an idiot." I answered with my eyes still on Marie. "Marie, stay awake honey." I insisted.

"Mr. Cullen?" I grave voice said and I lifted my face. "I'm Chief Banner we spoke over the phone the other day?"

"Would you give me a minute please? I'm still checking on my daughter." I said harshly over Sam's barks on the kitchen.

Increasing security around the area my ass.

"My apologies Mr. Cullen." He had the decency to look ashamed. "But we have an ambulance here, do you want them to check on the child?"

"Yes, Marie? Are you dizzy?"

"Yes, daddy." She breathed weakly with a throaty voice.

"Let's take her upstairs, it's too crowded here." I said, Bella nodded and stood up shakily and I turned back to Banner "send the paramedics upstairs to the second door on the right."

"Of course Mr. Cullen but I need to ask you some questions too."

"My brother will be here any minute now he knows everything about what I told you and more. I need to check on my daughter first."

As if on cue I heard Emmett's voice in the distance followed by Rose cursing at some officer to let them come in.

"Edward?!"

"We are the in-laws! Now move your ass, do your work and catch that motherfucker!" She yelled over the noise.

"They didn't catch him?!" I said bewildered.

"You called them?" Bella asked at the same time.

"Yeah, I didn't know what I would find when I came here so I called for back-up. You didn't catch him?!" I turned back to Banner while at the same time checking on Marie.

"No, we are still looking for _her_. She was fast and had a gun-"

Andrew let out a wail choking me at the same time with his death grip.

Fucking idiot!

"I said to give me a minute! And please watch what you say in front of two three years old." I spat as Rose and Emmett came into the living room followed by two paramedics.

"Edward what happened?" Emmett asked alarmed "Is everyone Ok?"

"I don't know, Emmett this is Chief Banner… can you take care of everything while I check on Marie?"

"Sure bro."

"Rosalie can you take Andrew, please?" I said as we made our way upstairs.

"Of course Edward."

She extended her arms so she could take Andrew who cried and fought us off but I finally managed to disentangle him from me.

"Andrew, I'm here buddy I love you… but I need to check on your sister Ok?" I said as Marie got into another mayor coughing fit, she was getting too stressed.

"NO! DADDY!"

"Rose, please take him to his room." Bella urged with pain as she handed Marie to me.

We walked into Bella's room and I sat on her bed with Marie in my lap, Bella sat on the other side of the bed and the paramedics got into action.

"Does she suffer any severe illness or heart diseases?" One of the paramedics asked as he kneeled next to Marie and took out a stethoscope.

"Pulmonary Hypertension." I answered.

"Which type?"

"Arterial, group three." He nodded as he took Marie's pressure. "Just took her heart rate a minute ago, it was 152 per minute."

"You a doctor?" The second paramedic asked.

"Yes, pediatrician and surgeon. But I'm her father… so."

They nodded in agreement.

"What type of treatment does she have?"

"She takes Coumadin in pills everyday and oxygen therapy when she gets into hypoxemia attacks like this one."

"How often do they occur?" The second paramedic asked as the other one took her pulse.

"Not often, only when she gets highly stressed or overexerts herself... this is the third time it has happened." I said kissing her hair.

Bella and I remained silent as the paramedics continued with their work stabilizing Marie. They shot her an anticoagulant and a few minutes later they said to continue with the oxygen therapy for another 30 minutes and to keep her awake another 30 after that. They said she would be alright, that there was no need to take her to the hospital unless she continues choking after the therapy. But she had already calmed down so it was unlikely. When they left I turned to Bella.

"What happened?" I asked quietly as I took Marie from my lap and laid her on the bed, careful with the mask she still had on.

"Sa-am woke me up… I-I thought it-t was you… I wa-as about to go-o downstairs… but was too lazy so I called you instead…" She cried quietly.

"Thank god…" I sighed.

"What did the Chief mean? Why did you talk to him before?"

"I'll explain later, I'm going downstairs I need to talk to Banner. Stay here, I'll send Rose in with Andrew to keep you company." I said kissing her forehead.

"Bu-"

"I'll be back soon." I said standing up and kissing her and Marie's foreheads "Keep her awake."

"Edward!" I walked out of her room and went looking for Rose.

After sending Rose and a whimpering Andrew to Bella's room, I went downstairs in search of Emmett. He was standing at the sliding doors that faced the back garden in the living room. He turned around as he heard me approach.

"What's been happening so far?"

"Banner said that when they barged into the house, she fired in self-defense and ran back to the garden through the kitchen door and jumped the back fence. He says she must be hiding somewhere close, she couldn't have gone far with all the cruisers searching for her."

"What are they doing?" I asked pointing at some officer who was crawling on the floor.

"Looking for traces or clues of her identity… so far they have only found a white gold earring… and a dead rat." He said the last with a meaningful look.

"A rat?" I blanched.

"Yes… like the one you found the night of the gala."

"BANNER!"

I turned to Banner with a glare and he stopped his conversation with another officer and came to me.

"You said I didn't have to worry! Someone had been in the house the night of the phone calls too!"

"I know Mr. Cullen, but with what you told me then we didn't have much to go on. We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise please remain calm."

"She had a fucking gun! One single woman bested 20 of the best trained cops in Canada! How can you ask me to be calm!"

"Edward, calm down bro… let the chief explain."

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and index finger and willed myself to calm down, I needed to clear my head I know but Sam's barks in the kitchen weren't helping. Oh god, someone… someone broke into the house while my kids were asleep.

A gun.

She had a gun.

She could have had a gun then too.

"You said it was a she?" I asked opening my eyes slowly.

"Yes, we didn't get to see her face… she had a balaclava on, but we could see she had brown curly hair and woman body, my men are inspecting the house for clues and evidence of her identity but so far we only found a dead rat in the middle of the living room, which nearly sent Miss Swan into hysterics and this…" He said handing me a ziploc bag with a white gold earring. "Miss Swan says it wasn't hers so it must be from the intruder, we'll run some tests to find any fingerprints."

"What else did Miss Swan say?"

"I didn't ask her much, she seemed pretty shaken and your daughter was having a panic attack, so I'm asking you to take her first thing in the morning to the station for her to give her statement. Two cruisers will stay covering this street for the next few days… we don't know what the intentions of this woman were so I think it's better if we increase surveillance."

You _think_?

"The woman in the Mercedes had brown hair too." Emmett piped in and I turned back to Banner.

"True… do you think it's the same person?" I asked Banner, although I was sure it was.

"I don't want to rush to any conclusions, as I said Mr. Cullen we don't have enough proof, it could have been a coincidence but of course the person in the black Mercedes is the first suspect."

Sam kept barking in the background getting on my nerves and distracting me from the present, the guy must be stressed with so many strangers mingling in the house.

"Would you excuse me for a moment, I need to let the dog out. It's driving me crazy."

"Alright, but please put a leash on him… we locked him in the kitchen as I still have men looking for clues and I don't want him to mess with anything."

"Sure." I said as I took the leash from the coat closet and went to the kitchen.

I opened the door and Sam immediately started chewing on my pants, but he wasn't just chewing… he was pulling me. I put his leash on and took him back to the living room, he kept barking and barking and trying to go to the back garden.

"Sam… its Ok boy… what's gotten into you?"

"Why don't we follow him? Maybe he caught something? He's a bloodhound after all." Emmett suggested.

"That's a good idea." I said walking towards the backyard.

I opened the sliding doors and Emmett, Banner and two other officers followed us down the back porch. Sam kept his nose on the ground and howled a couple of times before breaking into a run, with me tagging along because of the leash to the back of the garden. He stopped in front of the small warehouse, -where the lawnmower, a few supplies and the gas tank were kept under lock because of the kids- and howled again. Then two other officers came forward with flashlights and looked around for anything while Emmett and I stepped back and let them do their work.

"The chain and the lock are forced Sir, as if someone tried to open it." Officer one announced.

"Take photos." Banner commanded.

"Why would she try to go into the warehouse?" Emmett asked me in a whisper.

"The gas tank is in there." I heard myself say in a strange voice and I heard Emmett gulp.

"Fuck…"

"Mr. Cullen, do you have any idea of someone who might hold a grudge against you or Miss Swan?"

…

…

…

"There's someone… but she is on Vancouver at a rehab centre, she is not stable… but she is also isolated so I don't know how she could be behind this."

"What's her name? Maybe she is not working alone… we are going to investigate her anyway."

"Tanya Denali."

"Does she have a residency on the city?" He asked taking out a notepad.

"She used to own an apartment downtown, but I haven't heard from her in years so I don't know if she still has it."

"And what was your relationship with Miss Denali?"

"She's my ex-girlfriend, we dated about eight years ago… she's an addict, when we broke up she tried to run me over and… she has done a few things over the years that tell me she is not over her issues… she's dangerous. As I said she is mental, we think she sees me as my diseased twin… they had a thing in high school." I said avoiding Bella's and I wedding day.

"You said she's at rehab?"

"Yeah, at the Sunshine Coast Health Centre in Vancouver… I talked to her nurse, Victoria Carson on Monday after I saw the black Mercedes at my brother's tomb, she said she's there isolated and in special treatment." I explained as Banner took more notes on the pad.

"Well, we'll make the call first thing in the morning… I'll talk to her doctor, maybe he can be of more help. I'll also have your neighbor Mrs. Barker come to the station for a few questions, when we talked you said her husband told you she saw the woman on the Mercedes, right? Maybe we can do some sketches."

"Yes, thank you."

"Sir! We found something!" Officer 2 said from the ground pointing to a slit on the warehouse with his flashlight, he used his gloved hand to pick up what looked like a few strands of hair and placed them on another Ziploc bag. "They are too short and curly to be Miss Swan's, and the girl is a redhead." He said handing the bag to Banner.

"Good Luke… take this back to the station with the earring for examination." He ordered.

* * *

><p>Two hours later all the officers but two cruisers left, the cruisers where parked at each end of the street and Emmett and I went back inside after Banner left, with orders for me and Bella to stop at the station at nine to give our statements.<p>

"Rough night huh?" Emmett exhaled.

"Yeah, thank you so much for coming. You were of great help."

"Don't even mention it, I'm glad you called. How's the smurf?"

"As good as she could be under the circumstances, the paramedics gave her more oxygen but she'll be Ok." I answered taking the steps to the second floor, he followed me close.

"That's good."

"Really, thank you for coming. I know your weren't feeling well but you already knew about Bella's stalker and if I needed to take Marie to the hospital I wanted someone to stay with Andrew and talk to the police while I couldn't… and I didn't want to call Jasper because of Alice."

"Seriously bro, it's Ok. Believe me, as soon as I heard what was going on I sobered up. You think Tanya's behind this?"

"I hope she isn't… she's too fucked up, I don't even want to think why she would try to get to the gas tank." I shivered at the thought.

"Yeah, that was fucked up."

"Anyway… Tanya is locked and faraway… I seriously don't think it's her, Bella might have gained some other enemy in Ottawa too… the calls were from there remember?"

"True… but I'm still not sure…"

"Yeah… well… me neither, I'll expect anything from that woman." I said as we reached the second floor "God, I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, me too."

"You wanna stay? You and Rose can sleep on the guest room, I'm sure Bella won't mind."

"Thanks man."

After knocking softly I opened the door to Bella's room. She and Rosalie were sitting at the foot of the bed while Marie and Andrew slept bundled together in the middle of the mattress. As soon as Bella saw me she jumped from her place and threw herself at me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight as she cried and trembled in my arms.

"Shh… it's Ok… you are safe."

From the corner of my eye I saw Rose and Emmett leave the room, I turned to give them a thankful look and Emmett nodded before closing the door behind him.

"It's Ok pretty girl… I'm here now…" I tried to sooth both of us as I was still weary and on edge. I don't know how many times I checked the locks downstairs and the windows before Emmett made me come upstairs.

"She fired the gun…"

"I know… but thankfully you weren't there."

"And then I saw the rat… god Edward… someone was here that night too! It didn't just appear here… someone put it in the bathtub! And the kids were here! In the same room! She had a gun!"

"I know baby… I know… shhh… calm down, you are safe now."

"You knew?" She said looking up at me and I grimaced. "Is that why you talked to the police?"

"I suspected something was up, I didn't want to worry you… but it didn't make any sense… and, there's a lot of things I need to tell you but now I want you to rest love. We have to go to the station later, it's going to be a long day. I'll explain then."

"How do you expect me to sleep? Tell me now, what's going on?" She insisted quietly with a scowl.

"Daddy?" Marie whimpered from Bella's bed.

"Coming princess…" I said loudly only to lower my voice again "I'll explain everything tomorrow," I said brushing her tears away with my thumbs "please… just try to relax, you are safe, the kids are safe and that's what matters… now all of us are in need of some sleep, Emmet and Rose are staying they can keep the kids while we go to the station… so please let's go to bed."

"Oh, Edward..." She buried her face on my chest.

"Daddy, I'm scared…" Marie whimpered again and I kissed Bella soundly before turning around.

"But why princess? Prince Daddy is here and he's not going to let anything happen to you." I smiled at her as I laid myself next to her.

"Did they catch the bad guy?" She inquired nervously while Bella laid too and pulled the covers over us.

"You are safe honey, as I said I'm not going to let anything happen to you." I kissed her cheek and she cuddled closer to me. "How are you? Do you still have trouble breathing?"

She shook her head.

"Good, now go to sleep… I'll be here." I said at last looking into Bella's eyes. She was across from me holding Andrew to her chest. I threw my right hand over them and brought them closer to me in a tight embrace.

"You're safe… you're safe." I whispered, more to my benefit than theirs. I closed my eyes feeling beyond exhausted but more on guard and alert than ever.

I guess this is what a heart attack felt like.

* * *

><p>The next morning I put on some clothes I had left at Bella's and took her to the police station to give our statements, she explained how Sam had waken her up around two and she had heard steps downstairs. She had thought it was me, since I had visited her a few times after the kid's had gone to sleep and because I had sent her a text an hour before about me heading to my house, she thought I had meant hers. When it was my turn to go into Banner's office to give my statement I explained my past with Tanya, including Bella's and I wedding day and how we thought she had drugged me. Then I re-told my old statement, about me noticing a black car following us, when I told Bella this when we were done with Banner she had almost killed me on the spot for not telling her about it. I explained her that I wasn't sure about what was happening so I hadn't want to worry her unnecessarily.<p>

"Dammit Edward, I'm not some damsel in distress you need to protect! You should have told me what was going on." She yelled at me as we left the station.

"Bella, I told you… nothing made sense!"

"And it does now?!"

"No, but at least now we know for sure something is up, I had just spotted the same type of car a few times… I wasn't even sure if it was the same… I never saw the plate number and I didn't know someone had put the rat there, I just thought it was strange and didn't dare to think someone had been in the house. We also never knew who was behind the calls… it's all so messed up! We are not even sure if the person in the car and the intruder are the same."

"Please Edward don't ever hide something like this from me again." She said breaking into tears again. I stopped walking and pulled her against me as she cried into my shirt and I kissed her hair.

"I was trying to protect you."

"Edward, leaving me in the dark is not going to protect me… I need to know what's going on."

"I'm sorry… if… if something else happens I'll tell you."

She lifted her face and looked at me with tired, teary eyes.

"Thank you… now, take me home. I need the twins close."

"Sure, but first I wanna stop at home depot."

"Why?"

"I want to secure the house, I can't wait until Monday for the fucking cameras."

Bella and I walked hand in hand into the big store, I noticed how she kept looking everywhere around her. As if expecting someone would jump and attack her from the bushes.

"Stop it, you are safe. Whoever this woman is, I seriously doubt she would attack you in broad day light, especially since she has a thousand cops looking for her."

She huffed.

"Just thirty minutes ago I learned I had a stalker, excuse me for being paranoid." She said as she harshly pulled a cart from the dispenser.

"Hey, take it easy… it's going to be fine."

"It's not me I'm worried about! I fear for the kids!"

"I know me too…" I placed my hands on the cart, with her between my arms and pushed the cart forward with my chest on her back. "If it makes you feel better they won't go to school, at least until after the holidays or if they find the intruder."

"Don't you think that would upset them more? Isn't it better if we act normal?"

"It would be ideal, but I prefer not to risk them… we don't know what she wants, she broke into the house twice, it wouldn't be too hard to get into a school full of people and blend in."

She groaned.

"Oh god, when did life became so complicated."

I kissed the back of her head.

"Well, it wouldn't be us if we didn't have some drama over our heads." I tried to tease but she just glared at me.

Bella stared at me wide eyed as I threw stuff and more stuff in the cart. We were on the Safety & Security alley and I kept throwing in everything that I thought useful. Everything from emergency blackout lights, solar powered door and window alarms, battery smoke detectors, master locks, sensors and chains went in.

"What are these?" She asked holding a package close to her nose.

"Glass breakage detectors."

"Oh… How do you know about this stuff?"

I shrugged.

"Andrew and I used to watch cops as kids."

An hour later I drove us back home, we were in silence the whole ride. The tension was thick, both of us overwhelmed by what was happening. I kept praying to my lucky stars that Tanya was out of this, I feared what that woman was able to do in her out of mind state. Banner had called when Bella and I were at the cashier, they had called the rehab centre but her doctor wasn't available, he had started the Thanksgiving holidays earlier and had gone to Halifax with his family and wouldn't be back until Sunday. So they were going to try to reach him to his personal number, but so far he hadn't been answering.

When I turned the corner on Bella's street I groaned when I saw my dad's car on the driveway. I had canceled all my appointments for today and ignored his calls, so I guessed he had called Em and Jasper looking for me. I parked next to my dad's Mercedes, opened Bella's door and helped her out of the car, took her hand and walked together to face the Cullen Inquisition.

I used my key to open the door, and as soon as we put foot in the house we heard light quick footsteps coming from the kitchen. Two seconds later the twins appeared in the foyer and threw themselves at Bella and me.

"Dad! Weh were you?" Andrew asked with a concerned look as Rose, Em, dad and mom appeared behind them.

"We have a surprise for you…" I smiled at them "guess what did mommy and I got you for lunch?"

"Dunno."

"Surprise!" Bella said handing them each a happy meal.

"YEI!" Both cheered, completely forgetting about their previous worry.

Kids.

"Do they have a toy inside?" Marie smiled at us.

"I don't know honey, why don't you look?"

"Sweet!" Andrew said happily before disappearing into the living room with Marie close behind him.

"Careful with the carpet!" Bella told them before we faced my family.

"Oh god sweetie." Mom hugged Bella "I can't believe all you went through last night… how are you?"

"I'm fine Esme, thank you. I'm just a little shaken."

"What did the police say? And why didn't you call us too last night?" Dad demanded.

"Sorry dad, it all happened so fast… it was also late and I didn't want to worry mom. Besides, Em and Rose were here… we weren't alone. I would have called Jazz too but I didn't want to worry Alice either."

"I understand, but what about this morning?"

"Jeez dad I don't know! I have a lot on my mind already, give me a fucking break."

"Edward." Bella said sternly and I sighed.

"Sorry," I sighed again "hadn't slept at all… "

"That's understandable… anyway, what did the police say?" he continued.

"They are examining an earring and some hair they found… and doing some research."

"Yes, Emmett told us about the black car… and everything else, wow we are really speechless… why didn't you tell us what was going on?" Mom inquired, still holding Bella in a half hug.

"I've been asking myself the same thing." Bella muttered under her breath.

"Because even I didn't understand what was going on, I didn't know if anything was related or if it was a coincidence, the only thing we know now is that the person who put the first rat here is the same one who broke in yesterday, but we are not sure if it's the stalker. Yes, they are both women with brown hair but that's the only thing we've got… there's no more evidence although I do think it was the same person, Banner thinks the same but he doesn't want to rush to any conclusions."

"What about the phone calls?" Rose asked.

"Those were from an Ottawa phone number, but that's the only thing we know…"

"Well thank god you and the kids are Ok and nothing major happened," Mom caressed Bella's back "You look tired, I made lunch… you want to eat something before you take a much needed sleep? Rose and I can take care of the kids."

"But, don't you have a grand Thanksgiving dinner to prepare for tomorrow?" Bella asked as mom pulled her towards the kitchen.

"My family is more important, I already called the caterers and Mrs. Cope is taking care of everything."

"Thank you Esme."

The rest of us followed them to the kitchen and sat on the breakfast table as mom worked her magic in Bella's kitchen.

"Jasper called," Emmett started as he devoured some of Andrew's favorite cookies, he was going to be pissed when he found out "he was wondering where everyone was and why we weren't answering the phones, I had to tell him what was going on but he promised he wouldn't say anything to Alice, not that he had planned to tell her anything, and even if he wanted to she is not speaking to him." Emmett snickered at the last part.

"Did he get her Hägen-Dazs instead of Ben & Jerry's?" I laughed.

"No, he called her a fatty." Emmet laughed and everybody joined him.

We talked about lighter things during lunch while the kids played on the kitchen floor with Sam – who hasn't left Marie's side since last night – and their new plastic toys. When we were done I stood up and went for the home depot bags that I had left in the foyer.

"Em," I called as I re-entered the kitchen "would you help me with this?" I said lifting the bags into the air.

"Sure, wow… did you get the whole Safety & Security alley?" Emmet asked wide eyed as I handed him two bags.

"Funny," I deadpanned "you can start with the sensors… I'll install the blackout lights."

"Alright, Ethan Hunt."

And that's how the afternoon progressed, between Emmett and I it took us almost six hours to install everything and secure every window and door in the house, I added some extra chains and locks to the warehouse outside and installed a few movement sensor lights on the garden and front porch. While mom and Rose watched out for the kids, Bella napped and I made a few calls to the security company. When Bella woke a couple of hours later I explained to her how everything worked.

"Wow." She had said, playfully stepping in and out from the sensor lights' range. Every time the light would turn on as the sensor would catch her movements.

"Now you are safer, if any alarm goes off it automatically sends a signal to the police so they'll call and ask you for the safe word."

"Which is?" She asked pulling me to sit on the porch swing with her.

"Twilight, only you and I know it… so careful and don't mention it to anyone. They'll call, if you don't know it, give them the wrong one or no one answers they'll come immediately."

She nodded.

"Thank you… it's crazy but I do feel better with all this."

"Is not crazy, after last night I don't want to risk anything." I kissed her temple and she grimaced.

"What?" I asked worriedly.

"You stink…" She snickered covering her nose and I laughed out loud.

"Well, if you think I stink then I suggest you not to get too close to Emmett."

She laughed.

"I don't have to ask if you are staying tonight, right?"

"I may not have officially moved in, but I'm never going… sorry about last night… I should have come home."

"Why didn't you?" She asked, all trace of humor gone.

"I thought you were still mad at me… and I don't know… you didn't say anything about it in the texts. You just said you were going to bed, not an _I'll wait for you_ or _see you later_… or something like that."

"I thought it was stated… we had agreed you'd move in, you don't need an invitation… pretty boy, this is your house too… stop calling things mine." She said taking my hand in hers and tracing the veins on my wrist with lithe fingers.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you keep saying _Bella's_ room, _Bella's_ kitchen, _Bella's_ bathroom, _Bella's_ guestroom… it's _Edward's_ too, it's ours, it's _our_ home."

"You have no idea how much it means for me to hear you say that."

"Well it's true, now stop being all sappy and gimme those lips." She stole a kiss.

"You are in a better mood than you were this morning." I chuckled nuzzling her neck.

"Yeah, Esme was right… I needed a nap and I do feel better after all you did to the house, thank you."

"You're welcome." I said massaging the back of her neck and she rested her forehead on my shoulder.

"You need to rest too by the way." She purred.

"I might take nap latter too… would you join me? In _our_ room," kiss "on _our_ bed?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Of course, and hopefully we won't get interrupted this time." She said mischievously.

Minutes later, after a heated make-out session Bella and I walked back into the house hand in hand through the back door. Everyone was in the kitchen, the twins were sitting on the kitchen island as Rose and mom fed them some casserole. It was nice to see how the twins where warming up to Rose, I think last night when she had kept them and Bella company must have meant a lot to them.

"Mhmm that smells divine…" I groaned as my stomach rumbled.

"There's more on the stove sweetie." Mom smiled at me "Marie and I made dinner, isn't that right honey?"

"Yes! I help nana!"

I chuckled.

"Well, no wonder it smells delicious." I kissed her head.

I sat on a barstool and brought Bella between my legs, she reclined onto my chest and I kissed her cheek.

"I'll go to my house to pick up some clothes while my family is here… you'll be Ok while I'm gone?"

"Uhm, actually your mom already did that for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I asked her if she could go and pick something up for you while you were working outside. I guessed you'd be tired when you were done so I wanted to make things easier for you."

"Thank you, I wasn't too comfortable leaving."

"I live to please… now, dinner?"

* * *

><p>As expected, that night the kids had refused to sleep alone in their rooms so that's why Bella, the kids… <em>Sam<em> and I were currently all tangled together on Bella's room, Bella had pouted a little of course but the kids come first. Besides she wasn't too opposed at having them with us tonight, she had tried to remain positive and cheery the rest of the evening but I still caught that trace of fear on her eyes when she thought I wasn't looking. She didn't fool me, I knew she was terrified but tried to put a brave face on for the twins. It would be in the way she would ask Marie to stay far from the windows, or how she would order Andrew no to go to the backyard. So I didn't say anything when she came into the room with Marie and Andrew with their pajamas on ready for bed and Sam right on her heels, and if I was being honest neither of us would be able to sleep without them close, even if they were next door.

I petted Sam as he nestled himself by my feet, Bella and I had pampered him with treats all day as it was him who alerted Bella of someone being on the house. If Sam hadn't been on alert… I didn't dare to think about what would have happened.

He was our own personal savior.

As Bella turn off the lights, we all got as comfortable as we could on the thankfully king size bed, and of course as it was time to sleep Andrew had to pick up that moment to be all talkative and curious.

"Mommy, when is Santa coming?" He asked as he snuggled next to me.

"Soon baby, in just a few weeks."

"Was me good this year?"

Bella and I chuckled in the darkness.

Our kid was awesome.

"It's _I_ honey, not _me…_ and I don't know, pretty boy what do you think?"

"Well, apart from a few incidents with cutting your teacher's hair and destroying nana's gnomes…" I mused and I heard him catch his breath "I think you'll get a few things this year." I poked his tummy.

"Can I get a tank?"

"Maybe."

"Mommy, when we put the Christmas tree? Me need to draw my letter."

Bella lifted her eyes to me and I smiled down at her.

"What about this weekend? Daddy can put the star at the top this year." She beamed at me.

"It would be an honor." I kissed her lips softly as my heart melted a little.

Surely this Christmas would be a whole lot different than last year's… and even better than the one I shared with Bella –even though I had proposed to her- as now we had two little angels to share it with.

It was going to be the best Christmas ever.

"I want a chalk board so I can play teacher with my dolls." Marie said suddenly, crawling to sit on my stomach and I put a pillow next to her so she wouldn't accidentally fall to the floor.

"Anything else you wanna ask Santa for?" Bella caressed her cheek sweetly.

"A sister."

Bella stiffened on her side of the bed and I laughed whole heartedly, even in the dark I could tell she was blushing.

"Oh! Me too! But I prefer a boy brother."

"If it's a brother it's a boy." I corrected Andrew between laughs but he just stared at me in confusion so I let it pass.

"What you gonna ask Santa daddy?"

As soon as Marie asked I took Bella's left hand and kissed her ring finger, hoping she'd get the hint and rested our joined hands on my chest above my heart.

"Me? I have the most beautiful princess, the bravest soldier on earth and the best cheese cake maker in the world… what else would I ask for?"

"What about you mommy?"

Bella squeezed my hand.

"I'm on the same page as daddy."

* * *

><p><strong>See? I do love my readers! I seriously don't know how I pulled this through but I'm exhausted haven't slept too much but I just had this urge to write after your amazing reviews! Thank you soo much for you love for my story and for still being with me... as you can tell we are heading towards the end... my guess is 8 more chaps... but I also have another surprise I'll reveal later.<strong>

**Thank you to my awesome beta Cattinson for beta'ing this in a mere of hours and also huge thanks to my rock and pre-reader Lisopera.**

**Also, I'm not a doctor... far from it so I'm not sure how accurate is Marie's sickness I do my research but I could have get something wrong but as LissLove said I'm taking some creative license here ;)**

**Next chapter will be up in ten days... this time for real ;)**

**LOS AMO! PLEASE REVIEW! I wanna know what you guys thought! I'm fascinated by all your theories!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	31. Chapter 31: Then

**Hi!**

**Thank you sooooo much for the freaking awesome reviews from last chapter! I wished it had taken me 3 days to update this one too but I just couldn't.**

**I love your theories! About 40% of you think it's Tanya, the other 40% thinks it's Rene and the other 10% is between Mike and Lauren... and I think someone suggested it might be Liberty Ross? I almost fell of my chair laughing when I read that!**

**I wanna clear something, I think there was some confusion with this line:**

**"They are too short and curly to be Miss Swan's, and the girl is a redhead." He said handing the bag to Banner.**

**The girl is a readhead part he is talking about Marie, not that the intruder is a redhead, he means that the _brown_ hair doesn't belong to either of them so it must be from the intruder's.**

**And last but not least, a while ago the second chapter had been pulled from FFN because according to someone it was to steamy so I had posted it on my blog but I hadn't realized the second chapter had also been pulled from my blog until a reader said it, so I cut the "steamy" part out and reposted here in FFN but you can read the whole thin on TWCS if someone else hasn't read it.**

**Thank you so much to my beta Cattinson and my awesome pre-reader for helping me with this chapter! You guys are awesome!**

**SM owns the world!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 31: Then<p>

"Then" – Brad Paisley

I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you  
>You had me mezmorized<br>And three weeks later, in the front porch light  
>taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight<br>I hadn't told you yet  
>but I thought I loved you then<p>

And now you're my whole life  
>now you're my whole world<br>I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl  
>Like a river meets the sea,<br>stronger than it's ever been.  
>We've come so far since that day<br>And I thought I loved you then

"Daddy?" I hear Andrew's voice somewhere in the distance.

"Shh… let him sleep, daddy had a rough day yesterday."

"But's snowing!"

"I know baby, but you have to wait till he's up."

I drift back to sleep.

…

…

_Brown eyes… perfect, smooth, pale skin…_

…

…

"Daddy? Are you up now?"

"Mommy said not to wake him up!" I hear Marie hiss "He's tired." She says worriedly.

"But… I wanna play…"

…

…

_Her moans drive me wild… her touch wakes up every nerve in my body._

…

…

"Edward… pretty boy, are you up?"

"No." I mumble and I hear her snicker.

"Come on baby, breakfast is ready… I made pancakes á la Bella."

"Mhhmm… Bella with syrup…" I mumble into my pillow and I hear her gasp before she starts laughing. "You are so up!"

"Oh, believe me I'm up." I say turning around with a lazy grin to face her, her eyes flicker down below my waist for a sec before looking back at me.

"Pleasant dreams?" She smiles.

"The best."

"Care to share?"

"Uhmm… what about if I show you instead?" I say and with a swift movement I'm rolling us over so now I'm hovering over her.

"Edward!" She squeals before I silence her mouth with a kiss.

"The kids?" I ask against her mouth.

"TV room."

I stand up from the bed and not 5 seconds have passed and I'm back after locking the door.

"Where were we?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

"You were about to show me what were you dreaming about."

"Oh, that's right." I smile devilish at her before attacking her neck.

In a matter of seconds her clothes are gone, and I'm now leaving a light wet trail with my tongue down her body across her stomach. My cock is threatening to pop out of my pajama pants and Bella's hands are all over my back. My tongue flickers over her navel and a whimper escapes her mouth when my index finger traces her opening.

"Edward…" She moans.

"Baby, please… let me taste you."

She nods frantically.

"So eager Miss Swan…" I whisper going down on her.

"Only for you…" She breathes.

I kiss the juncture between her hipbone and inner thigh, then the other side before placing a wet kiss on her apex. She wiggles under me and I place my hands on either side of her hips to keep her still.

Slowly, I lick all the way from her entrance to her clit, where I tease and tug at it a little making her body squirm in pleasure. Then I gently suck her inner lips into my mouth, taking my time savoring the juices coming out of her entrance. With my fingers I start stroking her as I continue to kiss, lick and suck every part of her. My thumb, drawing soft circles around her clit makes her hold the sheets beneath her in a death grip.

"Oh god, Edward… oh…"

I continue with my ministrations, licking, lapping and exploring all of her, her hips started making the occasional thrust into my face and I inserted my tongue inside of her, thrusting in and out while my thumb was still working her clit. She let out a small cry and took a hold of my hair.

"Oh yes… there… there baby."

With another swipe of her entrance, my tongue moves back to her clit knowing it's the most stimulating part of the women body. I take it into my mouth, enveloping it with my lips and then releasing it only to flicker and roll my tongue around it while I simultaneously stroke her insides with my fingers.

"Edward!" She moans and I know she's closer.

I continue to pump my fingers in and out of her, quickening the pace as she gets closer and closer. Her whimpers and cries are desperate as they respond to my touch and my cock –hard as ever- begs for some attention and it's when I lightly graze her clit that she comes hard onto my fingers.

She falls limp onto the mattress while I lick her clean, when I'm done I move upwards and lay next to her as I burry my face in her neck.

"You liked it?" I mumble after a few minutes, kissing her skin and she snorts.

She turns to her side and crashes her lips on mine I take a hold of her leg and hitch it around my waist. She presses herself against me, only the thin layer of my pajama pants separating us and I think I'm about to come then and there.

"My turn." She mumbles still kissing me.

"Your turn for what?" I ask before thrusting my tongue into her mouth, giving her a taste of herself.

"To go down on you." She says firmly and I can only beam at her, freaking finally, but just when we are about to move…

"Mommy!"

I groan as I let my forehead fall on Bella's neck.

"Bella… I swear to god I love my son but dammit, he has awful timing." My voice is muffled against her skin. She tries to stifle her laugh by covering her mouth with her hand but fails miserably.

"Mommy?! I'm humgry!" Andrew calls from the other side of the door knocking desperately and demanding to be fed.

"Coming baby!"

"You sure did." I tease earning a playful slap on my chest. "I'm sorry… couldn't help myself…" I apologize kissing her softly, she responds instantly not helping with my aching problem and I thrust instinctively. "God Bella… I miss you."

"I miss you too…"

"I can't wait to be with you again." I whisper against her ear, grazing her earlobe with my teeth.

"What about… what about tonight?" She asks timidly.

"Tonight what?"

She stays quiet, a meaningful look on her eyes and it downs on me.

"Oh… tonight?"

"Yeah… after dinner?"

"Tonight tonight?" I ask incredulous.

"Yes pretty boy… tonight tonight." She smiles shyly.

"Are you sure?" I place a lock of hair behind her ear. She takes a hold on my neck and pulls me to her, forehead against forehead.

"I want you… I need you I don't want to wait anymore…"

"I need you too… but baby, I don't want to rush into anything… if you are not ready don't worry about me, I was just saying..."

"I'm ready… please Edward… I need you I want you to make love to me."

I hold her tighter in my arms and kiss her soundly.

"So, tonight?" I ask breathless, with a warm smile spreading over my face.

"Tonight." She smiles back.

* * *

><p>"I'M SUPERMAN!"<p>

"Andrew! Careful with the furniture! You are going to hurt yourself!" Bella calls after an excited Andrew.

Last night Bella had given him my old superman cape, the one she and I found in my mother's basement when we found Andrew's album as well. He saw it this morning in his room and decided he was ready to leave Captain America behind and he now called himself Clark Kent.

"But mommy! I'm steel man! I'm invincible!"

Bella groaned.

"Ok honey, but you are also human so please be careful!" Bella yelled as Andrew kept jumping on the living room couch pretending to fly.

"Edward… please can you help me get them ready? I need to clean the kitchen."

"Of course." I kiss her temple as I pass her and place my empty coffee mug in the sink.

"I already put their clothes on their beds… but don't put Andrew's fancy shirt on until we leave for your parents', leave him in his undershirt… I don't want to risk him ruining it before we go."

"Yes ma'am… C'mon mini Kent, let's get you out of those stinky pajamas." I say throwing him over my shoulder.

"I'M FLYING!" He squeals and I chuckle as I take Marie's hand and go upstairs.

I help Marie get into her dress first as I know Andrew will take more time with him flying all over the second floor. Bella had picked out this cute little knitted purple-pink-brownish dress with pink leggings and camel boots. When she was done I didn't know what the hell do with her hair so I just put a hair band with a huge ass white bow on top on her head. Satisfied with my work I smiled down at my pretty little girl and sent her to go and play with her dolls.

Now, the real challenge.

"Andrew?"

Silence.

Fuck.

"Andrew, c'mon bud the sooner we get to nana's house the sooner you'll get to eat nana's awesome cookies."

Silence.

I started looking around but couldn't find him, until I spotted a suspiciously, too big for a pillow bundle under the covers on Bella's… and _I's_ room.

"Andrew?" I called again, deciding to play his game. "Andrew? Oh well… I guess we lost him…" I sighed dramatically "but that's good, that means more cookies and candies for me." I heard him gasp and I stifled my laugh.

"Anyway, I guess I'll take a nap before we leave." I say throwing myself over him carefully and holding a squealing Andrew against my chest "Oh! What a nice pillow I have here!"

"Daddy! It's me!"

I faked a gasp.

"The pillow talks!"

"No!" Andrew laughs coming out from under the covers "It's me dad! Andrew!"

"Oh! There you are! I thought you had gone flying to Krypton!" I say tickling him.

"No! Daddy stop!" He started swatting my hands away between fits of laugher.

"You going to be good?"

"YES!"

"You going to take a bath?!" I laughed.

"DAAAD!" He laughed harder, his cheeks bright as tomatoes.

"You going to take a bath?!" I insisted as I tickled him harder.

"YES!"

"I can't hear you!"

"YEEES!"

"PROMISE?!"

"DAD!" He was crying now and I blew a raspberry on his tummy. Seconds later I felt the mattress move and suddenly Bella and Marie were clinging on my back.

"Hey!" I protested.

"Don't worry son, I'm here to save you from Dad Luthor!" Bella screamed as she pulled me onto my back, between the three of them and they started attacking me.

"Hey! How's this fair?!" I started laughing, but not because of the three of them tickling me but because of the whole situation.

"Damn it! I hate it that you are not ticklish!" Bella complained pulling back.

"I know our kids got that from you." I grinned devilishly at her and on cue, I flipped her onto her back and as soon as my fingers touched her she started shrieking.

"NO! FUU- Damn EDWARD STOP!" She laughed hysterically while Andrew jumped on my back –his little chubby fingers doing nothing against my skin- and Marie giggled next to me.

"Mommy! I save you!"

"EDWARD! STOOP I-I I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"Or what?!" I challenged her.

"Or… or I'll call off tonight!"

I stopped instantly with a groan.

"Aww! Pretty girl, you not playing fair." I complained and she kissed me soundly.

Little minx.

"Ewww!"

That would be Andrew of course.

"Daddy, why do you and mommy kiss on the mouth?"

And that would be Marie.

"Because daddy loves mommy." I answered simply, rolling to lie on my back trying to catch my breath after all the tickling.

"So, if you love mommy and you and mommy are boyfrwend and girlfrwend… will you get married?"

…

…

…

Damn, this is something Bella and I really need to talk about… what are we telling the kids? We are on the same page I know, but we still haven't talked too much about the future. We knew already it was a matter of _when_ rather than _if_.

"Why so curious honey?" I ask frowning and she shrugs.

"Dunno."

"Well Marie…" Bella starts slowly "Right now… daddy and I are very very very happy how we are… so don't worry about grown up's stuff." She poked her nose.

"Ok… but you getting marry someday?"

"Why the sudden urge?" I ask her as I see something in her eyes… longing?

"I want daddy living wiv us." She says quietly.

Bella smiled tenderly at her before turning to me in askance and I nod… feeling a little nervous for some reason.

"Well baby, actually… daddy _is_ moving in with us."

"He is?" She whispered with wide eyes.

"Yes… daddy's moving in this weekend." Bella smiled as both of them stared at us with wide eyes.

"Really? Daddy's living wiv us now?" Andrew's voice broke as his bottom lip started quivering.

"Why are you crying bud? Don't you want me here?" I poked his tummy, trying to keep my own tears at bay.

He shut his eyes close and buried his face in my chest, Marie following after him and I wrapped my arms around them.

"Shh… it's alright…" I soothed them as Bella throws her arm over us, getting into our group hug.

"You really living with us?" Marie whimpered and I kiss the top of her head.

"I am… this is home."

We stayed like that for a while we even dozed a little until Bella noticed it was getting late. So we quickly stood up and I took Andrew to his room to get him ready while Bella took a much needed shower.

"Dad, me not wanna wear that." Andrew said making a face at the little outfit Bella had picked out for him.

"Why not little man?" I asked taking his pajamas off and getting the tub ready, I could smell syrup all over his hair.

Don't ask me how it got there.

"It's boring… can I wear my pajamas?"

"Sorry buddy, but no. It's a fancy occasion but I'll tell you what, you can wear your superhero cape if you want."

"YES! Uncls Emmet can be Zod!"

"Sure." I chuckled as I got him into the bath.

"Can I have bubbles?"

"Sorry kiddo, no time for that." I said putting a considerate amount of shampoo at the top of his head.

When Andrew was finally ready, I went back to our room and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Honey? Can I come in?"

"Sure!"

I opened the door and found Bella at the vanity mirror drying her hair wearing only her bathrobe.

"You mind if I take a shower?"

"Of course not, there are clean towels on that shelf." She pointed out with her chin. I passed around her and kissed her bare shoulder on the way, she smiled at me over the mirror and I winked at her.

I opened the shower stall and turned on the shower head, while I waited for the water to heat I stripped my clothes.

"I like this." She said as I walked under the spray.

"Me naked in your shower?" I asked knowingly as I had caught her checking me out through the mirror."

She rolled her eyes and turned on her seat.

"I'm talking about this…" she says gesturing between us with her hand "this normalcy, how we just fell into place so easily."

I smiled at her across the steamed glass as I pour shampoo on my hand.

"Yes… now hopefully the police will catch the intruder and we can finally continue with our lives without any more drama."

"It'll get boring you know?"

"I like boring, I prefer boring… although with Clark Kent across the hall I can't see that happening."

She giggled.

"True… anyway, who's going today?"

"My godparents, Aro and Renata who you met when you spent Thanksgiving with us back then and a few times after that… then Tyler, Gianna, Jasper´s parents, Jessica and her boyfriend and Lee will also come."

"And the Denali's." She stated.

"And the Denali's… Bella if you are not comfortable we can always have take out and stay here, it's not a big deal."

"Pretty boy, I can't do that to Esme… she was so excited about the twins being there on their first holiday and she wanted to introduce them to her friends, besides I'm fine… it wasn't their fault."

I wash the last remains of soap, turn off the shower and step out drying myself with a towel. When I'm dry enough I wrap the towel around my waist and walk to stand behind her on her vanity, circling her waist with my arms and burying my face in her hair.

"I don't know what to do… I want us to move forward, but at the same time I worry this will set us back."

"Why would the Denali's set us back?"

I shrugged and she turned on my arms to make me look at her.

"Edward… what happened at the gala was nothing they just took me by surprise… I love you, I want you to be here with us, in our house and be the father our kids need… I won't change my mind. I want this."

"Promise?" I asked pouting a little and her eyes warmed instantly.

"Promise." She stood on her toes and met my lips with hers.

* * *

><p>"Andrew! We are leaving bud!"<p>

"I'm flying!" He cheers jumping on his bed.

"That's awesome kiddo but if we don't go now we'll get stuck in traffic so c'mon." I said catching him mid air in my arms.

"Where's mommy?"

"Finishing her makeup, why?"

"I need to pee."

"Oh, of course you need to with all that jumping. Here, let me take you." I said walking into his and Marie´s bathroom. I put him back on the floor and unbutton his pants, then frowned as he sat on the toilet.

"You pee sitting on the toilet?" I asked and he looked at me as if I had grown a second head.

"What?"

"No, nothing…" I murmured thinking about it, he's almost four…

…

…

"Are you done?" I ask when I heard him finish, he nods and I help him stand up. After buttoning his pants I wash his hands and we head downstairs where Marie was playing with Sam.

"Dad, can Sam come with us?" She asked hopefully.

"Sorry princess, but no."

"Awww, please daddy… he will be all alone here, what if the bad guy comes again." She whined and my heart sank.

I let out a sigh.

"Alright, but you taking care of him and you have to make sure he doesn't make a mess."

"Yes! I promise, thank you daddy!" she hugged my legs happily.

Yeah, I was a pussy where my pretty little girl was concerned.

I opened the coat closet and grabbed Sam's purple leash, he was male but Marie had insisted on getting him a purple leash, and as I said I'm a pussy.

"Ready?" I heard Bella say as she hit the foyer.

She was wearing a dark purple, fitted turtle neck dress with black thighs and boots.

She looked sexy as hell.

She gave me a smirk as she noticed my wandering eyes.

"You look awesome too." She said eyeing me in my black dress pants and tan sweater and I laughed.

"I didn't say anything." I helped her with her coat.

"Oh baby, you didn't have to… you need a tissue? You're still drooling a bit." She teased.

I rolled my eyes at her, but discretely traced my thumb under my lip.

Just in case.

After buckling the kids in their car seats in Bella's SUV, and putting Sam in the trunk although he immediately jumped to the middle seats next to Marie we took off to my parent's house. All the way I couldn't stop grinning my cheeks were starting to hurt now. Even though I was nervous about having Bella and the Denali's under the same roof, I couldn't help my happiness. Aside from the potential threat with the intruder, I was utterly happy… Bella and I were finally at that place. I had my family back, I had a home now where we would live and start new memories together, enjoying what life had to bring and also to enjoy watching our kids grow up and learn new things.

When Bella left, I loved her then… but now? Now it was something I couldn't explain… it was something that overshadowed what I felt for her then. She owned me in body and soul, and our kids were my reason for breathing. I was happy four years ago, but now? Now I'm thrilled, blessed, ecstatic, jubilant, elated… pure bliss. Life couldn't get any better than this.

I took Bella's hand and threaded my fingers with hers, kissing the back of hand before placing our joined hands on my lap.

"Having a good day?"

"You have no idea." I answered keeping my eyes on the road.

"Did they give you trouble getting ready?"

"Nah, but uhmm honey, when I was helping Andrew… I took him to the bathroom… he still pees sitting?"

"Oh, yeah I tried to teach him once… but he didn't get it, I'm a woman so is not like I could show him how." She smirked.

"Oh."

"Yes, and Charlie left Ottawa when he was still too young so he didn't have a male figure… but now that you are here, what about if you teach him?"

"Me?"

"Yes" She beamed "teach him to pee like grownups… for the _first_ time."

…

…

"Ok." I said a little overwhelmed.

It might sound stupid to be overwhelmed about something like this, but teaching him to do something, for the first time… it was my first chance to be a dad, my first first.

She squeezed my hand as if knowing what I was thinking, but I kept my eyes ahead, not wanting to get emotional.

* * *

><p>It was almost six when I parked in my parent's driveway, a few cars were already there which meant some if not all the guests had already arrived. We unbuckled the kids and quickly carried them inside as it had started to rain, the light layer of snow that had gathered this morning disappearing.<p>

"Hello?!" I called over the loud buzz of people coming from the big living room as I closed the door behind us.

"Oh! They're finally here!" I heard my mom gush and then the clacking of heels.

"Hi mom." I said as she appeared on the hallway followed by Dad, Renata and Aro.

"Nana! Look! Sam's here!" Andrew cheered ignoring the curious eyes behind mom.

"Oh! That's great!" Mom faked a smile and I bit my lip to disguise my amusement.

It's not like mom hated dogs, she was okay with them but I guess she feared Sam could destroy any piece of valuable furniture. In my opinion she should be more afraid of her own grandson, Andrew was wearing his cape and itching to get out of my arms to go find Emmet.

"I'll keep him leashed." I mouthed and she sent me a grateful look.

"Thank you. Now… Marie, Andrew I want you to meet some very special people."

As soon as Mom turned towards my godparents, Marie hid her face in Bella's neck.

"These are Aro and Renata, very good friends of ours… Aro, Renata these are my beautiful grandkids, Marie Esme and Andrew Charles Cullen." Mom said proudly.

"I'm older!" Andrew piped his standard icebreaker and of course everyone laughed.

"Wow Edward, they are definitely your kids. I've never seen such resemblance like this before." Aro commented with a wide smile, his wrinkles highlighted with the effort.

"Yes, but they also have their mother's nose and beautiful eyes' shape." Renata smiled warmly. "Hello Bella, is nice to see you again… and looking beautiful as ever." She hugged her.

"Thank you Renata, you are looking good too… Marie? Can you say hi to Aunt Renata?" Bella looked down at Marie but Marie didn't move "Please baby, they are nice people and want to meet you." She kissed the top her head. "She is shy with strangers just give her a few minutes."

"It's Ok, we understand." Renata said sweetly.

"C'mon, let's move to the living room…" Dad suggested and we followed him back to the big living room. "Everyone's there, we were waiting for you."

"Bella!" Gianna stood up as soon as she saw us.

"Hi Gianna, I'm glad you came." They hugged each other.

"Me too! Hi Edward."

"Hi Gianna, good to see you." I kissed her cheek.

"What's up with Marie?" She asked in concern caressing her hair as Marie still had her face in Bella's neck.

"She's a little overwhelmed with so many people." Bella said softly "Edward, can you hold her? She's getting bigger and my back is killing me."

"Sure." I said putting Andrew on the floor who strangely stayed by my side and took Marie in my arms.

"Wow Cullen… mama-SUV, kids, dogs, settled… you are getting old dude!" Tyler said wrapping his arm around Gianna's shoulders.

"Yeah, it was about time."

We heard someone choking in the background, and we turned to see Jessica hovering over some dude whose back was to us, I guessed he was her famous boyfriend. He walked out of the room and Jessica followed behind him as Lee rolled his eyes.

"Emmett wasn't kidding they are your living portrait… especially Superman over here." Tyler said fist bumping Andrew who smiled shyly at him.

"Tyler, this is Andrew and this little princess here is Marie… kids, this is Uncle Tyler he was mine and Uncle Emmett's best friend in high school."

"You tall." Andrew pointed out and Tyler laughed.

There was a loud cry in the background and I saw Irina walking out of the living room with a baby, Laurent following behind them. Then someone cleared his throat and we turned to see Aunt Carmen and Uncle El.

"Edward… Bella, nice to see you again." Eleazar greeted us politely, but I could see remorse in his eyes as he eyed our kids.

"Hello Uncle El… you looking good."

"Yeah, well not as good as you… it's a nice family you have here." He said awkwardly and the room fell silent.

"Thank you… Bella," God dammit this was so awkward "you remember Carmen and Eleazar?"

"Of course… nice of you to come tonight." Bella stretched her hand towards them to shake it.

I need a drink.

ASAP.

"Thank you so much for letting us being here tonight… I know it might be awkward but, we thought it would be best to leave the past in the past… Carlisle and Esme are family and we consider Edward a son to us." Eleazar continued.

No wonder he was a lawyer, straight to the gut as always.

"No problem, I'm glad you could come. You… you had nothing to do with what happened so…" Bella shrugged and it was next to impossible not to take Bella and the kids out of the house, I finally had them back and I didn't want anything jeopardize it.

"Thank you… we never got the chance to talk but, we still feel bad for what happened so we still offer our apologies… I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive us." Carmen added.

"There's nothing to forgive, and I wish not to talk about that anymore…" Bella pointed to the kids with her chin "at least for tonight."

"Of course, we understand" Eleazar nodded looking down "Now, we'd love to meet your children too… if it's Ok with you?" He asked hopeful.

"Of course."

Introductions were made, and as time passed Marie got comfortable enough to show her face but stayed in my arms although I noticed she kept staring at Irina with curious eyes, I guessed as when she met Rosalie she fell for her long blond hair and when Andrew got over his sudden shyness it didn't take him more than ten seconds to charm every women in the room, including the Denali sisters. Ironically it was Irina who broke Marie's walls after a while introducing her to her baby, André to Marie who has now hovering over the infant sitting in his booster on the floor next to the single couch I was sitting on with her.

"How old is he?" She asked with a bright smile from my lap.

"He's almost one dear, here… shake this in front of him he likes it." Irina smiled handing Marie a stuffed octopus with tiny bells.

"Pretty baby, pretty baby." Marie sang happily.

"He's beautiful Irina." Alice said sitting next to her on the big couch on the other side of the booster.

"Yes, he looks like you." I added.

"Thanks, although he's teething so he's a bit cranky right now and the teething ring doesn't seem to help." She said with concern.

"Have you tried a frozen spoon?" Bella suggested sitting next to me on the arm rest and handing me a beer, I kissed her shoulder in thanks.

"What?" Irina asked curiously.

"With the twins I used to rub a frozen spoon around the gums… it seemed to work better than the ring, it numbed the pain."

"Oh, never thought about it… thanks!"

"You're welcome." Bella nodded.

"Aww look at you all mommy 411!" Alice said excitedly and Bella chuckled.

"Was it too hard to give birth to two?" Irina asked and I felt Bella freeze next to me "I thought I would die when I had André."

"Uhmm… I wouldn't know, I had a caesarian and was unconscious most of the time."

I winced, my heart shrinking as always when I thought about Bella being all alone.

"Oh… well you didn't miss much, and saved yourself of some excruciating pain." Irina teased and Alice's eyes became wide.

"It's that painful?"

I decided to tune out the baby talk so I wouldn't turn all moody thinking about what Bella had endured alone and concentrated on my other side where Emmett, Tyler, Kate and Lee talked about sports. I could see Jasper and Laurent over the bar in what seemed a serious conversation, probably about politics.

"I don't know what's the fuss about hockey… soccer is way more enthralling and you can actually see the cute guy's faces." Kate commented.

"Yes, but you are a woman we men don't need pretty faces to enjoy a sport." Tyler answered.

"We neither, it's just a plus… what if it was a female league?"

"Well… that'll be different."

"How so?" I asked.

"Because women can't play shit, so we will be watching for different reasons." Tyler grinned and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Kaylyn Kyle is so hot, she's actually on my list." Emmett commented with a grin.

"I have Alex Morgan." Tyler said.

"Good thing about being single, I don't need a list." Lee said before taking a sip of his whine.

"Men…" Kate huffed "and women _can_ play soccer."

"Well, Jessica broke her nose once playing in high school so I'm not sure about that." Lee chuckled.

"Speaking of Jessica" I interrupted "Where is she? She's been gone for what? Fifteen minutes?"

"I don't know, for some reason her boyfriend started choking on his drink… he said he needed some air and Jessica followed him outside."

"Is he Ok?" I asked and Lee shrugged.

"Don't know and don't care… you know I hate the guy."

"Are you the jealous brother type?" Rosalie asked coming back into the living room with Gianna.

"No, he's really an idiot… I know my sister has her flaws but she could do so much better than that."

"What's wrong with him?" Kate asked.

"He's your typical arrogant Casanova who has a job thanks to his dad owning the company, but has cheerios instead of brain in his big head." He complained and we all laughed. "I don't know what she sees in him."

"Well, he's kind of cute… although blondes are not my type." Kate commented.

"What's your type?" Lee asked curiously.

"Tall, lean, brunets… someone like John Stamos, he'll definitely be on my list if I needed one too."

"And who's on your list Eddie boy?" Emmett asked.

"Uhm… well… I-" I stammered, afraid to answer the question but Bella beat pulled me out of my dilemma.

"Jennifer Lopez, Adriana Lima, Natalie Portman, Jenifer Aniston, Scarlet Johanson and… who else I'm forgetting?"

…

…

I grinned at her.

"Megan Fox."

"_But she's so trashy!"_

"_Hey! It's my list… and who are you to judge? You have Zac Efron… He's a freaking kid!"_

"_At least he's classy!"_

"_Pretty girl… it's my list, now go back to yours… so you have Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Jude Law, the vampire guy, Zac Pubertfron… and… you are still missing one."_

"_John Mayer." She nodded firmly._

"_Really?" I asked making a face._

"_Oh honey, I love how you play the guitar and your beautiful voice but I'll so leave you for him."_

_Meh, I couldn't blame her. _

_He's a musical prodigy._

* * *

><p>"Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes!" Mom entered the living room with Andrew on her hip, Charlotte and Carmen next to her. "Please can someone tell Jessica and Mike we are almost ready?"<p>

"Mike?" I asked.

"Jessica's boyfriend." Lee explained.

Great, a reminder of Bella's and I fight of two days ago.

"Edward, where can I shut Sam in while we have dinner?" Bella asked caressing the back of my neck.

"Just tie him on the staircase banister so he won't get himself in trouble."

"Okay." She kissed my lips and stood from the arm rest.

"I'll go with you." I stood up as well "Marie, you coming or are you staying?"

"I stay with Aunt Ginna." She jumped onto Gianna's lap.

"Ok sweetie, be good." Bella smiled at her as I pulled Sam out of the living room.

"Having a good time?" I asked taking her hand.

"Yes… it's funny I've never had a mommy talk before."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, I didn't have many friends in Ottawa… the twins were my only concern…. Sure, Alice has asked a few things before about pregnancy but not much."

"And… how are you? About the… the Denali's being here? I'm sorry about what happened before, I had no idea they would bring it up like that."

She shook her head.

"It's Ok I guess it was better to get rid of the big pink elephant right away. I'm fine, don't worry about it."

I kissed her temple.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"So… you still planning on trading me for John Mayer?" I teased and she laughed.

"I don't know… why don't you ask me after tonight?" She stood on her toes and brushed her lips against mine.

Junior twitched.

"Dammit Bella… don't do that." I groaned enticing a giggle out of her.

We reached the staircase and I tied Sam's leash on the post, he tried to get away but Bella stopped him.

"Just for a couple of hours Sammy, we don't want you to get in trouble with nana." Bella cooed as she petted him and Sam barked.

"C'mon, let's go back." I said taking her hand and heading back to the living room but as we passed the foyer Rosalie and Emmet came in from the front door.

"What were you guys doing outside?" I asked.

"Looking for Jessica and Mike." Emmett said opening the door wider to let Jessica an-

…

…

…

_WHAT?!_

"Mike?" Bella asked incredulous next to me.

"Bella." Newton said glumly, evading Bella's and I incredulous eyes.

"You know each other?" Rosalie asked curiously.

"He… he is my boss."

"You are Jessica's boyfriend?" I asked a little too loudly.

What the hell?

"Fiancé." Jessica corrected showing her ring proudly and I felt my jaw hit the floor.

Oh, this is awesome.

"You are a fucking asshole you know that?!" I barked enraged.

Said asshole glared at me.

"Edward!" Rose and Jessica gasped wide eyed and Emmett straightened next to me. He knew all about the roses and was there when he had called her at the cemetery, hell even Rose was there!

"Edward calm down, don't make a scene the twins are still on the living room."

"Don't ask me to calm down, this fucking shithead has been harassing you for god knows how long and he is fucking engaged to Jessica?!"

The guy went too far, what's fucking wrong with him?!

"WHAT?!" Jessica, Rose and Lee who suddenly appeared next to Jessica yelled aghast.

"Yes" Bella glared "I'm asking you to calm the fuck down because the kids will hear you and I don't want to upset them or ruin your mother's dinner."

"Is this true?" Lee seethed, throwing daggers at Mike.

"It's not what it looks like… I… I-" The shithead stammered.

"Didn't you send flowers to Bella two days ago?" I interrupted him.

"Well… I-"

"Haven't you been ogling, insinuating and making disturbing comments to her?" I asked angrily, remembering all the things Andrew had slipped accidentally at brunch that time I first brought him and Marie to my parent's house and what I saw when I met him at the restaurant.

I know Bella never really told me Mike flirted with her or that he ever tried something too forward, but with what I witnessed that day at the restaurant the dude wasn't being subtle about his feelings for her and I remember Bella's uncomfortable look when he stared at her with his lustful eyes. And his attempts at getting her attention were far from innocent and by Andrew's stories it happened more often than not. I remember him asking her to go to his office even though she didn't have to, I knew what Bella's job entailed and he could have easily just send her those damn manuscripts by e-mail.

The feeling of jealousy possessed my body again.

"It wasn't like that… it's a misunderstanding." He tried to defend himself.

"Then why did my three year old son have to bite your hand to stop you from looking funny at his mommy… _my girlfriend_." I gritted possessively.

"Oh god!" Rose said in understanding "That was you?" She asked disgusted.

"I-I… I… I'm sorry." He said before Lee's fist connected with his jaw.

"LEE!" Jessica screamed as Mike fell to the floor.

"Don't fucking tell me you are defending him Jess… I warned you, everybody fucking warned you! You deserve better that this fuckwit!"

"I know! But you should let _me_ handle it!" She said helping Mike up and pushing him out of the door "Please tell Esme we apologize but that we had to go." She cried "Please don't tell anyone what happened… sorry Bella, I didn't know." Jessica apologized in behalf of that asshole and I could see she was about to break, her eyes red with tears before she closed the door behind her.

…

…

…

"Wow." Rose broke the ice.

"Yeah… I expected some drama tonight but… wow." Emmett added.

"Could you give us a minute?" Bella said in a tight voice and I stiffened.

Was she mad at me?

"Sure." Rosalie answered ushering Lee and Emmet back to the dining room.

Bella took my hand and led me to the other direction of the hallway and into the game room, she closed the door behind us and reclined against it letting out a sigh and closing her eyes.

"Bella?"

…

…

…

"Bella?" I tried again.

"Yes?"

"Are you mad at me?" I asked in a small voice but she opened her eyes and looked at me strangely.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

I shrugged.

"Well, you don't seem happy."

"I'm upset… but it has nothing to do with you, I know Mike… he's that guy… th-the guy I thought _you_ were… that's one of the reasons why I never liked him and why you shouldn't worry about him… I didn't know he had a girlfriend but I've heard he was a player before and hadn't witnessed it until tonight…"

"Then… why are you upset?" I asked worriedly at the way her thoughts had gone.

"I'm not upset… it's the thought of him seeing me as… as the other woman that bothers me… as if I could be that cheap, he had a fiancé and still… he sought me out. I know Jessica deserves better but… the thought of them breaking up because of me…"

"Hey…" I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my chest "you did nothing wrong, Lee says he's a manwhore… so if it wasn't you it would have been someone else… you didn't do anything and nothing happened, right? He brought this onto himself it's his fault not yours." She lifted he gaze to look at me.

"I swear Edward… nothing ever happened."

"And I believe you." I said tracing my thumb over her cheekbone.

"Thank you, I love you."

"I love you too…" I answered back before kissing her forehead "Bella, god you have no idea how much I need you… I can't wait for tonight."

"Me either… I uhh, I started taking the pill by the way…" She blushed and I chuckled as I thanked my rarely lucky stars as I hadn't even thought about condoms.

"For how long?" I nuzzled her nose with mine.

"Hmm… for about two weeks?"

I raised my eyebrows at her and she hid her face on my chest again.

"Expectations Miss Swan?" I asked threading my fingers through her hair as basically that's how long we've been together officially.

"Well…" she shrugged "call it wishful thinking?"

"Ok." I chuckled again before kissing that soft spot under her ear "I'm glad you did… I don't want anything getting in the way." I whispered against her ear "I want to feel all of you…"

"You do?"

"Yes… you are killing me in this outfit."

"At what time do you think is decent for us to leave?"

I pretended to think for a moment.

"Ten minutes after dessert sounds good?"

"Five."

"Five it is." I smirked but her face turned serious again.

…

…

"When was the last time?" She asked in a small voice.

"The last time I had sex?"

She nodded.

"I told you… I never saw anyone after you left."

"Yeah… but that doesn't mean anything." She said softly, her eyes searching mine.

…

…

…

"The last time I was with a woman… it was at my place… on my piano… with this gorgeous brunet girl, with the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen… the softest skin…" I whispered while I brushed my lips over her cheek "the most exquisite body…" I continued as my hand caressed her side, finally resting on her lower back "The most luscious lips" I sucked her bottom lip "and with this sexy tattoo on her hip that only I know the meaning behind it." I added some pressure over her tattoo with my thumb.

Her eyes watered and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Really?" She whimpered.

"Bella, I… she doesn't count… you were the last woman I was with… and the only one I wish to ever be with… for the rest of my life. When you were gone… I couldn't even look at other woman, I only saw you. You were everywhere and nowhere, I don't think you'll ever grasp even a tiny percent of how much I missed you."

…

…

…

"You were my first…" She whisper cried.

"I know." I closed my eyes resting my forehead against hers.

She had been ashamed when she had confessed to me she was a virgin the night we first did it, but to me it only made her more precious. Between work and school she hadn't dated at all in high school and when she arrived to Toronto it had been pretty much the same. Of course she had dated once she moved here before she met me… but nothing too serious to get to that part of a relationship.

"And the last… you are the only one I ever want to be with too." She continued.

I kissed her tears away and wrapped my arms tightly around her.

"I'll never get tired of thanking the heavens for bringing you back into my life… for you giving me a chance, I swear Bella… if you ever leave again… if you take our kids with you I'll be lost… you are everything to me. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours."

I wanted to ask her then and there… to spend the rest of our lives together. But something stopped me… fear? I don't know… I just knew it wasn't the right moment, especially because I didn't want her to think it was in reaction to Mike Fucking Newton.

But god, how much I wanted it.

"Edward… there's something I've been wanting to tell you… but I was afraid…" Bella put a stop to my thoughts.

"What were you afraid of?"

"At first… I just didn't want to tell you, because it hurt… I didn't want to remember, then I just thought it pointless… especially after Tanya's letter… but now, I want to get it out… I want to deserve your trust too."

"Is this what you didn't want to tell me last Monday? After visiting Andrew?"

"Yes…" She said nervously, but I could also see the pain in her eyes.

"What is it?"

…

…

…

She took a deep breath.

"Edward… when I wa-"

"Mommy?!" We heard Marie's distinct panicked voice in the distance.

I sighed.

"Mommy?! Daddy?!" Her voice broke.

Shit, did something happen to her? My heart skipped a beat.

"Shh… its Ok honey, they didn't leave they must be here somewhere…" We heard Gianna calm her. "Bella?!"

"Later?" I asked hopeful, battling with the urge to make sure Marie was Ok and the curiosity of finally finding out what has been bugging her.

It took her a moment but she nodded.

"Later." She nodded.

I kissed her one more time, and somehow I didn't want to let go.

"I love you… always remember that." I said seriously.

"You are my life." She answered.

I took her hand and opened the door. We walked out of the game room and as soon as Marie spotted us she broke into a run.

"Mommy!" She cried as she jumped into Bella's arms.

"Marie? Are you Ok baby?" Bella asked worriedly. "Jezus baby you are trembling." Bella looked at me alarmed.

"Marie? You Ok princess?" I asked.

"Whe-were you?!" She sobbed against Bella's neck and my heart raced with worry at seeing her like this.

"Daddy and I were talking honey… we were here in the house." Bella explained softly as she caressed her hair in comfort and bounced from one side to the other.

"Don't leave me!" She cried.

What was up with her? She was scaring me.

"Marie… mommy and I were just talking, we'll never leave you princess." I kissed the top of her head. "God, baby please calm down… it's Ok."

"Promise?" She whimpered.

"I swear, we love you baby… how could you even think that?" I frowned.

She turned in Bella's embrace and stretched her arms towards me, motioning me to take her. She was still trembling as I held her against me.

"Jezus Marie, you are shaking… honey it's Ok." I soothed her.

"What happened?" Bella turned to Gianna, her face full of worry.

"I don't know… she was fine a moment ago… then the guys got loud and she freaked out."

I felt something wet on my arms and I looked down.

"Shit!" I gasped.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked alarmed.

"She peed herself." I said and Marie started crying again.

"Give her to me." Bella urged "thanks Gianna… we'll take care from here."

"Okay… dinner s'not ready yet, so take your time." Gianna said softly before going back to the living room.

"Thank you." I said following Bella back into the game room.

She laid Marie on the couch and took off her boots and leggings.

"Can you hand me some tissues from the bathroom?" Bella asked without looking at me, her eyes solely on Marie making sure she was okay.

"Sure… I'll go and get her some clothes too."

"Thanks."

Between the changes mom had made to the house when she found out about her grandchildren, their own playroom was one of them. Where she also kept clothes for them for when they spend the night which had happened a few times since Bella had sometimes to work without distractions and I couldn't always take care of them during the week because I had to go to the clinic early the next day. So I went into the kid's playroom and grabbed a new panty set and a pair of white leggings for Marie, I cut the tag off of the leggings and flew back downstairs to my girls.

"Here" I said handing Bella the clean clothes and she immediately got into action. Once she changed Marie, she sat on the couch and pulled her onto her lap.

"Marie… are you Ok now? Mommy and daddy are here." Bella cooed.

"You weren't wiv me." She whimpered.

"I know honey, but daddy and I told you we were tying Sam… we never left."

"But you weren't wiv me!"

"Marie, sometimes mommy and I will have stuff to do… but that doesn't mean we will leave you… you are our daughter, we love you and we will always protect you… were you scared of so many people?" I caressed her back with my hand.

She nodded.

"I'm sorry baby… we won't leave that long again Ok? Not with so many strangers."

"Aunt Ginna s'not stranger… but big guys are too loud. It's scary… I wanna go home." She mumbled.

"We'll go home after dinner, I promise." I said kissing her cheek "But honey… don't ever think mommy and I will leave you… what would we do without our little princess?" I tickled her a little and she giggled but her eyes were still red with tears.

"Promise?"

"I swear."

"Thank you daddy, I love you."

"I love you more." I kissed her tear stained cheeks.

"Let's go back… I don't want Andrew to get scared too with so many people." She said standing up with Marie in her arms. I took her from her, Marie laid her head on my shoulder circling her arms around my neck and we headed back to civilization.

"There you are!" Emmett boomed and Marie flinched in my arms, to which Rose smacked him on the back of his head.

"Shh…" I cooed "It's just Uncle Emmett. Emmett please don't be so loud."

"Sorry?… what's wrong with my favorite smurf?" Emmett said softly searching for Marie's face.

"She got scared when she didn't see us with so many loud strangers in the house." I answered.

I knew we should have had take out. Having Marie so stressed wasn't worth it at all.

"O-Maley-O-Marie you shouldn't be scared, no one can take Uncle Emmett and I'll defend you against all the witches and wizard of the world." He said dramatically and Marie giggled making me smile.

I loved that sound.

"Thank you Uncle Em."

"Where's Andrew?" Bella asked looking around.

"Charming his way into the hearts of Esme, Charlotte and Carmen." Alice said "That kid has got a gift let me tell you. I wouldn't be surprised if my mother-in-law stole him away from you."

Bella chuckled.

"I'll better go and check on him." She kissed Marie and then me "I'll be right back."

"We'll be here."

"Hey dude… is it true about this Mike dude?" Tyler asked as soon as Bella was out of hearing range and I glared at Emmett.

"Hey! In my defense you had been pretty loud… everybody heard. I just clarified."

"Really?" I asked, concerned about the kids hearing anything they shouldn't.

"Don't worry, Gianna and Alice took the them to the kitchen." Tyler said understanding my concern.

"Oh, well yeah… that fuuu-dge was messing with what's mine." I said in a hard voice.

"Nice save." Alice smirked.

"Dad!" I heard a chirpy voice and I turned to see Andrew followed by Bella and Charlotte walking into the living room. "Pops show me pictures of you wiv my cape!"

"Well, that's because that cape used to be mine buddy but I gave it to you."

"Really?! It wus yours?!" He asked excitedly.

"Yes little man… I was superman and Uncle Andrew was batman." I explained with longing.

How I wish Andrew was here, Emmett was a great brother but there is something about twins that if you weren't one you would think it only happened in movies, but Andrew and I always got each other, he could have helped me so much this past years.

"Awesome! Now me strong like you?!"

Everybody laughed.

"Now you are strong like me." I agreed with a smile.

"Dinner's ready, Mrs. Cullen asks for everyone to please sit in the grand dining room." Mrs. Cope appeared out of nowhere with her ever pleasant smile.

We all made our way to the big dining room but as I was about to enter I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see dad with a wary expression.

"Son, sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you have the letter with you?"

"It's in my coat." I answered "You need it now?"

"No, we are talking to them after dinner… just wanted to make sure you had it."

"Believe me, I didn't forget."

That letter sealed my fate years ago.

Dad and I with Marie in my arms were the last ones to enter the room. I sat next to Andrew with Bella on his other side and Marie stayed in my lap. The food was served in the middle and mom was nothing if not thorough. The feast we had in front of us looked delicious, and Andrew's eyes almost popped out as one of the waiters placed a big ass chocolate cake in front of him.

"Not until you eat your veggies." Bella said firmly to which Andrew pouted. "Not going to work, you already used it with nana's cookies earlier." Bella smirked and Andrew rolled his eyes.

The rest of the evening passed without anymore drama. Emmett, Tyler and Andrew were the clowns of the evening, Andrew of course enjoying all the attention and I was glad he and Tyler got along too. Which wouldn't surprise me as Tyler and Emmett's nature were pretty much the same, and Andrew adored his Uncle Emmett. He was just another kid like him.

Bella and I struggled between feeding the kids and eating ourselves, Marie wasn't much of a problem she had let me feed her, her turkey without complaining. It was Andrew who kept bouncing in his seat and throwing his broccoli under the table who had Bella about to explode.

"Andrew" I turned to him firmly as I had had enough "if you don't finish your food, I'll take your cape away and there won't be any TV until Christmas." I said quietly but serious, not wanting to bring attention to us aka Mom making him get his way.

"But daaad!" He whined loudly, no doubt wanting Mom to save him. Mom looked at us but I told her with my eyes to stay out of this.

"You can't keep eating cookies and sweets kiddo you also need to eat healthy food. Now, let mommy feed you or I'll ground you."

He stared at me wide eyed but didn't complain anymore. Bella threw me a thankful look and I rubbed her back as she fed Andrew his turkey and steamed broccoli.

"It's so weird…" Tyler chuckled next to me "I never saw you as the strict daddy type."

"Oh, he's not… he lets them get away with too much for my liking." Bella winked at me, no doubting knowing I was feeling awful about berating Andrew but the kid needed limits, the doctor in me worried about all the unhealthy food he was eating, he wasn't fat or anything close but that didn't mean it wouldn't affect him. Besides I didn't want him to be spoiled rotten.

"Daddy look, I eat all my food." Andrew said after a while tugging at my sleeve, I looked down to see his empty plate.

"Awesome, I'm so proud of you kid." I smiled at him and his pout turned into a full on grin.

"You no mad anymore?"

"No, I was never mad at you. I just wanted you to eat better because I worry about you." I explained. "Now, chocolate or cheesecake?" I asked.

"CHOCOLATE!"

"Alright" I chuckled serving him a slice. I sensed someone watching me, and I lifted my gaze to catch Irina staring at me. She immediately turned back to whatever Gianna was saying.

I wondered what that was about. I couldn't decipher her look, but… was it guilty? Then I remembered her knowing all about Tanya and Andrew, was she feeling guilty about not doing anything about Tanya's mental disorder? Which eventually led to my fall and now felt guilty about watching me with Bella and my kids, after missing the first four years of their lives because of what her sister did? Knowing she could have prevented it all?

One thing was for sure… I needed to talk to her. I needed to know more about what happened between Tanya and Andrew and why she had stayed silent for so many years.

Once Andrew had his plate with cake, he got down from his chair and ran to sit on Gianna's lap next to Tyler, Marie followed suit but she took Rosalie's lap instead. I smiled at how quickly Marie had warmed to Rose.

I heard a chair scrapping and we all turned to see dad standing up at the head of the table.

"I'll like to propose a toast." He said and we all raised our glasses.

"Oh! Why don't we all say thanks for something first? Isn't that what we are supposed to do?" Alice said cheerily.

"Alright… we'll start with you sweetie." Dad sat back and we all turned to Alice who raised her orange juice.

"I'll like to say thanks for the start of our family," She said taking Jasper's hand and placing it on top her stomach "for this year being full of wonderful surprises" she eyed Marie and Andrew "and for all the blessings to come."

"Atta baby." Jasper kissed her cheek.

Next were Irina and Laurent.

"We are thankful for the birth of André, whose laughs and cries have brought life into our home." Laurent said simply.

"Beautiful words…" dad praised "Eleazar?"

He looked down at his pie, seeming to think of what to say.

"I guess I wanna say thanks for… my grandson, and for the happiness of my daughters."

The room got tense for a moment, we sure knew he didn't mean all of his daughters. Then it was Charlotte and Peter's turn. He was thankful for the upcoming birth of their first grandchild and for the growth of his new business. Then it was Em and Rose's turn.

"Uhm…" Emmett started nervously "Well… instead of being thankful for something, I guess Rose and I want to take the opportunity to share some news with you." He smiled and it shocked me when I saw his eyes water.

I heard a gasp coming out of Alice.

"Rose and I are getting a kid." He beamed.

"What?!" Mom cried.

"I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Alice cheered.

"Oh my god! Congratulations!" I said as I saw Rosalie hide her crying face in Em's shoulder.

"Did your bird put a seed on Aunt Rosie's tummy?" Andrew asked and the room felt silent for a second before everyone started laughing.

"No honey, this once is coming from a store." Rosalie said.

"Really?" Marie asked brightly. "How is he?"

"His name is Liam, he's five and is from Annapolis… We'll get him on Monday."

"Is that why you had that interview yesterday?" I asked.

"Yes." Emmett beamed.

"Wow… congratulations guys." Jasper said tipping his glass with Emmett's.

Wow, I was getting a nephew on Monday. This was awesome, I was so happy for them and now Marie and Andrew won't be that alone on family gatherings.

"I'm being a grandma again!" Mom said still crying and dad kissed her cheek.

After the euphoria passed, it was dad's turns. We all looked at him expectantly, trying to hear over Sam's sudden barks.

"I have… tons of things to be grateful for…" he started and I felt Bella's head rest on my shoulder, I turned my face to kiss her forehead as I took her hand in mine "My family has been full of blessings this year… I'm utterly grateful for my sons and daughters happiness, for this new life they are all discovering and the important role of parenting they are taking with arms wide open. They are starting their own families… and it's their turn to be on the hot seat… hopefully your mom and I raised you well, and I know you'll do an extraordinary job. I know I've made mistakes" he glanced at me "but we are not born perfect, and now that you are on my shoes you'll understand that all we do we do it thinking it's what we thought best… and not in order to hurt you. Family is the most important thing in the world, wealth come and goes, the illness can be cured… but your loved ones? You can't take them for granted…" His voice broke and a tear fell from mom's cheek, no doubt both of them were thinking of Andrew… I bet the whole table was thinking of him "The love of a family is life's greatest blessing… so cherish it everyday." He finished.

And then we heard someone clap, but… no one from the table was moving.

We all looked around us in confusion, then movement at the entrance of the dining room caught my eye and they all followed my gaze to the tall figure standing there.

A loud crash echoed around the room as Bella's glass hit the floor.

"Great speech papa Cullen, great speech." Her nasal voice said and I was rooted to the spot.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" Mom spat but she rolled her eyes as she lighted a cigarette.

She took a long drag and let it out slowly, her eyes scanning around the table until they landed on the person next to me.

"So Bella, you got my mail?" Tanya asked with a devilish grin and crazy black eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>*runs to hide back under a rock*<strong>

**See you in ten days?**

**So, who wants some Tanya's ass kicked? What should Edward do? What should Bella do? What the heck is Tanya talking about?**

**Did you see the Mike part comming? I threw a small hint at the Gala chapter =D**

**PLEASE LEAVE ME SOME LOVE! I can't wait to know what you guys think!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	32. Chapter 32: Tonight I Wanna Cry

**Here it is!**

**Now, I know a lot of you are scared of this chapter because of the teasers... but I'll hold your hand through it, I promise!**

**I have no enough words to express my gratitude for your love and support for this story, it blows me away. Thank you so much for all your reviews and PM and tweets. I never imagined the acceptance this story would have when I started. THANK YOU THANK YOU!**

**Scpecial thanks to my betta Cattinson who beta'ed this chapter in just an hour! And also special thanks to my pre-reader Lisopera for being my rock and support and awesome advices! It's because of her that this story continues and its as beautiful and readable.**

**Lastly I wanna thank my friends on twitter! Bec Robinson, Renata Nunes, Liz Negrao, Cecilia Márquez, NUgirl, Araceli Assuncao, Lilins, Violet, Britney Peralta, carolynwong and Ffaddward for their tweets and retweets.**

**I also wanna dedicate this chapter to my brazilian readers, especially Liz Negrao (you'll know why ;) )**

**Major tissue alert!**

**SM own the world!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32: <strong>

**Part1: Tonight I Wanna Cry**

"**Tonight I Wanna" Cry – Keith Urban**

Alone in this house again tonight  
>I got the TV on<p>

The sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
>Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me<p>

The way that it was and should have been surrounds me  
>I'll never get over you walkin' away<p>

Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
>And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control<br>But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
>To hell with my pride<br>Let it fall like rain, from my eyes  
>Tonight I wanna cry.<p>

"_So Bella? You got my mail?"_

What?

From the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie whisper something to Gianna and like lighting they were out of the room with the twins, Charlotte following with André.

"What?" I asked aloud this time, confused as hell. From all the things I expected her to say that was the last on my mind.

"Tanya, what are you doing here?" Carmen glared, both of them ignoring me. "Why aren't you in Vancouver?"

"I thought this was a family gathering?" She sneered at her mother, reclining herself against the door frame and taking another drag from her cigarette. "Thanks for the invitation by the way." She said sarcastically.

"Get out. Now." I seethed with venom.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk… chillax babe, is that how you treat your guests? You surely didn't treat me like this last time we saw each other. Good times." She winked.

"Fuck you!" I spat enraged.

"Oh honey, you already did… oops!" She said amused.

_Never-hit-a-woman-never-hit-a-woman-never-hit-a-woman._

I chanted to myself taking deep breaths trying to keep my temper at bay for sake of the kids.

"Anyway, I didn't come here to see you." She shrugged before looking at Bella. "So Bells, how's married life treating you?"

Alice can SO hit a woman.

She has my permission.

"Tanya…" I warned menacingly but she didn't even look at me.

"How are the little bastards doing?"

That was it.

I was out of my chair in a second and stalking towards her, ready to take her out of the house by force but Emmett stopped me before I did something really stupid. I didn't dare too look back, fearing of what I would see on Bella's face after Tanya's harsh words.

"Edward!" Emmett tried to make me see reason but I only saw red and felt hatred towards the woman smirking in front of me. I wanted to smack that ugly smile off of her face.

I had never wished death upon someone so much until now.

"You fucking bitch! Who do you think you are to come to our house and insult my nephew and niece!" Alice screeched ignoring Jasper's restraining hands around her. "Fucking dammit Jasper LET ME GO!"

"Alice! You are pregnant!"

"Jezus, people, people… calm down," Tanya said lightly while rubbing under her nose with her fingers, she took another long drag from her cigarette and threw the bud to the floor putting it out with the tip of her heel "What do you put in the water here?" She laughed.

"Tanya, we are leaving _now_." Eleazar stood from his chair and walked towards her grabbing her arm but she yanked it away.

"But daddy! Bella and I are great friends! Isn't that right Bella? Tell them!" She smiled sweetly with crazy black eyes. Her pupils so dilated I couldn't see her irises anymore.

"Tanya… please…" Bella begged in a shaking voice behind me and I didn't have to turn around to know she was crying.

"What are you talking about?" I heard myself ask to both of them.

Something was wrong… so wrong and I was afraid to find out.

"Bella and I share eeeeeeverything… like, everything! We are besties! We share likes, dislikes, _men_…"

"Tanya!" Carmen gasped in disbelief but she kept talking.

"And what else?... uhmm… Oh! Photos… yes! PHOTOS! We definitely shared that! Remember the photos Bella?!" She clapped excitedly and the sound echoed in the now dead silent room.

Photos?

Mail?

What? Why would Tanya send photos to Bella?

About what?

…

…

…

I blanked.

"_Bec… because… every time I thought of you… the… the only thing I saw was you… with her. I couldn't stand it." She confessed in a painful whisper._

…

"_But you still did it!" She interrupted "And no matter what you say or how much I try I'll never get rid of that image. God, I saw you with her… I'm sorry Edward, but we can't pretend to be that happy family that you want!"_

…

"_Aghh!" she shrieked "Stop talking! Are you listening to yourself? You don't want me! You are just guilty about what happened!"_

…

"_I fucking saw you with her!"_

…

"_I don't want your love! I can't stand it… don't come and tell me those things! Do you seriously expect me to believe that? I saw you with her!"_

…

"_Don't pretend!"_

…

"_I was so sure of what happened… I still have reasons to doubt you but I also know… even then that it didn't make sense… it still doesn't make sense… anything… so I'm trying to clear my head and see things your way… but it's hard, those… images are still in my head… please be patient with me."_

…

"_The images haunt me!"_

…

"_I can get rid of the images!"_

The images…

Images, images, images…

No.

Please… No no no no no.

"Bella?" I whispered but she kept quiet. "Bella? What is she talking about?" I asked stupidly, not wanting to believe what my mind had come up with.

This was so sick, it couldn't be true.

When she continued to be silent, I tore my eyes away from Tanya's ugly face and turned to her in search of an answer.

My stomach hit the ground hard at the sight and I was instantly nauseated at the pain I saw on her face and realizing what had Tanya done.

I couldn't breathe.

Did she?

If it's true… then why didn't she fucking tell me?!

WHY?!

Sam barking and growling in the background made my head pound, making impossible to think things through.

No, but how?

This couldn't be.

Then, I remembered the dream… the dream I had just weeks ago.

_We stumbled into my room._

_I knew it was my room because it smelled like her._

_My Bella._

_She disappeared for a second and I called after her._

"_Hey!" I slurred. "Where did you go?"_

"_Just a second baby." The voice answered._

_After another moment she was back._

_She clashed her lips against mines while she struggled with my zipper at the same time I took the hem of her shirt and pulled it up freeing her bra-less breasts. My tongue found them immediately and she moaned making me even harder. I licked her peaks, sucked and nibbled. My hands roamed her body frantically, pleasure evident in her constant moans. I reached the hem of her skirt and with a tug undid her buttons sneaking my hand inside her thong, she gasped when my fingers started rubbing her clit, spreading her wetness all over her inner lips. Her hands became frantic and she finally undid my pants and I pulled them off quickly. My heart was beating a mile per hour as my cock urged me for some action, I needed this… I needed it__**now**__._

"_Now." I growled. "I want you now."_

_I could feel my blood concentrating there on my groin, aching and pulsing. I wanted her now. I was desperate. She circled my neck with her arms and I brought her legs up around my waist by grabbing her ass, feeling the heat of her core against me. I turned abruptly and threw ourselves into my bed._

_And with a loud groan… I started thrusting. Hard._

My blood raced through my veins with this new revelation. My heart beating so fast I thought it was going to come out and my chest heaving at the lack of oxygen.

Fuck.

I need air.

"Bella?" I asked shakily, begging her with my eyes for this not to be true.

I didn't want to say the words out loud… I didn't want it to be real. I feared it would be real. Something so sick couldn't be real. But she was quiet, struggling between sobbing and fighting the pain I was sure was eating her alive.

"Bella?!" I asked again, but this time… she jumped at the sudden change in my tone.

I was angry.

I was fucking furious.

"What is Tanya talking about?" I asked through gritted teeth and her eyes became wide with fear.

…

…

"I-It was before the t-twins were born…"

"What was in that mail?!" I yelled.

"She… sh-she… she sent me sex photos…" She finally confessed. "From that night."

I heard a few gasps.

Then it hit me.

So hard it almost knocked me out.

"_How did it happen?"_

"_How did it happen what?"_

"_Why did the placenta detached?"_

"_I had a break down… I… I was depressed… I…"_

"_What happened?" I insisted._

"_I…" she was about to say something, but I could tell she changed her mind and said something else, her face was an open book "I hadn't opened my e-mail since I left… one day I did it… and saw 347 new e-mails on my account… all from you."_

"_Why did you open it? What were you going to say before?"_

"_Nothing."_

…

…

"_How was the delivery?"_

"_I was scared… I was afraid I'd lose them." _

"_Why didn't you call? I would have been there for you."_

"_I wanted to… but… I couldn't."_

"_Why? What stopped you?"_

"_Please Edward… I don't wanna talk about that day…"_

Then, out of nowhere I saw my mother's hand impact on Tanya's cheek with a loud smack.

"Aghhh!" Tanya cried in pain.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! HOW DARE YOU!" Mom screeched.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kate said disgusted "You are sick Tanya, why would you do something like that?!"

I started pulling at my hair in frustration, anger and pain.

I was so angry, so fucking pissed.

But above all…

Hurt.

Why didn't Bella tell me? This was huge! Why hadn't she told me something like this! Why didn't she fucking trust me with this! For the past five months I've been doing everything within my power to win her trust! I had been honest with her, I told her everything I had been through and she couldn't tell me this?! Something so vital! No wonder she couldn't look me in the eyes, no wonder she doubted me.

But, I had thought we were past the trust part! WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THIS!

"SHE HAS WHAT'S MINE!" Tanya hollered. "He's mine!" She pointed a finger at me.

"What the fuck?" Alice asked wide eyed over Sam's ongoing barks. The rest of the guests looked with mouths and eyes wide open at the scene playing in the dining room.

"You took what's mine!" Tanya screamed at Bella.

"You are sick!" Bella barked back. "You were the one who got in the middle!"

"He's mine bitch! He promised me! He said we would be together and then you came!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?!" I yelled incredulously.

"You promised! Under the bridge!"

"What?!" I asked stupidly, has she lost it?

"Tanya, calm down, let's go…" Irina said then with a soothing voice coming closer to her. "It's Ok sister…" She took her shaking hands.

"No! He's mine! She took what's mine!" Tanya cried pulling away "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry about what I did! I didn't want to…. I was scared you'd hate me!" Tanya said in agony.

"What the hell is this?!" Alice gasped with rivers falling down her cheeks as Jasper tried to pull her out of the room but she wouldn't let him.

"He's supposed to be with me… h-he promised! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! YOU PROMISED YOU'D BE BACK! HE PROMISED HE PROMISED HE PROMISED!" Tanya yelled at me.

What. The. Hell?

"HE'S NOT ANDREW!" Irina shouted then. "He's dead! He died _fourteen years ago_!"

"Shut up!" Tanya covered her ears with her hands as she shook her head with angry tears. "You fucking liar!"

"Tanya, please listen to me…" Irina said trying to calm herself to help her sister "you are upset and there are kids in the house, this is not the time or place, let's go before you do something you'll regret later."

"Did you enjoy it you fucking slut?!" Tanya glared at Bella ignoring her sister "Did you enjoy tearing my family apart?!" Tanya started yelling without control.

"Tanya! Enough!" Eleazar yelled over the noise.

"How did it feel huh? What did you feel when you saw those photos?! Did you like it?! Did you enjoy seeing his sweaty body against mine?! You'll never be enough! You and your stupid little bastards can go fuck yourselves, you worthless fucking HOMEWRECKER!"

Suddenly, Tanya was on the floor with her hand pressed over her face as blood started pouring from her nose and mouth while Bella held her fist to her chest.

"Shit!" She grimaced in pain, rubbing her red knuckles before Tanya threw herself at her.

Quickly, I moved Bella out of her reach behind my back as Laurent and Tyler got a hold of Tanya.

"You are paying for this! I FUCKING SWEAR! You whore!" Tanya screamed, her eyes about to come out of her face and the veins on her neck popping under her skin.

"Are you even listening to yourself?! You were the one who got in between!" Bella yelled back trying to come out of my restringing arms.

"NO! It's your entire fault!" Tanya hollered spiting blood at the same time.

"MY FAULT?! _You_ were the one who broke a family! Not only mine but all the ones' in this room as well!" Bella screamed as angry tears fell down her cheeks.

"Bella, easy you are going to hurt yourself!" I told her as she struggled to come out of my arms but she didn't listen to me.

"The Cullen's almost lost a son again! You lost your parents support and your sister's love because of all the horrendous things you've done!" Bella continued.

"NOOO!" Tanya cried.

"This is your fault not mine! You were the one who ruined your own life!"

"You are going to regret this! I fucking swear! You are paying for this!"

"Enough! Laurent! Get Tanya out of here and get her in my car! I'm so sorry Carlisle…" Eleazar said in distraught. "We'll take care of her… she won't bother you again."

"El, she needs help… you can't just lock her up. She will just escape again." Dad said over Tanya's screams and Eleazar grimaced.

"I'm so sorry…" He said before following the screeches of Tanya being pulled away by Laurent and Peter down the hallway.

Then, everything was silent for an endless minute.

…

…

…

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" I suddenly yelled and everyone left the room in a heartbeat.

"I was going to!" Bella said with a raspy voice after all the yelling.

"Like when you were going to tell me about the kids?!" I spat at her.

She gasped, but I was too angry and overwhelmed to care. I felt my chest heavy I was tired I needed a way out. Months… no _years_ of bottling up pain and anger finally exploding. Triggered by what had happened just moments ago.

"Fuck Bella! All this time… all this time! I thought I had finally won your trust, I thought you believed me!"

"I DO!" She cried.

"Then why didn't you tell me about those photos! Why didn't you tell me Tanya had found you!"

"I WAS GOING TO! When we were at the game room but Marie interrupted!"

"What about the last five fucking months!" I screamed throwing my hands up in the air.

"I was scared! I was scared of this!" She gestured between us "I was scared of everything! I feared just the thought of loosing you if not to Tanya to Lauren or somebody else! You think I didn't know how she looked at you?! How she literally threw herself at you! I noticed it since that first day in Ottawa how she stared at you when you weren't looking at the hotel!"

"FUCK LAUREN! Bella, I've been trying my fucking best to show you how much you meant to me since the very first day. I devoted myself to you! I can't believe it... you still don't trust me! That's why you kept all this from me!"

"I'm SORRY!" She cried pulling at her hair "I was going to… I swear, last Monday I was going to tell you but then you told me about Andrew's letter, so I thought about letting it go... I thought it didn't matter anymore."

"But it did! It did fucking matter to you! AND ME! Bella, those pictures obviously hurt you, you should have told me so I would have known what to do! If you really wanted a try to do this..." I motioned between us "you would have been honest! Is that so hard for you?!" I hollered banging the table with my fist.

"But I am! I do trust you Edward! Don't you see?! I didn't need any more explanation! I believed you! I didn't want to burden you with that!"

"I don't care about that! Fuck _me_! I've told you a million times you and the kids are my priority! I've told you not to worry about me! Now tell me, is this the reason you went into early labour?!"

She shut her eyes closed and pulled at her hair again, turning away from me facing the wall.

"I didn't see her coming..." She said with a shaking voice "she just approached me outside the hospital after a check-up and asked me if I had checked my mail... I didn't know what she was talking about, I ignored her and went straight to my apartment, but it made me curious... I logged in a-and... saw your emails... it broke me Edward..." She whimpered turning around to face me again "I read every single one of them, I was about to cave in and call you right then... but I-I clicked next and... I stumbled into hers... a-and saw them... it shattered every hope I had... it made it all real, you-u sle-ept with her... it killed me to see it!"

Aghh!

Fuck the pain.

"Bella... I-I... fuck!" I kicked a chair "Bella, I needed to know this! I needed to know... I asked you tons of times what went wrong that day... and you never said anything! I _deserved_ to know why I almost lost the three of you! And Marie's sickness! FUCK DAMMIT! I DESERVED TO BE THERE!" I yelled as images of Bella in pain all alone in hospital room filled my mind "I deserved to be there with you! I-I... FUCK!" I screamed in pain.

When the placenta detached... I could have lost it all I could have lost them permanently because of Tanya. Tanya's dangerous, she knows this! She fucking knows what she's capable of and she never told me how close she had been to them!

And me?

How fucking stupid I was for not seeing the signs! I knew Tanya had been in Ottawa, I knew something bothered Bella... she had slipped a few times and I never read between the lines!

"I didn't want to make you feel guilty for what she did... I believed you I wanted to let it go."

"But you weren't the only one at risk here! Are you stupid or what?! What about the kids?! Tanya is back! She's dangerous, you know this! Don't you think it's too much of a coincidence with everything that's been happening?! If I had known what Tanya did I would have known it wasn't over for her and would have been more careful with you and the kids! If it was her who broke into the house…" I shook my head trying to get rid of the horrendous images "she had a freaking gun!"

"Well you didn't tell me I was being stalked either, so how was I supposed to know we were in danger and put two and two together!" She glared.

Fuck.

She's right about that.

"Bella..." I sighed suddenly exhausted and sitting on a chair "I can't do this anymore... I'm tired of this..." I whispered before my brain knew what my mouth was saying and it took me too long to register what my words sounded like.

Something flashed in Bella's eyes.

"You tired?" She glared, but behind her fiery eyes I could see the ripping pain.

Fucking dammit.

"No, Be-"

"Your fucking tired?! FINE! GREAT! But guess what?! I'm tired too! This is what I feared! This is exactly what I wanted to avoid!"

"Bell-"

"I've been here listening to you rant about me not telling you something because I thought it was best for us, because I didn't want to hurt you anymore! Because I didn't want you to feel guilty, taking all your harsh words, hearing you jump to conclusions when you where the one who said we should trust each other! And I do trust you! That's why I wanted to forget about it! But if you are tired of this then fine! I did well without you before!"

"No! Bella, listen!"

"I DON'T WANNA HEART IT! Didn't you listen to her?! That little scene that just played out was what I wanted to save us from! That's why I didn't want you to go looking for her either! I wanted to leave her in the past and move on! Yes, at first I didn't tell you because I believed her and those fucking pictures burned my soul Edward! They fucking HURT!"

She punctuated her statement by hitting my chest with her tiny fist and I captured the other one before she could hit me again, not because it hurt far from it but because I didn't want her to hurt herself as I could see it was getting swollen from when she punched Tanya.

"I lived a hell because of those pictures! I literally almost died because of blood loss when I had the twins! I didn't want to relive that hell! You said we could take my pace on my own terms and that's what I did!" She yelled her voice breaking and scratchy from the effort.

"I get that!" I yelled back, still holding her hands to her sides "But that's why you should have told me! You should have made that call!"

"Edward you are hurting me!"

"I should have been there! If you almost died I should have been there! You shouldn't have gone alone through that!"

She pulled away harshly.

"BUT I WASN'T ALONE! I had dad and Carlisle with me!"

"IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE THERE! HELPING YOU! SEEING OUR KIDS BIRTH! SEEING THEM GROW UP!" I banged the table with my fist again. "I hurt too Bella! I made a mistake and I suffered because of it but nothing would ever compare to not having been there! That's the worst punishment you could have thrown at me! I missed you! I missed everything! I missed the first years of their lives because of you! I'll never get those years back because you couldn't suck it up!" I accused, my eyes pouring with tears.

Her breath got caught in her throat as I realized once again too late what I had said.

…

…

…

Fuck.

"You say I don't trust you… well, I can't see you haven't forgiven me either…" She whispered brokenly.

…

…

"Bella, I didn't mean it like that… I'm sorry, I'm just-"

"You meant it exactly like that." She tried to keep he voice evenly but failed miserably.

She started to walk away.

"No, Bella don't walk away!" I said shaking as fear crept up my body. "Don't do this!" I say taking her hand but she pulled away.

What had I just said?

Oh god.

"It's Ok…" She cried. "I get it."

"Bella I'm sorry, please understand... it wasn't supposed to sound like that." I begged but she shook her head.

…

…

"Don't come home tonight." Her voice cracked.

* * *

><p>I'm swaying on one of the swings on the twins' swing set in my parents' backyard while I stare at the stars on the clear night. After dad checked her hand and put a bandage on it, Bella left with a confused Marie and Andrew. It broke my heart when they asked why I wasn't coming home with them.<p>

"_Daddy has some stuff to do." _Bella had said for me in a zombie like state.

Then, right after Bella left I received a call from Chief Banner apparently they had finally reached Tanya's doctor and guess what?

It's a free will program.

She bailed weeks ago.

I wanted to laugh at my naivety, but couldn't find it in me.

Oh, and it gets better.

The hair results just came back too.

It's synthetic.

The intruder was wearing a wig.

Obviously I immediately told Banner what had just happened and that Tanya had threatened my… er the mother of my kids. They sent extra cruisers to patrol around the area and I asked for at least two cruisers to remain on Bella's street. Banner said they were going to arrest Tanya and take her in for questioning.

They were also going to question Victoria Carson.

I heard steps and lifted my face to see Jasper walking towards me.

"Need a shoulder?" He says taking the swing next to me.

"What have I done Jasper?" I say feeling lost.

"You let your emotions control you… it will be Ok Edward."

"No, it won't… You didn't listen to what I said, you didn't see her eyes." I said barely above a whisper.

The same eyes she had when she had walked away that morning, the same hurtful and lifeless eyes.

"Well… we all kind of did listen, you weren't too quiet per say."

"I bet she hates me, again."

All my efforts made for the past five months.

Gone in the blink of an eye.

I bury my face into my hands.

What have I done?

"You just need to talk when both of you have cooled down… Tanya's presence just stirred old feelings… or are you telling me you really meant what you said?"

"No, of course not… I don't blame her, I never blamed her…"

"You were overwhelmed… as was she, she'll understand you just need to talk to her."

…

…

…

"What are you feeling?" He asked softly.

"It hurts… everything hurts, learning the reason why she kept them away for that long, it hurt to know how much I hurt her even after that morning… now I understand a lot of things… her behavior, her distrust… her disorder. If I didn't blame her then, I blame her much less now after learning the truth."

He stayed quiet, letting me get it all out.

"I was angry at myself… and took it out on her…"

It made me so angry, knowing I was again at fault for everything… again I was the reason for her suffering, it made me mad at myself, I couldn't think clearly and it made me say things without even thinking.

"God Jasper, I can't believe what happed tonight." I finished pulling at my hair.

"Yes, those photos… god Edward… I'm sorry but I can't even begin to wonder how she must have felt."

"I feel like an idiot… she had mentioned the mail back in Ottawa, and she had referred to some images she couldn't get out of her head but I thought it was all metaphorical. Never in my most horrid nightmares would I have thought something like this had happened."

"Why didn't she tell you about them?"

"She said it didn't matter anymore…" I scoffed.

"And what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know Jasper…"

"Edward, Bella and you have come through so much stuff already… don't give up man." he said and tears fell from my eyes scarring my soul like sharp knives.

"Do I even have a chance?"

* * *

><p>I walk into my house.<p>

I didn't even bother to turn on the lights, I don't want to see the loneliness although I feel it as I hear the echo of my steps on the hardwood floor of the foyer.

Alone in this house again.

I can't believe how much I fucked up this time around.

Would she forgive me this time? Haven't I hurt her enough?

I ignore the pictures on the walls as I make my way up the stairs. I don't want to crumble yet… I prefer to be in my bed for that. I pass my study and ignore the room at the end of the hallway as always. I walk into my room and get rid of my clothes throwing them on the floor until I'm only in my briefs. With a heavy sigh I throw myself on my bed and look around in the darkness.

Back were everything started.

I squint my eyes and try to see the pictures hanging on the walls. The pictures of my family… the pictures of her and me and the new additions I hung a few weeks ago. Pictures of me and her… and our precious children.

I choke on my own sob as I replay in my head the first time I saw them. How my world had finally started moving again after years of utter standstill with just one look at them.

One look into their eyes.

"_Hi, I'm Andrew!"_

"_And this is my sister, Marie Esme." _

"_Hi!" _

The moment I saw their eyes… they owned me, and when Marie had told Andrew I wouldn't hurt him when he hurt his arm because I was their daddy… I was reborn.

They called me daddy.

I roll on my side and clutched a pillow against my chest.

I remember exactly how I felt… the way my world had turned around shaking me and waking me up. They gave me strength to fight for her.

"_We lost each other once… but now here we are again… in spite of everything that had happened between us… and… __**I love you**__, more than ever because now… Now I know what's like to live without you."_

My pretty girl…

What have I done?

I had her again… only to lose her after a few short weeks…

I replay in my mind what went on just a few our ago and I feel nauseated when I realize all I had said to her… how I yelled and restrained her hands, how I accused her for keeping the kids from me when in all honesty… I probably would have done the same after what I did… especially after receiving those damn photos.

She had been about to call…

She was about to call me when she saw Tanya's mail.

I understand now… why she believed I didn't want her, having proof of my actions was what sealed the deal for her and what ultimately was her fall. Dad had told me all about her disorder after having the kids, her depression… all my fault. Because of what I did… drugged or not, I recall pounding on Tanya, I recall kissing her… touching her… and Bella had seen this.

I bit the pillow to muffle my screams.

I'm an idiot.

I let her go again.

How could I let her go again? I need to talk to her. Yes, call her… I need to hear her voice, I need her. I need to tell her how sorry I am.

I grab my cell phone and press the first button on speed dial.

Her cell is off so I try the house.

It rings a couple of times, but I get the answering machine.

"_Hi this is Bella"_

"_And ANDREW!"_

"_And MARIE!"_

Then Bella chuckles.

"_Please leave a message."_

"_Bye!" The three of them say in unison, and then I hear the beep._

"Bella…" I start but nothing comes out.

What do I tell her? I fucked up big time.

"Bella," I try again "I'm so sorry pretty girl… I… I'm sorry, please answer me…" I sniff not being able to control my tears. My chest is burning with the pain of her silence, it shrinks my insides.

I wait for her to answer… but nothing.

I grab the portrait next to my bed where my favorite picture of us stands.

"Bella, we need to talk… I know you are mad at me and I understand if you never want to talk to me again…" I continue with a hoarse voice.

…

…

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean what I said… I'm not tired… I-I didn't mean it like that… I'll never tire of you, you are my life… and I don't blame you… I never did."

…

…

"I love you… please…"

The beep cuts my message before I can say anything else and I stare again and the big dark room.

It's too quiet.

Too cold…

Too alone.

I can't stand it.

I turn on the TV, attempting for the noise to take some of this eerie feeling away.

It doesn't work…

She left.

Again.

I thought about going to her house and begging on my knees, but then I remember Jaspers words.

"_You just need to talk when both of you have cooled down."_

"_We need time." _She had said too.

So I force myself to stay in my bed and hold our picture again, staring at her beautiful features, getting lost in our memories.

_Bella's head on my stomach as we read together laying in my study._

_Bella's soft lips on mine… my hands threading through her hair as we kiss passionately…_

_Her giggle… my favorite sound in the world… accompanied by her sparkling eyes._

_Bella's face full of paint stains as we have dinner together on the living room floor in front of the TV._

_Her bare back exposed to me as she rests atop my chest after making love… she loved how I traced my fingers along her spine._

_Her horrible singing while showering. _

_How she woke me up every morning with light kisses._

_Her temper… how she berated me for simple things like leaving the toilet seat up or for throwing my clothes on the floor._

_Her soft fingers in my hair… on my face… _

_Her joy… her laugher._

_Her caresses._

"I'm sorry…" I whisper at her image on the frame, while I still hold the phone against my ear.

And I cry…

I cry until I fall asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2: It's Not Over<strong>

**"It's Not Over" – Secondhand Serenade**

_My tears run down like razorblades__  
><em>_And no, I'm not the one to blame__  
><em>_It's you or is it me?__  
><em>_And all the words we never say__  
><em>_Come out and now we're all ashamed__  
><em>_And there's no sense in playing games__  
><em>_When you've done all you can do__But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?__  
><em>_We had the chance to make it__  
><em>_Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over__  
><em>_I wish that I could take it back__  
><em>_But it's over__I lose myself in all these fights__  
><em>_I lose my sense of wrong and right__  
><em>_I cry, I cry__  
><em>_It's shaking from the pain that's in my head__  
><em>_I just wanna crawl into my bed__  
><em>_And throw away the life I led__  
><em>_But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die_

2 weeks later…

"What do you mean you can't find her?!" I yell over the phone.

"_We are doing everything we can Mr. Cullen… we have been looking for her since she left from her parents house two weeks ago. Please be patient."_

I pinch the bridge of my nose to try to regain my temper.

"Banner, how can you ask me that? There's a crazy crack addict out there after my… the mother of my kids… and probably my kids as well!"

"_Nothing will happen to Miss Swan or your kids sir, the house is being watched 24/7 by two cruisers and I have another two making rounds around the block."_

"Have you found anything at all? Do you have any more news?" I ask in frustration.

Fucking cops, they are way better on TV.

"_No, but we finally gotten Miss Carson to talk. As expected, Miss Denali paid the nurse to cover for her, but she never knew the reasons… her license has been retired and she was fired from the centre… Dr. Daniels –Tanya's therapist and director of the centre- had no idea of what was going on until we called him asking for Miss Denali two weeks ago."_

"Ok, ok… if you know anything else please call me as soon as possible." I say letting myself fall on my big couch at my office.

"_Of course Mr. Cullen, we'll catch her."_

"I hope so." I say hanging up.

Two weeks.

For two weeks the cops have been looking for her, for two weeks I haven't slept at all.

The morning after fucking Thanksgiving, Banner called telling me they had gone to the Denali's house after our call that night, but Tanya was already gone. She escaped through a window.

Fucking cliché.

Anyway, since then I have resumed my old habits from when Bella and the kids first moved to Toronto. After visiting the kids after their dinner I would drive for a couple of hours and then when they were asleep I would park outside the house and watch after them. The first time I almost got arrested until I showed the cops my ID and they called Banner and he explained who I was.

Banner said it wasn't necessary, that they had the area surrounded but I learned to trust my gut instinct a while ago and that instinct told me now to be careful. So that's the reason why I haven't slept in two weeks and the reason I'm all cranky and barking at anyone who crosses my path today.

That and the awkward situation Bella and I are now.

I tried to talk to her, but as expected she asked me for time.

She says I need to know what I really want, that my outburst wasn't a good sign. I don't know how many times I apologized and tried to explain why I reacted that way but if it didn't make much sense to me of course it wouldn't make sense to her.

I tried to explain to her that I wasn't angry at her, that I was angry at everything, at the situation and at me for hurting her. That to learn about those pictures scared me and I just took a defensive pose. But she doesn't believe me because she thinks it was expected of me to hate her after what she did.

We are back to the beginning, but kind of in a backwards way.

My cell phone rings and I frown as I see the ID.

"Rose?" I answer a little uncertain as she rarely calls me.

"_Hi Edward, ehmm are you busy?"_

"No, what up?"

"_Are you going to be at your office for long?"_

I check my watch.

"About two more hours, why?"

…

…

"_Can I bring Liam? I want to start a medical record with you."_

"Of course." I say smiling a little to myself.

I remembered when I met him a week ago… I had taken the kids to brunch at my parents on Sunday and Rosalie and Emmett had brought Liam to meet the rest of the family for the first time. He was a cute little kid, shy at first with dark hair and his big blue eyes held a lot of pain, probably from the life he had endured before Rose and Em adopted him.

Em and Rose were the prefect parents for him, Em was the silliness and joy he needed in his life and Rose was the over protective loving mother. Marie and Liam clicked instantly as both of them were shy, but after a few hours Andrew had managed to play superheroes with him and I was glad for the distraction as Andrew and Marie kept asking why mommy wasn't coming with us.

I flinched at the pain of remembering their questions.

It got worse when they asked if it was weekend yet so I could move in with them.

To make matters worse, Bella said she needed to work and wanted the couple of days to herself, so the kids had been staying with me over the weekends but I knew she was just trying to avoid me.

Just like at the beginning.

And it hurt a fucking lot.

"_Can you wait for us? We are at the mall, getting him a few things so I think we can be there in about an hour and a half."_

"Sure, I'll wait for you."

"_Thanks!"_

I hung up and close my eyes, and then it occurred to me that if I waited for Rose and do a general check-up to Liam I probably won't make it to Bella's house.

"Dammit." I mutter to myself as I remembered the stunt Marie had played a few days ago.

_I was about to head to the office when my phone rang, my heart stopped as soon as I saw Bella's name on the caller ID._

"_Bella?" I answered instantly. "Are you alright?"_

_I say as images of Tanya getting to them invade my mind._

"_Yes… uhm, where are you?" She says awkwardly, it has been like this between us since thanksgiving six days ago._

"_I'm at my house." I answer._

"_Could you come over? Marie is not feeling well." She says and I'm out of house in a heartbeat._

"_What's wrong with her?" I ask as my heart accelerates again "Did she have another attack?"_

"_No, she's… I don't know… she seems fine to me and doesn't have temperature… but she says her stomach hurts and her happy lung too."_

_I frown._

"_Ok… I'll be there in ten minutes."_

_Seven minutes later I park outside their home and ring the doorbell. Bella answers the door but avoids my eyes._

"_She's upstairs in her room." She says and I follow her._

_Once I enter in her room I sat on Marie's bed and gave her a quick once over._

_Bella's right, she seems fine._

"_Hi princess." I kiss her cheek "You not feeling well?"_

_She shakes her head, but her eyes remain down casted. I take out my stethoscope and take her pressure._

"_Tell me what you feel honey?"_

"_My stomach hurts."_

"_What did you have for dinner last night?"_

"_Chicken."_

"_Have you been eating any candies?" I ask as I feel her stomach._

"_Yes?" She asks more than states._

"_What type of candies?"_

"_Uhmm… don't member." She mumbles looking down again._

"_Mommy said your happy lung hurts… is that true? Do you have trouble breathing?"_

"_Yes." She says but I already checked her blood pressure and its fine as wells as her air cavities._

_I stare at her._

"_Bella," I say turning towards the door to look at her. "Would you give us a moment please?" I say and she nods in understanding before leaving and I turn back to stare at my daughter._

"_What's wrong baby?"_

"_I'm sick." She says._

"_No you are not." I say softly._

"_Yes, I have a cough too." She says coughing and if this wasn't serious I would have laughed. She was as a bad liar as Bella was._

"_Honey… I know you are not sick, now tell what's going on?" I ask caressing her hair so she would know I'm not mad._

"_Are you not living wiv us anymore?"_

_I sigh as a little bit of my soul leaves my body._

"_I'm sorry baby." I say not knowing how to answer._

"_You and mommy not in love anymore?"_

"_I love your mother with all my heart, and I know she loves me too." I trace my fingers along her cheek._

"_Then why you not here wiv us?"_

"_It's complicated honey… but no matter what me and mommy love you more than anything Ok? Always remember that."_

_Her chin quivers._

"_Oh princess don't cry…" I say lifting her and sitting her on my lap as I wrap my arms around her "It's going to be Ok." I say trying to keep my own tears at bay._

_After Marie had calmed down she fell asleep. I laid her back on her mattress and walked out of her room. I go downstairs guessing Bella must be in the kitchen as the smell of omelets hit my nostrils._

"_Is she Ok?" Bella asks hearing my entrance._

"_She will be." I answer and she nods._

…

…

"_Bella, we need to talk-"_

"_No we don't."_

"_Yes we do… I'm sorry, I didn't mean t-"_

"_You know Edward you need to find new excuses… that one is getting old."_

_I flinched at her tone._

"_Bella, I'm sorry."_

_She slams a dish on the sink_

"_For what exactly? For calling me stupid again? For not telling me about the stalker? For yelling at me? For insulting me? For making assumptions?"_

"_I'm sorry! Bella, I was overwhelmed with everything that happened that night… please understand!"_

"_Watch your tone, Andrew's in the living room. And no, I can't understand… what do you expect of me? To just forget what you said? I've been trying so hard these past months to forgive you and myself for everything that happened for us, only for you to slap everything again in my face at the first opportunity?"_

"_Bella it took me by surprise, I didn't expect what happened. How many times do I have to apologize?"_

"_None, we are done." She said with a tone of finality._

"_What?" I hear myself say._

"_We are done, this is what I feared… that stunt Marie just played? I won't have them suffering again because of us Edward, we tried but you haven't forgiven me and I can't forget what happened."_

"_Bella don't do this! I haven't forgiven you because there is nothing to forgive! I told you since the beginning I understand why you did it, and after what I learned that night? How can I have anything against you?" I plead but she looks out of the window._

"_Bella? I love you… please… we were so close… don't you love me?"_

…

…

"_I do… that's why it hurts, that's why I can't keep doing this to myself… I promised myself I wouldn't have expectations but I did… what happened was just a warning… I don't want to suffer again Edward…" _

"_Pretty girl…"_

"_Please respect my decision."_

* * *

><p>"Edward?" I hear my dad's voice after a soft knock.<p>

"Yes?" I say as I turn around to see him poking his head through the door.

"Rosalie called, she say she won't make it." He says walking into my office and I sigh as I see my watch.

It's seven thirty, the kids go to bed at eight thirty. I won't make it.

"Great." I mutter to myself.

"Are you Ok son?"

I throw him a look that answers his question.

"Alright… I better go then."

He is about to turn around but I speak before he can take another step.

"How was it?"

"Pardon me?"

"The birth."

"I wasn't there son, I arrived just in time for Marie."

"What happened afterwards?"

He looks at me with that look he has when he's trying to solve a puzzle.

"What exactly do you want to know?"

I don't know.

"You lost a son…" I start.

"Yes."

"I'm trying to wonder what would be like if they hadn't make it."

"Why?"

I shrug.

"I'm just wondering what would have been worse… losing someone I never knew… or this. Knowing what I lost."

He closes the door and comes to sit on the chair in front of me.

"Edward, when we lost Andrew your mother and I suffered a lot as you can remember… we couldn't even go through his things, but now? When we think of him we are thankful for the little time we did have with him, no matter how much we suffered."

"That's a hypocritical thing to say, considering you didn't tell me about my kids… taking away my time with them."

"Edward… you are a father now, and you have already made your fair share of mistakes in this short time, we are not born perfect. As I said at the dinner we do what we think best… I told you before why I did it, Bella was a mess and she was under a lot of stress it could have affected the pregnancy. See what happened because of those photos." He says and I wince "then she went into a deep depression… I didn't know about Tanya but think about it. If I had forced her to call you what do you think that would have done to her?"

…

…

…

"I know you are still angry at me son, but by putting the woman you love and your children first… in my eyes I was really putting _you_ first."

I bit the inside of my cheek to restrain myself from crying.

"You would have hated me more if I had done the ethical thing and told you what was going on and Bella and you wouldn't have been ready and it would have ruined your relationship forever, and even worse… if Bella had lost them before they were born."

…

…

…

"What do I do dad?" I ask brokenly, finally letting my tears fall in front of my father "I don't want to lose them. I said a bunch of things I shouldn't have."

"Speak in anger… and you'll give the greatest speech you'll ever regret. Wait for her to calm down… she loves you, I saw it then and I see it now. You won't lose them."

…

…

…

"Thank you." I say softly, drying my tears with my hands and he nods.

"I'll better go, your mom is waiting for me… she says she has a surprise for me." He smiles slightly "Hang in there son, you've been through worse."

I nod staring into space and he lifts from his chair.

And then he's gone.

* * *

><p>An hour later I'm dragging my feet into my deadly silent house.<p>

I hate it.

For a moment, I think briefly about moving somewhere else. The only reason I stayed here after she left was because of her memories but now? There's nothing holding me to it.

Only pain.

I'm tired of the pain, and the crying and my regrets. This house held as much precious memories as nightmares.

I go into my kitchen and open the fridge, I'm not hungry so instead I grab a bottle of water next to Marie's grape juice. I chug it down and throw the bottle on the sink, it clanks next to Bella's mug.

With a heavy sigh I decide to go upstairs and probably do some reading while I wait for Bella to fall asleep so I can go and check on them again tonight.

I walk up the stairs and again ignore everything, the photos, the door at the end of the hallway, her things… everything.

I can crumble later.

I open the door to my room and frown as I realize the light is on, and then I heard something coming from the closet. With my heart beating fast on my chest I walk as silently as I can an open the door.

And I freeze.

…

…

…

The old blue sweater is not on the floor anymore.

She has it clutched against her chest… along with her favorite book that used to be on her bedside table.

"Bella?" I choke out and she turns around with a start.

We lock eyes with each other for an endless second, and with a mix of a sob and a cry… she drops everything to the floor and throws herself into my arms. Pressing her lips firmly against mine and circling my waist with her legs.

I stumble backwards as I catch her, careful of not falling on my ass and hurting her until we fall on my bed.

"Oh my god oh my god… I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Bella cries as she kisses me all over my face straddling my waist.

"I love you." I say as I take her face between my hands to bring her lips back to mine, her sweet lips that I have missed so much these past two weeks. My heart is beating so fast I'm sure I'm about to have a heart attack.

"I love you more." She mumbles against my mouth and her kisses are enough to stir junior awake.

I flip us around so now I'm hovering over her, pressing myself against her core. Bella feels me my hardening cock and shivers under me, quickly she removes my shirt while I unbutton my pants with haste. A second later I'm back attacking her mouth and I feel her pulling my pants and boxers down with her feet and legs. I grab the hem of her shirt and I hear a ripping sound as I pull it over her head revealing her breasts and pale soft skin. Soon enough every piece of clothing ends up together in a small pile on the floor.

"I love you. I love you I love you I love you." She says circling my neck with her arms, her hands roaming all over my back and torso.

"No more than I do." I say breathless, my dick pulsing and aching with need. I needed to be inside of her, now. I craved her, I wanted her.

"Edward? Please?" She asks wrapping her legs around my waist and her hips thrust upwards telling me what she wants, making my cock impossibly harder with anticipation.

I look down into her eyes, still unsure of what we are doing, my blood races through my system in excitement and nervousness, but as seconds pass my brain stops thinking and reason flies out of the window and I just want to have her.

"Please Edward, I need you." She cries and I nod frantically.

Whatever she asks for.

"Are you sure?" I ask brushing her hair away from her face, our breathing is heavy and labored. My chest heaving against hers.

"Yes… please, take me."

She didn't need to ask twice.

I rip her panties off, and in a swift motion I slam inside of her.

* * *

><p><strong>They do say make-up sex is the best ;)<strong>

**Finally! The secrets are out! I was going to leave you with another cliffie but then realized I have had cliffies for the past 3 chaps and didn't think it was fair.**

**Anyway, I hope Bella punching Tanya in the face satisfied you for now ;)**

**So, PHOTOS! Who of you guessed right? I know of a few of you who reread the story and figured it all out about the photos!**

**Who of you thought Edward was a total douche? Who of you thought Bella was being a martyr? I wanna know!**

**Now, where the heck is Tanya? What do you think should be a fair end for her? LET ME KNOW!**

**A lot happened in this chapter, I want to know what you guys thought!**

**If you leave me enough love I'll probably post during the weekend!**

**Saludos!**

tpec


	33. Chapter 33: Chasing Cars

**Surprise! 2 Chapters in one week!**

**Hi guys! I'll be short because I have a filming right now and can't be late! (therefore this chapter is not proof read, but I'm off until late at night and I wanted to share this with you as soon as possible!)**

**As promised, here it is! THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR REVIEWS! We broke our record! almost 300! Thank you sooo much for your response! and I can see we are on square one again! We have Team Edward and Team Bella readers again!**

**Special thanks to my beta Cattinson and Pre-reader Lisopera!**

**SM owns the world!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 33: Chasing Cars<p>

"**Chasing Cars" – Snow Patrol**

We'll do it all  
>Everything, in our own<br>We don't need  
>Anything, or anyone<p>

I don't quite know  
>How to say, how I feel<br>Those three words  
>Are said too much<br>They're not enough

If I lay here, if I just lay here  
>Would you lie with me and just forget the world?<br>Forget what we're told  
>Before we get too old<br>Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time  
>Chasing cars<br>Around our heads

I need your grace  
>To remind me<br>To find my own

I'm staring at the ceiling of the room watching the sun come up through the window.

A few would say I should be repulsed by being here, in this bed where my life changed but I can't bring myself to hate it in this moment. I'm lying with the person who also changed my world… the person who I love more than anything, the person who I share endless memories with. This room as much as it brought pain that morning also holds these beautiful memories. I can see them everywhere, on the walls, on the desk, the bedside tables…

He never changed anything.

I turn to my side with a sigh and pressed my face into the crook of his neck I inhale his unique and heart stopping scent -a perfect mix between Armani and his after shave- while I lightly trace my fingers over his hard chest. I loved his body before, but god… when I saw him on Esme's birthday at the pool? Dear god he looked like Michelangelo's David.

He instinctively wraps his arms tighter around me, and I welcome his warmth. I feel safe here, but above all…

I feel loved.

A few tears fall down my cheeks and continue their trail along my nose.

I had been so stubborn, so fearful.

When Rose appeared on my doorstep yesterday I was confused as she dragged me out of the house. She said she had told Esme to pick up the kids at school and that I needed to see something.

"_If after this, if you still doubt him then there is no hope for the two of you." _

Were her only words and I threw a fit when I realized where she was taking me.

"_Just go inside Bella, please… you need to see something."_

"_And what the hell do I have to see?!"_

"_Just do it… the key is still under the step."_

With that she let me there standing in the driveway. It took me about an hour to get the courage to go inside, I even went for a walk around the block thinking about it.

But I finally did it.

And fuck…

I stood there for a few minutes fearful of taking another step, afraid of what I would find. Tears fell down my cheeks as soon as I saw the pictures on the walls and counters in the living room, a sob broke through my chest as I entered the kitchen and saw the mug, magnets and jars… and I fell on my knees the moment I entered his room.

I didn't know how long I stayed there on my knees on the threshold taking it all in. My books, my make-up, magazines, brushes… everything was there, in the same place. Then I walked into his bathroom and still couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing. My toothbrush was still next to his, my shampoo bottle and sponge in the shower stall.

Next was his walk-in closet, and oh god the sweater… I fell to my knees again as I clutched it against my chest. I remembering dropping it the day before the wedding, I had planned to use it while getting ready but changed my mind and pulled it off, opening one of his drawers and taking one of his shirts instead. The same white shirt I was wearing that morning and the very same white shirt I used almost every day while I was pregnant.

And I cried… I cried and I cried as if there was no end.

Flashes from the past took forefront in my mind and my whimpers transformed into angry sobs as I remembered all Tanya had done. I remembered the wicked look in her eyes when she approached me outside the hospital, then I remembered the blood. The blood I shred when the placenta detached, Charlie's frightened eyes when he saw me lying on the floor in pain and a pool of blood. All because of those damn pictures.

Those pictures killed me… for the next four years I was dead on my feet, I never smiled or laughed, I only smiled for them but even then it was all fake. I remembered putting my mask everyday and fighting the pain I felt, especially when I saw into their eyes. It made it all worse because I felt guilty too.

But I couldn't face him, I hated him.

I hated him for the pain he had inflicted in me, I hated him for making me believe in fairytales, I hated him for killing my dreams and hopes. I hated him for reminding me of my childhood. He had cheated on me, on our wedding day. I had felt humiliated, worthless, ugly and powerless.

And I hated him the most because I still loved him like the very first day.

I remember the look on his face when his eyes landed on the twins for the first time. I saw the wonder and the pain. It ripped in tiny pieces me knowing what I had done… but I couldn't face him… I couldn't stand the pain, I couldn't see him, just the thought of seeing him was enough to make me retort in pain. Every time I thought of him I would feel like choking on my own breaths. The pain was… I couldn't even explain it.

But now…

Now I know.

It was all lies…

He never stopped loving me he never intended to do it.

He loves me as much as I love him.

Which makes the pain worse.

So I had stood up from the floor and was about to go find him when I heard his voice. I had turned around and the moment I saw into his broken eyes I knew I would never be able to part from him again.

I can't be mad at him, not after this… knowing he suffered as much as I did.

I can't feel anger anymore… I'm tired of this game.

I love him, and that's only what matters.

I didn't want to think of her, of the past or the future. I only wanted to think of him, I needed him. So we had made love… no, we _fucked_ but that was just as good. That's how I needed him, I wanted him to fuck me senseless and make me forget about everything. I wanted just for a second for it to be just him and me in the world, I wanted to concentrate solely on this unbelievable beautiful creature sleeping next to me. And after both of us found our release –twice by the way- we just laid there in silence, feeling each other as we didn't need words. Just being in the moment, being with each other and after calling Esme asking her if she could keep the kids for tonight, we fell asleep in each others' arms.

I kissed his chest and went back to sleep again.

**EPOV:**

The alarm on my clock woke me up, and I quickly turn around to turn it off before she wakes up. Once it's off I turn back and wrap my arms around her again as she stirs a little.

"Shhh…" I coo to her and she buries her face deeper in my neck taking a deep breath as I kiss her forehead.

"Ed…ward?" She mumbles.

"I'm here… go back to sleep beautiful." I whisper against her ear.

Once she is asleep again, reluctantly I withdraw myself carefully from the bed and look around for my pants. Once I spot them I lift them from the floor and take out my phone from the pocket.

**Heidi, I'm not coming to**

**the clinic today. Please**

**have Stanley take my **

**patients if he can. –E**

"Edward?" I hear Bella's voice again and I turn around to see her moving her arms around looking for me. I put my phone on the nightstand and lay next to her again.

"I'm here sweet girl." I say kissing her cheek tenderly and she flutters her eyes open.

We stare into each others' eyes, and I lift my hand to trace my fingers along her face. Somehow, I want to make sure she is real… that she is here with me, that I'm touching her, that she is touching me too.

"I missed you." I say and she grabs my hand holding it firmly against her cheek.

"I missed you too… I'm sorry."

I shake my head and kiss her mouth shut.

"Not yet… let me enjoy this for a while." I say not wanting yet to break the spell with heavy conversation.

"Ok." She kisses the palm of my hand and I rub my thumb under her eye. "Thank you."

"For what?" I rub my nose along hers and she closes her eyes.

"Last night was amazing." A tear falls from her left eye and I kiss it away.

"I love you." I kiss her lips. "Did… did I hurt you? I'm sorry… I got carried away."

"I'm fine… that's what I needed."

We fell silent again and we just lay here on our sides for a while, caressing each other lazily and communicating everything we feel for each other through our eyes.

"What were you doing here?" I ask suddenly.

"Rose." She says quietly.

Now her last minute phone call made sense.

…

…

"Is it yet now?" She asks.

"20 questions?" I ask trying to lift the mood and she smiles a little giving me a small nod. "Alright… ladies first."

…

…

…

"My stuff… why didn't you put it in storage?" She asks hesitantly.

Easy.

But painful.

"I didn't want to let go… I hoped you'd return someday."

"What if I hadn't?"

"I would have kept them still… I refused to let go."

She nods.

My turn.

"If I hadn't found you at the park, when would you have told me?"

"I was going to look for you that summer, I told you I had come looking for you once but backtracked at the last minute. I couldn't wait anymore, Carlisle was silently pressuring me and the kids were asking for you."

"Yes… I remember."

"Why were you really in Ottawa? Alice told me once that you never left the city before that time."

My heart twists in pain just thinking about it.

…

…

"I thought you had moved on… I was tired of my family so I needed to escape for a couple of days…" My left hand goes dawn her arm and I take her hand bringing it to my lips "it's really ironic I found what I had been looking for instead." I chuckled without humor placing her hand on my face.

"Why did you think I had moved on?" She frowns.

"Oh… hmm well, Alice saw you… I think a few weeks before that day. I think I told you before?" I as unsure "Anyway," I shake my head "you were on the beach and she saw you with Marie but didn't see her face, she's small so she thought you had gotten married or something and had a kid."

She arise her eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes… so, my family started hovering again telling me I should move on and shit like that, I got sick of it… I went to Ottawa but I couldn't care less about the convention and went for a walk."

"And you spilled my beverage on me." She smiled longingly.

I snorted remembering the incident.

"And I spilled your beverage on you… again." I confirm.

She smiles tenderly as she threads her fingers through my hair making me close my eyes to enjoy the gesture.

"At least this time it was cold… the first time when I met you I wanted to strangle you. It burned and hurt like hell."

"Well, you seemed pretty happy to me." I say opening my eyes again.

"That's because I wanted to get some hot guy to buy me coffee." She teased and I kiss her nose and then her mouth. She opens her lips to me and I deepen the kiss. After a moment she pulled away in need of air.

She sighs and rests her forehead on my shoulder.

"Apart from when I gave birth… I've never been more frightened than that day."

I frowned.

"Why?" I brush her hair away from her face with my hand.

"Because I thought you'd hate me… I felt so guilty…" She says without looking at me "and then I feared you'd be so mad you'd take them away from me."

"Bella, I would never do that." I say firmly.

"I know… but still, I thought I didn't know you then… Carlisle tried to tell me about you, he tried to convince me to call you but I didn't listen. I was living in my own world I only existed for them… I begged him to give me time, he was reluctant and I felt awful for what I was asking him to do but I couldn't do it alone, I didn't have a job then and after the birth I couldn't work right away either… he also paid for my therapist when my disorder and post natal depression kicked in."

"For how long did you see the therapist?"

"I started about four months after the birth… and continued for about two years… I stopped a little more than a year before you found me."

"Why didn't you call me then? Weren't you better by then?"

She shook her head.

"A lot time had passed already and it got harder… I was scared."

I kissed both of her cheeks.

"You shouldn't have been." I rested my forehead against hers and breathe her in.

"I know now… I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am. I know I'll never be able to give you that time back… I know I was selfish but I was so angry and sad and pained and scared to see any reason."

"You weren't the only one who made mistakes…" I say fearing my next question. "Bella, I need to know exactly how you feel about it all… I need to know if you can really trust me again."

She sighed resting her head on my chest again, thought for a moment and pulled away to look into my eyes.

"I trust you… I really do, I understand why and how it happened. I still see it as cheating but… I don't know it's hard to explain… I know you didn't do it on purpose, I know you were tricked into it. It hurts because you were an active participant and I had to see it" I winced "but I also know you weren't in your right mind set. So I can't hold you completely responsible… as you said you made a mistake and made some poor decisions, but I trust you not to make them again."

"Never pretty girl, I swear."

"And I believe you."

I placed my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her face to mine capturing her lips with mine. I felt her tears fall and mix with mine on my cheeks and I pulled away to kiss those too.

"Thank you." I breathe.

She nodded.

"Your turn…" I said.

"Do you think you can really forgive me for what I did? What you said at your parents' house… you seemed pretty sure of yourself." She asks and I can see the slight fear in her eyes.

"Before I answer your question… I want to apologize." I pause to see her reaction and she remains quiet waiting for me to continue.

"Bella, I'd been dealing with a lot too these past years… especially these last few weeks. I'm stressed, tired, and tense because of everything that has happened, these past months had been an emotional roller coaster and when she appeared there… I freaked out, I feared her presence setting us back and it triggered something within me, I was angry… but I wasn't angry at you… I was angry at everything life had thrown at us and I'm sorry I took it out on you. You didn't deserve it, I was being irrational."

"I can understand that, but Edward… you called me stupid again…" She whimpered, her eyes filling with tears again.

I shut my eyes closed.

You are a real asshole Cullen.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I say sincerely but she doesn't answers immediately.

…

…

…

"Rene called me stupid that night…" She explains "please Edward don't ever insult me like that again… it hurts more when you say it because I care about you and it makes me think about my childhood."

"She did?" I asked aghast.

"_That stupid little girl ruined my life _were her exact words." She says looking down.

What?!

"Oh god, I'm so sorry Bella… I had no idea, not that it justifies it but still I'm sorry baby." I kiss her all over her face.

"It's ok, just don't do it again."

…

…

…

"Can I ask you a question related to your mother?"

"Yes."

I take her hand again and stare at the bracelet I gave her the night of the gala.

"Did you really see me like her?"

She grimaced.

"Before I came back, yes… in my eyes you had done the same thing as her. She changed Charlie for his exact opposite, a young adventurous socialite rich boy… I thought the story was repeating itself."

"But I didn't leave you… you didn't let me explain, you were the one who left."

She shrugged.

"Semantics… you could have left me later? I don't know, I was shocked I couldn't think clearly so I just left. I'm used to run away… I'm not good at facing things."

"Yes you are… you faced a pregnancy on your own and raised our kids alone too. You took responsibilities there."

She shook her head.

"I ran away from forks, from my old life and from my past. Then I ran away from you… I took the easy way out… just like my parents, mom left us because she didn't want to take responsibility and Charlie wasn't there for me either, although he was, with the twins, I think he was trying to make amends."

"You are braver than you think, sometimes it takes more strength to let go than to hold onto something."

"You really think that?"

"Yes, you didn't run away from Forks… you were strong enough to start new, in a strange city, on your own. To start a new life, the happy life you deserved. As for what happened with us… you had your reasons, I never once thought you were weak, you just listened to your survival instincts."

"Why are so reasonable?" Her eyes tear up again.

"I have my moments." I smiled sadly at her.

"And I'm glad for them." She kisses me chastely. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Anything."

"What were you thinking when you tried to kill yourself?"

Didn't see that one coming.

"I told you… I-"

"Yes, I know about my perfume… but I want to know what was going through your head at the moment."

…

…

"I hated myself… not only because of what I did to you but also because of what I had become of myself… I was a burden to my family and I wasn't even working at the time… and I missed you… I didn't plan it but I also didn't stop it either. I thought my life was over so I didn't see the point of continuing to breathe."

Tears were falling free from her eyes now.

"Edward…" She whimpered. "You silly pretty boy, what would I have done without you?" She kisses my chest.

"I'm sorry, but Bella… you know this. I don't know how many times I've told you how much you mean to me. You are my entire world… if something were to happen to you I would follow you immediately."

"Don't say such things…" She says harshly "What about the twins? They need you too."

"I didn't say it literally, what happened was more of an accident. What I mean is that I if your life were to stop mine would too, like the years you were gone. Call me masochistic but I would stop living… I might be breathing but I wouldn't be alive. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do, more than you think."

"Bella, I know we still have a long road ahead of us… but I also feel stronger, I'm exhausted but not weaker. I told you once you were it for me and I'll say it again. I love you like I've never had and never will love anyone ever. If I had to chose between one day with you or a lifetime without you I'll choose you because I would be dead anyway. I'm here, and I'll always be here waiting for you until you decide to take me forever…"

"Take you forever?"

"Yes, pretty girl… look around… I couldn't get rid of your stuff just in case you returned… I kept them because they also reminded me of you, because I didn't want to forget… I needed your presence somehow and I feared you'd forget me or that somehow what we had hadn't been real… we shared so many wonderful things and I couldn't bring myself to turn the page… I love you I just want to be with you, there would never ever be anyone else…"

I turn on my back and open the drawer taking the little black velvet box, hearing her gasp as soon as she sees it. I sat on the bed and helped her sit up too in front of me as she wraps her naked frame with the blankets.

"This is yours." I say handing her the closed box into her shaking hands "You don't have to say yes now you don't have to say yes ever. I want you to have it because I want you to know that as soon as you say the word I'm yours, I'm already yours it's up to you to take me. I won't ask you again and you don't have to say anything… just wear it when you are ready and we'll do it. No questions asked. I'm here I always have and always will be here."

"Edward…. I-I" She sobs staring at the little box between her hands.

I silenced her with my lips.

"You don't have to say anything now," I rest my forehead against hers "think about it. Just know that if you eventually do wear it… you'll make me the happiest man on earth. We can make it work… we'll make it work."

"I'm… I don't know what to say…" She whispers still eyeing the box.

"It's Ok, you don't have to say anything."

…

…

…

"Can I show you something then?" She looks up hopeful.

I frown.

"Of course."

She places the box on her bedside table, stands up from the bed – her legs a little wobbly- and picks up my shirt putting it on, and then she throws me my old sweats that were on a chair nearby.

"Are you too sore?" I ask worriedly, ignoring the feelings of seeing her in only my shirt awakens on me.

"I'm Ok." She stretches her hand out to me. "Come with me."

I put my pants on and do as she says. She takes my hand and takes me out of the room and down the hallway.

"Bella?" I ask incredulous as she stops in front of the door to her private gallery.

"You bared your soul to me… not only this morning but you did it also at the park… when you talked to me about Andrew… I think it's time for me to do the same…"

"Are you sure?" I say shakily "I know this is important to you."

"It is, but you are more important to me… the idea of marriage is still something alien to me, but still… I want to give you everything I am."

I nod in awe.

"You have the key?" She asks and I shake my head.

"You had the only key, and I respected you wishes and never came into this room."

"Of course…" She thinks for a moment "Oh!" She gasps before standing on her toes and stretching her arm upwards feeling around the door frame until she produces a little key.

"I had a copy." She smiles before inserting the key on the lock with trembling hands.

We hear the soft clank of the door being unlock, she takes a deep breath and two seconds later she opens the door. She walks into the dark room pulling me behind her, and I feel the urge to sneeze at the amount of dust.

"Let me open the window." She says stepping away and walking straight across from me and pulls the courting up, as soon as she does a bright ray of sunshine illuminates the small white room.

I look around flabbergast at the amount of canvases in different types and forms, -all of them full in rich oil colors- lined up against the walls or on top of each other and a few more hanging on the walls. On the left side of the room, next to a full length mirror I can see canvas after canvas where the cold colors are more predominant while on the right side of the room reds, oranges and yellows fill every painting.

"Bella…" I gasp in awe the smell of old dried paint and oil hitting my nostrils hard.

She is an artist… a real artist. She used a realistic technique with a little bit of abstract in it. But she was an impressionist, I could see it in her light strokes and how her paintings resembled the passing of time in mundane every-day stuff. I don't know… it's hard to explain, she had her own style.

As I continue to scan the room my eyes fell on a canvas settled on a tripod with a blanket covering it, next to the window with a stool in front of it and a small table with a tray next to it, the tray held a few glasses with dried old brushes, a pallet and some oils.

As I'm still in awe, she takes my hand again and pulls me to the left side of the room and she sat on the floor, motioning me to do the same. She starts looking around for something and I still had yet to say something. In all honesty I had expected to see something average as she had never taken any classes… but god she was gifted, hence my awestruck silence.

"I'm not going to ask you what you think… because as I told you once, I paint for myself so it doesn't matter if I'm good or not… I just want to show you who I am through this." She said as she kept looking around through some rolled up canvas sheets. "Ah… here." She pulled out one that looked pretty old. "This is my first painting ever… I used water colors then…" She says unrolling the sheet and handing it to me.

"You were even amazing then…" I whispered as I saw the dark paint with a broken tree in the middle of a meadow. The flowers and the grass were dried, the moon shone in the starless sky and a wolf could be seen in the distance. The emotions and colors in it were overwhelming.

"How old were you?"

"I think I was ten?" She flips the sheet around and I see a few digits. "Yes, almost eleven."

So she started to show me painting after painting, all of them labeled and with a specific reason or emotion as the morning progressed. I could see she used forests a lot in her early years or single objects standing out, like a flower, a tree or a barefoot ballerina. When we were done we moved to the other side of the room.

The brighter side.

"These are from when I moved to Toronto…"

The paintings where still a little dark, but the colors where brighter… she used lighter greens and yellows.

"And these ones right here… are from when I met you."

The contrasts were fierce with the autumn and summer sceneries instead of the dark winters. Then a particular paining with a man on a bench in the middle of a meadow captured my eye.

"Is that me?" I asked as I noticed the reddish hair shining like fire against the light of the sun.

She chuckled.

"Maybe?"

I kissed her temple and wrapped my arm around her shoulder bringing her closer. Then she showed me a painting of two people holding hands, which immediately was my favorite.

"I like this one… a lot." I said making her sit between my legs and I rest my chin on her shoulder.

"That one I painted it after our second date at the gallery… when we kissed for the first time."

My heart constricted with the bittersweet memory and I feel my eyes water all over again.

"Bella, you are really talented… you are amazing." I kiss her shoulder and neck.

"Thank you." She rested her head back on my shoulder.

"I'm serious… if you ever feel like hanging some of these at my mother's gallery… I'm sure she would say yes immediately." I said lifting her chin up and looking into her eyes so she would see I was serious but she shook her head.

"This was hard enough… I feel vulnerable enough showing only _you_ these."

"You shouldn't be," I say placing my hands on her cheeks "I want to know you because I love you… I want to know everything about you and nothing would ever change what I feel for you."

"I love you too Edward… and I'm sorry for my mistakes, I want to start fresh with you, with no more secrets or misinterpretations, this is what I am… I'm still that broken little girl from that night and I might never get over it, I have a past… I'm not perfect but neither are you… if you want me you have to accept me as this. I might have my ups and downs but I promise you this… I love you and I won't take you for granted, I'll cherish you every day and I'll do my best to make it work, not because of our kids but because I want to, because I love you and I want to be with you."

I pull her face to mine and kiss her soundly.

"There's really no option, I love you and I want to be with you too. As you said I'm not perfect either, I have my flaws too… I have my temper and this tendency to always underestimate you… sometimes I forget how strong you can be… I'm sorry for not telling you about the stalker, I'm sorry for yelling at you and for let my emotions get the best of me. But above all… I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you, and for pushing you to make decisions you shouldn't even had to consider… I'm sorry for my stupid mistakes and breaking us that morning."

She rests her head on my chest and I cocoon her there.

"So what do we do now?" I ask.

"I don't know… what do you want?" I kiss a small trail from her shoulder to her neck as she rests her back on my chest.

"You know it… I want us to be a family." I mumble against her skin and she turns her head to me.

"I want us to be a family too… you, you still want to move in?" She asks with hopeful eyes.

"If you'll let me there is nothing I want more." I say placing a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Alright, but in one condition… we are seeing Patricia." She says firmly.

"The counselor?"

"Yes… I think we need someone to be the rational one."

"I totally agree… we are both kind of fucked up." I chuckle without humor.

"And that's why we are perfect for each other."

I kiss her again.

Yes we are not perfect, but who it is? We are all kinds of fucked up but it's not surprising with everything we had deal with not only the last four years but all our lives as well, and at I least I had a normal childhood.

I feel as if the world has been lifted from my shoulders, I feel light and in peace… talking it all out… finally saying what had been in our heads and hearts made me see things with a new light.

After going through the rest of her paintings we stand up and we are about to leave the room until the covered canvas on the tripod catches my eye.

"What about that one?"

She turns around to see what I'm talking about.

"Oh, that one is not finished."

"Can I take a look?" I ask hopeful as I wanted to see every masterpiece she had done.

She shrugged.

I walk to the middle of the room and flip the covers revealing a small canvas with an abstract sketch on it.

"_Oh ok… ehmm I think it's time for me to go and pick my things up. I'm sorry you had to put them in storage … I'll go when I have a chance."_

"_It's alright… don't worry… ehmm I never went into your study by the way… I know it was your sacred place."_

"_I know you didn't. Thanks for that by the way."_

"_How did you know?"_

"_If you had gone, you'd have found out that I was pregnant."_

"_What?"_

"_Yeah… remember when I said painting was like writing a diary for me?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Well… you'd have known."_

"Oh." I whisper as my eyes scan the sketch of a naked pregnant woman with dark hair in front of me.

She laces her arm with mine and reclines her head on my shoulder as we both stare at the painting. My eyesight becomes blurry as tears flood my eyes again.

"I started it the same day I found out I was pregnant."

"The morning after your graduation."

"Yes, I got so excited and scared at the same time and I had this urge to paint, I started it but then I went looking for you, you were playing the piano…"

"And you said your vows." I whisper as the lately ever present tears fall down my cheeks.

"_I know, you are that amazing… sometimes it's hard to believe I got stuck with you… I'm so lucky."_

"_I'm the lucky one." I argued._

"_No, you are amazing, smart, gentle, generous, beautiful… and you make sure every day I feel pretty… sure of myself happy… loved. How many people get to be with someone like that? To experience something like what we have? Edward, you bring out the best of me… I've never been this happy and I know this kind of love happens just once in a life time. Sometimes I'm afraid that someday it would be too much and something or someone would keep you away from me. I know we've know each other for no more than a year but I am so used to you that I wouldn't know how to survive without you, you are my rock, and as cheesy as it sounds… you are my other half. I love you more than anything and I promise you too that no matter what, I'll never let my love for you die… no matter if it kills me I'll always love you."_

_What had brought this on? I don't know but her words brought so much joy to me that I grabbed her from her waist and sat her in front of me, making her straddle me on the bench and kissed her hard, deep… pouring all my love for her in that kiss. After a few minutes I broke the kiss and she gasped for air, we both needed it actually, I took a hold of her face and brought her forehead to mine._

"_Bella, I've never believed in soul mates… until I found you. You have my heart too pretty girl, and I promise you… you'll always have it, it's yours and I'll never take it away."_

"_You have mine too, I trust you with it… the only thing I ask is for you to take care of it, please don't break it… I wouldn't last without it. You should know, you are a doctor." She tried to joke between her tears._

"_I promise you, forever." I said and she grabbed my hand from her face kissed it and entwined our fingers, bringing both of our hands between us over her stomach._

* * *

><p>After Bella finally gave me her tour around the "Bella's Gallery" we went downstairs to have lunch as it was already past three in the afternoon. We had also called mom asking her if she could keep the kids for a couple more hours while Bella helped me pack a couple of cases.<p>

The winter break had already started and we decided to do what we had planned already, use these few weeks to reconnect and heal. After I packed what I needed and Bella grabbed a few things of hers we took my car and headed to my parent's house.

Emmett's jeep was in the driveway so I guessed he was visiting with Liam, making him feel comfortable with the family as the twins were there too. I opened the car door for Bella and helped her out. It was snowing so we carefully made our way to the front porch, trying not to slip on the ice. I used my key to let us in and once we were inside we heard voices coming from the kitchen so we headed there.

"Mom?" I said making ourselves known and mom turned from the stove and smiled as she saw me holding Bella's hand.

"Oh! Hi! Just in time." She said simply, but I could see the starts of a few tears on her eyes.

"MOM! DAD!" Marie jumped out of the stool and ran towards us.

"Time for what?" Bella asked catching her in her arms.

"Marie and I made cookies, I was about to take them out of the oven." Mom turned back to chop whatever she was chopping, probably to hide her emotions.

"Where's Andrew?" I asked kissing Marie's head.

"He's in the game room playing with Emmett and Liam." Mom said still facing away.

"Is that safe?" I asked, remembering the last time they had played there.

"I'll go and check on him." Bella said.

"I'll go with you."

"Daddy." Marie called me from Bella's arms and stretched her arms towards me, motioning me to carry her. When she was safely in my arms we turned around and made our way back to the hallway and headed to the game room.

We heard laughter half way and as we neared we heard Emmett's distinct voice making explosion sounds. Bella opened the door and we laughed at the ruckus going on.

Andrew was wearing my cap, sitting in the middle of the floor with his action figures in his hands with Liam next to him and Emmett on his other side. Liam had a few action figures too and I could see his shy smilr at Emmett's attempts to make them laugh. Rose watched them dreamily from the couch.

"Dad! Mommy!" Andrew yelled cheerily as soon as he saw us. He jumped to his feet before running to us and hugging our legs. I smiled at his true happiness at seeing us. "We-were you?!"

"Daddy and I took a small vacay." Bella said in her mommy's voice.

"Where?" Marie asked with curious eyes.

"We went to the north pole." I answered wiggling my eyebrows at her and both gasped.

"The north pole?" Andrew asked with big eyes.

"Yep."

"Why?" Marie asked curiously.

"Daddy and I have a surprise for you… we got a Christmas tree!" Bella smiled at them with bright happy eyes.

They both cheered and I didn't even try to hide my tears this time. My brain was fried and I was overwhelmed by having them with me again and to see them smile… god, I had my family again, what else could I ask for? My heart swelled at the idea of passing the holidays with them, cocooned in our warm home as the winter passed. Lazy Sundays, merry days and peaceful nights… this is what I needed, time with the woman I loved and our kids… away from the world and getting used to each other.

Now, if Tanya could just get fucking caught… everything would be perfect as that meant they would be finally safe.

"Did you see Santa?" Andrew halted my thoughts.

"Yes, he says hi." I smiled at him.

"But daddy why you go all the way to the North Pole for a tree? They have tons on the supermarket! Mommy and I saw them, right mommy?" Marie asked innocently.

I heard Emmett chuckle in the background.

"You met your match Einstein." He laughed.

"Because the ones at the north pole are prettier." I nuzzled her nose.

"Dad, you wanna play wiv me and Liam and uncs Em? I can let you be Superman."

"Sure buddy, just give me a sec Ok?" I said putting Marie on the floor. From the corner of my eye I saw Liam stand up a go to Rose.

"Uhhm Rosily?" He asked timidly, he had yet to feel comfortable calling her mom or dad to Emmett and was still afraid of strangers.

"Yes sweetie?" Rose smiled tenderly at him caressing her hair. I had to admit she played the mother role perfectly.

"Uhm…" he stammered nervously and I saw Emmett watching them closely. "Who's Santa?"

…

…

…

Damn.

Andrew was about to make some comment but Bella covered his mouth, probably guessing he would say something inappropriate.

"Santa is this old man in a red suit, who brings presents to all the good kids in the world on Christmas… you know what Christmas is?" Rose asked sweetly.

He shook his head and Rosalie pulled him onto her lap.

"Christmas is this big holiday for families to get together and be happy, they give presents to their loved ones and show how much they care and love about each other." She explained.

"Oh." Liam frowned.

"Yes, and I talked to him and he said you were a very good boy this year… so you should expect tons of present." I continued sitting on the other side of the couch next to Rosalie and she smiled at me.

"I was?" He asked unsure.

"Yes, he says so." I assured him with a wink.

"Was I a bad boy before?" I could see his eyes water, probably reliving some bad memories.

"No, he says he didn't know where you lived so he couldn't bring you presents before."

"Oh."

Poor Liam, he had had a rough life in his short five years. You could see all the pain and fear behind his big blue eyes. His father was abusive and his mother was a drunk, she died about a year ago from DUI and he was taken from his father when he beat him so hard he was taken to the hospital when a neighbor heard his cries.

When Liam was satisfied with his answers Rosalie kissed his head and he went to sit back with Emmett on the floor. I think his huge figure and demeanor made him feel safe somehow. Then Marie jumped onto my lap and Bella said she wanted to use the bathroom.

"I'll be right back." She said kissing me.

"Hurry." I kissed her back.

Then the room fell silent until Andrew broke it resuming their previous game.

I kissed Rose's cheek.

"Thank you." I said, referring for all she had done for me not only about taking Bella to my house but also for talking to her that time. She was difficult, but she was also a loyal sister and supported me in her own way.

"Don't know what you are talking about." She said, as always avoiding emotional stuff but I saw the beginnings of a smile on her lips.

"Daddy" Marie caught my attention "You kiss mommy?" She inquired referring to the kiss Bella and I just shared.

I smiled warmly at her, knowing where this was going.

"Yes honey, I kissed mommy."

"Does that mean you and mommy love each other again?"

"I never stopped loving mommy… it's just that sometimes mommy and I fight, like when you and Andrew do but that doesn't mean you don't love him, right?" I brushed her hair away from her face and she shook her head.

"Well, it's the same."

"Oh… and… uhm…" She hesitated "You boyfrwend and girlfrwend again?"

"Yes, mommy and I are boyfriend and girlfriend again." I sighed happily.

" And… you living wiv us now?" She asked hopefully.

"Why? You don't want me to?"

She gasped mortified and I chuckled.

"I DO!"

I blew a raspberry on her cheeks.

"Good, because I am living with you now." I said my eyes watering again as I buried my face on her hair.

Jezus, I'm a mess.

"Liam, I'm sure nanas cookies are done do you want some?" Rosalie asked, probably trying to get them all leave the room and give us some privacy.

"Can I?" Liam asked with hopeful eyes.

"Of course, come with me. Emmett?" He nodded and the Cullen-Hales left the room.

Marie reclined her head on my chest and I held her tight, then Andrew came and sat next to me. Bella came into the room and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the scene playing. She smiled sadly and came to sit with us getting into our embrace.

"Time to go home." She said softly.

* * *

><p>Before heading home we stopped at Mamma's Pizza to pick up Italian for dinner, all the way the kids wouldn't stop talking about what they were going to draw on Santa's letter and I happily listen to them, with Bella's hand twined with mine on my lap. I couldn't stop smiling and neither would she. When we finally made it home, Bella hurried them into the house because of the snow and I untied the tree from the rooftop of the car before dragging it inside. Marie and Andrew kept jumping and cheering excitedly around me as I straightened it up on a corner on the living room and as I shook out the snow suddenly we heard carols on the surround system and that only multiplied their joy a tenfold as "Jingle Bells" blaster through the speakers.<p>

"It's so tall!" Andrew cheered.

"And pretty!" Marie added "Santa is going to like it so much!"

I took a step back and made a show of watching the tree.

"It is pretty I guess that means Santa is going to be good this year with you." I smiled at them.

"Edward, can you help me bring up the decoration boxes while I untangle the lights, please?" Bella said entering the living room carrying a large box which I took from her "they're in the basement."

"Sure." I said as I put the box on the floor. "I'll be right back." I kissed her temple and stayed there a second or too taking in her scent, I felt her do the same on my chest.

Once I brought up all the boxes, Bella and I started with the twinkle lights as the kids munched on their spaghetti. Then between the four of us we started decorating the tree, the kids worked on the lower part, Bella in the middle and I was in charge of the top. Then an idea came to mind and I sat a giggling Marie on my shoulders and she helped me hang ornaments on the top too.

"This is so fun!" She cheered while bouncing on my shoulders as she hanged a golden sphere while "Santa is coming to town" started playing.

"Just be careful sweetie." Bella smiled at her before she turned around and started placing the rest of the decorations around the room. "Who wants some hotchoco?"

"ME!" Both yelled and I was overwhelmed again with so much happiness.

"With mashmewos!" Andrew added.

"What about you pretty boy?" She turned to me and I nodded not being able to talk for fear of my voice breaking.

Her eyes watered and she stood on her toes to kiss my cheek before going into the kitchen.

"Dad, would you help draw my letter?" Andrew asked smiling at me.

"Of course kiddo."

I took Marie from my shoulders and set her back on the floor. Then Andrew produced his crayons from his school backpack and Marie ran upstairs for her coloring box. We all sat around the coffee table and white sheets, crayons, glitter and stickers were spread in the centre. I helped them color their gifts and listened carefully to what they were asking for -their drawings weren't really accurate but I'm sure Bella would be able to understand them better than me- as the smell of chocolate and something sweet floated through the house.

A few minutes later Bella came into the living room wearing sweats, one of my shirts she must have pulled out of one of my cases, while holding a tray with four mugs of hot chocolate and a plate with a small pile of homemade cookies. She gave us all a mug and then I felt her sit next to me, but I wasn't having that. I pulled her between my legs and I rested my chin on her shoulder, circling her waist with my arms. Every few minutes I would bury my face in her neck or I would whisper things against her ear, I needed her closeness and by the looks of it she needed mine as well while the kids drew their letters and chattered happily.

"I love you." I kissed the spot behind her ear she took my hand and kissed it in response.

This moment right here was what I had been fighting for. From the moment I saw them at the park, this was the second chance I was looking for. The chance to have a family, the chance to have the persons I love the most with me, together enjoying simple things as cookies and sweets. I've been alone for so long to understand that this small moments are what makes our lives worthwhile, the moments that no matter how small they are, are enough to bring peace to your soul. The moments that you have savor and cherish, the moments that when life gets rough, you have them saved at the back of your mind to give you strength.

As I see the smiles on their faces and hear their laugher while the draw, joke or play with Sam, I know everything we had been through has been worth it. I know we could have saved us a lot of pain and angst if we hadn't been stupid or immature, but no one is perfect. We are bound to make mistakes, and it takes a lot of strength to forgive and forget. But that's how we mature and get wise, by learning and acceptance. I can't change what happened and neither can her, but life goes on and we must move on with it.

So now I sit back and enjoy this, forgetting what's worrying me outside this house and taking in the moment as Michael Bublé sings "All I want for Christmas is you" on the background.

Remember when I said I wanted to create new, happy memories?

Well, this one right here was the first one of hopefully many more to come.

* * *

><p><strong>PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!<strong>

**By the way I loved all your ideas of how to end Tanya! Keep em coming!**

**I'll try to post soon again!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	34. Chapter 34: Pain

**Hi guys! Here is chapter 34!**

**Thank you sooooo much again for your reviews and you response for this story, I'm still amazed.**

**A few had asked if the rape issue would be addressed, it will. Don't worry about it.**

**I also started a new story, I just posted chapter 2 if you wanna check that out ;)**

**Special thanks to my beta Cattinson and my pre-reader Lisopera, without them this story wouldn't be what it is =))**

**SM own everything!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 34: Pain<p>

"**Pain" – This Beautiful Republic**

We are here together,  
>It's been so long<br>I've waited forever,  
>For this day to come<br>And I won't leave you  
>Alone tonight<br>You're my heart  
>Moving life inside<p>

We won't fall again,  
>If you will let me lead<br>We'll fall in love,  
>If you will hold to me<br>Never let go,endure the pain to find no pain at all

"You happy daddy?" Marie asks with innocent eyes and I frown.

"I'm the happiest daddy on earth sweetie, why do you ask?" I say as I tuck her in and sit on the edge of her bed.

She shrugs.

"You were crying before."

Oh.

"You know princess, sometimes people cry out of happiness too…"

"So you not sad?"

"Honey, I couldn't be happier… I have you, your brother and mommy." I kiss her nose.

"Promise?" She asks hugging my old teddy bear with big hopeful eyes.

"I swear… now, go to sleep." I kiss her cheek "Tomorrow is your Christmas' play and you need to rest."

"I'm nervous." She confesses.

"Of what?" I ask caressing her hair.

"What if I trip and everyone laughs at me?"

"If you trip, -which you won't- you are still going to be the most beautiful Holy Mary ever. So don't worry about it, you are going to be fine princess and Mommy and I'll be there Ok?"

She nods.

"Thank you daddy, I love you."

"I love you more pretty little girl… sweet dreams." And with a final kiss I turn off all the lights but her mini-light and leave her room.

With a content sigh I go downstairs and help Bella with the mess we made as the evening progressed. She had just got out of her shower and while she was doing the dishes I take the trash out and take Sam with me so he can take a leak. I spot the cops in each corner of the street and I instantly feel even better when they acknowledge me.

They are safe.

I wait until Sam is finished and go back into the house.

"You need anything else?" I ask as I reenter the house and free Sam from his leash, he instantly goes to lay to his spot on the living room next to the chimney.

"No, are the kids asleep?" She asks coming out of the kitchen while drying her hands with a towel.

"Yes."

"Do you want to sit for a while in front of the fire?" She suggests with a smile and I step closer to her.

"Sure, just let me go change…" I kiss the corner of her mouth "I'll be back in a minute."

"Ok." She kisses me back.

I run upstairs, -excited about a peaceful and quiet evening with her- today had been a very good day. Sure, I'm emotionally drained and exhausted but I'm also at peace with myself and everything else. Our long talk in the morning created that, I feel stronger and lighter and… just content. Like as if the roads had been cleared and we are finally able to move forward.

I strip in our bathroom and take a quick shower getting ready for the night, when I'm done I put my sweats and a sweatshirt on, brush my teeth and check one last time on the kids. Sam is at the door by Marie's room and I let him in and watch him climb onto her bed next to her before going back down stairs, quietly closing the door to the second floor.

I walk into the living room and recline on the doorframe as I watch Bella sitting on the living room floor in front of the coffee table, the only source of light the blasting fire in front of her -illuminating her beautiful features- and the twinkle lights on the Christmas tree on the other side of the room. She sips on a glass of wine while Michael Bublé's "Home" comes through the speakers and I'm mesmerized by the scene.

She feels my presence and turns to me with a shy smile.

"You are so beautiful." I tell her.

She blushes.

"Thanks, I opened a bottle of wine I hope you don't mind… do you work too early tomorrow?"

I shake my head as I walk further into the room and sit next to her, taking the other glass on the coffee table and taking a sip.

"I'm taking a couple of days off."

"You are?" She asks a little surprised.

"I am." I nod placing the glass back on the coffee table and wrapping my left arm around her shoulders "The kids play is tomorrow and I have more important stuff to deal with here." I say kissing her lips. "You and the kids come first, and if there is an emergency Heidi can always call me."

"Thank you." She snuggles on my side and I pull her legs over my lap.

…

…

…

"This is nice." I say caressing her arm, she turns her head and kisses my chest.

"I know… I love you."

"Me too, what were you doing?" I ask eyeing the kids' letters on the coffee table.

"I was trying to decipher them…" She takes the letters again and reclines her head on my shoulder "You remember what this was?" She points at a red thing on Andrew's letter.

"Mm… I think that's a tricycle?"

"Oh yes, he has been asking for that since last Christmas."

I take the letter from her hands and she drinks from her wine.

"I'm not sure about getting him a video console… he's too young and I don't want him spending endless hours in front of the TV" I say as I mindlessly caress her hair with my left hand.

"Yes, me neither… they do need new clothes by the way although I don't think that would be as exciting. Andrew's pants look more like capris." She chuckles.

"Yes, I noticed it today." I smile at the memory.

"Thankfully he'll get your height… Marie can always wear heels if she cares." She says lightly.

I frown at the idea of Marie growing up and being old enough to wear heels. She's my princess, she's marrying daddy.

She said so.

"Is it wrong of me if I don't want them to grow up?" I look down at her.

She smiles sadly at me.

"No its not, but you'll get used to the idea."

"It's just… I just got them… it's hard to come to terms with such a thing, letting go of them in a few years. I mean, they'll be four in a few weeks…"

"I-I'm sorry… I know it's my fault you have less time with them."

Dammit.

"Oh, no I'm not saying it to make you feel bad, I'm sure I'll be feeling the same if the situation was different. It's just that, I love them so much it hurts to know their lives don't belong to me… one day they'll continue with their own."

"That's life Edward, we can't change that." She shifts a little on my lap to see me better.

"I know… I'm sorry I'm being all broody…"

"It's Ok." She gives me a small smile "Anyway," she clears her tears "help me write their gift list."

"Can't we do that later? I wanted to spend time with you."

"What do you have in mind?" She says with a twinkle in her eyes.

I take her chin and tilt her face up kissing her, she responds immediately and soon – I don't remember how we got there - we are on our sides on the narrow couch on a heated make out session. My hand wanders along her back under my shirt that she's still wearing, and I press my body flush against hers as she opens her mouth to me.

"You brushed your teeth." She smiles against the kiss "Where you expecting to get lucky?"

"Am I?" I ask as I hitch her leg over my hip and she lets out a soft moan when I press my cock harder against her.

"Ugh… Edward…"

I roll us over so she's under me and I start devouring her long delicious neck. We fool around for a bit, and it's when I'm trying to take off her shirt when she stops me.

"Edward… I'm sorry… but we have to stop." She breathes shakily.

"Why?" I stop what I'm doing to look at her with a small pout, but frown when I see the worry in her eyes. "What's up… are you still sore?" I ask, remembering how she had walked funny all morning after last night.

"Please don't be mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" I ask turning us back to our sides and ignoring my throbbing cock that is still pulsing and ready to come out to play.

"I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression but… we can't jump into that again… not yet anyway… I… I'm sorry I didn't say anything last night, but I was so overwhelmed and then I saw you…" She caresses my face and I take her hand to kiss it.

"Just tell me Bella."

"When… when we were apart, after thanksgiving… I forgot taking the pill the next day because of everything that was going through my head, so I stopped altogether… I thought we were over so I didn't bother continuing… I'm sorry I didn't tell you last night before we uhmm… you kn-"

I silence her with a kiss to take her out of her stress.

"Don't worry about it, I didn't think about protection either until now… so." I shrug. "We are Ok, it's also my responsibility." I kiss her again. "When is your next period?"

"On the six so we are safe, but I still don't want to risk it so unless you have condoms with you… we better stop."

"Sorry sweetheart… I don't. I actually can't remember for the life of me the last time I bought one… before you left you were on the pill too remember?" She nods "By the way, what happened there, did you forget to take it too?"

"I don't remember… but if I didn't you must have a super sperm to knock me up squared." She teases and I kiss her nose. "Anyway, I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression with this." She gestures around.

"Nonsense, I'm equally happy to just be with you and I wasn't expecting anything. The later was just a plus." I adjust myself on the couch so we are in a more comfortable position, with her tucked under my left arm.

"Can we talk then?"

"20 questions again?" I smile at her as I kiss her eye.

She nods.

"Shoot." I say.

"Who was your first?" She asks cheekily and I guffaw.

"Lucy Stephens."

"Your homecoming date?"

"Yep."

"How old were you?" She asked as she lightly traced her fingers over my chest.

"Fifteen." I say a little embarrassed and her eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

"Was she your girlfriend?" She asks curiously.

"Not at the time… but, you know… now that I think about it… I think Andrew and I lost our virginities on the same night. Crazy."

Yes, if memory doesn't fail me… homecoming had been on September. Andrew had his fight with Tanya in November but Tanya must have aborted the baby before… and Tanya had been his date, and it was after the dance that the two of them started hanging around more and more, also around that time he had started dating Emma… but broke up because she was jealous of Tanya.

God, my brother was a naughty teenager.

"Who was your first boyfriend?" I ask then.

She snorts.

"I never dated in high school, when I got here I just when out on the occasional date. Never anything too serious, you know this."

"Well, who was your first kiss then?" I chuckle.

She ducks her head and hides her face on my chest.

"Bella?" I shake her shoulder.

…

…

…

"Bella?"

…

…

…

Oh.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I laugh out loud after the initial shock passed.

"Shut up!" She groans pulling out of me, turning around a burying her blushed face against the back of the couch.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I ask amused as I pull myself up with my elbow trying to see her face.

"I didn't want you to think I was pathetic, I was twenty-two for fucks sake!" She mumbles but I see the trace of a smile on her lips.

I turn her around and kiss her all over her face.

"Well, if you must know" I kiss her eyes "I didn't even notice" then her jaw "and why would I think you were pathetic?"

"The reason behind it." She pulls at the strings on the hood of my sweatshirt.

"Which was?" I inquired trying to look into her eyes but she avoids my gaze.

"It's stupid… childish, but remember when I told you I grew up watching Disney movies? To get away from Charlie's bickering?"

"Yes." I pull away to see her face properly.

"Well, I kinda had this silly perfect first kiss idea… that I would know… _feel _it when it was right, like in the fairy tales with the right person in the right moment. I didn't feel it with any of the guys I dated… and then you came."

"But… _you_ kissed me first." I ask softly, the enormity of this finally sinking in.

"You happened to be the right person in the right moment."

How did I end up with someone like her was beyond me. How someone with her past and with the way her parent's divorce had affected her could have so much hope and faith into a better future? If my parents had divorced the way hers did and if I had heard my own mother's hate towards me the very same night I don't know how I could have kept my head up and trust someone like she trusted me with her heart. She gave me her first kiss, something she had cherished and saved for years… she gave it to me. She had really believed in true love, her words that morning took so much meaning… I suddenly felt so unworthy of her.

"_Edward, why did you do it?!" She said harshly in a mix of anger and pain._

_Like the fucking moron I am, I just stared at her._

_I didn't have an answer._

_With a quiet voice, she started talking again._

"_Renee __**cheated**__ on my dad" she said the last with gritted teeth, I flinched "she left us, I had a hard time growing up, we didn't have any money, I worked since I was twelve, saving for college and looking after my father who was broken beyond repair because of what she did."_

_She took a moment to take a deep breath._

"_And still… after growing up in a shattered home, hearing my dad curse to love almost __**every day**__ and me struggling between school and work so I could get out of there, I had hope… I had faith that someday I will find a man that would prove him wrong. A man, who would love me unconditionally and irrevocably. A man, who I could give myself to without hesitation. A man I trusted with my own life…"_

_I looked down, my head was spinning fast, this couldn't be happening._

_What did I do?_

"_You knew this… you knew my fears, my worries, my dreams and my hopes. I trusted you with them, and you just took them and threw them out of the window… I honestly thought you'd be the last man on earth… to ever hurt me like that…" She sobbed._

"If more people were like you… as innocent, hopeful, pure… and good… the world would be a better place."

"You think too highly of me… I don't think I'm a good person, I'm selfish."

"Who isn't?" I shrug.

"You are not."

"Yes I am… I want you only for myself, hence my jealousy over Newton and a moment ago I couldn't even think about the kids growing up and moving on without us. On Thanksgiving my outburst was selfish too, I spoke for myself and only thought of what was hurting me and didn't think about what Tanya's presence and words were doing to you."

"Well, but still… I'm not a saint." She shrugs.

"No one is a saint."

She scoffs.

…

…

…

"Can I ask you something?" She asks thoughtful after a moment, shifting a little between my arms.

"Anything." I caress her cheek with the back of my fingers.

"You have known Tanya since forever… you knew she was an addict, why did you date her in the first place?"

"I've asked myself that a lot… and I still don't know. I was lonely I guess, and she had been my brother's best friend… I don't know, probably I wanted a connection with him?" I shrugged "I sincerely don't know what was going through my head."

"You told me she tried to pass her baby as yours… how did you find out the truth?"

"I'm a doctor, I read the symptoms… and from wearing skimpy clothes she suddenly started wearing loose clothes, she must had been three months when I figured it out. She had been trying to have sex with me desperately, so that's how I realized what her plan was. I can't believe I missed your symptoms by the way… it was strange you sudden addictions for Pop-Tarts but other than that nothing."

She shrugs.

"I was only two months when I left… and the few symptoms I had I tried to hide them from you."

"Still, I should have noticed someway… I noticed Tanya's so easily."

She shrugs again.

"Who was the father?" She asks then.

"I don't know."

She seems to think for a moment.

…

…

…

"What are you thinking?" I ask brushing away a few strands of hair that fell across her face.

"I'm trying to understand… why would she try to run you over? Did she think you were Andrew too then? Or was that afterwards? If she did, then why would she try to kill you?"

"I have no idea she never made much sense to me." I bury my face on the crook of her neck. "You smell delicious by the way… you changed your body wash?"

She laughs.

"No, I ran out of mine so I had to use Marie's strawberry and bubble gum one."

I join her laughs.

"Is there something else you want to know?" I ask while I nibble at her neck.

"What was your first thought when you saw them?"

"Green." I answer honestly, still sucking her neck.

"Green?"

"Yes," I pull away to look into her eyes "the first thing I noticed was their eyes… they are Esme's colour."

"Yours as well."

I nod.

"I thought I was still dreaming, I had taken a pill the night before so I thought I was probably still sleeping, they were too beautiful and wonderful to be true."

"You took a pill?" She asks and I feel her back go rigid and fear flashed on her eyes.

"A sleeping pill." I clarified.

"Why?" She relaxes a little "Were you having trouble sleeping?" Her voice was full of concern.

Should I tell her the truth?

I guess I have to.

"No, well yes… you see, everyone was telling me to move on, I didn't want to and I had just _learned _you apparently moved on… that you had a kid. I wanted to be out for a few hours… without waking up with nightmares in the middle of the night… I was tired, I wanted to rest."

"You had nightmares? About what?" She asks blinking away her tears.

"Sometimes they were nightmares, sometimes they were dreams… I don't know which ones hurt more… they were all about you." Her eyes water letting a few tears fall and I kiss her eyes to tell her it's Ok "Sometimes I would have a nightmare about that morning and other times I would dream about you only to wake up and realize you were gone."

"Oh pretty boy… I'm so sorry."

"Can I ask you something now?" I intertwine my hand with hers.

"Yes."

"That morning my mind was in chaos… if I had sorted my thoughts out, if I had explained myself better instead of keeping quiet with my mouth hanging open like an idiot when you asked why I had done what I did… would your choice have been different?"

…

…

"I don't know, I'd like to think I would have stayed… but I don't know how things would have worked for us. Everything would have been so recent…" Her thumb traces the scars on my knuckles "I don't know if that would have pulled us apart in the end, not having the time apart to think, maybe the anger would have overpowered reason and we wouldn't be here now, but who knows?"

"Who knows." I concede.

Yes, who knows… it's no use to think of what ifs. What happened happened, and we must deal with it. Learn, stand up and move on.

I take her chin and pull her face upwards, needing to see her eyes and place my palm on her cheek, my thumb tracing the shadow under her eye.

"The other day, when Marie pulled her stunt… you said it was over… what changed your mind? Was it just my house?"

"It was a lot of things… but seeing my stuff triggered something within me for sure… it made open my eyes and… I understood a lot of things then."

Her hold on me tightens and I feel her cold feet on my shins, so I pull the afghan from the back of the couch over us and wrap ourselves in our own cocoon.

"Like what?" I whisper.

"When I was gone I thought you didn't want me… then when I came to Ottawa and you confessed you still loved me I thought you were just guilty and wanted to make amends… it's in your nature to blame yourself for everything and I thought that was the case… I thought the only reason you wanted to be with me was because of the kids because I could tell you really loved them."

"What happened next?"

"Rosalie, when she came the first time… she told me a lot of things that made me think about us and about your actions, not only from the past but from now too."

"My actions?" I frown.

"Yes, she told me about you watching over us at night those first weeks, then I remembered what you told Lauren that time I visited you, things you would say now and then… and the flowers in the garden. Thank you for those by the way."

I kissed her forehead and she continued.

"I started noticing a few things about the way you acted around me that didn't make sense with the opinion I had of you. That's why I decided to try and give you a chance the first time. I took the risk and things were going so well, I was starting to believe that this could work out between us and that you weren't in this just for the kids' sake… but then Thanksgiving happened."

She pauses and takes a breath, gathering herself up for continuing.

"I had thought you never really forgave me, and that in the end we were together just because of the kids and because we were lonely and broken, that it was all useless and I didn't want to suffer anymore, I told you I'm a selfish person I had suffered a lot and I didn't want to suffer anymore, much less the kids to feel it too so I ran away again."

She buries her face in my chest inhaling me as if needing the contact and I hold her tight against me. Then she looks back at me with fresh tears in her eyes.

"Then Rosalie took me to your house…" She said in a broken whisper "and I realized you had suffered as much as I did… and it all clicked. I knew then that I couldn't part from you anymore because the hold you have for me is as strong as the hold I have of you."

"You know you own me." I tell her with a shaky voice and she nods.

"You own me too, that's why we suffer more when we are apart than when we are together, even if we are fighting. It hurts to be with you because of everything we've been through… but being away is worse, and running away will never erase anything, if only it would make me think more of what went wrong, rehashing old scars and tearing us apart."

"I'm glad you think that way… I know talking about what went wrong is painful, but every time we do, I feel lighter… it's cleansing."

"I know, it's hard and so painful to go back in my mind so I can explain myself to you but so worthy afterwards… it's liberating in so many ways."

I kiss her lips softly, and her cold hands disappear under my sweatshirt as she presses them on my bare stomach, warming herself with my heat. The action makes me shiver because of her cold skin against my warm body and she wraps her arms around my torso. It's freezing outside and even the heater and the fire can't do much about it, especially with someone as chilly as her so I wrap my arms tighter around her, creating some friction with my hands on her back.

Again we get lost in our moment and soon I find myself hovering over her again. Her lips feel amazingly warm and sweet, and her soft tongue dances slowly against mine. She's such a great kisser I find it hard to believe I am the only man she has ever kissed.

My heartbeat is frantic and as always I want more. Junior is begging to come out of my pants and I'm positive she can feel it pushing against her core over her sweat pants. She moans when I push my hips forward, sending shivers down my spine as my hands glide all over the soft flesh of her body.

"Dammit." I groan "I want you so much."

"At what time does Shoppers close?" She asks still kissing me.

"I don't know, but no matter how much I want you I'm not leaving you and the kids alone. I don't trust those cops she has already been evading them for weeks." I sigh, stopping my movements and resting my forehead on her shoulder. I feel her fingers run through my hair. "Mmhmm…" I moan as I lay half atop of her.

…

…

…

"You think they'll catch her?" She asks in a small voice and I turn us to our sides, wrapping my arms around her instinctively, bringing her close to me in a protective manner.

"I hope so, but in any case… I'm not letting you out of my sight. I'm seriously considering a bodyguard for you and the kids."

"Its winter break, the kids won't be going to school until mid January and because of the weather we won't be going out much and the cops are still watching over the house, I don't think it's necessary."

"I'll think about it." I kiss her forehead and she rolls her eyes at me so I kiss her swollen lips.

…

…

…

"By the way… I'm considering quitting my job." She adds suddenly.

That wasn't something I expected to hear.

"Why?" I ask in utter surprise pulling away to see her face clearly, but then I glare when a thought comes to my mind "Has Newton tried something at you?"

"No, but he's been in a bad mood lately, probably because of what happened at dinner and he's taking it out on me and I'm not having it."

"But you love your job can't you talk to human resources or something?"

"I like my job, but not enough to go through all of that, besides I prefer something more active, I prefer writing than editing someone else's writing. I don't know something in a magazine… maybe journalism? I'll probably wait until after the break anyway."

"What about your book?" I suggest.

"My book?"

"Yes, I recall you telling me once not long ago that your dream was to write a best seller… why don't you take time off and work on that?"

"I don't know… it's a scary thought." She says doubtful.

"Think about it, I'll support you in any decision you make and you know you don't have to worry about money so take your time… you can do anything you want."

"Thank you, that means a lot… but I'm not quitting until I have something else. I don't need to be unemployed to write a book."

"As I said, I'll support you in any decision you make."

"You are amazing, thank you." She kisses me before covering her mouth with her hand to stiffen a yawn.

"Time for bed?" I trail little kisses along her cheek.

"Yes please… god I'm exhausted." She closes her eyes and rests he head on my shoulder.

"I'm not surprised… the last days had been a roller coaster of emotions."

"Mhmm…" She agrees sleepily "pretty boy, I'm really glad you are here. I missed you."

I breathe her in.

"I missed you too."

"C'mon, let's go to our room."

* * *

><p>The auditorium is filled with people parents, grandfathers, uncles and friends. My family and I are seated in the sixth and seventh row the seat next to me is empty as I wait for Bella to come from backstage where she went to check on the kids.<p>

Emmett is bouncing in his seat, so excited -like a little kid on Christmas- you'd think it was his favorite band about to go on stage instead of a bunch of children, but I know better. He's has a camera ready and a program with Andrew's performances circled in red.

I roll my eyes at him.

If only he knew.

Liam sits on mom's lap, staring everywhere with wide eyes and asking questions every now and then about dwarfs and reindeers while Rosalie has gone to fetch him some hot cocoa.

"Look Liam! There's Santa!" Emmett says pointing at the guy dressed as Santa that just entered the room. Liam's mouth formed a tiny O in surprise.

"That's Santa?"

"Yes, you wanna go say hi to him?" Emmett smiles at him.

"Can I?" He asks with wide eyes.

"Sure, c'mon big guy… let's go find Rosalie." Emmett takes Liam from mom and sits him on his shoulders making him giggle. I see a tear fall from mom's cheek as they walk out of the row.

"He's so wonderful." Mom whispers. "How can someone ever mistreat a child, especially a child like him?"

"There are so many crazy and heartless people in this world." I answer thoughtfully.

"How are things going between you and Bella?" Mom asks then and I smile at her.

"We are fine, we are getting there."

"I'm so happy for you… I really am, and I'm sorry for not listening to you about Thanksgiving… I should have put your wishes first."

"It's Ok mom… I'm not mad at you it wasn't your fault." I kiss her cheek.

"Still, for what is worth it… I'm sorry."

"It's Ok." I throw my arm around her to give her a sideways hug. Then look around for any signs of Bella, she has been gone for a while.

Minutes later, Emmett, Rosalie and an ecstatic Liam return to their seats. Liam is holding a cup with hot cocoa in one hand and a Polaroid picture in the other.

"I met Santa!" He tells mom excitedly.

"Wow, that's awesome sweetie. Did you tell him what you want for Christmas?"

He nods frantically.

"What did you ask for?" Alice asks cheerily from the road behind us.

"A green bike!" He tells her still smiling but his smile falls a little when he spots Jasper "He says I was good so he's giving it to me."

"Do you know how to ride a bike?" I ask getting his attention and he shakes his head.

"No, but MEmmett says he can teach me." He says pointing towards my smiling brother. "Right MEmmett?" He asks a bit insecure.

"Of course I will. Every kid needs to learn how to ride a bike." He assures him.

"Andrew asked for a tricycle." I tell him "Maybe the two of you can ride together." I offer.

He nods again.

"_Ladies and gentleman, please take your seats… the show is about to start." _The principal says from the middle of the stage with a microphone and the buzz around the room stops.

"How long ago did Bella leave?" I ask looking around with an uneasy feeling settling on the pit of my stomach.

"About fifteen minutes." Dad answers and I take out my phone, but as soon as I press dial her phone vibrates on her purse on the seat next to me.

"I'll go look for her."

"You want me to go with you?" Emmett asks, noticing my unease and I shake my head.

"No, it's fine." I say as the lights are dimmed, the curtain opens and a little kid in an Angel costume takes the stage. "Excuse me…" I say as I walk out of the row and take the hallway, but just when I'm about to reach the door Bella walks in.

"Bella!" I sigh in relief "Where were you? You scared me." I say hugging her.

"Sorry, Marie was nervous so I stayed until now to make sure she would be alright. C'mon, let's go back to our seats. You have the camera ready?" She smiles at me taking my hand.

"Yes, I have it on a tripod next to Emmett's." I chuckle.

What Emmett doesn't know is that I already gave Andrew a few pictures of a ten year old Emmett dressed as angel Gabriel with a white_ dress _and playing with Alice's tea set.

Yeah, no one is making fun of _my_ kid.

"What's with the smile?" She asks as we walk hand in hand back to our seats.

"Nothing." I kiss her temple.

Ten minutes later, a sulking Andrew dressed as a sheep comes into the stage with another group of animals singing jingle bells, its quiet hilarious and I try hard not to laugh. When a new song starts Marie walks out with another kid dressed as Joseph, she waves at us from the stage and I blow her a kiss as Bella gives her the thumbs up.

An hour later, after the village people helped the angels bring down the devil. The whole cast comes out to sing silent night around Marie –holding a doll as Jesus- and the kid dressed as Joseph. Then as a final act everyone sings "Deck the halls". The crowd full of pride parents breaks into a standing ovation and cheers while each kid waves at their own families and loved ones. It's a wonderful sight, even Andrew is not sulking anymore and is waving at us frantically, and my heart is racing so hard and about to combust at the utter pride and love I feel, my cheeks burn from smiling so much.

Then the curtain closes and Bella and I go around the Auditorium to pick them up backstage. It's crowded and there is a long line of parents waiting for their kids, so it takes a while before they are released to us.

"You liked it daddy?!" Marie jumps into my arms as soon as their teacher releases them to us.

"Yes, you were so wonderful." I blow a raspberry on her cheek "You too kiddo." I rub Andrew's head as Bella picks him up. "I'm so proud of you." I kiss his head.

"Did you see when me and Betty sang together? She was a chicken!" He asks as we walk back into the hallway.

"I did." I chuckled "She is pretty." I wiggle my eyebrows at him and to my amusement he blushes. Then we spot Emmett, Rosalie and Liam walking towards us.

"Liam! Did you like our play?" Marie asks her new cousin who is on Emmett's shoulders, still clutching his photo with Santa while we walk together back to the lobby of the auditorium.

He nods excitedly.

"I met Santa." He adds.

Andrew and Marie gasp.

"Where is he?!" They both ask looking around frantically and we laugh out loud.

"He left already, but we can go to the mall tomorrow and look for him." Bella suggests "You don't have kinder anymore so we can go whenever you want."

"YEI!" Both cheer as we enter the crowded lobby, as soon as mom and dad see us they approach us hurriedly.

"Congratulations sweeties" Mom gushes "Oh, you sing so beautiful!" She kisses both.

"Thanks nana." Andrew stretches his arms to her and mom carries him gladly. "Pops did you see me?! Me was the sheep!"

Dad chuckles.

"I did, both of you were amazing!" He says handing them each –including Liam- a small bag of chocolates.

"Thanks pops." Marie lifts her chin and puckers her lips to kiss him on the cheek.

"Andrew, don't eat that yet. Dinner first." Bella says when Andrew is about to rip the package open making him pout. "Not gonna work honey, it's getting old." Bella kisses him playfully. "Where are Alice and Jasper by the way?" She asks looking around for them.

"Candy shop." Rosalie answers with a knowing look.

Alice.

* * *

><p>When Alice and Jasper return from the candy shop a few minutes later, we talk for a little bit and my parents invite us all for dinner, but Bella and I decline as we already had plans with the kids. We had thought first about taking them to the Eaton Square, dine somewhere around the area and window shop a bit but because of Tanya still on the loose we didn't want to risk the kids. So instead we decided to go to the grocery store and buy everything we needed for a special dinner.<p>

So that's how now I found myself parking near the entrance at Loblaws. I turn off the car, step out of the driver's seat and help Bella unbuckle the kids. We carry them inside and I take a double kids' cart and sit them there as we take off our heavy coats and put them inside the cart box.

"Do not get out from the cart, understood?" I say as I push them into the store.

"Can I have Cheetos?" Andrew ignores me playing with the steering wheel in front of him.

"Andrew, did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, can I have Cheetos?" He asks again with puppy eyes and I groaned looking at Bella for help.

She fucking giggled.

"As long as you don't get out of the cart." I bargained.

"Can I have ice cream then?" Marie asks then with a too innocent smile.

"It's too cold I don't want you to get sick."

"But daaddy!" She wines as her chin quivered. "I love ice cream…"

I sigh I can't stand that sad face.

"What flavor?" I ask.

"Chocolate."

"Alright."

Marie and Andrew high five each other.

What?

Aren't they like… four?

Smart little people.

"You'll learn soon." Bella pats my arm.

I shake my head.

As we traveled through the aisles, the kids started asking for sweets, candies and what not, and every time I told them no they would guilty me on it, begging, crying, pouts, quivering chins, tears and all.

"Daddy! We need this!" Andrew said holding up a bag of M&M's.

"Daddy! Can I have this?!" Marie almost threw a box of gummy bears in my face.

"Oh my god this!"

"Daddy?"

"Plase?"

"I love you! Thank you daddy!"

At one point Andrew jumped out of the cart and ran to get his precious Cheetos.

"Andrew!" I called after him. "How the fuu-dge do you do this?" I ask exasperated at an amused Bella as stats, ciphers and rates of obesity and diabetes in children started to run through my head.

"Watch and learn." She winked "Let me handle the next one." She says carrying Andrew and sitting him back on the children's seat, fastening the belt.

A minute later Andrew takes something from another shelf next to him.

"Daddy! Can I have this too?" He shows me some candies with something sugary on top and I look at Bella asking for help.

"Of course sweetie." Bella tells him with a warm smile and I frown at her.

"Thank you mommy!" He lifts his face and kisses her cheek.

Then, when Andrew turns around she takes the box out of the cart and put it back on the shelf without him noticing.

"You save yourself the guilt trip and the crying." She explains in a whisper.

Oh.

"But, don't they notice at the register?"

She shook her head.

"They pick so much stuff they don't remember half of them, and I do keep a couple of things and if they notice when we get home I just tell them that the register man must have forgotten to put them on the bags."

"You are so smart." I dip down to kiss her.

"I'm a mom," she explains "and you are a dad so you'll learn soon enough. Anyway chicken, salmon or steak for dinner?"

"Mhmmm…" I ponder for a moment "I'm kind in the mood for steak."

"Steak it is." She says kissing me back before walking towards the butcher's stall and I stare at the way her hips sway.

"Dad! Can I have this?" Marie asks holding something weird and sparkly it doesn't look too edible to my eyes.

"Sure honey." I say with a smile.

When she turns around I take the bag out.

Half an hour later, we are in the pharmacy and Bella is picking her body wash while I get a few things for myself.

"What's that daddy?" Marie asks curiously.

"Shaving cream." I say poking her nose with my index finger.

"Oh. What's that?" She tilts her head curiously to the side.

"It's a cream I use for shaving so my skin won't get irritated with the razor."

"Oh. Like the pink one mommy uses on her legs?"

I laugh.

"Yes sweetie."

Bella comes back and throws her stuff in the cart, and I catch a glimpse of a small box of Trojan.

I wink at her and she blushes.

"Ready to go?" I ask with a smirk.

"Yes, I just need something else." She kisses my smirk away and turns around to walk away.

"Dad, what's this?" Andrew asks holding up a box of tampons.

"I don't know buddy." I say taking the cowards' way out I don't feel like making up stories about birds again.

"Daddy, when is Santa coming?" Marie asks getting my attention.

"In about 23 days."

"Is that soon?"

"Yes it is." I kiss her forehead.

"Mr. Cullen?" I hear a young strong familiar voice and I turn to see Phil Dwyer walking towards us.

"Phil!" I greet him shaking his hand. "How are you? It's Edward by the way."

"I'm great thank you so, what brings you here?" He asks politely.

"Grocery shopping," I motion towards the cart "these are my kids by the way." I say proudly turning towards Andrew and Marie who are quietly staring at the big man in front of him.

"I can tell," He laughs "They look so much like you, didn't know there was a missus?"

"Yes, there is." I tell him, not bothering to explain. Bella is my life anyways so who cares about an official title?

"Is she here?" He asks looking around.

"Yes, she'll be back in a second if you want to meet her… she is good friends with Tyler's girlfriend by the way."

"It will be a pleasure, my wife's here too. I was just looking for her." He says looking around "I lost her at the wines' section."

"You are tall." Andrew says suddenly.

"He's a hockey player Andrew, he has to be tall." I rub his hair.

"You like hockey little man?" Phil smiles at him.

"Me like soccer more." He says honestly and we laugh.

"Well, me too sometimes." He winks.

"Phil?" We turn to see a brunet woman walk towards us "There you are I was looking for you." She says exasperated.

"Sorry, uhmm Neny this is Edward Cullen… he's Tyler's friend."

"Oh, hi!" She greets me shaking my hand with a wide smile, and there is something about this woman that… I don't know, something in her eyes makes me feel weird.

"Hi." I say politely. "I'm Edward."

"Oh, your kids are beautiful!"

"Thanks." I say proudly. "This is Andrew and Marie they ar-"

"You look like the woman in mommy's photo." Marie interrupts me and I whip my head at hers.

"What was that honey?" I ask as Neny and Phil looks at her with confusion too.

"Yes, on mommy's photo album. The one papa Charlie gave her."

"Who's your mommy?" Neny asks with something strange on her voice.

"Edward, time to go." I hear Bella's sharp voice before she takes the cart with the kids and strolls away.

What the fuck just happened?

"Excuse me." I say to a bewildered Phil and a pale Neny.

…

…

…

"Bella?" I jog catching up with her. "What was that?"

…

…

…

She looks straight in front of her, taking the first register.

"Bella, what's going on?" I ask again as she starts throwing things harshly into the register band.

…

…

…

"Rene." She says simply.

* * *

><p><strong>Damn, Rene just entered the story...<strong>

**By they way, I do have a couple of friends who are twins and lost their virginities on the same night by accident... they said it was weird but funny when they told each other.**

**I'll try to post next weekend, but it's my birthday (I'm turning 21 if you wanted to know) so I'm not sure if I'll have the time. But chapter 3 for my new story will surely be up during the week, it's almost done ;) The banner is on my blog!**

**Also, a reader requested for an Emmet, Rosalie and Liam outtake, is that something you'll be interested on?**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos!**


	35. Chapter 35: You and Me

**HI GUYS! **

**Sorry for the HUGE delay, but RL sucked! Job was hard, I hurt my wrist again, my parents gave me an iphone for my birthday and someone stole it at a club one week after I got it (Don't know when they opened my purse and took out everything) so I had to go and get a new crappy phone because I needed one for my job, I'm in exams and... I don't know everything sucked this week.**

**Now that I got that out of my chest...**

**Here is chapter 35!**

**I wanna thank my beta Cattinson for her awesome job and my prereader Lisopera for encouraging me and helping me with this story. I love you both!**

**SM owns everything!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 35: You and Me<p>

"**You and Me" – Lifehouse**

What day is it? And in what month?  
>This clock never seemed so alive<br>I can't keep up and I can't back down  
>I've been losing so much time<p>

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right  
>I'm tripping on words<br>You've got my head spinning  
>I don't know where to go from here<p>

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
>Nothing to prove<br>And it's you and me and all of the people  
>And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you<p>

There's something about you now  
>I can't quite figure out<br>Everything she does is beautiful  
>Everything she does is right<p>

"_Rene."_

…

…

…

Fuck.

"You Ok?" I ask, not knowing what the hell to say.

She nods.

I help her unload all the groceries on the register band and notice her trembling hands.

"Who's Rene?" Marie asks curiously.

"No one sweetie." Bella gives her a forced smile.

I wrap my right arm around her hugging her to my side and kiss her temple.

"I love you." I whisper to her ear.

She turns to me and buries her face in my chest wrapping her arms around my middle in a tight embrace, as if needing the contact.

"I'm here." I tell her quietly and she nods.

"I know."

I kiss her forehead and then we continue unloading things from the cart. Once everything is scanned I take out my credit card and pay for everything. We put the bags back in the cart and head outside to Bella's SUV.

The drive home is quiet, and I hold her hand the whole way while the kids talk happily in the back in their car seats oblivious to what just happened at the store.

Once we get home, Bella quickly takes the kids inside as it's snowing again and I bring the groceries to the kitchen while she helps them out of their heavy coats. When the kids are free they dart upstairs with Sam and I help Bella start with dinner.

"Are you sure you are ok?" I ask her again as I put things away on the cabinets and she starts preparing the steaks.

She shakes her head.

"No." She says softly.

"What are you feeling?" I ask turning to face her and sitting on top of the kitchen island.

"I'm not sure… I'm torn I don't know how to feel." She says washing her hands on the sink.

"What do you mean?"

She turns to face me and reclines on the counter in front of me drying her hands with a towel.

"Remember when you asked if I ever wanted to see her again?"

"Yes, you said no, that you didn't have anything to say to her."

She nods.

"Well, that was part of it… the other part was that I was afraid of what I would see. I was afraid to see that she was Ok, as if leaving us wasn't something important… as if we were never part of her life." She says looking down, with a trembling voice.

I open my arms to her and she immediately comes to me. I hold her in my arms between my legs and she places her cheek on my shoulder while I sooth her rubbing her back with my hand.

"I had the hope that maybe over the years she regretted her decision, or at least that she'd look for me someday… but she is Ok with her decision… she continued with her life."

"I'm sorry." I kiss the top of her head.

"Don't be… maybe that's what I needed to see… I let her rejection rule most of my life, while she was somewhere else continuing with hers unaffected with what happened… I should have done the same." She looks up and rests her chin on my chest. "Her decisions shouldn't rule my life, she's not even part of it anymore… she never was. I don't know why I let things like this affect me so hard and blur my reasoning… like when I saw you with Tanya, I hate it that I'm so weak and let everything pull me down."

"You are not weak, you wear your feelings on your sleeve… it's part of who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. You don't give yourself in halves you love passionately so when someone disappoints you it's natural to breakdown."

"Yes, but I shouldn't hold onto it and I won't… god, I felt miserable for years… "She places her forehead on my chest "she made me so insecure and it's because of her that I prefer running away instead of facing my problems… like she did, and I'm done with that." She looks up again "I don't want her to rule my life anymore… I don't want to rehash old feelings… I want only to think about us and work things out between us, you and our kids is what I should focus on, the only thing that matters… I'll take this as closure with my past."

I take her face between my hands and clear her tears with my thumbs.

"I understand that Bella, and I'm glad to hear you say that. But I also know you need to get things out of your chest, just because you came to this conclusion it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt you ran into her today. Don't worry about me, I won't take it as a step back… I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"Thank you…" here eyes water again "it's just that I don't want to let her presence ruin things between us, we have come so far… tonight it was supposed to be a happy dinner after the kids play, and here I am… crying again."

I kiss the corner of her eyes and rest her head on my shoulder.

"We can still have that, but I want to also remember you that we were going to use the holidays to reconnect and talk about everything. So don't worry about it… it's Ok to cry love." I kiss her lips. "You can tell me anything, let everything out… I want to be your rock, the person you come to during the hard and good times. I want you to trust me."

"But I don't know what to say… I don't know how I feel. I'm mad at her for leaving but I also don't want to waste my time anymore. I wish I could just brush it away."

"What were your first thoughts when you saw her?" I ask her softly.

She thinks for a minute.

…

…

…

"What's she doing here? Who's that guy she's with?" She finally says.

"His name is Phil." I tell her.

"You know him?" She frowns looking up.

"He's a hockey player… Tyler is his agent I met him when we went to that hockey game a few weeks ago. That's why we were talking before you saw us."

"What a small world… are they married?" She asks playing with the laps of my jacket.

I nod.

"How old is he?"

"I don't know… but he must be in his mid to late twenties." I tell her honestly.

She snorts and rests her head on my chest again.

"God, he could be my little brother… I wonder what happened to the other guy… the one she left dad for."

I kiss her cheek, lingering a little.

"What else do you feel?" I ask softly with my lips still on her cheek.

…

…

…

"Mostly… I feel as if I wasted my time… waiting for a miracle… that maybe I did matter to her and she just made a mistake and came back. But she never came back…"

"If that had been the case… would you feel better about it all?"

"No, she still cheated on my dad but at least I wouldn't have passed the last 21 years of my life thinking I was a _stupid mistake_. I wouldn't have blamed myself for my parents' divorce it would have lessened the heartache."

"What would you do if she wants to contact you?"

She looks up at me as if had gone crazy.

"It's a possibility." I tell her pulling away a little so I can see her better "She was pretty shocked when she saw you. Maybe she is curious?"

"I don't know… it's been a long time… and as I said I want to focus only on my family… I don't want any more drama and she made her point very clear that night that she wasn't part of it so I don't think it'll happen." She buries her face back on my chest and I wrap my arms tighter around her, swaying us lightly from side to side. "Besides, I don't want her too. It's been too long and if she wants to look for me just because she run into me instead of because she wants too, it's wrong. What would be the point of it?"

…

…

…

"I'm sorry pretty girl. I love you."

We stayed like that for a while, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I really hoped this wouldn't set us back or interfere with what we are trying to build now. God, we've been through a lot already we needed a break. Luckily, it didn't seem the case so far… she didn't shut down or avoided the subject.

And what small world indeed, never in my craziest dream would I think _Neny _was actually Rene, Bella's mother. Now that that was clear I could see the resemblance past Rene's plastic surgeries -it was obvious she had gotten Botox and a little bit of lifting- Bella's wavy hair and pale skin were all Charlie but her eyes were the exact shape and color as Rene's as well as her face, she also had her hair color although Rene's was curlier.

I burry my face in the space between her neck and shoulder and kiss her tenderly.

"You look a lot like her."

"I know, that's why Charlie and I struggled so much with our relationship. I reminded him a lot of her, it was hard on him."

"How old is she?"

"She must be 49 she had me when she was 22."

"You were only a year older than her when you had the twins… on your own… don't call yourself weak ever again. It takes a lot of strength and courage to do that." I appraise her.

"I would say I was more of a coward and forced myself into doing it alone… but thanks. It means a lot to me that you see it that way." She smiles up to me and I tilt down my head to kiss her.

"I love you. Thanks for letting me in." I say still kissing her.

"Thank you for being here. I love you too."

After a while the kids came into the kitchen begging to be fed, so Bella and I untangled ourselves and went back to our previous tasks. Well Bella did the cooking I just passed the ingredients and helped setting the table while the kids played around us.

We did end up having a pleasant dinner, with the kids talking non-stop about the play and about going to see Santa tomorrow at the mall. All the while Bella and I sat as close as possible on the table, with my left hand never leaving her hand or thigh when she was busy eating. It was a gesture of assurance, telling her I was here if she needed me, that we were Ok.

After dinner, Bella bathed the kids while I did a little catch up on work. I've been writing for the doctor's journal again and I wanted to do a little writing and research so I wouldn't be too behind on work for when I returned to the clinic on Monday. Tomorrow was Sunday and I intended on dedicating the whole day just to them.

I sensed her before she made her presence known.

I was sitting at the desk in our room, with my laptop on top with a word document opened. I felt her stand behind me before she placed her hands on my shoulders, slowly sliding them down my chest. I closed my eyes when her lips found my neck and I let out a hum in approval.

"You tired?" She asks with her lips against the spot under my ear.

"Not really. Why? Am I getting an early Christmas present?" I say cheekily making her giggle.

"Thanks for tonight." She smiles softly tilting her head to the side as she starts to unbutton my shirt. I move her around to make her sit on my lap -straddling me- I place my hands on her hips and bring my lips to her neck.

"You have nothing to thank me for." I tell her before kissing her lips, she is wearing her white cotton pajama shorts and a tank top under my old U of T sweater. "Thank _you_ for dinner though, and for your fuck awesome cheese cake." I add

"You like that don't you?" She smiles into the kiss.

"It's my second favorite dessert."

"Second?"

"Mhmm…" I hum kissing her neck as my hands wander under her tank top and feel the soft skin on her lower back.

"Which's your favorite?" She asks a little breathless as I brush my lips down her jaw.

"You." I say, and with that I stand up from the chair with her legs wrapping themselves around me as I support her by grabbing her ass and I lay us on our bed with me on top of her.

I start kissing her passionately inciting soft moans out of her while I press myself and my rapidly waking cock flush against her body.

"You locked the door?" I ask between kisses.

"Yes." She says as she unbuttons the last button of my shirt and I help her removing it.

I lean back down and help her out of her clothes, seconds later we are both naked and under the covers.

"I want you so much…" I say as my lips travel along the side of her neck and I start stroking her at the same time, feeling how badly she wants me too.

"Please Edward… Oh!"

"Please what baby?"

I move down to her breasts, my tongue drawing circles around her nipples.

"Please take me… please… ugh… I want you so bad." She moans, her sounds sending electric currents down my spine and into my hardening cock.

"Yes, but I want you to come into my mouth first."

"Ughh! Pretty boy… you are killing me."

It's amazing what this woman does to me, not only sexually but also emotionally. Two days ago I had been hard on her, I had fucked her senseless with the raw need and desperation I had felt after thinking I had lost her again. Now, I wanted to go slow on her I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, how much I cherished and devoted every inch of her. She was my everything and I wanted her to feel it, knowing wasn't just enough, she had to _feel_ how much she meant to me not only as the mother of my kids, but also as my lover and companion. She was my everything, my pretty girl.

"I love you." I whispered locking eyes with her and I could see the beginning of tears on her eyes.

"I love you too."

I kiss her one more time before I continue my journey down her body, kissing and licking every inch of her glorious body. When I reach her apex, slowly, I lick all the way from her entrance to her clit, she wiggled under me and I place my hands on either side of her hips to keep her still. I gently suck her inner lips into my mouth, taking my time savoring the juices coming out of her entrance. With my fingers I start stroking her as I continue to kiss, lick and suck every part of her. My thumb, drawing soft circles around her clit makes her hold the sheets beneath her in a death grip. I replace my fingers with my mouth again, teasing and sucking at it a little making her body shake with pleasure.

"Oh god…" She gasps as she moves her hands above her head, clutching the pillow beneath her head. "Oh!"

"Come for me Bella…" I say going back to using only my tongue, pointing it and drawing circles against her entrance with it.

"Oh yes…" She says as I add pressure and insert the tip of my tongue inside of her, slowly pumping in and out of her. I feel her walls clench and I know she's close so I use my fingers again, stimulating her clit making her moans and whimpers louder until she finally climaxes, her juices pouring into my mouth and I take my time lapping her clean.

I can hear her labored breathing ceasing as she comes down from her high, and I move myself upwards, kissing her neck and chest. She grabs a hold of my hair and pulls my face upwards, crashing our lips together in a passionate kiss. I open my mouth to her and she moans when she tastes herself on my tongue, my cock hard as steel touches her entrance and I can't wait anymore, I need to be inside of her. I align ourselves and I know she can feel me against her hot sex, she trusts upward indicating me that it's Ok.

"Please Edward… I need you too." She begs.

"I love you… you have no idea how much I've missed you."

Her eyes water instantly again, I know we did it the other night but somehow is different this time. The other night was an impulsive thing, an on spur of the moment thing… without thinking, it just happened and both of us were a mess emotionally. We still are, but now we are both here and conscious, we want this and it means much more because now we know where we stand. What we want, I want her forever and she wants me forever too. There are no doubts, no secrets, no misunderstandings… just me and her.

"I love you too," she cries softly "more than my own life."

I kiss her deeply before pulling away again.

"I don't want to hurt you…" I say remembering how sore she had been yesterday "are you Ok now?"

She nods frantically.

"Please Edward, I need you… I'm Ok I promise."

"Where are the condoms?" I ask, hating having to cover up… I wanted to really feel her but risking her getting pregnant -no matter how much I want it- is not the better idea at the moment, not with us still finding out how to be with each other and more importantly, not with Tanya still on the loose. You don't know how or when she's going to strike again.

"In the drawer, on your left."

I reach out and open the drawer to the bedside table to my left and I take out the little box of Trojans that we got tonight. I rip the box open and take out the foil package. Once I open it carefully, I roll the condom over my shaft and position myself over Bella again, kissing those soft swollen lips of her.

"You know you are everything to me right?" I ask in a whisper.

She nods before placing her hand on my cheek.

"And you know that I am and I'll always be only yours…"

I lean down my head capturing her lips with mines again, taking in the feeling of her body against me as I slowly begin to enter her, hearing and feeling her soft moans against my mouth, her hot wet sex taking me in without restraints as if we were made to fit perfectly each other. I feel her heart beating wildly and our breathing becoming faster with all the emotions and feelings swirling down our bodies. It's amazing how this woman is able to wake every nerve in my body and set it up in flames just by being her.

I continue to slowly enter her and when I'm finally all the way in, I take a moment to feel all of her, trying to get my bearings before embarrassing myself by coming too soon but I can't help myself, it's too tight, too perfect. I've wanted to be with her for so long, I've missed her so much I don't know how I did it to survive her all this time. This is so perfect this is how it was supposed to be.

"Are you Ok?" I ask, still fearful of hurting her.

"I'm perfect." She says circling her arms around me, bringing me closer to her. Her hands doing wonders on my hair and torso, I love how her touch feels on me.

I continue to give her tender kisses and saying sweet things against her ear, giving her time to adjust to me. Apart from the other night she hasn't been with someone in years, and I know I had been very hard on her that night so I know she must be tender still.

"You can move, it doesn't hurt… I'm Ok. I promise." She says with her voice full of emotion, tears spilling down her eyes, I nod and kiss her tears away before I start to move in a slow pace thinking of her and wanting to feel and enjoy everything, wanting to make this experience last for as long as possible.

My hands roam all over her body, trying to bring her as much pleasure as I can. When we set on a comfortable rhythm I take one of her hands and thread my fingers though hers, bringing our joined hands over her head and resting them over the pillow. She holds at it tightly as I begin to quicken the pace a little, her whimpers becoming louder as we both tremble with pleasure.

"Bella…" I moan "so good…"

"I know… please… don't stop."

"Never, I love you pretty girl… so much."

She lets out a loud cry.

"I love you more sunshine…" She says breathless.

I continue to thrust in and out of her in long slow strokes, it doesn't take long before I feel her walls tighten again almost as the same time I feel my own release building up. I change the angle so I'm also rubbing against her clit and that makes her louder, I kiss her to muffle her noises not wanting us to get interrupted again and I start to accelerate the pace once again.

"Edward!" She cries my name sending currents of ecstasy to my groin and I use my hand to massage her breasts, wanting her to come once more before me knowing I'll not last for too long now.

"Come baby, come for me." I urge. "Fuck Bella, you feel so good." I say shakily.

"God!" She cries as I change the angle and speed once more "Oh! There, oh yes!"

Two minutes later her walls constrict sending her over the edge with me following close after. I fall limp over her, relieving on the bliss of post orgasm glow. When I finally come back down to earth, carefully I withdraw myself from her and dispose of the condom only to instantly come back to lay next to her and bring her close to me. She buries her face on my chest, giving me a soft kiss above my heart and humming contently.

"You are like wine." She says sleepily.

"Are you an alcoholic addicted to me or something?" I tease lightly as I play with a few strands of her hair.

"No, you just get better with age." She looks up at me with a twinkle in her eyes and I chuckle at her silliness although my ego surely welcomed the compliment.

She places her hand on my chest, gently caressing her fingers over my skin.

"Why did you pick this charm?" She asks then, and I noticed the hand she has over my chest is the one with the bracelet I gave her at the gala.

I shrug closing my eyes and burying my face on her hair, breathing her in.

"It made me think of you."

"How? I mean, is a heart I guess that should be explanation enough but why a yellow sapphire instead of a blue one? I know you like blue on me."

"It made me think of your tattoo, the Sol and Fa keys forming the heart together? Sol means sun in Spanish, you call me sunshine sometimes. The color represents the sun and the shape is a heart as your tattoo." I explain. "I don't know I wanted you to have a representation of me with you… something I gave you so you'll think of me when you look at it."

She smiles warmly at me before kissing me soundly.

"You are always on my mind," She whispers into the kiss "and now I like it even more… I'd have loved any gift you gave me, but this one has a special meaning now and you know how I love thoughtful stuff so thank you."

"You are welcome, I'm glad you finally accepted a present without complaints."

She chuckles sleepily, as her eyes flutter close.

"I love you." I say brushing my lips over her temple, knowing she is almost gone. It has been a long day so it's no surprise she's tired.

"Good, because I love you too." She mumbles before falling asleep.

* * *

><p>"You got it?"<p>

"Yes daddy."

"That's my boy, now let's try it."

Big mistake, big. Huge.

"Fuuc-dge!" I scream jumping backwards as suddenly my pants are all covered in urine and I hear Bella laugh from the door to our bathroom where she's standing watching me teach Andrew to pee like grown-ups.

"You are cleaning this up." Bella says between giggles and I throw her a playful glare before turning back to my son who is watching me with big eyes.

"Was that wrong?" He asks in a small voice.

"Well, you know kiddo you are supposed to pee _in_ the toilet not _around_ the toilet."

"Sorry, you mad?" He asks with a quivering chin.

"Of course not," I kiss his head "We'll get there… just remember, point and shoot. We'll try again later."

"Why me can't pee like mommy?" He inquires as Bella helps him pull up his pants.

"Because mommy is a girl and you are a boy, we are different. Our bodies are different." I explain as I clean up the mess with a towel.

"Is that why boys hav weewees and girls hav wuwus?" He asks curiously and I choke on my own breath.

What?!

Damn it, do not laugh Cullen, you are a doctor. You are supposed to be able to talk about this.

"Uhm… yes," I say and I see Bella biting her lip to disguise her smile. "Exactly, so we boys have advantages… we can pee standing up anywhere we want."

Bella snorts.

"Not anywhere, don't give him any ideas." She says.

"Sorry, I mean anywhere mommy and I say is Ok if it's an emergency."

With the look on his face I know he doesn't understand shit.

I shake my head.

"Go and play with Sam, if you feel like peeing again come and tell Ok?" I say giving up with the explanation.

When he is out of the room I turn to Bella.

"Weewees and wuwus? What happened to good old pee-pee and yay-yay?" I ask still amused at Andrew's unusual choice of words and Bella shrugs going into our closet and handing me a new set of pants.

"Your son is very creative, but I guess he must have heard it from someone else, maybe school since weewee is pretty common. I've never heard about wuwus before though." She chuckles. "You have to admit it has a ring to it."

I pull down my soaked pants and I catch Bella staring, I wink at her as I pull up my new set of pants and she gives me a small pout.

"What? Is your wuwu missing my weewee already?" I joke and she cracks up.

"Oh god, please don't say that again." She laughs and I step closer to her, caging her between my arms.

"I miss your wuwu." I say giving her a sloppy kiss on her neck, making her laugh hysterically "I haven't seen her since this morning, how long before we go to my parents?" I ask continuing to nibble at her neck.

"We can't," She groans but still doesn't pull away "the kids are coming and going all over the house looking for hidden presents and we have to start getting ready for tonight. We can't be late, it's Christmas."

Right.

Today is December 24th, my first Christmas with Bella and the kids.

I can't wait, Bella and I had gone Christmas' shopping together last weekend, and we had spend the past three nights wrapping presents together while we talked and just enjoyed each others' company. It was awesome I don't remember any time of my life that I had been this happy and grateful. There was still the threat of Tanya, but at times like this it was hard to remember she was still on the loose and probably a danger to Bella and the kids.

But I didn't want to think of her tonight either, tonight was just about us. About my family and the most important people in my world.

"Did I tell you Jasper is dressing up as Santa tonight?" I ask with my lips still on her skin.

"Shut up!" She says pulling away in amusement "Really?"

"Yep. Alice is making him, she got presents for everyone on behalf of _Santa_." I say signing quotations marks with my fingers on Santa.

"The kids will be so excited!" She gushes and my heart melts at her joy.

"I know, tonight is gonna be a good night." I say smiling down at her.

"Are you quoting the black eyed peas now?" She teases in mock seriousness and I roll my eyes at her.

"You know what I mean." I kiss her chastely and her eyes warm instantly.

"I know, and I can't wait either… I may have a surprise for you by the way."

"Really?" I ask beaming at her.

"Yes, and I'm sure your weewee will appreciate it as well." She winks and I instantly have a hard on.

"Can I have a hint?" I ask lowering my hand until they reach her bottom, I think I have a slight idea of what my surprise is. "Does this surprise come in wrapping paper or just a bow?"

"I can't tell, but I guess if you were a good boy this year… I might let you play with it tonight instead of tomorrow." She says batting her eyelashes at me playfully.

"I've been a very good boy, I swear." I say in mock seriousness "I ate all my veggies and did my homework." I tease making her giggle.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Now, let's go and chase those kids of yours and start getting ready, it's five already and we are supposed to be there at seven."

"Yes, Ma'am." I salute her, before pinching her butt and go in search of _those kids of mine_.

"Love you!" She calls after me.

"Sure, sure."

It's a little after seven when we park on the driveway to my parents house, and like in those Christmas' movies, the streets are covered in a thick layer of snow as more snow falls down from the darkening sky, twinkle lights adorn my parent's house and we can see families talking and hugging each other happily from the windows of the neighbors.

Bella and I unbuckle the kids from their seats and I take the suit case with the gifts for the family, we hurry to the entrance and Bella opens the door for us. The heat hits our face and I put Andrew on the floor so we can take out our coats. As soon as the kids are out of theirs they run in direction of the game room where we can hear voices coming from. Bella follows them as I go to place the gifts under my parents' grand Christmas tree.

Once the presents are placed next to the rest of my family –which are a lot- I go back to the living room, running into Jasper on the way.

"Hey man! Merry Christmas." I say slapping his back.

"Hi Eddie, merry Christmas to you too."

We walk into the game room where the rest of the family is, dad is on the floor with the twins and Liam, engaging them in a Pictionary/Christmas type of game. I spot Bella talking to mom and I go to say hi to her.

"Hi mom," I kiss her cheek "The house looks wonderful." I tell her appreciating all the decorations.

"Thank you sweetie! I have to admit Alice helped me though."

"Well, you both did a wonderful job." I say placing my arm around Bella's shoulders.

"Uncle Elward!" A high pitched voice says and I look down to see Liam staring at me with happy eyes "Look! Memett got me a Batman cape!"

"That's very cool!" I smile at him "Andrew has a Superman one, you two can be heroes together."

He nods frantically, but when Jasper comes to stand next to me he runs to sit next to Rosalie on the couch where she is talking with Alice. Rosalie turns to him and sits him on her lap before nuzzling his cheek making him laugh.

Jasper frowns.

"Is he afraid of me or something?"

"You kind of look like his dad." Emmett says approaching us. "Honey blonde, tall… I think that's it."

"Oh." Jasper says awkwardly "I don't want him to be afraid of me, what do you think I should do?"

"Give him time, he'll see you mean no harm." Emmett says good naturedly. "He was afraid of me at first too."

"Is he officially yours now?" Bella asks reclining her head on my shoulder and putting her hand on my stomach.

"Yes." Emmett smiled at her "We signed the last papers last week. He's a Cullen now." He adds proudly.

"Congratulations bro." I say, truly happy for him.

"Daddy, can I open my presents now?" Marie asks tugging at my pants and I turn to Bella, not able to handle her pleading eyes.

"After dinner sweetie." Bella says picking her up and kissing her cheek.

"Why?" She whines.

"Because I say so."

"Why?"

"Because I say so." Bella says again playfully and Marie rolls her eyes.

"You say that already!"

"Well, you asked the same thing too." Bella wiggles her eyes brows and Marie frowns in defeat.

Half an hour later, Jasper and Alice discretely disappear. Walking out of the living room -where we had all just moved as per Alice's request- without telling anyone and fifteen minutes later we hear the distinct sound of a bell being played. We all go quiet as the kids start looking around curiously.

"Ho ho ho!" I hear Jasper say loudly as he rounds the corner and enters into the living room dressed as Santa, long beard, round stomach and all.

We hear three tiny little gasps, and like lighting Andrew jumps up from the floor running towards _Santa _to give him a hug. Sadly as Jasper is carrying a big sack with presents with one hand and a big bell with the other he has no time to cover his junk.

"Merry Christmas!" He squeaks and Emmett and I burst out laughing.

"Santa! You came!" Marie jumps out of Bella's arms.

"Of course little one!" Jasper booms in his Santa's voice a little recovered.

"What are you doing here?!" She continues.

"Well, I was told there was a party in here so I thought of visiting!"

"Go and say hi to Santa." I hear Rosalie encourage Liam and he slowly makes his way to stand next to Marie.

"What's in there?!" Andrew points excitedly at the sack Jasper just put on the floor.

"OH! That's a little surprise for tonight! Were you good this year?!"

They all nod frantically.

"Well, then I'm sure there's something for you in here! But first, let me sit down… I had a long journey from the North Pole! Alice?"

Alice dances into the room with mom next to her carrying a stool, she places it next to the tree and we all look as Jasper starts handing down presents to everyone –barely able to move because of his fake stomach- and leaving the kids for last. I laughed at the utter worry in their expressions as we all start getting our presents but them. I got some music sheets with compositions about one of my favorite pianists –I think it's a hint for me to start to play again- and Bella gets a beautiful blue dress from Jasper and Alice as well, Jasper continues giving away presents and then when all the adults have theirs he makes a joke about that being it and I see the utter disappointment on the kids faces. Then he makes a show of finding something else in the sack and gives Marie, Andrew and Liam two presents each, their faces beam with excitement.

Of course we all take pictures with Santa, mom going crazy with the camera and I take a mental note to remember asking her for a copy of the picture she took of Bella, the kids and I with Santa Jasper. After a while Jasper leaves promising there would be more in the morning just as Mrs. Cope comes into the living room telling us dinner is ready and we all head to the dining room.

Before following the rest I make sure all doors are closed, just in case. Thankfully mom didn't use the grand dining room for diner as I didn't want any memories of Thanksgiving ruining the night. When I have checked all the doors I make my way back to the dining room and run into Bella on the hallway.

"Hey, what you doing?" She asks smiling at me.

"Where you going?" I ask instead, evading her question.

"Bathroom… wanna join me?" She smiles at me knowingly.

I laugh but then I see the seriousness in her face.

God, is she serious?

"Wha- In my parent's house?" I ask with wide eyes.

She shrugs.

"We've done it before." She traces a finger down my chest slowly and I swallow hard. "Remember that little present I was talking about this morning?"

I nod slowly.

"Wanna peek?" She smiles devilish at me as she comes even closer to me. I place my hands on her hips and for the first time I notice the corset she is wearing under her dress –I knew het tits looked different for some reason- and I'm sure she can feel my instant approval against her stomach.

"Fuck." I mutter quietly, she stands on her toes, pressing her breasts on my chests and brushes her lips against mines.

But just when I'm about to take her into my arms and run upstairs to my old room Alice pops her head from the dining room.

"Hey! Pregnant woman here! Hurry your ass up here! I'm starving!"

DAMMIT!

I glare at my sister and Bella's giggles.

"I guess we have to wait till we get home." She says and I pout, she kisses my lower lip before taking my hand and leading the way to the dining room.

Now I can't get rid of the images of Bella in a bright red corset out of my head.

Fucking pregnant cockblocker.

When we are all seated on our places, with Bella next to me, Marie on my lap and Jasper –who has just returned from changing back into his normal clothes- on my other side Mrs. Cope and a waiter come into the room placing the food in the middle of the table.

"Good job, Jasper." Dad smiles at his son-in-law and we all agree with him. He did a wonderful Santa.

After a quick prayer led by dad we all dive into it. Turkey, ham and other casseroles are passed around the table as laughs and happy conversations float around the room. Of course all the time I'm very aware of Bella sitting next to me, my hands itching to touch her under the table but with Marie on my lap and family nearby I try to control myself.

"Nana! Did you see what Santa got me?!" Marie asks happily showing mom her new necklaces and shiny bracelets that she is wearing now from across the table.

"Yes sweetie. Oh my, you look so elegant!"

"Sunshine, can you pass me the gravy please?" Bella asks placing her hand on my thigh way too innocently.

Fucking tease.

Damn it, I have Marie on my lap!

"Of course." I say in a strained voice before giving her the bowl. "Emmett, can you pour me more wine please?"

"Dad! Look! It talks!" Andrew thankfully gets my full attention by showing me his new Superman.

"Wow, that's awesome kiddo!" I tell him.

"MEmmett, look!" I hear Liam say and I turn to see him showing Emmett his new toy too.

I smile at them.

Liam is unusually chatty tonight too, and I see the joy on Em and Rose's eyes. He still has a little way to go but I can tell he's feeling more and more comfortable with his new family. He and Andrew had bonded pretty well and I couldn't be happier about it, especially since Alice is having a girl so it's nice for Andrew to have a male cousin around his age too as Marie will have Camille. Things are turning out to be too perfect I'm a little scared about becoming it too much something will strike us again.

I feel Bella's hand on my shoulder.

"Where did you go?" She whispers with happy eyes and I shake my head.

"Just thinking about how happy I am." I say watching her smile become wider.

"I'm happy too."

I tilt my head down and kiss her chastely.

"Hey lovebirds, can one of you pass the mashed potatoes please?" Alice interrupts again and I glare at her.

She's definitely on my list tonight.

"Fatty." I mutter under my breath and Jasper tenses next to me. Thankfully Alice didn't hear me.

The evening progressed in the same manner, with all of us having a good time. Around ten, we finally move back to the living room and mom starts reading the tags on the presents giving them to their respective owners. Wrapping paper and bows in every color start to fly around and dad turns up the volume on the speakers with Christmas' carols playing in the background.

I'm not surprised when I receive a gift from Bella, and I beam when I open the box to find a portrait with a picture of us with the kids taken on brunch last week, we all look so happy on the couch of the game room.

"Thank you." I kiss her "I love it."

"It's for your office I think you need a little update." She smiles.

"My turn." I quip, handing her the present I got her last week. I had had a hard time finding her the perfect simple present as I knew she hated extravaganzas. I almost threw a happy dance when I entered the antique store and run into this beautiful charm for her to attach on her bracelet.

She gasps as soon she opens the box.

"Oh god Edward, it's beautiful!" She says bringing it close to her face. "I love it!" She gives me a thankful kiss.

"I'm glad you like it, may I?" I ask opening my palm to her and she hands me the box. I take out the white gold Sol key charm and lock it next to the heart on her bracelet, she lifts her wrist and we watch them dangle and shine together in the air.

"It's perfect." She beams up at me.

The night continues and as the kids played with their new toys the adults hanged around near them on the living room. Wine flies freely as well as snacks and desserts. By twelve the kids had fallen asleep on the couch, the three of them bundled together under a blanket mom had placed over them so we decide to cut the night.

"God, we are getting old." Emmett had said.

We give our farewells and carry Andrew and Marie back to the car as Jasper helps us with their new toys. Once everything is packed Bella takes the wheel and we drive back home.

* * *

><p>When we get home we put the kids to bed on their rooms, we kiss them goodnight and then we head downstairs to arrange Santa's present. I go out to the warehouse on the backyard and unlock the chains, take the boxes with the gifts and run back into the house. When I enter the living room, I notice that Bella has taken of her dress and is now on her robe.<p>

"You got them?" She asks as soon as I close the door behind me and shake out the snow.

"Yes, were should we put them?" I ask putting the last box on the floor.

Bella thinks for a moment.

"Under the tree, the ones with snowmen are Andrew's and the ones with Santas and reindeers are Marie's" She reminds me.

We sit on the floor together separating the gifts on either side of the tree, talking softly about tonight and guessing the kids reactions to the gifts tomorrow then Bella reminds me about Andrew's tricycle in the basement so I go to retrieve it. When I'm back, I see Bella –who had taken off her robe and is now wearing the sexiest, red silk robe ever- preparing the chimney.

"What's this?" I ask noticing a bottle of wine and two glasses on the coffee table next to a bowl with fruits.

"Your Christmas present." She looks at me over her shoulder with a sexy smile, and just like that… I have a frigging boner.

She stands up and goes to the speakers, and I watch her walk gracefully across the room never taking my eyes out of her. She turns them on lowering the volume as our song, "You and Me" by Lifehouse fills the room.

"I don't know how to play this on the guitar…" She starts to say, not facing me yet "like you did… that time." Slowly she turns around coming to stand in front of me. Her eyes changed, they are not playful anymore and I'm speechless and nervous for some reason "So, dance with me?"

She holds her hand out to me.

I frown, not really understanding her words but comply nonetheless. I place my hand on her waist and grab her left hand bringing it to my chest.

And that's when I notice it.

She is wearing her ring.

"Bella?" I choked out and her eyes instantly fill with tears.

"When you proposed that morning…" She starts softly looking at our joined hands, the fire being the only source of light causing the ring to shine in the dark room "you said that you always knew that some part of you was missing, and that you used to think that that part went missing when Andrew left but, when you met me… you knew it was only me who was meant to fill that part… Pretty boy, I understand that better than you'd think of…"

She pauses to take a breath and I remain silent, shocked.

"When we ran into Rene weeks ago, it made me think about us a lot. She didn't want us so she left, but you came back… and I don't want to ever leave you either… so I asked myself… what am I doing? Why do I keep wasting time? We can have it all so easily… what I've always wanted but I've done nothing but whine about what I've lost instead of appreciating what I have now with you. You asked me once for one more chance… but in reality it's me who needed it."

She places both of her hands on my cheeks.

"I needed to give myself one more chance to be happy, and you are the only one who can give me that. My only shot at real happiness and at having the life I always wanted, full of love and bliss. You are my soul mate, my other half, my everything… Edward, I honestly wouldn't know how to live without you…"

She stands on her toes wrapping her arms around my neck and resting her forehead against mine.

"My Pretty boy… please… would you do me the extraordinary honor to marry me?" She says making the exact same question I had made her exactly five years ago.

"Are you serious?" I ask with my heart on my throat.

"Never been this serious." She says with her voice full of emotion.

…

…

…

"Yes, I'll marry you pretty girl."

And with that I close the distance between us, meeting my lips with hers and pouring all my love in the most ardent kiss we've ever shared.

* * *

><p><strong>Awww! Eddie finally got his wish!<strong>

**Now, it hard for me to say this but... 3 chapter left people! So here is where I ask you... I've been thinking of a sequel, I do have a plot planned out but it will be mostly fluff with a little bit of angst in it (you know me) We'll be dealing with Rene and a few other things, like Edward and Bella starting their new life together. Tell me if you are interested in it so I know how to end this one!**

**The chapter where Edward remembers the proposal is chapter 3 if you wanna go read it and Bella's ring is on my blog!**

**Thank you so much to all the people who already joined me on my new story "Sweet Little Angel" I'll be posting chapter 4 hopefully tomorrow!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	36. Chapter 36: All I Want For Christmas

**Hello hello!**

**We are almost done! I read you answers about the sequel, and about four of you said didn't like sequels, and with such a wonderful story (thank you very much) it wasn't necessary, so I came to a conclusion, I'll finish OMC at chapter 40 with a happy ending (including epilogue) and I'll do a sequel but I won't end OMC with a cliffie or anything, so if you want to join me in part two you can if you want and if you don't then you won't miss anything important =)**

**That being said, thank you soooo much for your response to the last chapter, and thank you for all the advices and requests for the sequel! You made me laugh with jealous Edwards over Marie and over protective Edwards on pregnancy and stuff... some of you actually guessed af few things of what will happen!**

**Now, enough with the chat!**

**SM owns everything BUT my beautiful ginger smurfs!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 36: All I Want For Christmas Is You<p>

"**All I Want For Christmas Is You" – Michael Bublé**

I don't want a lot for Christmas.  
>There is just one thing I need.<br>I don't care about presents  
>Underneath the Christmas tree.<br>I don't need to hang my stocking  
>There upon the fireplace.<br>Santa Claus won't make me happy  
>With a toy on Christmas day.<br>I just want you for my own,  
>More than you could ever know.<br>Make my wish come true.  
>All I want for Christmas is you.<p>

"DAD! MOM!"

Bella and I wake up with a start, my heart racing miles per hour.

"SANTA CAME SANTA CAME!" Marie and Andrew scream with excitement jumping on our bed before disappearing back into the hallway.

"Ugh… my head." I groan rolling over and Bella chuckles next to me as I wrap my arms around her using her as a pillow.

"Hangover baby?" She caresses the back of my neck.

I nod against her chest.

Thankfully with all their excitement the kids didn't notice Bella and I were naked under the covers.

I did get my early present last night.

And what a present I got.

With my eyes closed, I bring her left hand to my mouth kissing her ring. With her free hand she caresses my hair and I hum in content.

"Merry Christmas." I mumble against her skin.

"Merry Christmas… fiancé." She whispers the last part and I open my eyes squinting a little bit at the light coming through the curtains, I take her chin kissing her softly.

"You made me so happy last night." I grin into the kiss.

"You make me happy all the time." She answers kissing me back.

…

…

…

"Mommy!" Marie calls from downstairs.

"We should get up." She says kissing my temple "C'mon, I'll make you some coffee."

With a groan we get up and dress ourselves in comfy clothes and walk downstairs hand in hand. I rub my thumb over her ring, still making sure I'm not dreaming.

We enter the living room and the kids are waiting for us sitting down by the tree. Well, Marie is… Andrew is already riding his new tricycle around the living room. Bella is so happy she doesn't mind him scratching the hardwood floor or damaging any piece of furniture.

"Dad! Look what Santa got me!" He comes to a stop in front of me and rings the bell.

"That's very cool kiddo, what else did you get?" I ask him sitting on the floor next to Marie as she opens her first present.

"Dunno." He says jumping off the tricycle and sitting in front of me next to his presents.

After a few minutes, Bella comes in to the living room with a tray with four cups of steaming hot cocoa with marshmallows handing us one each. I open my arms and legs for her and she sits on the floor in front of me reclining her back on my chest as I hug her middle and burry my face in her neck.

We spend the next couple of hours like that, enjoying the kids' happy faces, helping them put batteries into their new toys and taking pictures and video. Bella cried at some point between pictures and when Marie asked if she was sick, Bella had said they were happy tears. Bella had cleared her tears with her fingers and that's when Marie, -my ever perceptive pretty little girl- spotted Bella's ring which brought a new round of tears but this time from Marie. I was so happy, so emotional I shed a couple of tears too.

"You and daddy getting married?" She whimpered.

"Yes baby." Bella cried opening her arms to her and Marie came to sit on her lap crying quietly.

"Really?"

"Yes, and you are going to be the most beautiful flower girl in the world." Bella whispered to her making Marie beam at us.

Around noon, while Bella called Charlie to wish him a happy Christmas I took the kids upstairs to get them ready for nana's. All the family were going for a Christmas' lunch and have leftovers from last night and now, Bella and I had a new purpose. We wanted share the news, pretty much like 5 years ago. When the kids were ready I left them on the TV room watching a movie while I headed to our room to get ready too.

"How's Charlie?" I ask her as she joins me in the shower stall.

"He's good he's coming for the kids' birthday in January." She informed me.

"That's great." I say fidgeting with the shower spray so it can cover us both.

"He wants to talk to you by the way." She suddenly says as she pours some shampoo on her hand.

"Oh…" Is all I say suddenly distracted by the water slipping down her perfect naked body. "Why?"

"I told him, about last night so… he wants to talk to you."

Shit, last time I saw him he had punched me in the face in Forks when I went looking for Bella.

Bella's hands on my chest makes me focus again on her.

"Don't worry about him… he was kind of Team Edward when I had the twins so he won't be hard on you… he just wants to talk."

"He was on my side?" I ask incredulous.

"Kind of, I told you once… he had told me to call you and tell you everything, but I refused and of course he didn't push me, especially when I was all a mess with the postnatal depression but although he was mad at you for what happened I knew he still didn't agree with my decision."

"Yeah, but he still didn't like me _before_ that morning… I don't think that has changed over the years."

"It's just a talk." She tries to soothe my nerves.

"Talk, Ok… I can do that." I say nervously and she laughs at me.

"You look so scared." She giggles rinsing her hair.

"He has a gun." I deadpan helping her remove the remains of shampoo from her hair and she rolls her eyes at me.

"The man can barely walk nowadays," She starts to spread liquid soap around my chest with a sponge "I think you are safe." She smirks and I kiss her cute smirk off.

She giggles when I cage her against the wall in the shower stall and I grab her left knee circling her leg around my waist and lifting her by grabbing her ass. She brings her arms around my neck for leverage as my cock brushes against her entrance. She squirms a little when I add a little pressure and I capture her lips with mines again, sucking her bottom lip that was still a little bit swollen from last night.

"I guess we are safe now?" I ask, as last night she didn't ask me to use any protection.

She chuckles breathlessly

"What?"

"Protection?"

"Oh."

"Bella?" I say thrusting my hips forward, pressing her hot core against me.

"Oh yes…" She breathes and finally, I enter her.

It never gets old, this sensation of fulfillment I have every time we are together. I take in every second of it, changing paces every few minutes, working her up slowly to make it last longer. But not now, I'm too excited and overwhelmed with everything that had happened recently to go slow. If someone would have told me six months ago that I would be spending next Christmas like this, engaged with the woman I loved and enjoying hot cocoa in the morning with my kids I would have laughed.

And now, here I am.

With her back pressed firmly against the wall and her arms still around my neck, I grab her ass firmly and start coming in and out of her in a steady but forceful pace. The steam of the shower makes it hard to breathe, making her chest pant against mine. I tilt my head down and suck on long curve of her neck making her throw her head back, arching her spine.

"Oh yes, there baby." She pants and I quicken my pace.

She grabs at my hair forcefully, claiming my mouth as she wraps her other leg around me. Caging me in a tight grip and I slam her against the wall with more force, muting her screams with my mouth on hers.

Not long after she comes and I follow a minute later.

She releases her grip around my waist, and as she tries to stand on her own feet she stumbles a little so I hold her up against the wall. She looks up at me with dreamy eyes and I kiss her nose before hiding my face on her neck, leaving a little trail of wet kisses.

"I love you." I whisper as I reach her ear and suck her earlobe.

"Mhmm… If you keep doing that I might love you too." She teases lazily and I snort.

"So you just want me because of my body? And here I thought you wanted me because of me… what a disappointment." I shake my head mockingly.

"Oh baby, I do want you for all the right reasons… I'm just saying your libido might add a few inches."

"Just a few?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, about nine inches." She winks and I beam at her.

I take the soap and sponge and now it's my turn to wash her. I take my time scrubbing and washing her, and she jokes about me spending an awful lot of time on her ass. Then she pours some shampoo on my hair and it's her turn to take care of me. It might be silly or cheesy, but we are tired of heavy stuff and too happy to care. We are just happy to finally be able to enjoy our time together, it's at times like this that I forget about the outside world and about a crazy ex probably waiting to strike on the corner.

* * *

><p>Around noon, we finally are out of the house and on our way to my parents' place. We had asked the kids not to say anything about Bella and I to the adults yet until we tell them and they had understood, but that didn't stop them from asking questions during the drive.<p>

"Mommy, would you wear a crown when you marry daddy?" Marie asked which made Bella and I laugh out loud.

"I don't think so honey."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll have to use a veil instead." Bella answered and I smiled at the image that formed in my mind.

"Can you use both? Ariel did in her wedding with Prince Erick. Cinderella too."

"Yes, but they are princesses I'm not."

"When are you getting married?" Andrew asked then and Bella and I looked at each other.

"I don't know kiddo, we haven't settled a date yet."

"Can me be your best man?"

"Sure." I laughed.

Half an hour later I parked in my parents' driveway, as always we were the last to arrive. Handling two four year olds ain't easy.

We walk into my parents' house and I locked the door behind me as I put Andrew on the floor. Bella did the same with Marie and like lighting they run towards the kitchen where we hear my family talking.

"NANA!" Andrew calls as he enters the kitchen "Look what Santa gots me!" He says showing her a Superman stuffed doll.

"Andrew, let me take you out of your coat first." I say as I enter the kitchen but he ignores me as he turns to Liam who is on a stool in Rose's lap.

"Liam, what you got?!" He asks as Bella walks into the kitchen wrapping her arms around me.

"I got a bicycle!" Liam says jumping to the floor "and a truck, wanna see it?!"

"Yes!"

A second later the three of them are out of the room.

"I think we are going to be pretty ignored today until dessert time." My mom says smiling after them.

"I don't blame them, Liam's trucks are awesome. I wish he would let me play with them for once." Emmett huffs and Rosalie rolls her eyes.

"Emmett, how old are you?" Rosalie asks and Emmett frowns.

"Thirty two."

"Thanks." Rosalie says back and we laugh.

Then, I hear my little sisters' trademark pitched squeal.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" She points at Bella as the rest of my family looks at her warily while Bella and I share a knowing look.

"Alice, dear calm down… what's wrong?" Jasper says worriedly.

And just like that Alice starts bawling, stressing the hell out of Jasper.

"YOU ARE ENGAGED!"

Bella and I are met with six set of eyes, and I can't stop the face splitting smile that immediately spreads on my face as Bella holds her hand up showing her ring that Alice obviously noticed before anyone else.

"Oh my god!" Mom cries, and we are suddenly involved in hugs and congratulations from the members of my family. Bella is crying, and I'm surprised when I see her and Rosalie share a warm hug. Rosalie whispers something to Bella and she nods as more tears fall from her cheeks.

"About time man!" Jasper and I share a man hug, then its Emmett's turn.

"Congratulations Eddie, hopefully now you'll stop mopping around."

"Shut up." I laugh.

"Please, please let me organize your wedding! Pleeeease! Do you have a date yet?" I hear Alice ask frantically.

"No we don't," Bella says turning to me for help "we haven't discussed it yet."

"I think August or September would be perfect, it's not too cold or to hot… like the original plan." Alice insists.

"Yeah, well… I was thinking on something way smaller… and sooner." Bella turns to me.

"Why?" Alice asks "August is perfect! Besides, you need to make reservations at least five months in advance for The Ritz… or The Gardiner Museum!"

"No, definitely not The Ritz."

"Why?" Alice whined.

"I want something small, nothing extravagant…" Bella says coming to a stop next to me, linking our arms together and leaning her head on my shoulder "and I was hoping for a winter wedding."

I smile down to her.

"Then a winter wedding it is." I say, stopping Alice from saying anything else.

"Well, we'll discuss this later." Mom says "Now, everybody shoo… the table is set outside on the deck, Carlisle can you please turn the heaters on?"

"Sure." Dad says and everyone follows him outside.

"So, a winter wedding?" I whisper to Bella as we follow to the rest of the family.

"Yeah, is that Ok?" She says a bit unsecure.

"Are you kidding me? If it were for me we would be at the city hall right now, I was just surprised… you were all for a fairy tale wedding last time."

"Well, my priorities changed… it doesn't matter how or where, I just want to marry you. I don't need a big wedding as long as I get to have you officially soon, that's enough for me."

Before walking out on the deck, I help Bella with her sweater while dad turns on the heaters outside and everyone take their seats.

"Are you sure? I don't mind the fanfare, I want you to be happy." I say cupping her cheeks.

"Positive, last time I wanted all to be perfect…" She places her hands on my wrists "the little girl in me wanted the fairytale wedding, the perfect flowers, the perfect vases, the perfect hall, the perfect dress… then I lost you, so I realize now that all that stuff doesn't matter. What matters is to whom I am marrying, that's what really makes it all magical. By marrying you I'm marrying my prince, I'm having my fairytale already."

I smile softly at her and give her a small kiss.

"You think so highly of me." I say brushing my lips along her cheek. "I'm not perfect you know?"

She shrugs.

"I know, I'm not perfect either that's why we are perfect for each other." She stands on her toes and kisses me chastely. "Now, let's go outside I'm starving and Esme's mashed potatoes look delicious."

* * *

><p>"You want more toast?"<p>

"No, thanks… I'm already late." I say tipping the last of my coffee.

"You are your own boss you set your own time."

"Sorry pretty girl, but I have an appointment in an hour. I gotta go before I get stuck in traffic."

She gives me this lovely pout and I lean across the breakfast bar to kiss it away.

"Thanks for breakfast, it was delicious." I say standing up and taking my plate with me to the sink.

"At what time do you get off?" She asks from behind me.

"You tell me?" I smirk at her, and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Seriously, are you working late today?"

"Not really, because of the holidays the clinic is kind of slow right now I only have a few appointments. I can probably sneak out around four. What are you doing today?" I say turning around looking for my keys.

"Alice and I are going shopping." She says and I throw her a weird look which makes her laugh "The kids' birthday is next week," she explains "she's helping me with the party."

"Good," I smile widely at her "what about the kids?"

I go into the foyer and take my coat from the coat closet as Bella follows me

"Esme is taking care of them today, I think Rosalie is dropping off Liam too as she is busy with preparing the New Year's party at her house for Thursday night."

"Mom must be over the moon then, she loves spoiling them all."

"You could say that, now gimme a kiss before you go." She says standing on her toes.

I place my hand on the nape of her neck and kiss her soundly.

"I love you." I tell her

"Love you too, see you later."

"Dad!" Marie comes running into the foyer, wearing her pajamas and her hair a mess. I guess she has just woken up. "Where you going?"

"I have to work princess." I say kneeling down in front of her. "Would you give me a goodbye kiss?"

She hugs my neck and pecks my cheek.

"Can you bring me a lollypop from Heidi's desk?" She asks shyly.

"Sure, what color?" I smile warmly at her.

"Purple."

"Of course." I chuckle. "But you have to give me another kiss then." I say seriously.

She stands on her toes and kisses me again, I give her an Eskimo kiss back on her cheek and stand up.

"Bye gorgeous." I kiss Bella one last time and the next second I'm out of home with an ear to ear smile on my face.

* * *

><p>"Good morning Heidi." I say good naturedly as I enter the clinic.<p>

"Good morning Mr. Cullen, did you have a good Christmas?"

"The best, how's my morning looking?"

"Well, your first appointment is already here… then you have 2 more before noon and another two after lunch break."

"Good, send them as they come then."

I go into the hallway and run into dad as he is coming out of his office.

"Hello son." He smiles at me.

"Hi dad, how's it going?"

"Good, your mother told me she was babysitting today?"

"Yes, Bella is doing some shopping for the twins' birthday with Alice today."

"That's great, but are they on their own?" he frowns.

I shake my head.

"I called Jasper, he didn't have to work today so he is tagging along."

"Good, have you heard anything from Tanya?"

My good humor is gone.

"No, I called chief Banner on the way here. He says she must have left the city or is hiding with someone. Either way there's still a cruiser watching over the house."

"And how are you feeling about everything?" He asks with a worried expression.

"Honestly, I haven't given it much thought lately… it's easy to get distracted with all the holidays and with the kids so happy… but I'm a little paranoid at nights…" Sometimes during the night I do wake up with the feeling that someone is watching and make a thoroughly check around the house with Sam.

"You are not being paranoid after all she has done its understandable… and changing the subject a little bit have you decided on a date for the wedding."

An involuntary smile lightens my face, and like that my good humor is back.

"We are thinking about April, we haven't settled on the day yet… anyways I think that's also another reason why Bella and Alice are getting together today."

"I'm happy for you" He slaps my shoulder "finally things are turning to the way they are supposed to…"

"Yes, well…" things suddenly become awkward again "I gotta go, my patient is here."

"Sure, see you later Edward."

I go into my office then.

I walk around my desk and sat on my chair, I take Bella's Christmas gift out from my suitcase, placing the portrait on my desk next to the other pictures. I stare at them happily, proud of what I have now. Call me a sap but every time I think about them I can't but be grateful of what I have no matter the circumstances and how everything happened it was worth it. All the pain, the waiting and the frustration was worth it. They were the most precious thing in my world and if something were to happen to them I wouldn't survive it. I don't know what I did to deserve so much happiness, I can only think that after four years of suffering now things were finally balancing and life was giving me back all the happiness I lost. There's a soft knock on my door, and I stand from my desk and go to receive my first patient of the day with a wide true smile on my face. No more masks, no more pretending.

Life couldn't get any better.

* * *

><p>"Hello Sunshine!"<p>

I shot my head upwards as Bella barges into my office as she fucking owns it.

Just like all those years ago.

"Hey!" I drop whatever I was doing and open my arms to her as she rounds the desk to sit on my lap "What are you doing here?" I ask thrilled at her unexpected visit.

"First kiss me." I do "and I'm here cause I brought you lunch." She holds up a plastic bag with two tupperwares.

"Fucking A!" I take the bag from her "I take it you are having lunch with me then?"

"Of course." She helps me setting everything on my desk "How's your day?"

"Fine, kinda boring though… what about you?"

I open the Tupperware, my mouth watering at the sight of what looks like the best turkey sandwich ever. Bella has the same, only hers has mashed potatoes on the side.

We start eating as she tells me about her day, and I remain quiet most of the time listening to her happily.

"Alice and I went downtown to a few shops, your sister is crazy by the way… she wanted me to install a trampoline inside the house for the party." She shakes her head.

"I want to blame the hormones, but I have to admit she has crazy ideas most of the time." I answer taking my tupperware and diving into my food.

"I was talking to Alice about dates she says March is too soon?"

"March? I thought you said April?" I take another bite from my sandwich.

"Aprilish? Marchish? Does it matter?"

I chuckle.

"Baby, pick out whatever date you want I told you if it were for me we'd be right now at the city hall."

She smiles warmly at me.

"So, March?"

"March is perfect." I kiss her nose. "May I ask why the sudden rush? I've been begging you to marry me for quite some time now, why the sudden wedding fever?"

She shrugs avoiding my gaze.

"Why postpone the inevitable?"

"You are a terrible liar pretty girl, what's going on?" I poke her sides and she bits her lip to hide her grin.

"Nothing."

"C'mon, tell me I know that smile."

…

…

…

"I tell you when you get home." She concedes.

"Why can't you tell me now?"

"I can, but I won't… I have a surprise for you." She wiggles her eyebrows at me.

"You do?" I beam at her.

"Yup, I have something in the oven."

"Really? Are you making cheesecake for tonight?"

Her eyes are bright with amusement.

"Sure honey," She laughs "hopefully I'm making just one this time."

I frown not getting her joke.

"Well, feel free to make as much as you want you know it's my favorite."

She giggles.

"You are so silly sometimes," she kisses my lips and stands up. "At what time are you coming home?"

"In about three hours… are you leaving now? You only had your mashed potatoes." I frown as she places my empty box and hers in the bag.

"Yes, I didn't like it that much and I have to pick up the kids."

"Are you on your own? Where are Alice and Jasper?" I say not liking her being around the city alone.

"We will be fine it's not long between the house and your parents."

"Be careful, and text me when you get home."

"Sure," she leans down "love you." She kisses my cheek.

"Love you too." I kiss her lips "See you in a while… be careful." She rolls her eyes at me but kisses me again.

"Always."

* * *

><p>"Dr. Cullen, you have a visit." Heidi says over the intercom.<p>

"Who is it?"

"A Mrs. Dwyer."

I stiffen.

What the hell?

Fuck.

"Let her in."

I stand up from my chair nervously, what the hell does she want?

I have no time to think about it as a second later there is a soft knock on the door. I take a deep breath and walk slowly towards the door.

Damn it.

I open the door and there she stands.

"Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes?" I say a little coldly.

I might not be anyone to judge, but I can't look at this woman and not see a slightly older version of Marie crying alone by herself because her mother rejected her.

"Can I talk to you?"

…

…

…

"Sure." I mutter stepping aside and letting her pass.

She walks into my office, and looks around until her eyes land on a picture of the twins on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"May I ask why you are here?" I ask not liking where I sense this is going.

"By your tone I can tell you know who I am." She states still looking at the picture but I don't answer back right away. Honestly I don't know what to say to her, much less have a clue about her intentions.

"How did you know where I worked?"

"I called Tyler." She finally looks up and I am once more taken aback by her eyes. They are all Bella. "Of course, he doesn't know why… I told him I met you and… I just got it out of him."

"What do you want? Why are you here?" I say a little exasperated, if Bella had still been here when she arrived…

"I need your help."

I scoff.

Is she serious?

"What?" I ask incredulous.

She starts walking around my office again, looking at all the pictures and drawings from the kids on the walls that I hang here proudly.

"You must think I'm a heartless woman… but, may I ask you something?" She turns back at me, her eyes glistening with tears. "Have you ever done something… when you weren't yourself… but somehow you are still to blame only to regret it the very next day?"

…

…

…

"You talked to Tyler." I deadpanned.

"Yes, he only told me the basics… he didn't have to say much… I know what happened that's why I'm coming to you…"

"What do you want?" I ask again losing my patience.

…

…

"I want my daughter."

"And why on earth would I help you?"

"Because you might understand… I-I was overwhelmed, I was immature and stupid, I regretted leaving the very next day but the damage was already done," Her tears start fall freely down her cheeks "I couldn't come back… I couldn't take my words back… but the truth is… I never forgot about her… I never hated her, I was angry at myself for what I had done to Charlie and my life that I took it out on her. But the truth is I love my daughter."

I snap at that.

"I'm sorry, but your situation and mine are entirely different…" I say angrily "you willingly abandoned your daughter, you called her names you told her you hated her." I glare.

How can this woman say she loves her after what she did?

"You never did anything to win her back and even now you are asking _me _to help you… where were you when she needed you? She is still so damaged because of what you did to her, you didn't even try to find her… you just ran into her so don't come here telling me you are really sorry or that you really love her because I can't believe you."

"Edward, please understand… I was so young, I was afraid… I had lost everything I had dreamed of I couldn't see what I had in front of me."

"I can't understand! You say you know our story? Bella was just one year older than you when she had the twins. _Twins! _And she was on her own! She took care of them, loved them even after what happened, even with her heartache and issues she never abandoned them! She did what a mother was supposed to!"

"You don't understand… I-"

"Exactly, I don't understand, I can't understand how a mother can leave her child like that… fuck, you threw her against a bookshelf when she begged you to stay!" She winces "I'm sorry, but I won't help you. If you really want to talk to her -which I doubt she'll agree to- you'll have to find a way on your own."

Is she seriously asking for my help?! She is the reason of Bella's insecurities and issues, insecurities and issues I've been trying to help her overcome for so long. I can't believe this woman, I can't believe she has the nerve to say she loves her daughter after what she did.

"Please, try to understand… I was ashamed of what I did… I couldn't come back."

"You seriously think a six year old wouldn't take her mom back? I have a daughter, her mommy is her world and she can do no wrong."

"Please… ju-just please help me."

"Why would I?"

"Don't you believe in second chances?"

"I do, but you don't deserve her and if you really love her then I suggest you to stay away. You have caused her enough damage already, you scarred her for life and I know she doesn't want anything to do with you. She has finally come to terms with everything, I don't want to ever see her suffer again… she is finally happy. If you really love her then please don't ruin that just to appease your guilt."

"You are so harsh." She cries.

"I protect what I love, I've seen her cry, suffer and in pain… I won't have her go through that again. I won't prohibit you to come near her because that's not my place but I'm asking you, if you really love her leave her alone. She has gone through so much already and if I see her cry once more because of you then I'll interfere."

…

…

…

"I understand… just think about it… I can see you love your kids… if you made a mistake and lost them, would that mean you don't love them?"

"I made a mistake and lost them, when Bella walked out I looked for her… and because I loved her I fought for her, when I found her and found out about them I fought harder… because I loved them the minute I saw them. You let more than twenty years pass by… where were you all this time?"

A violent sob breaks through her.

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry won't cover it you did her a lot of damage now I'm afraid I'll ask you to go." I say going to open the door for her.

She opens her purse and produces a card, placing it on top of my desk.

"Here is my number… if you change your mind…"

I don't look at her as she walks out of the office.

When I close the door I throw myself on my couch rubbing my temples with my fingers as I let out a sigh.

God, I can't believe what just happened.

I know is not my place, but damn… how dare she comes to look for her after all this years? She broke Bella, she is the reason for Bella's insecurities and fears. I don't want her to go through that again. I'll tell her about Rene being here because we promised to tell us everything but fuck me if I'm letting this woman mess with Bella again.

The phone on my desk rings and I stand up to answer it.

"Yes Heidi?"

"Dr. Cullen Mrs. Lou called she can't make it so she cancelled her appointment for Lilly. You are free for today."

"Thanks Heidi." I sigh in relief.

I would have had a hard time concentrating, right now… I can only think about how I'm going to approach the subject to Bella. I don't know what to expect from her reaction, hopefully it would be as positive as the time we run into her at the supermarket.

I pull off my white coat and grab my winter wear from the back of my door, turn off the lights and go into the hallway to the reception. I say goodbye to Heidi and Garret who are there before taking a couple of lollypops from Heidi's desk and head outside.

On my way to the house, I stop on Tim Hortons and get Bella's favorite plus some timbits to go. Thinking about spoiling her a little before dropping the news, I'm really hoping she would just brush it off. We are finally at a great place I'm scared this would jeopardize all of that.

I park on the driveway next to Bella's SUV and run inside the house. I like winter but sometimes it's so damn freezing I fear my dick will fall off. I see all the snow in the porch I make a mental note to clear it later so no one would slip.

I use my key and open the door to the house, once inside I close the door thanking the warmth and taking out my heavy coat.

"Bella?" I call after her, the house is too quiet maybe the kids stayed with mom.

"In the living room!"

I smile to myself and make my way to the living room, she is on the love seat, glasses on, a book on her hands and a quilt on her lap. Oh, and there is a cup of tea next to her on the coffee table.

"Hey grandma!" I tease and she stuck her tongue out at me.

I chuckle as I sit on the edge of the couch to kiss her hello.

"Where are the kids?"

"Sleepover with the pops." She takes her glasses off and puts them with her book on the floor.

"How was your day?" I lay down next to her, cuddling down her blanket.

"Pretty good, Alice and I got a lot of surprises for the kid's party."

"Really?" I ask excitedly.

"Yes, they are hidden on the basement so Andrew won't steal any candy."

"That's a good idea."

"I know, he has your sweet tooth."

I grin.

"Speaking of surprises you told me you had one for me." I kiss her shoulder blade, I have to admit I'm really curious about all the secrecy.

…

…

…

When she doesn't respond I look up to her. She is trying hard not to grin, biting her lip.

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yes you did, I haven't forgotten it." I nod.

…

…

"I told you…it's in the oven."

"In the oven?" I ask with eyebrows furrowed.

Weird, I can't smell anything.

"You are making cheesecake?" I ask stupidly.

She laughs.

"I don't know honey, go and see."

I stand up from the couch, cause I'm really in the mood for cheesecake. It's fucking delicious, especially if Bella made it.

Mhmm, Bella covered in strawberries.

I shake my head as I enter into the kitchen I go to stand in front in the oven and frown.

It's off.

I open the thing and see a single bun in the middle.

What the heck?

I take it and look at it scratching the back of my head confused as hell. I walk back toward the living room and see Bella still on the couch but now she is holding her phone up.

"Uhm, honey?"

"Yeees?" She smiles widely.

"Is this a bun?"

"Aha…"

…

…

…

"There's a bun in the oven." I explain.

Where is my cheesecake?!

"Yes, there is a bun in the oven."

"I don't get it, why is there a bun in the oven?" I frown. "And… are you recording me?" Her smile is so wide it's a little distracting.

"Yes I am, and I don't know… you tell me… why is there _a bun in the oven_?"

What? Why is she recording me?

And what the heck is doing a bun in the oven?

…

…

…

"Oh god Edward think faster!" She says exasperatedly.

…

…

…

Then it hits me.

And I froze.

"Wha-whe… huh?" I say stupidly.

…

…

…

"HOLLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!" My hands fly to my hair, the bun flying across the room when it finally settles.

Bella jumps from the couch and I catch her midair. She wraps her legs around my waist and I'm still having and out of here moment to make sense of what she is saying. Although she is crying so I don't know if she makes sense to herself either.

A second later I'm kissing the shit out of her.

"You are pregnant?" I choke between kisses and she nods frantically.

"You are going to be a daddy." She cries.

"Really?"

"Yes, you'll get to wake up at least four times during the night, you'll get the mess, the crying and babbling…" She chokes "but you'll also get the firsts and the wonders this time…"

I cup her cheeks and kiss her soundly before placing my forehead against hers.

"Does this mean I have to stock a cabinet full of pop-tarts too?"

She laughs as more tears fall down her cheeks.

"Strawberry" She says sternly. "And I wouldn't mind if you add a few boxes of instant mashed potatoes too."

I wrinkle my nose.

"Strawberry and mashed potatoes it is."

* * *

><p><strong>Awwwww look at that! More Ginger smurfs are on the way! Tanya's been too quiet don't you think? What do you want the baby to be, boy or girl? Boy twins or girl twins? Let me know! I'll actually let you decide cause I have no idea!<strong>

**Sweet Little Angel updated a couple days ago, thank you sooo much for the response that one is having! I can't believe some of you are liking it even more than OMC! I'm flattered!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	37. Chapter 37: Making Memories Of Us

**I'M SOOOO SORRY FOR THE HORRENDOUS DELAY! But I'm on finals and between that and work and also RL happening to my beta it took a little. But the good news is the next chapter is almost done and I'll try to post this week!**

**I loved all your requests for the baby! Most of you asked for twins so Edward would have the experience, others wanted a girl so Marie would have her sister and others wanted a boy so Marie would be Edward's only little princess. My favorite was Flysax's reques for twin boys because there just weren't enough Edwards on the world!**

**Anyway, after reading your request I finally made up my mind, and you'll find out next chapter!**

**Special thanks to my beta Cattinson and awesome prereader Lisopera!**

**SM own everything BUT my beautiful ginger smurfs!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 37: Making Memories Of Us<p>

"**Making Memories Of Us" – Keith Urban**

I'm gonna be here for you baby  
>I'll be a man of my word<br>Speak the language in a  
>voice that you have never heard<p>

I wanna sleep with you forever  
>And I wanna die in your arms<br>In a cabin by a meadow where  
>the wild bees swarm<p>

And I'm gonna love you  
>Like nobody loves you<br>And I'll earn your trust  
>Making memories of us<p>

I'm tracing my fingers around her flat bare stomach as she lies naked next to me, marveling at the wonderful creature growing up inside of her. I lean down and give her a tender kiss on her navel as she massages my scalp.

"Hi baby." I whisper softly against her stomach.

"Hi." Bella giggles.

"I wasn't talking to you." I tease looking up and crawling my way back to lie next to her. I grab her face between my hands and kiss her soundly.

We are having a baby.

It's almost dinner time, after Bella had told me the news we had immediately run upstairs and shut the world outside. The kids were spending the night at my parents' house so we had all the time for us. We had just made love for the second time this afternoon and were just relaxing and surrounded with bliss.

"How did it happen?" I ask breaking the kiss and she snorts.

"How?" She arches an eyebrow suggestively.

I shake my head.

"You know what I mean… I thought you said you were on the pill the other day so I assumed you got your period."

"You assumed, and I never said I was on the pill… actually it was then when we were on the shower when you brought it up that I realized I never had it… I sneaked out to the pharmacy when you were getting the kids ready for your parents' house and I took a test."

"Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because I wanted to wait and take another test, to make sure it wasn't a false positive."

"Is this why you wanted a March wedding then?" I play with a few strands of her hair.

She nods.

"It's not just because I don't want to look fat or anything, is more because I know we will be with our hands full in a few months and I want to enjoy every single step of this with you without worrying about wedding preparations and stuff." She shrugged "And if we wait for after the birth I'm afraid we will be too occupied and it will only drag on."

"I agree with you…" I kiss her again "so March it is?"

"Yes," she smiles brightly "Alice and I were looking for places… winter will be almost over but still cold outside so we thought about The Palais Royale, the ballroom has this beautiful view of the bay and it can accommodate to a small wedding… Alice called while we were out shopping for the kids' birthday and there is an opening for the 15th."

"The 15th is good… and I love the place, I think is perfect too."

"Thank you." She pulled me for another kiss. "I can't wait to marry you."

"I can't wait to marry you either… Mrs. Cullen."

She beamed at me as a tear fell down the corner of her eye.

"I can't believe how lucky I am…" I say as I leave a trail of kisses along her jaw "I have you, our kids… another little one on its way…" I touch her stomach again "I've never been this happy, I don't know how life can get better than this."

"I know."

"When do you think we should tell the others?"

"I want to wait… a few more weeks, I mustn't be too far so I guess it's better if we keep this to ourselves in case something happens." She frowns.

"It won't." I kiss her forehead "I'll take care of you but I get your point, my guess is it happened the night I found you at my house?" She nods "If we count the two weeks prior to the conception you must only be six weeks."

"Yes, I was thinking of not telling the kids at least until I'm three months, same for the others."

I can barely contain my joy, I don't know how I'm going to do that but I agreed no less.

"Alright, it'll be our little secret." I smile at her. "Now, get up."

"What?" She frowned.

"Get up," I say standing up from the bed "I'm taking you out tonight."

"Why?" She asks confusedly – sitting on the mattress- but I see the excitement in her eyes.

"It just occurred to me that since we got back together –aside from the Gala- we haven't been out on a real date, I want to rectify that. Besides the kids are spending the night with my parents, what better chance to go out just the two of us?"

"Alright," she stood on her knees on the mattress and pulled me towards her "I like the idea, so…" She circles her arms around my neck and pecks my lips "where are you taking me?"

"You'll see."

"What should I wear?"

I thought about it.

"What about the blue dress Alice got you for Christmas?" She smiled "Good, now go and get ready I have to make a call."

"Canoe?" She asks with a bright smile.

The same place we had our first date, I thought it was fitting as it was also our first real date in years.

"Where else?" I say opening the door on my side. "You look beautiful by the way."

She blushes and loosens her seatbelt as the valet opens the door for her. The other valet gives me the ticket and I go around the car and rush her into the building, not wanting her to catch anything. We walk into the lobby of the TD bank and take the nearest elevator to the top floor.

"You remember the last time we were here?" She smiles up at me.

"My birthday." I laugh, that had been the time we had gotten into a serious fight because a waitress had given me her number, and then Bella had tortured me walking in black lingerie all around the house without speaking to me.

"God, I was a mess that day… I had gone from angry to crying and horny in less than two minutes. But in my defense I was pregnant and a mess."

I chuckle as the elevator opens and we walk towards the host.

"And here you are pregnant again, should I request a male waiter? Just in case you feel like ripping someone's head off."

She sneered at me playfully.

"Very funny."

"Good evening Sir, madame…" The host greeted us "Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes, a table for two."

"Name?"

"Cullen."

"Alright, let me take your coats and please follow me." He said politely.

After leaving our coats on the front desk, the host took us to a table next to the back window, it was dark outside and light snowflakes fell from the sky as the city glowed in the dark, it was breathtaking.

"Your waiter will be here shortly, may I offer you something to drink meanwhile?"

"You want anything baby?"

"Mhmmm," she scanned the drinks menu "can I have an iced tea please?"

"Of course ma'am, and for you sir?"

"Same here."

"You want anything for starters?" He smiled politely at us.

"Is the lobster ok with you?" Bella asked me looking at the menu and I nod.

"Yarmouth Lobster it is, alright, I'll be back in a moment with your drinks."

The host left and I took Bella's left hand over the table and passed my thumb over her ring.

"You can drink, I don't mind." She tells me but I shake my head.

"I'm fine, plus I'm driving and with such precious cargo I better not risk it."

She giggled.

"What do you want such precious cargo to be?"

I shrugged.

"We already have one of each so I don't have any preference. You?"

"Me too, as long as it is healthy I don't mind. I'm sure Marie will have a preference though."

"It's ok, if it's a boy we can try for a girl later." I say liking the idea a lot but her eyes widen a little.

"Four kids? God, how many do you want?"

I shrug again.

"I don't know, I was Ok with two but I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't want more, you knew that already. As for how many, I don't know… as many as you'd be willing to give me."

"If it were for me I'd be happy with a soccer team, but I'm more worried about my weewee, I'm not a bunny you know?"

I laughed out loud.

The waiter arrived with our drinks and introduced herself as Amy, and then she proceeded to take our order.

I motion Bella to go first.

"Mhhh..." She scans the menu "I'll have the Alberta Lamb, but instead of the butterball potatoes can I switch it for mashed potatoes with grums?"

I smile knowingly at her and she rolls her eyes to me.

"Of course ma'am, and for you sir?"

"The rib eye, but can you change my potatoes for mashed ones as well?"

"Sure, anything else?"

I look at Bella and she shakes her head, her eyes twinkling.

"No, that'll be all thanks."

When the waitress is gone she speaks again.

"Are you planning on sharing some with me?"

"That depends, what are you wearing underneath that little blue dress?"

She smirks before taking a sip of her tea.

"Nothing at all."

I choke on my drink.

"Really?" I say with my voice full of lust.

"It's a tight dress you know?"

"Ugh, Bella…" I say feeling my pants a little tighter.

"What?" she says innocently.

I'm about to reply something, but the waiter arrived with the entrée placing it in the middle of the table.

"This looks delicious." She says as she takes a bite and moans, not helping with my problem. So I silently grab my fork and take a bite too.

We eat quietly for a minute, I'm thinking about if it would be to obvious if we both disappeared into the bathroom… or the elevator for a few minutes until Bella brings up another subject.

"Is Lee working tomorrow?"

"Yes, why?"

"We need an OB/GYN, are you ok with it being him?"

I shrug.

"He is good, as long as you are comfortable with him I have no problem. Who was your doctor with the twins?"

"Well, you know your dad monitored me but my main doctor was Dr. Sheppard, she is a friend of Carlisle's from Ottawa, do you know her?"

"I don't think so, but I trust Lee so I'm ok with him too. Should I use my influences and make an appointment for you for tomorrow?" I say excitedly.

I don't know what she sees in my face but tears break through her eyes as she nods frantically, I move my chair next to her and wrap my arms around her as she hides her face in my shoulder.

"I'll never forgive myself for taking this from you the first time." He voice trembles.

I pull away and kiss her tears away.

"Shh… it's Ok, you are here now."

"I'm so sorry."

"I forgave you a long time ago… now, let's not think about that anymore and look for the future."

"I'd love that." She grabs my face between her hands and pecks my lips as I dry the rest of her tears with her napkin.

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful night, so after dinner we drove down Bay Street until we reached Harbour Front were we parked to take a stroll along the pier. It was covered with a fine layer of snow from this evening, but the sky was clear and you could see the stars much like night at the Gala. There were a few passer bys, and the front's streetlamps were adorned in twinkle lights and holiday's stuff. A man played the guitar and sang in the distance breaking the silence of the otherwise peaceful night. I kept my right arm around Bella's shoulder trying to keep her warm as we came to a stop and I caged her against the banister of the pier and kissed her.<p>

"Thanks for tonight I've missed doing this with you." She whispered "I mean, I love any minute with you and the kids but… we needed a night out alone."

"I know," I tipped my head down to kiss her "I promise we'll do this more often."

I placed a lock of hair behind her ear and stared at her beautiful brown eyes.

"Would you tell me what's been worrying you all night now?"

I snorted.

"How did you know?"

"You are wearing your worry face again." She pressed her thumb between my eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes at her but nuzzled her cheek making her giggle.

"Don't sidetrack me," She grabbed my face making me look at her "what is it, is it about Tanya?" she tried to keep calm but I saw the panic behind her eyes so I reassured her immediately.

"No, no… it's not about Tanya."

"Then what is it?"

I sighed.

"I was going to tell you today when I got home, but you told me about the baby you were so happy and excited I didn't want to ruin the mood, same for tonight. I was going to tell you later tonight when we got home."

"Just tell me now Edward, I'm fine."

I sighed.

"Rene came to the clinic today."

Her eyes went wide with shock.

"What? Why? How did she find you?"

"Tyler," I explained "She wanted to talk to me."

"What did she possibly want to talk to you about?" She said a little angry. "Did she ask you for money or something?"

"God no! No, she didn't ask for that… she wanted to talk about you."

"What about me?" She crossed her arms pulling away a little.

"Calm down baby, it's Ok…" I soothed her arms.

"What did she want?" She pressed.

"She said she wanted you, that she was sorry for leaving and wanted my help."

Her eyes clouded with pain, shit this is what I wanted to avoid for her.

"What did you say?" She asked with her voice full of hurt. I kissed her forehead and looked back at her.

"That I wasn't going to help her, that it was up to you if you wanted to talk to her which I doubted it. We got into a fight about it, so she left me a card with her phone number after I asked her to leave."

"Throw it away you are right I don't want to talk to her."

"Whatever you want to do I'll support you."

"Thanks." She gave me a sad smile. "What else did she say?"

I shrugged.

"The same old story, that she regretted leaving but was afraid to come back."

She scoffed.

"Sure, that's why she married that other guy in Vegas the minute Charlie signed the divorce papers."

"I'm sorry baby."

"Don't be I'm not going to give her a second thought, she had more than twenty years but never initiated any kind of contact. Not a card on my birthday, much less a phone call. I can't believe her cynicism, I'm done with her."

I sighed in relief as she said that, much more now that I knew her state. I didn't want anything to stress her unnecessarily, I just wanted her to be happy and if Rene was lying I didn't want her to be disappointed. She had cried enough, she deserved to enjoy this new phase of our lives.

"Good, now let's go back home. I think is going to snow again and I want to see what's under that dress."

And like that, her good humor was back.

* * *

><p><em>She is on top of me, riding me with force and determination. It feels so good and I watch with lust as her breasts bounce up and down with her rapid movements.<em>

"_Bella." I grunt. _

_I'm close… so close._

_She leans down kissing me hard and I grab her hips as mines trust upwards meeting her movements._

_She leans back again our breaths are hard and labored as she increases the pace._

_I look up to her, wanting to see those gorgeous eyes of hers as I feel her walls contract. They are beautiful, full of lust and desire but then she smiles. And it's not her smile, it's wicked… malicious. Her eyes are not brown anymore they are an iced blue color that send shivers down my spine._

I woke up with a start, my heart going a miles per hour and drenched in sweat. I look around me frantically, until my eyes land on the sleeping form next to me and I take in a deep breath to calm myself.

Just a nightmare.

I stand up from the bed pull on my boxers that were lying on the floor and go into the bathroom to wash my face, it's five already but still a little too early to start my day. After drying my face I look at myself in the mirror.

She's been too silent, and I don't like that.

I go downstairs doing my usual routine scanning the house just in case. I check the cameras from the monitors in the study on the first floor before checking the second floor. We really step up a notch with security around the house, especially since Banner retired one of the cruisers that were watching over the house leaving us with just one. They are still looking for her but they don't think she'll come to the house, it would be too obvious and she knows we are being watched over.

After I check on the first floor again, I take Sam and bring him with me back upstairs. He immediately goes for Marie's room and jumps on her bed. I guess he missed her.

I go back into our room and lay back next to Bella, wrapping my arms around her and drawing her to me. She hums in her sleep and rolls to her other side burying her face in my neck.

"Found any crazy chicks?" She teases half asleep and I chuckle quietly.

"You are safe," I kiss her hair "go back to sleep."

"Me not want to." She quoted Andrew making me smile. She opens her eyes slowly and stares at mine. "Are you Ok?" She plays with my hair behind my ear.

"Just a nightmare." I brushed it off.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head.

"It was more like a bad memory. Go back to sleep."

She looked at me sadly, probably having an idea of it.

She lifted her head and pulled my face to hers, giving me a tender kiss. It started slow, soft and full of love, then I felt her hitch her leg over my waist.

"I love you." She whispers against my lips. "Stop worrying…"

"You are my life," I place my hand on her belly "I never thought you'd be more precious to me, I'm afraid of losing you again."

"That'll never happen, I'll rather die than stay away from you."

I grab her face and give her a hard kiss.

"Don't say that."

"Then stop worrying and make love to me."

I kissed her again as my hands roamed down her body, feeling her soft skin on my fingers. She made a move to turn me on my back and straddle me, but I caught her hips and turned her on her back instead. She frowned at me but as soon as my lips were on her again the frown was gone. I pressed my groin against her apex and a little moan escaped her lips.

I lowered my right hand and rubbed my fingers along her entrance, her breathing and the wetness gathered there told me she was ready. I aligned my body against hers and slowly entered her.

As always, the rollercoaster of sensations hit me. It never get old, the feeling of completeness and that sensation that everything was right in the world whenever I was with her.

I started to move in and out of her slowly, our moans and breathes the only sound in the room. My mouth found her breasts, and she pulled at my hair as I sucked on her nipples. Then I continued my journey upwards, kissing her neck, her shoulder, her jaw until I reached her mouth again.

"I love you, my only girl." I breathed.

"Only yours… God, you feel so good."

A few minutes later, we finally let go. I fell on top of her, panting and breathing hard, still overcome with my orgasm. I turned on my side and I felt her snuggle next to me, I turned to her devouring her mouth with a long passionate and needy kiss.

"Edward, are you Ok?"

She stopped the kiss, taking a hold of my face to look into my eyes. I closed them and rested my forehead on hers.

"I'm sorry… I'm just worried."

She lifted my face making me look at her again.

"I'm here," She kissed my chest above my heart "We are Ok... shhh… I love you."

"I can't lose you Bella I'd go mad if something happened to you."

"Hey," She took my hand kissing it before placing it on her cheek. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Promise?"

"I promise… now, do you want to talk about your nightmare?"

I sighed.

"It was more like a memory about that night," I started "You were there… then you weren't and… she was there instead of you, it was a little unsettling."

"I can imagine." She kissed my wrist. "I'm sorry pretty boy, is there something I can do?"

I smiled at here.

"Your presence is enough."

She returned my smile.

"Good, now let's go back to sleep we have a long day ahead of us."

I kissed her one last time and closed my eyes, her warmth and presence sending a wave of peace around me. Suddenly, everything was better.

* * *

><p>"Honey, can you pass me the juice please?"<p>

I handed Bella the jug of OJ as I swallowed my pancakes. She had done this great feast for breakfast I thought I was about to explode. She had done eggs, pancakes, bagels, toast, fruit and yogurt. She said she couldn't figure it out what to eat so she made a little bit of everything.

"Did you talk to Lee?" she asked as she poured herself her juice.

"No, but I talked to Heidi she said he has an opening at noon. Does that work for you?"

"Yes, that's good we can have lunch together afterwards."

"That's what I was thinking about."

"Did you tell Heidi not to mention anything to your dad? I don't want anyone to know yet."

"Yes, don't worry about it. Now, I better go or I'll be late."

I stood up and took my dishes to the sink, and then I went upstairs to brush my teeth. When I was done and ready to go I walked into the foyer where she was waiting for me to see me go. I put on my coat and opened the door.

"Bye beautiful," I kissed her forehead and leaned down to kiss her stomach "Bye nugget."

Bella giggled placing her hand on her stomach.

"Ok, go! I'm freezing!"

"Sorry." I chuckled kissing her one more time before turning around and starting with my day.

* * *

><p>A knock on my door distracts me from my book, I look up to see Jasper poking his head.<p>

"Hey man, are you busy?"

"Hey! No, come in. What are you doing here?"

"Alice had a check up with Lee she is talking to your dad now so I thought about paying you a visit." He says sitting on the chair in front of my desk.

"How is she?"

"Everything is perfect." Jasper smiled "Ten toes, ten fingers. She'll be here in four weeks."

"That's awesome, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks, and how about you? How is everything going between you and Bella?"

I knew I had huge smile on my face by now.

"Everything is great I took her to canoe last night."

"Nice, what was the occasion?"

I tried not to grin wider.

"Nothing in particular, Bella's been cooking a lot in the oven so I thought about giving her a break."

Jasper's eyes went wide.

"She is pregnant?!"

What the hell?!

"Wha-? Why? How did you figure it out so fast?!"

He threw me a _duh _look.

"You weren't to smooth per see… but wow, so she _is _pregnant? That's awesome!"

"Shit, she is going to kill me." Fuck "Don't say anything, we wanted to wait a little, she is only a few weeks along and you know how these things are."

"Yes, of course… but wow! Congratulations man!" He grinned.

"Thanks." I said letting out a sigh of relieve, I was dying to share the news with someone. I was so excited and happy I wanted to talk about it, even though it was still so surreal.

"Wow, you are going to be a dad again. You must be ecstatic."

I beamed.

"I am you have no idea. She is coming in a few minutes for the first ultrasound with Stanley."

"Then, I better drag Alice away." He said standing up "If she sees her here she is going to figure it out immediately and you know she is not the most prudent person."

"Thanks." I said walking him to the front desk where dad and Alice were chatting away, Alice showing him all the new ultrasound pictures.

"Eddie! Look, this is your niece! Isn't she beautiful?!" She shoved the pictures in front of my face.

"She is," I kissed her hello "She has your tiny nose too." I teased and she smacked me playfully.

"Be nice, oh! Did Bella tell you about the Palais Royale?" Her eyes went brighter.

"She did, I think it's perfect too."

"YEI! Ok, then we better go. I need to call her and hurry with preparations."

"Call her in about two hours I think she was meeting with her boss right now." I lied.

"Mike? Ugh, ok… I guess I'll call her after lunch. Mmhmm lunch… Jasper let's go to Mc Donald's!"

Jasper made a face but hid it quickly before Alice could notice it. Smart man. Then she took his hand and dragged him out of the clinic.

"Well that was fun." Dad smiled "I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." He turned around and walked down the hallway and as if on cue, the bell rang and I looked up to see my pretty girl walk into the clinic.

"Hi gorgeous." I beamed at her.

Shit, I'm meeting my baby. I was too excited and nervous at the same time about this, I could barely keep still jumping to one foot to the other. All day long I kept glancing at my watch waiting for noon.

"Your timing was perfect, Alice and Jasper just left."

"I know, I saw them getting into their car." She stood on her toes and kissed my cheek. "Are you ready to meet our baby?"

Damn, I felt my eyes sting.

"I think so." I smiled at her.

I took her hand and walked us to Lee's office.

"Are you nervous?" I ask her but she shakes her head.

"Not at all, I'm pretty excited… it's so different this time around, I have you with me to hold my hand." I give her hand a small squeeze and kiss her temple.

"Yes, I'll be with you in every step."

I knock on Lee's door and he tells us to come in, as soon as he sees us he gives us a wide smile.

"So it is true, I didn't read my schedule wrong."

"Hi Lee." I shake his hand.

"Hi Edward, Bella nice to see you again. Please take a seat." He motioned us to sit down. "Heidi told me you didn't want anyone to know yet, so don't worry about Carlisle finding out because of me."

"Thanks, we really appreciate it."

"So Bella, before making the ultrasound I need to ask you a few questions first Ok?"

"Alright." She said confidently.

Lee started to ask Bella the usual questions and a few about her first pregnancy. Bella told him about all the difficulties with the twins, it was hard on both of us to talk about it because of everything that happened and Lee was all professional about it by not asking inappropriate questions.

When he was done with his questioning he gave Bella a robe and asked her to change for the ultrasound, then he asked me to wait in the exam room next to his office.

I was bouncing my knee in my seat as I waited for Bella to come back and Lee laughed at me.

"Easy there, if you are this nervous about an ultrasound I can't imagine how you'd be with the birth."

I let out a strangled laugh.

"I know, I just want for everything to be Ok."

"It'll be, Bella is a healthy woman and knowing you you'll make sure she doesn't even move a finger for the next 8 months."

I laughed again as Bella finally entered the room, she blushed as I took in her attire and winked at her.

"You ready?" Lee asked and Bella nodded hopping up and laying on the gurney. As soon as she got comfortable she took my hand. Lee took the hem of the gown and lifted it upwards.

"Ok, I'm going to pour some of this gel over your belly… it might be cold."

Lee sprayed the blue gel over Bella's stomach, then took the probe and placed it over Bella's belly at the same time he pushed some buttons on the keyboard. Seconds later we heard a strange sound coming from the machine.

"Is that…" I wasn't able to finish my sentence.

Lee nodded.

"Yes, that's the heartbeat." He confirmed "It's strong…" Then Lee turned the monitor and there it was, Bella's hold on my hand tightened and I brought her fingers to my mouth. My eyes couldn't tear away from the screen, even though the only thing I was seeing was this little peanut I couldn't look away.

From my peripheral vision I saw Lee stand up and leave the room giving us a moment, and I couldn't be more grateful.

"That's our baby." I said in awe.

"The look on your face… I've never seen you this beautiful before." She said making me look down at her. I leaned down and captured her lips with mine.

"Thank you for this."

"Don't thank me, you made it too…" She cried "You think it's a boy or a girl?" She looked back at the screen.

"I don't know and I don't care, it's still beautiful. Like its mommy." I smiled at her.

"We'll see I want him or her to have your eyes again."

I snorted.

"And I want him to be a mini you so I can spoil him or her without complaining."

She rolled her eyes at me.

"I think it's a boy." She said then looking back at the monitor.

"Really?"

"Yes, I have a feeling Andrew will have his partner in crime soon."

"I'm looking forward to the challenge." I kissed her lips hard. "I have a confession to make, please don't be mad at me?"

"What did you do?" She looked amused.

"I kind of accidentally on purpose not wanting to told Jasper about the baby?" I flinched a little.

"What?!"

"He got it out of me!"

She laughed.

"It's Ok baby, I'm not mad at you. Let's hope Alice won't kill him when she finds out he knew before her and didn't tell her. _If _he is able to keep it from her long enough."

I chuckled and kissed her forehead just as Lee knocked on the door and came in.

"So, you want me to print some pictures?"

"Yes!" I said immediately.

Lee printed a couple of pictures and chuckled when I gave him a DVD so he could save the video too. When he was done, he asked me to leave the room so he could do the physical exam. I kissed Bella and told her I would be waiting for her on my office.

I walked into my office and shrugged off my doctor's coat hanging it on the back of the door, as soon as Bella was done with Lee we were going out to have lunch. I just needed to call mom and see if she could keep the twins for a couple more hours before Bella picked them up. I took my phone and dialed her number, she answered after the third ring.

"Hello?" She said a little breathless.

"Hi mom, it's Edward."

"Oh, hi sweetie! How are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you? Are you still alive?"

"Oh yes, we are all having such a great time! I took them to chuck and cheese yesterday, Liam was so excited you should have seen them all together! There was this big kid trying to steal the blocks Marie was playing with, and Andrew and Liam stepped up for her! It was so fucking cute!"

My heart melted.

"Really? Is she Ok?"

"Yes, don't worry about her she has her own personal bodyguards. I think Liam has a crush on her."

I groaned, first Jacob and now Liam?

Mom laughed at me.

"Don't be silly, they are just kids."

"That's exactly my point… agh, anyway I was calling to see if you could keep them a couple more hours, Bella and I are having lunch together."

"Of course! I was actually hopping you could come for dinner tonight and pick them up then? I can't have enough!"

"We'll see about that, I'll tell Bella and we'll call you in about an hour."

"Sure, we'll be waiting… _What was that sweetie? Yes, it's your dad… _Edward, Marie wants to speak to you."

I smiled to myself.

"Put her on the phone."

Two seconds later I heard my princess' voice.

"Daddy?"

"What's up princess?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at work, are you having fun with nana?"

"Yes! But I miss you, I want to go home."

"Aww I miss you too pretty little girl… mommy and I will pick you up after lunch, is that Ok?"

She thought for a moment.

"Okaaay," She dragged "I love you daddy."

"I love you more princess, would you send me a kiss?" Marie made a kissing sound and I laughed. "Thanks beautiful, I'll see you soon."

"Ok, hurry."

"I will, now can you put nana back on the phone?"

"Yes, _nana daddy wants to speak to you!"_

"Hello?"

"Did you hear?"

"Yes, so I guess you are not staying for dinner?"

"We can work it out, it's a slow day so I might just leave with Bella and go straight to your house and hang around until dinner."

"That's perfect! I'll call the rest, see you soon baby."

"Bye mom."

I hung up and placed my phone on my desk just as Bella entered my office.

"Everything Ok?" I asked and she smiled brightly at me.

"Everything seems fine he said we should expect him or her around August."

"Cant's wait." She sat on my lap and I nuzzled her neck. "So, Lunch?"

"Please! I'm starving."

"I was thinking about café crêpe, does that sound good to you?"

"Yes, let's go."

We stood up and I put my coat, took her hand and walked us out of the office.

When we hit the entrance I walked to Heidi's desk.

"Heidi, I'm taking off… I won't come back after lunch but if there's an emergency call me."

"Of course Dr. Cullen, have a nice day." She smiled tenderly at us.

I knew she was happy for us, the woman was like a mother to me and she loved Bella.

"Thanks, can I steal two lollipops from the bowl for the twins?"

"Of course! Purple and red, Right?"

"Yes." I chuckled as she handed them to me, then I turned around and took Bella's hand again walking us out of the clinic.

"Why aren't you coming back after lunch?"

I shrugged.

"I called mom to tell her you'd pick the kids after lunch, she invited us to dinner but Marie said she wanted to go home and missed us so I thought about hanging out at my parents' until dinner instead."

"That sounds good, should I bring something?" We stopped at the red light, waiting for the green to cross the street.

"Nah, you know mom she always goes overboard anyway."

The stop light changed so it was our turn to cross the street, just as we hit the other side of the street I groaned.

"Fuck, I left phone in my office… wait here I'll be back in a moment."

I turned around in the pavement and started to cross the street, but I hadn't even taken five steps when I heard a terrifying screeching sound suddenly having an odd sense of déjà vu. I look up to see a black Mercedes coming straight to me.

"EDWARD!" Bella screamed, but it was all too fast. I closed my eyes prepared for the impact which I felt it a second later but not from the direction I was expecting. I opened my eyes disoriented, there was a lot of yelling and screaming.

"Sir, are you Ok?" A man asked but I wasn't listening, I look around frantically until found her.

Her eyes were closed as she lay lifeless on the ground, blood pouring from a wound in her head.

"BELLA!"

* * *

><p><strong>*Goes back to hide under a rock* *Pops head from under the rock*<strong>

**Please don't kill me?**

**Good news is next chapter is almost done! When do you want it? Thursday? Friday? Sunday?**

**What did you think about Edward's nightmare? What about the date? And DAMN! Tanya run away again!**

**Two chapters and an epilogue left!**

**P.S. Besides baby Renesmee... BREAKING DAWN WAS FUCKIN AMAZING! Just came from the theater again, I've watched it three times already!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	38. Chapter 38: Holding On & Letting Go

**First of all, I'm sorry I know I've sucked with updates lately but long story short, I was in the hospital, my laptop broke and because I was moving from my old apartment t a new one I didn't have internet for a while, and to top all of that school and final projects.**

**Good news? I'M FINALLY ON HOLIDAY VACATIONS! Hopefully I'll be able to write more, I also want to end the epilogue on the 18th because it would be OMC's anniversary and... seems fitting idk.**

**Sweet Little Angel is on hold until I end OMC, cause I want to fully concentrate on the plot since it's thickening and I want to do it right for you guys. I'm really loving writing vampdaddyward.**

**OMC's sequel "You and Me" will start after the Holidays!**

**Disclaimer (or whatever is called): I'm NOT a doctor, I'm a film maker so I probably got all wrong even though I did my research. Besides I want to recreate a scene from what used to be one of my favorites shows "One Tree Hill" if you are a fan you'll probably know what we'll see next chapter ;)**

**SM owns everything!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 38: Holding On And Letting Go<p>

"**Holding On and Letting Go" – Ross Copperman**

Is anybody out there?  
>Is anybody listening?<br>Does anybody really know?  
>Is the end of the beginning<br>The cry a rush a one breath  
>Is all we waiting for<br>Sometimes I want my taking  
>Changes everyone before<p>

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't  
>It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed<br>Some prayers find an answer  
>Some prayers never know<br>We're holding on and letting go

Sometimes we're holding angels  
>And we never even know<br>Don't know if we'll make it, or we know  
>We just can't let it show<p>

"_BELLA!"_

After my heart starts again, I jump to my feet and run to kneel next to her in less than a second. My heart is pounding fast and heavy on my chest, my breathing is labored and my head spinning making me lightheaded.

"BELLA?!" Oh god "No, no no no no no! Bella!" I call her name over and over again but she doesn't react, nothing, my surroundings dissapear and I can't think in anything but that my pretty girl won't open her eyes. I try to check her pulse as I scream for someone to call 911 but my hands are trembling with the adrenaline and fear running through my veins. Tears are streaming down my cheeks and my throat is sore from yelling in the cold air. "An ambulance, please!" I cried.

"Edward?!" I hear my dad's voice over the noise I look up and see him and Heidi running towards us with terrified eyes. "Oh god, Heidi call 911 now!"

Dad kneels next to me and starts to examine her, as I clearly can't do it with my state of mind, I look up searching for the fucking black Mercedes only to realize it's gone.

"What happened?!"

"She is not responding dad! Bella?! Please, Bella can you hear me?!" I carefully pat her cheek.

"What happened?!" He asked again and I see red.

"That bitch! That fucking bitch!" I hit the ground with my fist "I'm sure it was her! She tri-ed to ru-n me o-over but Bella, damn it! She fucking pushed me away!" I cry. "WHERE IS THE FUCKING AMBULANCE?!" I holler at the people gathered around us.

Finally after the longest minute of my entire life we hear a siren in the background and two officers start pushing people away. The traffic has been stopped so there's a lot of chaos and noise from the honking.

With terrified eyes I scan her body and notice her arm is twisted in a strange way, there are cuts on the right side of her face and a big wound on her forehead covered with blood. With her coat and layers I can't tell if she is not bleeding from down there so that only takes my anxiety to a new level.

The ambulance comes to a stop next to us and two EMTs quickly jump out of the back and get into action. They take her pulse, secure her neck with a brace, give her oxygen and tie her onto a stretcher.

"Call mom, but careful not to say anything in front of the twins!" I yell at dad as I get into the ambulance.

"Yes, I'll be right behind you!" Dad turned around.

The ride to the hospital happened in a blur. As soon as we arrived Bella was ushered into the ER and I was made to wait in the fucking waiting room, I was sitting on the couch bouncing my knee when Dad arrived firing questions. By now the shock had weaned down and I was mostly numb, going over and over again over the accident scene in my mind. How didn't I see her? How long had she been there waiting for us?

"What's going on?" He asked immediately. "How's Bella?"

"I don't know," I mumbled shakily "they ushered her into the ER a while ago but no one has come out to say anything."

"I talked to the police, they are looking for her. I talked to your mom too, Rosalie was there to pick up Liam so she stayed with the kids, Esme is on her way, Emmett too."

I nod.

What did just happen?

Three hours later my whole family but Rose was here with me waiting for news. Alice was a mess so they gave her a light sedative. My mind shut off, I was still numb and staring into space not having sense of what was going on around me. A nurse had come out about half an hour ago to tell me they were moving her to the ICU and talked to me privately giving me an update. Three ribs, her right arm and leg were broken, a severe concussion and blood loss. When I asked her about the baby she said they couldn't tell yet if she had lost it, she had bled a little but that the fetus was still there, although the chances of him being dead were pretty big, they had to wait for her to come out of the ICU to take a sonogram and see if the baby was alive.

Right now, one of the biggest problems besides the concussion was the blood loss. Bella was B- so we needed donors. Mom, Jasper and Emmett were currently calling everyone we knew looking for them. So far only Gianna had her same blood type but she and Tyler were in Ottawa and had gone out last night so she had had alcohol and couldn't donate. She felt awful about it and was worried sick calling Emmett every few minutes to check on Bella.

Charlie was on his way, he booked a plane as soon as I called him with the news. He was instantly wary when he answered the phone and it was me. We hadn't spoke in four years so he immediately knew something was wrong.

As for the twins, Marie had thrown a tantrum when I spoke to her and told her she and Andrew were spending the night at Rose's. It broke my heart when she begged me to go and pick her up, that she missed us but I had told her that mommy was sick and we were with the doctor. I didn't use the word hospital as I knew she would freak out, she had wanted to talk to her and it nearly broke me when she asked for her, I had to tell her she was asleep because she wasn't feeling well.

As for me, I was desperate to see her. The nurse had told me she would come for me as soon as I was able to come into the ICU. I had used the "I'm a doctor card" but it didn't mattered, I still had to wait at least after they were done with the scans. I had a headache, mom tried to persuade me to eat something but I couldn't digest anything, I just wanted to see her, or to retreat time… preferably to 5 years ago.

I know I'm not a violent person, far from it but even I had my limits and Tanya definitely crossed them a while ago.

Because of her I'm in this situation again, because of her I might lose her and my baby for real, because of her the people I care the most are in pain and suffering… because of her Marie can't take ballet lessons, my pretty little girl can't have a normal childhood, because of her people who had nothing to do with what happened are paying. Hell, even I don't deserve all of this shit!

I hate her.

I swear she's going to pay, jail is not enough for me if I see her again I'll kill her with my own hands. What did I ever do to deserve all this?! Even if I had cheated on Bella consciously there are worse people than me and are having a perfectly happy life.

Banner came about an hour ago and asked me to go to the station as soon as I could to testify, and said they were looking for her everywhere. They had found the Mercedes near High Park and a stop light camera caught her going into the park confirming it was her. It made me sick, all those times I had spotted the Mercedes, she had been near us and I didn't put two and two together until she broke into the house which now I was sure it had been her too. I had known before but now we finally had proofs. Now she was hiding there somewhere but there were no more signs of her. That made me livid, that they still couldn't find her. He said they were going on all the cameras from the stores and stop lights around the area to see if she came out and he also had people looking for her inside the park. But High Park is huge, she could be anywhere.

"Dr. Cullen?" My whole family turned to see a man on his fifties with a white coat standing with the nurse I had spoken to earlier. "I'm Dr. Mason, I'm attending your wife."

I stood up immediately and shook his hand, ignoring the pan in my chest when he referred to her as my wife.

"It's Edward, how's Bella?"

"Can I talk to you privately?" He eyed my family and I paled, but he immediately assured me.

"She is stable, a donor came in about an hour ago so we are Ok in that area."

I sighed in relief as we walked down the hallway, but the relief was short lived when he didn't compose his expression.

"How's her head?" I asked shakily.

"She had a mild traumatic brain injury, we did a CT scan but luckily there wasn't any intracranial hemorrhage, just swelling which is being monitored for any clots. We induced her into a coma until the swelling passes, she'll wake up when she is ready."

"What…" I took a breath "what about the baby?"

He looked at me with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry Mr. Cullen, but we have to wait until she is out of the ICU to take an ultrasound… from the tests it didn't fall off but we can't tell if it's alive. We'll have to wait for the ultrasound to listen for a heartbeat. Right now we are focusing on saving her."

I felt my chest contracting, making it hard to breathe.

"Can I see her?" I begged with a hoarse voice.

He thought for a moment.

"Sure, just for a few minutes. Please follow me."

I followed Dr. Mason to a room next to the ICU, the nurse gave me a disposable scrub and I put it on quickly. When I was done tying the head she told me to follow her through another door. She opened the door for me and stepped aside letting me in.

"Just five minutes." She told me with kind eyes and I nodded.

I entered the room afraid of what I would see, and of course it didn't disappoint. I was almost on my knees the moment I saw my pretty girl connected to so many machines and tubes. She had a cast on her right leg and arm, they had cleaned the cuts on her right cheek but you could still see the dried blood over the scratches. She had a patch on her forehead where she had had it opened and no doubt where the concussion was. She also had an endotracheal tube stuck to her throat supplying oxygen.

The room was chilly and it smelled like alcohol and disinfectant, the only sounds the ones coming from the machines. I rolled a stool to seat next to her and with trembling hands took her left hand between mines and kissed her fingers one by one, they were cold and pale just like her face.

"Pretty girl…" I cried not knowing what to say and placed her hand on my cheek "Please baby… you promised you wouldn't leave me." I kiss the inside of her palm and trace my fingers along her jaw, barely touching her skin. She looked so fragile and helpless.

"Please, I need you baby, Marie and Andrew needs you…" I barely put my hand on her flat stomach thinking about her ribs "Our little peanut needs you too." I sobbed. "You promised… we were just starting." I kissed her wrist several times, needing to touch her and make sure she was still here with me.

"You promised me, you can't back down now… please baby wake up, wake up, you have to wake up soon be-because we a-are getting married remember? March 15th… y-you said you wanted a winter wedding, Alice already reserved the place so you have to be-e there… we can't cancel you have to be there an-and then, and then I'm taking you on our honey moon." My shoulders sagged with the new waves of tears.

"To the beach like you always wanted… you once told me you wanted to see a real beach…yes you did, do you remember? That night I stayed for dinner, we were in the TV room watching a movie with the kids, what do think about Cancun? Or Cabo? You can choose any place you want baby…" I nodded to myself "Wherever you want and then…" I sniffed.

"And then we are having our baby, you said it was a boy… a beautiful boy, with my eyes and your hair." I traced my fingers along a lock of her hair. "And your nose and your chin and your cheeks…" I caressed her cheek with the back of my fingers.

"Beautiful like you… We also have the twins' birthday next week you've been planning it for weeks you have to be there…" I nodded eagerly "so we can give them our presents and you can make a cake -because I can't cook to save my life-" I let out a strangle chuckle "and we can sing happy birthday together, and take pictures. Lots of pictures, we need more pictures. Creating new memories remember? More, more pictures."

"Then you have your gallery, and that beautiful painting you never finished… the one with the pregnant woman… you have to finish it baby, you are so talented you have to finish that painting… it's still at my old house, we can go and pick it up together and I'll get you new brushes and paints and I can turn the warehouse into a study… it would be perfect. You have to finish that painting baby please… please finish that painting."

I carefully rest my forehead on her stomach.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed "I'm so sorry, it should have been me."

Why the hell did she have to get in the way? She was after me not her! Didn't she think of the baby? What was she thinking?!

I lean forward and kiss her stomach.

"Please, please, please be Ok… please. Mommy and I were so excited waiting for you, please be Ok." I whispered against her stomach, my body shaking with sobs. "I promise you you'll be so loved and cherished and you'll never need anything… but please be Ok. Please be Ok, please, please, please be Ok." I begged.

I looked up to see my pretty girl's face again, even with all the cuts, gauzes and tubes she was still the most beautiful thing to me.

"You know baby, for a long time I've been having this fantasy… you wanna hear about it?" I place her palm on my cheek again and thread our fingers together.

"Before you came back I used to go to this hidden meadow in High Park to think of you… it made me think of you because it was always bright and beautiful."

I say remembering the meadow that had been my solace so many times.

"The last time I was there was the day Alice told me she saw you with a kid, I had thought you moved on and got married with someone else so I went there to think of you and of what I had done… the next day I went to Ottawa and found you."

I clear my tears with the back of my hand and kiss Bella's cold fingers again.

"See in this fantasy… we are in that same meadow, but we are not alone… I'm wearing this black tux and all our family is sitting in chairs in front an alter, and then I see Marie… our gorgeous princess walking down the aisle dressed as a beautiful flower girl with a purple dress…" I smile to myself at my silly fantasy "then comes Andrew holding a little pillow with our rings, dressed in a little tux looking like a penguin with a red mini tie" I chuckle "and finally there's you… walking straight to me with your dad by your side… you are smiling and wearing this beautiful white dress… as Marie would say looking like a princess." A new round of sobs breaks through me.

"It doesn't matter where it happens but I want that, I want to see you in a white dress, hear you say your vows and those two words I've been waiting for almost six years to hear." I cry.

"Please baby, don't do this to me. I need you, I love you. I can't live without you, I can't believe what you did for me I didn't deserved it and you shouldn't have put yourself at this risk… please be strong, for our baby and our beautiful kids. Andrew needs you so he can eat properly once in a while" I let out another strangled chuckle "and Marie needs your caresses and treats. They need you more than me, please don't you dare leave us."

I hear the door open and I quickly dry my tears.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm sorry but you need to leave the room." The nurse says softly and I turn to her.

"One minute please." I beg.

She thinks for a moment, her eyes sad.

"Okay." She says closing the door back and I turn back to Bella.

"I have to go baby, but I'll be right outside Ok? I'm here and I'm not leaving until you come with me… I love you so much. Please take care of you and our baby Ok? Be strong pretty girl, you can do it. I love you, you are my life my everything, I love you."

I stand up and kiss her forehead.

"I love you." I say again.

I turn around and step out of the room, as soon as I close the door a new wave of tears hits me hard as I recline on the wall, sliding down until I end up sitting on the floor. I rest my forehead on my knees and cry violently.

How could this happen? What had we done to deserve this? I pulled at my hair in frustration as I rested my elbows on my knees. I consider myself a good man, responsible, honest, always minding my own business, even naïve, why could this happen to me? Forget about me, how about her and the kids? Hadn't they suffered enough? Why when things were finally settling Tanya had to come out to play again?

Can't we have a fucking break? We just got back together we were just starting to be a family. I had just brought my piano and most of my stuff to our home. I was finally home.

"_I love you, more than anything that I can't imagine spending my life with someone else. A life without you would be meaningless, pointless… I can't have that, you make my life worthwhile." I swallowed, I was getting emotional and I could hear my voice shaking._

_I leaned away and saw that more tears were falling down her cheeks, a small smile playing on her luscious lips, her gorgeous eyes full of emotion._

"_I always knew that some part of me was missing, and I used to think that that part went missing when Andrew left but, when I met you… I knew it was only you who was meant to fill that part. You are my soul mate, my other half, my everything… Bella, I honestly wouldn't know how to live without you…"_

_I sat up with her straddling me my waist, I placed a lock of her hair behind her ear and gave her a meaningful kiss. When we parted she looked at me curiously, sensing than something was up and I pulled the box out of my sweater pocket. She gasped and brought her hand to her mouth, her beautiful eyes wide in shock._

"_My pretty girl… please… would you make me the extraordinary honor to marry me?"_

_I opened the little box and presented her the ring. The band was made of white gold, with tiny diamonds around it and on the top, a bigger diamond rested along with two smaller sapphires on each side. It was beautiful, just like her._

_She was quiet, stunned by the ring and my sudden proposal._

"_Bella?" I asked nervously._

"_Oh my god" she whispered. "Are you serious?" She asked not taking her eyes from the ring._

"_I've never been more serious pretty girl." I whispered and she looked up to me._

_She was quiet for another endless minute._

"_Yes." She suddenly said._

"_Yes?" I asked incredulous, my heart racing and threatening to come out of my chest._

"_Yes, I'll marry you pretty boy."_

When I'm as calm and in control of myself as I'll ever be, I decide to go back to the waiting room to face my family. So I stand up and drag my ass back out of the ICU area and walk down the hallway to the waiting room, I turn the last corner and stop on my tracks as soon as I look up.

Standing in front of my pissed looking dad is Eleazar Denali wearing this pleading expression that instantly makes me livid, so I finally lose my shit.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I spat glaring at him.

He turns to me with wide eyes, as I stalk towards them.

"Hi Edward, I'm sorry… I-I heard what happened, I'm here to apologize f-"

I let out a strangled laugh, probably looking like a maniac.

"Your apology is useless and unnecessary, now get the hell out of here your presence is inappropriate."

"I'm really sorry Edward we didn't know how serious Tanya's case was… I promise you as soon as we find her we are taking her to a specialist. That's the other reason I'm here, I wanted to talk to you and beg you if necessary to please not press cha-"

My fist connected with his jaw before he could even finish that sentence.

"Edward!" Mom screamed but I ignored her.

"Get the fuck out of here!" I yelled at a wide eyed looking Eleazar.

"Edward," He rubbed his jaw "please try to understand… Tan-"

"Don't you even mention her name in my presence!"

From the corner of my eye I see a guard walk in from the staircase with a nurse.

"Edward, she needs help I promise she'll get better with time."

I tried to keep my voice lowered, but of course I failed.

"You said the exact same thing eight years ago when she tried to kill me the first time, you'd be lucky if the police get to her before I do and throw her behind bars because if I see her first I swear to god I'll kill her myself!"

"Edward, calm down don't be overdramatic."

"Overdramatic?! BELLA'S PREGNANT YOU IDIOT!" I hear a gasp from behind me "How can you ask me to be rational! Her body is half shattered and she hit her head against the hard concrete! Both of them might die because of your selfish crazy ass daughter so excuse me if I feel like ripping her head off right at this moment!"

"Bella is pregnant?" Mom whimpers with wide eyes and I close my eyes.

Fuck me.

"Yes." I say mid sob as I let my self fall on the couch "That's why she came to clinic this morning," I start to feel lightheaded again so I cover my face with my hands feeling exhausted and drained "she had the first ultrasound today with Lee." I cry.

"What did the doctor say about it?" Dad asked, he looked like he had just aged ten years.

"They don't know if he's still alive, we have to wait till she is out of ICU to run an ultrasound."

"Oh god." Mom cried sitting next to me and involving me in a tight hug. "I'm so sorry honey."

"It's not your fault," I look up to see Eleazar again "Your daughter went mad when my brother died and you let it pass, for years she struggled seeing this ghost and don't tell me you didn't notice something was wrong with her, Irina knew about the abortion and she didn't do shit either, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with your family but if something happens to Bella or my baby I won't rest until she burns in hell understood?" I glared.

"Edward, I'll talk to you when you are calm. We are really sorry about this, I swear I-"

I was on my feet again.

"She raped me! Took morbid photos about it and sent them to Bella! She almost lost the twins because of it! Marie has just one good lung because of her, I missed the first three years of my kids' lives, she sent rats and broke into our house with a gun, a freaking gun! Ran over my pregnant fiancé, aborted my nephew and tried to kill me twice! Am I really overreacting? You seriously expect me to not press charges and let her go when she has been harassing me and ruining my life for the past eight years?! Just because I happen to look like my dead brother?!" I yelled incredulously, my body shaking with fury.

God, my life sounded like a bad fucking soap opera.

Eleazar looked down, ashamed of all his daughter had done. If the circumstances were different I would have pitied him. But I also knew the ulterior motive, I knew Carmen sent him. She hated scandals and lived for the society a crazy addict of a daughter behind bars would harm her reputation. That's why she neglected her in the first place, she never accepted her daughter's addiction and preferred to ignore her and pretend she didn't exist instead of facing the problem or accepting that she failed as a mother.

"Sir," the guard came forward "This is a hospital please keep it down, do you want me to escort this gentleman outside?"

"Please." I said throwing myself on the couch again.

"Sir, come with me please."

After the guard left with Eleazar, my family started ambushing me with questions about Bella.

"When did you find out?" Alice cried "And how is Bella?"

"She told me yesterday, she found out on Christmas." I said rubbing my temples with my fingers, a horrible headache making its appearance.

"Oh god, and how is she?" Mom asked then.

"I don't really know…" I opened my eyes "the doctor told me they have her in coma till the swelling weans down and then she'd wake up when she is ready."

"Oh my god, I wanna dig my nails into Tanya's eyes and pull them out! Ow!" Alice brought both of her hands to her belly.

"Alice?" Jasper kneeled in front of her "Are you Ok."

Alice winced again and I was on full alert now.

"Fuck… her water broke." I said looking down.

Alice eyes became wide with fear as dad sprinted from his place in search of a nurse.

"What?!" Jasper panicked.

"But… I still have four weeks left." She said alarmed.

"I know," Mom tried to soothe her taking my place next to her "It's going to be Ok honey, it's not too early this happens all the time and with all this stress I'm not surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"But Bella… OW!" She hugged herself as dad came with a wheel chair. "I think I'm having a contraction." She cried trying to ease her breathing.

"Alice, it's Ok…" I helped Jasper put her on the wheel chair as he was on the phone talking to Lee "go and have my niece." I tried to smile encouragingly but I knew it was more like a grimace, tears sprung out of her eyes as well as mine.

"I'm so sorry Edward." She cried.

"Don't be silly pixie," I choked "now go and have my precious niece." I kissed her forehead and the nurse took her away, mom, Jasper and dad following.

I threw myself on the couch with a heavy sigh and closed my eyes. Fuck, this should be a special day for Alice, and somehow Tanya managed to ruin hat too.

A few minutes later, I heard Emmet's voice.

"Where's everyone?" He asked looking around as he came into the room with two cups of coffee.

"Alice's water broke." I sighed pulling at my hair restlessly.

Fucking headache.

"Is she Ok?"

"I think so, the worry and stress must have been too much for her." I mumbled.

He handed me one of the cups and I nodded in thanks, he sat on the couch next to me and we kept quiet for a few minutes.

"You wanna talk?" He asked after a while.

"I don't know what there is to say." I closed my eyes with a sigh.

"I saw Eleazar being kicked out when I was coming up. What happened?"

I snorted.

"He wanted me not to press charges." Emmet glared. "I know." I huffed. "Incredible."

"What a fuckcrazy day… were you able to see Bella?"

I nodded.

"How is she?"

"They finally found a donor."

"That's good, right?"

I shrugged.

"They casted her arm and leg and tied her ribs, but her head and the baby is what's worrying me the most right now."

"The baby?" He asked confused.

"Oh, yeah… Bella's pregnant." I managed to say with the big knot in my throat and I knew my face was contorted with pain.

"Fuck, I'm sorry bro." He said with sad eyes.

I hid my face in my hands willing the tears not to shed. I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder and didn't care anymore if he saw me cry.

"It's just, I don't fucking understand… what did we do to deserve this, huh? Bella is a good person, the baby is an innocent they don't deserve this! I feel like such an idiot, so helpless and I'm so angry I scare myself, I just want to make Tanya suffer for all she has done to my family. What if something goes wrong with Alice too? What if Bella has a severe damage, what i-f wh-at if…" I choked "What am I going to tell the Andrew and Marie?"

"You have to have faith Edward."

I scoffed.

"Faith… why couldn't _he _just protect her and save us all the bad trance."

"Everything happens for a reason Edward."

"Then enlighten me!" I shouted, not caring about the glances the nurses were giving me "What's the fucking reason?! What was the reason for Tanya getting me drugged and taken away all that I loved? What's the reason for Marie's sickness? What's the reason for her breaking into our house with a gun? What's the reason as to why Bella is now strapped to a machine and our baby probably being dead by now?! Huh?!" I ranted.

He stayed quiet after that and I closed my eyes sinking into the couch. I knew he was just trying to help and didn't deserve my rant but could you blame me?

"Fuck!" I stood up not able to stay still and started pacing again until my head felt like exploding. I asked a nurse for a pill and thankfully they didn't bitch about it or my behavior.

About an hour later my phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out to see who it was. As soon as I saw Rose's name on the screen I answered.

"Rose? Is everything alright?"

"_Hi Edward, yes everything is Ok, don't worry… sorry to bother you… how's Bella?"_

"The same, she's still in the intensive care unit."

"_I'm sorry."_

The pressure in my chest -that had been there since I saw her with her back against the ground- got tighter.

"How are the kids?" I changed the subject.

"_That's the reason I'm calling, Marie's been restless and I was thinking, if it's Ok with you, take them to their home and stay there with them so they'll be more at ease?"_

I thought for a moment, with Tanya still on the loose I worried about them going home with Rose alone.

"I'll call Banner and ask him for and extra cruiser, and I'll send Emmett." At that Emmett looked up.

"_Thanks, I'll take the extra key Esme has at her house."_

"Thanks a lot Rose."

"_Don't mention it, uhmm Marie wants to talk to you."_

I let out a heavy sigh.

"Put her on the phone." I said in resign.

"_Ok."_

After some shuffling I heard my pretty little girl's worried voice on the other side of the line.

"_Daddy?"_ She said in a small voice.

"Hi princess." I tried to sound cheerful.

"_Where are you?"_

"I'm still with the doctor honey."

"_How's mommy? She still asleep?"_

I swallowed hard.

"Yes baby, she is still asleep."

"_She not feeling good?"_

"No princess."

"_Maybe if you give her a hug and a kiss she'll feel better."_

I took a shaky breath trying to control myself.

"You are so smart princess, I'll try that."

"_Ok, daddy I wanna go home."_

"I know sweetie, but I have to stay with mommy aunt Rosalie is going to take you and your brother home and she'll stay with you until mommy feels better."

"_Can we go with you?"_

"I'm sorry baby, but we are just with the doctor you'll only get bored."

"_Oh, can I talk to mommy now?"_

I bit my knuckles to prevent a sob and took a deep breathe.

"I'm sorry princess, but as I told you she is asleep." I said shakily.

"_Ok,"_ she said quietly _"Can you tell her to call me when she is up?"_

I bit my lip and covered my mouth with my hand to muffle the sob coming out of my chest.

"Yes princess… I gotta go, I'll call you later. I love you."

"_Love you too daddy."_ She mumbled and the line went dead, I put my cell in my pocket and covered my face with my hands.

…

…

…

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked Emmett.

"Sure."

"Rosalie is taking the twins and Liam home, can you go and stay with them? I know it's unlikely Tan-"

"Of course, you need anything else?"

I shook my head.

"Thanks a lot."

He shook his head.

"Don't worry about it, I'll go then call if anything changes."

"Will do." I spotted my dad coming back to the waiting room. "How's Alice?" I asked.

"They just took her to the maternity unit, but it still will be a while. Jasper and your mom are with her." He said but he was having trouble meeting my eye.

"What is it? Is she Ok?" I pressed and he turned to me.

"No, no… Alice is Ok… it's just, I just got off the phone with Kate."

…

…

…

"And?"

"Tanya's dead, she killed herself."

…

…

…

"Did she suffer?" I asked in a strange voice.

"She threw herself from the bridge in High Park, they are waiting for the autopsy to see if she drowned or if she died from hypothermia."

It's not good enough.

I didn't know what to say or how I was supposed to feel, the only thing I could think about was _fucking finally_. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

My family was safe.

As safe as they could be at he moment.

I don't know what that says about me, and don't care if I'm supposed to take the high road and feel bad about it but when the most important person in your world has a fine line between death and life because of this person you can't but feel relieved it all ended.

She was suffering too anyway in this world, her family had turned on her neglecting her because she was the black sheep in the family, she believed in this ghost who only haunted her and was only making other peoples lives miserable.

So yeah, I'm glad she is gone.

Fucking finally.

No one said anything and I knew even my dad, the compassionate one was relieved. Tanya did a lot of damaged and I know she wasn't the only one to blame to, we all made mistakes but we knew that and we were trying to rectify them, we all deserved a second chance Bella, dad, Irina, Eleazar, me even Tanya and she had a lot of second chances. She just never took them.

I know now what happened wasn't all my fault, but when it happened it made me feel awful, I was repulsed I wanted to blame someone and I blamed me, I blamed myself and I didn't know why. I had just made a small mistake I took a drink so why should all the rest have happened to me? Why did I embrace it all when Bella was gone? Why was I so repulsed by myself? Why did I hate myself so much beyond anything else to the point of killing myself? I hated me more than I hated Tanya.

It was when I lashed out at Eleazar when it finally dawned on me and I finally understood the guilt I had even after Bella assured me she didn't me blame anymore even though it still hurt her.

I was raped and in my manly ego I blinded myself of what was truly bothering me.

A shiver run through me just thinking the words, how didn't I understood what was happening to me? Granted, it wasn't a traumatic experience I don't even remember it but I still know it happened and besides Bella leaving, that's why I was so depressed.

I guess I knew all along but I never accepted it, I was on denial. But it explains a lot of things from my behavior, my paranoia, lack of social life, depression… my suicide.

What did my family think about it? Did they think I was… raped too?

God, it was so hard to even think about it.

Now that I think of it, I think mom does… and Emmett too, maybe they wouldn't say anything out loud but both of them where always breathing over my shoulder back then. Trying to help me get better.

Dad… I think he was too busy worrying about Bella, maybe he was in denial too, he was hard on me after all telling me to man up and face everything.

We are all so fucked up.

Six hours later, around midnight Jasper came out to tell us that Alice had a beautiful baby girl. That she was healthy and wonderful, he was trying to contain his joy because of me but I saw it in his eyes. I didn't hold it against him, I understood. After quickly telling us the news he and dad retreated to the maternity quad so he could meet his grandchild. I stayed on my place, I didn't want to ruin their mood. Emmett –being the wonderful brother he is- stayed with me. Since Tanya was out of the picture he didn't have to go home after all and I appreciated his silent support.

Charlie had called earlier, he made it to Seattle but because of the heavy snow flights where cancelled so he couldn't come. I tried to ease his worry but I knew he wouldn't be ok until he heard Bella's voice.

I shared the feeling.

He had asked for more details about the accident and thinking about his health I was undecided if telling him who had been behind he wheel. But after all we had been through I decided to tell him the truth. He had flipped and lashed out all kinds of profanities known, he accused me of not taking care of her and only bringing her more problems. I kept quiet and took it all, I knew he was worried and after all Tanya's target was me not Bella.

I saw Dr. Mason approach me and I immediately stood up, eager for any news.

"Dr. Mason, how's Bella?"

"She is out of danger," He said and I felt lightheaded with relief "As I told you before a woman came earlier with Miss Swan's blood type and she responded well to the blood transfusion. We are just waiting for her to wake up and run a few tests and another CT scan. She is going to need a lot of care when she does, she had a serious concussion and let's hope it won't have any after effects."

"What about the baby?"

His face fell.

"I don't want to give you any hopes Dr. Cullen, Miss Swan suffered a severe accident and she was only a few weeks pregnant, there wasn't much we could do. She'll stay in the ICU all night and all day tomorrow, if everything goes well we'll transfer her to a room after tomorrow morning and we'll run the ultrasound then, but I want you to be prepared for the worst even if the baby is alive, there might be sequels."

I knew that, but hearing someone else say that it only makes it worse.

"Can I see her?"

"Sure. Come with me."

"_Bella?"_

"_Yeah?" she answered over the noise of the water._

"_A patient just called, I have to make a house call, it won't be more than an hour. Would you be ok until then?"_

"_Of course pretty boy, don't worry and since I won't be having some of your fuckawesome macaroni and cheese because I am so hungry to wait that long, do you want me to order something for us?"_

"_Sure, whatever you want," I said as I headed out of the bathroom. "see you in a bit. Love you!"_

"_Love you too!"_

_I walked out of the bathroom and went to grab m-_

…

_WHAT?!_

_I froze, then and there._

…

_Did we just? WHAT?_

_DID SHE?_

_I went back to the bathroom and found her poking her head out of the shower stall. Her eyes wide._

_We stared at each other. Not knowing what to do or say._

_Then the most amazing thing happened._

_A big fucking smile, so big I thought it was going to break her pretty little head spreaded over her face. Her eyes were sparkling._

_I ran back to her, not caring about getting myself wet and kissed her. Hard._

"_I love you." I said, my heart beating so fast I genuinely worried it would explode._

"_I love you too." She said back._

A day later I was on the maternity unit waiting for Bella to be transferred from the ICU to a normal room. Meanwhile I watched Camille from the glass window while my mind wandered, I felt Jasper approach me but he didn't say anything.

"Congratulations, she's beautiful." I mumbled a little numb.

I hardly slept these past two days, not because the couch in the waiting room is comfortable as fuck but because I couldn't stop worrying.

"Thanks, she is all Alice."

I smiled weakly, because it's true. She even has Alice's dark hair which she got from grandma Cullen and her nose.

"How's Alice?"

"Tired, she is asleep now so she'll be Ok. How are you? I heard about Tanya."

I let out a long sigh.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I said loosing myself in my own mind again.

I don't know how I feel, it's as if I entered this… this alternate world, nothing feels real. Just two days ago, I was so happy. I finally had everything I wished for and now… I could have lost it all I still can lose it all. What if Bella has any sequels? Or the baby, if he is even alive? Don't get me wrong, I would still care for them no matter what's the outcome but…it's just that we were finally happy. We were finally where we were supposed to be.

"It'll work out Edward, it has to no one deserves it more than you." He talked anyways "And when Bella wakes up, you have to maintain a brave face for her so hold on. She is going to need you no matter if things go right or wrong."

He understood my fears.

"It should have been me Jasper" I whispered "I can't for the life of me think why Bella would risk herself and the baby like that. I'm afraid if something happens she'll resent me latter."

"You have to remain positive… and how on earth will Bella resent you? She did what she did because she loves you it was her choice, reckless or not but it was her choice after all. As to why she did it risking not only her but the baby too my guess is she loves you that much she didn't even think about it."

I didn't say anything so he continued.

"It wasn't your fault Edward you didn't do anything to make Tanya go after you. Stop punishing yourself, even Andrew who's the one Tanya was really after in her fucked up mind isn't at fault. Hell, even back then by what you told me he tried to stay away from her at the end, when she started showing her true colors."

Andrew, Andrew… you sure left us with a package. But I don't blame him, he was a victim too. He would have never guessed what his rejection to Tanya because of the abortion right before his death would cause. It makes me wonder what's what truly made Tanya flip. I have known of cases where women regret and feel guilty beyond words after an abortion, I guess that's what happened to Tanya and Andrew's death only fueled her guilt. It's so clear now, why she started drinking and fell of the train, it all happened soon after Andrew's funeral. A little more than a year later I graduated early from high school -where I barely saw her because her new crowd and mine were totally opposites- and never saw her again until that Thanksgiving years later where she asked me out.

I should have never said yes, I wasn't even attracted to her.

"Dr. Cullen?" I'm brought back to reality by a new nurse.

"Yes?"

"Miss Swan is now settled in room 101, you can see her now."

Thank god.

I turn to Jasper and he nods encouraging so I follow the nurse to the elevator where she presses the button to the fourth floor. Once there she leads the way down the hall pass the nurse's station and finally she points to a door. Carefully I open the door and let myself in, the room was dimed and the curtains down, inside there's Bella's nurse –whose name now I remember is Claire- taking some notes on Bella's file while she checks the oximetry and electrocardiograma sheets.

She looks up and smiles tenderly at me but my eyes are glued to my pretty girl. She is still mostly pale, but there is now a faint blush on her cheeks. I looked up to see her pulse rate at the oximetry and see that she is fact Ok. I also spot the IV with the sedative next to the electrocardiogram.

"She's Ok," Claire assures me when she sees my worried expression "she's been talking in her sleep. Something about a pretty boy? Do you have a son?"

I smile to myself, knowing she was probably calling me and I felt like an asshole for not being there. I took a chair and placed it on the left side of the bed so I could hold her hand properly as her right arm was casted.

"She calls me pretty boy," I explained "But yes, we have a boy and a girl. Twins."

Her gaze softened.

"That's nice I bet they are beautiful with such good looking parents. Now, I'll leave you two alone push that button if you need anything, yes?"

I nodded not taking my eyes out of my angel.

"Thanks." I said still with my eyes on Bella and then I heard Claire leave.

I brought my right hand forward and caressed her cheek, the side that wasn't bruised.

"Hi baby, can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"I'm here… as I told you I'm not leaving until you come home with me."

I kiss her palm.

"You are crazy you know? I want to be mad at you for what you did, hell I _am _mad for what you did, I didn't deserve it. I can't believe you'd risk your life for me like that."

I give her hand a light squeeze.

"Marie asked for you, she told me to give you a hug so you'll feel better soon, I talked to them again this morning, and Andrew said he made lots of drawings for you so you'll feel better."

A knock made me look up and I saw mom pop her head.

"Can I come in?" She asked softly and I nodded. "How is she?"

"Fine I guess, the nurse said she's been talking in her sleep."

"I talked to Rose and I went to your house this morning to bring you fresh clothes." She shows me my gym bag "The kids are restless… do you think it would be ok if she brings them to see Bella?"

"Not yet, she'll probably freak out when she wakes up and since we don't know when that will happen I don't want the kids around for that."

"And how are you feeling honey?"

"I don't know, scared mostly."

"That's understandable, what are you scared of?" She asked softly.

…

…

…

"Mom, I'm a doctor…" I said quietly "I know the multiple consequences a head trauma like this can cause," I went through them for the umpteenth time in my mind "then there's the baby… with so many sedatives and medicines on Bella and the accident itself… even if he is alive… I know it would break Bella if something happens to him."

"You can't think like that honey, everything will be fine if not…Bella and you will find a way. Did you know your dad and I were in a car accident when I was five months with Emmett?"

"No."

"Well, your dad and I were scared shitless… we didn't have the technology we have now so we didn't know if it had damaged him. Turns out all the months of worry were for nothing, yes your brother is a bit loon" she chuckled "but he was born healthy and perfect."

I nodded, trying to absorb the information.

"And even if he is not healthy, then it's good he will have you as parents. Both of you are so dedicated and patient and full of love. He wouldn't be in better hands, just look how well you take care of Marie? Everything will work out honey and in the worst case scenario if Bella loses the baby, then you'll mourn for a while but things will get better, you'll have each other for that."

I wiped my tears.

"You make it sound so simple. How was it for you, when Andrew died?"

"It was really hard, and I still think about him all the time but I learned to live with what happened, to accept it, your dad too." She said sadly.

"I was just wondering… if he hadn't died… would all this be happening to him and not me? Would Tanya have gone after him or would they have worked things out?" I looked up at her, finally tearing my eyes out of Bella.

"That's something we'll never know honey, but I'm sure wherever he is he is watching you and taking care of Bella and your baby."

…

…

"Sometimes I wonder, how things would be if he was here with us. If he would be married by now, with kids… or if he would be a bachelor like Tyler… He was a goof like Emmett so he'll probably get along with my Andrew too… he and Emmett already get in so much trouble I could only imagine how it would be if he was here too." I laughed through my tears.

"You miss him don't you?"

"Sometimes more than others, since Bella and I got together –before and after- I barely have time to feel lonely but I still wish he was here and would meet her and my kids."

"What do you think he'd be doing for a living?"

I laughed quietly.

"I don't know, something in advertising or real state… he had a way with people, so charming all the time." I rolled my eyes remembering.

"Yes, he was quiet the smooth talker I think your kid got that from him." I snorted "By the way you need a shower." She wrinkled her nose "Why don't you take one while I get you something to eat from the cafeteria?"

"I'm not hungry but a shower sounds nice, would you stay here with her while I go into the bathroom? I'll be quick I promise."

"Of course sweetie, take your time."

After a quick shower I changed into the fresh clothes mom had brought me. A pair of grey sweats and black Henley. God bless her, I was much more comfortable now. I brushed my teeth and walked out to the room again, mom was on the couch now with dad next to her.

"Where's Emmett I asked?"

"With Alice, they are discharging her in an hour she'll come before they head home with Camille."

I nodded.

I sat down next to Bella again and took her hand. She was still pale but not like too days ago, although she was still cold but that was probably because of the cold room. I stood up and turned up the heater, remembering how she hated the cold and place an extra blanket on her.

"Green…" I heard Bella mumble and immediately returned to my place.

"Bella? Can you hear me pretty girl?" I took her hand.

"Hot." She said and I chuckled, god only knows what she is dreaming about.

I kiss her forehead.

"Vanilla… Edward."

"What's she talking about?" Dad asked curiously.

"I think… she is dreaming about when we first met." I said with tears in my eyes. I had dropped her hot beverage on her and I replaced it "Medium French Vanilla one sugar, extra hot." I repeated quietly to myself.

"_Humor me?" I said spreading my hand in the direction of the coffee shop._

"_You don't give up, right?" She raised an eyebrow playfully, her eyes dancing with amusement. _

"_Nope." I said, popping the p._

"_Ok. Medium French Vanilla Cappuccino. One sugar, extra hot." She nodded with a smile._

"_I'm Edward." I stretched my hand out to her._

"_Bella."_

"_Are you Italian?"_

"Has the doctor said anything about the baby?" Dad asked then, bringing me to the present.

"Lee will do an ultrasound as soon as she wakes up, I talked to him before I got into the shower. He said as long as we had a heartbeat there's no reason for the baby not to be healthy."

"That's good news, right?" Mom asked.

"Yes, I guess."

There was knock on the door and Claire walked in.

"Mr. Cullen, there's someone looking for you downstairs."

"Who?"

"She didn't say her name, she just asked me to tell you she'll be in the cafeteria but that it was urgent."

"How is she?"

"Blonde, tall, pretty, early thirties." She listed and I turned warily at dad.

"Tanya's dead, it was on the papers today." He assured me.

"Ok, if she wakes up come and find me immediately." I told them.

I walked out of the room and headed to the elevators I pressed the button to the first floor and walked out as soon as the doors slide open again. I heard the noise coming from the cafeteria, the murmurs and quiet voices. Once I walked into the cafeteria I scanned the room filled with doctors, nurses and people who were probably here with a patient, until I spot her.

Irina.

Reluctantly I walked towards her, she was wearing big sun glasses and her blonde hair fell long and slick around her shoulders. I stopped in front of her not taking a seat.

"What are you doing here?"

She pushed up her glasses she looked like she could use a good night's sleep. There were dark circles under her puffy eyes and she looked tired and void of any emotion.

"Please take a seat."

"If you want my condolences you are wasting your time." I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"I guessed that much and I don't blame you, but I'm not here for that… I need to give… or show you something. Please sit down."

"What is it?" I asked sitting down reluctantly.

She looked into her purse and produced an USB key and handed it to me.

"What is it?" I asked not taking it so she placed it in the middle of the table.

"Yesterday, the police gave us Tanya's belongings that they found in her car when she abandoned it… this was on her key chain. I got curious so I looked into it, it had a password but it was easy to figure it out. The password is Andy."

My curiosity kicked in.

"What's inside of it?"

She looked uncomfortable.

…

…

"Pictures… of you and her that night and-"

"Oh, for the love of! Why would I want this Irina?!"

"Listen! There's also a video!"

I stood up.

"This is sick! Burn it! I don't want to see it!"

"No Edward! Listen!"

"What are you doing, huh? Why are you tormenting me with this?"

"It's not what you think!"

"Then what is it?!"

"You never cheated!"

…

…

…

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Nothing happened that night."

"Wha… huh?"

"The photos… they are fake."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I wanted to give Breaking Dawn pt 2 a run of their money with this ending ;) for the ones who have seen it will know what I'm talking about!<strong>

**One chapter left then an Epilogue!**

**See you soon! PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK?!**

**Saludos!**

**tpec**


	39. Chapter 39: Turning Page

**Phew! Ok, *takes deep breath***

**Exactly one year ago, I posted One More Chance's first chapter, and exactly one year later I'm posting the last one. *snif, snif* Only the epilogue left. Time flies! I can't believe it's been a year!**

**Thank you sooo much for everyone who followed this story since the beginning, to all the people who reviewed, cried and laughed with this characters! I never expected so many of you would join me and I'm really thankful it means a lot.**

**I wanna thank georgey_girl for her help with french in this chapter! If you haven't read her story The Weight of Words you should! It was her story, (which was the first fiction I ever read) who hooked me with FFN and inspired me to writing. Her story is also placed in Toronto.**

**My beautiful prereader Lisopera for her constant support and ideas, for taking her time in reading everything I sent her several times before giving me her detailed opinion.**

**And of course, my wonderful beta Cattinson for betaing every chapter in less than a day! You are amazing!**

**And lastly, I know the ultrasound could have be made in the ICU and that there are universal donors, but I wanted to add more drama to the story ;) I apologize if I offended any doctor here! I'm definitely not one, I did my research and accommodated a few things for the sake of the story!**

**Enough with the chat!**

**Enjoy!**

**SM owns everything but my ginger smurfs, those are all mine!**

* * *

><p>Chapter 39: Turning Page<p>

"**Turning Page" – Sleeping At Last**

I've waited a hundred years. But I'd wait a million more for you. Nothing prepared me for. What the privilege of being yours would do.

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch, If I had only seen how you smile when you blush, Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough, I would have known what I was living for all along. What I've been living for.

Your love is my turning page, Where only the sweetest words remain. Every kiss is a cursive line, Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I've been for who you are, For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart. If I had only felt how it feels to be yours, Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along. What I've been living for.

"_The photos… they're fake."_

"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulous.

She motioned to the seat in front of me.

"Sit, and I'll explain."

What was she talking about? Is this a cruel joke?

I pulled the chair back in place as it had fell backwards when I stood up so abruptly and sat down again.

"What you mean they are fake?" I asked not believing her words, this was impossible, I… I remember parts of that night, fuck I dream about it every once in a while, those memories are always haunting me.

"As I said, there is a video."

So?

She sighed when I didn't catch on.

"The photos are _stills_ of that video… she couldn't have taken pictures and do what she did at the same time obviously," She rolled her eyes "so she must have placed her phone somewhere while it recorded everything." She shrugged.

"What's in that video?" I asked rigidly.

She took a long uncomfortable sigh, having trouble talking about this.

"It's all a set up. You are out cold and she… she…" I could see she was very uncomfortable but I didn't care.

"Just fucking say it Irina!" I banged the table, a few people around looked at us but I ignored them.

"They are just poses!" She finally said "You never saw the pictures, right?"

I shake my head wide eyed.

"Ok," she took a calming breath "damn it this is awkward… so, long story short… she just make it _look_ like you were fucking and then froze the images… and that's what she sent to Bella."

I suddenly felt nauseated.

"That's impossible… I… I remember her…" on top of me, I remember coming, her eyes… the adrenaline the urgency. "I've dreamed about it too."

She shook her head.

"No you don't, I think you have what it's called a false memory. We do have that term in psychology… You think you remember but it's all in your imagination…" She pressed.

Oh yeah, she is a psychologist. But that doesn't explain anything.

"But, I do… I was there…" I insisted "she, we took a cab… we fooled around."

She shook her head again.

"You might remember some from before you passed out, you were drugged. It's normal to have memory lapses that's why you don't remember everything… and since you don't remember anything from the rest _after_ you _passed out_ your brain _remembered _for you" she made quotation marks "and constructed the rest from what you did remember."

I stared at her dumbly and she exhaled.

"You repressed a lot of things for years, and you felt guilty so your brain showed you what you wanted to see… your fears." She explained but I couldn't say anything, this… there were no words for this. "I guess you misinterpreted them for real memories, but they were all just an illusion, dreams but that doesn't mean they are real. The mind can be very powerful, just… look at what happened to Tanya. She really believed you were Andrew, she never saw the corpse she didn't go to the funeral… she couldn't so she invented her own little story and believed it."

My mind was blank I can't for the life of me wrap my mind around the idea.

Nothing happened?

I shook my head furiously.

No, I remember… I pushed her against the wall, we kissed, then I was on top of her, she was on top of me too, she rode me… I remember the smell, her too sweet perfume I remember her hands, my hands on her.

"You can be in denial as much as you want, but here…" She moved the USB closer to me "here is the proof…"

The USB seemed bigger than when I first saw it.

"Why are you doing this?"

I could very well go with this to the police and ruin Tanya and the Denali's reputation for real. Not that it matters anymore, Tanya's dead but I know Carmen would.

"You deserved to know the truth… it's the least we could do."

I could barely find my voice.

…

…

"We?" I choked.

Nothing happened?

"Kate, she didn't dare to come but she is very upset. She is mad at me too she barely speaks to me since Carlisle told us about the letter."

"You knew about the baby." I stated.

She nodded, her face crumpling.

"When we left Thanksgiving dinner at your parents', Carlisle called dad later that night and told him about the letter. He confronted Tanya she flipped and that's why she ran away again that night. In the letter Andrew mentioned me so I confessed knowing it all along."

I shook my head, this was… Oh god, _nothing happened?!_

"Why didn't you say anything about the baby before?"

Her eyes glazed again and she grabbed a napkin to dry her tears.

"She was my sister, she trusted me."

"But this was serious Irina, is not like stealing candy when you were five. She aborted a baby that was dangerous in itself!" I was getting myself worked up.

"There's more than that to the story." She breathed.

"What happened Irina? Why didn't you say anything? I want to know everything, fucking damn it I deserve a real explanation!"

She flinched at my tone but after a minute she spoke again.

"She came to me a couple of months after the dance she went to with Andy… I was with her when she took the test."

She turned quiet again and I waited not so patiently for her to continue.

"She was scared, she was sixteen and feared Andrew would be mad at her. She made me promise not to tell anyone, especially mom. I broke that promise and told Andrew. He got mad and he said a lot of things to her so she hated me. Then you went to your grandma's for thanksgiving and…"

"The accident."

"Exactly, the night before I overheard Tanya on the phone. She was supposed to meet Andrew under the bridge in High Park when he returned to talk things over, they always met there… sometimes I tagged along. He was still upset but agreed to listen… but Andrew never came back." She cried.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my face with my palms.

_"You took what's mine!" Tanya screamed at Bella._

_"You are sick!" Bella barked back. "You were the one who got in the middle!"_

_"He's mine bitch! He promised me! He said we would be together and then you came!"_

_"What the fuck are you talking about?!" I yelled incredulously._

_"You promised! Under the bridge!"_

_"What?!" I asked stupidly, has she lost it?_

_"Tanya, calm down, let's go…" Irina said then with a soothing voice coming closer to her. "It's Ok sister…" She took her shaking hands._

_"No! He's mine! She took what's mine!" Tanya cried pulling away "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry about what I did! I didn't want to…. I was scared you'd hate me!" Tanya said in agony._

_"What the hell is this?!" Alice gasped with rivers falling down her cheeks as Jasper tried to pull her out of the room but she wouldn't let him._

_"He's supposed to be with me… h-he promised! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! YOU PROMISED YOU'D BE BACK! HE PROMISED HE PROMISED HE PROMISED!" Tanya yelled at me._

_What. The. Hell?_

_"HE'S NOT ANDREW!" Irina shouted then. "He's dead! He died __fourteen years ago__!"_

_"Shut up!" Tanya covered her ears with her hands as she shook her head with angry tears. "You fucking liar!"_

The bridge in High Park.

She was found dead there.

What a cliché.

"But, why didn't you say anything before?! Irina, it was obvious the abortion affected her emotionally, especially after the accident!" I pulled at my hair.

What was wrong with this woman?!

"I felt guilty," she cried "I was young Edward she started drinking but that was normal for a teenager, I thought it was just her acting out because of what happened. I knew she was hurting but never thought she would take it that far. I felt so guilty, it was my fault she was so upset and when Andy died I felt worse so I didn't say anything. I thought I was letting her grieve in her own way. I thought I owed it to her after how I went behind her back with Andy."

"What about the drugs?"

"When I found out about the drugs so much time had passed I didn't related it with Andrew's death at first. I thought it was just a consequence because of the crowd she hanged with between high school and college. I tried to help her but by then we weren't that close anymore, she still resented me so she didn't listen to me, and dad and mom ignored the problem, thought it was just a phase." She said with disgust "I never in my wildest dreams thought she would do what she did to you before your wedding, or before when you two dated… much less that she would see you as Andrew. It's really fucked up Edward you have to agree with me on that."

"But at Thanksgiving you knew she thought I was Andrew."

She nodded.

"After she tried to run you over when you broke up with her I went to see her to the rehab centre. She said a few things that at the time didn't make sense until now. I couldn't put two and two together especially since you two dated, I thought what she had with Andy was just a fling, even you didn't know about their relationship. He had just broken up with Emma and Tanya never mentioned anything about love. So even if they had sex and she was upset because her best friend died I didn't know how deep were those feelings romantically. You know how she was, I thought it was just another one of her whims and she never talked to me about him that way. I thought her change in behavior and falling off the train had more to do with killing her own baby than losing Andy."

"She tried to kill me Irina! Didn't it make sense to you?!"

"Not at first, as I said a lot of time had passed. Seven years. I thought she was over him and it was just her getting in trouble again. Then my dad sent her to rehab as he promised you if you didn't press charges. Kate and I took care of her apartment. One day while we were cleaning I found a box with pictures of her and Andrew and a few of you and her from when you dated, and… it all clicked."

"You knew…?" I glared "All this fucking time you knew and didn't do anything about it?! Fuck Irina! I've been miserable for the past five years! Looking for answers and you had them all along?! Alice and Esme asked you, talked to you and Kate thousands times while I looked for Bella! Why didn't you say anything?! Huh?! Why now! Why did you wait eight fucking years?! Fuck that! Fourteen years!"

Her tears started again as she shook her head.

"I'm so sorry Edward, I know it's not enough but believe me I'm so sorry."

"That won't bring all those years back Irina." I glared "I want an answer, damn it I deserve it! I want to know the reason behind it all, I want to know why you let my life get ruined like that."

"I'm so sorry, I swear…" she choked "I never thought it would get this far…" She hiccupped "I don't know, it was all my fault I was afraid of telling the truth… Edward, _I_ was the one who convinced _and_ took Tanya to get rid of the baby and… and then _I_ told Andrew about it."

What?!

"Why would you do that?!" I asked incredulous.

…

…

"I'm sorry," she said again in agony "I was immature… stupid, jealous…" she whispered "I-I… I was a good girl, pretty, popular… he never saw me… he just had eyes for Emma and when they broke up he immediately jumped to Tanya."

Oh for the love of!

"You've got to be kidding me!" I banged the table.

She nodded.

"I know," She hung her head in shame "It was _all_ my fault Edward, because of me… Tanya got rid of the baby… because of me Andy hated her and… because of me she never got closure… Andrew died before they fixed things. The guilt has been eating me all this years when I realized she did love him. That's why I didn't say anything, because it was _all my fault_… Tanya trusted me and I betrayed her, because of my irrational jealousy. I kept quiet for two reasons, because it was her wish and because… because I was afraid of telling the truth of what I did."

"Why did you decided to tell me the truth now then, you could have just given me the video and left."

I was so disgusted with her, I could barely look at her.

"Because I'm sick of this, André my son is my life and I can't look at my own baby and not feel guilty or miserable for the baby I convinced Tanya to get rid of… at Thanksgiving, I saw your face. How it shined when you were with your own kids, or when Bella smiled at you. I feel responsible for you missing out on them too… if I had spoken as soon as I realized what Tanya's problem was… or if I had been mature enough and selfless years ago when everything started… my sister would be alive, my nephew or niece too probably and none of this would have happened."

"So are you telling me, Bella and my baby are upstairs with their lives hanging from a string… because you had a high school crush on my brother?!"

She sobbed and I lost it.

She would never shed as many tears as Bella, Marie, Andrew and I had shed. She would never feel what we felt, she had her perfectly healthy baby boy, her husband and a good life. She would never feel the emptiness or the loneliness I felt for four years, or suffer the depression Bella went through.

I stood up abruptly making her flinch thankfully there weren't too many people in the cafeteria at this time.

"You are a selfish brat!" I pointed a finger at her "You could have as well killed your own sister! You don't deserve the perfect life you have, if you really feel guilty I hope it's enough to eat you alive! I really hope you have a conscience, and what you did follows you everywhere for the rest of your life. You are lucky I won't ever hit a woman but if I could… I swear to god Irina!" I banged the table again with my fist. "I can't believe this! I can't believe you kept something like this! Most of all I can't believe you didn't help _your sister_!"

"I tried!"

"HOW?!" I threw my hands up in the air "You are a freaking psychologist! You knew she needed therapy, you knew she needed help not a fucking rehab centre! The problem wasn't the addiction! It was her mind! You knew how miserable she was and never told Eleazar?! She belonged in a hospital not a freaking spa!"

"I'm sorry!" She bawled covering her face with her hands.

"Oh great! You are sorry! Now everything is perfect!" I said sarcastically. "It doesn't matter Marie can't breathe properly, it doesn't matter Bella almost died giving birth, it doesn't matter she can die now, it's Ok, since she is pregnant and can take the baby with her, it's Ok! EVERYTHING IS PERFECT! PEACHY! Thank god you are sorry!"

"I'm sorry, I really am…" She bawled "I'll do anything you want… what can I do? I can talk to Be-ella explain, I can pay for the hosp-"

I let out an incredulous laugh, this was… perfect. Awesome.

"Is not about the money Irina! And even if Bella wasn't in coma I would never let you talk to her!" Is she fucking nuts?! "Unless you can invent a time machine there's nothing you can do. Now go, I can't see your face anymore."

"I'm sorry." She whimpered, with her shaky hands she lowered her sunglasses and took her bag and then she was out of the room in an instant.

Coward.

I sat again and buried my face in my hands. My full body was shaking in rage and my head was pounding again. My temples were killing me and bile rose up my throat as I felt pressure on my chest.

Fourteen years of lies, misunderstandings, sorrow and pain… all because of a stupid high school crush. I couldn't believe how much of a joke my life had turned out to be and the worst part was that I couldn't blame anyone but myself for letting myself get trapped into all this crap. I don't know what I could have done to make things different but I still blamed myself for being so naïve.

And Irina, it was so hard to restrain myself from strangling her. How could she had been so shallow and self absorbed? And selfish most of all, not only for keeping her secret all this time but also for not taking responsibility and helped her sister properly, just because she was afraid of coming clean? This was incredible, what was wrong with that family? Now, even though I still hated Tanya with all my being I could also feel pity for her, she was a victim too of her mental illness and no one of her family cared enough or could figure out what was happening to her. Irina knew all along, at least she knew for sure when she found the photos on the box after Tanya tried to kill me the first time and didn't do anything.

I couldn't believe how selfish Irina was when she betrayed her sister like that. She was the reason Tanya go rid of the baby in the first place, probably filling her head with shallow things like what her parents would think or what Andrew would do and then… she accused her with Andrew? How could she play with people's feelings like that? She was a monster, evil.

I shook my head in disbelief.

But I would think about that later, now I had more important things to worry about.

I stared at the USB key in front of me, it stood out as if it had a bright spotlight on it. Here I had my answers, the truth about that night and I was afraid of seeing it with my own eyes. I never saw the pictures, and I couldn't say that I want to real or not. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea of that at all… it all was a lie? All this guilt, all this hatred was for nothing?!

I didn't know anymore how to describe it… cheating, rape whatever it was, it was all a lie? I was so confused, I was relieved but at the same time furious. How can someone play with someone else's life like that?

You would think I must be happy, ecstatic about it but I was just… I don't know how I was. Sure, I was relieved I didn't have that weight over my shoulders now but… this fury this… this pain in my chest made it difficult to enjoy it. I lost five years with my family, not only Bella and the kids but I also missed time with my siblings and my parents… my sister's wedding, birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings, all those moments that I could have had… for nothing.

It's not like I preferred something would have happened, it's more like it makes me feel powerless, like I had no control of my own life. It makes me vulnerable in so many ways, I feel stupid as if I had walked myself into this, as if I should have known better.

I _should_ have known better.

I stared at the USB again for an endless moment.

What am I going to tell Bella when she wakes up? This would kill her but I also can't keep this from her.

AGHH!

When will my life stop being so complicated for once?!

I took the USB and pocketed in my pants.

I'll think about this later… I'll talk to… whom? Who can I talk to about this? I don't want to foul Jasper and Alice's happiness right now anymore and I don't feel like talking to mom about this, too awkward and Emmett wouldn't know what to say. I know who I would have gone if I weren't in bad terms with but… ugh! I can't, I'm still mad at dad for giving me his back when I needed him.

I walked out the cafeteria and took the elevator, I checked my watch and saw almost an hour had passed since I left Bella's room. On my way my phone rang, it was Tyler but I ignored the call. I didn't want or could talk to anyone right now.

When I reached Bella's room, mom and dad where still there on the couch. As soon as they saw my face they knew something was wrong and were on alert.

"Who was it?" Dad asked and I shook my head at him. I didn't want or could talk to anyone right know. I needed to think, let it settle.

Nothing happened.

"Son, you look terrible." He stood from his place in the couch "maybe you should sit down.

"Are you Ok honey?" Mom asked but I couldn't hear her clearly, she seemed far away now. I turned my head to Bella and suddenly everything blurred. My chest constricted and I felt as if I had been punched in my gut.

Nothing happened.

"Shit." Dad said but I didn't pay attention, suddenly I was on my knees and a trashcan appeared out of nowhere as I threw up in it.

"I'll go for a nurse." Dad said hurriedly.

"Honey?" Mom soothed my back "It's Ok, breathe." She said as I heaved pure bile since I haven't eaten since… I don't know.

Nothing happened.

I couldn't breathe, and my whole body was shaking now.

Nothing happened.

And everything was black.

* * *

><p>"He's waking up."<p>

"Edward? Honey can you hear me?"

…

"Mom?" I groaned in a thick voice.

"Yes, can you open your eyes baby?"

I opened my eyes and winced at the sudden light. Mom has there as well as Emmett.

I looked around me and noticed I was in a hospital bed in a room like Bella's, I still had my normal clothes on and wasn't connected to anything so that meat there wasn't anything serious, although I still noticed there was a patch on my hand.

"What happened?" I asked with a raspy voice as I rubbed my temples with my right forefinger and thumb.

"You fainted," Emmett explained handing me a bottle of Gatorade "You pressure lowered, I think dad and the doc called it Hypotension?" That made sense so I nodded "Anyway, they gave you something through IV and dad told me to give you this when you woke up."

"How's Bella?" I asked opening the bottle and taking a drink.

"She is still unconscious, although she has given us false alarms of waking up all day." Mom answered "Gianna and Tyler came back to the city this afternoon she offered to watch over her."

This afternoon? All day?

"What time is it?" I asked looking at the window but the curtain was down.

"A little past seven, you were out for about six hours." Mom caressed my hair "You needed to rest."

I flew my legs to the side of the table, about to stand up and go to Bella but everything was white for a second or two.

"Take it easy bro," Emmett steadied me as I close my eyes so the room would stop spinning "There's only so much you can take."

"I'm fine."

"What happened, Edward?" Mom asked with worried eyes. "Who was looking for you this morning?"

And then I remembered.

Nothing happened.

I placed my elbows in my thighs and buried my face in my hands.

Fuck.

As if making sure I hadn't dreamt it all my hand went to my pants pocket where I felt the tiny USB key.

Nothing happened.

_Nothing happened._

"What was that?" Emmett asked.

Shit, I guess I spoke out loud.

"It was Irina." I said opening my eyes slowly again and steadying my breathing.

"What did she want?" Mom asked sitting next to me and rubbing my back.

"Nothing happened." I whispered, still unable to believe it.

"What do you mean nothing happened? Jesus Edward, you were sick and then you fainted." She said a little angry "You scared the hell out of me. What did she say to make you react like this."

"No mom, nothing happened." I tried again, a little louder as it started to sink in –nothing happened- but that only made her angrier.

"Just fucking tell me Edward, before I lose my patience and fucking behead every Denali I kn-"

I looked up at her.

"No mom, listen…" I took her hand "_nothing happened_."

Nothing happened!

"What are you talking about?" My dad's voice resonated from behind us so we all turned to him, Dr. Mason was next to him as they both stood on the door.

"How's Bella?" I asked the doctor ignoring my dad's questioning eyes.

"Why don't we talk about you first, Dr. Cullen?" He said walking pass my dad. "How are you feeling?"

"Awesome. Did she wake up?"

He freaking chuckled.

"So it's true what they say about doctors being the worst patients." He shook his head amused taking the stethoscope from around his neck, putting the headset on his ears and the chest-piece on my back "Now, are you still feeling dizzy?"

"No."

"Yes."

I glared at mom.

"I got a little lightheaded when I stood up too fast." I sighed. "But that's normal I had been laying down for six hours."

He nodded and asked me to breathe deeply. Then he took a folder and started scribbling something on what I guess was my chart and more standard questions followed. Fifteen minutes later I was discharged and allowed to see Bella.

"Take it easy Dr. Cullen, I know it's hard times but you have to take care of yourself too, eat properly and rest." He said. "Nothing is going to change if you take a few naps in between while we wait for Miss Swan to wake up."

We were on the hallway now, all of us walking towards the nurse station on the fourth floor. Thankfully the room I was given was just a few rooms before Bella's so neither member of my family was too far if something happened.

"Thanks Dr. Mason, now how's Bella?"

Now that I was cleared I could ask more important questions.

"She'll be up soon, we took out the sedative a while ago but she is still under it. My guess is a few more hours. She might be confused and a little panicked when she wakes up though, we have to keep her calm for the sake of her and the baby, and if he or she is alive it'll be under very delicate conditions so we have to tread carefully. I wanted to run an ultrasound now that she was out of the ICU but we thought better to wait till you were up, I thought you'd want to be there."

I nodded in thanks.

"Can we do it now?" I asked nervously, was this it?

"Sure, Claire can do it, but I also understand you already have gynecologist?"

I nodded.

"I'll call him, and I'll let you know if he can run it."

"Sure, I'll be making some rounds with other patients but Claire can page me if needed."

With that he was gone.

I walked hurriedly to Bella's room with my family following, and as mom said Gianna was there with her reading a book on the couch.

I took the chair by Bella's head on her left and took her un-casted hand.

"Hi pretty girl." I kissed her forehead, then her cheek and temple "Sorry I was gone." I whispered brushing away a few strands of her hair that had fallen across her forehead.

"Hi Edward," Gianna greeted me from her place in the couch, for I moment I forgot she was here "sentez-vous mieux?" She asked in her thick French accent.

"Uhm, hi Gianna sorry. Much better now, thanks… merci beaucoup pour rester avec elle." I smiled at her and she waved me off so I returned my eyes to my pretty girl.

She had more color on her cheeks, and they had replaced the tube for a nasal cannula for oxygen, which was better and more comfortable for her. I traced my thumb along her jaw, her skin was still as soft, she looked so fragile. I leaned down and kissed her non-bruised cheek again.

"I love you." I told her.

After some small talk, understanding we wanted privacy Gianna left shortly after, leaving us me, mom, dad and Emmett alone. As soon as Gianna walked out the door we felt the sudden tension.

"Edward, can you please tell us now what Irina wanted?" Mom asked quietly after a few minutes.

I looked up and saw her roll a chair to sit next to me. I looked down at Bella and saw her beautiful profile again, the bruises on her right cheek were thankfully starting to fade although they were still prominent. I traced my fingers along her hair, playing with the long, soft mahogany strands. I had to constantly touch her to keep my sanity, she was the only thing keeping me together now after hearing Irina's words after everything we've been through.

"Nothing happened… between Tanya and me that night." I finally said.

I saw my mother's eyes fill with tears and then I began to explain them what Irina had told me. It was awkward, painful but… I had to. When I was done mom was livid, dad and Emmett too but both remained quiet as mom started to lash out profanities under her breath.

And it only got worse when I told them about Irina's involvement in… everything. She was this close to run out of the hospital and hunt down "that bitch". Her words, not mine.

"How are you going to tell Bella this?" Emmett asked quietly.

"I think I'll wait a few days after she wakes up when she gets better, calmer. I know this is going to kill her and she is already in a delicate condition especially if… if the baby is still alive. I don't want her to go into a breakdown in such a state. She is already going to be nervous and stressed I don't want to jeopardize them even more."

"I can't believe Irina." Emmett spat "How could she do that to her sister?"

"They are society's little fucking puppets, envious and selfish by nature." Mom answered and I chuckled without humor.

"Ok, as lovely as it is to hang out with you" I turned to them "would you mind to leave us alone for a while?" I asked softly "I need to be alone, I need to think about… stuff."

"Of course." Dad said "It's getting late anyway, I think it's best if we all go home. We'll be here first thing in the morning."

"I'll go and check on Rose and the twins first, do you need anything from home sweetie?" Mom asked sadly and I shook my head.

"No, but maybe you could bring clothes to Bella? She'll probably want to change out of her gown when she wakes up."

"Sure honey."

She kissed my check and everyone was gone.

I knew any nurse or the doctor here could do an ultrasound –even I could-, but I felt safer with Lee, he was an excellent doctor and I knew if the baby lived he would need extra care and attention that's why I decided to have him do the ultrasound so he could give us a diagnosis from the go. I called him but he was about to go into the OR in another hospital. He was about to do a cesarian to one of his patients but offered to come as soon as he was done. I talked to Claire and Dr. Mason about it and he said we better do it first thing in the morning since they would have to prepare Bella, it was getting late and there was no rush, he either was or he wasn't alive, the only reason I was pushing for it was because the wait was killing me. So after the ultrasound was set for 7:00 am, I walked back into Bella's room and took my place next to her as Claire retired her oxygen saying she didn't need it anymore.

"Hi again baby." I kissed her forehead. "I'm back, you miss me?"

…

…

"Please wake up soon? I miss you." I whispered brushing my thumb along her temple and jaw. With my other hand I took hers, missing the feel of her ring on her finger as I caressed them. When they had brought her in they had to take off all of her jewelry which now was in a Ziploc bag on her nightstand.

"Pretty girl, please wake up for me? I'm dying with worry over here… I need to know you are alright, please. I need to see your eyes." I kissed her fingers and buried my cheek on her hand feeling her warmth "Please baby, I need you." I begged.

Emmet's words came back to me, _"How are you going to tell Bella this?" _I seriously didn't know. Should I tell her right away? She would be recovering from a serious accident and I didn't want to endanger her by telling her this but, would she be mad if I told her later? Should I even tell her? Of course I have too, there's no doubt in that but I feared how she would take it, especially since she already would have a lot to worry about.

I looked down at Bella, once again marveling at her beauty. She was really the most beautiful woman I'll ever meet. It killed me to see her like this, it literally killed me and this wait was slowly but surely torturing me too.

Time passes, even when it seems impossible.

I decided to try and take a nap too, remembering Mason's words about rest. I guess I was going to need it tomorrow or… in a few hours I thought as I checked my watch. It was already two in the morning.

God, how the hell am I going to tell Bella? What would I say when she wakes up? I knew what she would ask for first, and it killed me that I wouldn't have an answer if she woke up before Lee got here. Or if he did and the answer wasn't what she wanted to hear. I didn't know what would be worse, the uncertainty or the knowing, if knowing meant that the baby didn't make it I'd bet for the later.

As I tried to sleep, my mind was going a mile per hour trying to come with ways to tell her with both scenarios, but before I could come with something my time was cut short when Bella whimpered. I jumped from the couch and took a long stride standing next to her, I looked down and saw her frown and move her head a little.

"Bella?" I asked barely above a whisper, I knew she would have a headache "Bella, pretty girl can you hear me?" I placed my hand on her good cheek.

She whimpered again and I pressed the button for Claire.

"Ed…ward?"

I felt my heart start again after almost three days. I had been dying to hear her voice.

"Shh… it's Ok baby." I tried to soothe her, I knew she would be in pain. She was quiet again for a minute and then I heard the door open and Claire and Dr. Mason entered the room.

"Edward?" She spoke again a little louder with a hoarse voice.

"I'm here baby." I kissed her hand.

"Miss Swan," Mason said softly so to not disturb her "My name is Dr. Mason and I've been in charge of you, can you please open your eyes?"

"What?" She whimpered.

"Open your eyes pretty girl." I repeated.

After two seconds she finally fluttered her eyes open. As soon as she did she winced closing her eyes again so Claire turned off the lamp on Bella's nightstand. She tried to move her right arm probably to cover her eyes with her hand but when she couldn't her eyes snapped open, blinked a few times and looked down, she gasped before wincing in pain.

"Bella? Do you remember what happened baby?"

I watched holding my breath as panic settled in her wide eyes as she looked around the room, her eyes fell on her casts again and she started at them for an endless moment. Two seconds later her breath got caught in her throat when it finally came back to her. Her hand immediately flew to her stomach and the heart monitor went crazy. I took her hand again over her stomach and tried to make her look at me.

"It's Ok Bella, you are Ok."

"But-" She started to hyperventilate with fear.

"Everything is going to be Ok. Shh… try to breathe baby."

"But-but…" She started to sob, her eyes wide staring at me. Begging me for answers. "the baby… Edward the baby?!" She asked in hysterics.

She gasped in pain again with the effort and her good hand went to her ribs.

"Maybe we should put her to sleep again?" I heard Claire suggest.

"No!" Bella yelled and cried in pain at the same time. "Is he Ok?" She whimpered looking at me.

"We don't know yet," I said softly, trying to soothe her with my voice "Lee is going to be taking an ultrasound in a few hours."

"Oh god!" She cried throwing her head back and I took her face in my hands to make her look at me.

"Bella, listen to me. You are hurting yourself you need to calm down, Ok? For you and the baby, are you listening to me?"

She nodded holding my wrist with her left hand.

"Ok, breathe with me." She tried to imitate my long breathes, in, out, in, out. "Good, now this is Dr. Mason, he is going to check on you, will you let him?"

"What about the baby?"

"As I told you, we don't know yet… you were in the ICU until this afternoon and then…" I cut myself short before I told her about my mishap "we had to wait till you were up." I lied "Lee will take an ultrasound in a few hours. It'll be Ok Bella." I kissed her chastely.

She nodded between sobs as she struggled to calm herself taking deep breathes.

"The baby, breathe, ok." She stammered before looking up at the doctor.

"Miss Swan, good to have you back." Dr. Mason said with a warm smile. "Can you tell me your full name, please?"

"Isabella Marie Swan." She said with a shaky breath.

"Can you tell me what month it is?"

"December."

"Good, now how do you feel? Do you have any pains or discomfort."

"It's hard to breathe… and my head hurts." She breathed.

Dr. Mason nodded.

I didn't know where I got the confidence from, or the words but I told them anyway. As my family said, I needed to be strong for her and help her through this, I knew she was scared. She didn't know what had happened to her or what they did to her while she was out. So as Dr. Mason started his check up I hold her hand and she held mine back tightly over her stomach. With my thumb I started to make small circles around her navel and she would tighten her grip on me.

"You have three broken ribs, and you had a severe head injury. We induced you into a coma for a couple of days until the swelling passed." The doctor explained. "Can you tell me what you remember the last?"

She tried to nod, but closed her eyes getting dizzy.

"A black car," Her eyes flickered to me "it was coming to us" I tried not to scoff at that.

God, I knew it wasn't the moment but how I wished to yell at her. She shouldn't have got in the way, that was reckless and stupid. By the way she avoided my gaze I knew the anger was evident in my face but I swallowed my words and kissed her hand instead. No need to stress her right now.

Dr. Mason checked her vitals, asked more questions and prescribed some painkillers, Bella knew these would make her go back to sLeep so she refused them for now. After he said she would have to stay for a couple more days for observation he and Claire left us alone.

"Bella, you are in pain." I tried to reason with her after the doctor and the nurse left.

"I'm Ok," She lied "I just woke up, I don't want to go back to sLeep yet."

"Bella." I groaned.

"What if they are bad for the baby?" She asked in a small voice.

"If… they won't harm him." I barely caught myself before saying _if there's a baby_.

"No." She refused stubbornly "I'm Ok, I swear."

"God, for fuck sakes woman I swear you are going to be the death of me." I groaned into my hand.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered and I opened my eyes to look at her.

Her face broke my heart and my will. She seemed so scared and worried, biting her bottom lip until it almost bled. I reached out with my hand to grab her chin and with my thumb pulled at it so she wouldn't hurt herself.

"You scared the hell out of me Bella please don't ever do that to me again. Ever."

She nodded as tears started to fall freely from her red eyes.

"I mean, what the hell where you thinking baby? I swear to you I have died a thousand times since Tuesday."

"I'm sorry." She breathed. "I just… I saw the car, and then I saw you… I, I panicked. I was afraid something would happen to you… I-I couldn't let anything happen to you." She cried and I kissed her lips chastely.

"I'm sorry baby, but what you did was incredibly stupid, seriously. What were you thinking?! I appreciate you risking your life for me but you didn't have to do that Bella, you'll never have to do that. Think of our kids."

"I was thinking of them, I was thinking of you, of us. I couldn't let anything happen to you. I love you." She said as if that explained it.

"I love you too, and that's precisely why you shouldn't have done what you did. Bella, if the worst had happened… god, baby I can't even…" I rested my forehead on her shoulder and I felt her fingers on my hair. "What if the situation was reversed, would you have like me risking my life for you?"

"No of course not. But I know you would have done it either way so it's a moot point."

I shook my head.

"Yes, I would put myself between you and a bullet in an instant but that's different baby."

"Why?" She glared.

"One because there's proof that I can't live without you, I just can't function" She rolled her eyes at me "Two, I'm supposed to protect you, my family and three… it wasn't just you Bella." I touched her stomach and a sob broke from deep down her chest.

"I'm sorry, I know… you must hate me right now."

I shook my head immediately.

"Never say that." I cupped her cheeks and kissed her hard "Bella, I thought I was going to lose you… that's my worst fear. When I saw you there… on the ground… it was like my worst nightmare coming true."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you but… I didn't have time to think… it was all so fast, I didn't even think about what I was doing only that I loved you and-"

I leaned down and kissed her again.

"I love you, too." I cleared her tears with my thumbs "Please don't do this to me again, Ok?"

She nodded.

"I promise, how are the kids?"

"Fine, don't worry about anything. I told them you weren't feeling Ok so we were at the doctor's."

"And… wh-what about her?" She asked with fearful eyes and I swallowed.

…

…

…

"She's dead." She gasped "She'll never harm us again."

"What?" She asked wide eyed.

"She killed herself."

"Oh."

Her chin quivered and she closed her eyes and covered her face with her left hand as she started to cry again. I stood from the chair and leaned over her half hugging her to me.

"Bella?" I kissed the top of her head "Shh… what the matter?"

"I'm sorry, it's just… is it wrong that I'm relieved?"

My mind plagued with all the things Tanya had done, so I shook my head. Even if all started because of Irina's selfishness, Tanya still harmed us a lot. She was dangerous to my family.

"No, it isn't. It's Ok Bella, it's over now."

"I love you." She gripped at my shirt "I'm sorry, for everything… for not believing you, for leaving… I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry for letting you go." I said and she cried harder. "I'm so sorry too pretty girl, I shouldn't have let you walk away either. I shouldn't have given up on us so easily."

"How can you still love me? After what I did?"

I shrugged and looked into her eyes.

"Because no matter what you do… you are still that happy, crazy girl I met at that coffee shop. I swear, the moment I saw your eyes you had me. How can I not love you?" I kissed her eyes and she took a deep breath.

"Thanks, for loving me as much as I love you."

"My pleasure." I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her arm "It's Ok, don't cry… shh, calm down baby."

…

…

"Edward, tell me the truth… did I, did I lose him?" She said painfully "I did right?"

I shook my head.

"We don't know yet."

"But, what are the chances?" She looked up at me hopefully, but I couldn't lie to her. I wouldn't do that to her.

…

…

"I'm sorry pretty girl."

* * *

><p>Bella was switched to a gurney by four nurses, and then she was rolled to the elevator with Lee and I in tow towards Radiology on the second floor. Bella kept biting her thumbnail the whole way towards the elevator with a faraway look in her eyes until I took her hand and kissed her fingers. I tried to tell her with my own eyes to relax, but I knew even I was a nervous wreck. So I didn't even attempt to distract her with mindless chat.<p>

When we got to Radiology, we were lead to an ultrasound room. The bed that was already there was pushed to the side so Bella's could be placed next to the machine. Lee started to make his thing, turn on the machine, the monitor he put gloves on and took the gel.

"There are no guaranties in this but, as long as we have a heartbeat… there's no reason why this baby couldn't be perfectly healthy." Lee told us for the tenth time, trying to calm Bella obviously.

She nodded and held my hand tighter she kept looking at a spot in front of her with the same faraway look since Lee arrived earlier. Holding my hand and biting at her thumbnail at the same time. I was seated at a stool, and leaned forward to kiss her temple.

"It's Ok baby, breathe." I whispered against her ear as Lee lifted her gown and poured the Aquasonic gel over Bella's belly. He took the transducer and spread the gel with it. He pushed a few more buttons and moved the transducer around.

Seconds passed, and then more seconds followed.

…

…

…

And then we heard it.

Bella gasped and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I let my head fall over the edge of the bed feeling as if I had just run a marathon.

"Thank god." I whispered.

Bella started crying and I leaned up again, wrapped my arm around her shoulders and brought her close to me as she cried on my chest. The weird flippy sound was like the most beautiful melody my ears had ever heard.

He was alive.

"Is he Ok?" I asked shakily.

"So far yes," Lee smiled at us "There's the umbilical cord… spine… and… hum? That was not there three days ago." Lee mused squinting at the screen.

"What?" I asked, stifling with panic and Bella stopped crying.

"So that's what it was then… I knew it… ha, god Cullen you must have a super sperm."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"It's twins." He turned to us with a wide smile "Monozygotic."

"What?!" I shrieked and Bella gasped.

"Yes, positive… Look, there's baby number one… and here…" He moved the transducer. "It's baby number two. They are identical so you are either having two boys or two girls."

"See what you did?!" I was still in shock staring at the screen. "You knocked me up squared again!" Bella laughed between her tears as she started at the monitor in wonder, her eyes couldn't look away it was as if she was seeing the sun for the first time ever.

"What?!" I asked stupidly again and Bella and Lee laughed harder at my still shocked expression.

Twins?

How did this happened? How did I go from almost no baby to two babies?

And we have another two, which that makes them four kids.

Four kids.

"I wish I had a camera with me." Lee chuckled.

"Twins?" I asked on what I wish sounded as a manly voice.

"Yes Edward, you'll have a full house soon." Lee snickered.

And everything went black.

"Edward? Edward? Jesus, you are heavy man." I heard Lee's laugh as I opened my eyes and saw Lee and a nurse hover over me.

"Is he alright?" Bella sounded worried in the background.

"Bella?" I asked disoriented as my eyes focused.

"Yes, are you Ok?" She said as Lee sat me back in a chair.

"I think so, what-" I looked around my surroundings and remembered what happened "Twins!" I suddenly yelled and Bella laughed.

"Well, as hilarious as this is," Lee chuckled "I'll give you two a minute I think you are alright for now." He stood up and walked out of the room. "Bella ring that bell if he faints again."

"Well, what do you think?" Bella asked as soon as Lee and the nurse left, with her eyes shifting between me and the screen with the frozen image.

"I think… I think we need to get a bigger house." I said in awe, still not comprehending what was happening.

"But I love our house." She frowned. "It's so pretty."

"Honey, we are having four kids."

Shit.

_Four._

Woah!

My hand flew to my hair.

Four!

Bella smiled at my panicked expression.

"Please don't faint on me again. Are you Ok? Are you happy with it?" She frowned a little. "I thought you wanted a bunch of them?" Her voice made me come out of my daze so I finally looked down at her, her expression tugged at my heart.

Silly girl.

I shook my head at her and kissed her soundly.

"I don't think you'll ever know how happy you just made me. Yes, I'm shocked and… fucking terrified but… God Bella, I'm more than Ok with it… I'm… I can't even explain it! Sorry I fainted on you… it's just these last few days had been crazy and now this… my emotions are all over the place, talk about whiplash."

She started crying again.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"So are you ready for the double screaming at two, four and six a.m.?" She teased between her tears and I rolled my eyes at her.

"We've been through worse." I kissed her again.

"So true. I'll take fifteen Andrews high on sugar over one crazy stalker anytime."

I laughed out loud.

"God, how I love you." I kissed her "I love you, I love you, I love you." I pampered her face with kisses. She giggled and winced so I stopped.

"Sorry, are you Ok?"

"I'm fine." She breathed "Now, shut up and kiss me again."

I snorted but complied by kissing her chastely which made her pout.

"Sorry," I placed my hand on her stomach "babies on board."

"God, you are going to lock me down aren't cha?"

"You bet your sweet ass I am… although it's not like you'll be able to go very far anytime soon." I eyed her casts and she groaned.

"This sucks." She huffed "How long will I have to use all this?"

"Six weeks."

"Yei." She said with sarcasm all over her voice and I laughed which made her give me the stinky eye which I kissed so she smiled again against her will.

Lee entered the room again and took his former spot.

"So, questions?"

"Why did you miss the other baby the other day?" Bella asked and Lee shrugged.

"You are barely seven weeks, it was too soon the embryos are too small, barely the size of a tic tac and one was hiding behind the other. I did hear something strange in the heartbeat, it was too quick but it was too soon to draw any conclusions about heart diseases and I couldn't see the other fetus, now we know it was the two heartbeats together."

"Are they healthy?" She asked then.

"So far yes, it's truly a miracle if you ask me. Your accident was pretty bad. That's why you have to take extra care of yourself understood? Especially with your history with your first pregnancy, and twins' pregnancy are risky themselves."

"Any recommendations?" I asked while rubbing her belly over her gown.

"A healthy diet, no stress, worries, unwelcomed surprises, alcohol, overwork, the basics. Try not to spend too much time standing up, if you feel like exercising there are some special yoga classes for pregnant women you can take but no more than two times a week for an hour. Lots of sleep and…" Lee looked straight to me "No sex or any sexual endeavors for a few weeks, the same goes for the yoga classes if you are interested, at least until she enters on her second trimester. The accident is still recent and we don't want to risk a miscarriage, it's still possible."

I swallowed.

No sex?

"Understood."

* * *

><p>I was cutting Bella's chicken for her when a knock on the door made us look up and we saw mom pop her head with a wide smile.<p>

"Hi mom, what are you doing here? I told you, you didn't have to come."

"Aww I know sweetie, I just thought you could use a little bit of sunshine." She stepped aside and opened the door further and that's when we saw two little redhead munchkins run into the room.

"Surprise!" They cheered.

With a wide smile I kneeled on the floor and held my kids tight, needing them more than I thought. I hugged them fiercely, failing at keeping my tears to myself. I can't believe I missed four years of this because Irina couldn't grow a pair and help her sister out.

Better not think about that right now.

"Look dad, we bring presents!" Andrew showed me his "_cars" _balloon excitedly and a drawing made with macaroni, glue and glitter on it. "So mommy can feel better."

"She'll love them I'm sure." I laughed and kissed their cheeks again I turned to Bella and saw her crying too "Did you have fun with Aunt Rosie and Liam?"

Andrew nodded but Marie shook her head.

"Andrew and Liam only wanted to play boy'stuff" she pouted "and I missed you and mommy, but guess what daddy! Aunt Rosie took us to see Camille today! She is so pretty daddy!" She jumped up and down.

"Alice had the baby?!" Bella asked behind me and I turned to her, standing up and taking Marie with me.

"Yes, sorry I forgot to tell you. She is Ok, they both are." I assured her before she could get herself too worked up.

"Mommy are you Ok?" Marie asked eyeing Bella's cast warily.

"Yes baby, now come on here and give me a big kiss!" Bella said happily and I leaned down so Marie could kiss her.

"Daddy I wannu kiss mommy too!" Andrew pulled at my pants scowling so I carefully sat Marie on Bella's bed.

"Don't touch anything sweetie." I warned her and she nodded her eyes on Bella and then I took Andrew and placed him on my hip. I better keep him close I didn't trust him to keep his hands to himself.

"Mommy, look what I got you." Andrew said after kissing Bella and he showed her the bright red balloon tied to his wrist with _Happy Birthday _in sparkling yellow letters across Lighting Mcqueen.

Bella laughed and tears gathered in the corner of her eyes.

"Thank you baby, I love it."

Mom took Andrew's balloon and tied it to Bella's headboard then she proceeded to arrange her bedside table with Marie and Andrew's drawings.

"Daddy, what's that on mommy's hand?" Marie asked making a face referring to the IV.

"That's mommy's medicine." I explained, Bella was still taking pain killers, although just enough to help with the pain without making her sleepy. She was a bit high though, her eyes where heavy but she kept smiling.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes, but if you kiss me again I won't feel it anymore." Bella waggled her eyebrows at her.

When Marie started to crawl towards Bella I stopped her.

"Be careful sweetie," I gave mom Andrew "Here, let me help you."

After Marie kissed Bella I pulled a chair and put them both there, so they could see if they were standing up.

"Mommy when are you coming home?" Marie asked.

"In two days honey."

"Did you get lots of shots?"

"No sweetie, don't worry your pretty little head Ok? I'm fine." Bella caressed her hair.

Then mom placed her hand on Bella's stomach.

"Edward told us about it, I'm so happy everything is alright." Mom said with a watery smile.

Bella and I decided on keeping the twins' thing a secret for now, as it was too early and a lot of things could still happen, but we still agreed on telling them the baby was fine. Andrew and Marie were another matter, we weren't telling them until Bella was halfway down her second trimester.

"Thanks Esme, we are so happy too." Bella took my hand.

"As it should be, now don't give us another scare like that Ok? Too many people love you."

"I promise."

My phone vibrated in my pocket, I took it out and looked at the caller ID.

"It's the clinic, I'll take this outside." I said not wanting to break the moment.

"Hurry back." Bella said.

"Always." I kissed Bella's forehead and answered the phone as I walked out of the room.

"Yes Heidi?"

"Good afternoon Dr. Cullen, how's Bella?"

"Much better Heidi thank you, is there a problem?"

"Not really, I just wanted to check with you when would you be back at work. Patients have been calling for appointments and I don't know if schedule them for next week or passing them to another doctor."

I rubbed my face with my hand, with Bella's physical condition she won't even be able to go to the bathroom alone in weeks, Alice is busy with her baby and Rosalie works… maybe mom can help and switch with Rosalie and Gianna once in a while. Melanie –Mrs. Cope's daughter- can help with taking care of the kids too until they go back to school like she did the night of the gala.

But now, I needed to be with my family, we needed it.

"I won't be back until after new years', don't schedule anything until the fifth."

"Alright Edward, call if you need anything and give my best wishes to Bella."

"I will, thanks Heidi."

I hung up my phone and pocketed it in my pants, turned around and was about to open Bella's door when something caught my eye.

Can't I catch a fucking break?!

There on the nurses' station was Rene Dwyer having a heated conversation with Claire.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but that's confidential. Unless you are a relative I can't tell you anything about Miss Swan's wellbeing."

"But I'm her mother!"

"Then why don't you ask Dr. Cullen or Miss Swan yourself?"

"Because I can't!"

"Then I can't-"

"Claire, I'll take it from here."

Both of them turned to me wide eyed not having heard me approach. Claire nodded and returned to her place on a desk.

"What are you doing here?" I spat angrily.

"How's my daughter?"

I scoffed.

"Why do you care?"

"I wanna see her."

"Forget about it!" I shook my head.

"You think you know me Edward, but you are wrong abou-"

"That's right I don't know you which is why I can't let you go near Bella. Cause I _do_ know about what you did to her and because I don't _know_ you, I can't _trust_ you being around her or our kids."

She sighed exasperatedly.

"Can't you at least ask _her_?"

I shook my head again.

"Bella is in a delicate condition, she can't handle stress or anything similar. She is happy now with my mom and our kids and I don't want to ruin their moment. Besides, I told her about you coming to my office and she made it perfectly clear she didn't want to know anything about you."

Tears filled Rene's eyes.

"Just tell me how is she." She said in a broken whisper.

"She is fine and out of danger."

She nodded.

"Please tell her I came by."

The nerve of this woman.

"Can't promise you anything."

She nodded one last time, turned around and left.

I stepped to the side and reclined on the counter in the nurses' station.

"Claire, how many times has that woman come in?"

"About four times, the first time was shortly after Miss Swan was admitted. She was the donor."

"What?" I asked incredulous.

"Yes, sir."

Rene was the donor?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes sir, I was the one who took her blood."

I… didn't know what to say. It's not like I expected her to be a monster who will wish someone else's death but by the way she abandoned Bella I wouldn't have thought she would care if she lived or not. Much less that she would care enough to do something about it. I wondered how Bella would feel about it, should I tell her? Would she be upset? What about Charlie? He was arriving tomorrow, should I tell him too?

"Edward?" Mom came into the hallway "Andrew dropped Bella's pudding over the sheets, would you mind watching them as I help Bella change?"

I groaned before turning to Claire.

"If she comes again let me know without Miss Swan knowing, and don't let her see her either." I told her quietly.

"As you wish, Dr. Cullen."

I'll think about Rene later.

Thankfully, she didn't come back and around the same time a couple days later I was finally taking Bella home. Emmett brought my car before noon while Rose and mom prepared the house for Bella and took care of the kids.

When we arrived home I had carried Bella inside and when we opened the door we were surprised by balloons and confetti thrown at us by everyone. A huge _welcome home _sign decorated undoubtedly by Marie and Andrew with more glue and glitter hang above the chimney on the living room, it was easy to say Andrew had been in charge of the right side and Marie of the left side. My guess was Rosalie had just drawn the shape of the letters for them.

"Welcome home mommy!" Marie cheered.

"Do you like our surprise?!" Andrew asked at the same time.

Bella was a crying mess as I carefully sat her on the recliner next to the chimney. And I brought an ottoman so she could rest her leg on it.

"Of course sweetie, I love it all." She said looking around.

"There's homemade food in the freezer to last for a week," Mom said "I'll bring more in a few days."

"Aww Esme, thank you so much. It's not necessary I'm sure we can order in?" Bella looked at me but I shook my head.

"You and the kids need to eat healthy, and mom is just looking for an excuse to come by and fuss over the kids." I told her smirking at mom who stuck her tongue out to me.

"Thank you." She whipped at her tears and I kissed her cheek.

"I already talked to Gianna, she works mostly in the mornings so she'll be here in the afternoons to help you with anything you need and Esme and I will switch places in the mornings after Edward goes to work and take the kids to school." Rosalie explained then "I can also help with picking up the kids after school since Liam is staring at Montessori after the break too."

"That would be wonderful Rosalie, thank you." I told her earnestly.

Everyone just hunged out for about an hour since they knew Bella and I were tired plus Emmett and Rosalie had plans for New Years tonight, and mom and dad were watching over Liam. So after mom fed her grandchildren they all left. Jasper and Alice were having a quiet night like us with baby Camille in their home too. They had called to wish us happy new years and Bella and Alice chatted for a bit. Alice had a few questions about newborns and Bella was more than happy to answer them.

Right now, I was in our bathroom bathing the kids. There was water and bubbles everywhere and my shirt was soaked so I decided to take it off.

"Andrew, stop splashing water everywhere!" I chastised him but he only laughed at me and I rolled my eyes.

"But dad! I'm a pirate!"

Great, we were back to pirates.

"But I thought you where Superman?"

"But Superman only works at nights! Jack Sparrow in the mornings!"

Cause that makes sense?

"Ok? Alright, time to get out." I unplugged the bathtub and they both groaned.

"Daddy, you are no fun." Marie whined.

"It's getting late. Now, who goes first?"

They pointed at each other and I sighed. I grabbed a towel and took out Marie first since she was closest to me.

God, I couldn't believe in a couple of years I'll be doing this with four kids instead.

Damn, I prayed they were girls one Andrew was enough. Although three Maries will surely give a heart attack as soon as they hit their teens.

No, no boyfriends till they are fifty.

Maybe I should pray for boys?

Gah!

I'll be thirty in June I'm too young to have grays yet!

"Andrew Charles Cullen! Stop throwing water everywhere!"

He pouted.

Fuck.

I quickly changed Marie into purple pajamas and Andrew followed with his blue superman ones and I decided to change my clothes too. When we were done I took them to say goodnight to Bella who was still downstairs on the couch now. She had been talking to Charlie so that's why I took my cue and got the kids ready for bed while she talked to her dad.

After they both kissed her goodnight I took them back upstairs and tucked them into bed. Andrew first and I saved Marie for last she was always talkative at this time, asking questions and being all sweet and cute.

"How's mommy daddy?"

"She is fine, didn't you see her how happy she was today?"

"Is she going to walk again?" She frowned and I laughed.

"Of course pretty little girl, she just hurt herself and will have that cast for a few weeks."

"Oh, so you not leaving again?"

"No," I kissed her forehead "Mommy and I are not going anywhere, we'd miss you too much."

"Prwomise?"

"I swear we were gone because mommy was sick not because we wanted to leave you honey. Is that what you thought?" I frown worriedly.

She shrugged.

"Hey, what's with the sad face? Why would you think that?" I lifted her chin so she would look at me.

"You always leave." She mumbled and her admission was like sharp knifes against my heart.

"Oh Marie," I laid next to her and hugged her tightly "remember what we told you on Christmas?"

She nodded.

"We are a family now, and I'll never ever leave you princess. Sometimes I'll have to be away like when I'm at work or like last time cause mommy was sick but I'll never abandon you and your brother. You are the most important thing in my world, Ok?"

"Ok." Her chin quivered.

"Besides if I leave who will I protect from evil monsters at night? Huh?" I poked her side and she giggled my favorite giggle. "Or with whom will I play tea cups, huh? Huh?" I started tickling her and she laughed harder.

"Daddy stop!"

"Alright." I laughed stopping my attack.

"I love you daddy."

"I love you more princess. Now, time to sleep. If you are scared or wet your bed, wake me up instead of mommy, alright?"

She nodded.

I turned off the light and kissed her one last time. Patted Sam on the head as he was lying next to Marie and then I stood up and walked out of her room leaving the door ajar.

I walked downstairs and into the living room, obviously Bella was in the same spot I left her an hour ago – in the love seat with her leg on the stool, and a mug with hot chocolate next to her- she was wearing sweats, one of my t-shirts and my U of T sweater to keep her warm even though the fire was blazing. I looked at my watch and saw we still had a little more than an hour before New Year's.

"Had fun?" She asked with glint in her eyes. "I can see you got a bath too." She nodded at my wet hair and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Hardly, you need anything or are you ready for bed?"

She shook her head.

"What kind of new year's party is that? I want to cuddle with my man in front of the fire with popcorn," I smiled "and more hotchoco please?" She batted her eye lashes at me and pouted at the same time while she handed me the empty cup.

"Of course," I chuckled taking it from her "I'll be back in a minute."

I went to the kitchen and put a bag of popcorn in the microwave, then milk in a kettle on the stove and added two bars of Mexican cocoa. That thing is gold by the way Bella discovered it once at a small Latin supermarket in downtown.

Chocolate Abuelita.

When everything was done, I grabbed a Corona for me and headed back into the living room. I put the bowl of popcorn in her lap, the hot cocoa on the side table and carefully to not shift her to much I sat next to her, dropping my arm around her shoulders and took a long swig from the bottle. She buried her face in my neck and inhaled.

"You smell like bubble gum." She said and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"Marie thought it would be funny to pretend I was Santa and made me a beard out of bubbles with her shampoo."

That thing tastes like shit by the way.

She giggled and winced.

"Are you sure you are Ok?" I kissed the top of her head and placed the bottle on the coffee table "We can still do this upstairs in our room." I traced my hand over her ribs which were held tight by lots of gauzes so she won't move too much and hurt herself.

"No, I like it here… it's peaceful with the chimney and the Christmas tree."

…

…

"So, no new house?"

"No, this is home." She looked up to me "We can turn the TV room into a temporary nursery room, then if they are boys we can add a bunk bed in Andrew's room, same in Marie's room if they are girls. Although I have a feeling we are having boys."

"That sounds like fun." I said sarcastically. "Andrew will have a little army to his beck and call."

She laughed and grabbed more popcorn and I stole a few.

"Aren't you nervous?" I asked her.

Honestly, I was as excited as I was freaking out which is silly since I took Andrew and Marie with arms wide open, maybe because it took me out of guard and now… now I have time to let the idea settle so it's scary in a whole new level. So it's different, besides… damn. I'm going to be a dad I never got to experience this before, the waiting, the wondering so maybe that's what it is.

"No I'm not, I went through this on my own the first time, it was hard but I did it. Now, I have you. Yeah, it's a bunch of kids but I have faith in us and I feel blessed. After all we've been through, I'm not complaining about four kids taking our sleep and energy away."

I snorted.

"Yes, you are right." I placed my hand over her abdomen and leaned over to kiss it. "Don't worry about me I'm happy it's just that this is new for me."

"I understand."

I kissed her again and then leaned down over her belly again.

"So there are two little peanuts in here, huh?" I kissed her stomach "You guys freaked out daddy earlier today." I kissed her stomach again. "Please don't give me grays before I'm thirty-five?"

Bella laughed and pulled at my hair making me look up at her.

"You already have a couple, but I still I love you sunshine."

"Me, too." I smiled widely at her.

I brushed my lips against her, and slowly but surely our kiss escalated in passion. It wasn't long before she winced remembering me about her state and I cursed at myself.

"I'm sorry, are you Ok?"

"Yes." She breathed "God, I hate this."

"I'm sorry baby, but I guess it was a good thing we stopped… I… I need to talk to you about something."

She looked up at me.

"What the matter?" She set the popcorn aside sensing my seriousness.

"Ok, I didn't want to tell you at the hospital because I knew it would upset you and you were just recovering from the accident. But now, I don't want to start the year with secrets… so please, please try not to be upset too much?"

…

…

"I promise." She said warily.

Ok, here we go.

Damn, was nervous and my hands were starting to tremble.

Did I have a speech prepared?

Fuck it.

I looked into my pocket and pulled out the USB key with a shaky hand and gave it to her.

"What is this?" She frowned in confusion and I took a long sigh.

"When you were out," I started softly "Irina came by to the hospital and gave me this."

She didn't say anything, waiting for me to go on.

"This," I started slowly "was attached to Tanya's key chain when the police found her car." Bella stiffened and looked back at me with wide eyes.

"What's in this, Edward?" She whispered, by her tone I knew she had an idea.

"They, they are the photos Tanya sent you and-"

"Why are you giving me this Edward?" Her eyes filled with tears and I took her face in my hands and adjusted in my place so she I could see her face to face.

"It's not what you think, there's more." I placed a lock of hair behind her ear "But I need you to relax before I continue."

She took a few calming breathes before she looked back at me and motioned me to continue.

I sighed.

Here we go.

For the next half hour, I told Bella everything. From the moment Irina called for me, the truth about that night and to the reasons behind it all.

At first Bella cried quietly as she listened to me, -shedding a few tears and sniffing- only to worry me when half way down the story she turned like stone. She stopped crying and looked straight to the fire in front of us void of any emotion. Just nodding once in a while to assure me she was still listening. When I was done with the story, we remained quiet for a few minutes. I gave her time to absorb it all, to understand what I was telling her while I watched her face closely.

"Nothing happened." She breathed after a while and I shook my head as a few tears of my own escaped my eyes.

"Nothing happened? Really?" She whimpered and one single tear fell from her left eye as she finally looked up at me.

"Nothing pretty girl."

"Have you seen it?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I… I don't think I can." I confessed looking down.

Bella looked down at her hand, watching the USB key intently she closed her fist and brought her knuckles to her mouth still holding the key. Thinking, thinking.

I'd give anything to be a mind reader right now.

Suddenly, she shook her arm throwing the key into the fire.

"Why did you do that?" I asked in surprise "I thought you would want to-"

"I don't need to."

"Why?"

"I trusted you before you told me this and I trust you now, that won't change no matter what happened that night. I'm done. I don't need proof of anything and I don't need anything to remind us the hell we've been through. I want to leave everything behind us."

"Are you sure?" I asked above a whisper.

Her face contorted in pain and she started crying hard as she nodded. I wrapped my arms around her and hold her as tight as I could without hurting her as she cried on my chest.

"I just want to finally move on from this, oh god." She sobbed "I feel so… so relieved she didn't touch you… that way but pained at the same time she did get close enough to hurt us like this."

"I know." I cried too. "I feel the same way."

"I'm so sorry Edward, I-"

I knew she would do this.

"Bella," I leaned away so she could see me "please don't apologize, ever again. I didn't tell you this because I wanted your apologies or to show my innocence. I showed you this so we could really start fresh, without secrets or the past hanging above us. As you said, leaving the past in the past with no more what ifs or uncertainties, so we can finally have closure. The truth is out, and now we can finally turn the page and close this chapter of our lives."

She nodded.

"You are right, I'm sorry. It's just… it hurts that we went through all this for the mistakes of others, which in turn made us make worse mistakes and hurt us even more than what they did." She whimpered and I used the sleeve of my sweater to dry her tears.

"I know, but look how far we have come? Against everything life threw at us, we still managed to get through" I placed a lock of hair behind her ear "and now, here we are… in a place we can call ours, in our home, with our two little smurfs sleeping soundly upstairs, you and I here holding each other and as if it wasn't enough… we have two more blessings in our way." I gently patted her belly.

"You are right we have a lot of things for being happy for."

We could hear fireworks in the distance, indicating the New Year and Bella's eyes glazed again.

"Exactly, finally we can concentrate on us and our family and finally heal. We can do it together pretty girl, I know we can. This is our chance, the one we've been fighting for to have it all. It never was about you giving me a chance or me giving you one. It was about _us_ giving _us_ that chance to _us_, for _us_."

She nodded.

"One more chance to be happy…" She repeated the words she had told me Christmas' eve when she proposed to me "So this is it? We can finally be happy now?" She asked hopefully.

I chuckled and gave her a long deep kiss.

"This is it, are you ready?"

"As long as I have you."

"Always."

* * *

><p><strong>Awwww! Look at that!<strong>

**The ultrasound scene was inspired on an episode of One Tree Hill, and it was planned since the beginning, here is the link to that scene if you want a visual! Just remove the spaces or look for "Nathan and Haley Heartbeat scene"**

** www . youtube watch?v=NOht6IVcVTA**

**And look at that! Twins! See? I do listen to you! **

**What do you think about Irina? Does she deserves forgiveness? **

**What about Rene? Should she be invited to the wedding? Lol!**

**Anyway, next is the Epilogue with the wedding, do you have any suggestions for B and E's wedding song? Or for the chapters song? Which songs do make you think of OMC? I'll love to know!**

**Love you all!**

**See you in a few days and happy holidays!**

**Feliz Navidad!**

**tpec**

**P.s. Chocolate Abuelita IT'S delicious! I'm having a cup right now!**


	40. Chapter 40: A Thousand Years

**"One More Chance" is nominated for the Top Ten Completed fics at the TwiFanfictionRecs! If you think I deserve the honor make sure you go and vote!**

**The poll closes on March 1st!**

**w w w . ****twifanfictionrecs . com**

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><p><strong>I know! I'm HORRIBLE! I'm sorry about the huge ass delay, but between the holidays, coming back to college and being on a SLA mode I couldn't find the time!<strong>

**WARNING!: Real Life happened to my beta too, I wanted to wait for her to beta this but since some of you have been asking me for this I didn't want to keep you waiting, so excuse me for the mistakes, I promise I repost as soon as Catt sends it back correted!**

**If you need visuals, Bella's wedding dress and outfits are on my blog! Go and see! tpec1991 . blogspot . com**

**I wanna dedicate the last part of this chapter to a beautiful new reader GLO4TWILIGHT who has been harassing me for more lemons for this two ;) Thank you sooo much for all your reviews sweetie! I loved them!**

**I also wanna dedicate this to my amazing brazilian readers, you know who you are! And LissLove cause... you are awesome and special shout out to Liz Negrao who convinced me to translate this story into portuguese! (She'll do all the pretty work) So expect that soon!**

**I heard and loved all your songs suggestions, my favorites where A Drop In The Ocean - Ron Pope (Anon), I Can't Wait – Runner Runner (Hollynn28), After All – Peter Cetera and Cher (Trojanmom) and Me and You – Kenny Chesney (Tigger5600)**

**A lot of you suggested "A thousand Years" since that had been my original pic for chapter song, I left it like that and picked another one for their wedding song!**

**Let's see who won! And see if anyone of you catches the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reference!**

**SM owns everything BUT my little ginger smurfs and a couple of peanuts.**

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><p>Chapter 40: A Thousand Years<p>

Epilogue

"**A Thousand Years" – Christina Perri**

Heart beats fast

Colors and promises

How to be brave

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

Suddenly goes away somehow

One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you

Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Time stands still

Beauty in all she is

I will be brave

I will not let anything Take away

But standing in front of me

Every breath, every hour has come to this

One step closer

The alarm on my clock tells me it's time to wake up.

And I do with a shit eating grin on my face.

I never thought this day will arrive, I stand up from our bed and walk out of Bella's and I bedroom. Greet Sam by the stairs and make my way to the kitchen to start some coffee. God knows I'm gonna need it today.

I check my watch and see it's only 8:04, I still have more than an hour before Emmet picks me up. I feed Sam and make my way back upstairs to take a shower. It's been a long time since I woke up to a silent and empty house. Right now the house feels lonely, too quiet but it's not haunted like I was used to and the reason behind it makes me smile even wider.

March 15th

Today is our wedding day.

It was decided mom and dad would take care of all the kids, so the rest of us would have the night free and would be able to rest properly for today's event that's why Liam, Andrew, Marie and Camille stayed over at my parents last night and had a slumber party.

Yeah, good luck for nana and pops.

Alice insisted once again with the old tradition, that's why Bella isn't here either. The girls and her stayed at the hotel near the Palais Royale -where the ceremony and party will be held- so they would have more time getting ready and shit without worrying about getting stuck in traffic and lose time.

I was this close to killing my own brother yesterday by the way.

_I was helping Bella stuffing boxes with centerpieces and flowers, her ribs where still a little sensible and with the pregnancy I wasn't letting her do anything so I was helping her loading the suv with everything. She was sitting next to me on the breakfast table cutting thorns while having spoonfuls of peanut butter from the jar._

_The phone rang and after checking the caller ID I see it's Emmet and press the green button, putting on the speaker and placing the phone over the table returning to my task, it was already noon and we had to take this to the Palais._

"_Hi, Em what's up?" _

"_Hi bro! I was just calling to see if you wanted to go out for drinks tonight? Last minute bachelor party, what daya say?" he laughed and I glared at the phone._

By his tone I knew he was just messing with me, but I didn't find it so funny at the time. Bella did though, she had laughed something crazy and called Emmet an idiot. I just shook my head told him to go fuck himself and ended the call.

I got out of the shower and dried myself with a towel, then pull up a pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt. I didn't have to dress up yet, I'll do that at the hotel too with the rest of the guys. I didn't see the point of that but it was part of Alice's schedule and god forbid if I messed with it.

I look at my watch again.

8:17

Fuck.

Not knowing what to do with myself I grab my cell phone and decide to text Bella, I wanted to see how her morning was doing. I knew Alice must have been all over her since seven.

**Good morning pretty girl, how are you? Have you killed my dearest sister yet? – E**

I tuck my phone in my pocket and go downstairs for my coffee, when I'm about to take a sip my phone chirps.

**Good morning sunshine! No, I haven't killed her yet but I'm close. I'm starving and she is only giving me fruit! Fucking fruit! I don't know what her problem is, I look fat already! – B**

I chuckled to myself, yeah my pretty girl is showing already. But it's normal since we are having twins, we haven't told anyone yet but I know dad keeps looking at her tummy curiously. We are telling them soon though, we can't keep it to ourselves for much longer. But what we are really excited about, it's that we are telling the twins about Bella's pregnancy today after the ceremony. We thought it would be more special, Marie will be over the moon.

So yeah, life's good.

**You are gorgeous. But maybe I could sneak some timbits for you under my suit jacket? - E**

It's been a little over two months since the accident, and Bella and I have made the most of it. Although we still had to postpone the kids' birthday party till the summer because of the bad timing, we did spent a lot of time together instead, especially the days following the accident. Before I had to return to work, we spent all mornings in bed the four of us. The kids and I spoiling Bella rotten with kisses, love and sweets.

Our family helped us a lot even thought we had Melanie –Mrs. Cope's daughter- working with us fulltime, making rounds and taking shifts taking care of Bella and the kids while I was at work, since Bella had the casts back then she could barely. And even if she could Lee had said she should take it easy and rest since there was still the threat of a miscarriage, but thank god it didn't happen and we are safe now. Bella is almost four months pregnant which is why we are safe telling the kids about it now.

I open the fridge deciding to have some breakfast, I still had a lot of time to kill till Emmet got here and I knew as soon as I get to the hotel my time won't be mine. As I said Alice had a perfectly synchronized schedule.

**That's tempting, but I wouldn't want to have my mouth full while I say my vows ;) – B**

I smiled to myself, Bella is now at that stage where she had the craziest cravings at the worst timing and as the utter sap I had turned into I'll do and get her anything she asked for. No matter if it was nachos at two in the morning.

**God forbid. But seriously, how are you? – E**

**I'm being pampered all over, massages, mani, pedi, the room literally looks like a freaking spa so you tell me ;D You should see Marie though, she keeps staring at her dress, she can't wait to wear it. – B**

My pretty little girl, she will be our flower girl and Andrew the ring bearer just like my fantasy. Alice had done a great job pulling the wedding together in just a few weeks, obviously with the help of Adam –her assistant- and mom. Since Bella was still recovering and couldn't stress herself because of the babies Alice, Adam and mom managed most of it. Well Alice did, and ordered the rest what to do to be exact and they would obey quietly and without putting up a fight since she was still high on hormones and had a newborn to take care of too.

The only argument Bella and I have had since the accident was two days later when I suggested we postponed the wedding until after the babies were born, but she refused adamantly. Saying if we didn't do it now it will only drag on and on and promising me she would let Alice and mom handle all the heavy stuff. After a lot of arguing and talks with them I finally relented. On the condition Bella's only job would be of giving opinions and approving whatever Mom and Alice showed her from the comfort of our home.

After that all went down smoothly.

Well, except when I told her about Rene's donation after Lee confirmed the peanuts were out of danger. She had been pretty mad, first at me for not telling her immediately but after I explained her I only kept it from her for the sake of the peanuts she wasn't mad at me anymore, kind of. But she was still fuming about what Rene had told me, saying it was too late and unnecessary. As I had guessed she didn't want to contact her.

I looked down at my watch again, 8:34.

**She is with you? I thought you were at the hotel? – E**

**I was, now we all are at the bridal room at the Palais. Adam, Rose, Gianna, Alice, Esme, Marie and Camille are here too. Emmet has the boys. – B**

Damn, that wasn't safe. Those three could easily bring down the CN tower if they wanted to.

**Do they have adult supervision? – E**

**Lol! I think Jasper is with them too. I gotta go, Alice is being ultrasonic again and I fear for my poor ears. Love you! – B**

**See you at the altar, love you too. – E**

**I'll be the one in white ;) - B**

I felt something pull at my pants and I look down to see Sam chewing the hem.

"Hey buddy." I kneel down patting his head. He has gotten so big, the vet says he has reached his full height.

Then I hear a honk go crazy just outside the house, I look through the window and see Emmet's jeep pull up and I wave at him. I can see Liam and Andrew on the back and I can already tell from here that they are high on sugar.

I pull on my coat, the winter is almost over but it's still freezing outside and head out locking the door behind me. Thankfully spring will be here in just a few short weeks.

"Hey bro! Ready to get hitched!" Emmet yells rolling down the window.

"Hi dad!" Andrew waves at me frantically from his place on the back.

"You are early." I say walking towards them.

"Yeah, we have a surprise for you. We are giving you a real bachelor party!"

I stop on my tracks.

"What?" I ask stupidly.

Their faces look suspiciously too innocent.

"We are-" Andrew starts but Emmet cuts him off.

"Hey! Don't tell him anything, jut hop on Eddieboo! You won't regret it I swear!"

"Yes dad! Plwease."

Oh god… he is pouting.

Look away, Edward. Look. Away.

Damn it! Liam is pouting too!

Against my better instincts, I do what they say.

Cause I just can't fight the pout.

And that's how we end up at Chuck E. Cheese's.

"So dad," Andrew takes a zip from his juice and settles it on the table with a loud bang "what are your intentions with my mommy?" He says giving me the stinky eye and I choke on my beer.

"What was that?" I try to hide my amusement.

Andrew looks back at Emmet and he nods in encouragement.

"You hear me." The stinky eye is back and I bit my lip before taking a bite from my pizza. "What are your intentions with my motha'?"

I stare blank at him, then turn to my guffawing brother.

"Really, Em?" I make a face.

He turns serious again.

"The kid asked you a question, _brotha_'."

I just roll my eyes at them.

This reminded me of the conversation I had with Charlie a couple days ago when he arrived for the wedding. Bella had said he wanted to talk to me when she told him about the engagement on Christmas, and talk we did.

I knew he never liked me, he didn't trust me before much less now so I was surprised when he gave us his blessing, I was even more shocked about his words that morning before he went back to Forks.

"_I don't like you Edward, but to be honest no one is ever going to be enough for my daughter. But I'm not stupid, I know the look in her eyes every time you enter the room, I see the changes in her… she is far from the girl she was when she called me that night asking for help." He looked down, remembering what I guess was the night Bella called him after that fateful morning._

_I didn't say anything, knowing I have to let him have his say. It was his role as a father to make sure her daughter would be provided for, and more than that to make sure she would be happy and loved._

"_I never agreed on what she was doing, even thought I wanted to kill you myself back then… I knew her decision on keeping the twins a secret would only bring her more pain in the future but I had failed her so many times before I had to stay on her side."_

_This Bella had told me before, that Charlie had warned her and didn't agree with her but still helped her._

"_I don't care what happened that day," I opened my mouth to say something but he interrupted me "if it's true or not I don't care, the only thing that matters is that it hurt my daughter."_

_I nodded and looked down, I'm not sure how and when Bella and I will recover completely from all the pain we suffered all this years. We are working on it though, as promised. We are also seeing a psychologist Patricia – the family counselor at the kid's school- recommended us. Her name is Karen, we are seeing her once a week._

"_You are a father now so you must know how I felt. Especially since I had already witnessed all the pain Bella suffered growing up with what Rene did to us… and I never did anything to make it go away… I was a horrible father that's why I don't feel like I have a say in her choices, I'm no one to say what's best for her or who should be the one to be with her. I don't think that's my place since I hurt her too myself."_

_I didn't say anything, since he was probably right in one thing. He should have done more for Bella, he should have looked out for her and maybe things would have turned out a little different. Bella wouldn't have been so damaged she felt like running and hiding as soon as things turned wrong, like Charlie did. Running and hiding in himself, making her daughter grow up too fast with her demons and trust issues all alone._

"_But I'm still her father, and I still love her with all my heart. I want her to be happy and if she says __**you **__make her happy, then who am I to oppose? She is an adult, an amazing mother so I know she wouldn't take you back just for the kids because she'd know that wouldn't be the answer… she's giving you another chance because she loves you and I won't stand on her way… for once she is happy and that's the only thing I want for her."_

"_Me too, I love her too Charlie and I swear I won't hurt her again. I just want her and our kids to be happy."_

_He nodded._

"_I know all Bella's been through, not only about what happened with Tanya but also growing up, she has had it hard and I want to make it up to her for what life has thrown at her. She deserves better, even I know I'm not good enough for her but I'll try. Every day I'll try to be better, to be whatever she needs. We are not rushing into this because we think it's best for the kids, or because she is pregnant. We are doing this because it feels right, because we want to."_

"_I love her Charlie, and as crazy as it sounds she loves me back. I won't ever take her for granted, I thank god everyday because I have her in my life. And I want to dedicate said life to her, I can't guarantee you if I'll be able to provide for her forever, but I can promise you this… I will cherish her every day, I will make her feel beautiful and loved as she deserves."_

_He looked out of the window thinking about my words before he turned back to me._

"_Good, cause if you hurt her again… I will dig into my basement for my old gun and won't hesitate to shoot you this time. I mean it."_

_I swallowed._

"_I promise there won't be a reason for you to do so."_

"Dad!"

I jumped on my seat.

"Sorry buddy, I spaced out… so, my intentions with your mother?"

"Yes, what are your intentions with my mommy?" He smacked his forehead "Sorry, motha'!"

I snorted.

"Well buddy, my intentions are good I promise."

"You love her? You prwomise to buy her candies and grwape juice everyday for the rest of your life? She likes those."

I smirked, knowing those request were more for his benefit. Bella hated grape juice, too sweet she says.

"I promise kiddo."

He beamed.

"Good! Now you have permission to mawry mommy."

"Speaking of which…" Emmet stammered nervously "I think it's time to go."

I frowned and looked down at my watch.

"HOLY MOTHER FUCKING SHIT!"

The kids gasped and a few people glared at me.

Emmet and I each grabbed our own kid, ignoring the angry parents and amused kids and jumped out of the table.

"Damn it Emmet! I told you this was a bad idea!"

"It's Ok bro," He said as we reached the car. "We'll be there in thirty minutes and you'll still have an hour to get ready."

"Don't you know Alice!"

Emmet cringed.

"Shit."He muttered under his breath.

I buckled Andrew on his seat car and groaned when I saw cheese on the back of his hair. How the hell did it get there?! I don't have time to bathe him!

I don't know how many laws we broke, but 27 minutes later Emmet and I stumbled into the Palais Royal with a laughing Liam and Andrew on our backs.

"She is not here," Emmet said looking around frantically "let's go to the groom's room befo-"

"AGHHHH!" We both screeched as we felt a piercing pain on our ears.

"WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU?!" Alice screamed as she pulled us by our ears in the direction of the groom's room.

"The car broke."

"Big traffic jam."

Emmet and I said at the same time and the pain intensified.

"Ow, ow, OW!" I cried "Alice let it go!" I pulled away as we got into the room.

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!" Alice seethed "Where the hell were you and why do I smell pepperoni on Andrew's hair?!"

"We went to Chuck and Cheez!" Andrew cheered and Emmet and I paled.

"What?!"

"He means we went to buy cheese…" Emmet hurried and I wanted to smack him "You know, snacks for the guests?"

Alice began slapping us all over with her tiny but powerful hands.

"You. Have. Twenty. Minutes. To. Get. Ready!" She said between slaps "Then I want you out ready to greet the guests." She hissed "Andrew, Liam come with me."

And with that, she was gone.

I'm finishing tying my tie when there's a rapid knock on my door. With I final look of myself on the mirror I turn around and walk out of the bathroom to open the door. There's an instant smile on my face as soon as I look down and see who it is.

"What's up pretty little girl?!" I beam at my princess, then I make a show of twirling her around "Wow! You look so beautiful!" As our flower girl, she is wearing this beautiful white dress whit a royal blue ribbon over her waist to go with the winter theme of the wedding. "Just like a princess!"

"Thanks daddy!" She holds her hands up and I pick her up placing her on my hip. "You look handsome too!" She finishes by kissing my cheek.

Then I notice Gianna, she must have been in charge of her. After greeting her I turn back to Marie.

"How's mommy doing?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

"Oh! Daddy! She looks so beautiful! You have to see her" She jumps excitedly on my arms "Her dress is so pretty! And white and long! It looks a lot like mine!" Then she pouts "I wanted her to use my crown, but Auntie Alice didn't let her."

I laugh.

"It's Ok beautiful, I'm sure mommy still looks like a princess." I kiss her cute little frown away. "Hey, can you do me a favor? It has to be a secret though."

She nods eagerly and I take us further into the room. Then open my suitcase and bring out the paper bag with the Tim Horton's logo on it.

"Can you give this to mommy? But make sure Auntie Alice doesn't see you." I whisper as if it was a big mission.

"What is it?" She asks with excited eyes.

"Just a little something." I wink at her, giving her the bag full of glazed timbits.

"Ok!" She whisper yells back at me and darts of the room with Gianna following after her. I hear dad in the hallway running into my daughter, telling her how beautiful she looks before he pops his head into my room.

"Hey son, Alice sent me. She says she wants you at the front door in 3 minutes at most."

"I'm ready."

I'm fidgeting in my place while Emmet chuckles next to me.

This is it.

The violins start playing, and I hold my breath as I wait.

The brides' maids start walking down the aisle. Angela and Alice are wearing these beautiful long, royal blue dresses, matching with the scenery and winter decorations. The whole place looks like a winter fairytale.

The ceremony is being held on the patio, on the deck to be exact. There's a beautiful view behind me, overlooking the defrosting Lake Ontario. It's the middle of March so the winter will be over in a few short weeks, although is still too cold for an outside wedding, but nothing gets in Alice's way. Therefore we have dozens of heaters around us, making us warm enough for us not to wear coats or anything else that would also get in the way of the outfits Alice chose meticulously for us.

"What happens if she says no?" Emmet snickers and I want to punch him for the uptenth time in the last 24 hours.

"Shut up."

Then it was Andrew, holding the little pillow with the rings. I had told Emmet to secure the rings with diaper pins in addition to the ribbons since knowing my son, I knew he would find a way to lose them. He looked so cute, wearing a mini version of my grey tux.

When he got to the front Emmet took the rings and I fist bumped him. Telling him he had done a good job. He beamed at me and sat on the step by my feet. Making the crowd chuckle a little, Mom got up and told him to come and sit with her and Liam instead.

Rose was next, she was carrying a small bouquet signaling her role as the maid of honor.

I know, I thought it was weird too when Bella asked Rose instead of Alice, who had been the maid of honor the last time. She said she felt she owed Rose a lot arguing that if it hadn't been for her she would probably have never opened her eyes. That it was thanks to her that we were here now.

Alice didn't mind, she was happy to pass on the throne as long as she got to organize the wedding. Besides she thought it would be good for both of them, Rosalie had indeed warmed up towards Bella the past months, even before the accident since their talk that day before brunch. When Rosalie, and I quote Bella here "got her head out of her ass" and it got even better after she took Bella to my old place after our huge fight.

Rosalie was incredulous at first, when Bella asked her one time she had come to take her shift at taking care of Bella before I got to work. When she got over her shock, she got a little teary eyed before she hid her emotions and said yes. She said since she didn't have a sister, or really close friends she never thought she would get that opportunity and thanked Bella profusely, which made Bella cry in return.

Long story short, Rosalie and Bella were now heading towards a close friendship. Both of them having a lot in common, more than they thought. They both had grown up in shattered homes, Rosalie's parents where never there for her both always being busy with work so Rosalie as Bella had to grow up too fast too.

When Rosalie got to the front she smiled at us and took her place next to the officiant facing down the hallway again, when I looked up I wanted to cry as the crowd awed. It was my pretty little girl's turn, she blushed when she realized everyone was staring at her and her steps faltered, clutching the basket with white petals tightly. Her eyes were wide and her lip quivered as a few people chuckled. Gianna who had been at the back taking care of her tried to make her move but Marie paled.

My heart tugged so I ignored Alice's warnings and left my spot, walking down the aisle towards my little princess. When I stood in front of her I kneeled down and made her look at me.

"What's up baby?" I asked her lightly so she wouldn't think I was mad or upset.

"Everyone'staring." She mumbled close to tears.

"Well, that's obvious. You look so beautiful," I smoothed the skirt of her dress "of course everyone is staring."

"What if I fall?"

"No you won't, but if it makes you feel better I'll walk with you. You want that?" I smiled at her and she nodded shyly.

Everyone awed again as I picked her up in my arms and walked us down the aisle. Halfway down Marie remembered her choir and started throwing petals on the floor inciting a few more chuckles from the crowd.

"You Ok?" I asked when we reached the altar and she nodded "Alright, now go and sit with pops."

As soon as I put her on the ground she kissed my cheek and I heard the snap of a camera. "Love you daddy."

"Love you more." I winked.

When I straightened up, I caught a glimpse of my mother crying. As soon as I was back on my place the music changed, and I could hear my heart beating in my ears.

This was it.

Thank god it was winter, otherwise I know I'd be sweating like a pig by now.

The crowd stands up and turn to face the archway, my heart stops its rapid beating as soon as I catch a glimpse of white. Then, all air leaves me as soon as she comes out of the shadows.

Next to her father she floats flawlessly down the aisle in my direction, her dress flowing behind her with its long trail. She looks outstanding, her hair is gathered up in an intricate but at the same time simple chignon, exposing her delicate and elegant neck. The dress, strapless falls freely around her covering her little bump, and a velvety blue ribbon tied below her breasts, keeping it up.

Our eyes lock, and I'm sure her beautiful wide smile is a mirror of mine. Her eyes are glazed, as if she is about to cry and now I have a knot in my throat for the very same reason.

Finally. We are here, where we were supposed to be all along.

The aisle hadn't seems so long a few minutes ago, maybe it is since it's taking her twice as long to get her because Charlie refused to use his cane so they are taking it slowly. But finally she is standing in front of me, and with that old traditional symbol Charlie places her hand on mine. I kiss her cheek, then the corner of her left eye where a tear just dropped.

"Thanks for your little present." She whispers with a shy smile "The little peanuts appreciated it."

I smile wider at her.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you look?"

That makes her blush, so I know my job is done. With a last kiss on her forehead Rosalie takes her bouquet and I help her up the step to the small platform where we are covered by a small beautiful white tent covered with flowers. I take her hand and turn us towards the officiant.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sign of God and in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony…"

Time passes so quickly, and it seems only a few minutes has passed when the officiant asks us to say our vows.

Bella and I turn to face each other, and I take both of her hands in mine and bring them to my lips before a settle my eyes on hers. She is crying again, and I brush my thumb over her cheek to wipe some of her tears away.

"When I was fifteen, I lost one of the most important persons in my life… for years I struggled coming to terms with it, I became a totally different person, back then… I couldn't see what the problem really was, now I see. Fifteen years ago, I didn't only lose my brother. I lost someone else, myself. Half of me was missing, and I thought that part belonged to him, that only he would ever fill that part. But now, Bella I see it was you who was meant to fill that part." More tears started falling down her cheeks.

"When love is truly right, it lives from year to year. It changes as it goes, but only in the way it grows. It never disappears, no matter how hard times get, or how many obstacles we face. It'll always be there, always bringing us back together." I squeezed her hands and she squeezed mines back "Our love was too great, it was so great it could heal the long scarred wounds as well as the fresh, too great to let anything get between us, too great to forget or ignore, too great to bring us back to this moment." She smiled a watery smile, her eyes –red with tears- looked so happy and bright as she listened to my words.

"When life threw us our worst obstacle," My voice trembled a little "when you were gone you didn't only took that half of me with you but my entire soul. I lost myself again, I became into someone I'm not proud of, I forgot who I was and what I was supposed to be. That time was hard, the hardest years of my life as this time around I lost _the_ most important person in my life. But with pain comes wisdom."

"I learned to never ever take anything for granted, to cherish everything I had now, take in the moment and live. I learned the true meaning of forever, what it meant to love passionately and unconditionally. I learned the meaning of forgiveness the difference from contentment and happiness."

"That's why today, in front of our two children, our family, friends and god… I swear to you I'll never take you for granted, that I'll cherish every single moment with you as if it was our last, take it in and save it into my memory. I'll open my eyes and see what life has to offer with you by my side, sharing our ups and downs, celebrating our victories and leaning onto each other's shoulder when we loss. Loving you passionately and unconditionally, understanding and forgiving when we mess up and relieving in the happiness the good moments bring."

"But above all, I promise to love you. Every day of forever, there won't be a single day I won't see you and think how lucky I got, there won't be a single day I won't tell you how much I love you, or that I won't make you feel loved and adored. I won't ever take you or our kids for granted."

"I'll protect you and take care of you. _All of you_" I punctuated, including the peanuts "mean the world to me, I never thought I'll be this lucky and I thank you for everything you've given me so far, most importantly our family. I love you and I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together. Forever."

Bella sniffed as I swallowed the knot that had formed in my throat. Then she took a deep breath and I squeezed her hands encouragingly. She lifted her gorgeous face and looked straight into my eyes.

"When I was six, I had this dream about meeting a prince in shinning armor," She started with a soft chuckle "who would recue me from a cruel monster who had me prisoner in a tall tower guarded by dragons. Growing up, the tower was replaced by a small town, the dragons where in my head and the monster had a face. I had replaced reality with fairytales to escape from my past, to give myself hope that something great was waiting for me. Just when I thought I got my wish, life got harder again. My prince was gone so I gave up in the whole thing."

I looked down at her with a sad smile.

"Then, with the help of some friendly smurfs and a non-convetional godmother" She winked at Rose "I found my prince again, who helped me fight against my personal demons and overcome my fears." Her voice shook with emotion "Who taught me that even though life is not a real fairytale it can be as magical and wonderful as you want it to be. Someone who showed me that even in the rain, dancing can be fun and when you least expect it… the sun will come up." She paused and took a few breaths, calming her voice and I kissed her fingers soothingly.

"We'll never be able to control what happens around us but it's on _us_ if we are going to let it crush us or make the most of what we got. You showed me that, you gave me my faith back and showed me what's really important in life. You helped me to love and believe in myself above anything else. You cured me with your patience, your kindness, your love and I can't thank you enough for never giving up on me, for saving me from myself."

I felt my eyes sting.

"Now, thanks to you I know who I am and what I want. I'm not afraid of fighting and dreaming anymore. With you I feel invincible and strong enough to fight a storm on my own, with you by my side I feel as if I can take anything. You changed me for the better, you made that little girl's dream come true. Thank you for fighting for us and saving me when I didn't have the strength or faith to go on." Her voice cracked.

"You do make me feel loved and cherished everyday, and I promise to return the favor. I promise to love you everyday for the rest of our lives, to never doubt you or question your feelings, to believe in you. I promise to be there when you need me, to hold your hand on the hard times and laugh with you on the good ones."

"I promise to love you forever, but as once you told me, we are not perfect, we are full of flaws and that's why we are perfect for each other. Thank you for trusting me with your heart, you are the only one who has ever touched mine, it will always be yours just as me, as I am and always been... only yours." She cried the least.

I can't help myself and I lean down to kiss her, is short and small but full of the love and the devotion I have for this woman. I hope she can see it on my eyes all the things I wish I could say to her but have no words for.

Then it's time for the rings, Emmet comes forward and hands them to me. Seconds later the officiant asks the question and I finally hear those two words I've been waiting to hear for almost six years.

"I do." She says with her gorgeous smile.

"I do." I say triumphantly.

"Now you can kiss the bride."

Hell yeah.

I cup her cheeks and close our distance, capturing her lips between mine. I barely hear the applause from the crowd, it's far away in the distance. Right now, I'm here taking in this moment, enjoying it and savoring the feeling.

I would think that life couldn't get any better than this, but as I feel her little bump between us, I know its bullshit. It's amazing, how far along we've become. We went from nothing, from zero to utter happiness. After all we've been through we still made it.

It's funny how life works, how sometimes you even wonder why you were born and other times it gives you so much you can't wrap your head around it all. As I break our kiss for some much needed air, I lose myself on the utter happiness of her eyes and I know it was worth it. Obviously I wish things had gone different but still, after all the pain, regret and hate… when I see her eyes, when I see Andrew and Marie climb the steps towards us with their beaming faces I know I'd do it again for them. Every tear we shed, every sob we broke it was worth it for this moment.

"And so, by the power vested in me by the province of Ontario and Almighty God, I now pronounce you man and wife. May your days be good and long upon the earth."

Suddenly we are surrounded by a huge crowd hugs, kisses and congratulations everywhere. It's not a big wedding, about 180 guests but still is so overwhelming and I just want a moment with my family, and I'm not talking about my extended family.

_My family._

"Picture time!" Alice chimes and ushers everyone away, pulling us to the VIP room where the photographer is ready and Adam directs our guests towards the ballroom inside.

An hour later, I'm almost completely blind from all the flashes and Andrew is getting grumpy. So we finish the session and everyone leaves, leaving Bella and I alone while the band gets ready for our first official announcement.

"Mom, could you hold a sec? We need to talk with Andrew and Marie first." I ask as she was about to leave with them, she was in charge of them though the rest of the party.

"Of course honey, I'll be waiting outside." With that she closes the door and leaves the four of us in the room. Well… the six of us if you count the peanuts.

The twins turn around and look at us expectantly, their eyes bright with excitement about all the attention and the day in general.

"Why don't we sit first?" I suggest, as Bella has been standing long enough and I was still worried about her.

Lee had said she was safe now, but you never know, and her body hasn't recovered completely from the accident as her ribs where still a little tender and she had a little limp from her broken leg when she had been standing for a while.

I pick up Marie and Bella takes Andrew's hand as we walk to a couch in front of a big window facing the lake. I sit on the couch next to Bella with Marie on my lap and Andrew jumps onto Bella's. I lose the knot on my tie a little and I chuckle as I notice Andrew trying to do the same with his clip-on one.

"So," I begin "you had a good time at the ceremony?"

"Yes!" Marie beams.

"No." Andrew scrunches his nose "the old guy was soooo boring!"

"But it was so pretty!" Marie stares at him aghast.

"No, it was boring."

"Pretty!"

"Boring!"

"Ok, ok." Bella intervened before they really got at it. "What your dad and I really wanted to know, is if you know what all this means?" she gestured around.

"You marry-ed." Marie smiled.

"Uhu, what else."

"We are a family."

"That's right princess," I poke her nose "although we already were. Remember what I told you once?"

"A family's a group of people who loves each other and takes care of each other. No matter who they are, or where." She parroted.

"Exactly, the only difference now is that its official and mommy's name is different."

"You change your name?" Andrew frowned "but I like yours."

We chuckled.

"I only changed my last name honey, now I'm a Cullen… like you. We are all Cullens."

They both stare at us incredulous.

My cheeks hurt so much from smiling.

"Really?" Marie whimpers "We family?"

"Yes, we are officially a family. Are you happy?"

She nods but hides her face on my chest, overwhelmed about it all.

"So you never leaving again?" Andrew's quiet tone surprised the hell out of me, he was usually the laid back one.

"I'm never leaving kiddo." I kiss his forehead.

I have told them this about a thousand times, but they still get insecure once in a while. I guess with time, they'll finally believe me. Good thing, we had a lot.

"Now, the other reason daddy and I wanted to talk to you," Bella whipped her tear stained cheeks "is because we have a little surprise for you."

They look up at us curiously.

"Actually, two little surprises." Bella corrects with a small smile, holding up two fingers.

Andrew gasps.

"You got me a boat?!"

Oh yeah, he's still on Jack Sparrow's mode and superman at night.

"No, something better." I wiggle my eyebrows.

"My balcony?!" Marie asks with utter excitement and Bella and I chuckle.

Knowing this wasn't working, I try something different.

"Don't you notice something different on mommy?" They both stare at her and Bella makes a show of rubbing her belly.

"No." Both of them say.

"Marie, remember what you asked mommy and me a while ago? I think it was on thanksgiving."

She thinks for a moment, then nods to herself.

"I ask-ed for a sister." She says simply.

I love how lately she's been trying to speak like an adult, and how proud of herself she looks at speaking correctly. My pretty little Einstein.

"Well," I rub Bella's belly "Don't you see mommy's belly is a little bigger now?"

Both of their eyes go wide.

"What you eat mommy?!" Andrew screeches and Bella and I start laughing.

"I didn't eat anything buddy, my body is changing because-"

"My sister's in there!" Marie cheers, throwing her arms up in the air.

"You have a sister?" Andrew scrunches his nose and Marie rolls her eyes. "And you eat it mommy?!" His eyes go wild.

"No buddy, let me explain." I start, trying to control my laughs. "Remember how Auntie Alice carried Camille in her tummy before she was born?" He nodded "Well, now mommy is doing the same, although instead of one baby she is carrying two."

His eyes went wide.

"There are two babies in there?" He pointed towards Bella's stomach.

"Yes sweetie," Bella caressed his hair "although they are too little right now, that's why I have to take care of them in here while they grow and are strong enough to come out and play with you."

"Like when you and your sister were born, mommy first carried you in here." I rub Bella's stomach again "Which means these two little babies will be your siblings, so you'll have to be good big brothers for them. Do you understand?"

"So I'm having two sisters?" Marie beamed.

"Well, we don't know yet honey. We have to wait and see if they are boys or girls." I kissed her hair. "But no matter what they are, we are all going to take care of them and love them and I'm sure they love you just as much." I poke their noses.

"Are you happy about it?" Bella rubbed her belly tenderly.

They both nodded eagerly, big smiles on their happy little faces. Their green eyes sparkling with glee.

"I want them be boys, they can be Pintel and Ragetti!" Andrew declared and I looked up at the ceiling.

Dear lord, please let them be girls.

"Ladies and gentleman, it's an honor to introduce you for the first time ever… Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen!"

The door flung open and Bella and I walk into the ballroom, all our friends and family were there, smiling and cheering for us but I didn't look at them, I only had eyes for my pretty girl.

"Watch your step Cullen!" Lee hollers, I show him my _ring_ finger and he guffaws.

After circling the dance floor once, I twirl Bella towards the middle and the band starts our song. As soon as my eyes fall on hers, we are on our happy place. Our little bubble. Her eyes shining with tears again and a wide smile that I know mirrors mine.

"_Well, here we are again… I guess it must be fate.__"_

Bella places her right hand on my shoulder and I take her left putting our joined hands over my chest. Carefully, I start swaying us from side to side.

"_We've tried it on our own,__but deep inside we've known__… __We'd be back to set things straight.__"_

Bella and I had a hard time choosing our wedding song, she wanted _our _song "You and Me" to be our wedding song, but I disagreed saying we needed another one more appropriate to our situation and that we should keep "You and Me" only for us. In the end, after I showed her the one I thought best she had started crying and agreed immediately.

"_I still remember when__your kiss was so brand new.__"_

I look down at her and see that her eyes water again and tears start slipping. It's normal for a bride to be overwhelmed and sensitive, add to that a few pregnancy hormones and I know she's only staring. I lean down and brush my lips on the corners of her eyes. She smiles shyly and buries her face on my neck.

"I love you, _Mrs. Cullen_."

"_Every memory repeats,__every step I take retreats, __e__very journey always brings me back to you.__"_

She laughs and looks back up to me.

"I love you more, _hubby_."

I kiss her again.

Camera flashes all around.

"_After all the stops and starts,__we keep coming back to these two hearts…__two angels who've been rescued from the fall.__"_

"I'm so excited about the next two weeks. I can't believe you pulled it through."

I kiss her forehead.

"Anything for you."

"_After all that we've been through,__it all comes down to me and you.__I guess it's meant to be,__forever you and me, after all.__"_

Tomorrow we are heading to Mexico for our honeymoon, Cancun is supposed to have some of the most beautiful and safest beaches in the world and since I promised Bella I'd take her to a real beach one day… that's where we are spending the next 10 days. Then we'll fly to LA and mom will meet us there with kids, where the four of us will be taking a small vacation at Disneyland. It'll be the kids first time there, and it's another surprise we are not telling them until we are there. Since Bella won't be able to travel during the summer, we thought about doing it now. We wanted a few weeks for ourselves with the kids before the peanuts arrive, so they won't feel left out once our hands are full.

"_When love is truly right__… __it lives from year to year.__It changes as it goes,__oh, and on the way it grows,__but it never disappears…"_

"Thank you." She pulls my forehead to rest on hers.

"For what?"

"For this, for being her with me. For everything."

"I should thank you too, then."

"Why?" She smiled.

"For everything you've given me so far."

"Like what?" she asks playfully.

"It's a long list, I don't know where to start. I guess… the most important one would be our growing family."

She stood on her toes and kissed me.

"Well, then I should thank you for that too. I didn't make'em on my own, you know?" She said with mirth and I kiss her again.

When the song is over, Charlie comes to the dance floor for her dance with Bella and I go after mom. When that's over too, the lead singer congratulates us again and the party begins. We head back to our table were the rest of our family is, all grinning and enjoying themselves.

"Oh god! I'm so happy for you!" Mom gushes, evolving us in a bone crushing hug.

"Easy mom." I say rubbing Bella's belly, who only rolls her eyes at me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she apologizes. "Oh my god! It's just that I'm so happy! I've been waiting for this day long enough!"

"Thanks Esme," Bella blushes reclining against me and I kiss her temple. "and thank you for everything you and Alice did. Everything looks so beautiful." She looks around.

"Oh, don't even mention it! Now, c'mon and sit, food is about to be served and I bet you must be starving dear."

At that, Bella blushes again and nods eagerly.

We sit on our places and Marie jumps onto my lap, I give her messy kisses all over her face which makes her giggle something crazy. My heart soars, high on bliss I don't know how much more I'll be able to take. I'm so happy, I look around my table and see all the smiles and happy faces from my loved ones too. The scene so far from that brunch when Alice had told me Bella moved on. I remember the hurt when I had seen all my family in their happy bubble and how no matter how I wished I was part of it, I couldn't. Thinking I'll never get this, that I'll never have what they had, a future.

And now, here we are after all.

"Pops! Guess what?! Daddy's big bird put two seeds in mommy's button!"

I whip my head to see Andrew on mom's lap screaming the news and everybody stare at him in shock.

Oh god.

Bella turns ten shades of red and hides her face on my shoulder, I throw an arm around her and draw her closer to me. I look at my family and I can only laugh at their shocked expressions.

"I knew it!" Alice screams pointing an accusing finger to us before turning to an amused Rose. "I told you she looked too fat!"

"Oh god yes!" Mom looks like she has won the lottery "More grandbabies for me!" She stands up and comes to hug us again, the rest of the family following.

"Hey! How is this fair?! I can't even make one!" Emmet jokes making us all laugh.

"Maybe there's something wrong with your bird?" Jasper says barely able to contain his laughter and Emmet pales.

"Maybe it's because mine's bigger." I add.

"Uncle Edward has a big bird?" Liam asks innocently.

"Of course I do." I smirk which earns me a smack from Rosalie.

Hey! In my defense, Emmet had said worse things in front of the twins.

"Ok, let's lay down the testosterone contest for a bit." Dad chuckles and turns back to us. "Congratulations, son, Bella."

"Thank you Carlisle." Bella smiles shyly and then it's Emmet and Rosalie's turn to congratulate us.

"I call dibs on one to be his godmother." Rosalie says as she hugs Bella.

"Does this means you'll have a little ginger smurfs' army to worry about soon?" Emmet slaps my back.

And again, I pray for them to be girls. Although so many boyfriends, mini-skirts and make-up to worry about will surely give me a coronary before I hit my fifties.

The elevator doors slide open and I swoop Bella up in my arms bridal style. She lets out a giggle as I continue our way down the corridor. It's almost midnight and we are at the Ritz now, -where the girls spent last night- the rest of the family and some guests are staying for the night too since the hotel is close to the Palais. Mom and Dad got to baby sit again so they had turn in hours ago with all the kids, the party was still going on back at the Palais but Bella had begun to feel tired so we called it a night too.

I open the door to the Wellington suite, cross the threshold and let Bella back on her feet. She turns around and wraps her arms around my neck, locking her lips with mine.

"I thought you were tired." I say against her lips.

"Changed my mind." She mumbles.

"Are you sure?" I look for her eyes "I'll understand."

"Pretty boy," she gives me a look "Shut up and kiss me."

Ok.

My lips meet her again, I trace her bottom lip with my tongue and she opens her mouth to let it meet hers. My hands roam around her back and waist, feeling every curve and line of her body. My mouth finds her neck and she lets out a small moan.

It'll be our first time since the accident, Lee had said no sex in eight weeks and in my worried state I added a few weeks more. Due to her hormones, she had been horny as hell and said I was being silly about it, that Lee had given us the green light but I didn't bulge. So we came to a compromise, we would wait until our wedding night to be intimate again.

So it's been 10 weeks and 3 long ass days since the last time we did it. Last time being the morning we had gone for our first ultrasound with Lee, the day of the accident so is no surprise I'm already sporting a big boner after just a few kisses.

With a swift motion I carry her in my arms again and without breaking the kiss walk across the living room and into the bedroom. The suite is beautiful, spacious and pure luxury. Too bad we didn't even stop for a tour. Once in the room I settle Bella on the floor again by the king sized bed and take her face between my hands, searching for her eyes. When I find then, I see that her eyes are full of lust and desire, but above all… love, just like mine. I trace the back of fingers along her cheek and she places a hand over mine, kissing my wrist.

There are no words, everything we want to say we say it with our eyes and our caresses. She already knows her place in my heart, now is time to show her. With my other hand, I trace her spine. Her body shivers and I see a flash of goose bumps run down her shoulders and arms. My fingers find the blue bow at her back and tug at it as I capture her mouth again with a long deep kiss.

Her hands pull at the laps on my jacket, slowly sliding it down my arms. When it finally falls on the floor she starts with the buttons on my vest and shirt. When my upper clothes are discarded, I turn her around and find the zipper on her dress, slowly pulling it down. My mouth is on the juncture between her neck and shoulder, suckling and nipping.

Her dress pools down to her feet and I help her tiptoe out of it. Taking her by her hand I pull us next to the bed and I sit over the mattress with her between my legs. I lean my head down and press a soft kiss over her protruding stomach. Her fingers slide up the nape of my neck caressing my hair.

"I never thought you could become more precious to me." I whisper, still kissing her skin.

She tilts my head up and crashes her mouth with mine, straddling my lap. I grab her bottom, kneading, squeezing pressing her against my growing erection. My hands roam up her back, then over her chest until I reach her hair and start freeing it from pins and rubbers. Her hair cascades in soft curls around her shoulders in tangled messes, shielding us with a thick mahogany curtain. She places her hands on my shoulders and pushes me onto my back hovering over me.

Our kisses are more urgent now, quickly escalating with passion and need. I cup her breasts –glad she had gone braless- and pinch her nipples. She starts grinding, her hot spot pressing and stroking my shaft making me groan. My is cock throbbing and pulsing under my pants, aching and begging for some sweet relief. I pull her face upwards and suck harder on her long flawless neck leaving a mark, then I start moving my lips downwards making a small trail with kisses until I reach her chest.

I bring one of her now fuller breasts into my mouth, sucking and licking on the pebbled skin. She lets out a moan and presses herself harder onto me, seeking friction with my steel hard cock.

"Edward…" She breathes, her chest heaving, gasping for air "I want you, so bad."

I flip us around and move her to the center of the bed, so now I'm hovering over her.

"You want me pretty girl?" My hand travels down the side of her body, which trembles at my touch "Tell me how much you want me baby." I suck her nipples again and she takes a hold of my hair pushing her chest upwards.

"Oh god," She gasps as my finger brushes down her slit "please Edward, I need you." She whimpers.

With my index finger, I move her panties aside.

"God baby, you're so wet." I groan as I start stroking her, barely able to stop myself from ripping her panties off and pounding on her.

"Only for you."

I move my lips down her body, taking my time with her breasts, her torso, I twirl my tongue around her navel and continue south.

"This," I hook the sides of her panties with a smirk "have to go." I pull them down her legs and throw them over my shoulder with the rest of our clothes.

I stand on my knees, admiring the beautiful woman under my gaze. My eyes follow every line, every curve of her magnificent body, the pregnancy making her even more amazingly beautiful to my eyes.

She blushes, and looks down suddenly self-conscious.

"You are so beautiful." I whisper, she looks at me and her face relaxes "If it wasn't for the rest of the world, I'd have you naked all day and night."

She smiles shyly and stretches her hand towards me.

"C'mere."

Without crushing her, I lay myself flush atop of her body, crushing my lips against hers. I palm her breast with my right hand she opens her mouth with a moan. I thrust my tongue in and start kissing her passionately, with devotion, trying to show her without words how much she meant to me, how much I wanted, needed and desired her. She wraps her legs around my waist, locking me in place and urging me forward.

"Take it easy Mrs. Cullen," I brush her hair away from her face "I'm planning on taking my time with you."

She whimpers and I smirk at her before leaning down to kiss her again. I start a small trail of kisses from her jaw to her collarbone, while my right hand wanders south again, touching her on the right places. She moaned as my hand teased her left breast following with my mouth. As I continue my ministrations, Bella keeps writhing under my touch. My mouth that had been teasing her nipple continues its journey down her body.

I kiss her inner thigh, then the juncture between her leg and pelvis and do the same on the other side. Her hips bulk upwards urging me on, and I chuckle at her eagerness. Slowly, I lick all the way from her entrance to her clit, where I tease and tug at it a little making her body squirm in pleasure. I gently suck her inner lips into my mouth, taking my time savoring the juices coming out of her entrance. With my fingers I start stroking her as I continue to kiss, lick and suck every part of her. My thumb, drawing soft circles around her clit makes her hold the sheets beneath her in a death grip.

I give her another open mouthed kiss exploring all of her, insert my tongue inside of her, thrusting in and out while my thumb works her clit. She lets out a loud cry and takes a hold of my hair. I take her clit into my mouth, enveloping it with my lips and then releasing it only to flicker and roll my tongue around it.

"Edward!" She cries loudly, her noises making something within me I can't describe. I only know I want more.

I start pumping my fingers in and out of her, quickening the pace as she gets closer and closer. Her whimpers and cries are desperate as they respond to my touch, pulling my hair tighter and pressing my face against her sweet pussy. My cock is about to bore a hole through my pants and it's when I lightly graze her clit that she comes hard onto my fingers.

She falls limp onto the mattress while I lick her clean, when I'm done I move upwards and hover above her as I pamper her face with kisses. I can hear her labored breathing ceasing as she comes down from her high.

"I love you." I whisper as I continue worshiping her.

"Edward… please." Her hands go to the waist of my pants and tug at them, flipping them open.

I stand on my knees and slide down the zipper, removing my pants and boxers. When I get rid of them, I return to lay atop of her again. I align myself at her entrance and her arms sneak around my neck pulling me down for a kiss.

"God, I've missed you so much. I love you so much."

"I love you more." She says and I shake my head.

"I don't believe that's possible." I silence her with a kiss and carefully push forward.

Her breathing catches and I look down at her as her eyes roll back in pleasure and sweet pain. I wait for her to adjust to me since it's been a while, and force myself to calm down otherwise I won't be able to last much. As I said it's been a long time and I'm literally craving her I'm afraid if I don't watch myself I'll start pounding her like a mad man. I have to be careful with her, thankfully the small bump between us is reminder enough.

Seconds later, after she nods at me in encouragement I start moving again. With slow, deep and long trusts inciting loud moans and whimpers out of her. The feelings and sensations running through our bodies something out of this world. She is mine, officially and I'm hers. We won't ever be apart again, nothing and no one would break us again. We are stronger now, and we are together in this. Together with our kids, we'll finally be the family we both dreamed and wished for for years. The family she never had and the family I had wanted since I met her.

I take a hold of her knee and hitch it higher pressing it to the side of my torso opening her more to me so I can go deeper. She tilts her head back in pleasure exposing her neck to me and I take the opportunity to devour it with my tongue. Her scent so sweet and amazing, it fucks with my brain.

"Bella… mine."

She is finally mine, and as I said before all the pain and hurt we went through it was worth it. For her and our family I'll go to hell and back a thousand times. I don't think I'll ever find enough words to describe how much I needed them, how much I loved them.

"Oh god, Edward… I'm close baby."

My hand goes down between us and I start playing with her clit, making her scream and vibrate in pleasure.

When I met her outside that coffee shop, I knew something had changed. When she kissed me for the first time at my mother's gallery, I knew my life wouldn't be the same anymore. When we made love for the first time, I knew it was her.

When she had walked out on me, life as I knew it was over. I had learned the hard way what was really important in life and I thought it was too late to get it back. When I found her again, I had been reborn. She changed me in so many ways, she showed me what was really important in life, overcome my fears and insecurities and made me fight for it.

Andrew had a say "He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat." And I thought I understand it but now, I know there was much more than what I thought.

Never give up.

"Edward!" She screamed as her walls tightened around me, and I quicken the pace. I swallowed her screams as I crash my lips against hers and my own orgasm takes over.

Coming down from our bliss, we are both a mess of panting chests and labored breathes, and again I'm pampering her face with soft kisses and whispering sweet nonsense against her ear.

Tears start falling down her cheeks, and I kiss those away too. Her fingers trace my cheeks and I realize I'm crying too. I turn to our sides, so I'm not crushing her and cuddle ourselves under the covers.

Again we don't say much, just the occasional "I love you". We don't need words, we just need each other right now, as we lay together in pure quiet bliss.

Now, if my smurfs could be here too I would feel complete, the six of us together. I don't know what else life might throw at us, but hopefully we'll have each other now. Life's a rollercoaster, we don't know when we'll be up, down or upside down but as long as you have someone to hold your hand while you are falling down the hill or going up in the mountain not knowing what to expect, you'll be fine.

I look down at my wife, and realize she had just fallen asleep. With my finger I start stroking the fine lines of her face, again bewitched by her beauty and the innocence in her face.

There's no use to question why life has given you certain cards, or just a few paths to walk on. But believe me when I say, that no matter how bad you game is or how hard, dangerous or obscure those paths are… don't stop, don't hold back, it's worth it... as my brother used to say:

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat."

**The end... for now ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>*Snif, Snif* It's too hard to click on the COMPLETE button but I'm soo happy at the same time. Thank you to everyone who joined me with this story, and for your support and reviews. It was an amazing journey for me, I hope I you liked this story as much as I loved writing it. I can't believe we reached the 3k + reviews mark! I'm blown away!<strong>

**Thanks to my beta Cattinson who joined me since chapter 5, for her words and amazing work, you are wonderful! I can't thank you enough! Good luck with you exams!**

**My pre-reader Lisopera, damn woman I don't know what I would have done without you! Thank you so much for reading every chap I sent you a bunch of times before answering me with your honest opinion and amazing advice. THANK YOU THANK YOU!**

**Now, let's talk about that sequel:**

**I want to write a few chapters first so I won't fall back in updates now that I have Sweet Little Angel and I'm back at school. Hopefully I'll start posting in about a month. But it will happen! It will be short 15 chapters at most, full of fluff with a bit of drama, you know me ;) I hope all of you join me to see pretty boy and pretty girl have their HEA with their little smurfs and baby peanuts!**

**Broken Dreams, Shattered Heart will update soon with Edward's suicide day, I keep forgetting to finish that one! It's been there sitting for months!**

**Till next time!**

**Saludos! Gracias!**

**tpec**


	41. Chapter 41: Sequel Alert

Hi everyone! Just so you know, the first chapter for One More Chance's sequel "You and Me" is up! Here's the summary if you are interested in pretty boy and girl's happily ever after!

"One More Chance" sequel: After all they went through Bella and Edward are finally able to move on and leave the past behind, embracing their new life together as a married couple in company of their ginger smurfs and loved ones as they wait for the arrival of certain peanuts. But, can they really leave the past in the past? What happens when certain ghost reappears in their lives?

I hope you join me on this journey too! It'll be around 15 – 20 chapter's long!

Saludos!

tpec


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